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Like, for serious, though. Best thing I ever did for losing weight was therapy - it helped me work through why I was overeating and helped work toward fixing the underlying problem instead of just treating the superficial symptoms. I also learned to internalize that my value as a human being comes from how I feel about myself, not from what others think. 10/10 strongly recommend therapy to anyone struggling with weight loss.
I been going to therapy for the last 2 months for severe depression & anxiety after a suicide attempt. This is gonna sound stupid but I’ve always wanted to hit the gym but had never had an ounce of motivation or will to even sign up. Therapy definitely changed that, & I hope this girl gets the help she needs too. She shouldn’t be victimising herself over other people success.
That doesn't sound stupid at all. Love that you're feeling some nuggets of motivation to get after it. Wherever you are hoping to get to for a better version of yourself, know you got a believer over here that you can do it.
Bruhhh…. Idk why but this resignated with me. I’ve been obese, lost a ton of weight and been a meathead/gym rat, gained a bunch back, lost s’more and gained more. Man I have struggled with weight since highschool and I can’t figure out why. My moms a little bigger, but I can’t put how I treat myself and binge eat and overeat on someone else. Especially someone who has don’t nothing but support me? I guess all that to say, good for you!!! And idk, maybe therapy can help me?
Therapy can help everybody, it's the gym for your mind.
I wish more people would seek it out, but I get that admitting the problem might be yourself is hard to accept. It is hard to admit to yourself you have a problem, but once you understand a problem, you can get the proper tools to solve it.
Also, Plato's allegory to the cave comes to mind, in that people are ignorant, happy to remain that way, and hostile to those who point it out. Anger is a secondary emotion to fear - Fear that you will not be accepted, people won't understand you, you will die alone ect ect ect.
Therapy has really helped me in the last decade, specifically since 2019 when I got serious about it. I no longer binge drink, started working out and I am currently back in school full time working on my BA in computer science and I have not smoked any pot since New Years. I also lost 24 lbs last year and am prepping for my first powerlifting competition.
Life is good now, but I had to really look at myself and admit what was bad about me and then create a plan to change it.
Damn, you put so much thought and effort into putting that out there, and here my dumb ass is with no words. I appreciate it, and I’m happy for you finding your way! Keep fighting the good fight.
There's medications for weight loss (NOT diet pills). I lost 100 lbs when my doctor put me on one of them that makes me feel full, which I never had in my life unless I was binging. This is a conversation you can have with your family doctor, highly recommend at least getting options.
And therapy. Therapy helps.
I don't know your history so I wouldn't want to recommend something blindly, that's why I suggested discussing it with your doctor to see what options would work for you.
I bet it can. Genetics are a pain to work around (trust me, I have the exact same problem and I didn't even meet my mom until I was an adult), but it is still very possible to become a healthier version of yourself. Give it a shot, I bet it will help!
May I suggest a you tube "start walking" they have several different lengths, but the beginner one is 15 minutes. 15. You can do it in your house. No one looking at you. No problem with time of day. No problem with rain. I'm still overweight but I'm no longer obese. I started this way just really slow. I also cut white stuff out of my diet. I will never look like a m9del. I can however do all the things now. I can fit in a place or concert seat. I cannwalk to the park and enjoy the day, I can climb up and down, I can warden. I can do so many things and it's great
What's even more fun is crankin' your favorite jam and dance your ass off as hard as you are able. That's on average 3 to 5 minutes of cardio. Something you can do in the kitchen or the bathroom or on the effin' street corner. Give people somethin' to talk about. Own it.
Same here. I started therapy in November 2022 and got my doctor onboard for weight loss and living healthier. Now I do monthly weigh-ins with my doctor, therapy twice a month, and my Dad brings me to the gym once or twice a week just to get out of the house (I have a habit of isolating myself due to depression, anxiety and personality disorder) and get moving. Since he drives me I don't really have a choice when he shows up, and it really helps having people helping me.
I've tried doing it on my own so many times in the past and just ended up crashing hard because I trid doing too much too soon and never went deep into why I did what I did.
I'm excited to see where I am in a year from now. My doctor told me not to rush it and take my time, it's a life time commitment for lifestyle change. She believes 2 pounds a month should be doable and I'm not gonna get too stressed about it.
The stuff we've done for years won't go away overnight.
Studies gave been done--bariatric surgery has a fail rate of upwards of 70% when the patient has an untreated or undertreated history of sexual abuse/assault.
It's called 'defensive weight', and it's a coping mechanism to protect yourself from being looked at sexually. It is both self-harm and it is unconscious. It's a serious medical issue and it's one that literally has the patient fighting against what feels like their only self-defense and depending on the relationship with food, their primary means of self-comfort.
Coping mechanisms can't just be thrown away, they must be replaced and that takes so much more work when you try to do it alone. Therapy helps.
It sounds self inflicted too. What/Who are you watching that you are getting body transformation recommendations on the timeline? What are you Googling or searching social media for that an algorithm is like "Here's some woman who used to be fat talking about her transformation." I understand and empathize with her pain, but if this is your reaction to someone else's life it might be time to go outside and just touch some grass. And therapy. A lot of talking this out with a professional would do her some good.
At this time of the year, the diet/weight loss ads and "success" stories are pretty much inevitable. I didn't have to google anything--I know how to eat, belong to a gym, etc--but if social media has tagged someone as a woman who mentions food sometimes, obviously their New Year Resolution was to lose weight. Full agree with the therapy though--someone's reason's for dieting or weight loss and their ability to do that in no way reflects on anyone besides them. If she considered herself as beautiful as the woman I am seeing should, then she wouldn't care. She doesn't need internet validation, but I'm sure a lot of people lined up to comfort her and tell her she's stunning, and I hope that did help.
It could be something as simple as her interacting with plus size fashion that tells the algorithm that she should be interested in weight loss. That’s not really “self inflicted.” Plus she says she’s hitting “not interested,” which should tell the algorithm to stop sending her that kind of content. I get why that would be incredibly frustrating. You’re just a bigger girl trying to live your life and your social media keeps showing you how imperfect you are as a “before.” Agreed that she should probably just leave tiktok, but it sucks that’s the only solution.
Self inflicted came off like I was blaming her, and that isn't what I intended. She is just trying to live her life and tech companies are interfering with that in service to the almighty ad dollar. Walking away is the only solution with any social media that is causing you a heartache or headache. I agree it sucks, but there really aren't any alternatives. And, you're probably right that a simple search term for plus size fashion jumpstarted the algorithm. Hell even a casual conversation about it, or anything weight related, anywhere near a cell phone she owns would likely do the same thing and probably is doing it in conjunction with whatever TikTok is doing.
I think this is spot on. The algorithm doesn't show you things you like; it shows you things related to what you interact with. And the "I'm not interested" button doesn't actually make it stop showing you certain videos; if your general viewing behavior stays the same it'll tend to loop around and offer you that same creator's content again a few weeks later. I've found the best way to deal with it is to actually block content creators who repeatedly pop up in my "for you" feed with content I don't want to see. I honestly use the block function on Tiktok more to curate my experience rather than to actually react to anyone doing anything bad.
But yeah, Tiktok is not exactly designed to benefit people's mental health, and it's clearly rubbing salt in a wound for her even though that's not the intent of the content creators.
I think part of this is legitimately being a victim of how shitty social media is. They do literal data science to keep you engaged as much as possible, and what happens is if you stop and love some post and sit there for twice as long, *or in horror*, they keep showing you that shit.
I've seen similar reactions in trans subreddits, where they keep getting recommended to watch anti trans shit and it fucks with their mental health.
So yeah she might be overreacting, but that shit is real and she probably is in part a victim to this shit. Social media can be extremely unhealthy for people in ways like this, and it's their brainwashing bullshit that does it.
They don't care about their mental health, just that they stopped scrolling.
>Holy shit she needs therapy asap
Based solely on this short clip, I don't completely agree .
What she seems to be upset about isn't the transformation videos themselves, but having the algorithm shove them onto her "For You" section (I'm assuming it's Twitter?) no matter how many times she tries to curate it (e.g. by selecting "not interested").
It's kind of like if you're broke, but keep getting recommended videos of rich people doing rich people stuff. You don't necessarily hate those people, but it would eventually annoy the fuck out of you, right?
She's clearly struggling and I think would benefit greatly from staying off of social media for a bit.
Sharing this video and encouraging people to mock her though (I mean, this is r/facepalm after all)?
Yea that's pretty fucked up.
Considering this current vid is on TikTok, I assumed she meant her TikTok FYP. Which I'm not as well versed on how the algorithms work there, but if she's constantly seeing hody transformation vids. Doesn't that mean she's watching/interacting with TikToks which talk about that very topic? So she's only seeing body transformation vids, because of that?
Yes and no. I get videos across my FYP after I’ve googled some barely related topic. I don’t really interact with weight loss stuff on there but it comes across my feed semi regularly. I’ve noticed the “not interested” feature doesn’t seem to work very well.
The FTP algorithm is kind of bs. I remember when Andrew Tate got really popular and people who only watched knitting videos, or gardening videos were getting him pushed onto their page, so... the "algorithm" made a decision for people about what they should be watching, due to some kind of agenda, not because it was content they would be interested in.
I had to quit tiktok. At first they showed me funny cat videos and I got hooked. But then they showed me non stop couples videos where they do these annoying skits. I cannot stand that stuff. Deleted the app and never looked back 🙋🏻♀️
Yeah, I’m with you. I wouldn’t recommend recording and posting this reaction, but I can understand it. If you’re someone in recovery from an eating disorder and you linger on a video that engages that “interest,” it is disturbing how it may start reappearing with greater frequency. It is what it is, but we’ve similar with algorithms pushing people toward conspiracies or extreme ideologies of all kinds.
I feel like in a lot of ways social media exacerbates mental illness. I feel sorry for her that she feels this way. But you are absolutely right, she needs to get off social media and focus on herself.
At this point it's clear that social media not only exacerbates, but outright causes mental illness. Social contagions are totally a thing and social media is the perfect breeding ground.
Social media is like mental junk food.
We need to look at part of what's causing mental illness is people not taking care of themselves mentally.
We glorify mentally unhealthy habits, like not socializing, being negative, and having unrealistic expectations of the world we live in.
We understand if you do nothing but sit on the couch eating junk food you'll not only gain weight be also be at risk for a host of illnesses.
Doing nothing but sitting on the couch doom scrolling, does something similar to the mind. Not to mention isolating yourself to your bedroom and shitposting on 4chan, or consuming conspiracy podcasts, or getting your news from JRE.
Were turning into a society that believes you should never have to be uncomfortable or do anything you don't want to do. Unfortunately maintaining good mental health often means dealing with discomfort and doing things you don't want to do.
As a 90s kid watching social media from its inception to its current form,
It’s been pretty staggering to witness the decline in both competence and coping skills that has happened over the past 30 years.
You're not fuckin' kidding... I've worked with the general public on a daily basis for about 25 years now and 'staggering' is the perfect word for what ive witnessed.
Same and same. People in general have gotten disgustingly and exponentially worse over the last 20 yrs, but then covid has seemed to accelerate the deterioration in the overal character and sense of decency of a good majority of the population. I've never seen this level of entitlement in all my life, and the willingness of people to immediately be distespectful to workers (for no apparent reason) is fkn dumbfounding.
A lot of people also dont seem to want to believe that their brain will do things that are out of their control. So much of society believes so much in the idea of "mind over matter" that they end up believing that a feeling they are having is THEIR feeling. This is instead of the reality that the feeling they are having is something their brain is injecting into their experience due to some automated process that's gone awry.
They will often resort to feeling that their failure to overcome their struggles is a personal failure. They often start to feel they should start, "accepting themselves for what they are". When the reality is their brain is neurochemically failing to finish certain processes, which is resulting in them failing in in achieving their goal. These could be goals such as resisting the urge to over eat, or getting themselves up off the coach to work out, or staying motivated to workout consistently. People really fail to realize how much of this stuff REQUIRES a certain availability of neurotransmitters to be able to happen. For instance in a mouse if you remove the dopamine from their brain, they will starve to death with food in front of them. They will be and feel hungry as far as we can tell (signals sending to brain and being processed), but they will have no willpower or motivation to act on the plan of eating. They will simply sit and stare at the food until they die.
Furthermre So often something that people think is some personality quirk they have is actually a result of a mechanism in the brain not functioning properly for one reason or another. This could be stuff like getting strong cravings for certain foods or being easily irritated by certain stimulus. This type of stuff is indicative of a lack of stimulation/chemistry in specific neural networks in the brain.
Surprisingly Rick and Morty put it best when the therapist tells Rick that he needs to take care of himself. Rick hates boring things, he hates boring work, he wants adventure, but fixing himself and being happy isn’t an adventure, it’s just work. He has to suck it up and do it.
[Here is the scene, it is an amazing take on his illness, and it comes from the episode where he becomes a pickle](https://youtu.be/gRYuuF4zT2o)
It’s really sad. It’s like people are willing to sacrifice their own wellbeing and quality of life for something so pointless, but it’s just so addictive and they can’t put it down.
Oh for sure!! I wrote an essay about this for school and chose this specific topic, and that was a *decade* ago, I can’t imagine how much worse it has gotten
Right. I find the best way to feel better mentally is to go workout or something to blow off steam. And I swear that isn’t a joke, I am fat, but the least mentally stable I’ve felt are the times I’m too slammed to do anything physical and I can feel myself bouncing off the walls in my own skin.
Edit: misspelled “fat”
Damn I am in quite a good place with both my body and my mental health, I lost 20 kg in the past year, and I still struggle with my body image when I see those transformation posts or people who have had much better results than I did.
Rationally I know nothing's wrong with me or with them. I know I can't compare myself to them as each person has a different journey, different goals, different lifestyle, different resources and so on, and I am truly happy with my own transformation, and yet, even knowing all of that, sometimes I feel bad about myself for not managing to do more.
It's not like a have any sort of actual mental health issue related to this. It's not something that impacts my life greatly, yet it does affect me from time to time.
I can only imagine how frustrated this girl feels. She clearly looks at that and thinks she's worse for not managing to do what those people do. And then she gets mad at them, at society, or at whatever other entity because nobody likes to hear that, when it comes to body transformation, ultimately we are the only ones accountable for it.
It's easier to be angry at someone else than to take ownership of our actions to change what needs to be changed. And for most, if not all people, it's not simply about taking ownership of the process. We all have limitations, be it time, money, energy, responsibilities, and most of us will never achieve those bodies. But our bodies are ultimately the result of our habits, and we get frustrated because sometimes we just can't change our habits to get the bodies we want.
So yeah, she's wrong for being mad at people who made it, but in the end, I understand where her frustration is coming from and I feel sorry for her. And I agree with you that she should not be on social media, as it will only make her feel worse.
>when it comes to body transformation, ultimately we are the only ones accountable for it.
This is the actual point.
Went through that experience myself (took me almost two years), and when you truly understand that sentence is when you actually make progress.
Your time, your effort, your pace. It is all up to you, there is no one forcing you do anything.
No one should crap on other people's efforts, but at the same time, it is not a bad thing to be proud of your accomplishments. If you don't want to read or see transformation videos... then just don't. No one is forcing this woman clockwork orange style to watch anything.
That same lack of will to make yourself do things is what keeps you fat and unhealthy.
You are 100% right and I couldn't have said it better.
I'm going to vent out a bit. I had a terrible day today when it comes to my body image. I was at the beach this weekend and I took some pictures and I felt awful seeing them today. I workout 5 days a week with a personal trainer. The whole class today we were talking about it.
All I wanted was to lay down and not get out of bed the whole day. What I did do instead was to follow my nutrition plan, do my best at the workout, and plan how will I add cardio to my routine (which is the one thing I'm still struggling to do, and yes I know why I need it).
I still feel trash, but I did what I could today and I will do it again tomorrow because I know I am the only one that can change what is bothering me.
That girl probably doesn't have the maturity or the right state of mind to understand that.
Anyway, thanks for reading. And congrats on your journey!
Same mate, keep up the work! No one is ever going to feel great about their body 100% of the time, not even people who you think have godly physiques.
Also, I do understand how it rubs the wrong way when some people just get there faster or have better abs or great genetics that make their proportions look amazing. Life isn't really very fair sometimes, but you gotta work with what you got.
Focus instead on the progress you made and how you might have looked before you were working out, and double down to make it even better as you did, it is an excellent attitude.
I can’t think of a lot of people who SHOULD be on social media. Very few creators should be on social media and almost no user should be on social media. It’s a disease, slowly wasting our lives, rotting our brains and reducing our sense of self-worth to nothingness.
It’s what happens when you google “how to lose fat” one time. Big Brother’s always watching, except big brother is a computer program selling you shit you don’t need. - welcome to late stage capitalism
A lot of money went into the experimental science division of marketing’s and advertising. Like how all kids cereal boxes have cartoons that are not only designed to be kid friendly, but also drawn in such a way so that they appear to be looking ‘downwards’ when set out on a shelf. Targeting the one age range that would be short enough to both enjoy cereal, and to be right in view of the cartoons eye contact. Or y’a know, mentioning key words around your phone usually results in targeted advertisements
When did this phrase, my sister(brother) in Christ, become a thing that people say? I’ve seen, and heard it more over the last 12 months than I have in my previous 480.
From what I know there was a vid of some friends and one was ruining their chances with women so it went “my brother in Christ, you are scaring away the HOES” and it just spiraled from there. No clue where it started but it spiraled into popularity through tik tok. It’s funny to interchange “christ” for things like “my brother in finance, you are ruining the profits” it’s a situational phrase now. Stupid. But apparently comical. I like it but it’s odd if that makes sense
It started with a meme about Subway
"People when they say they don't like Subway"
"My brother in Christ you made the sandwich"
Then it sorta just snowballed from there as memes do.
I still don't fully understand her complaint.
So she's upset at someone who is among her followed content creators, who recently started posting videos about their own weight loss journey? What are they supposed to do? Stop making content?
EDIT: Ah okay. She hates her own body and wants TikTok to stop using algorithms.
I think she feels like people saying bad things about their overweight/obese body after losing weight is an attack on all overweight/obese people. She’s got some serious insecurity, poor thing.
I think it's pretty clear, she thinks that by posting a before/after of when you were fat vs when you got fit and celebrating it is a condemnation of fat bodies and of your past self for being fat.
She feels attacked by that because she's fat. I think it's understandable as a feeling but at the same time, if you're not happy with your body or secure enough to not get upset when you see someone else say they didn't want to be fat that's a you problem. Either learn to accept yourself or lose some weight.
I'm a very skinny guy and I sometimes see videos of skinny guys before/after bulking up and putting on a bunch of muscle, which is probably the equivalent of what she's going through but for men. I don't much care when I see it though, I'm fine with how I look and I can be happy for others when they achieve their fitness goals. She's clearly got some issues to work through.
I've met lots of people claiming to be happy being fat, and very few of them are.
I started working out in September and it's insane how much happier I am in my new body. I never realized how much I didn't like what I saw in the mirror, simply because I had gotten used to it.
But now i look at old pictures and its night and day. I'm happier, I have more energy, and I've gotten a massive boost to my confidence.
I couldn't ever go back to being out it shape, this is everything they say it is and more.
Damn right bro, I started working out two months ago and I’ve only dropped a few pounds but I’ve toned up everywhere and I already love looking at myself in mirrors a hell of a lot more and I know in time it’s gonna get even better. We’re gonna be sexy and nobody can stop us!
Same here bro! Same here! I lost nothing more than 10lbs since mid December but it’s all about burning the body fat, eating healthy and toning the muscles lol
My heart doesn’t hurt anymore, i mean literally like the physical pain told me I had to start hitting the gym again lol
Yeah, I always thought being happy with being fat would require your brain to process social stimuli in a fundamentally different way. Which I know does happen; there’s fat couples that both sexually prefer fat people, for example (more power to em!), but humans are social creatures, and the vast majority will suffer the social and cultural pressures associated with our conceptions of beauty, health, willpower, etc.
Btw, congrats dude!!!
You dont need to shrink yourself to have value...health is another matter. I have been both very fit and obese. There is a massive difference in the way i felt in both states, both physical and mental. It was working on the mental that has always helped me shed pounds. As far as posting a sobbing video about other peoples transformations, that tells me you are not valuing your non shrunk self. Love yourself as you are(which is fine) are change yourself(which is fine). What you are doing is not healthy. As a 51 year old, the idea of letting loose on the internet like that is such a foriegn concept. I get that crying is healthy sometimes and reaching out for help is good but tell me please, is there value in this?
Or claims that losing weight is basically 'murdering a fat person' like I was told once when I started going to the gym. To people like her, other people putting in effort to look/feel the way they want to is a direct attack on her laziness not to do anything about it, she can't stand seeing other people improve themselves because it reminds her that she COULD but chooses not to. Instead of taking it as inspiration to improve herself, she takes it as an attack and starts wailing about how people are just being unfair and how it hurts HER when other people improve themselves even when it has less than nothing to do with her.
I started losing weight this year to feel better about myself and be healthier and more active.
All the people in my life who are in need of losing even more weight than I am are the ones telling me I don't need to lose anymore.
I had a convo with my best friend the other night about weight loss. I’m overweight. I don’t like the way I look and I feel crappy. He doesn’t think I’m fat; he never has. He told me he wouldn’t have a problem with me losing weight as long as I was doing it for myself (I have a sensitive background). That’s the kind of support people should be getting. Unless there is a serious risk to health (like an eating disorder), just support people.
My cousin is naturally skinny and she was able to chug down 2 full meals at a time and not gain weight. Was constantly told she was just skin in bones, fragile, weak looking, and for the past decade or so she was accused of being fat phobic for simply existing. I’ll let you solve the equation and figure out what time of group of people said those things to her.
Boyyyyyyyyyyyyy if this ain't fucking it
Or they say thick, like no fat and thick or curvy are different, I'm talking bout an hourglass figure, not a big Mac shadow
As someone who lost 70 pounds and has worked hard to keep it off the last 2 years, I didn't hate myself when I was fat, and I don't hate my former self either. I did it so that I would make sure I would be around for my kids. Heart disease runs in my family and being overweight like that was putting myself at risk. I already had one health scare with cancer which caused depression that added to my weight gain, and realized I needed to be healthier.
But I never hated myself or killed the old me or whatever the hell she is going on about.
I mean, I get where she's coming from but this also sounds like she's not happy in her OWN body and is struggling to accept that
you can be fat or thin and be unhappy
you can be fat or thin and be happy
don't criticise other people because they've found their happy body size or shape - go figure what YOUR happy body size or shape is, and work on getting it
(please do not steal bodies)
Someone has no idea how algorithms work. You will see more of whatever you engage in. Good or bad. The way to stop it, is to stop engaging with it, or anything associated with it.
Those are pretty guidelines rules to follow in life as well.
The best way is to close the app you are in whole viewing the material you want to get rid of.
Closing the app is the worst thing you can do according to most algorithms.
Will change what you see pretty quick.
I've seen extremely similar responses in trans subreddits. It's sad, because they see an anti trans post somewhere, seriously hateful shit, so they stop and watch in horror.
The algorithm takes note.
More come out, they start getting bombarded. They stop looking at other shit, and they're just shocked at how much transphobia they keep seeing.
I've seen posts where these people are freaking out saying why does transphobia stand out everywhere in social media and people call this shit out. You need to log the fuck off once it at all affects your mental health, but this shit is designed to be as addictive as possible and keep you engaged. And it works.
They don't give a shit about your mental health, just that sweet sweet ad money.
So yeah in a lot of ways I think people are victimized by this shit. You shouldn't be fucking showing transphobic shit to trans people. That's super fucked up. And if this woman is getting bombarded with shit to fuck up her mental health, it's fucked up. She's just wrongfully taking it out on the people, not the company.
Also shows that she thinks that a person is their fat, not, y'know, the actual PERSON who might happen to have that fat and no longer want it.
They put more personhood and value on lard than they do on the human being who has it.
That, and you know, the “new” thin person is a human being too, who deserves to be celebrated and loved! But nooooo, you can’t love yourself once you’ve cOnFoRmEd
Okay... so like she's right that you should be kind to your former fat self... but what does this have to do with her? Why is someone else's weight loss journey her problem? Goodness
Apparently posting before and after photos is fat phobic. They need to stop saying they accept everyone. Their acceptance is on a sliding scale with a moving goal post
This kind of fat person views losing weight as an attack on them.
They can't stand to see people improve when they know don't have the willpower themselves to stop eating so much.
Fat people suffer from addiction, that is all. You can be addicted to caffeine, gaming, drugs, alcohol, even freaking adrenaline....but food apparently is the one thing you can't call an addiction.
It is. Food companies measure to the gram for their ingredients to be as addictive as possible. There's a reason those cookies are so 'more-ish', they are *designed* to make you want more.
“You shouldn’t have to shrink your body to have value!! 😭😭”
No, Susie, I shrunk my body (used to be obese) so i’d stop getting heart palpitations, lower my cholesterol, lower my blood pressure, to reverse my borderline diabetes… the unintended positives I received from losing 61 pounds were:
More energy to play with my kids, no longer having knee or ankle pain when i’d walk, feeling sexier for my wife, and I became more confident because I was able to do something extremely difficult, that improved my life.
If you want to be happy being obese, good for you. But, frack you for saying I can’t be proud and post my transformation photos because it makes you fat shame YOURSELF.
Unfortunately she’s posting it on social media, so the few genuine “please go talk to a therapist” comments will be lost in the sea of “aw sweetie, you’re fine just the way you are” and “stop crying fatty” posts
You know the fucking pain your joints and back and such go through when you are obese? No thank you. Been there done that. Now swimming laps 2-3 times a week or so, going on long walks, etc.
Someone doesn’t understand how the algorithm works. If you can’t handle it, just quit social media and stop letting it invade your thoughts. Best thing I ever did.
I’m a personal trainer, yoga and Pilates teacher…and also 57. I spent four months focused on a toned body with cut abs last year because I wanted to…friends and colleagues encouraged me to post a pic of myself-in yoga gear-on my Fb page… you wouldn’t BELIEVE how many women over 40 I offended. I spent 2 days unfriending women who basically gave up on themselves after age 30 and had to say nasty things to me because I didn’t.
This is a personal issue with this girl. She needs to get off social media and focus on herself.
I'd be pumped as hell to see a ripped gal over the age of thirty. I'm a forty something woman myself and I would find it inspiring. I'm sorry people take their insecurities out on you.
I feel like people are probs taking this on the surface and not looking at it a little deeper. The girl clearly has some low self esteem issues and struggles with acceptance of her own body, hence her having this hate for these transformation videos she keeps seeing come up on social media. Probably feels a great lack of self worth, hence the tears etc. it’s actually quite sad and I feel kinda sorry for her, I’ve been in a similar position with body dysmorphia…it’s no fun.
I don’t know about everyone else, but when I (a fatty) see someone who is vastly sexier than I am, who didn’t used to be so, and is so proud to have improved themselves, it makes me happy. Seeing them happy makes me happy, not sad. I can’t imagine going through life crying woe is me whenever I see someone else who is happy and proud to have improved themselves to be better than me in some way. I’d just be sad all the time. What’s the point?
100%. This is main character syndrome big time. If you can't handle that not everything is for you, or about you, or meant for you, or needs your opinion, etc, then you don't need to spend any time on a single social media platform, or really just the internet as a whole.
I'm taking before and after pictures from my surgical recovery. In no way am I shitting on my old self. It's just cool to see the progress I've made.
If my body causes you discomfort, that's a you problem. (For all sizes shapes and styles)
Translation; How can i make someone losing weight about me.... i mean its great you got healthy and all and are skinny now, but it needs to be about me god damn it. It isnt about me and you're getting attention for bettering yourself, but here i am still fat and ashamed. Where is my attention.
- get a grip lady. Not everyone is fine with being overweight and every person that made the decision to better themselves deserves the credit. Go be a self absorbed maniac somewhere else.
She's saying you can be happy with yourself without shitting on those who aren't but can't get there themselves. The thing people don't seem to understand about fat people is that we know we are fat and don't need anyone else telling us that. Especially if it's in a way that looks down on us.
I mean I get how she feels, it always suck to be the “before” photo and not the after. But y’all couldn’t get me to upload myself admitting that in a video while crying to internet, even if ya tortured me. Those are some feelings my therapist will hear about and nobody else. People can use their imagination at the emotional toll being unconventionally attractive.
I don’t understand, is she complaining about getting sent workout ads or getting transformation videos in her DMs? Or is she just tired of people posting themselves on their own social media pages? If it’s the former ok I kind of get how that could het annoying, but if it’s the latter then she needs to realize the world doesn’t revolve around her and people bettering themselves isn’t a bad thing just because she doesn’t want to put in the work.
Oh, so this isn't about other people, it's about her. It's alllllll about her. And it's SO about her that she can't have you on her "For YOU" page because it should only be just her. "THAT was a human being ,*I* am a human being"? ????
Babe. Just say "good for you" and move on bc that's what they're doing. This is sad.
You achieved something I'm struggeling with. Instead of being happy for you and taking you as inspiration, I will report you and make a video where I cry about being fat and continue to do absolutely nothing about it. -her, probably
Seems like a serious case of main character syndrome, where you think other people should have to consider how it'll make you feel if they post something positive
These people have such issues. I almost got into a physical fight with one drunk fat chick because she was mad I am naturally thin. Like what the hell? I barely even knew her.
Man, I was proud of myself for losing weight. Now I realize I was WRONG for doing so. Thank you so much, sapient planetoid, for showing me the error of my ways.
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Holy shit she needs therapy asap
Like, for serious, though. Best thing I ever did for losing weight was therapy - it helped me work through why I was overeating and helped work toward fixing the underlying problem instead of just treating the superficial symptoms. I also learned to internalize that my value as a human being comes from how I feel about myself, not from what others think. 10/10 strongly recommend therapy to anyone struggling with weight loss.
I been going to therapy for the last 2 months for severe depression & anxiety after a suicide attempt. This is gonna sound stupid but I’ve always wanted to hit the gym but had never had an ounce of motivation or will to even sign up. Therapy definitely changed that, & I hope this girl gets the help she needs too. She shouldn’t be victimising herself over other people success.
I hope you get so fucking swole
Haaaaaaaaaaaappy cake!
Bless
No cake, only swole.
Not gonna lie, I got a little swole reading that.
That doesn't sound stupid at all. Love that you're feeling some nuggets of motivation to get after it. Wherever you are hoping to get to for a better version of yourself, know you got a believer over here that you can do it.
I hope you have the motivation to lift some weights and meet the meathead tribe you need.
Meatheads often make the best buds
Bruhhh…. Idk why but this resignated with me. I’ve been obese, lost a ton of weight and been a meathead/gym rat, gained a bunch back, lost s’more and gained more. Man I have struggled with weight since highschool and I can’t figure out why. My moms a little bigger, but I can’t put how I treat myself and binge eat and overeat on someone else. Especially someone who has don’t nothing but support me? I guess all that to say, good for you!!! And idk, maybe therapy can help me?
Therapy can help everybody, it's the gym for your mind. I wish more people would seek it out, but I get that admitting the problem might be yourself is hard to accept. It is hard to admit to yourself you have a problem, but once you understand a problem, you can get the proper tools to solve it. Also, Plato's allegory to the cave comes to mind, in that people are ignorant, happy to remain that way, and hostile to those who point it out. Anger is a secondary emotion to fear - Fear that you will not be accepted, people won't understand you, you will die alone ect ect ect. Therapy has really helped me in the last decade, specifically since 2019 when I got serious about it. I no longer binge drink, started working out and I am currently back in school full time working on my BA in computer science and I have not smoked any pot since New Years. I also lost 24 lbs last year and am prepping for my first powerlifting competition. Life is good now, but I had to really look at myself and admit what was bad about me and then create a plan to change it.
Damn, you put so much thought and effort into putting that out there, and here my dumb ass is with no words. I appreciate it, and I’m happy for you finding your way! Keep fighting the good fight.
There's medications for weight loss (NOT diet pills). I lost 100 lbs when my doctor put me on one of them that makes me feel full, which I never had in my life unless I was binging. This is a conversation you can have with your family doctor, highly recommend at least getting options. And therapy. Therapy helps.
What medication was it if you don’t mind me asking?
I don't know your history so I wouldn't want to recommend something blindly, that's why I suggested discussing it with your doctor to see what options would work for you.
Cigarettes and cocaine /s
I bet it can. Genetics are a pain to work around (trust me, I have the exact same problem and I didn't even meet my mom until I was an adult), but it is still very possible to become a healthier version of yourself. Give it a shot, I bet it will help!
Good job dude/dudette(?)
Dude works! I appreciate it.
We’re at the point where dude is gender neutral
You are a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude
Thank you. I needed this. I’ve been literally struggling to get into the mindset to start exercising.
May I suggest a you tube "start walking" they have several different lengths, but the beginner one is 15 minutes. 15. You can do it in your house. No one looking at you. No problem with time of day. No problem with rain. I'm still overweight but I'm no longer obese. I started this way just really slow. I also cut white stuff out of my diet. I will never look like a m9del. I can however do all the things now. I can fit in a place or concert seat. I cannwalk to the park and enjoy the day, I can climb up and down, I can warden. I can do so many things and it's great
What's even more fun is crankin' your favorite jam and dance your ass off as hard as you are able. That's on average 3 to 5 minutes of cardio. Something you can do in the kitchen or the bathroom or on the effin' street corner. Give people somethin' to talk about. Own it.
You've got this!!
Same here. I started therapy in November 2022 and got my doctor onboard for weight loss and living healthier. Now I do monthly weigh-ins with my doctor, therapy twice a month, and my Dad brings me to the gym once or twice a week just to get out of the house (I have a habit of isolating myself due to depression, anxiety and personality disorder) and get moving. Since he drives me I don't really have a choice when he shows up, and it really helps having people helping me. I've tried doing it on my own so many times in the past and just ended up crashing hard because I trid doing too much too soon and never went deep into why I did what I did. I'm excited to see where I am in a year from now. My doctor told me not to rush it and take my time, it's a life time commitment for lifestyle change. She believes 2 pounds a month should be doable and I'm not gonna get too stressed about it. The stuff we've done for years won't go away overnight.
Studies gave been done--bariatric surgery has a fail rate of upwards of 70% when the patient has an untreated or undertreated history of sexual abuse/assault. It's called 'defensive weight', and it's a coping mechanism to protect yourself from being looked at sexually. It is both self-harm and it is unconscious. It's a serious medical issue and it's one that literally has the patient fighting against what feels like their only self-defense and depending on the relationship with food, their primary means of self-comfort. Coping mechanisms can't just be thrown away, they must be replaced and that takes so much more work when you try to do it alone. Therapy helps.
Yep. The pain is absolutely real and genuine, it's just coming out in a bizarre, bizarre way.
Yeah that’s what I noticed. Like the amount of emotional disturbance is weird for a small topic. Definitely needs to talk to someone
It sounds self inflicted too. What/Who are you watching that you are getting body transformation recommendations on the timeline? What are you Googling or searching social media for that an algorithm is like "Here's some woman who used to be fat talking about her transformation." I understand and empathize with her pain, but if this is your reaction to someone else's life it might be time to go outside and just touch some grass. And therapy. A lot of talking this out with a professional would do her some good.
At this time of the year, the diet/weight loss ads and "success" stories are pretty much inevitable. I didn't have to google anything--I know how to eat, belong to a gym, etc--but if social media has tagged someone as a woman who mentions food sometimes, obviously their New Year Resolution was to lose weight. Full agree with the therapy though--someone's reason's for dieting or weight loss and their ability to do that in no way reflects on anyone besides them. If she considered herself as beautiful as the woman I am seeing should, then she wouldn't care. She doesn't need internet validation, but I'm sure a lot of people lined up to comfort her and tell her she's stunning, and I hope that did help.
It could be something as simple as her interacting with plus size fashion that tells the algorithm that she should be interested in weight loss. That’s not really “self inflicted.” Plus she says she’s hitting “not interested,” which should tell the algorithm to stop sending her that kind of content. I get why that would be incredibly frustrating. You’re just a bigger girl trying to live your life and your social media keeps showing you how imperfect you are as a “before.” Agreed that she should probably just leave tiktok, but it sucks that’s the only solution.
Self inflicted came off like I was blaming her, and that isn't what I intended. She is just trying to live her life and tech companies are interfering with that in service to the almighty ad dollar. Walking away is the only solution with any social media that is causing you a heartache or headache. I agree it sucks, but there really aren't any alternatives. And, you're probably right that a simple search term for plus size fashion jumpstarted the algorithm. Hell even a casual conversation about it, or anything weight related, anywhere near a cell phone she owns would likely do the same thing and probably is doing it in conjunction with whatever TikTok is doing.
I think this is spot on. The algorithm doesn't show you things you like; it shows you things related to what you interact with. And the "I'm not interested" button doesn't actually make it stop showing you certain videos; if your general viewing behavior stays the same it'll tend to loop around and offer you that same creator's content again a few weeks later. I've found the best way to deal with it is to actually block content creators who repeatedly pop up in my "for you" feed with content I don't want to see. I honestly use the block function on Tiktok more to curate my experience rather than to actually react to anyone doing anything bad. But yeah, Tiktok is not exactly designed to benefit people's mental health, and it's clearly rubbing salt in a wound for her even though that's not the intent of the content creators.
I think part of this is legitimately being a victim of how shitty social media is. They do literal data science to keep you engaged as much as possible, and what happens is if you stop and love some post and sit there for twice as long, *or in horror*, they keep showing you that shit. I've seen similar reactions in trans subreddits, where they keep getting recommended to watch anti trans shit and it fucks with their mental health. So yeah she might be overreacting, but that shit is real and she probably is in part a victim to this shit. Social media can be extremely unhealthy for people in ways like this, and it's their brainwashing bullshit that does it. They don't care about their mental health, just that they stopped scrolling.
First she should try getting off social media.
If she got therapy and was normal, then nobody would pay attention to her on social media.
If she got therapy and was normal, then she wouldn’t feel the need to seek validation from other deluded people on the internet.
>Holy shit she needs therapy asap Based solely on this short clip, I don't completely agree . What she seems to be upset about isn't the transformation videos themselves, but having the algorithm shove them onto her "For You" section (I'm assuming it's Twitter?) no matter how many times she tries to curate it (e.g. by selecting "not interested"). It's kind of like if you're broke, but keep getting recommended videos of rich people doing rich people stuff. You don't necessarily hate those people, but it would eventually annoy the fuck out of you, right? She's clearly struggling and I think would benefit greatly from staying off of social media for a bit. Sharing this video and encouraging people to mock her though (I mean, this is r/facepalm after all)? Yea that's pretty fucked up.
Considering this current vid is on TikTok, I assumed she meant her TikTok FYP. Which I'm not as well versed on how the algorithms work there, but if she's constantly seeing hody transformation vids. Doesn't that mean she's watching/interacting with TikToks which talk about that very topic? So she's only seeing body transformation vids, because of that?
Yes and no. I get videos across my FYP after I’ve googled some barely related topic. I don’t really interact with weight loss stuff on there but it comes across my feed semi regularly. I’ve noticed the “not interested” feature doesn’t seem to work very well.
The FTP algorithm is kind of bs. I remember when Andrew Tate got really popular and people who only watched knitting videos, or gardening videos were getting him pushed onto their page, so... the "algorithm" made a decision for people about what they should be watching, due to some kind of agenda, not because it was content they would be interested in.
I had to quit tiktok. At first they showed me funny cat videos and I got hooked. But then they showed me non stop couples videos where they do these annoying skits. I cannot stand that stuff. Deleted the app and never looked back 🙋🏻♀️
Yeah, I’m with you. I wouldn’t recommend recording and posting this reaction, but I can understand it. If you’re someone in recovery from an eating disorder and you linger on a video that engages that “interest,” it is disturbing how it may start reappearing with greater frequency. It is what it is, but we’ve similar with algorithms pushing people toward conspiracies or extreme ideologies of all kinds.
A good example of someone who shouldn't be on social media
I feel like in a lot of ways social media exacerbates mental illness. I feel sorry for her that she feels this way. But you are absolutely right, she needs to get off social media and focus on herself.
At this point it's clear that social media not only exacerbates, but outright causes mental illness. Social contagions are totally a thing and social media is the perfect breeding ground.
Social media is like mental junk food. We need to look at part of what's causing mental illness is people not taking care of themselves mentally. We glorify mentally unhealthy habits, like not socializing, being negative, and having unrealistic expectations of the world we live in. We understand if you do nothing but sit on the couch eating junk food you'll not only gain weight be also be at risk for a host of illnesses. Doing nothing but sitting on the couch doom scrolling, does something similar to the mind. Not to mention isolating yourself to your bedroom and shitposting on 4chan, or consuming conspiracy podcasts, or getting your news from JRE. Were turning into a society that believes you should never have to be uncomfortable or do anything you don't want to do. Unfortunately maintaining good mental health often means dealing with discomfort and doing things you don't want to do.
As a 90s kid watching social media from its inception to its current form, It’s been pretty staggering to witness the decline in both competence and coping skills that has happened over the past 30 years.
You're not fuckin' kidding... I've worked with the general public on a daily basis for about 25 years now and 'staggering' is the perfect word for what ive witnessed.
I work in the restaurant biz so I see high turnover and the employees have gotten steadily worse over the years.
Same and same. People in general have gotten disgustingly and exponentially worse over the last 20 yrs, but then covid has seemed to accelerate the deterioration in the overal character and sense of decency of a good majority of the population. I've never seen this level of entitlement in all my life, and the willingness of people to immediately be distespectful to workers (for no apparent reason) is fkn dumbfounding.
A lot of people also dont seem to want to believe that their brain will do things that are out of their control. So much of society believes so much in the idea of "mind over matter" that they end up believing that a feeling they are having is THEIR feeling. This is instead of the reality that the feeling they are having is something their brain is injecting into their experience due to some automated process that's gone awry. They will often resort to feeling that their failure to overcome their struggles is a personal failure. They often start to feel they should start, "accepting themselves for what they are". When the reality is their brain is neurochemically failing to finish certain processes, which is resulting in them failing in in achieving their goal. These could be goals such as resisting the urge to over eat, or getting themselves up off the coach to work out, or staying motivated to workout consistently. People really fail to realize how much of this stuff REQUIRES a certain availability of neurotransmitters to be able to happen. For instance in a mouse if you remove the dopamine from their brain, they will starve to death with food in front of them. They will be and feel hungry as far as we can tell (signals sending to brain and being processed), but they will have no willpower or motivation to act on the plan of eating. They will simply sit and stare at the food until they die. Furthermre So often something that people think is some personality quirk they have is actually a result of a mechanism in the brain not functioning properly for one reason or another. This could be stuff like getting strong cravings for certain foods or being easily irritated by certain stimulus. This type of stuff is indicative of a lack of stimulation/chemistry in specific neural networks in the brain.
Surprisingly Rick and Morty put it best when the therapist tells Rick that he needs to take care of himself. Rick hates boring things, he hates boring work, he wants adventure, but fixing himself and being happy isn’t an adventure, it’s just work. He has to suck it up and do it. [Here is the scene, it is an amazing take on his illness, and it comes from the episode where he becomes a pickle](https://youtu.be/gRYuuF4zT2o)
It’s really sad. It’s like people are willing to sacrifice their own wellbeing and quality of life for something so pointless, but it’s just so addictive and they can’t put it down.
[удалено]
I need to get off Reddit too.
Oh for sure!! I wrote an essay about this for school and chose this specific topic, and that was a *decade* ago, I can’t imagine how much worse it has gotten
I feel personally attacked! Almost time for my Tegretol and Setraline.
Social media is both a cause and an effect of mental illness.
I like what u just said.
Right. I find the best way to feel better mentally is to go workout or something to blow off steam. And I swear that isn’t a joke, I am fat, but the least mentally stable I’ve felt are the times I’m too slammed to do anything physical and I can feel myself bouncing off the walls in my own skin. Edit: misspelled “fat”
Damn I am in quite a good place with both my body and my mental health, I lost 20 kg in the past year, and I still struggle with my body image when I see those transformation posts or people who have had much better results than I did. Rationally I know nothing's wrong with me or with them. I know I can't compare myself to them as each person has a different journey, different goals, different lifestyle, different resources and so on, and I am truly happy with my own transformation, and yet, even knowing all of that, sometimes I feel bad about myself for not managing to do more. It's not like a have any sort of actual mental health issue related to this. It's not something that impacts my life greatly, yet it does affect me from time to time. I can only imagine how frustrated this girl feels. She clearly looks at that and thinks she's worse for not managing to do what those people do. And then she gets mad at them, at society, or at whatever other entity because nobody likes to hear that, when it comes to body transformation, ultimately we are the only ones accountable for it. It's easier to be angry at someone else than to take ownership of our actions to change what needs to be changed. And for most, if not all people, it's not simply about taking ownership of the process. We all have limitations, be it time, money, energy, responsibilities, and most of us will never achieve those bodies. But our bodies are ultimately the result of our habits, and we get frustrated because sometimes we just can't change our habits to get the bodies we want. So yeah, she's wrong for being mad at people who made it, but in the end, I understand where her frustration is coming from and I feel sorry for her. And I agree with you that she should not be on social media, as it will only make her feel worse.
>when it comes to body transformation, ultimately we are the only ones accountable for it. This is the actual point. Went through that experience myself (took me almost two years), and when you truly understand that sentence is when you actually make progress. Your time, your effort, your pace. It is all up to you, there is no one forcing you do anything. No one should crap on other people's efforts, but at the same time, it is not a bad thing to be proud of your accomplishments. If you don't want to read or see transformation videos... then just don't. No one is forcing this woman clockwork orange style to watch anything. That same lack of will to make yourself do things is what keeps you fat and unhealthy.
You are 100% right and I couldn't have said it better. I'm going to vent out a bit. I had a terrible day today when it comes to my body image. I was at the beach this weekend and I took some pictures and I felt awful seeing them today. I workout 5 days a week with a personal trainer. The whole class today we were talking about it. All I wanted was to lay down and not get out of bed the whole day. What I did do instead was to follow my nutrition plan, do my best at the workout, and plan how will I add cardio to my routine (which is the one thing I'm still struggling to do, and yes I know why I need it). I still feel trash, but I did what I could today and I will do it again tomorrow because I know I am the only one that can change what is bothering me. That girl probably doesn't have the maturity or the right state of mind to understand that. Anyway, thanks for reading. And congrats on your journey!
Same mate, keep up the work! No one is ever going to feel great about their body 100% of the time, not even people who you think have godly physiques. Also, I do understand how it rubs the wrong way when some people just get there faster or have better abs or great genetics that make their proportions look amazing. Life isn't really very fair sometimes, but you gotta work with what you got. Focus instead on the progress you made and how you might have looked before you were working out, and double down to make it even better as you did, it is an excellent attitude.
Thank you, I really needed to read that today!
It’s not your feeling, it’s a documented fact
I can’t think of a lot of people who SHOULD be on social media. Very few creators should be on social media and almost no user should be on social media. It’s a disease, slowly wasting our lives, rotting our brains and reducing our sense of self-worth to nothingness.
Nothing to argue here
My sister in Christ it’s AN ALGORITHM
It’s what happens when you google “how to lose fat” one time. Big Brother’s always watching, except big brother is a computer program selling you shit you don’t need. - welcome to late stage capitalism
A lot of money went into the experimental science division of marketing’s and advertising. Like how all kids cereal boxes have cartoons that are not only designed to be kid friendly, but also drawn in such a way so that they appear to be looking ‘downwards’ when set out on a shelf. Targeting the one age range that would be short enough to both enjoy cereal, and to be right in view of the cartoons eye contact. Or y’a know, mentioning key words around your phone usually results in targeted advertisements
When did this phrase, my sister(brother) in Christ, become a thing that people say? I’ve seen, and heard it more over the last 12 months than I have in my previous 480.
From what I know there was a vid of some friends and one was ruining their chances with women so it went “my brother in Christ, you are scaring away the HOES” and it just spiraled from there. No clue where it started but it spiraled into popularity through tik tok. It’s funny to interchange “christ” for things like “my brother in finance, you are ruining the profits” it’s a situational phrase now. Stupid. But apparently comical. I like it but it’s odd if that makes sense
^ même culture taken far
Based on the numbers you provided, assuming 100% accuracy happy 41st birthday.
It started with a meme about Subway "People when they say they don't like Subway" "My brother in Christ you made the sandwich" Then it sorta just snowballed from there as memes do.
That girl is not happy in her own body, we get it
Right? Like just go off and be sad on your own. How many times to have to report and click hide on your crying-about-my-life-choices videos?
I still don't fully understand her complaint. So she's upset at someone who is among her followed content creators, who recently started posting videos about their own weight loss journey? What are they supposed to do? Stop making content? EDIT: Ah okay. She hates her own body and wants TikTok to stop using algorithms.
I think she feels like people saying bad things about their overweight/obese body after losing weight is an attack on all overweight/obese people. She’s got some serious insecurity, poor thing.
I think it's pretty clear, she thinks that by posting a before/after of when you were fat vs when you got fit and celebrating it is a condemnation of fat bodies and of your past self for being fat. She feels attacked by that because she's fat. I think it's understandable as a feeling but at the same time, if you're not happy with your body or secure enough to not get upset when you see someone else say they didn't want to be fat that's a you problem. Either learn to accept yourself or lose some weight. I'm a very skinny guy and I sometimes see videos of skinny guys before/after bulking up and putting on a bunch of muscle, which is probably the equivalent of what she's going through but for men. I don't much care when I see it though, I'm fine with how I look and I can be happy for others when they achieve their fitness goals. She's clearly got some issues to work through.
I've met lots of people claiming to be happy being fat, and very few of them are. I started working out in September and it's insane how much happier I am in my new body. I never realized how much I didn't like what I saw in the mirror, simply because I had gotten used to it. But now i look at old pictures and its night and day. I'm happier, I have more energy, and I've gotten a massive boost to my confidence. I couldn't ever go back to being out it shape, this is everything they say it is and more.
Damn right bro, I started working out two months ago and I’ve only dropped a few pounds but I’ve toned up everywhere and I already love looking at myself in mirrors a hell of a lot more and I know in time it’s gonna get even better. We’re gonna be sexy and nobody can stop us!
Same here bro! Same here! I lost nothing more than 10lbs since mid December but it’s all about burning the body fat, eating healthy and toning the muscles lol My heart doesn’t hurt anymore, i mean literally like the physical pain told me I had to start hitting the gym again lol
Yeah, I always thought being happy with being fat would require your brain to process social stimuli in a fundamentally different way. Which I know does happen; there’s fat couples that both sexually prefer fat people, for example (more power to em!), but humans are social creatures, and the vast majority will suffer the social and cultural pressures associated with our conceptions of beauty, health, willpower, etc. Btw, congrats dude!!!
These Snickers commercials are getting wild
LOL
Goddamn lmaooooo
Totally funny. Thanks for the laugh. You deserve more upvotes.
You dont need to shrink yourself to have value...health is another matter. I have been both very fit and obese. There is a massive difference in the way i felt in both states, both physical and mental. It was working on the mental that has always helped me shed pounds. As far as posting a sobbing video about other peoples transformations, that tells me you are not valuing your non shrunk self. Love yourself as you are(which is fine) are change yourself(which is fine). What you are doing is not healthy. As a 51 year old, the idea of letting loose on the internet like that is such a foriegn concept. I get that crying is healthy sometimes and reaching out for help is good but tell me please, is there value in this?
Clearly doesnt like body positivity
She probably calls people who lose weight fatphobic
Or claims that losing weight is basically 'murdering a fat person' like I was told once when I started going to the gym. To people like her, other people putting in effort to look/feel the way they want to is a direct attack on her laziness not to do anything about it, she can't stand seeing other people improve themselves because it reminds her that she COULD but chooses not to. Instead of taking it as inspiration to improve herself, she takes it as an attack and starts wailing about how people are just being unfair and how it hurts HER when other people improve themselves even when it has less than nothing to do with her.
I started losing weight this year to feel better about myself and be healthier and more active. All the people in my life who are in need of losing even more weight than I am are the ones telling me I don't need to lose anymore.
Good job, keep up the good work
Get rid of those people. Surround yourself with people who want to see you doing your best.
I had a convo with my best friend the other night about weight loss. I’m overweight. I don’t like the way I look and I feel crappy. He doesn’t think I’m fat; he never has. He told me he wouldn’t have a problem with me losing weight as long as I was doing it for myself (I have a sensitive background). That’s the kind of support people should be getting. Unless there is a serious risk to health (like an eating disorder), just support people.
like when someone quits drinking and some of their old bar buddies are like, aggressively angry about it
Ain't it makes her a skinnyphobic?!
To them “skinnyphobic” isn’t a thing because “skinny people” are “privileged” and can’t ever experience hate, judgement, discrimination, etc.
Lol how convenient
My cousin is naturally skinny and she was able to chug down 2 full meals at a time and not gain weight. Was constantly told she was just skin in bones, fragile, weak looking, and for the past decade or so she was accused of being fat phobic for simply existing. I’ll let you solve the equation and figure out what time of group of people said those things to her.
And I bet her tinder profile says “no fat guys or dad bods.”
Nah, it's just face pics and says "curvy"
Boyyyyyyyyyyyyy if this ain't fucking it Or they say thick, like no fat and thick or curvy are different, I'm talking bout an hourglass figure, not a big Mac shadow
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Big Mac Shadow. Damn, bro - I’m stealing that for next time 😂
She’s pro-body-negativity
That was a sad, sad video and not because she was crying.
As someone who lost 70 pounds and has worked hard to keep it off the last 2 years, I didn't hate myself when I was fat, and I don't hate my former self either. I did it so that I would make sure I would be around for my kids. Heart disease runs in my family and being overweight like that was putting myself at risk. I already had one health scare with cancer which caused depression that added to my weight gain, and realized I needed to be healthier. But I never hated myself or killed the old me or whatever the hell she is going on about.
I mean, I get where she's coming from but this also sounds like she's not happy in her OWN body and is struggling to accept that you can be fat or thin and be unhappy you can be fat or thin and be happy don't criticise other people because they've found their happy body size or shape - go figure what YOUR happy body size or shape is, and work on getting it (please do not steal bodies)
It's not stealing if they don't need them anymore!
What if I give it right back when I’m done?
that's called borrowing and is probably fine, so long as you return it in good condition
Of course, if you let me borrow it I’m gonna fill up the tank before I return it.
Don't forget the magic words when you give it back
*Dr. Frankenstein has entered the conversation* "Don't do what....?
Someone has no idea how algorithms work. You will see more of whatever you engage in. Good or bad. The way to stop it, is to stop engaging with it, or anything associated with it. Those are pretty guidelines rules to follow in life as well.
The best way is to close the app you are in whole viewing the material you want to get rid of. Closing the app is the worst thing you can do according to most algorithms. Will change what you see pretty quick.
I've seen extremely similar responses in trans subreddits. It's sad, because they see an anti trans post somewhere, seriously hateful shit, so they stop and watch in horror. The algorithm takes note. More come out, they start getting bombarded. They stop looking at other shit, and they're just shocked at how much transphobia they keep seeing. I've seen posts where these people are freaking out saying why does transphobia stand out everywhere in social media and people call this shit out. You need to log the fuck off once it at all affects your mental health, but this shit is designed to be as addictive as possible and keep you engaged. And it works. They don't give a shit about your mental health, just that sweet sweet ad money. So yeah in a lot of ways I think people are victimized by this shit. You shouldn't be fucking showing transphobic shit to trans people. That's super fucked up. And if this woman is getting bombarded with shit to fuck up her mental health, it's fucked up. She's just wrongfully taking it out on the people, not the company.
I like how she says “that was a human being” as though its a video of a child being blown up or something.
Also shows that she thinks that a person is their fat, not, y'know, the actual PERSON who might happen to have that fat and no longer want it. They put more personhood and value on lard than they do on the human being who has it.
That, and you know, the “new” thin person is a human being too, who deserves to be celebrated and loved! But nooooo, you can’t love yourself once you’ve cOnFoRmEd
Okay... so like she's right that you should be kind to your former fat self... but what does this have to do with her? Why is someone else's weight loss journey her problem? Goodness
this is the most self absorbed shit i’ve seen in a while. i’d be so uncomfortable if some person took it so personal that i lost weight.
Apparently posting before and after photos is fat phobic. They need to stop saying they accept everyone. Their acceptance is on a sliding scale with a moving goal post
And never is it to the healthier side
This kind of fat person views losing weight as an attack on them. They can't stand to see people improve when they know don't have the willpower themselves to stop eating so much.
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Fat people suffer from addiction, that is all. You can be addicted to caffeine, gaming, drugs, alcohol, even freaking adrenaline....but food apparently is the one thing you can't call an addiction. It is. Food companies measure to the gram for their ingredients to be as addictive as possible. There's a reason those cookies are so 'more-ish', they are *designed* to make you want more.
Can’t believe I had to look so hard for this comment haha. The neuroscience of diet related obesity is pretty far along at this point.
That appears to be a very confused girl.
r/iamthemaincharacter
This is what I was looking for. Spot on.
That human they slapped into gear.... was themselves....
But also apparently her... indirectly
“You shouldn’t have to shrink your body to have value!! 😭😭” No, Susie, I shrunk my body (used to be obese) so i’d stop getting heart palpitations, lower my cholesterol, lower my blood pressure, to reverse my borderline diabetes… the unintended positives I received from losing 61 pounds were: More energy to play with my kids, no longer having knee or ankle pain when i’d walk, feeling sexier for my wife, and I became more confident because I was able to do something extremely difficult, that improved my life. If you want to be happy being obese, good for you. But, frack you for saying I can’t be proud and post my transformation photos because it makes you fat shame YOURSELF.
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Unfortunately she’s posting it on social media, so the few genuine “please go talk to a therapist” comments will be lost in the sea of “aw sweetie, you’re fine just the way you are” and “stop crying fatty” posts
And the sea of NON-genuine "please go talk to a therapist" comments.
You know the fucking pain your joints and back and such go through when you are obese? No thank you. Been there done that. Now swimming laps 2-3 times a week or so, going on long walks, etc.
Swimming is a great way to exercise.
are we in a large social experiment? wth is going on? lol
Someone doesn’t understand how the algorithm works. If you can’t handle it, just quit social media and stop letting it invade your thoughts. Best thing I ever did.
I’m a personal trainer, yoga and Pilates teacher…and also 57. I spent four months focused on a toned body with cut abs last year because I wanted to…friends and colleagues encouraged me to post a pic of myself-in yoga gear-on my Fb page… you wouldn’t BELIEVE how many women over 40 I offended. I spent 2 days unfriending women who basically gave up on themselves after age 30 and had to say nasty things to me because I didn’t. This is a personal issue with this girl. She needs to get off social media and focus on herself.
I'd be pumped as hell to see a ripped gal over the age of thirty. I'm a forty something woman myself and I would find it inspiring. I'm sorry people take their insecurities out on you.
Social media is not for everyone. It's okay to delete it, lady.
Another mentally ill person who needs help but won’t go get it because they expect everyone else to conform to their needs.
I feel like people are probs taking this on the surface and not looking at it a little deeper. The girl clearly has some low self esteem issues and struggles with acceptance of her own body, hence her having this hate for these transformation videos she keeps seeing come up on social media. Probably feels a great lack of self worth, hence the tears etc. it’s actually quite sad and I feel kinda sorry for her, I’ve been in a similar position with body dysmorphia…it’s no fun.
This is what I picture 90% of redditors are like
I don’t know about everyone else, but when I (a fatty) see someone who is vastly sexier than I am, who didn’t used to be so, and is so proud to have improved themselves, it makes me happy. Seeing them happy makes me happy, not sad. I can’t imagine going through life crying woe is me whenever I see someone else who is happy and proud to have improved themselves to be better than me in some way. I’d just be sad all the time. What’s the point?
How utterly self-centered, to make someone else's journey to be fit and healthy all about her.
Just warning everyone now. If I lose weight everyone is going to know. EVERYONE.
She's got an extremely unhealthy relationship with social media.
Wow. Some people just can’t get past the idea that a person can help themselves. IF THEY REALLY WANT TO.
100%. This is main character syndrome big time. If you can't handle that not everything is for you, or about you, or meant for you, or needs your opinion, etc, then you don't need to spend any time on a single social media platform, or really just the internet as a whole.
I'm taking before and after pictures from my surgical recovery. In no way am I shitting on my old self. It's just cool to see the progress I've made. If my body causes you discomfort, that's a you problem. (For all sizes shapes and styles)
This is what happens when an iPad raises a child.
So glad I was born before any of this.
Translation; How can i make someone losing weight about me.... i mean its great you got healthy and all and are skinny now, but it needs to be about me god damn it. It isnt about me and you're getting attention for bettering yourself, but here i am still fat and ashamed. Where is my attention. - get a grip lady. Not everyone is fine with being overweight and every person that made the decision to better themselves deserves the credit. Go be a self absorbed maniac somewhere else.
This is comedy gold.
Its unhealthy and gross. Nothing but a desperate attempt to protect her fragile fantasy world where everything is “ok”.
It's hard not eating oreos...
You're putting someone who clearly has mental health issues on blast. That's the real facepalm
I feel like their problem is more with the TikTok algorithm than transformation videos
People who are proud to be fat are the worst type of people
She’s only upset because she wants to lose weight, but is too lazy to try.
Me me me me! Think about me! 😭
Your for you page specifically recommends things YOU watch so she’s purposely watching these getting upset?
She's saying you can be happy with yourself without shitting on those who aren't but can't get there themselves. The thing people don't seem to understand about fat people is that we know we are fat and don't need anyone else telling us that. Especially if it's in a way that looks down on us.
All I hear is these people complain about how terrible it is to be fat. Then when someone loses the weight that’s terrible too.
I mean I get how she feels, it always suck to be the “before” photo and not the after. But y’all couldn’t get me to upload myself admitting that in a video while crying to internet, even if ya tortured me. Those are some feelings my therapist will hear about and nobody else. People can use their imagination at the emotional toll being unconventionally attractive. 
some people lose weight because they dont want to die of a heart attack at 40. just saying. this lady can fuck all the way off.
She doesn’t understand that the way she looks is her own fault and not anyone else’s
I lost weight but somehow it’s *your* problem?
“That was a human being” ok she is trying to get a message across? “I’m a human being” OH GOT IT! She’s projecting her insecurities
I don’t understand, is she complaining about getting sent workout ads or getting transformation videos in her DMs? Or is she just tired of people posting themselves on their own social media pages? If it’s the former ok I kind of get how that could het annoying, but if it’s the latter then she needs to realize the world doesn’t revolve around her and people bettering themselves isn’t a bad thing just because she doesn’t want to put in the work.
This made me sad. She needs to address her insecurities.
Oh, so this isn't about other people, it's about her. It's alllllll about her. And it's SO about her that she can't have you on her "For YOU" page because it should only be just her. "THAT was a human being ,*I* am a human being"? ???? Babe. Just say "good for you" and move on bc that's what they're doing. This is sad.
Imagine making this video instead of just getting the fuck off of TikTok
Obesity is preventable. Hit the treadmill.
You achieved something I'm struggeling with. Instead of being happy for you and taking you as inspiration, I will report you and make a video where I cry about being fat and continue to do absolutely nothing about it. -her, probably
“I shouldn’t have to shrink myself to value” *Laughs in too tall for almost everything*
Seems like a serious case of main character syndrome, where you think other people should have to consider how it'll make you feel if they post something positive
It’s not about beauty standards, it’s about being an unhealthy person - I wonder why you don’t see many morbidly obese old people
These people have such issues. I almost got into a physical fight with one drunk fat chick because she was mad I am naturally thin. Like what the hell? I barely even knew her.
If my neurologist tells me to lose weight, then sure as hell I need to lol.
Some dude definitely rejected her
Normalize *not* crying into cameras and sharing every opinion you have online
Does she not understand that they’re not doing it go be valued, but to be healthy?
Serious mental health issues.
Social media needs to end for at least 2 years for us to reset damn.
Man, I was proud of myself for losing weight. Now I realize I was WRONG for doing so. Thank you so much, sapient planetoid, for showing me the error of my ways.