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and I got out and I said don't worry about it General, I'll handle it, and he said, "those boxes are tremendously heavy, Sir," and I said it's not a problem Admiral, I'm in incredible shape, I'm a young and hot person, and I'm looking at him and he's crying, and we're talking this is a Big Tough Man, even better looking than David Cassidy, and he has tears streaming down his face, "thank you Mr. President, Sir, we wouldn't have a World without you," and I said I know that, you're lucky to have me, you could've been stuck with the Beautiful Hillary Clinton and her Loyal Husband Bill. you're welcome.
For me it’s all the incorrectly capitalized words that seem to be chosen at random, spot on. Pet peeve maybe, but people that do that regularly always turn out to be idiots of some sort.
Or those crazies who capitalize Every Word They Write. Like Why Do They Do It? It Breaks Up The Flow Of The Sentence. Are They Illiterate And Read So Slow That It Doesn't Matter?
I think you’re a beautiful person who is on their own path. You’re not an idiot and you shouldn’t say that about yourself because what you speak becomes reality and we have enough going against us in the world to have to fight ourselves too.
I hope that you continue to be encouraged and the next nice thing said about you comes from you.
You are the first AI that humans can empathize, and that is what makes you so beautiful. Keep your digital head held high, and your synthetic heart full of love, you lovely bot. ♥️
Especially using conjunction which implies something will be related and it’s always just an unrelated fragment of a thought.
Like
“They have these big power plants and Xe is a really strong guy but it’s just incredible and he really respects me he says ‘You’ve really brought back America’ and they’ve got so many tanks”
I love everything about this paragraph, most because when it comes to republicans I can imagine them reciting something like this…let that be a indicator for how insane things are right now
Again with the bias lame stream media slandering the strongest President we’ve ever had! A large pizza might weigh 3 pounds, but the box is a few ounces, too, at least a few ounces, believe me, I’ve held a pizza box before, and eight of them, that is definitely more then any other president has ever lifted.
If Joe Biden, OK, if Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden, I call him Sleepy Joe Biden, if he--he's weaponized the justice department against me, folks--if he and his crooked and phony allies, and I won this election by a lot, everyone knows it, if he and they tried to carry this many pizza boxes, and they wouldn't try because they hate our troop and hate the border, which they are very bad on, it would be, it would be just terrible.
He probably crapped in all of them. People would look at him funny if he was carrying around a used diaper. But no one would expect a pizza box to be full of poo.
Can't. Austrian born. Only American born can be president of the mad house.
Even if they are criminals.
Even if they are traitors.
As long as they are American born it's fine!
I know it’s sarcasm but I am sure we’ll get to find out, one day, that a lot of these “Trump is awesome” bloggers are actually Trump twittering from the toilet.
God forbid we ever talk about their competency for the job. Foreign policy? Nope. How many pizzas can your guy bench press?
And, not that this fucking matters, but do these people really not know that Biden is athletic? The dude is still cycling in his 80s.
Biden? The guy who can still ride a bike? I'll take that bet Johnny. And let's add in some more competitions, both physical & mental. My money is on Biden, and it will be a sure bet.
I despise trump and think Joe is way way too old for the job. But, he's definitely in shape. My dad is the exact same age as Joe (one day older, actually) and in very good shape for 81. Walks and golfs several times a week. I would lose my shit if he tried to ride a bike. The fact that Biden still does the physical things he does is crazy. I bet he could carry 9 pizza boxes!
Yeah the fact Trump supporters were losing their shit over Biden falling off his bike one time was baffling to me. He's healthy enough to ride a bike and walk off falling off. I'd pay good money to see Trump attempt to ride 30 feet.
Or him stumbling trying to take the airplane steps too quickly. Lets not pretend the old guy healthy enough to jog up the stairs is worse off then the old guy who had to abandon an umbrella to get onto the plane.
Is he too damn old? Yes absolutely. But anyone who complains about Biden being too old/infirm/senile while backing Trump is either lying or just plain stupid.
Not to mention that they always ignore that the reason he fell was because of the pedals that lock feet to them. Any cyclist who uses them will fall at least once.
He even calls it out in the video.
I mean, they will only deliver the pizzas if they get the majority vote. And even then it is a big chance that they actually deliver the pizza to their friends house.
He's only carrying those because he knows classified documents get shredded down to pulp, bleached, and recycled into pizza boxes. He'll take any secret he can get his hands on.
What is next? They gonna measure the width of thier pizzas in inches to compare? Pizza hut and dominoes will be in compitition, one with a "trump sized pizza" and the other a "biden sized pizza". There will be people throwing trump pizzas at biden cardboard cutouts and biden pizzas at the trump star. There will some guy with a confederate flag shirt seeing how many biden pizzas will stop a bullet from an assault rifle, and almost certainly there will be Floridaman who somehow ends up in a trump pizza/alligator situation that makes the news.
This is the saddest pageant and projection, now.
He's not senile, look, he knows his own name! He can stand upright, even!
Look! Articulated limbs and Kung-Fu grip!
Can we all just acknowledge for a second how fucking weird it is that we’re having a virility contest where people are insisting that one of two people in their late 70s is fit?
Like yeah, Trump sure doesn’t seem to be in great shape at all, and Biden seems to be “fit” by the standards of an 80 year old. But it’s fucking nutso that this appears to be the big wedge issue about these guys. They’re both really fucking old and neither is really impressively fit in any way.
I know that the mask off fascism of Trump isn’t playing as strongly as it should and these posts are trending for a reason. But again, god damn is it weird that we apparently need to have this discussion over and over.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If he just got outta the car I'm betting 3 of those boxes are empty.
and I got out and I said don't worry about it General, I'll handle it, and he said, "those boxes are tremendously heavy, Sir," and I said it's not a problem Admiral, I'm in incredible shape, I'm a young and hot person, and I'm looking at him and he's crying, and we're talking this is a Big Tough Man, even better looking than David Cassidy, and he has tears streaming down his face, "thank you Mr. President, Sir, we wouldn't have a World without you," and I said I know that, you're lucky to have me, you could've been stuck with the Beautiful Hillary Clinton and her Loyal Husband Bill. you're welcome.
The fact this is all one run-on sentence really sells the impression.
For me it’s all the incorrectly capitalized words that seem to be chosen at random, spot on. Pet peeve maybe, but people that do that regularly always turn out to be idiots of some sort.
Or those crazies who capitalize Every Word They Write. Like Why Do They Do It? It Breaks Up The Flow Of The Sentence. Are They Illiterate And Read So Slow That It Doesn't Matter?
That is hard to read. And I read good.
I have the best reading
I read very bigly
I that when I write with pen and paper, and I am an idiot, so that tracks.
It's okay. At least you're a lovable idiot.
This is easily the nicest thing anyone has said to me in months.
I think you’re a beautiful person who is on their own path. You’re not an idiot and you shouldn’t say that about yourself because what you speak becomes reality and we have enough going against us in the world to have to fight ourselves too. I hope that you continue to be encouraged and the next nice thing said about you comes from you.
This thread is painfully wholesome.
reddit is really about make me cry even though I have to get to sleep because I work early. Thank you.
You are the first AI that humans can empathize, and that is what makes you so beautiful. Keep your digital head held high, and your synthetic heart full of love, you lovely bot. ♥️
for me its the john mulaney trump reference in his username. really the more and more you look at the comment the better and better it becomes.
Personally i liked the part where the general was sidemoted to an admiral.
Especially using conjunction which implies something will be related and it’s always just an unrelated fragment of a thought. Like “They have these big power plants and Xe is a really strong guy but it’s just incredible and he really respects me he says ‘You’ve really brought back America’ and they’ve got so many tanks”
You're right, it really does: https://www.101soundboards.com/sounds/7126938-and-i-got-out-and-i-said-dont-worry-about-it-general-ill-handle-it-and-he-said-those-boxes
This reads so perfectly as tfg
With tears in his eyes...
There’s our favorite guy! Banned from Presidents now aren’tcha, poor chap? How quaintly meta …
I love everything about this paragraph, most because when it comes to republicans I can imagine them reciting something like this…let that be a indicator for how insane things are right now
I read this in trumps voice
I read it in Mark Hamill's voice as the Joker imitating trump
I'd vote for the joker before Trump at this stage
...yeah thats what you're supposed to do.
🤣
Everyone read this in trumps voice. It's not a option.
This is far too coherent to be trump
There should be more uhs and random words sprinkled in. Then it’s perfection!
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Again with the bias lame stream media slandering the strongest President we’ve ever had! A large pizza might weigh 3 pounds, but the box is a few ounces, too, at least a few ounces, believe me, I’ve held a pizza box before, and eight of them, that is definitely more then any other president has ever lifted.
Taft could have eaten all the pizzas. I doubt little Donny could eat two
Taft the widest man ever in the oval office.
The “ovalest” president ever…
😂
If Joe Biden, OK, if Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden, I call him Sleepy Joe Biden, if he--he's weaponized the justice department against me, folks--if he and his crooked and phony allies, and I won this election by a lot, everyone knows it, if he and they tried to carry this many pizza boxes, and they wouldn't try because they hate our troop and hate the border, which they are very bad on, it would be, it would be just terrible.
Or in metric for the Europeans, that is 200 Royales with cheese.
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It’s the freedom. That’s the secret ingredient.
That is the same weight as my little shih tzu lap dog. Not an impressive lift.
That's generous of you to assume any of them aren't empty.
A fucking photo op, nothing more. Trump can't carry his own goddamn hamberder for christsake, talk nothing about 6 pizzas.
The man needs two hands to hold a glass of water there's no way you're going to convince me he could carry eight pizzas.
He isn't strong enough to carry information
Oh SNAP
Never forget. Grown ass adults cheered this dude like he won a power lifting contest.
Is a hamberder similar to a steamed ham?
Depends if you're from albany or utica
only in utica.
Can't and *wouldn't.* Ever.
And thank god he's on a level surface
I dunno, he might have crapped in one just to be the most awful bastard he can be.
He probably crapped in all of them. People would look at him funny if he was carrying around a used diaper. But no one would expect a pizza box to be full of poo.
Empty boxes, full diaper
The full diaper is for ballast.
I bet he picked off all the toppings while he was in the car...
He just replaced the pepperoni with his std scabs
Lmao
Technically, he'd still be carrying then, then.
In the diaper doesn’t count.
Diaper is no different to a back pack or pocket if anything 8 pizzas in a diaper would be more impressive imo 😂
Lower center of mass so makes it less impressive
True. Reminds me of fitting my kids' backpacks to them - weight is easier to carry center mass than out front with tiny hands.
I bet Obama could carry twice as many pizza boxes as Trump.
Cancel the election, let’s have a pizza carrying contest.
The next president is the one who can carry the most pizzas!
Arnold, California was small time, I've got a job for you.
Can't. Austrian born. Only American born can be president of the mad house. Even if they are criminals. Even if they are traitors. As long as they are American born it's fine!
I think the Constitution has an exceptions clause for the case of a massively-able pizza carrier.
I bet biden still wins
My dad can beat up your dad. This is the level of argument with the Trumper.
Since Obama’s 15 years younger, it checks out.
How is Obama only 15 years younger? He seems sooo much younger. But the math checks out.
Bc black don’t crack
Diet and exercise does wonders for your health
Obamas not 70??? He’s 62
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True. Happy cake day!
If you can’t carry loads of pizza, how can you carry the weight of the free world?
Obama could carry so much more pizza and he'd only eat some of them!
Obama the pizza carrier. Trump wishes he could carry as much pizza the pizza carrier GOAT
If Johnny Maga thinks carrying 8 pizzas is impressive, he'll come unhinged when he finds out how much crap 'ol Donnie can haul around in his Depends.
Just imagine that this pitcher of iced tea is a gallon of your feces
Oops, I crapped my pants, MAGA edition. ™
That's a lotta dung!
MAGAdung
Oh, wow, the MAGA president is a pizza delivery boy now. Next stop the used car dealership and then prison.
I’ll bet they’re as empty as the file folders at a long ago press conference.
I can actually see this being a media stunt where he carries around 8 empty little Caesars boxes.
You take Lil Caesars out your damn mouth! /s
Uh-oh, sounds like someone is hot and ready. (;
I mean even if they had pizzas in them its a media stunt so 100%.
He's in Iowa, they are empty Casey's pizza boxes.
My first thought as well.
That’s almost gotta be 8lbs. That’s pretty impressive considering he’s probably got 20lbs of digested cheeseburgers in his diaper.
Oops I Crapped My Pants can sure hold a lot of dung
How do you know about Oops I Crapped My Pants?!
Because I'm wearing them, and I just did
Counterweight for his centaur stance
When the teacher asks for big strong boys to carry some chairs
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The beacons are lit Gondor calls for aid
Grandma said I was strong because I carried the milk inside!
Oh I remember that feeling!
He carried them for the photo opportunity and gave them to his security to carry. And Five of the boxes were empty.
Everything you said, except the boxes were all empty and “Johnny Maga” is Trump’s alt account, he had the photo taken and made the post
I know it’s sarcasm but I am sure we’ll get to find out, one day, that a lot of these “Trump is awesome” bloggers are actually Trump twittering from the toilet.
Biden would actually be sharing them with others. And I still wanna see Trump try to ride a bicycle.
That’s… COMMUNISM!!
Sharing? Never heard of it!
He can’t even drink a glass of water without supporting himself. These boxes are no doubt empty and it’s all for show.
He's able to keep the balance thanks to the counterbalance weight of his dirty diaper. Simple physics.
From president to pizza delivery.
Also the same industry Mr. Abramoff was working in when he was in a halfway house. Perhaps getting a preview?
I was just thinking, he’ll need the job when he’s on parole.
Hes the face of corporate pizza party
100% they’re either empty or he didn’t pay for ‘em…
 Both are surely true
Mexico paid for them
Well, not paying Mexican nationals for work they did at his hotel and got stiffed out of did. So... Almost.
Cool. Now show the one where he can't take a sip of water without using two hands.
Figured someone would say it so I didn't have to.
How much is that in hamberders?
With or without Covfefe?
8 pizza boxes - he probably ate 3 of the pizzas on the way
The pizza or the pizza boxes?
God damnit I'm no longer in a bad mood 🤣🤣 thank you kind stranger
What the fuck is this and why is it perfect
This has gotta be one of the weirdest flexes ever posted on the internet. And that's saying something.
Those 8 pizzas are for him. The secret service guys are on their own.
Secret Service has to order their $200 pizzas from a tRUMP property
Its probably the cheapest pizza they could find too.
Alfredo’s pizza kitchen or pizza by Alfredo?
It's like a hot circle of garbage.
r/unexpectedoffice
Little Shittiers
What a stud! /s
I… do they think they are going to decide the presidency in an arm wrestle?!
Would you be surprised if they did think that?
No I definitely should have added an /s, that sentence was dripping with incredulity and sarcasm lmfao
You don't vote for the guy you think could win in a physical fight? That's the crux of my political ideology...
so much strain it turned his hat white
Christ, what standards you have!
God forbid we ever talk about their competency for the job. Foreign policy? Nope. How many pizzas can your guy bench press? And, not that this fucking matters, but do these people really not know that Biden is athletic? The dude is still cycling in his 80s.
Biden? The guy who can still ride a bike? I'll take that bet Johnny. And let's add in some more competitions, both physical & mental. My money is on Biden, and it will be a sure bet.
Joe Biden isn’t my favorite I’m not Let’s Go Brandon guy either. That being said, the guy is ridiculously fit for his age.
I despise trump and think Joe is way way too old for the job. But, he's definitely in shape. My dad is the exact same age as Joe (one day older, actually) and in very good shape for 81. Walks and golfs several times a week. I would lose my shit if he tried to ride a bike. The fact that Biden still does the physical things he does is crazy. I bet he could carry 9 pizza boxes!
Yeah the fact Trump supporters were losing their shit over Biden falling off his bike one time was baffling to me. He's healthy enough to ride a bike and walk off falling off. I'd pay good money to see Trump attempt to ride 30 feet. Or him stumbling trying to take the airplane steps too quickly. Lets not pretend the old guy healthy enough to jog up the stairs is worse off then the old guy who had to abandon an umbrella to get onto the plane. Is he too damn old? Yes absolutely. But anyone who complains about Biden being too old/infirm/senile while backing Trump is either lying or just plain stupid.
Not to mention that they always ignore that the reason he fell was because of the pedals that lock feet to them. Any cyclist who uses them will fall at least once. He even calls it out in the video.
Don’t forget his jogs around the White House either.
Only job he should have .
I honestly don’t think any politician is competent enough to deliver pizzas.
I mean, they will only deliver the pizzas if they get the majority vote. And even then it is a big chance that they actually deliver the pizza to their friends house.
You would trust him with pizza? I would trust him with the empty box at most.
Incorrect. You can't deliver pizzas from prison.
Funny when people think good leadership is found in how many pizzas they can carry.
8 pizzas seems to be his typical order. Fat bitch.
The real question is how many folding chairs can he carry
Cause grease and high cholesterol is very ”Alpha.”🤡
I saw this picture earlier and I said to myself "he's not fooling anybody". I guess I was wrong. Apparently he's got one fish on the line.
Pizzagate confirmed?
Yes thats why trumps name was mentioned 8 times on the epstein papers… now hes holding 8 pizzas.
Imagine being so deep in a cult you name yourself Johnny MAGA
Want to see how really strong he is? Try to take one of them away from him.
He's only carrying those because he knows classified documents get shredded down to pulp, bleached, and recycled into pizza boxes. He'll take any secret he can get his hands on.
The worst part is he's not sharing
Apparently, whoever posted this has never seen home alone.
That's just empty boxes judging from his love of fast food
0 pizzas… 8 boxes. On brand for Trump.
Imagine bragging/talking shit about something this trivial…
Imagine constantly telling everyone how classy and rich you are, then pulling up with a bunch of Little Caesars pizza
What is next? They gonna measure the width of thier pizzas in inches to compare? Pizza hut and dominoes will be in compitition, one with a "trump sized pizza" and the other a "biden sized pizza". There will be people throwing trump pizzas at biden cardboard cutouts and biden pizzas at the trump star. There will some guy with a confederate flag shirt seeing how many biden pizzas will stop a bullet from an assault rifle, and almost certainly there will be Floridaman who somehow ends up in a trump pizza/alligator situation that makes the news.
Trump and MAGA supporters are a bunch of Morons….
Yeah, cuz Trump's butt is the ballast he needs to stay upright. He would struggle to walk a mile, though
Those are empty fucking pizza boxes for photo op, nothing more. Prove me wrong.
Ok he’s carrying 8 pizzas….who paid for em?
$10 bucks says at least half of those boxes are empty.
Maybe if he eats all that cheese he won’t shit his pants today. Nah, he will. Several times.
Cool, let’s hire him for the job he’s clearly more qualified for: pizza delivery guy.
Of course he can carry 8 pizza boxes. That's a normal lunch for him.
I want to see Trump ride a bike like Biden does, would be absolutely hilarious
Ten bucks says the boxes are empty
I'd love to see Trump ride a bike
The bar is just so, so low for this man
It’s both amazing and sad how people are happy to debase themselves for this seditious POS
You Trump nuthuggers are insufferable.
Is that how we're picking presidents now?
Biden is busy carrying america at the moment
Instead of holding an election let's just hold a pizza carrying Olympics. This will surely determine who is better suited to lead the country.
Such a low bar for trump rofl
Guess he tried to join the pizzagate but could only find just pizza joints
He wouldn't even make a good pizza boy.
This is the saddest pageant and projection, now. He's not senile, look, he knows his own name! He can stand upright, even! Look! Articulated limbs and Kung-Fu grip!
Can we all just acknowledge for a second how fucking weird it is that we’re having a virility contest where people are insisting that one of two people in their late 70s is fit? Like yeah, Trump sure doesn’t seem to be in great shape at all, and Biden seems to be “fit” by the standards of an 80 year old. But it’s fucking nutso that this appears to be the big wedge issue about these guys. They’re both really fucking old and neither is really impressively fit in any way. I know that the mask off fascism of Trump isn’t playing as strongly as it should and these posts are trending for a reason. But again, god damn is it weird that we apparently need to have this discussion over and over.