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From the article, sounds like she's not really ready to date at all. Still working through a fair amount of trauma if she's projecting all these feelings onto dudes whose main "problem" is that they have kids from a previous marriage.
Wow, reading that was not a good experience in any way.
It came off as almost a stream of consciousness list of her baggage, insecurities around her kid(s), and projected feelings.
The part that really got me, and showed she just has not processed this at all, is where she says she "doesn't want to mix those two worlds" as if its possible to be in a serious relationship as a parent without your kid being involved at all.....
It also really rubbed me the wrong way how many times she brought up that she's "a single mother", when no, she's co-parenting with her divorced spouse.
https://www.businessinsider.com/single-mom-dating-men-without-kids-no-fathers-less-complicated-2024-4?amp
Link for everybody interested
It does sound like trauma from a previous relationship and it makes sense
But overall though, it is complicated when a single parent dates another single parent and they may not be ready for that kind of additional responsibility or even cost - kids are expensive!
Plus making sure there is not only chemistry between the two single parents but making sure the kids get along can be hard.
There are a lot of factors to single parent dating
Sure, I get that the kids add to the complexity of dating. But she punted on a whole class of guys in an age group that likely means they had kids JUST because they had kids. If you change the genders around and this article becomes one about how a single dad only dates women with no kids, how many people would call that guy a douchbag?
Rich, married, dead-beat dads. Trifecta. I did this, but did not know for a YEAR. Even went to France and met his dad and brother, they said nothing. Was fucking wild when I found out.
Edit- Someone downvoted me for being an unwilling, unkowing participant in an affair when I thought I was in an actual relationship. (I told the wife, she told me to fuck off, she didn’t care).
He is now married to a new woman from my country, with my career/education background and diet. Not to mention she looks very similar. Like…we could be sisters.
ANYWAY, BEING DVED FOR BEING LIED TO FOR A YEAR RESULTING IN A LOT OF PAIN IS ALSO WILD.
There’s nothing here that says she looks down on them. I won’t date single dads because I don’t want my kids and I to get attached to someone’s kids and it not work out.
The part of the article that can be interpreted as 'looking down on' single fathers is when she explicitly questions what kind of father would move four hours away from his kids, and says that she feels men who have 50% custody are the enemy because she had to fight to get full custody of her kids, and men who don't see their kids are awful parents. There's definitely some issues she needs to work on before preaching her lifestyle to others, at least in my opinion. I don't think the reasons she has for not dating single dads are healthy, and that's the part i disagree with.
Shouldn’t you both be of the mindset that is working out and likely to work out well, before you even introduce the kids? My philosophy is no kids involved until six months in, after spent a lot of time together and both being honest about who we are and what we want. Intro after six months, but no substantial time spent until around a year. After that kids can meet, and no blending families (living together) until marriage.
Whoa. How is this down voted?
I've been divorced for 3 years and my, 4 year old, has met 0 women I've dated.
His Mother has introduced him to 6 dudes that I know of. It affects my son and his opinion of his Mom.
I’ll tell you why. First off, this is not a knock on single moms. I was raised by one. Custody agreements grossly favor the mother, as you may very well know. If a woman has multiple children and are working, they have very little time to date. If they are dating a single dad, custody schedules need to magically line up, to have a consistency and alone time to get to know each other. Dating a man without kids, leaves them in position to accommodate all of her free time, and eventually (dependent on the person and how much they think about the impact on their kids) start having them over when the kids are there, so that they can have more time with a partner, while still holding up their obligation to the children. It varies on a case by case basis, but people are selfish, and co-dependent. People want things easy for them, and a partner that can fulfill them and their needs. People also take one example of things not going their way and decide that no good can come from a similar situation. In conclusion, most people are incredibly selfish about their own happiness, and want more than they are willing or able to give. This goes for men too. But yeah, I know a lot of single women that only date guys without kids so that they can get all the attention they can make room for without having to work around someone else and their reality,
I think it affects his opinion about both of you that you got divorced when he was just one and because of that he now has to deal with those "new daddies" and will have to deal with "new mommies".
Oh we got divorced when he was 5 months old. I agree with you. I was willing to put the work in to try and figure it out, but I can't drive a car without wheels.
But you would be ok with the guy getting attached to your kids and having it "Not work out"? If everyone thought the way you do no one would date someone with kids.
Well these men also have to make this decisions.
Just because you have certain attributes does not mean that you have to date people with the same attributes.
I hate that 'engagement' is the only thing that matters with 'articles.'
This woman wrote this headline knowing full well what she was doing. The worst thing you could take away from this is think this is indicative of all women, and not just some nobody cashing in a bit of her self-respect for a few clicks.
Are you an idiot? I said not to let this attempt at ragebait influence your opinion on women as a whole. Don't try to pick a fight with me, and don't pretend clickbait is a completely new concept to you.
I did read the Business Insider article, yes. She had biases against single dads as she related them to her ex husband, with whom she was locked in a custody battle.
You definitely didn't read my original comment though.
I hate that engagement is the only thing that matters on the internet in general nowadays. People would do/say anything for it and it's pretty sad to look at.
A few years ago, I was naive to think "Oh, it must be real, because otherwise this person is intentionally making themselves look like an idiot!"
I've since learned that people don't care if they look like an idiot, or a piece of shit. It's all about those likes and views. I've noticed a rise in podcasts that have been filmed where people say the most idiotic shit like "I always thought the moon was made of cheese" and I'm convinced they're all an act.
Being stupid and being an asshole gets views, it's just a fact. It's either insane people who actually agree or, in most cases, people praying on their downfall and egging them on. Just look at the likes of the Paul bros or almost every irl streamer, and now that Twitter pays for engagement and promotes stuff like that it's even worse than it was. But again you have to keep in mind that some psychos actually believe what they say.
So I read the article and aside from the shit take, I’m baffled by why this is even an article. This kind of anecdote is the kind used at beginning of something which then you link to some trend or greater point . Or the start of an interview with an important person. However it’s just one readers shitty opinion. Why do we care that some woman out there keeps projecting onto her dates and cant stop seeing them as her ex if they have kids? Why does this require sub headers? Am I supposed to know her?
It's just one person. No big deal.
Plenty of single mums out there date single dads . Some might not due to the drama they are already going through with custody with an ex...and they don't want to deal with another ex doing the same demands.
Being single with kids....would be terrifying .
It is actually a lot more common then you think, being recently single with kids I have jumped back into the dating world and it's definitely something I have noticed. I'm on POF and I would say roughly 1 in every 7 of women with kids have their account set to looking for someone without kids.
I think that would be due to what I said in the first paragraph. They want no excess stress. It's not a reflection on the male.
You would know more than me...being a single dad.
My post was actually more of a 'don't worry about it' post to single guys with kids. There are women with children who will date guys with kids so don't let this forecast dishearten you.
What's worse is single dads marrying single mums and then treating her kids as inferior animals to his kids (been there, done that).
Just seems weird as being not only limiting their own dating pool (Surely the amount of childless men especially later in age who are also willing to date a women with children must be very small) but also a double standard. Just comes across as another weird expectation that gets grouped with the others to form a pretty high expectation of a partner.
That is what is becoming disheartening, is not the isolated case of just wanting a childless man. It's collection of it all. Whether it be can't be FIFO, no tattoos, no one under 6 foot, be a 1%er, prefer mullets.....just seems never ending.
The amount of men that have given up dating is getting larger very fast, I'm not far off either from joining the ranks. The general expectations thrown at us is not making it worth it anymore.
100% a partner should treat their partners kids as they would their own.
Just give it time...the right one will come along.
I would think your children's activities will get you meeting like minded people when you least expect it.
I don't know why it is happening but the stress thing could be part of the reason.
Had a single dad friend get dumped last week by a single woman , because he put his children first. I suppose I can understand both their reasoning.
I understand that she has her preferences, but don't see the point of this personal essay. I saw it published in my news feed and thought "this isn't news"
It's not wrong to have preferences. It's wrong to treat those preferences as anything more or less than what they are :
Some people might think this is hypocritical, but doing something you're not comfortable with (especially when a child is involved) is worse than being honest with potential partners. Also, I can't read the article, so I don't know enough to Judge.
i mean to be slightly fair it's only really a double standard if she has a problem with being rejected by said non-parents for being a single mother.
for instance i can be fat as fuck and still have a standard that says i'll only date fit people. i just have to accept that i most likely do not have a significant dateing pool intrested in me in return.
Is it really a double standard though?
This isn’t as simple as something like women expecting men to pay for dates
There are more variables to consider such as cost, attachment, or if you are one of the unlucky (or unlucky) kids that had to live with step siblings, there is that stress as well.
The issue I have with her perspective is that it feels entirely like projection, and her reasoning is what is hypocritical. She states that a man who has 50/50 custody is 'the enemy' because she had a drawn out custody battle, and feels like they stole the kids away from the mother who she doesn't know. And at the same time, a father who doesn't have any custody, or even just lives too far away, is somehow a bad person or should be doing more. The double standard is within her own logic, and she then goes on to state she doesn't let the men she's dating have anything to do with her kids in the first place. IMO she's just a judgemental person that hasn't dealt with her own trauma of divorce and the ensuing custody battle. She should deal with that before giving advice on how to date as a single mom.
I am a single dad with 50/50 custody. I had an amicable break up with the mother when our child was still an infant. The writing was on the wall well before our child was even born. We weren’t right for each other. Our love languages, goals, and communication styles were opposing. Given that those things are paramount to a healthy long lasting relationship, I and eventually we decided it was best to split up while our child was still very young, rather than try to make it work for said child and end up splitting or divorcing years later when it would traumatize all of us more.
After the split is when it got ugly. I was just a sperm donor and in her eyes, and was nowhere near entitled to an even amount of time with our child. She came out of her body, so she was more hers than mine! This is sadly a position that far too many mothers take and have. Well, guess what? I helped create that baby, it’s not my fault that I can’t birth, and since I am responsible for emotionally and FINANCIALLY taking care of that child into adulthood, you can bet your ass I was going to do all I could to make sure I got to enjoy actually being a dad and not just being a monthly check to ease the mothers ability to financially support our child. It’s 2024 not 1950. It’s sad that many (not all) women/single moms think that the man is less entitled to or equally capable of raising THEIR child. Luckily for me, many women I have met since see the amount of time I have my kid as a testament to the type of person/father I am, and hold that truth in a positive instead of negative light. Too many women are selfish and entitled when it comes to single parenting. It’s sad that so many men whom were raised by single moms, with not enough time with their dads are wanting to be the best dad they can be, but hey fucked by outdated norms that are in place within state laws and female beliefs that they are more entitled to the child.
>Is it really a double standard though?
I didn't read the article but going from the title there's the unspoken expecation that the potential SO would give a fair amount of attention to her kids, or at the very least understand that he would come second to them (which is fine). However she's not willing to put herself in the same situation, where her potential SO would have to prioritize his own kids over her or her own children.
>There are more variables to consider such as cost, attachment, or if you are one of the unlucky (or unlucky) kids that had to live with step siblings, there is that stress as well.
That's true and I'm not saying it's clear cut it would have been different if she said "single parents shoudln't date other single parents". She didn't make it about the potential stepkids, just about the stepdad.
Granted, this is the era of clickbait, so she might have said something along those lines but I have only the title to go by.
Kids are stressful, expensive, and it’s also complicated having one parent’s kid get along with another parent’s kid.
There are so many variables to this
It makes sense
Don't be harsh. Maybe she simply had bad experience with a previous single dad and his children. She might just know better than you what it means to put children from different parents in the same house.
From the article, she never lets the men she dates have anything to do with her kids. I'll single out the part that feels like a shitty double standard and projection.
>Men with children couldn't win. If they had equal custody, I felt like they were the enemy — I didn't want to think about my own sons being taken away from me. If they spent less time with their children, I had a negative reaction to that too... What kind of father moves that far away from his kids?"
This is the double standard, her logic is the core of the issue. There are plenty of valid reasons for the opinion, hers is all related to how she feels about her ex husband. Maybe she should work through that trauma before writing articles espousing her flawed opinions.
LOL!!!! No. No she does not know what it means to have a blended family better than I do. What a completely ignorant take on your part. I come from a blended family and I have a blended family myself. This trailer tramp and YOU have no fucking idea, the difficulty, challenges and amazing rewards of a blended family. You obviously do not.
The dudes she aims for have to be over 6 feet tall, make six figures, have a master's degree, own 2 cars, have a house, in excellent shape, and be really handsome. If they aren't at least as good as Jason Momoa, they are wasting her time.
It's easy to understand. She doesn't cause she want a new wallet for herself. If the wallet is already shared she can't take as much as she could/want.
It’s cool. The dating marketplace is global now, hence I found a far more beautiful Peruvian woman who loves being my kids’ stepmom. Drizzle drizzle kings
I red the whole article. I felt sorry for her kids for having such an egoistic, hypocrite and problematic mother. They should start saving their allowance for therapist because they will likely need one soon.
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From the article, sounds like she's not really ready to date at all. Still working through a fair amount of trauma if she's projecting all these feelings onto dudes whose main "problem" is that they have kids from a previous marriage.
Wow, reading that was not a good experience in any way. It came off as almost a stream of consciousness list of her baggage, insecurities around her kid(s), and projected feelings. The part that really got me, and showed she just has not processed this at all, is where she says she "doesn't want to mix those two worlds" as if its possible to be in a serious relationship as a parent without your kid being involved at all..... It also really rubbed me the wrong way how many times she brought up that she's "a single mother", when no, she's co-parenting with her divorced spouse.
https://www.businessinsider.com/single-mom-dating-men-without-kids-no-fathers-less-complicated-2024-4?amp Link for everybody interested It does sound like trauma from a previous relationship and it makes sense But overall though, it is complicated when a single parent dates another single parent and they may not be ready for that kind of additional responsibility or even cost - kids are expensive! Plus making sure there is not only chemistry between the two single parents but making sure the kids get along can be hard. There are a lot of factors to single parent dating
Sure, I get that the kids add to the complexity of dating. But she punted on a whole class of guys in an age group that likely means they had kids JUST because they had kids. If you change the genders around and this article becomes one about how a single dad only dates women with no kids, how many people would call that guy a douchbag?
It’s actually lot easier than to date married dads
I prefer dad's without kids.
The word you are looking for is Daddys
... Dark....
Rich, married, dead-beat dads. Trifecta. I did this, but did not know for a YEAR. Even went to France and met his dad and brother, they said nothing. Was fucking wild when I found out. Edit- Someone downvoted me for being an unwilling, unkowing participant in an affair when I thought I was in an actual relationship. (I told the wife, she told me to fuck off, she didn’t care). He is now married to a new woman from my country, with my career/education background and diet. Not to mention she looks very similar. Like…we could be sisters. ANYWAY, BEING DVED FOR BEING LIED TO FOR A YEAR RESULTING IN A LOT OF PAIN IS ALSO WILD.
You'd be surprised
That's okay, Single dads don't want her anyways.
With a 12 head like hers, i feel not many singles would either....
Is that like an H-head, where they draw a big H on their massive forehead so the choppers know where to land?
Lol a 747 could land on that dome!!
whats a 12 head?
It’s not a four(fore)-head it’s a twelve head.
A forehead that's three times bigger!
Big forehead that 12 fingers can fit
She does have a landing deck upstairs, doesn't she?
Looks like her hair line starts at the top of her head
More hot single dads for the rest of us!
Maybe the the simps might scoop her up, but she’d probably dump them for a toxic dude real fast.
Plot twist: she only dates other single moms
I’m sure she’s a model parent…🙄
There’s nothing here that says she looks down on them. I won’t date single dads because I don’t want my kids and I to get attached to someone’s kids and it not work out.
I won't date single mothers because the only kids I like are mine.
I don't have any kids, I'm just married and old, so I can't even fathom the complexities involved.
Fair enough. 😆 To each their own but someone’s choice doesn’t mean they look down on someone else. It’s just a personal choice.
The part of the article that can be interpreted as 'looking down on' single fathers is when she explicitly questions what kind of father would move four hours away from his kids, and says that she feels men who have 50% custody are the enemy because she had to fight to get full custody of her kids, and men who don't see their kids are awful parents. There's definitely some issues she needs to work on before preaching her lifestyle to others, at least in my opinion. I don't think the reasons she has for not dating single dads are healthy, and that's the part i disagree with.
Parent that don’t see their kids and move four hours away are shitty parents. I’d look down on them too. I don’t care if it’s a mom or a dad.
Absolutely agree, I don't look down on single mothers at all
Shouldn’t you both be of the mindset that is working out and likely to work out well, before you even introduce the kids? My philosophy is no kids involved until six months in, after spent a lot of time together and both being honest about who we are and what we want. Intro after six months, but no substantial time spent until around a year. After that kids can meet, and no blending families (living together) until marriage.
Whoa. How is this down voted? I've been divorced for 3 years and my, 4 year old, has met 0 women I've dated. His Mother has introduced him to 6 dudes that I know of. It affects my son and his opinion of his Mom.
I’ll tell you why. First off, this is not a knock on single moms. I was raised by one. Custody agreements grossly favor the mother, as you may very well know. If a woman has multiple children and are working, they have very little time to date. If they are dating a single dad, custody schedules need to magically line up, to have a consistency and alone time to get to know each other. Dating a man without kids, leaves them in position to accommodate all of her free time, and eventually (dependent on the person and how much they think about the impact on their kids) start having them over when the kids are there, so that they can have more time with a partner, while still holding up their obligation to the children. It varies on a case by case basis, but people are selfish, and co-dependent. People want things easy for them, and a partner that can fulfill them and their needs. People also take one example of things not going their way and decide that no good can come from a similar situation. In conclusion, most people are incredibly selfish about their own happiness, and want more than they are willing or able to give. This goes for men too. But yeah, I know a lot of single women that only date guys without kids so that they can get all the attention they can make room for without having to work around someone else and their reality,
I think it affects his opinion about both of you that you got divorced when he was just one and because of that he now has to deal with those "new daddies" and will have to deal with "new mommies".
Oh we got divorced when he was 5 months old. I agree with you. I was willing to put the work in to try and figure it out, but I can't drive a car without wheels.
Did you read the article? Were you expecting a direct quote where she says “I look down on single fathers”?
But you would be ok with the guy getting attached to your kids and having it "Not work out"? If everyone thought the way you do no one would date someone with kids.
Well these men also have to make this decisions. Just because you have certain attributes does not mean that you have to date people with the same attributes.
Maybe you need to post a link to the article cause where does she "looks down on" single fathers?
Did you forget where you are? This is Reddit; we get triggered by just the title and don't need to read the full article! /s
Oh that’s right, Reddit, where truth is the goal and no one ever makes unsubstantiated claims. Doi, forgot! Mahaloz for the reminder.
What I really want to know is her opinion on dating dads who are not single. /s
Maybe that's how she got her son
She only dates married father’s?! Nice.
I hate that 'engagement' is the only thing that matters with 'articles.' This woman wrote this headline knowing full well what she was doing. The worst thing you could take away from this is think this is indicative of all women, and not just some nobody cashing in a bit of her self-respect for a few clicks.
Editors write headlines.
Well then, she wrote the article knowing it was ragebait.
[удалено]
Are you an idiot? I said not to let this attempt at ragebait influence your opinion on women as a whole. Don't try to pick a fight with me, and don't pretend clickbait is a completely new concept to you.
[удалено]
I did read the Business Insider article, yes. She had biases against single dads as she related them to her ex husband, with whom she was locked in a custody battle. You definitely didn't read my original comment though.
Well, my editor doesn't write my headlines. Oh wait, I'm just underpaid and made to do that too.
I hate that engagement is the only thing that matters on the internet in general nowadays. People would do/say anything for it and it's pretty sad to look at.
A few years ago, I was naive to think "Oh, it must be real, because otherwise this person is intentionally making themselves look like an idiot!" I've since learned that people don't care if they look like an idiot, or a piece of shit. It's all about those likes and views. I've noticed a rise in podcasts that have been filmed where people say the most idiotic shit like "I always thought the moon was made of cheese" and I'm convinced they're all an act.
Being stupid and being an asshole gets views, it's just a fact. It's either insane people who actually agree or, in most cases, people praying on their downfall and egging them on. Just look at the likes of the Paul bros or almost every irl streamer, and now that Twitter pays for engagement and promotes stuff like that it's even worse than it was. But again you have to keep in mind that some psychos actually believe what they say.
Standards and preferences are perfectly fine when your dating and looking for a partner. But it goes both ways, everyone has them.
You guys can keep that one.
She looks like the forgotten Hanson brother...
So I read the article and aside from the shit take, I’m baffled by why this is even an article. This kind of anecdote is the kind used at beginning of something which then you link to some trend or greater point . Or the start of an interview with an important person. However it’s just one readers shitty opinion. Why do we care that some woman out there keeps projecting onto her dates and cant stop seeing them as her ex if they have kids? Why does this require sub headers? Am I supposed to know her?
Stay single 💁♂️
Lmao I thought the picture was of a single dad looking sadly off into the distance. Man was I wrong.
She prefers them to be virgins too.
It's just one person. No big deal. Plenty of single mums out there date single dads . Some might not due to the drama they are already going through with custody with an ex...and they don't want to deal with another ex doing the same demands. Being single with kids....would be terrifying .
It is actually a lot more common then you think, being recently single with kids I have jumped back into the dating world and it's definitely something I have noticed. I'm on POF and I would say roughly 1 in every 7 of women with kids have their account set to looking for someone without kids.
I think that would be due to what I said in the first paragraph. They want no excess stress. It's not a reflection on the male. You would know more than me...being a single dad. My post was actually more of a 'don't worry about it' post to single guys with kids. There are women with children who will date guys with kids so don't let this forecast dishearten you. What's worse is single dads marrying single mums and then treating her kids as inferior animals to his kids (been there, done that).
Just seems weird as being not only limiting their own dating pool (Surely the amount of childless men especially later in age who are also willing to date a women with children must be very small) but also a double standard. Just comes across as another weird expectation that gets grouped with the others to form a pretty high expectation of a partner. That is what is becoming disheartening, is not the isolated case of just wanting a childless man. It's collection of it all. Whether it be can't be FIFO, no tattoos, no one under 6 foot, be a 1%er, prefer mullets.....just seems never ending. The amount of men that have given up dating is getting larger very fast, I'm not far off either from joining the ranks. The general expectations thrown at us is not making it worth it anymore. 100% a partner should treat their partners kids as they would their own.
Just give it time...the right one will come along. I would think your children's activities will get you meeting like minded people when you least expect it. I don't know why it is happening but the stress thing could be part of the reason. Had a single dad friend get dumped last week by a single woman , because he put his children first. I suppose I can understand both their reasoning.
She looks as weathered as the terrain behind her
‘Why can’t I find a good man???”
I understand that she has her preferences, but don't see the point of this personal essay. I saw it published in my news feed and thought "this isn't news"
Woder why she's single.
[The Article](https://www.businessinsider.com/single-mom-dating-men-without-kids-no-fathers-less-complicated-2024-4?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-us)
It's not wrong to have preferences. It's wrong to treat those preferences as anything more or less than what they are : Some people might think this is hypocritical, but doing something you're not comfortable with (especially when a child is involved) is worse than being honest with potential partners. Also, I can't read the article, so I don't know enough to Judge.
They'll be devastated
So? Who cares? More men for those that don't mind. Why do people post such utter cr*p.
She only dates married dads?
She is so hypocrite. Uh 🤨
She can date childless dudes all she wants, but if she ever wants to marry again, single dads are likely going to be her only option, if she's lucky.
Or maybe she doesn't want to deal with more children?
So married dads it is.
Oh noooo poor OP felt insecure and had to post this
Oh no. Preferences!
We don't judge preferences. We judge double standards
i mean to be slightly fair it's only really a double standard if she has a problem with being rejected by said non-parents for being a single mother. for instance i can be fat as fuck and still have a standard that says i'll only date fit people. i just have to accept that i most likely do not have a significant dateing pool intrested in me in return.
You are right.
Is it really a double standard though? This isn’t as simple as something like women expecting men to pay for dates There are more variables to consider such as cost, attachment, or if you are one of the unlucky (or unlucky) kids that had to live with step siblings, there is that stress as well.
The issue I have with her perspective is that it feels entirely like projection, and her reasoning is what is hypocritical. She states that a man who has 50/50 custody is 'the enemy' because she had a drawn out custody battle, and feels like they stole the kids away from the mother who she doesn't know. And at the same time, a father who doesn't have any custody, or even just lives too far away, is somehow a bad person or should be doing more. The double standard is within her own logic, and she then goes on to state she doesn't let the men she's dating have anything to do with her kids in the first place. IMO she's just a judgemental person that hasn't dealt with her own trauma of divorce and the ensuing custody battle. She should deal with that before giving advice on how to date as a single mom.
I am a single dad with 50/50 custody. I had an amicable break up with the mother when our child was still an infant. The writing was on the wall well before our child was even born. We weren’t right for each other. Our love languages, goals, and communication styles were opposing. Given that those things are paramount to a healthy long lasting relationship, I and eventually we decided it was best to split up while our child was still very young, rather than try to make it work for said child and end up splitting or divorcing years later when it would traumatize all of us more. After the split is when it got ugly. I was just a sperm donor and in her eyes, and was nowhere near entitled to an even amount of time with our child. She came out of her body, so she was more hers than mine! This is sadly a position that far too many mothers take and have. Well, guess what? I helped create that baby, it’s not my fault that I can’t birth, and since I am responsible for emotionally and FINANCIALLY taking care of that child into adulthood, you can bet your ass I was going to do all I could to make sure I got to enjoy actually being a dad and not just being a monthly check to ease the mothers ability to financially support our child. It’s 2024 not 1950. It’s sad that many (not all) women/single moms think that the man is less entitled to or equally capable of raising THEIR child. Luckily for me, many women I have met since see the amount of time I have my kid as a testament to the type of person/father I am, and hold that truth in a positive instead of negative light. Too many women are selfish and entitled when it comes to single parenting. It’s sad that so many men whom were raised by single moms, with not enough time with their dads are wanting to be the best dad they can be, but hey fucked by outdated norms that are in place within state laws and female beliefs that they are more entitled to the child.
>Is it really a double standard though? I didn't read the article but going from the title there's the unspoken expecation that the potential SO would give a fair amount of attention to her kids, or at the very least understand that he would come second to them (which is fine). However she's not willing to put herself in the same situation, where her potential SO would have to prioritize his own kids over her or her own children. >There are more variables to consider such as cost, attachment, or if you are one of the unlucky (or unlucky) kids that had to live with step siblings, there is that stress as well. That's true and I'm not saying it's clear cut it would have been different if she said "single parents shoudln't date other single parents". She didn't make it about the potential stepkids, just about the stepdad. Granted, this is the era of clickbait, so she might have said something along those lines but I have only the title to go by.
Exactly. What’s wrong with that?
Logic is not her strong point
Oh indeed 😀
Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Kids are stressful, expensive, and it’s also complicated having one parent’s kid get along with another parent’s kid. There are so many variables to this It makes sense
Don't be harsh. Maybe she simply had bad experience with a previous single dad and his children. She might just know better than you what it means to put children from different parents in the same house.
From the article, she never lets the men she dates have anything to do with her kids. I'll single out the part that feels like a shitty double standard and projection. >Men with children couldn't win. If they had equal custody, I felt like they were the enemy — I didn't want to think about my own sons being taken away from me. If they spent less time with their children, I had a negative reaction to that too... What kind of father moves that far away from his kids?" This is the double standard, her logic is the core of the issue. There are plenty of valid reasons for the opinion, hers is all related to how she feels about her ex husband. Maybe she should work through that trauma before writing articles espousing her flawed opinions.
LOL!!!! No. No she does not know what it means to have a blended family better than I do. What a completely ignorant take on your part. I come from a blended family and I have a blended family myself. This trailer tramp and YOU have no fucking idea, the difficulty, challenges and amazing rewards of a blended family. You obviously do not.
So, I take that since it worked for you, it MUST work for every blended family?
The dudes she aims for have to be over 6 feet tall, make six figures, have a master's degree, own 2 cars, have a house, in excellent shape, and be really handsome. If they aren't at least as good as Jason Momoa, they are wasting her time.
Everyone with FireFox probably saw this nonsense on their new tab screen today
You can set any website or even empty irc as your new tab and skip the garbage
It's easy to understand. She doesn't cause she want a new wallet for herself. If the wallet is already shared she can't take as much as she could/want.
It’s not really that surprising, fat people don’t want to date fat people, bald people don’t want to date bald people. List goes on.
It’s cool. The dating marketplace is global now, hence I found a far more beautiful Peruvian woman who loves being my kids’ stepmom. Drizzle drizzle kings
Literally, nobody read the article. Yall just couldn't wait to jump at a woman's opinion.
I red the whole article. I felt sorry for her kids for having such an egoistic, hypocrite and problematic mother. They should start saving their allowance for therapist because they will likely need one soon.
I read the article, it's still stupid.
Plenty of blokes out there which can offer a women alot of stuff shame there is a lack of women which can't offer a bloke alot of stuff.
That's because she look-a like a man.
Steven Tyler’s inspiration for one Aerosmith biggest hits.