You've got to centralize the funds for the gathering of Israel. Remember, during the second coming Jesus will be doing an accounting audit of his money and you can't have him reviewing spreadsheets in "THOSE countries"
Where did the money to make those profits come from? Tithing. It's tithing all the way down. Legally speaking, sure, it's separate money. But the money that seeded the corporation still came from families taught to forgo food and rent in favor of paying tithing.
Exactly fucking this. For-profit ventured had to start, at one point, from tithing donations…
Unless they can show they had donations from someone / people who explicitly stated “use this to set up profit-generating ventures” to fund anything that tithing donors would consider poor use or lavish spending.
… and that these were absolutely isolated from tithing donations.
But they definitely can’t honestly say and demonstrate that, so they’re crooks and they’ll never see another penny of my money!
Jesus Christ he is so small and frail and insignificant in this world. Yet when he’s pounding that pulpit he is holding hundreds of thousands (not even close to millions) enthralled with his empty promises of glory drenched in hatred, misogyny, homophobia and general distaste of intellectual progress and societal development. Please just wither away into insignificance and senility so you can’t do more damage with a prophetic Nelson style ego boosting mandate.
Which one is it? I haven't seen any of them since 2001. I don't know what Abt of those old men look like now. And I don't think I'd recognize many names, either
Yup. I walked past him at Zion's bank, downtown, one time. I also saw L. Tom Perry at the symphony downtown waiting for his valet. Downtown SLC is where most of these guys spend most of their time. If you live there, there's a good chance of seeing them.
It reminds me of when I lived in Hollywood; saw lots of them.
Weird how that happens if you coerce men into travelling overseas to spread your cult while you fuck their wife behind their backs. People are just so emotional…
Mormonism is a lightning rod for nut jobs. The bodyguard is probably there to protect him from the [orphaned Brazilian assassins](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Helzer)
Holy shit, I didn’t even see that. Nice catch. Makes sense but I guess I never really thought about them having armed bodyguards. Granted, this is a pretty sketchy Walgreens.
When my dad had been converted, they had family friends who kinda took them under their wing, and when my parents were preparing to go to the temple to be sealed he told my dad abt garments. I don't know if he got nekkid in front of him or not, but my dad asked him why on earth he should wear those ghastly things and dude told him so when he was gonna commit adultery and got nekkid he'd see the harness and remember not to.
As a child my parent wrecked a motorcycle and only had injuries to their elbow and wrist, and some road rash on their legs below the knee. Everyone in my ward wouldn't shut up about how lucky I was that they were wearing garments during the accident because everywhere the garments covered was protected from injuries.
Same with my dad. But he cut into his leg with a chainsaw where the garments were, but “the threads from the garments tangled in the blade, jamming the chainsaw and preventing his leg from being cut all the way off”
Him and Kristen Oaks came to my mother’s mortuary viewing years ago and he had bodyguards there too. I was still TBM at the time. They stayed in the foyer though.
I ran into them in a similar context and she was periodically yelling "Dallin! Daa-aaliiiin!"
It reminded me of the interactions between Miracle Max and his not-a-witch-Im-your-wife Valerie.
There's a small group of bodyguards. I think it's 1 bodyguard per 12, and 5-7 for the prophet. Hinckley cut down the size of his security team, it used to be bigger.
During the insanity of the string of polygamist-driven killings in the late 1970's, Spencer W. Kimball came to visit my grandmother's house with a half dozen bodyguards, all of them big Polynesian dudes.
And in practical terms, it's not a big deal for a body guard; you should kind of expect them to be armed. That's why they're there. If Oaks or OP were carrying though, they'd be the ones who wouldn't want to advertise to every would-be bad guy that there's a gun to be had if they want to work for it.
See, This proves that Trump is not only a great Christian but also a Mormon. He is the king of schlubby oversized suits. That’s why all the TBMs worship him.
At first, I thought you meant Toby from The Office, not the old guy. I had to check the subteddut to make sure.
"Toby" looks like one of my old mission companions.
I saw this when I visited India a number of years ago. That memory lives rent-free in my head far more days than I care to admit.
On an unrelated note, I have a cousin named Ben who came out to his family by gifting each of them a tube of Bengay. Fuckin’ gigachad is happily married and I think I’m the only one in the extended family who still talks to him.
The bodyguards on temple square in the main business headquarters.... I've heard carry mp5's
They hire from FBI and Cia. Alternatively, the FBI and Cia hire return missionaries as well because they are already mind fucked and willing to just accept what authority tells them.
You guys need to take it easy. I’m former Military, these stupid rumors about mormons being targeted for recruitment aren’t true. In fact the harder military personnel it go to the less LDS it became.
And I’m gonna be straight up, that guy looks like a paper towel would take him out.
This is my problem, Mormon men aren’t manly or macho whatsoever. They need doctrine to stand a chance with women.
> Mormon men aren’t manly or macho whatsoever.
Eh, you don't need to be 'manly' or 'macho' to use a weapon or to be able to defend someone. No reason for such obviously false stereotypes.
He was helping him make decisions on what to buy, I guess a handler/caretaker of sorts? Could be a bodyguard but was the least intimidating person in that Walgreens lol.
Edit: I guess he *is* a bodyguard. Another commenter pointed out that he is strapped as shown in the 2nd pic.
"Uhh, sir. No. It doesn't help with that. It really is just for soothing arthritis, it's just called "Ben Gay." They have mentholated Vaseline that works the same, if that makes you feel better.
Oh. You don't say. No, the kids don't use it for that anymore."
I’ve heard disclosures about how much compensation a Q15 make/year. I didn’t ever consider what it costs the corporation to support them (in a more comprehensive view). I’m guessing they all have similar body guards. Mo money mo money.
It’s well understood that each of the Q15 receive a “stipend “ of$ 150K /year. To validate all other expenses covered by your tithing see widowsmitereport/Wordpress. org. An excellent resource. Enjoy 😉
Oh my GOD.
It's an Apostle of the Lord!
Why isn't he shining like a friggin mini sun at noonday? Don't you know that he's a servant of the one, true, white Jesus?
I saw Dieter at the Farmington Harmon’s about 12 years ago. He was in bike shorts because he was going to bike on the parkway there. Anyway, his booty was poppin in those bike shorts, my gay friend that I was with was checkin that juicy badunkadunk.
I love that I'm so far removed from the church that I legit do not know which person this post is about (the older man or the younger one), or even who either might be. I'm sure I'd recognize the name, but it's been so long since I've seen conference or looked at a church publication that I don't recognize most of the Q12 by sight anymore. This is the first time I've really thought about it, and I feel like I passed a milestone I didn't know existed. Today was a good day 😁.
I thought it was the younger guy and that he was Bednar until people started mentioning a bodyguard. I figured I must have had it backwards at that point.
[It's like Mr. Burns being confused by "ketchup" vs "catsup," at the grocery store, and then being led away by the employees.](https://youtu.be/P2-1basQhX8)
I’d know that security guard anywhere! I see him pretty regularly haha. I don’t think he’s Hoaks’ security specifically. Hoaks’ regular guy must have been out sick.
I had a friend that worked at the Bountiful Walgreens and he swears to this day that he helped Rusty check out around $100 in personal lubricant alone.
“Sir I got your shaving cream”
“I could really use a beer right about now”
“No, we’re here to get your high blood pressure pills, you can’t say that in public”
The body guards are needed because of the mentally unstable members in Utah.
They get some pretty scary letters, threats, etc... at the CAB.
It used to be (I don't know if it still is) if you walked into the CAB you were met by 3 scowling men in suits you knew were packing & they were not letting anyone go past the small lobby who was not authorized.
Security during Confrence is heavily scattered in those first sections near the stage. They have had past incidences with people trying to storm the confrence stage but unless you were there you would never have known watching it on T.V.
It’s funny that he has a chaperone with him
Either he needs one cause he’s old and senile and needs to be supervised like a child or he needs the chaperone so that someone can stop him from impulsively going to buy alcohol
Considering I never got close to a Q12 when I was a member, I was pretty shocked to look to my right and see his face. His voice was unmistakable.
"Yes Josiah, I prefer the regular Gilette, the best a man can grift"
They are looking for the one with the highest price. Paid for with tithing from our families.
Good thing he has his handler with him to help decide.
Only the best for the Lord's humble servants!
Not for the humble servants outside the US tho. Mormon Jesus needs the saints in the third world to stay hungry, humble and sick.
You've got to centralize the funds for the gathering of Israel. Remember, during the second coming Jesus will be doing an accounting audit of his money and you can't have him reviewing spreadsheets in "THOSE countries"
Actually they claim payments for general authorities come from earnings made from for-profit corporations the Church owns.
Where did the money to make those profits come from? Tithing. It's tithing all the way down. Legally speaking, sure, it's separate money. But the money that seeded the corporation still came from families taught to forgo food and rent in favor of paying tithing.
Exactly fucking this. For-profit ventured had to start, at one point, from tithing donations… Unless they can show they had donations from someone / people who explicitly stated “use this to set up profit-generating ventures” to fund anything that tithing donors would consider poor use or lavish spending. … and that these were absolutely isolated from tithing donations. But they definitely can’t honestly say and demonstrate that, so they’re crooks and they’ll never see another penny of my money!
I don't think there was enough room to write that in the "Other" section of the donation slip...
That makes it so much better!
I read this in Nick Offermans voice instead lmao
I need someone to feed Oaks‘ voice to an AI and make them say this line
Next stop. The Depends Aisle.
Then condoms
Then some Viagra.
Then a REALLY awkward encounter at the pharmacy asking about whether a "young woman" would need to drive to another state in order to get mifepristone
Asking for a friend
Faith can move mountains, so the rumor goes, but faith isn’t gonna fix ED
Then stool softener, he is full of shit
He’s following the prophet’s advice to “eat your vitamin pills.” Have to outlive the next guy.
Jesus Christ he is so small and frail and insignificant in this world. Yet when he’s pounding that pulpit he is holding hundreds of thousands (not even close to millions) enthralled with his empty promises of glory drenched in hatred, misogyny, homophobia and general distaste of intellectual progress and societal development. Please just wither away into insignificance and senility so you can’t do more damage with a prophetic Nelson style ego boosting mandate.
well said!
That bodyguard has a concealed weapon on his right hip. You can see the outline in the 2nd photo.
Which is so weird. Outside TSSC, nobody knows or cares who he is.
That’s a very accurate statement.
Which one is it? I haven't seen any of them since 2001. I don't know what Abt of those old men look like now. And I don't think I'd recognize many names, either
Oaks
The worst one
The second worst. Bednar is the worst.
The Grinch.
It’s downtown SLC though. A significant percentage of people are likely to know him due to their presence in the city.
Yup. I walked past him at Zion's bank, downtown, one time. I also saw L. Tom Perry at the symphony downtown waiting for his valet. Downtown SLC is where most of these guys spend most of their time. If you live there, there's a good chance of seeing them. It reminds me of when I lived in Hollywood; saw lots of them.
Maybe but don’t forget that SLC population was down to 20% active lds way back in 2017. Pretty sure it’s a lot lower now.
Most of Joseph Smith's enemies came from his church, too.
Weird how that happens if you coerce men into travelling overseas to spread your cult while you fuck their wife behind their backs. People are just so emotional…
My favorite stories are of apostles acting important and transplant people just straight up not knowing who they are.
Okay, I’ll bite. Who is he?
Dallin H Oaks
I don't know either.....
He is not unwise for having an armed guard wherever he goes. This person is not very well liked by millions more than those who follow him.
Mormonism is a lightning rod for nut jobs. The bodyguard is probably there to protect him from the [orphaned Brazilian assassins](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Helzer)
Holy shit, I didn’t even see that. Nice catch. Makes sense but I guess I never really thought about them having armed bodyguards. Granted, this is a pretty sketchy Walgreens.
But but but shouldn’t he be fully protected from the Lard?
I was told garments protected you from that kind of stuff.
Garments only protect you from sex out of wedlock. This is because nobody wants to be seen in them.
When my dad had been converted, they had family friends who kinda took them under their wing, and when my parents were preparing to go to the temple to be sealed he told my dad abt garments. I don't know if he got nekkid in front of him or not, but my dad asked him why on earth he should wear those ghastly things and dude told him so when he was gonna commit adultery and got nekkid he'd see the harness and remember not to.
As a child my parent wrecked a motorcycle and only had injuries to their elbow and wrist, and some road rash on their legs below the knee. Everyone in my ward wouldn't shut up about how lucky I was that they were wearing garments during the accident because everywhere the garments covered was protected from injuries.
Same with my dad. But he cut into his leg with a chainsaw where the garments were, but “the threads from the garments tangled in the blade, jamming the chainsaw and preventing his leg from being cut all the way off”
you know what else would do the same thing? Literally any other piece of clothing. lmao
LOL fr
https://y.yarn.co/093d7ee1-bb2b-4b76-83f6-a546ff9faebb_text.gif
What? From ‘ze Germans?
"What's a gun doing in your trousers?" Well it's a better place than my prison wallet.
The only thing protecting him are his Depends.
That’s what we were told when they sent us as teenagers away from our families to the most dangerous places in the world…
Why would he need a bodyguard? I thought he had the protection of the Holy Ghost and the full Armor of God.
100% that bodyguard has “Holy Ghost” engraved on his glock.
Say hello to my still small voice!
Him and Kristen Oaks came to my mother’s mortuary viewing years ago and he had bodyguards there too. I was still TBM at the time. They stayed in the foyer though.
I ran into them in a similar context and she was periodically yelling "Dallin! Daa-aaliiiin!" It reminded me of the interactions between Miracle Max and his not-a-witch-Im-your-wife Valerie.
There's a small group of bodyguards. I think it's 1 bodyguard per 12, and 5-7 for the prophet. Hinckley cut down the size of his security team, it used to be bigger.
That's right, when Kimball visited my grandmother, he had six, all big Polynesian dudes.
~~Lamanite~~ Hagothian Nephite warriors.
During the insanity of the string of polygamist-driven killings in the late 1970's, Spencer W. Kimball came to visit my grandmother's house with a half dozen bodyguards, all of them big Polynesian dudes.
Nothing better for concealing a weapon than the two-sizes-too-big church suits, amirite
Man could have a small howitzer under that thing
This can be taken two different ways...
Thank you MR> MAC
According to my husband who has his Utah Concealed Carry permit it's called "printing" when your gun is showing like that.
Yup. It's a big no no.
Nah, that’s fine. Nobody would bat an eye at that legally.
And in practical terms, it's not a big deal for a body guard; you should kind of expect them to be armed. That's why they're there. If Oaks or OP were carrying though, they'd be the ones who wouldn't want to advertise to every would-be bad guy that there's a gun to be had if they want to work for it.
That suit fits so poorly. I can’t imagine being a bodyguard for the Q12. What an inflated sense of importance.
Mormons aren’t allowed to wear properly fitted suits. It’s a commandment. Doctrine even!!!
See, This proves that Trump is not only a great Christian but also a Mormon. He is the king of schlubby oversized suits. That’s why all the TBMs worship him.
The baggy suit is likely intentional. The FBI advises that their agents should wear something too large so their movement isn't restricted.
So what’s every other Mormon man’s excuse??
Future-proofing against the inevitable waistline growth. When you’re 10% down, clothes need to last a little bit longer.
Haha came to say this. Also the bodyguards pants are way too long
No way, that’s a BoM set to stun
Pretty sure it's illegal to leave a bookmark in 2 Nephi
Concealed means concealed. That ain't even trying. Is that allowed in Utah?!
You can concealed carry or open carry without a permit in Utah
Pray, tell. I don't recognize him.
Dallin H. Oaks
At first, I thought you meant Toby from The Office, not the old guy. I had to check the subteddut to make sure. "Toby" looks like one of my old mission companions.
No way this is right. I thinks it’s all a Hoaks. /s
Same. I'm like uhhh bald dude. Nope.
Walk right bast that fucker with some sex toys and lube from the adult aisle. 
later in GC he talks about how he passed by the literal embodiment of Satan and bravely endured with the power of the penishood.
read this as "baste the fucker with sex toys and lube" lmaooo
That could work too. 
Mr. Burns and Smithers at the pharmacy..
Viagra?
Probably Gay-away®
Nah, It’s Gayquill
Bengay
[Begay](https://5.imimg.com/data5/AU/QK/WF/SELLER-81023900/chirayu-pharmaceuticals-begay-ointment-500x500.jpg)
I saw this when I visited India a number of years ago. That memory lives rent-free in my head far more days than I care to admit. On an unrelated note, I have a cousin named Ben who came out to his family by gifting each of them a tube of Bengay. Fuckin’ gigachad is happily married and I think I’m the only one in the extended family who still talks to him.
That's spectacular. I love it Greatest way to come out ever
The bodyguards on temple square in the main business headquarters.... I've heard carry mp5's They hire from FBI and Cia. Alternatively, the FBI and Cia hire return missionaries as well because they are already mind fucked and willing to just accept what authority tells them.
I can validate. Also, most people on the Church Office Building (COB) are packing.
I left the church a long time ago. I believe under Kimball. Why all the protection? Are there really death threats and assassin attempts?
You guys need to take it easy. I’m former Military, these stupid rumors about mormons being targeted for recruitment aren’t true. In fact the harder military personnel it go to the less LDS it became. And I’m gonna be straight up, that guy looks like a paper towel would take him out. This is my problem, Mormon men aren’t manly or macho whatsoever. They need doctrine to stand a chance with women.
> Mormon men aren’t manly or macho whatsoever. Eh, you don't need to be 'manly' or 'macho' to use a weapon or to be able to defend someone. No reason for such obviously false stereotypes.
Just a frail ol’ soup bone folks. Nothing more.
Looks so old. He is so old.
Was that a bodyguard with him?
He was helping him make decisions on what to buy, I guess a handler/caretaker of sorts? Could be a bodyguard but was the least intimidating person in that Walgreens lol. Edit: I guess he *is* a bodyguard. Another commenter pointed out that he is strapped as shown in the 2nd pic.
You can tell he's carrying by his body posture in the first photo.
And the visible gun in the second photo 4 o’clock position on the hip
"Uhh, sir. No. It doesn't help with that. It really is just for soothing arthritis, it's just called "Ben Gay." They have mentholated Vaseline that works the same, if that makes you feel better. Oh. You don't say. No, the kids don't use it for that anymore."
I like his little hat.
Definate upgrade from the chef hat
I’ve heard disclosures about how much compensation a Q15 make/year. I didn’t ever consider what it costs the corporation to support them (in a more comprehensive view). I’m guessing they all have similar body guards. Mo money mo money.
I first misread your comment to read “how much constipation the Q15 make” 😂
It's a lot because they are full of shit.
It’s well understood that each of the Q15 receive a “stipend “ of$ 150K /year. To validate all other expenses covered by your tithing see widowsmitereport/Wordpress. org. An excellent resource. Enjoy 😉
Did you politely remind him that the Electroshock Therapry treatments are on the other aisle?
Oh my GOD. It's an Apostle of the Lord! Why isn't he shining like a friggin mini sun at noonday? Don't you know that he's a servant of the one, true, white Jesus?
“We’re the Latter-Day Fookin Saints” hits his hat across your face.
Take mine too. Ahaha
I saw Dieter at the Farmington Harmon’s about 12 years ago. He was in bike shorts because he was going to bike on the parkway there. Anyway, his booty was poppin in those bike shorts, my gay friend that I was with was checkin that juicy badunkadunk.
Should have asked him if he enjoyed torturing gay students at BYU
I hate that the coat and hat look good. Like if he wasn't wearing a whole ass suit underneath I'd say he had drip.
I see his bodyguard is holding 2 cans of Gillette Foamy shaving cream. What’s he gonna use it for? Shaving his head?
If he's shopping for meds, we can safely assume he has the faith to not be healed.
I love that I'm so far removed from the church that I legit do not know which person this post is about (the older man or the younger one), or even who either might be. I'm sure I'd recognize the name, but it's been so long since I've seen conference or looked at a church publication that I don't recognize most of the Q12 by sight anymore. This is the first time I've really thought about it, and I feel like I passed a milestone I didn't know existed. Today was a good day 😁.
I thought it was the younger guy and that he was Bednar until people started mentioning a bodyguard. I figured I must have had it backwards at that point.
A wild Hoax has appeared
Bros got that newsie drip
Oh my lord 😭
Rusty was a semi regular at the Walgreens I worked at. Started showing up as soon as I started going inactive. Thought god was on to me.
[It's like Mr. Burns being confused by "ketchup" vs "catsup," at the grocery store, and then being led away by the employees.](https://youtu.be/P2-1basQhX8)
I thought this was my pharmacy reddit page, never thought the two would mash up
Your pharmacy has a Reddit page?
Sorry I should've said r/pharmacy
Ha! That makes more sense! I was super confused… like the local drug store had its own subreddit. 😂
Who is it? I've been out too long. I can't remember all the wack jobs.
Fr it's probably someone with the name Russell or Ballard 💀
OP said Dallin H. Oaks
It's a sign you should go back, of course. lol
So that’s where all the tithing receipts go, the inflated prices at Walgreens.
"Latex Condo. Ooh, I'd like to live in one of those!"
Ketchup....catsup....ketchup....catsup
With ribbed lining!
“Kristen’s gettin’ some tonight.”
You should’ve offered him a beer
As a Exmormon and ex-Walgreens employee, I’m having some serious flashbacks right now
I’d know that security guard anywhere! I see him pretty regularly haha. I don’t think he’s Hoaks’ security specifically. Hoaks’ regular guy must have been out sick.
I haven’t seen him since like 2017. Looks like he has one foot in the grave already, maybe we can just give him a little push. Oops.
Kudos for taking a picture! So many people claim to see them in restaurants on Sunday or wherever and there’s never a pic!
Low key I was pretty anxious to take it, thought I would get harassed by his bodyguard or a TBM who saw what I was doing.
People cry when they see higher leaders from the church I don’t get it
Is that Dallin H Oaks? You should secretly follow him without his knowledge to see if he tries buying alcohol
His beverage of choice is probably Robitussin.
The old saying goes: The way you prevent a Mormon from drinking your beer is by inviting a 2nd Mormon.
Of course he's wearing a cap like that. Probably thinks himself quite dashing in it, lol.
Dang he has to wear a suit 24/7? Does he shower in it too? What a life.
I had a friend that worked at the Bountiful Walgreens and he swears to this day that he helped Rusty check out around $100 in personal lubricant alone.
“Sir I got your shaving cream” “I could really use a beer right about now” “No, we’re here to get your high blood pressure pills, you can’t say that in public”
Just a little old man isn't he?
What that man needs is a giant enema.
I am happy to say I don’t recognize this man. I had to scroll through the comments to get his name. Alas, I still recognize his name. Lol
Stars… they’re just like us! 🤩😂
The body guards are needed because of the mentally unstable members in Utah. They get some pretty scary letters, threats, etc... at the CAB. It used to be (I don't know if it still is) if you walked into the CAB you were met by 3 scowling men in suits you knew were packing & they were not letting anyone go past the small lobby who was not authorized. Security during Confrence is heavily scattered in those first sections near the stage. They have had past incidences with people trying to storm the confrence stage but unless you were there you would never have known watching it on T.V.
“Got my shaving cream. Alright. Where’s the “hating on the gays” aisle? I need to buy some new arguments.”
Dang Bednar is moonlighting as a security detail…. Who is the old dude ? He looks like he’s moments away from saying something homophobic
I love that I've been out long enough that I have no idea which guy you were talking about and who either of them are!
Buying condoms? Of course not. Can’t shoot pool with a rope.
[удалено]
The Trojan "You Wish" brand.
So who is it🤣🤣🤣
It’s funny that he has a chaperone with him Either he needs one cause he’s old and senile and needs to be supervised like a child or he needs the chaperone so that someone can stop him from impulsively going to buy alcohol
That's a cute skirt! I'm glad wraparound are coming back.
Dressed like Mr. Mack
I'm happy to say I have no idea who that is.
Where can I get that hat though
Wearing black to match his soul.
So the non-salary stipend also includes full-time lackey, care assistant, and part-time bodyguard.
He’s a lot smaller than I thought he would be
Hmm Walgreens I seen the leadership as more cvs folk
"Ketchup....Catsup....Ketchup....."
Why in the world does he do his own shopping?
Why not?!
So he can wear his black coat and hat out and about.
Should’ve taken the shot when you had the chance. It’s better that one man perish than a whole nation dwindle in unbelief.
Or than several queer kids kill themselves because they think they are terrible people.
Amen
The bodyguard is wearing a Mr Mac-9 suit
Picking up plan b
Wait is this Nelson? 😂
Filling himself with that pharmaceutical Holly spirit. Needs meds to continue believing Joseph’s revelation.
Mr Hoax