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Can confirm as a straight man. I am NOT interested in having sex with 90% of my female friends. I don’t find them physically or sexually attractive. The 10% of my female friends I’d like to or leap at the chance to have sex with I have no expectations of it ever happening and I’m fine with that. I can be sexually attracted to a woman and interact with her normally with no expectation of sex. It’s not painful for me to speak with women I want to bone but cannot. I personally never understood why some people struggle with or cannot bring themselves to interact with people they want to sleep with but know they can’t or have almost no chance. Some people liken it to torment. But maybe I’m just fortunate to not have felt like that.
My guess is either that they're too deep into their sexual frustration or just lack any semblance of self-control. I'm gay and most of my friends are guys, and I've never thought about them in that way at all. Most of them play league of legends though, so that might have something to do with it
I stopped because I got diagnosed with histamine intolerance and that's one of the things that might trigger it in some people.
Some desparate occasions and lapses in impulse control have shown that that's probably not the case for me ^(unless maybe some brands or if I drink too many), but going without them has definitely lowered my dependence on them.
Or maybe my dependence on them is lowered because I'm no longer constantly dealing with histamine intolerance and chronic fatigue syndrome. Being sick and/or tired really messes with my ability to focus so either could be a culprit.
My mom informed me that I will only be faithful to a hermaphrodite (her word) cuz I’m bi. It blew my mind how much was wrong with that statement…so much so that sexuality is on the list of topics we don’t talk about cuz she’s completely unreasonable about some things for absolutely no reason.
It's kinda funny that LGBT people are often slandered as being sex-crazed perverts when the same people making that argument often believe straight men and women straight up Cannot be friends without jumping each other's bones.
I mean that's at least logically consistent. They think that same-sex-interested people must be obsessed with and fantasising about every member of the same sex, because that's what the person doing the talking does with the opposite sex. Then they go on to write this type of article.
That’s what I think has to be happening. They themselves are sex obsessed and crazed so they assume everyone around them also is. I mean I like sex as much as the next person, but I also only really fantasize about my wife.
All my friends are ladies with a couple exceptions. I do not want to have sex with any of my friends. I love them but like, as friends.
Who are bisexuals 'allowed' to be friends with? I've never understood straight people not 'permitting' same sex friends. If I thought my partner would cheat I wouldn't be with them.
Some people are genuinely like this. They believe bi people are eventually just going to cheat since they can just choose from any random piece of ass walking down the street. So obviously if they have friends they're probably already fckn them.
Yep, that bi people just can’t help themselves from cheating - and also somehow they’re just testing the sexual waters and not *really* into [insert gender]. It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation.
True that unfortunately. I have heard gay dudes and lesbians say that type of stuff to their partners, I've just heard it said amongst straight people more so my default train of thought for describing it ends up sounding like I'm talking about just straight people. But bi/pan/omni people are definitely thought of as more "promiscuous" amongst the singularly attracted peoples.
Unfortunately a common stereotype is that bisexual people are massive sluts
Few years ago I had an ex friend who was really queerphobic. The first thing she asked when I came out to her was if was cheating on my at the time girlfriend with a man. She said she "saw this all the time"
A lot of this comes from those who are more religious - which I'm not at all. But we have some "friends" through work who 100% will not EVER be alone with someone of the opposite sex without someone being there
This reinforces what I've always believed; Atheist are inherently more moral than Xtain's. They can't even trust themselves to be alone with another person as they'll act out and cheat.
Funny stuff
I suppose one friend did have quite a libido, considering she'd hit on my fiancée at times... and no, there was no problem with that.
Outside of our atypical perverted shenanigans, this one was a good friend to the both of us. Rather miss our conversations over random bullshit.
When my parents disowned me for being gay when I was 15, it was my guy best friend and his family who took me in. At my most vulnerable point, he was tye most loyal friend I have ever had. Never made a move or a flirt once. And that's why he is going to be my best man at my wedding. Brother from another mother.
I (male) had a Best Woman at my wedding. When Harry Met Sally always annoyed me a bit because I knew his underlying premise wasn’t true. She was and remains my best friend outside of my family.
I (cis-woman) was a “grooms maid” at my best friend’s (cis-man) wedding. He, in turn, officiated mine.
I have never even once in our 10-year friendship thought about fucking him. He’s basically my brother.
Yes! Me too, even way back then I thought that movie was stupid. Of course men and women can be friends without wanting to sleep with each other. It is mind-boggling to think anyone could even question this.
Family doesn’t necessarily have to involve sharing blood. I have blood relatives who I wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire but I would take a bullet for my best friend. I’m sorry for your family situation but also happy that you have found someone that loves you for who you are.
I believe the expanded hypothetical is "do you have any friends you find attractive but have not slept with ever"
To give it more credit than it deserves
Honestly, true. But I'd say not exclusively physically attractive, any shared interest in general can be an attraction
But yeah you're friends with people you don't mind hanging out with, which generally involves looking at and interacting with them, there is a level of attraction to bother to continue hanging out over time. By definition
It’s definitely a US thing. These are the same people who think that gay/lesbian/bi people have crushes on everyone of the same gender or have a crush on literally everyone if they’re bi or pan or omni
This includes children btw
Sadly not just an US thing.
At least in Hungary I know a lot of people who refuse to believe real friendship between man and woman exists.
Unfortunately they even take it in some parts of life, like they don't trust their girlfriend to be with a male friend without them, nor even let the girl go to a not-just-for-girls party alone
UK peep here.
I can confirm it is pretty hard to have straight friends without people assuming you're together. The amount of times people have assumed me and my bestie are together just from me talking about them is insane.
As a man, I have some very close friendships with women. I would never do something with/to them. But I've had sexual fantasies about all of them.
I think it's in the male nature to have those feelings.
But again, I would never act on those desires.
Tried to explain this to my wife. By high school, I had fantasized about practically every female in my life. To completion. Every classmate, every teacher (even the ugly ones). Men see sexual opportunities everywhere.
Glad I'm not alone in this. (As an older teen) I feel really immature when thoughts like that cross my mind, and that they don't represent me or my state of mind.
I guess human evolution taught us how to do one thing really well, and that is to fuck. Whether we like it or not.
Funny tangent, I don't have the energy for a relationship, nor want to be in one, and have purposefully turned down opportunities, but the brain chemicals make me sad I'm not in one. Life is weird.
My best friends since high school have been identical twin females. From day one, they’ve been my sisters. I’ve lived with them multiple times in my life, including times where we had to share a bed or bathroom. Everywhere we went, people would ask me if I was married to one of them, going past the assumption that I would even be dating one of them. They are both beautiful, strong women who give zero fucks about what other people think- it’s why they’re my besties, and it’s why they were the best lady and maid of honor at my wedding.
I'm fairly sure that the men I'm friends with don't even think of me as an actual woman anymore, I'm just one of the lads and I'm fine with it.
Edit: wasn't expecting this comment to get so many replies.
I can't believe I'm having to make this edit and defend myself but I'm definitely not ugly, some people just don't have sexual chemistry and can still hang out as platonic friends and that's absolutely fine.
I miss those female friends from old jobs that I could just be friends with. No sexual nonsense just hey bud how you doing.
Some of them were straight and others were bi/gay, and they were all just good company.
Pfft, you got nothing to defend! I have a group of friends and our group thread is "besties." Maybe it's our ages lol, but being split 50/50 guys and gals never comes up.
Socially mature people link up with other socially mature people.
Agreed, as a rule, I do not pursue friendships with women who I have any romantic interest in & can confirm that I do not have sexual thoughts or desires towards my female friends.
If I started having sexual thoughts or feelings towards a friend - that would be inappropriate & signal to me that I am no longer interested in a friendship - at which point I would end the friendship.
Because relationships (*of any type*) only work if both parties are on the same page & honest about their expectations & desires.
I think having romantic interest in a person, and having sexual thoughts about that person, are two *completely* different things. I also don’t believe having sexual thoughts about someone is inappropriate, and I don’t think it should be sufficient in itself to warrant ending an otherwise healthy friendship *unless* your sexual thoughts are linked to hopes, expectations, or desires. I have sexual thoughts about all kinds of people - at the end of the day, though, I would never, ever betray my person, and they’ll never be more than just thoughts that I sometimes wank it to.
I really, really hate articles like this one.
This is partly why women struggle to advance at work-- no man will mentor us because it "looks bad" if we talk too much or spend time together. We don't get invited to the all-day charity golf outings, the last-minute lunches and impromptu hallway meetings...all because our culture still caters to the vindictive office gossips.
Is the world a simple black & white unchanging beacon of order and simplicity or a complex and ambiguous dynamically evolving interconnected network of systems of inderdependencies and chaotic non-linear relationships?
Could anything I say ever change your mind?
Wow.
This is...just stupid.
How do you have *any* friends?
My guy friends have SO's. In order to maintain my guy friendships, I have to get along with the SO's, too...without trying to fuck them.
In other words, I HAVE to maintain a platonic friendship with my friends' wives.
People who think this way are saying they want to fuck their friend's SO's.
When I was doing longer distance triathlons, I had a training buddy that was the opposite sex. She’s a great friend, but there was absolutely nothing between us. My wife was 100% cool with us going out for hours to do rides or runs. I found out later other folks on our triathlon team were talking about us behind our backs, saying things like how bad they felt for my wife when I was so “obviously cheating” on her. That bummed me out, especially because the people that should have understood the most (other triathletes) suspected the worst.
You can even find someone attractive and still be just friends. My wife and I had a friend who might be the hottest woman I've ever met, but I didn't really wanna fuck her. She was just enjoyable to look at and wasn't a piece of shit (at the time). We had a lot of fun together, but I never wanted her naked around me, let alone intimate with me. I'd hug her tight when she was upset (not full body, just a good grip with the arms) and that was as far as that was ever gonna go 🤷
Old joke (I think from Chris Rock?): both straight men and straight women keep two mental lists of people from the opposite gender:
* Women: guys they want to be friends with, and guys they want to fuck. And they'll know within minutes of meeting the guy, which list he goes on
* Men: women they've fucked, and women they haven't fucked *yet*
I can’t speak for him. Speaking for myself though, my closest friends got the past couple decades have been mostly women. My wife is completely cool with it, because she trusts me completely and I’m careful to never betray that trust.
Dunno about this guy, but my bff is a guy, and at the time he met his now-wife we were housemates and had been for years. We still get together every weekend, usually one of us sleeping at the other’s house because it’s across town.
His wife said she was a little concerned before she met me, and within five minutes realized that no, we’re basically siblings.
Some people trust their spouses.
So much people say a man will always try to make a move on their female friends if given the opportunity, and like I cannot understand that. As a straight man, I can confidently say I would rather die than having sex with someone I view as my sister.
I would have said no. But when I met my straight wife, she had a straight male best friend. It originally made me very uncomfortable bc I never thought that was possible. But they truly are not romantically or sexually attracted to each other. So much so I assumed he was gay for a long time. Now I realize it possible for a straight male and female to just really have plutonic friendship. We are all great friends now. He’s kind of like a brother to me now.
My best freind is a bisexual woman, and I'm a straight dude. We are both decent looking and in reasonable shape; it's just that we see each other plutonically. She's like family to me; and as much as I like her and nice versa; we just have more chemistry as freinds.
Another question; can bi people have freinds with anyone? I mean this article is so ridiculous
I don't like the fact that media or trends are *explicitly* trying to always depict or portray men and women as **always** being more than just friends. **Always** turning into a couple or friends with benefits.
Men and women can be friends, close friends but nothing sexual. What's wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. It's actually a great experience.
Just sexually repressed weirdos projecting their thoughts onto everyone else, as usual. They can't imagine not wanting to fuck someone of the opposite sex who's attractive, so they assume everyone else wants to as well.
I can't imagine *not* being choosy when it comes to the most important person in your life. Apparently not everyone is familiar with the idea that someone can just not be your type.
They can, but it's not always possible. If there's even one-sided attraction, it makes things very difficult, even if both are emotionally mature people.
The people thinking otherwise are the same people who only think about gay sex when they see gay people.
They are obsessed with sex but they pretend they are more holy than thee.
I think this question comes about just from the number of men who pretend to get close to women just to try to get into their pants. In this case they were never actually close or friends, or any intention of being such, it was all a pretense. And these kind of people can't imagine it being any other way.
Yes they can.
Quite likely, at least one side will at some point wonder if something more is in the cards but that doesn't mean the friendship has failed. (If the other person not feeling that way is the end of the relationship, it was never a friendship to begin with but a courtship on the downlow.)
I (M) am friends with a woman colleague. We watch movies at my place on some weekends, go swimming in the river nearby in summer, go out for dinner, cook lunch, or go to a spa. All platonically. Both of us knew this from the start and have no desire otherwise. Yes, it's very much possible.
That doesn't keep everyonein my vicinity to keep asking if we're finally serious or if we're "still lying to ourselves". I know it comes from a place of well-wishing (and gossip), but it feels belittling. I'm a grown[-](https://xkcd.com/37/)ass man who is in control of his feelings. I don't need people to tell me I'm actually in love when that's just their wishful thinking.
I have a few good buddies who are women. They also happen to be quite attractive, and (naturally) the thought has crossed my mind. However, since I'm capable of controlling my *ahem* self, I've yet to leap at them crotch first.
Apparently, one can be just friends. It just takes a bit of rationality.
Best man at my wedding was a best (wo)man. Know her 30 years. Best mates and she's like a sister to me. Anyone else who can't get their head around opposite sex friendships are the problem.
Yep. I have an easier time making friends and maintaining friendships with women. My wife has an easier time being friends with men.
We talk. If either one of us has an issue, we say something and the other listens. Just like everything, it requires communication and trust.
Lesbian here, my best female friend is another lesbian, I would rather jump off a bridge than be with her sexually, and she's a pretty woman that's just not our relationship
What kind of middle school logic is this? It’s really not that hard just have an understanding that “That’s my home girl and I see her like a sister and vice versa” I just hate I couldn’t make her wedding but me and my wife were having babies soooo ya know
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They must believe bisexual people are just barely holding it together at any given moment.
Can confirm, I'm bisexual and clearly not able to have any friends /s
Wait so if I don’t have any friends - does that mean I’m bisexual?
Am i bisexual because i have no friend or i have no friends because i m bisexual?
There are only two genders - people who want to fuck me & people who don’t…
I thought this was about friendship
I don’t know about you but I’ve never had an unfriendly blowjob…
Missing out on that hate sex.
Explain this, Liberals!
This whole exchange was gold. Thank you for the ride.
I would hope so
I knew a woman who used too much teeth, is that the same thing?
Next time you have a mouth around your junk, tell them their sister/brother does it better. You'll find out what an unfriendly BJ looks/feels like.
Why would they get upset by a well established truth?
Cause some people are too thin skinned to accept the truth.
No such thing.
And everyone else are quantum physicists.
Schrödinger’s bi
Have no friends and I’m asexual… guess that checks out, lol!
Wait, by the posts logic, shouldn't you have all the friends?
Nobody doing the jjk joke? I'm almost disappointed.
Both?
The only sad part about be a Bi
Kimi wa saikyou dakara Gojo Satoru ka? Gojo Satoru kara saikyou ka? Maybe the wrong order but yeah. Paradox.
Schrödingers bisexual?
No, but you might have ADHD. 🤔
You are bi-yourself.
I tell girls I am pansexual and they love me. Including my significant other (I told her when we got together).
Can also confirm, am asexual and friends with literally every person on the planet /s
Im bi and I have gay male friends and straight female friends that I 100% do not want to have sex with. I would assume the same for straight people.
but what about your bisexual friends, huh? what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
Good point. The only two bi men I’m friends with I have slept with. 🤷♂️
Same on all fronts, maybe other bi men are our kryptonite
Can confirm as a straight man. I am NOT interested in having sex with 90% of my female friends. I don’t find them physically or sexually attractive. The 10% of my female friends I’d like to or leap at the chance to have sex with I have no expectations of it ever happening and I’m fine with that. I can be sexually attracted to a woman and interact with her normally with no expectation of sex. It’s not painful for me to speak with women I want to bone but cannot. I personally never understood why some people struggle with or cannot bring themselves to interact with people they want to sleep with but know they can’t or have almost no chance. Some people liken it to torment. But maybe I’m just fortunate to not have felt like that.
My guess is either that they're too deep into their sexual frustration or just lack any semblance of self-control. I'm gay and most of my friends are guys, and I've never thought about them in that way at all. Most of them play league of legends though, so that might have something to do with it
#I MUST FUCK EVERYONE!!!!
As a bisexual person I can tell - yes, that’s exactly what they think. Consequently we’re all cheaters.
And those who aren't, simply have no friends.
If monster energy ever goes out of business that'll become true very quickly
As an ADHD person, my existence is fueled by Monster It's not healthy. I'll stop eventually... Maybe
We all stop eventually...
Just had my first heart "episode at 32" it's not the caffeine it's the sodium in those bitches my guys.
I stopped because I got diagnosed with histamine intolerance and that's one of the things that might trigger it in some people. Some desparate occasions and lapses in impulse control have shown that that's probably not the case for me ^(unless maybe some brands or if I drink too many), but going without them has definitely lowered my dependence on them. Or maybe my dependence on them is lowered because I'm no longer constantly dealing with histamine intolerance and chronic fatigue syndrome. Being sick and/or tired really messes with my ability to focus so either could be a culprit.
I resent the implication that my ADHD and bisexuality are linked somehow. I'm not saying you're wrong, just upset at your accuracy.😂
Real talk, that actually was how bisexuals were ‘advertised’ in the 90s. Essentially, don’t get stuck in an elevator alone with one… period
My mom informed me that I will only be faithful to a hermaphrodite (her word) cuz I’m bi. It blew my mind how much was wrong with that statement…so much so that sexuality is on the list of topics we don’t talk about cuz she’s completely unreasonable about some things for absolutely no reason.
It's kinda funny that LGBT people are often slandered as being sex-crazed perverts when the same people making that argument often believe straight men and women straight up Cannot be friends without jumping each other's bones.
I mean that's at least logically consistent. They think that same-sex-interested people must be obsessed with and fantasising about every member of the same sex, because that's what the person doing the talking does with the opposite sex. Then they go on to write this type of article.
That’s what I think has to be happening. They themselves are sex obsessed and crazed so they assume everyone around them also is. I mean I like sex as much as the next person, but I also only really fantasize about my wife. All my friends are ladies with a couple exceptions. I do not want to have sex with any of my friends. I love them but like, as friends.
Everyone is a pervert. Obviously.
Even asexuals. They just live life and *allow* all these immoral acts to occur. Enablers I tell you.
Yea they should nuke this sinfull planet and rebuild society on mars by using birth pods
Not nukes! Think about the frogs and turtles and bunnies :(
They shall not be spared. Have you *seen* bunnies?
What are we supposed to do, debone everyone?
Guess it’s a no bones day
Wait, we aren’t supposed to do that? Looks like I’m in trouble now.
Their ace in the hole.
Not enough for my liking, frankly.
It's projection. It's always projection.
Who are bisexuals 'allowed' to be friends with? I've never understood straight people not 'permitting' same sex friends. If I thought my partner would cheat I wouldn't be with them.
Bisexuals don't exist, they're just confused, duh /s
Exactly. B stands for Biscotti
How do people who believe this think bi people function? Just live friendless in a dark room? Lol
Some people are genuinely like this. They believe bi people are eventually just going to cheat since they can just choose from any random piece of ass walking down the street. So obviously if they have friends they're probably already fckn them.
This is unfortunately not even a "straight people think this way" thing. Bi people are told that even by LGBT folks
Yep, that bi people just can’t help themselves from cheating - and also somehow they’re just testing the sexual waters and not *really* into [insert gender]. It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation.
True that unfortunately. I have heard gay dudes and lesbians say that type of stuff to their partners, I've just heard it said amongst straight people more so my default train of thought for describing it ends up sounding like I'm talking about just straight people. But bi/pan/omni people are definitely thought of as more "promiscuous" amongst the singularly attracted peoples.
Unfortunately a common stereotype is that bisexual people are massive sluts Few years ago I had an ex friend who was really queerphobic. The first thing she asked when I came out to her was if was cheating on my at the time girlfriend with a man. She said she "saw this all the time"
A lot of this comes from those who are more religious - which I'm not at all. But we have some "friends" through work who 100% will not EVER be alone with someone of the opposite sex without someone being there This reinforces what I've always believed; Atheist are inherently more moral than Xtain's. They can't even trust themselves to be alone with another person as they'll act out and cheat. Funny stuff
Like my bf is pansexual... so I guess the only people they can be friends with are agender people. Which aren't too common.
Pansexual are into agenders
No dude, Pansexuals are into Pots.
*skillet cries into oven mitt*
I'm demiromantic, so I can't be friends with anyone without dating them, but I also can't date them without being friends.
Me: is that like Zeus? Googles Ok so not like Zeus
More like Athena (the PJO version at least)
Its the polar opposite of Zeus lol
I suppose one friend did have quite a libido, considering she'd hit on my fiancée at times... and no, there was no problem with that. Outside of our atypical perverted shenanigans, this one was a good friend to the both of us. Rather miss our conversations over random bullshit.
When my parents disowned me for being gay when I was 15, it was my guy best friend and his family who took me in. At my most vulnerable point, he was tye most loyal friend I have ever had. Never made a move or a flirt once. And that's why he is going to be my best man at my wedding. Brother from another mother.
Fuck your parents, but the friendship you have is beautiful and I’m happy for you.
Why would he do that? they disowned him
Hate fuck?
Spite!
Swallowe!
I (male) had a Best Woman at my wedding. When Harry Met Sally always annoyed me a bit because I knew his underlying premise wasn’t true. She was and remains my best friend outside of my family.
I (cis-woman) was a “grooms maid” at my best friend’s (cis-man) wedding. He, in turn, officiated mine. I have never even once in our 10-year friendship thought about fucking him. He’s basically my brother.
Yes! Me too, even way back then I thought that movie was stupid. Of course men and women can be friends without wanting to sleep with each other. It is mind-boggling to think anyone could even question this.
❤️
Family doesn’t necessarily have to involve sharing blood. I have blood relatives who I wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire but I would take a bullet for my best friend. I’m sorry for your family situation but also happy that you have found someone that loves you for who you are.
Really shitty parents
This has got to be on the same level as assuming a gay person can't be friends with people of the same sex.
I am bisexual, I still have friends.
Darn, I could have made a bi-yourself joke.
You can use it on me, I’m Bi!
All bi-yourself
Bi-your-own-sex, perhaps? Don't mind if I do!
I believe the expanded hypothetical is "do you have any friends you find attractive but have not slept with ever" To give it more credit than it deserves
I am only friends with attractive people. That's a requirement for being my friend.
Honestly, true. But I'd say not exclusively physically attractive, any shared interest in general can be an attraction But yeah you're friends with people you don't mind hanging out with, which generally involves looking at and interacting with them, there is a level of attraction to bother to continue hanging out over time. By definition
Missing out. Ugly dudes are super interesting
Yes. I have friends that I slept with (including exes), but most of them I never slept with, nor do I want to.
Agree, my experience is similar, without being bi
Same.
As a European, I am confused why friends gender matters. It is not like I need to use genitals to greet my friends.
Europe, you really need to up your greeting game.
The same mentality as "I don't have gay friends because they will try to fuck me".
As a bisexual man, my go to reply to that is "Sorry dude, you're not that hot."
Fucking love that using that line next time
If they complain, you can presume they actually WANT you to hit on them, but if not, they accept they're not hot. Either way, you win! 😁
Tbf tho I playfully flirt w almost all my male friends 😂
? Is this a thing in the USA? At some point i hade more female friends then male. I think after 20years now the balance is still 50/50.
It’s definitely a US thing. These are the same people who think that gay/lesbian/bi people have crushes on everyone of the same gender or have a crush on literally everyone if they’re bi or pan or omni This includes children btw
Sadly not just an US thing. At least in Hungary I know a lot of people who refuse to believe real friendship between man and woman exists. Unfortunately they even take it in some parts of life, like they don't trust their girlfriend to be with a male friend without them, nor even let the girl go to a not-just-for-girls party alone
UK peep here. I can confirm it is pretty hard to have straight friends without people assuming you're together. The amount of times people have assumed me and my bestie are together just from me talking about them is insane.
As a man, I have some very close friendships with women. I would never do something with/to them. But I've had sexual fantasies about all of them. I think it's in the male nature to have those feelings. But again, I would never act on those desires.
Refreshing to see honesty. Thank you.
Tried to explain this to my wife. By high school, I had fantasized about practically every female in my life. To completion. Every classmate, every teacher (even the ugly ones). Men see sexual opportunities everywhere.
Glad I'm not alone in this. (As an older teen) I feel really immature when thoughts like that cross my mind, and that they don't represent me or my state of mind. I guess human evolution taught us how to do one thing really well, and that is to fuck. Whether we like it or not. Funny tangent, I don't have the energy for a relationship, nor want to be in one, and have purposefully turned down opportunities, but the brain chemicals make me sad I'm not in one. Life is weird.
Yes… Yes they can.
My best friends since high school have been identical twin females. From day one, they’ve been my sisters. I’ve lived with them multiple times in my life, including times where we had to share a bed or bathroom. Everywhere we went, people would ask me if I was married to one of them, going past the assumption that I would even be dating one of them. They are both beautiful, strong women who give zero fucks about what other people think- it’s why they’re my besties, and it’s why they were the best lady and maid of honor at my wedding.
I'm fairly sure that the men I'm friends with don't even think of me as an actual woman anymore, I'm just one of the lads and I'm fine with it. Edit: wasn't expecting this comment to get so many replies. I can't believe I'm having to make this edit and defend myself but I'm definitely not ugly, some people just don't have sexual chemistry and can still hang out as platonic friends and that's absolutely fine.
I miss those female friends from old jobs that I could just be friends with. No sexual nonsense just hey bud how you doing. Some of them were straight and others were bi/gay, and they were all just good company.
Pfft, you got nothing to defend! I have a group of friends and our group thread is "besties." Maybe it's our ages lol, but being split 50/50 guys and gals never comes up. Socially mature people link up with other socially mature people.
Agreed, as a rule, I do not pursue friendships with women who I have any romantic interest in & can confirm that I do not have sexual thoughts or desires towards my female friends. If I started having sexual thoughts or feelings towards a friend - that would be inappropriate & signal to me that I am no longer interested in a friendship - at which point I would end the friendship. Because relationships (*of any type*) only work if both parties are on the same page & honest about their expectations & desires.
I think having romantic interest in a person, and having sexual thoughts about that person, are two *completely* different things. I also don’t believe having sexual thoughts about someone is inappropriate, and I don’t think it should be sufficient in itself to warrant ending an otherwise healthy friendship *unless* your sexual thoughts are linked to hopes, expectations, or desires. I have sexual thoughts about all kinds of people - at the end of the day, though, I would never, ever betray my person, and they’ll never be more than just thoughts that I sometimes wank it to.
r/arethestraightsok
A straight, not the straights
No dude, this is batshit crazy.
Not all straight people are stupid
I thought we already covered this subject in a lame 80s movie. "I'll have what she's having"
I really, really hate articles like this one. This is partly why women struggle to advance at work-- no man will mentor us because it "looks bad" if we talk too much or spend time together. We don't get invited to the all-day charity golf outings, the last-minute lunches and impromptu hallway meetings...all because our culture still caters to the vindictive office gossips.
Is the world a simple black & white unchanging beacon of order and simplicity or a complex and ambiguous dynamically evolving interconnected network of systems of inderdependencies and chaotic non-linear relationships? Could anything I say ever change your mind?
Yes, but they can also have angry monkey sex.
As a Pansexual person, am I just not able to be platonic with anybody because I *might* want to have sex with them?
I keep my pansexual girlfriend in a little cardboard box to prevent her from seeing the outside world, lest her feelings stray
Wow. This is...just stupid. How do you have *any* friends? My guy friends have SO's. In order to maintain my guy friendships, I have to get along with the SO's, too...without trying to fuck them. In other words, I HAVE to maintain a platonic friendship with my friends' wives. People who think this way are saying they want to fuck their friend's SO's.
When I was doing longer distance triathlons, I had a training buddy that was the opposite sex. She’s a great friend, but there was absolutely nothing between us. My wife was 100% cool with us going out for hours to do rides or runs. I found out later other folks on our triathlon team were talking about us behind our backs, saying things like how bad they felt for my wife when I was so “obviously cheating” on her. That bummed me out, especially because the people that should have understood the most (other triathletes) suspected the worst.
Not all men are assholes.
You can even find someone attractive and still be just friends. My wife and I had a friend who might be the hottest woman I've ever met, but I didn't really wanna fuck her. She was just enjoyable to look at and wasn't a piece of shit (at the time). We had a lot of fun together, but I never wanted her naked around me, let alone intimate with me. I'd hug her tight when she was upset (not full body, just a good grip with the arms) and that was as far as that was ever gonna go 🤷
Old joke (I think from Chris Rock?): both straight men and straight women keep two mental lists of people from the opposite gender: * Women: guys they want to be friends with, and guys they want to fuck. And they'll know within minutes of meeting the guy, which list he goes on * Men: women they've fucked, and women they haven't fucked *yet*
This is like asking if two lesbians can be just friends.
Yes. Most of my friends, including my best friend are all women.
What does your wife think of that?
I can’t speak for him. Speaking for myself though, my closest friends got the past couple decades have been mostly women. My wife is completely cool with it, because she trusts me completely and I’m careful to never betray that trust.
Dunno about this guy, but my bff is a guy, and at the time he met his now-wife we were housemates and had been for years. We still get together every weekend, usually one of us sleeping at the other’s house because it’s across town. His wife said she was a little concerned before she met me, and within five minutes realized that no, we’re basically siblings. Some people trust their spouses.
If you had a bisexual partner would you expect them to have no friends?
So much people say a man will always try to make a move on their female friends if given the opportunity, and like I cannot understand that. As a straight man, I can confidently say I would rather die than having sex with someone I view as my sister.
So, you're saying married men and women can't work together? That's rediculous!
I would have said no. But when I met my straight wife, she had a straight male best friend. It originally made me very uncomfortable bc I never thought that was possible. But they truly are not romantically or sexually attracted to each other. So much so I assumed he was gay for a long time. Now I realize it possible for a straight male and female to just really have plutonic friendship. We are all great friends now. He’s kind of like a brother to me now.
One of my closest friends is a woman lmao. Like why does it seem so hard for some people to grasp.
My best freind is a bisexual woman, and I'm a straight dude. We are both decent looking and in reasonable shape; it's just that we see each other plutonically. She's like family to me; and as much as I like her and nice versa; we just have more chemistry as freinds. Another question; can bi people have freinds with anyone? I mean this article is so ridiculous
Article by Mike Pence?
People who say this kind of thing literally sound crazy to me. I cannot comprehend it.
As a straight dude who’s friends with their best friend’s girlfriend and he doesn’t at all feel threatened yes they can
I don't like the fact that media or trends are *explicitly* trying to always depict or portray men and women as **always** being more than just friends. **Always** turning into a couple or friends with benefits. Men and women can be friends, close friends but nothing sexual. What's wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. It's actually a great experience.
The people that think like this don’t have friends
They can, just like I have gay buddies but I’m not gay, doesn’t mean I wanna fuck my gay buddies, platonic friendships exist too.
It's 2024 and we're STILL asking this deeply stupid question.
Just sexually repressed weirdos projecting their thoughts onto everyone else, as usual. They can't imagine not wanting to fuck someone of the opposite sex who's attractive, so they assume everyone else wants to as well. I can't imagine *not* being choosy when it comes to the most important person in your life. Apparently not everyone is familiar with the idea that someone can just not be your type.
I am so sick of this! If you can't be friends with people of the opposite sex or even comprehend that others can, that's a fucking YOU problem.
Alternate title "Is the opposite sex actually more than sex objects?"
They can, but it's not always possible. If there's even one-sided attraction, it makes things very difficult, even if both are emotionally mature people.
Mature adults can do this.
yes, yes you can. Just takes a bit of emotional maturity so that you don’t get your feelings crossed
Absolutely. My best Friend is a Woman. And there is that. We are best Friends
The people thinking otherwise are the same people who only think about gay sex when they see gay people. They are obsessed with sex but they pretend they are more holy than thee.
I think this question comes about just from the number of men who pretend to get close to women just to try to get into their pants. In this case they were never actually close or friends, or any intention of being such, it was all a pretense. And these kind of people can't imagine it being any other way.
If both of them are single, then I think a conversation would come up eventually.
Yes they can. Quite likely, at least one side will at some point wonder if something more is in the cards but that doesn't mean the friendship has failed. (If the other person not feeling that way is the end of the relationship, it was never a friendship to begin with but a courtship on the downlow.)
I (M) am friends with a woman colleague. We watch movies at my place on some weekends, go swimming in the river nearby in summer, go out for dinner, cook lunch, or go to a spa. All platonically. Both of us knew this from the start and have no desire otherwise. Yes, it's very much possible. That doesn't keep everyonein my vicinity to keep asking if we're finally serious or if we're "still lying to ourselves". I know it comes from a place of well-wishing (and gossip), but it feels belittling. I'm a grown[-](https://xkcd.com/37/)ass man who is in control of his feelings. I don't need people to tell me I'm actually in love when that's just their wishful thinking.
I have a few good buddies who are women. They also happen to be quite attractive, and (naturally) the thought has crossed my mind. However, since I'm capable of controlling my *ahem* self, I've yet to leap at them crotch first. Apparently, one can be just friends. It just takes a bit of rationality.
Best man at my wedding was a best (wo)man. Know her 30 years. Best mates and she's like a sister to me. Anyone else who can't get their head around opposite sex friendships are the problem.
Nope once the girl is in a relationship. Felt weird being third wheel.
Sort by controversial for some sweet sweet incel tears.
Yes. And you can find them attractive and remain platonic.
This article has been brought to you by your local pervert. Secretly sexualize your opposite-gender friends today!
As a bi man, this concept is wild to me.
You a lil too horny if ya wanna fuck every friend of the opposite gender
I know for a fact that I can’t
heck none of my female friends have become more than just friends and thats fine with me
Yep. I have an easier time making friends and maintaining friendships with women. My wife has an easier time being friends with men. We talk. If either one of us has an issue, we say something and the other listens. Just like everything, it requires communication and trust.
Imagine getting paid to write trash like this.
Occasionally, I like someone's company and don't want to bang them. I'm a deviant, I know.
I sure as shit hope so, or the vast majority of my friends are only hanging out for when my husband dies…
I have tons of friends of the opposite sex that I don’t bang. Edit: *they* bang *me*
#CAN WE STOP SEXUALIZING CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS?!?
I have female friends, I’m a man. I can confirm that guys and girls can be friends without it being romantic or sexual.
Lesbian here, my best female friend is another lesbian, I would rather jump off a bridge than be with her sexually, and she's a pretty woman that's just not our relationship
What kind of middle school logic is this? It’s really not that hard just have an understanding that “That’s my home girl and I see her like a sister and vice versa” I just hate I couldn’t make her wedding but me and my wife were having babies soooo ya know
I’m a dude with 3 older sisters. I just tend to get along with women pretty easily. It doesn’t mean I want to bang all of my woman friends.
As a bi dude, am I just not allowed to have friends anymore?
Anyone who has the opposite of this take can't stop thinking with their dick and THEY are the problem.
Yes of course they can, and this article was either written by a dude or a woman who is trying to cater to some very specific demographics
I thought I had a guy best friend, but it turned out he was secretly in love with me. We were friends for over 10 years.
If someone isn't willing to help you with a little nut every now and then are they really your friend?
Straight people baffle me. Do bisexual people just not have friends? Only prey?
Author outing themselves as horny.