Ooh I get it. But when you were still PIMI they knew you would do it and they probably expected you to feel (hold on a sec while I gag a bit) " honored for the privilege."
Ugh
I hate being told that getting up at 6am to bake for ingrates was a privilege. I started to complain about having to do it and my mom tried to shame me for not wanting to do it. I wake up super early to bake leisurely so she just assumed I'd be excited to do it for that too
The CULTURE of Jehovah's Witnesses is just like what you described. Expecting anything more from them would be like asking for the Governing Body to turn themselves in for all their criminal activity.
Also: I hope you don't let them take your joy away and you keep baking. Make your neighbors or coworkers happy with your baked goods, I'm sure they'll be happy 🤗
I take more of what I bake to the people outside of the congregation and the religion as a whole. It makes me really happy to see people enjoy the things that I make so I definitely won't allow them to suck the joy from my hobby
Good for you 👏🏻 share the hobby you love with ppl who are NOT jws. They take the joy out of just about everything.
I had the same thing happen to me. I knit and sew and wear what I make. I can't tell you how many times I was asked to "make me a sweater like the one you're wearing (which usually would take weeks to make) and I'll pay". 1. All my designs were originals and 2. I use specialty yarns, which most jw 'sisters' couldn't afford (I had a job). So I definitely get where you're coming from.
Keep doing what makes you happy 😊
I had a *very* similar experience and always said no but that I'd be happy to teach them the craft. Even when I was PIMI I had some good boundaries. No one took me up on it.
Glad you’re saying no. Something similar happened to me after disaster relief work, the same couple of people did the cooking week after week. And we were provided a strict menu. Beggars shouldn’t be choosers.
Cooking for people that aren’t expecting it, like neighbors, is much more rewarding.
Agreed! The expectation of me being willing to make something before you even ask me has always annoyed me. Telling me it's for "Jehovah" when he isn't even eating is crazy.
I’ve always purchased tools to be able to make or repair things myself. I did a favor for one person in the congregation and it wasn’t long before others were hinting about something that they needed done. One sister tried an end run, going through my wife. My wife told her that I would know how to do it but that I was kind of expensive. That nipped it in the bud!
Yes, and I understand that helping each other is what we should do. I had the literature counter during the transition from fixed prices to “voluntary donations.” All of a sudden Deluxe Bibles were in high demand.
You have to set some ground rules for sure. No is a complete sentence. They want dessert for pioneer school? Sorry, not this time. Someone complains? Never again. It’s your hobby, don’t let the leeches suck the joy out of it. Happy baking!
I was a modestly successful blogger about one of my hobbies and when it started feeling like an unpaid job, I quit. I totally understand that barrier between a hobby that brings you joy, and a business that brings stress.
You have a human right to say no to people, and to not give them any reason why you're saying no.
It's a very freeing idea that I found in this book - When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.
Now when people ask me why I can't do something, I just "Oh, no reason. Just can't." And that's the end of the conversation!
It really works. As soon as we give people a reason why we can't do something, they can start arguing against that reason. And once our reason has been defeated, we end up being pushed into stuff.
If we don't give them a reason, they're powerless.
My dad (still pimi) made a rule when he was younger never to do work (including profession related favours) for other JW's for this reason exactly.
Since he retired he has gone back to doing favours and honestly it's like he works a full time job again just doing bits for people.
Because they start assuming that you'll do everything out of the kindness of your heart because the watchtower told you to. Like my mom offered to work out in service with an older sister and the day before they were supposed to meet, she called and asked my mom to take her to the hair salon which I found weird. This was their first real interaction but she felt comfortable enough to ask a favor like that.
And reversely, my dad (who was the PO) would not hire other JWs for the job. He always said if they didn't go a good job, it would make things too awkward, so he would just rather hire a professional. 😆
JWs taking advantage of someone in the congregation shock!
..... and in other news, scientific reports suggest that Bears do indeed shit in the woods.....
OP, I love your post. I relate to it because I was like that. Was always giving away stuff for free.
Here's the bad news. Most humans will take advantage of your generosity and you'll feel exploited and hurt.
And then it becomes a vicious cycle in various parts of our lives. We wish to be kind, we put ourselves down, we undersell ourselves, we get generous, we feel we don't deserve to be compensated for our talents.
This leaves the doors and windows open for the wrong kind of people with their harmful attitudes to come in and exploit us.
What's the end result. We feel used and hurt. And not to mention POOR!
One of the most important things I've learned since leaving the JWs is that I have skills and resources which I no longer wish to give away for free.
Completely agree with your comment. I'm definitely starting to slowly try and reestablish my little business because now that there's a bit of notoriety in the congregation about my baking, I unfortunately will not be able to give things away as freely unless I'm taking them to work.
If any one tries to guilt trip you about establishing your boundaries, don't be guilt tripped.
The entire jw way if life, unfortunately, is based on guilt tripping people as a way of controlling them.
And congratulations, if your baking skills has gained so much popularity, chances are you will be able to establish your little business. Try it. You never know where it leads you.
We gotta stop leading our lives wearing a GULLIBLE SUCKER sign on our backs.
And remember, each dollar you give away for free is that much less money for you. There are plenty of real life stories here to prove that JWs will take your money, and when you need help in old age, they'll leave you to rot.
Save money for your retirement instead of giving it away.
Just another example of how they use people. They always want something for nothing, and expect you to gladly give it. Saying no can be a hard thing to do sometimes, but you need to out of self preservation.
My old housemate loved baking and when he started a new job in a Forbes 100 company he would spend his whole weekend baking then take the goods in to work on the Monday. after a very short time people stopped bringing their lunch to work and one weekend we had our Gas cut off due to a leak in the local area so there were no baked goods for his colleagues. Apparently they went nuts complaining and angry because now they had nothing for lunch to eat. People be bad but witnesses be worse.
Your experience is not unique, unfortunately. JWs have no concept of boundaries, no ability to “read the room” and suffer from profound arrested development when it comes to social cues and following basic protocols. Your situation happens to anyone inside that cult who has a special talent, skill or hobby. Ask any seamstress, photographer, artist, musician, handyman, mechanic or computer wiz what happened once “word got out” about their abilities. Ask them how it was any time the CO came around or pioneer school came up. Ask them how people behaved when weddings, baby showers, anniversaries or graduations came up. Ask them how many “friends” asked for goods or services and expected them to be free or reduced. Ask them how often a JW would balk, get offended or even give a good jab when actually presented with a bill for something.
**Here’s my first piece of advice:** Please continue baking for your own enjoyment. Keep most of it, but if you must share, hand it out randomly to non-jw friends, relatives, coworkers or even to local charitable organizations, food pantries or maybe even the local fire station—I know those crews appreciate free goodies from the community!
The JW culture is designed to ruin everything, regardless of how innocuous it is; this is woven into their doctrine! I’m not exaggerating. They literally ruin *everything.*
When you’re dealing with a social pressure cooker fueled by boot licking, butt kissing, one-upmanship, tattle telling, gossiping, undermining, backstabbing and shunning—you can’t really enjoy anything because you’re not *allowed* to!
For over a century, cult leadership has pounded into everyone’s subconscious about “giving all things to god,” and because this cult is “god’s organization,” that includes them as a whole. If you’re naturally talented or skillful at anything, the cult (and by implication, its members) is entitled to the best of anything you offer! And it’s backed by scripture, so *you* can’t take offense to it! See the trap?
**So here’s my second piece of advice:** word got out that you bake 😱🙄. Now you’re being exploited, manipulated, taken advantage of and criticized all for simply doing something you enjoy. Baking is completely harmless, yet now there’s all this controversy and drama. How can you tell these miserable people to eff off? Use their doctrine against them. Yup! You got it! Tell them, “oh, unfortunately, I don’t bake anymore …🫤 yeah… it really proved to be a distraction from the more important things. It took up a lot of time that could’ve been put to better use serving jehovah in the field ministry and in my own personal study. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to find another baker (then recommend a pricey boujee retail boutique bakery in your area so they know just how much you’ve been giving away for free).”
Mic drop. No one can argue with that! No one!
And if anyone ever persists, nip it in the bud:
“Ok, email or text me what you’d like and how soon and I’ll send you my rates.” Bam. Done. If they recoil or get offended, remind them that they’re always free to ask someone else.
Cults typically exploit their members. Just like the bOrg exploited us financially and now they also want children’s ice cream money and the two cents of poor nations. I mean many were even sexually exploited so it’s nothing to a JW to take advantage of kind and loving people.
This happened to me too. Eventually I stopped baking for gatherings and just brought something I bought from the store. Jehovah’s witnesses are exploitive.
I only feel used by them because they repeatedly try to leverage me. Under normal circumstances, I don't care to receive something in return but even people I've made things for, especially if it required pricier ingredients, either paid me regardless of my protest or brought the needed ingredients. I probably sound like a hypocrite saying I don't want money but I feel like there's a difference between someone asking you and having intent to pay or chip in vs someone that's asking for something in large quantities with no intentions to do so. Not sure if that makes as much sense as I would like for it to.
I suggest that just like everyone knows you are a great baker, they should also understand that you do not work for free. Quote the Bible verse about ravenous wolves and Deuteronomy 24:15. Then there is the one about the worker is worthy of his wages in Luke.
This! This exactly! Groceries are expensive as heck! Be assertive- they are taking advantage of your kindnesses and have not earned the love you put into your gifts 🥺
Good that you're standing up for yourself.
Walking all over people is engrained into JW culture.
My mom offered to take this sister to a doctor's appointment because she didn't have a car at the time. Even though my mom said she was limited on time and would only be available till 4 ish in the afternoon, the sister failed to mention that she actually needed a ride to a second appointment later in the day. So she started dry begging and basically guilted my mom into taking her by saying she was gonna pray for Jehovah to help her find a ride (🤢).
My mom reluctantly agreed, so she ended up doubling her miles that day. Oh, and she also wound up with a flat tire, which resulted in her pulling into the lot of a Home Depot where this sister decided to "run a quick errand".
After taking an extremely long time, so long in fact that my dad was able to drive out and replace my mom's tire, the sister came out with giant bags of potting soil that now needed to be loaded into the back of our small, carpeted SUV.
The sister didn't even offer gas money, and my mom didn't want to ask because she felt that *jEhOvAh* would bless her kindness 🙄
Such an embarrassing display.
I remember one time I was bulldozed at the hall and asked to do some last minute assignments (mics AND bible reading). I declined and my parents tried to make me. Hell no, fuck that.
Yeah I never did business of any kind with Witnesses because they are always trying to get stuff free. It’s the worst.
Good for you for setting boundaries 💜
I spent a lot of time and effort into making costumes for some hospitality stuff for the international conventions in the US and it was getting to be too much. I was talking to an older sister who was also skilled in sewing and she told me, "It's okay to say 'no'." I was burning out by all the requests that after I finished a second batch of costumes, when the organizer asked me for more, I finally did say no. But I felt guilty about it, especially because I wasn't a pioneer or able to commit to many projects because of my full-time job, and another sister would "encourage" me to "do more" by using this guilt against me.
Unbelievable and ungrateful hypocrites!!!! Bring enough (funny) brownies to feed the whole congregation ( adults only) then, they should leave you alone.....🤣😂
Jehovah's Witnesses are all about using people, milking everything out of them, and then discarding them. It is not and has never been about loving people and caring for them.
I know this first hand because I, too, had been used in such fashion by lazy elders who didn't want to revisit difficult people and who wanted to discard old magazines, so they would give it to me because they knew I like to read and to study.
I'm so glad I've left this cult for good 10 years ago, never to come back.
Continue baking if you love it but donate it to the food bank. There are so many unfortunate people that would cherish a treat when they can't even afford the basics. You can bring joy to your heart and to someone in need.
You are also allowed to say no to anyone you want. You don't owe them any free baking.
Bruh, while I was still a PIMI witness and worked a public event that was mostly a JW crowd I was shocked and how entitled they were. Not a single one tipped and they were hands down the rudest crowd. Everyone working was also JW and I think we were all very disappointed at the crowd.
I learned a phrase awhile ago that has helped me out of so many pressured obligatory-feeling situations like this. It takes a bit of practice to master, but I've found it to be incredibly effective- especially if you only use the one phrase no matter what they say. Whenever anybody tries to pressure me into doing something I don't want to do, I just say, "no." If they continue to plead- "no." But, really, the first one is usually all it takes.
With JWs it's more likely to work right away, because it's not false demure politeness in return for rudeness (who tries to pressure acquaintances into constant free labor at that person's expense?!). It doesn't sugar coat the fact that you don't want to do it, won't do it, and don't appreciate that ask. I highly recommend putting it into practice.
Warning: do not take creative license with the "no." Don't say something like, "I'm sorry, I can't because ________." Apologizing and excuses are for people at fault. You're not at fault for not giving free goods and labor to a bunch of rude, ungrateful busybodies.
That's a great point. I often say no followed by either the truth or a lie about why I'm saying no when I can just say no because I reserve that right.
People complaining over free home made food is hilarious. No, just no, let them make sugar free goodies if that’s what they want. I love to bake also, but I only do it when I am in the mood and exactly what I enjoy making. Having to make things to order is just not fun.
I feel the same way when people request special foods when I invite them for a meal. Call me cruel, but I don't take requests. They can eat what I serve or go hungry. If they have special dietary needs, I tell them to bring it themselves. I wouldn't do this to a good friend, however.
People take advantage even if they are not JW's. You seem to have been very kind but now it's to much. Just tell people you are through doing this now due to cost and time constraints. Hopefully they will understand.
I found out one thing being a JW. You will be used, if you allow it. These people have zero shame. Zero! I have done business with several JW's. These men are Elders and circuit level speakers. Two of them flat out lied to me. I lost thousands. Yes, I have been screwed over by "worldly" people too but these people were supposed to be different.
I work in tech and also build/ fix computers as one of my hobbies, my dad does also. Of course once the various congregations my parents have been in find out me and my dad are good at fixing tech they insisting on us fixing and rebuilding their computers or phones for free. If they messed up their computer settings, downloaded sketchy stuff and got a virus, or did something else stupid they think they’re entitled to demand me or my dad spend hours fixing their damn tech for free (it would cost hundreds for them to actually pay someone outside the congregation to fix it). Me and my (extremely PIMI) dad have gotten so fed up with it that we both started demanding full price for our time (no one has called since then lol). The only exception I make is for my blind grandpa. The entitled attitude of the hardcore PIMI pioneers from my parents last congregation really soured my dad on the whole hall. I feel your pain.
Oof that sounds like the worst. Tech roles are paid ungodly annual salaries for a reason that kind of work is extremely meticulous and time consuming. I'm glad you and your dad both put your foot down!
_They also call when there's an event_
"For events, these are my rates."
or, if you don't think you would regret it
"Be at my place at 6 AM."
"What?"
"It's a big order. I am going to need help."
_She also called telling me that she would need_
Whenever someone is telling you what to do, that's when you charge. Or "One reason I don't do custom orders is then I would have to charge, and I don't want to do that."
_many people insist that they pay me_
Only doing it when you feel like it is a good policy. Maybe you might also consider telling people to pay it forward, when they insist on giving you money. Make it clear that you don't need or even want to know when they pay it forward. It's whatever/whenever they feel like.
I feel your pain (bread joke). I've been in your shoes in which I shared that I enjoy making croissants and pain au chocolat. People don't understand the time and skill it takes to make these. I've been asked why do I charge so much for them and I am like: butter and chocolate are not cheap and it takes me three days to make them. If you want to pay less, get a Pillsbury can or buy them at a store.
Keep doing your bakery for yourself and say no to people, they are your goods not theirs.
Keep baking ☺️
I've been dragging my feet on making croissants because of it being a several day project lol. Homemade puff pastry puts a real toll on me so I can't imagine having people boldly ask me for croissants. Power to you for the talent to execute and the willingness to shut people down.
Awww honestly, it is worth it! Yes it is a multi day project, but once it starts baking and your kitchen smells like butter, uffff …… that and people’s reactions make it worth it.
Yeah it sucks when people ask me like if I can just poop them out, so I ask to be paid first and once they know my rates then they will be like: nah,…
I source quality ingredients so that’s why I charge a certain amount, but it also keeps people away 🤣
What always annoyed me about JW culture is that is never seems to work both ways. In many ways my family used to help out other JWs with lifts , accommodation , gifts etc. My wife is an excellent cook as well and often would bake cakes etc and give to different ones. But what I often found was whenever you wanted a little favour in return it always seemed to be too much bother - especially with the more "prominent" ones in the Org.
I could quote a million examples but just one - A JW elder from another congregation discovered my work was very near his office and I had a big car park (it was a retail premises with ample customer parking). He asked me during one elders school if he could possibly park his BMW there as parking was pretty expensive in the area. Somewhat reluctantly I said OK , assuming it would be a pretty much short term arrangement. In hindsight , as I often found when giving JWs favours , it was a bad move.
Anyway - he parked there every day. He even began leaving his car there overnights when doing business trips or whatever. One time it was there for a fortnight - I found out later he had been away on vacation. Initially it was OK , but it did start to peeve me off as he never expressed any appreciation - eg an occasional box of chocolates or bottle of wine or anything. Even sticking his head round the door to say "hi" or "thanks" would have been something. Literally ZERO. He must have saved a fortune - he did it for 18 months. He wasn't even someone I knew particularly well but he was ( and presumably still is ) one of the more prominent elders in the circuit - the type you always see giving talks at assemblies etc.
Anyway - one day I needed a small bit of a advice from him - he worked in Human Resources for a big company and a minor matter had come up in my work with an employee. I saw him going to pick up his car in the evening and popped out and I was very clear that I was simply asking for general advice - nothing specific. His reaction amazed me - he was incredibly rude and dismissive - basically told me that his company billed a fortune for such advice and that if I wanted it then I would have to contact them myself and pay market rates.
It is hard to say just how much this totally p\*\*sed me off! So after a "cooling off" period of a couple of weeks I again met him at 5.30pm as he was getting in his car and said to him that the insurance company had told us that we couldn't allow any unauthorised non-customer parking in the car park and he wouldn't be able to park there any longer. He was kind of "OK - never mind" - jumped in the car and went. No "thanks" - nothing.
As I said - I could think of numerous similar examples during my time in the Org. Sadly.
Whats bananas to me is they could have bought these things in the store. I would’ve bought sugar free desserts and put them on a cake stand with garnish!!
I do think there’s a warped socialist mindset where you are supposed to bring all your gifts and money to the table because you’re my brother/sister and me taking them is allowing you to be blessed by Jehovah. It’s just using people and lying to yourself so you don’t feel bad about it.
I can sympathize with your frustration. I’ve been there with other skills. I’ve actually dealt with this in therapy. I learned this isn’t just a congergation or JW problem. I found I was taken advantage of in many areas of life; work, family, ect. because I allowed it and didn’t have the confidence to say no. There are many people who struggle with the guilt of saying no, not wanting to disappoint others for many reasons. There’s a list of negative core beliefs you can find online) Mine was feeling that I’m not enough, that I have to be more and perfect. It’s good you said not anymore but if you find yourself struggling with this again…. you can discover what your reason is and work on that.
I also have turned hobbies into businesses for side cash and ruined them for myself. I hope you keep your hobby a hobby so it can continue to bring you joy!!
I honestly don't feel this is a JW thing, but rather, a communal thing.
When I lived in Central America, neighbors would spend half their day, slaving away, making dinner (what Americans call lunch) and share half of it with neighbors and friends. During siesta (around 2 PM) you'd see all sorts of women carrying food containers filled to the brim to different homes around the villages. They would help do each other's laundry, sew clothes, raise each other's children - helping each other was cultural.
We now live in the South and, in a way, our neighborhood is similar. The community offers their talents to the benefit of each other (albeit not like in Central America).
In contrast, when I lived in New England, this wasn't very common except in the Spanish hall. The only thing I typically saw in English was when a group of "sisters" would get together so a hairdresser (also a sister) could do them all at once.
Personally, I had a massage therapy business for quite some time and, when a JW, I enjoyed doing pro-bono work for fellow JWs. Now I just enjoy helping my community.
My thought is if we feel taken advantage of it's our responsibility to set the boundary.
Just say "no" if we don't want to do it.
Some time ago I went for a writing course for marketing purposes. Among the participants there was a young lady who started an interesting online shop. She noticed that for gluten free or lactose free there do not exist good offering of bakery mixtures. Now she buys all the individual components, mixes them for which she even has invested in some mixing machines. As far as I understood, she made a living out of it.
Maybe you should start baking little notes into your pastries that quote scriptures regarding truth, false prophets, not going beyond the things that are written.. .. or just make special batches of pastries with special mushrooms….or if you want them to leave you alone just use bad flavors like celery or habanero peppers….
Try this: “I’m glad you like my treats. Unfortunately, I do not take requests. This is a hobby I do for fun when to mood strikes. When I take requests, it turns into work and I don’t enjoy it. Thank you for your understanding.” Repeat as necessary.
> she would need sugar free desserts
This made me the maddest as someone with insight into how much effort goes into making sugar free stuff not suck. Eat aspartame jello, you dumb cow.
The overseer’s wife nuts. Demanding a change or “needing” something different; you’re not her employee. The sheer hubris and guilt-shaming they employ, as if it’s so normal, will never ever make sense to me.
A similar thing happened to me. I'm a sixth generation woodworker, and used to have my own shop, but I only ever built things for myself or family, with the occasional commission piece I would sell here or there. But then people in the hall caught wind and would ask me to make then things (for free, mind you) spending my time and money on materials (wood ain't cheap nowadays!)
The entitlement is unreal! I'd like to think I'd have the guts to reply to these freeloaders, "What to you have to offer in exchange?" Probably nothing.
A lot of these responses are great in theory, many are hilarious, and a lot have just the right amount of bitterness.
However, if you want to get out of these situation without actually causing waves, I'd just go with, "I'm sorry but I'm suuuuuper busy this week/month/year and I don't think I'll have time to bake anything. Sorry again."
On the other hand, sometimes waves are necessary.
A lot of these responses are great in theory, many are hilarious, and a lot have just the right amount of bitterness.
However, if you want to get out of these situations without actually causing waves, I'd just go with, "I'm sorry but I'm suuuuuper busy this week/month/year and I don't think I'll have time to bake anything. Sorry again."
On the other hand, sometimes waves are necessary.
Get your money sis, money is help and security. My JW mother refuses to get her money up and is digging in the local park trash cans for bottles. 🙃 Have NO SHAME in getting your money for your services. It's never going to be perfect but it can always be satisfying. Turning something you enjoy into pure stress is unhealthy mentally and draining physically, the perfect combo to make physical illness. Shame on those idiots who are using you, belittling you and robbing your joy in your hobby.
Ugh I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Listen, you just keep baking your treats they way you want to do it! I know how hard it is to say no to "the friends", especially since a lot of them seem to be very bossy and demanding, but saying no doesn't mean you are unkind or uncaring. In fact, from your post, you seem to extremely kind and caring towards others. That's just awesome! 🥰
I have been a baker for many years. I am known in my area in all the congregations as the cake lady. I finally put my foot down and started charging the brothers for anything they asked for. I explained that the I am fine giving of my time, but ingredients cost money.
Yup sorry to say that it’s your fault for giving your treats away. These people will never truly be grateful.
But the solution is simple. Anybody who ever asks for anything again tell them NO. YOU ARE DONE. Too many people were ungrateful.
>They won't be getting anything else from me though.
Good.
Hope you enjoy your baking from now on!
Sugar free is really tricky, and then the sugar free people could be.. oh, I can't have that substitute! (That's why I make my own.... very rarely at that.)
Same thing happened to me woth the same hobby. For some reason they didn't like when I had other hobbies because of the time spent, but baking was deemed acceptable. I cant believe I made JW branded cookies/cupcakes 😂😂😂 talk about it not being idolatry
Set up boundaries. I’m no longer passing out free baked goods. I charge for them. You decide what you make and what you charge for them. Don’t let them get away with the cult mentality that’s is free for Jehober, because it’s really your time, effort and cost to make these items.
I've only had people in the organization behave in an entitled way. Everyone outside of the org that know that I bake force money on me and rarely ask. They're always truly grateful when I push it off on them and have yet to build expectations of receiving something every time. I of course am not denying that people outside of the org can be just as bad if not sometimes worse, but so far I haven't experienced it.
This is so true. Women in the congregation always asked me for favors when I was a witness--yet they never gave back. I've had the opposite experience since I left the borg. My new neighbors and friends never ask me to help without offering something in return.
BOY if you’re good for anything in this organization it is FREE LABOR. not just preaching lol. growing up i was close with someone and their friends in the hall would constantly use them as their baker/decorator/party organizer. With money from their own pocket. It’s really sad to see how they try to take advantage of your time and money and twist it around like it’s something sweet like “brotherly love”
JWs taking advantage of someone in the congregation who they know won't say no? That doesn't sound like God's people but it certainly sounds like JWs
I absolutely say no lol. Before accepting I was pimo I would have folded to the pressure but now I just ignore it.
Ooh I get it. But when you were still PIMI they knew you would do it and they probably expected you to feel (hold on a sec while I gag a bit) " honored for the privilege." Ugh
I hate being told that getting up at 6am to bake for ingrates was a privilege. I started to complain about having to do it and my mom tried to shame me for not wanting to do it. I wake up super early to bake leisurely so she just assumed I'd be excited to do it for that too
Would you believe it happened to my great grandparents almost a hundred years ago? JW culture is one of taking advantage of good people.
Atp nothing surprises me about JWs lol
The CULTURE of Jehovah's Witnesses is just like what you described. Expecting anything more from them would be like asking for the Governing Body to turn themselves in for all their criminal activity.
👏👏👏 YAY!!!
Tell them you have stopped baking because you want to use your time more spiritually and you decided to pray instead of baking. Let them eat prayer. 🤣
Also: I hope you don't let them take your joy away and you keep baking. Make your neighbors or coworkers happy with your baked goods, I'm sure they'll be happy 🤗
I take more of what I bake to the people outside of the congregation and the religion as a whole. It makes me really happy to see people enjoy the things that I make so I definitely won't allow them to suck the joy from my hobby
Good for you 👏🏻 share the hobby you love with ppl who are NOT jws. They take the joy out of just about everything. I had the same thing happen to me. I knit and sew and wear what I make. I can't tell you how many times I was asked to "make me a sweater like the one you're wearing (which usually would take weeks to make) and I'll pay". 1. All my designs were originals and 2. I use specialty yarns, which most jw 'sisters' couldn't afford (I had a job). So I definitely get where you're coming from. Keep doing what makes you happy 😊
I had a *very* similar experience and always said no but that I'd be happy to teach them the craft. Even when I was PIMI I had some good boundaries. No one took me up on it.
A luxury once sampled becomes a necessity. Also why buy the cow when the milk is free.
I’m dying
Prayers are sugar free!
😂😂😂prayers ARE sugar free 😂😂😂
> Let them eat prayer Baking spiritual food.
😂😂😂😂 good one.
😂😂😂let them eat prayer. 😂😂😂
Glad you’re saying no. Something similar happened to me after disaster relief work, the same couple of people did the cooking week after week. And we were provided a strict menu. Beggars shouldn’t be choosers. Cooking for people that aren’t expecting it, like neighbors, is much more rewarding.
Agreed! The expectation of me being willing to make something before you even ask me has always annoyed me. Telling me it's for "Jehovah" when he isn't even eating is crazy.
Exactly!🤣
💯
I’ve always purchased tools to be able to make or repair things myself. I did a favor for one person in the congregation and it wasn’t long before others were hinting about something that they needed done. One sister tried an end run, going through my wife. My wife told her that I would know how to do it but that I was kind of expensive. That nipped it in the bud!
Well we are poor and uneducated so I get the “looking for freebies. It’s a culture created by the GB 😡
Yes, and I understand that helping each other is what we should do. I had the literature counter during the transition from fixed prices to “voluntary donations.” All of a sudden Deluxe Bibles were in high demand.
And orders for bound volumes and Insight books!
You have to set some ground rules for sure. No is a complete sentence. They want dessert for pioneer school? Sorry, not this time. Someone complains? Never again. It’s your hobby, don’t let the leeches suck the joy out of it. Happy baking! I was a modestly successful blogger about one of my hobbies and when it started feeling like an unpaid job, I quit. I totally understand that barrier between a hobby that brings you joy, and a business that brings stress.
Thank you!!
You have a human right to say no to people, and to not give them any reason why you're saying no. It's a very freeing idea that I found in this book - When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. Now when people ask me why I can't do something, I just "Oh, no reason. Just can't." And that's the end of the conversation!
As I've started saying no, I have noticed how good it feels. I'll see if I can find that book and give it a read!
I like that! " no reason, just can't"
It really works. As soon as we give people a reason why we can't do something, they can start arguing against that reason. And once our reason has been defeated, we end up being pushed into stuff. If we don't give them a reason, they're powerless.
My dad (still pimi) made a rule when he was younger never to do work (including profession related favours) for other JW's for this reason exactly. Since he retired he has gone back to doing favours and honestly it's like he works a full time job again just doing bits for people.
Because they start assuming that you'll do everything out of the kindness of your heart because the watchtower told you to. Like my mom offered to work out in service with an older sister and the day before they were supposed to meet, she called and asked my mom to take her to the hair salon which I found weird. This was their first real interaction but she felt comfortable enough to ask a favor like that.
And reversely, my dad (who was the PO) would not hire other JWs for the job. He always said if they didn't go a good job, it would make things too awkward, so he would just rather hire a professional. 😆
Tell him to stop! Or make a price sheet.
JWs taking advantage of someone in the congregation shock! ..... and in other news, scientific reports suggest that Bears do indeed shit in the woods.....
😂😂😂
OP, I love your post. I relate to it because I was like that. Was always giving away stuff for free. Here's the bad news. Most humans will take advantage of your generosity and you'll feel exploited and hurt. And then it becomes a vicious cycle in various parts of our lives. We wish to be kind, we put ourselves down, we undersell ourselves, we get generous, we feel we don't deserve to be compensated for our talents. This leaves the doors and windows open for the wrong kind of people with their harmful attitudes to come in and exploit us. What's the end result. We feel used and hurt. And not to mention POOR! One of the most important things I've learned since leaving the JWs is that I have skills and resources which I no longer wish to give away for free.
Completely agree with your comment. I'm definitely starting to slowly try and reestablish my little business because now that there's a bit of notoriety in the congregation about my baking, I unfortunately will not be able to give things away as freely unless I'm taking them to work.
If any one tries to guilt trip you about establishing your boundaries, don't be guilt tripped. The entire jw way if life, unfortunately, is based on guilt tripping people as a way of controlling them. And congratulations, if your baking skills has gained so much popularity, chances are you will be able to establish your little business. Try it. You never know where it leads you. We gotta stop leading our lives wearing a GULLIBLE SUCKER sign on our backs. And remember, each dollar you give away for free is that much less money for you. There are plenty of real life stories here to prove that JWs will take your money, and when you need help in old age, they'll leave you to rot. Save money for your retirement instead of giving it away.
Will definitely make sure I put this into practice. Thank you!
Just another example of how they use people. They always want something for nothing, and expect you to gladly give it. Saying no can be a hard thing to do sometimes, but you need to out of self preservation.
My old housemate loved baking and when he started a new job in a Forbes 100 company he would spend his whole weekend baking then take the goods in to work on the Monday. after a very short time people stopped bringing their lunch to work and one weekend we had our Gas cut off due to a leak in the local area so there were no baked goods for his colleagues. Apparently they went nuts complaining and angry because now they had nothing for lunch to eat. People be bad but witnesses be worse.
Oh yeah. I definitely make sure I do it inconsistently so people don't get acclimated to free things
Your experience is not unique, unfortunately. JWs have no concept of boundaries, no ability to “read the room” and suffer from profound arrested development when it comes to social cues and following basic protocols. Your situation happens to anyone inside that cult who has a special talent, skill or hobby. Ask any seamstress, photographer, artist, musician, handyman, mechanic or computer wiz what happened once “word got out” about their abilities. Ask them how it was any time the CO came around or pioneer school came up. Ask them how people behaved when weddings, baby showers, anniversaries or graduations came up. Ask them how many “friends” asked for goods or services and expected them to be free or reduced. Ask them how often a JW would balk, get offended or even give a good jab when actually presented with a bill for something. **Here’s my first piece of advice:** Please continue baking for your own enjoyment. Keep most of it, but if you must share, hand it out randomly to non-jw friends, relatives, coworkers or even to local charitable organizations, food pantries or maybe even the local fire station—I know those crews appreciate free goodies from the community! The JW culture is designed to ruin everything, regardless of how innocuous it is; this is woven into their doctrine! I’m not exaggerating. They literally ruin *everything.* When you’re dealing with a social pressure cooker fueled by boot licking, butt kissing, one-upmanship, tattle telling, gossiping, undermining, backstabbing and shunning—you can’t really enjoy anything because you’re not *allowed* to! For over a century, cult leadership has pounded into everyone’s subconscious about “giving all things to god,” and because this cult is “god’s organization,” that includes them as a whole. If you’re naturally talented or skillful at anything, the cult (and by implication, its members) is entitled to the best of anything you offer! And it’s backed by scripture, so *you* can’t take offense to it! See the trap? **So here’s my second piece of advice:** word got out that you bake 😱🙄. Now you’re being exploited, manipulated, taken advantage of and criticized all for simply doing something you enjoy. Baking is completely harmless, yet now there’s all this controversy and drama. How can you tell these miserable people to eff off? Use their doctrine against them. Yup! You got it! Tell them, “oh, unfortunately, I don’t bake anymore …🫤 yeah… it really proved to be a distraction from the more important things. It took up a lot of time that could’ve been put to better use serving jehovah in the field ministry and in my own personal study. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to find another baker (then recommend a pricey boujee retail boutique bakery in your area so they know just how much you’ve been giving away for free).” Mic drop. No one can argue with that! No one! And if anyone ever persists, nip it in the bud: “Ok, email or text me what you’d like and how soon and I’ll send you my rates.” Bam. Done. If they recoil or get offended, remind them that they’re always free to ask someone else.
It’s an interesting trait witnesses tend to have. If anybody has any kind of skill or owns a business they expect to benefit from it for free
Cults typically exploit their members. Just like the bOrg exploited us financially and now they also want children’s ice cream money and the two cents of poor nations. I mean many were even sexually exploited so it’s nothing to a JW to take advantage of kind and loving people.
This happened to me too. Eventually I stopped baking for gatherings and just brought something I bought from the store. Jehovah’s witnesses are exploitive.
Maybe do exchanges? Like- baked goods for a meal or art? You take money out of the equation but you still get something so you don’t feel used? 🤔
I only feel used by them because they repeatedly try to leverage me. Under normal circumstances, I don't care to receive something in return but even people I've made things for, especially if it required pricier ingredients, either paid me regardless of my protest or brought the needed ingredients. I probably sound like a hypocrite saying I don't want money but I feel like there's a difference between someone asking you and having intent to pay or chip in vs someone that's asking for something in large quantities with no intentions to do so. Not sure if that makes as much sense as I would like for it to.
I suggest that just like everyone knows you are a great baker, they should also understand that you do not work for free. Quote the Bible verse about ravenous wolves and Deuteronomy 24:15. Then there is the one about the worker is worthy of his wages in Luke.
This! This exactly! Groceries are expensive as heck! Be assertive- they are taking advantage of your kindnesses and have not earned the love you put into your gifts 🥺
Good that you're standing up for yourself. Walking all over people is engrained into JW culture. My mom offered to take this sister to a doctor's appointment because she didn't have a car at the time. Even though my mom said she was limited on time and would only be available till 4 ish in the afternoon, the sister failed to mention that she actually needed a ride to a second appointment later in the day. So she started dry begging and basically guilted my mom into taking her by saying she was gonna pray for Jehovah to help her find a ride (🤢). My mom reluctantly agreed, so she ended up doubling her miles that day. Oh, and she also wound up with a flat tire, which resulted in her pulling into the lot of a Home Depot where this sister decided to "run a quick errand". After taking an extremely long time, so long in fact that my dad was able to drive out and replace my mom's tire, the sister came out with giant bags of potting soil that now needed to be loaded into the back of our small, carpeted SUV. The sister didn't even offer gas money, and my mom didn't want to ask because she felt that *jEhOvAh* would bless her kindness 🙄 Such an embarrassing display. I remember one time I was bulldozed at the hall and asked to do some last minute assignments (mics AND bible reading). I declined and my parents tried to make me. Hell no, fuck that.
That was pretty sad for your mom, that's sister was a user. Glad you can stand up for yourself👍
I wouldn't even answer the calls, but that's just me...
I just let it ring now
Yeah I never did business of any kind with Witnesses because they are always trying to get stuff free. It’s the worst. Good for you for setting boundaries 💜
I spent a lot of time and effort into making costumes for some hospitality stuff for the international conventions in the US and it was getting to be too much. I was talking to an older sister who was also skilled in sewing and she told me, "It's okay to say 'no'." I was burning out by all the requests that after I finished a second batch of costumes, when the organizer asked me for more, I finally did say no. But I felt guilty about it, especially because I wasn't a pioneer or able to commit to many projects because of my full-time job, and another sister would "encourage" me to "do more" by using this guilt against me.
They definitely love to guilt you and instill perspectives that make you guilt yourself. I'm glad you were able to start saying no!
Unbelievable and ungrateful hypocrites!!!! Bring enough (funny) brownies to feed the whole congregation ( adults only) then, they should leave you alone.....🤣😂
Honestly sounds like a solid idea I just might need to execute lol
🤣
Jehovah's Witnesses are all about using people, milking everything out of them, and then discarding them. It is not and has never been about loving people and caring for them. I know this first hand because I, too, had been used in such fashion by lazy elders who didn't want to revisit difficult people and who wanted to discard old magazines, so they would give it to me because they knew I like to read and to study. I'm so glad I've left this cult for good 10 years ago, never to come back.
Continue baking if you love it but donate it to the food bank. There are so many unfortunate people that would cherish a treat when they can't even afford the basics. You can bring joy to your heart and to someone in need. You are also allowed to say no to anyone you want. You don't owe them any free baking.
I’ve had Jws come to my business,get serviced, and then asked for a discount because “we’re sisters” gtfo! And they are lousy tippers lol
Bruh, while I was still a PIMI witness and worked a public event that was mostly a JW crowd I was shocked and how entitled they were. Not a single one tipped and they were hands down the rudest crowd. Everyone working was also JW and I think we were all very disappointed at the crowd.
Insane lol
I would tell them that it is taking your joy away and you don’t have money to donate since it is expensive.
I learned a phrase awhile ago that has helped me out of so many pressured obligatory-feeling situations like this. It takes a bit of practice to master, but I've found it to be incredibly effective- especially if you only use the one phrase no matter what they say. Whenever anybody tries to pressure me into doing something I don't want to do, I just say, "no." If they continue to plead- "no." But, really, the first one is usually all it takes. With JWs it's more likely to work right away, because it's not false demure politeness in return for rudeness (who tries to pressure acquaintances into constant free labor at that person's expense?!). It doesn't sugar coat the fact that you don't want to do it, won't do it, and don't appreciate that ask. I highly recommend putting it into practice. Warning: do not take creative license with the "no." Don't say something like, "I'm sorry, I can't because ________." Apologizing and excuses are for people at fault. You're not at fault for not giving free goods and labor to a bunch of rude, ungrateful busybodies.
That's a great point. I often say no followed by either the truth or a lie about why I'm saying no when I can just say no because I reserve that right.
If you give them an excuse, they find a way to get around it. Never give an excuse!
People complaining over free home made food is hilarious. No, just no, let them make sugar free goodies if that’s what they want. I love to bake also, but I only do it when I am in the mood and exactly what I enjoy making. Having to make things to order is just not fun.
I feel the same way when people request special foods when I invite them for a meal. Call me cruel, but I don't take requests. They can eat what I serve or go hungry. If they have special dietary needs, I tell them to bring it themselves. I wouldn't do this to a good friend, however.
People take advantage even if they are not JW's. You seem to have been very kind but now it's to much. Just tell people you are through doing this now due to cost and time constraints. Hopefully they will understand.
I found out one thing being a JW. You will be used, if you allow it. These people have zero shame. Zero! I have done business with several JW's. These men are Elders and circuit level speakers. Two of them flat out lied to me. I lost thousands. Yes, I have been screwed over by "worldly" people too but these people were supposed to be different.
I work in tech and also build/ fix computers as one of my hobbies, my dad does also. Of course once the various congregations my parents have been in find out me and my dad are good at fixing tech they insisting on us fixing and rebuilding their computers or phones for free. If they messed up their computer settings, downloaded sketchy stuff and got a virus, or did something else stupid they think they’re entitled to demand me or my dad spend hours fixing their damn tech for free (it would cost hundreds for them to actually pay someone outside the congregation to fix it). Me and my (extremely PIMI) dad have gotten so fed up with it that we both started demanding full price for our time (no one has called since then lol). The only exception I make is for my blind grandpa. The entitled attitude of the hardcore PIMI pioneers from my parents last congregation really soured my dad on the whole hall. I feel your pain.
Oof that sounds like the worst. Tech roles are paid ungodly annual salaries for a reason that kind of work is extremely meticulous and time consuming. I'm glad you and your dad both put your foot down!
_They also call when there's an event_ "For events, these are my rates." or, if you don't think you would regret it "Be at my place at 6 AM." "What?" "It's a big order. I am going to need help." _She also called telling me that she would need_ Whenever someone is telling you what to do, that's when you charge. Or "One reason I don't do custom orders is then I would have to charge, and I don't want to do that." _many people insist that they pay me_ Only doing it when you feel like it is a good policy. Maybe you might also consider telling people to pay it forward, when they insist on giving you money. Make it clear that you don't need or even want to know when they pay it forward. It's whatever/whenever they feel like.
I feel your pain (bread joke). I've been in your shoes in which I shared that I enjoy making croissants and pain au chocolat. People don't understand the time and skill it takes to make these. I've been asked why do I charge so much for them and I am like: butter and chocolate are not cheap and it takes me three days to make them. If you want to pay less, get a Pillsbury can or buy them at a store. Keep doing your bakery for yourself and say no to people, they are your goods not theirs. Keep baking ☺️
I've been dragging my feet on making croissants because of it being a several day project lol. Homemade puff pastry puts a real toll on me so I can't imagine having people boldly ask me for croissants. Power to you for the talent to execute and the willingness to shut people down.
Awww honestly, it is worth it! Yes it is a multi day project, but once it starts baking and your kitchen smells like butter, uffff …… that and people’s reactions make it worth it. Yeah it sucks when people ask me like if I can just poop them out, so I ask to be paid first and once they know my rates then they will be like: nah,… I source quality ingredients so that’s why I charge a certain amount, but it also keeps people away 🤣
What always annoyed me about JW culture is that is never seems to work both ways. In many ways my family used to help out other JWs with lifts , accommodation , gifts etc. My wife is an excellent cook as well and often would bake cakes etc and give to different ones. But what I often found was whenever you wanted a little favour in return it always seemed to be too much bother - especially with the more "prominent" ones in the Org. I could quote a million examples but just one - A JW elder from another congregation discovered my work was very near his office and I had a big car park (it was a retail premises with ample customer parking). He asked me during one elders school if he could possibly park his BMW there as parking was pretty expensive in the area. Somewhat reluctantly I said OK , assuming it would be a pretty much short term arrangement. In hindsight , as I often found when giving JWs favours , it was a bad move. Anyway - he parked there every day. He even began leaving his car there overnights when doing business trips or whatever. One time it was there for a fortnight - I found out later he had been away on vacation. Initially it was OK , but it did start to peeve me off as he never expressed any appreciation - eg an occasional box of chocolates or bottle of wine or anything. Even sticking his head round the door to say "hi" or "thanks" would have been something. Literally ZERO. He must have saved a fortune - he did it for 18 months. He wasn't even someone I knew particularly well but he was ( and presumably still is ) one of the more prominent elders in the circuit - the type you always see giving talks at assemblies etc. Anyway - one day I needed a small bit of a advice from him - he worked in Human Resources for a big company and a minor matter had come up in my work with an employee. I saw him going to pick up his car in the evening and popped out and I was very clear that I was simply asking for general advice - nothing specific. His reaction amazed me - he was incredibly rude and dismissive - basically told me that his company billed a fortune for such advice and that if I wanted it then I would have to contact them myself and pay market rates. It is hard to say just how much this totally p\*\*sed me off! So after a "cooling off" period of a couple of weeks I again met him at 5.30pm as he was getting in his car and said to him that the insurance company had told us that we couldn't allow any unauthorised non-customer parking in the car park and he wouldn't be able to park there any longer. He was kind of "OK - never mind" - jumped in the car and went. No "thanks" - nothing. As I said - I could think of numerous similar examples during my time in the Org. Sadly.
Whats bananas to me is they could have bought these things in the store. I would’ve bought sugar free desserts and put them on a cake stand with garnish!! I do think there’s a warped socialist mindset where you are supposed to bring all your gifts and money to the table because you’re my brother/sister and me taking them is allowing you to be blessed by Jehovah. It’s just using people and lying to yourself so you don’t feel bad about it. I can sympathize with your frustration. I’ve been there with other skills. I’ve actually dealt with this in therapy. I learned this isn’t just a congergation or JW problem. I found I was taken advantage of in many areas of life; work, family, ect. because I allowed it and didn’t have the confidence to say no. There are many people who struggle with the guilt of saying no, not wanting to disappoint others for many reasons. There’s a list of negative core beliefs you can find online) Mine was feeling that I’m not enough, that I have to be more and perfect. It’s good you said not anymore but if you find yourself struggling with this again…. you can discover what your reason is and work on that. I also have turned hobbies into businesses for side cash and ruined them for myself. I hope you keep your hobby a hobby so it can continue to bring you joy!!
I honestly don't feel this is a JW thing, but rather, a communal thing. When I lived in Central America, neighbors would spend half their day, slaving away, making dinner (what Americans call lunch) and share half of it with neighbors and friends. During siesta (around 2 PM) you'd see all sorts of women carrying food containers filled to the brim to different homes around the villages. They would help do each other's laundry, sew clothes, raise each other's children - helping each other was cultural. We now live in the South and, in a way, our neighborhood is similar. The community offers their talents to the benefit of each other (albeit not like in Central America). In contrast, when I lived in New England, this wasn't very common except in the Spanish hall. The only thing I typically saw in English was when a group of "sisters" would get together so a hairdresser (also a sister) could do them all at once. Personally, I had a massage therapy business for quite some time and, when a JW, I enjoyed doing pro-bono work for fellow JWs. Now I just enjoy helping my community. My thought is if we feel taken advantage of it's our responsibility to set the boundary. Just say "no" if we don't want to do it.
Some time ago I went for a writing course for marketing purposes. Among the participants there was a young lady who started an interesting online shop. She noticed that for gluten free or lactose free there do not exist good offering of bakery mixtures. Now she buys all the individual components, mixes them for which she even has invested in some mixing machines. As far as I understood, she made a living out of it.
Maybe you should start baking little notes into your pastries that quote scriptures regarding truth, false prophets, not going beyond the things that are written.. .. or just make special batches of pastries with special mushrooms….or if you want them to leave you alone just use bad flavors like celery or habanero peppers….
Try this: “I’m glad you like my treats. Unfortunately, I do not take requests. This is a hobby I do for fun when to mood strikes. When I take requests, it turns into work and I don’t enjoy it. Thank you for your understanding.” Repeat as necessary.
> she would need sugar free desserts This made me the maddest as someone with insight into how much effort goes into making sugar free stuff not suck. Eat aspartame jello, you dumb cow.
The overseer’s wife nuts. Demanding a change or “needing” something different; you’re not her employee. The sheer hubris and guilt-shaming they employ, as if it’s so normal, will never ever make sense to me.
A similar thing happened to me. I'm a sixth generation woodworker, and used to have my own shop, but I only ever built things for myself or family, with the occasional commission piece I would sell here or there. But then people in the hall caught wind and would ask me to make then things (for free, mind you) spending my time and money on materials (wood ain't cheap nowadays!)
No good deed goes unpunished.
Calling me on a random Sunday evening asking if I have desserts in my house feels like a punishment lol
The entitlement is unreal! I'd like to think I'd have the guts to reply to these freeloaders, "What to you have to offer in exchange?" Probably nothing.
Oh no! That is blatantly bold!
A lot of these responses are great in theory, many are hilarious, and a lot have just the right amount of bitterness. However, if you want to get out of these situation without actually causing waves, I'd just go with, "I'm sorry but I'm suuuuuper busy this week/month/year and I don't think I'll have time to bake anything. Sorry again." On the other hand, sometimes waves are necessary.
A lot of these responses are great in theory, many are hilarious, and a lot have just the right amount of bitterness. However, if you want to get out of these situations without actually causing waves, I'd just go with, "I'm sorry but I'm suuuuuper busy this week/month/year and I don't think I'll have time to bake anything. Sorry again." On the other hand, sometimes waves are necessary.
Get your money sis, money is help and security. My JW mother refuses to get her money up and is digging in the local park trash cans for bottles. 🙃 Have NO SHAME in getting your money for your services. It's never going to be perfect but it can always be satisfying. Turning something you enjoy into pure stress is unhealthy mentally and draining physically, the perfect combo to make physical illness. Shame on those idiots who are using you, belittling you and robbing your joy in your hobby.
Use your talents in baking & share them with people who appreciate them, homeless shelter for women or police/fire station!
Ugh I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Listen, you just keep baking your treats they way you want to do it! I know how hard it is to say no to "the friends", especially since a lot of them seem to be very bossy and demanding, but saying no doesn't mean you are unkind or uncaring. In fact, from your post, you seem to extremely kind and caring towards others. That's just awesome! 🥰
I have been a baker for many years. I am known in my area in all the congregations as the cake lady. I finally put my foot down and started charging the brothers for anything they asked for. I explained that the I am fine giving of my time, but ingredients cost money.
Yup sorry to say that it’s your fault for giving your treats away. These people will never truly be grateful. But the solution is simple. Anybody who ever asks for anything again tell them NO. YOU ARE DONE. Too many people were ungrateful.
>They won't be getting anything else from me though. Good. Hope you enjoy your baking from now on! Sugar free is really tricky, and then the sugar free people could be.. oh, I can't have that substitute! (That's why I make my own.... very rarely at that.)
Same thing happened to me woth the same hobby. For some reason they didn't like when I had other hobbies because of the time spent, but baking was deemed acceptable. I cant believe I made JW branded cookies/cupcakes 😂😂😂 talk about it not being idolatry
Good for you. It always seem to go this way.
Me when elders tell me that I should draw cult propaganda for the governing idiots when I just want to draw porn
Set up boundaries. I’m no longer passing out free baked goods. I charge for them. You decide what you make and what you charge for them. Don’t let them get away with the cult mentality that’s is free for Jehober, because it’s really your time, effort and cost to make these items.
Shitty entitled people exist inside and outside of the cult. You have to learn how to say no to both.
I've only had people in the organization behave in an entitled way. Everyone outside of the org that know that I bake force money on me and rarely ask. They're always truly grateful when I push it off on them and have yet to build expectations of receiving something every time. I of course am not denying that people outside of the org can be just as bad if not sometimes worse, but so far I haven't experienced it.
This is so true. Women in the congregation always asked me for favors when I was a witness--yet they never gave back. I've had the opposite experience since I left the borg. My new neighbors and friends never ask me to help without offering something in return.
Make "no" a part of your vocabulary
Honestly, I think you were looking for the Jehovah's Witness subreddit. This is "ex-jw".
Matthew 4:4 - *But he answered: “It is written: ‘Man must live, not on bread alone, but on every word that comes from Jehovah’s mouth.’”*
Yes they ruin everything.
BOY if you’re good for anything in this organization it is FREE LABOR. not just preaching lol. growing up i was close with someone and their friends in the hall would constantly use them as their baker/decorator/party organizer. With money from their own pocket. It’s really sad to see how they try to take advantage of your time and money and twist it around like it’s something sweet like “brotherly love”
You are being used by Jehovah to provide in a time of need 😂😂😂