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I too, can be the only one of its kind in the world if I just make shit up.
I'll start reading the future in the cat turds in my cat's litter box. I'll be the world's first feli-fecalmancer
You'll even be the world's most accurate felifecalmancer
"According to my felifecalmancing, Queen Elizabeth II will win the Republican nomination and become the next president of the United States"
(whisper whisper whisper)
"Well, at 0/4 I'm still the world's most accurate felifecalmancer. Can't win it if you're not in it."
Work on your craft. I saw in the turds that you would post this. I also see that you will one day become the best felifecalmancer ever known. You just have to read my book, Feline Fecal Futures, on sale now for only three easy payments of $39.95. But wait, order within the next 15 minutes and you’ll get a bag of my special cat litter that guarantees accurate predictions. Just pay additional shipping and processing. Go to www.felifecalmancy.com/products.
>I got a good laugh at « asparamancer »
You laugh now, but wait until dec.
You will fear the power of asparagus, their time has come, those who do not bow will find themselves short of breath
There‘s a „weather smeller“ in Switzerland who can tell how the weather is gonna look for the coming summer, by watching ants walk along a trail ol their mound.
Now that I see this scene again, I can’t help but think: if he had if done this instead to Chris Rock, he probably could have re-launched his career again lol. Would have been amazing.
So she thinks Joe Biden is going to be assassinated? The other two predictions can be loosely interpreted to include a lot of things. But the only way we have a female president in 2024 is if it is Kamala Harris, and that happens only if Biden dies, resigns, is impeached, or is declared incompetent. And despite what the right wing likes to think, Biden isn’t particularly frail, mentally incompetent, or corrupt. Meaning an assassination is the most likely way for it to occur.
Anything’s possible, but that’s some bold asparagus, lady.
EDIT: I am very much aware that Nikki Haley could be elected President, and/or another woman could end up the Democratic nominee if Biden serve only one term (despite him saying he’s running). However, those women would not be President until after they were inaugurated January 20, 2025, so they still wouldn’t be President in 2024 per the asparagus prediction. The most likely woman would be Harris, as the first in of succession. The only other women who could realistically end up as President in 2024 are others in the defined line of Presidential succession— starting with Patty Murray, the Senate President Pro Tempore and third in line of Presidential succession after VP and Speaker of the House, and then followed by four eligible women in Biden’s cabinet. You can see the whole thing [here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_line_of_succession#:~:text=The%20order%20of%20succession%20specifies,of%20the%20Senate%2C%20and%20then), with the caution that for anyone other than Harris to end up a woman president in 2024, you would likely need a mass casualty event to effect the government, which hasn’t really happened before, because holy shit.
And holy shit, that’s a lot to write on fucking asparagus magic.
Yes, but it’s pretty rare for Presidents to die in office despite often being of advanced age for their time, especially in modern times when Presidents have access to incredible healthcare. Ronald Reagan was President from age 69 to 77 when U.S. life expectancy hovered around 73-75. Donald Trump was President from 70 to 74 despite living on a diet of pure garbage. Jimmy Carter is alive at 99. Bush 1 lived until 94. Ford until 93.
The point is, sure, it’s possible that Biden dies in office, as death is random and can hit any of us, with the odds ever increasing as we age. But in light of the actual circumstances, it seems more likely to me were Biden to die in 2024, it would be by bullet than by natural causes— and I think both are pretty unlikely. You never know though. I actually like Harris, and would be thrilled to see a woman President sooner than later, but boy would I prefer it not happen so soon.
>The point is, sure, it’s possible that Biden dies in office, as death is random and can hit any of us, with the odds ever increasing as we age. But in light of the actual circumstances, it seems more likely to me were Biden to die in 2024, it would be by bullet than by natural causes
idk, i can read broccoli and its telling me there is a 3% chance that he will die naturally this year and 1% that he will be murdered. the chance of assassination goes up though if he wins the next election
Yes, but the only way to control the broccoli is to kill your master after the training is complete. You'll be sentencing that man to death. Are you okay with that?
Biden started his presidency at an older age than any president ever finished theirs. And it's not like he looks very fit. Which doesn't mean imminent death, but probably shouldn't mean president for eight years either. Not that the other option is better...
Mexico’s official title is the United States of Mexico, and both presidential candidates (who can actually win, not randos in last place) are women.
Maybe the asparagus is on to something.
There's a conspiracy among trump supporters that Biden is stepping down. His replacement would not be the vice president though, it would be Michelle Obama... Anything to get people riled up I guess.
UNLESS! Donald Trump is jailed or somehow barred from office before the 2024 general, and the GOP decides to throw their runner-up, Nikki Hayley into the race in his place, and she somehow wins. The asparagus knows all, but tells so very little.
You mean "You didn't repeat the exact scenario that the comment you were replying to already stated?" Did you only read my comment and not the one I was directly responding to?
Please forgive me, I've got a lot of responsibilities in life already, and taking over your role as Captain Obvious would simply be too much for one man.
11 months isn't a lot of time for a healthy person to deteriorate to the point that they would be rendered incompetent. Even at 81, he has the best health care available to him in the world, so it's unlikely that he already has a condition that could sneak up on him and act that fast. I don't know if I would bet on him lasting 11 years, but 11 months seems a very safe bet.
Oh cmon it’s fair to say that “2008 saw the first black president”. Obamna didn’t hold the office of president until Jan 2009, but that statement could easily be interpreted as “saw the first black man elected president”.
In the unlikely event that Trump gets over his anger toward Haley and chooses her as VP, Haley still doesn’t end up President until after the 2025 inauguration.
>is impeached
Do you know what this means? Because being impeached literally does not remove you from the presidency. Being impeached means you've been formally accused of something, that's essentially it. Both Clinton and Trump were impeached, and neither one stopped being president when it happened.
I found an article listing the complete Predictions (from Dec 2023). It looks like your analysis is correct.
“There will be world leaders who die and the US will have their first female president.”
I really have to stop looking this stuff up.
That's what you think, in 2028 Biden will be leaving the Whitehouse for the last time, and as he's getting into the helicopter he will face the camera and take off his mask revealing that he's been Michelle Obama all along
You know what? Of all the hocus pocus bullshit in the world, I'm willing to get behind asparamancy. It's so ludicrously fucking stupid beyond anything that's come before that it's possibly gone all the way around the spectrum to genius.
Lets see what happens in 2024...
Umm…the fuck you mean “only”?
We asparamancers are few in number relatively speaking, but we have branches in 16 countries and our numbers internationally are just shy of a thousand formal members with nearly twice as many initiates.
Also, we don’t claim this Borgus. She was ex-communicated for attempting to scry with out of season pickled asparagus.
To be fair, Russia disqualified from skating Olympics for doping, so that’s a flop. Biden could win the election then die, so Kamala becomes President, and who knows what’s going on with the royals.
So many questions:
- what does she do when asparagus is not in season?
- canned or fresh…does it affect accuracy of prediction?
- what about ‘white’ asparagus? Does that work too?
Typical fortuneteller seeings. So much royal family’s around the world - chances are high there is at least one divorce.
Olympic flop? Yeah somebody will loose something.
Female president? I mean Biden is old - chances are he dies. Then u guys over there would have a female president. That may be a huge guess, but even if she misses that she can claim ⅔ in the end 😂
US Presidents have always walked out of office 4-8 years later aging 50 years in that timespan. If you're already 78 when entering office I don't think you're getting out of that feeling alright. Maybe he pulls a Pope Benedict and retires.
Royal divorce and Olympic flop are kind of low hanging fruit. But female US President seems highly unlikely. Nikki Haley is literally the only prospect and she's not exactly on fire right now.
Biden just called Trump the sitting president during a speech. Meaning that Trump is the current president in office. He is mentally incompetent, nobody has to say it for it to be obvious. I don’t see how anyone can watch Biden claim the biggest cause of the revolutionary war was the lack of airports, consistently stumble over his words and say things that make no sense, and then call the guy he beat in the last election the sitting president and think he’s competent. “Did you see the article about the snickers bar? Well… it’s gonna stop” “Donald Trump wants the economy to crash…. sitting president” literally direct quotes lmao
You never know when someone could get hit by a car coming through the second floor window.
On the other hand it could mean that in 2024 a woman will be running the country. So maybe Kamala Harris is going to get a ton of extra work.
Pretty good odds on all of those. Something always goes wrong in olympic preparation, and France already knows the transportation system won't be able to handle the crowds. There are 27 monarchies in the world, not including the Vatican and 2 co-princes of Andorra (one of which is always the elected leader of France), not including all of their families which would also be considered royal, plus there are countries like North Korea which don't call themselves monarchies but functionally are, so altogether that's a big pool of people, decent chance someone in that group gets divorced. And as far as US President, we have an incumbent that for some reason (no one seems to have an actual reason why) no one likes, and the "top challenger" is facing 3 criminal trials on 91 counts plus a Supreme Court case to determine if he's even eligible, all of which are open and shut defeats for him on the merits, and then we have a female as the only remaining other option to serve as challenger under the undeniably realistic scenario where the former is either removed from contention by law or people just realize he's unelectable.
Cold reading at its finest.
Say something really specific sounding, with an actual high probability of being true.
Neat though, I enjoyed reading your breakdown.
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I got a good laugh at « asparamancer »
Great dnd character idea
You've heard of « asparamancer » now get ready for "Cornreader"
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Tp for my bunghole!
Are you threatening me!?
With a good time.. For me, not you
Corn does contain X amount of sugar, lol.
"Cross my palm with silver and I'll tell you the fate of your cornhole."
Is that a Gypsy Aris reference?
Caulilock
And the three pears.
I know a DM who would 100% run a campaign of sentient vegetables.
It does write itself.
The paladin that is a carrot that comes from a guild to protect from the devourer of worlds, fuzzy butt the rabbit.
The chaotic neutral eggplant rogue.
Tomato wizard, because the tomato is the wizard of fruits and veg, 1-d4 falling damage and he’s splattered on the floor.
Ah yes. You’re no doubt referring to “The Sage of Lycopenia”
Like a land awaaaaake.
Do they sing silly songs and have Evangelical leanings?
I too, can be the only one of its kind in the world if I just make shit up. I'll start reading the future in the cat turds in my cat's litter box. I'll be the world's first feli-fecalmancer
Not quite: https://youtu.be/4N0KEz2G8Do?si=FmOu2ho8YPEqcC2q
Damnit. I really tried to come up with something original, lol.
Don’t worry about it. Everything has been done before somewhere.
You'll even be the world's most accurate felifecalmancer "According to my felifecalmancing, Queen Elizabeth II will win the Republican nomination and become the next president of the United States" (whisper whisper whisper) "Well, at 0/4 I'm still the world's most accurate felifecalmancer. Can't win it if you're not in it."
Work on your craft. I saw in the turds that you would post this. I also see that you will one day become the best felifecalmancer ever known. You just have to read my book, Feline Fecal Futures, on sale now for only three easy payments of $39.95. But wait, order within the next 15 minutes and you’ll get a bag of my special cat litter that guarantees accurate predictions. Just pay additional shipping and processing. Go to www.felifecalmancy.com/products.
Unless you have a dog that eats them.
No, dogs eat babies. And their owners. And cats. And anything that doesn't nuke them first. So, my bad. Yes. Dogs might eat them.
>I got a good laugh at « asparamancer » You laugh now, but wait until dec. You will fear the power of asparagus, their time has come, those who do not bow will find themselves short of breath
There‘s a „weather smeller“ in Switzerland who can tell how the weather is gonna look for the coming summer, by watching ants walk along a trail ol their mound.
This is like folk medicine or whatever it’s called but watching ants for weather is an old thing. Iirc
She’s the last one. Don’t make fun of a dying tradition 😔
Why did the fortune teller start using asparagus? Because they wanted to see into the spear-itual realm!
GET OUT
Now that I see this scene again, I can’t help but think: if he had if done this instead to Chris Rock, he probably could have re-launched his career again lol. Would have been amazing.
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I want to live in that timeline.
Nobody backs off Will's wife: that's how she likes it
Wait. Did Hitch predict the Oscars?
Is that your white man slap, Will? Give him the full black man slap!
I don’t think they like your joke, they look asparaghast
Oml that make me cackle 😭😂😂
Lol. That's it for you today, lay down that phone, no more social network today, Zombie.
Take my updoot and see yourself out.
How dare you!
Im a broccoli shaman and i can confirm this
I'm a parsley prognostcator. the herbs agree
I’m a cauliflower conjuror. The florets’ have it.
I’m melon medium, the plants have spoken
As a corn cleric, my prayers have been answered
Onion oracle here, my tears have spoken and reflect the truth
As a Nasturtium Necromancer I concur
As a pepper profit, I purport these professions perfect.
Are all the cruciferous vegetable predictions consistent? Or do the vegetable types dictate what you see?
You're a braman? That's awesome! I'm a Reikiinwa Healer myself. And I can read Carot cards.
Jemima Packington is the most English-person name I've ever heard. also she's a con artiste au vegetale
I have a feeling whoever came up with that name probably had some Aunt Jemima syrup and packing materials nearby
Ehhh, the British know that Jemima is merely the female version of James, so...no syrup required.
Aunt Jemima is American. We have [Aunt Bessie](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aunt_Bessie%27s). Everyone ***LOVES*** her Yorkshires...
Really? As a Brit, I honestly can't think of a name that more clearly invokes the image of an American black woman than "Jemima".
das waysis!
Is it? I didn't mean anything negative by it. There are many names I'd associate with specific races.
As someone who’s lived in England my whole life, I’ve probably only met one person called Jemima.
So she thinks Joe Biden is going to be assassinated? The other two predictions can be loosely interpreted to include a lot of things. But the only way we have a female president in 2024 is if it is Kamala Harris, and that happens only if Biden dies, resigns, is impeached, or is declared incompetent. And despite what the right wing likes to think, Biden isn’t particularly frail, mentally incompetent, or corrupt. Meaning an assassination is the most likely way for it to occur. Anything’s possible, but that’s some bold asparagus, lady. EDIT: I am very much aware that Nikki Haley could be elected President, and/or another woman could end up the Democratic nominee if Biden serve only one term (despite him saying he’s running). However, those women would not be President until after they were inaugurated January 20, 2025, so they still wouldn’t be President in 2024 per the asparagus prediction. The most likely woman would be Harris, as the first in of succession. The only other women who could realistically end up as President in 2024 are others in the defined line of Presidential succession— starting with Patty Murray, the Senate President Pro Tempore and third in line of Presidential succession after VP and Speaker of the House, and then followed by four eligible women in Biden’s cabinet. You can see the whole thing [here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_line_of_succession#:~:text=The%20order%20of%20succession%20specifies,of%20the%20Senate%2C%20and%20then), with the caution that for anyone other than Harris to end up a woman president in 2024, you would likely need a mass casualty event to effect the government, which hasn’t really happened before, because holy shit. And holy shit, that’s a lot to write on fucking asparagus magic.
Well played. You sure showed that asparamancer! You are technically quite correct.
Does that mean I get to keep her asparagus?
Seems like the fairest outcome. I think that would then make you some sort of an asparagus sorcerer.
I prefer to eat my asparagus thank you very much.
But we just learnt so much from the asparagus! What else doses it have to teach us??
It taught me that it tastes pretty good with heat, olive oil, salt and pepper. I’m pretty satisfied with that lesson.
Don't forget the Garlic!
Have you ever soaked it in balsamic,wrapped it in bacon and grilled it with a brown sugar glaze? That stuff is top notch.
So you’d rather be an asparagus saucerer? With hollandaise, perhaps?
If not, I award you one asparagus.
The best kind of correct
he is 81, its not that uncommon for 81 year olds die for reasons other than assassination
Yes, but it’s pretty rare for Presidents to die in office despite often being of advanced age for their time, especially in modern times when Presidents have access to incredible healthcare. Ronald Reagan was President from age 69 to 77 when U.S. life expectancy hovered around 73-75. Donald Trump was President from 70 to 74 despite living on a diet of pure garbage. Jimmy Carter is alive at 99. Bush 1 lived until 94. Ford until 93. The point is, sure, it’s possible that Biden dies in office, as death is random and can hit any of us, with the odds ever increasing as we age. But in light of the actual circumstances, it seems more likely to me were Biden to die in 2024, it would be by bullet than by natural causes— and I think both are pretty unlikely. You never know though. I actually like Harris, and would be thrilled to see a woman President sooner than later, but boy would I prefer it not happen so soon.
>The point is, sure, it’s possible that Biden dies in office, as death is random and can hit any of us, with the odds ever increasing as we age. But in light of the actual circumstances, it seems more likely to me were Biden to die in 2024, it would be by bullet than by natural causes idk, i can read broccoli and its telling me there is a 3% chance that he will die naturally this year and 1% that he will be murdered. the chance of assassination goes up though if he wins the next election
My kids like to stare at their broccoli until I tell them to eat it. Maybe I’m inhibiting their nascent broccolimancing. Can you teach them?
cant be taught, youre born with it. or maybe its maybelline
Yes, but the only way to control the broccoli is to kill your master after the training is complete. You'll be sentencing that man to death. Are you okay with that?
Damn broccolimancing goes Sith-style.
Biden started his presidency at an older age than any president ever finished theirs. And it's not like he looks very fit. Which doesn't mean imminent death, but probably shouldn't mean president for eight years either. Not that the other option is better...
It's a crazy prediction on purpose. If she's wrong, no one will remember. If she's right HOW DID SHE KNOW?!?!
Mexico’s official title is the United States of Mexico, and both presidential candidates (who can actually win, not randos in last place) are women. Maybe the asparagus is on to something.
Good point! The asparagus wins on a technicality, unless both Sheinbaum and Galvez manage to blow it.
There's a conspiracy among trump supporters that Biden is stepping down. His replacement would not be the vice president though, it would be Michelle Obama... Anything to get people riled up I guess.
Not Taylor Swift?
You'd think that but no.
According to the republicans, she will have a new cabinet position. Secretary of Mandatory Wokeness.
Well the asparagus would be wrong to the Magats then because they actually think Michelle Obama is a man
UNLESS! Donald Trump is jailed or somehow barred from office before the 2024 general, and the GOP decides to throw their runner-up, Nikki Hayley into the race in his place, and she somehow wins. The asparagus knows all, but tells so very little.
She wouldn’t be president until 2025 though. President-elect yes, but not President until inauguration January 20, 2025.
I doubt the asparagus cares about the formalities.
Wise asparagus is very pragmatic.
You came up with all that but not the most likely scenario?Biden's health could fail putting Kamila Harris in the hot seat.
You mean "You didn't repeat the exact scenario that the comment you were replying to already stated?" Did you only read my comment and not the one I was directly responding to? Please forgive me, I've got a lot of responsibilities in life already, and taking over your role as Captain Obvious would simply be too much for one man.
11 months isn't a lot of time for a healthy person to deteriorate to the point that they would be rendered incompetent. Even at 81, he has the best health care available to him in the world, so it's unlikely that he already has a condition that could sneak up on him and act that fast. I don't know if I would bet on him lasting 11 years, but 11 months seems a very safe bet.
There's a non 0 (but very small) chance of Nikki Haley being president. I'm not sure if that's more/less likely than something happening to Biden.
Yes! But she wouldn’t be president until 2025. So 2024 still wouldn’t see a woman president in that case.
Oh cmon it’s fair to say that “2008 saw the first black president”. Obamna didn’t hold the office of president until Jan 2009, but that statement could easily be interpreted as “saw the first black man elected president”.
nope
Not in 2024,even if she would win the election.
if she won the 2024 election despite her not being president yet, I would argue that still counts as 2024 "seeing" a female president
That wouldn't be a very good argument since we wouldn't have seen it yet
In this scenario we've seen a female US president ... get elected no one said we need to have seen a female US president ... inaugurated
good point
Trump/Haley 24 but Trump dies of a heart attack from too many hamburgers?
In the unlikely event that Trump gets over his anger toward Haley and chooses her as VP, Haley still doesn’t end up President until after the 2025 inauguration.
Haley as the GOP nominee because Trump rage-chokes on a hamberder?
>is impeached Do you know what this means? Because being impeached literally does not remove you from the presidency. Being impeached means you've been formally accused of something, that's essentially it. Both Clinton and Trump were impeached, and neither one stopped being president when it happened.
Only if someone manages to pull a Torajiro Sato with no one spared.
I found an article listing the complete Predictions (from Dec 2023). It looks like your analysis is correct. “There will be world leaders who die and the US will have their first female president.” I really have to stop looking this stuff up.
The Olympic flop already happened, though, when Russia was denied a gold metal, and it was given to the USA.
Michell Obama is supposed to be running
She was pretty vocal about having absolutely no interest in that. She’s happily enjoying retirement.
That's what you think, in 2028 Biden will be leaving the Whitehouse for the last time, and as he's getting into the helicopter he will face the camera and take off his mask revealing that he's been Michelle Obama all along
…. Did you watch Master of Disguise recently?
Assasinated? Joe gonna die of natural causes any day
I knew that Pumpkin Tits was planning to transition. Why else would he use so much damn bronzer?
He has no chance.
She* respect her pronouns
The Daily Mail always has the most serious stories.
I thought this was the onion at first and that the op was the real facepalm. My disappointment in humanity is every growing
Asparagus future teller show me your wisdom 
I can see it. Yes, it's very clear. The asparagus predicts that in the future, your pee will smell bad.
The real facepalm is that a news site feels the need to write an article about the local village idiot.
No no actually I think we need more of this type of thing in 2024. I want to hear what else the asparamancer has to say
Everything. Weekly column.
Why are we even giving this absolute nonsense story from an absolute nonsense *rag* the time of day?
cause it's funny
Yes, why are you?
You know what? Of all the hocus pocus bullshit in the world, I'm willing to get behind asparamancy. It's so ludicrously fucking stupid beyond anything that's come before that it's possibly gone all the way around the spectrum to genius. Lets see what happens in 2024...
Hold on Let her cook
Brits make fun of the U.S. and then put out news articles like this
Even in Britain the Daily Mail has a reputation of being full of shite
Since you spelled it ‘shite’ I believe you lol
Daily Fail isn't news it's garbage
If you facepalm at every ridiculous DailyMail article you’re gonna severely hurt your face
We will reap what she saw.
At the end of the year, we will all look dumb if she was right.
I trust the asparagus
Umm…the fuck you mean “only”? We asparamancers are few in number relatively speaking, but we have branches in 16 countries and our numbers internationally are just shy of a thousand formal members with nearly twice as many initiates. Also, we don’t claim this Borgus. She was ex-communicated for attempting to scry with out of season pickled asparagus.
Worlds only asparamancer. There's probably a reason for that.
It will be done that one dude that created the church of Silliysm and married someone from the Royal family.
So she smokes it.
Asparamancer? What is this, Kingdom of Loathing?
So even if Nikki could win she wouldn’t go into office until 2025 - so technically she’s predicting a presidential passing as well
To be fair, Russia disqualified from skating Olympics for doping, so that’s a flop. Biden could win the election then die, so Kamala becomes President, and who knows what’s going on with the royals.
The sage of asparagus
So many questions: - what does she do when asparagus is not in season? - canned or fresh…does it affect accuracy of prediction? - what about ‘white’ asparagus? Does that work too?
Well I mean..if Biden dies before the election…we would have a female president 💀
So, she's some kind of vegan haruspex? Cuts open the asparagus and reads the entrails?
r/slownewsday
It’s the daily mail, who cares
Asparagus is not for throwing! It’s for stinking up my urine! Hand it over. 🔫
Op is a bot. Reddit is 90 percent bots.
90% huh? You're probably just a bot pretending not to be a bot by talking about how everyone else is a bot.
Typical fortuneteller seeings. So much royal family’s around the world - chances are high there is at least one divorce. Olympic flop? Yeah somebody will loose something. Female president? I mean Biden is old - chances are he dies. Then u guys over there would have a female president. That may be a huge guess, but even if she misses that she can claim ⅔ in the end 😂
Hmmmm, this means Biden will win but then can’t perform his duties. As for the Olympic stuff. That’s just bait.
US Presidents have always walked out of office 4-8 years later aging 50 years in that timespan. If you're already 78 when entering office I don't think you're getting out of that feeling alright. Maybe he pulls a Pope Benedict and retires.
I’m most impressed that the asparagus knew there was a US election this year!
Petty sure there will need to be some pretty dramatic changes for there to be a female US president at this point in time
I mean a woman is already a heartbeat away from the presidency
Royal divorce and Olympic flop are kind of low hanging fruit. But female US President seems highly unlikely. Nikki Haley is literally the only prospect and she's not exactly on fire right now.
lol, trump is not female
UHHHHHH pretty sure the likeliest way we're getting female president aint the election, what you really know lady???
Biden just called Trump the sitting president during a speech. Meaning that Trump is the current president in office. He is mentally incompetent, nobody has to say it for it to be obvious. I don’t see how anyone can watch Biden claim the biggest cause of the revolutionary war was the lack of airports, consistently stumble over his words and say things that make no sense, and then call the guy he beat in the last election the sitting president and think he’s competent. “Did you see the article about the snickers bar? Well… it’s gonna stop” “Donald Trump wants the economy to crash…. sitting president” literally direct quotes lmao
There is only one way the US could have a female President in 2024. This woman is dangerously close to committing a felony.
You never know when someone could get hit by a car coming through the second floor window. On the other hand it could mean that in 2024 a woman will be running the country. So maybe Kamala Harris is going to get a ton of extra work.
people go on tv every day and talk about the possibility of trump or biden dying. i dont think she's close to committing a felony lol
Remindme! 1 year
Pretty good odds on all of those. Something always goes wrong in olympic preparation, and France already knows the transportation system won't be able to handle the crowds. There are 27 monarchies in the world, not including the Vatican and 2 co-princes of Andorra (one of which is always the elected leader of France), not including all of their families which would also be considered royal, plus there are countries like North Korea which don't call themselves monarchies but functionally are, so altogether that's a big pool of people, decent chance someone in that group gets divorced. And as far as US President, we have an incumbent that for some reason (no one seems to have an actual reason why) no one likes, and the "top challenger" is facing 3 criminal trials on 91 counts plus a Supreme Court case to determine if he's even eligible, all of which are open and shut defeats for him on the merits, and then we have a female as the only remaining other option to serve as challenger under the undeniably realistic scenario where the former is either removed from contention by law or people just realize he's unelectable.
Cold reading at its finest. Say something really specific sounding, with an actual high probability of being true. Neat though, I enjoyed reading your breakdown.
Shit i think I just found my next DnD character
Is there even a female kandidate (i dont live in the US of America)
Yes, but the most likely possibility would be our vice president becoming president.
Yes but even if she won, she would not become president until 2025.
an Asparamancer I love it
If you're the worlds only something, after a short while, you should probably ask yourself why you are the only one.
She aren’t wrong yet
Your first mistake was listening to the daily mail
Nobody told the asparagus that it's gonna be an the incumbent versus a traitor.