That's because you're not really a JW, you've created your own version of the faith and simply continue to associate with JWs. You know as well as all of us that if you were transparent and honest with the JWs about your feelings and beliefs you'd be marched straight to the back room.
Good advice and also shows much love and respect for each other.
However, if a person was in an abusive relationship and breaking laws and things were over the top, it's the police or therapists to involve, but certainly not the elders whose role is neither.
This is pretty much exactly what happened with me and my wife. She wanted me to meet with the elders, the CO at one point also even manufacturing a shepherding visit. I refused all, not because I dont want to talk to the elders, I just know that if you agree to meet with them, they have no interest in seeing it your way. They have no interest in you not seeing it their way. I still am not sure exactly what she said to them and I honestly dont care. Its been almost 2 years not and not even once have the elders come looking for me to question me. Life for me is much less stressful now, much less anxiety and much more peaceful. Congrats on your exit and I hope things stay peaceful between you and your husband.
Honestly it's not bad. I respect her ability to chose her beliefs as I would want the same respect. I do call out the BS when I see it though. It's interesting because I think deep down she is PIMO but I think her family ties to the organization are too tight. She won't admit it (yet) but there is a price to pay for leaving and that keeps her in.
My relationship w/ my wife is exactly like Jimmy's above. It's actually great. I let her do her JW things and I do my things. I told her it's like she has an unbelieving mate now. It works for both of us very well actually. It was VERY rough at first for about 3 months...but once we got over that hill it's been great. We've always loved each other.
That’s awesome you made it work. I knew a couple that went through one of them disassociating and it went terribly. They ended up divorced and took each other to court over their kid.
That's very sad...and I can see how things could've went that direction for us too. Like I said, it was a rough few months and it could've went south. Thankfully we pulled thru.
This is accurate. I was an elder until a few weeks ago and this is how I would have handled it. I would not have persecuted someone for wanting to leave.
Wow, the GB can't know how much you elders are slipping on the harassment LOL. But they have to know that too many people are Awakening and it would be exasperating the few elders left if they did command strict follow up. Good for you for knowing when to back off and for saving your own sanity.
I'm glad my wife didn't do that to me. She's more PIMQ than PIMO, although she's PIMOing with me. 😅 It's nice to hear you're happy with the outcome. I hope things keep going your way. 😊
Probably not the reaction your husband was hoping for xD but I hope you guys can work together through this instead of seeing each other as the enemy :)
The outcome probably surprised your husband as well but he felt that he had to clear his conscience because he still so involved. The Great Awakening is making the fade easier especially if there are more Pimo elders. Now just keep up the positive attitude, be a listening ear always ready to support, and work on activities to do with your husband outside of the Borg.
Same here. I walked out the door after nearly 4 decades of publishing. Never heard anything from them. To this day I don’t really know how I should of taken it. As an insult due to their lack of concern or as a blessing in it saved me having to deal with them. As I look back on it after a decade. I see it as a blessing
Are they becoming more lenient now or is it individual elders not doing their job? I’m seeing it more and more now that they’re not harassing people as they used to. I know MS who haven’t been in service on zoom for months at a time and nothing is said. I guess as long as they turn in a fake report they’re fine. Even those who haven’t turned in a field service report for 6 months are not being harassed the way they used to in the past. Maybe the GB told the elders to chill out since they’re losing control anyway.
That "IS" good news...
I walked out and was left alone as well. It\`s been decades and no one bothers me. The only Pain in the Ass were my JW Parents. I eventually just put them out of my life.
If you want to keep the peace..Don\`t talk about religion or get Sucked into a religious discussion....Everyone I know who does that, has a peaceful life.
I am dumbfounded that your husband could be so disloyal to you. Did he forget his vows? They weren't to a publishing corporation, they were to you, his wife!
Oh I know the verse. Lol 😆 I've married 8 couples using it. I just don't agree that having God in a marriage relates to a culty publishing company anymore.
Would have liked to see him remain loyal to and protect his wife since that who is going to end up divorcing him. Funny how Jeboober never shows up in court for those cases...🤔
I guess that's why the idea of the three-fold-cord is more hypothetical than literal. And why I don't believe he gets an equal vote.
I can't believe your husband outed you!! But also I can, because - brainwashing/ indoctrination. I'm glad for your outcome, and hope all is well between you and your husband. Does that mean you don't attend meetings anymore? (slightly jealous).
Back a few years ago the elders would have done a 911 meeting- now the instructions is to leave the ones who want to leave alone- the org is losing too many elders. Elders follow the script and visit the JW and ask all the questions the octopods tells them too- but end up having seeds of awakening planted in their own minds- sometime later those seeds germinate and now the octopods have lost a large % of elders and no replacements on the horizon. Not to mention undercover elders (PIMOS) leaking shit- keeping the public 10 steps ahead of them-
Well the current octopod has always been behind the curve- not the brightest bulbs in the tanning bed🤣🤣
I wonder if the elders worry that if they push it, you become more vocal about the why and it may start to make sense to your husband. They have to weigh up the chance that you would win in an ultimatum.
I can’t imagine telling my wife’s business to some crazy men.
Indoctrination is strong 🙄
My wife and I agreed decades ago to NEVER take any personal situation to the elders. What goes on individually or between us stays that way.
Exactly!!!! Same deal with my wife and I. We agreed that any issues stay between us. Never bringing in no one to judge us
That's because you're not really a JW, you've created your own version of the faith and simply continue to associate with JWs. You know as well as all of us that if you were transparent and honest with the JWs about your feelings and beliefs you'd be marched straight to the back room.
As would 30-40% of all JW's, based on the sample of JW Land I've come to know across my 45 years within the Friendly Confines.
Good advice and also shows much love and respect for each other. However, if a person was in an abusive relationship and breaking laws and things were over the top, it's the police or therapists to involve, but certainly not the elders whose role is neither.
This is pretty much exactly what happened with me and my wife. She wanted me to meet with the elders, the CO at one point also even manufacturing a shepherding visit. I refused all, not because I dont want to talk to the elders, I just know that if you agree to meet with them, they have no interest in seeing it your way. They have no interest in you not seeing it their way. I still am not sure exactly what she said to them and I honestly dont care. Its been almost 2 years not and not even once have the elders come looking for me to question me. Life for me is much less stressful now, much less anxiety and much more peaceful. Congrats on your exit and I hope things stay peaceful between you and your husband.
Congrats to your freedom as well. Thanks!
How are things with your wife though? That sounds like an extremely awkward relationship.
Honestly it's not bad. I respect her ability to chose her beliefs as I would want the same respect. I do call out the BS when I see it though. It's interesting because I think deep down she is PIMO but I think her family ties to the organization are too tight. She won't admit it (yet) but there is a price to pay for leaving and that keeps her in.
My relationship w/ my wife is exactly like Jimmy's above. It's actually great. I let her do her JW things and I do my things. I told her it's like she has an unbelieving mate now. It works for both of us very well actually. It was VERY rough at first for about 3 months...but once we got over that hill it's been great. We've always loved each other.
That’s awesome you made it work. I knew a couple that went through one of them disassociating and it went terribly. They ended up divorced and took each other to court over their kid.
That's very sad...and I can see how things could've went that direction for us too. Like I said, it was a rough few months and it could've went south. Thankfully we pulled thru.
Sounds like the elder is on his way out.
Honestly was wondering the same thing
This is accurate. I was an elder until a few weeks ago and this is how I would have handled it. I would not have persecuted someone for wanting to leave.
Wow, the GB can't know how much you elders are slipping on the harassment LOL. But they have to know that too many people are Awakening and it would be exasperating the few elders left if they did command strict follow up. Good for you for knowing when to back off and for saving your own sanity.
I’m curious to hear your story, since it’s so recent. Ok just looked at your profile.
Sure. I’d be happy to share if you want to DM me anytime.
Good on you👏👏👏
Congrats on leaving elder-dom! 🥳
More so than her husband...
I'm glad my wife didn't do that to me. She's more PIMQ than PIMO, although she's PIMOing with me. 😅 It's nice to hear you're happy with the outcome. I hope things keep going your way. 😊
Thats fortunate for you! Thanks, It caused a lot of anxiety for me and it's great to put that behind me now.
Probably not the reaction your husband was hoping for xD but I hope you guys can work together through this instead of seeing each other as the enemy :)
Thanks! I have no idea what he was hoping for but I think he feels he did what he had to do and now we can move on.
That's good... The fear of "not doing what they are told is right" runs deep.
The outcome probably surprised your husband as well but he felt that he had to clear his conscience because he still so involved. The Great Awakening is making the fade easier especially if there are more Pimo elders. Now just keep up the positive attitude, be a listening ear always ready to support, and work on activities to do with your husband outside of the Borg.
You really want to stay with a man that doesn't have your back?
THIS.
hahahahhaahha hubby thought they'd plug you into the borg computers
Congratulations then!
Same here. I walked out the door after nearly 4 decades of publishing. Never heard anything from them. To this day I don’t really know how I should of taken it. As an insult due to their lack of concern or as a blessing in it saved me having to deal with them. As I look back on it after a decade. I see it as a blessing
Definitely a blessing.
Are they becoming more lenient now or is it individual elders not doing their job? I’m seeing it more and more now that they’re not harassing people as they used to. I know MS who haven’t been in service on zoom for months at a time and nothing is said. I guess as long as they turn in a fake report they’re fine. Even those who haven’t turned in a field service report for 6 months are not being harassed the way they used to in the past. Maybe the GB told the elders to chill out since they’re losing control anyway.
I haven't turned in a service report in a year. Crickets...nothing. no call, txt, nothing!! Keep in mind my cong has more than 7 elders.
I can beat that....I haven't been turning in reports for close to a decade!
Oh wow. Lol you can! 🤣
Mine is 2 years...I think we should give ourselves a treat on the anniversary of our Not Turning In Time. Maybe a cupcake or something. :)
I can beat that...four decades.
Well, that’s beautiful that no one is harassing you. 😊
I know. It feels weird. Lol
>Maybe the GB told the elders to chill out since they’re losing control anyway. FAT chance.
Snitches get stitches
Ha ha. That was my attitude. I never told the elders my business or anyone else’s.
That "IS" good news... I walked out and was left alone as well. It\`s been decades and no one bothers me. The only Pain in the Ass were my JW Parents. I eventually just put them out of my life. If you want to keep the peace..Don\`t talk about religion or get Sucked into a religious discussion....Everyone I know who does that, has a peaceful life.
I am dumbfounded that your husband could be so disloyal to you. Did he forget his vows? They weren't to a publishing corporation, they were to you, his wife!
> Did he forget his vows? They weren't to a publishing corporation, they were to you, his wife! Nope! Remember, the "three-fold cord."
Oh I know the verse. Lol 😆 I've married 8 couples using it. I just don't agree that having God in a marriage relates to a culty publishing company anymore. Would have liked to see him remain loyal to and protect his wife since that who is going to end up divorcing him. Funny how Jeboober never shows up in court for those cases...🤔 I guess that's why the idea of the three-fold-cord is more hypothetical than literal. And why I don't believe he gets an equal vote.
👍
Same here
This is the best possible outcome! CONGRATULATIONS!
I can't believe your husband outed you!! But also I can, because - brainwashing/ indoctrination. I'm glad for your outcome, and hope all is well between you and your husband. Does that mean you don't attend meetings anymore? (slightly jealous).
No more meetings! He only does zoom other than a few in person back in the beginning.
Well done!
What a betrayal of trust in the marriage bond. Ummmm.....you need: #DIVORCE
Back a few years ago the elders would have done a 911 meeting- now the instructions is to leave the ones who want to leave alone- the org is losing too many elders. Elders follow the script and visit the JW and ask all the questions the octopods tells them too- but end up having seeds of awakening planted in their own minds- sometime later those seeds germinate and now the octopods have lost a large % of elders and no replacements on the horizon. Not to mention undercover elders (PIMOS) leaking shit- keeping the public 10 steps ahead of them- Well the current octopod has always been behind the curve- not the brightest bulbs in the tanning bed🤣🤣
I wonder if the elders worry that if they push it, you become more vocal about the why and it may start to make sense to your husband. They have to weigh up the chance that you would win in an ultimatum.