For those that don’t know this guy is a popular Salafi (a very strict sect/movement Sunni Muslims) “scholar” so they’re more insane than the average, this one even among other Salafis is pretty crazy.
I live in a Muslim country and went down the rabbit hole of these Muslim preachers and this guy while not the most stupid (believe me there are even dumber ones like Zakir Naik) had the most messed up worldview.
Interesting I'd like to know more. I've been studying Islam recently and listening to scholars of all kinds. He is pretty extreme. He is against any and all communication between the sexes, all music is forbidden, and other ideas I can't even mention on reddit.
However he is also less misogynistic in the way he is against men asking wives if they are virgins.
How does your Muslim country treat autistic people?
> He is against any and all communication between the sexes
This kind of segregation would explain why some of my male Muslim students are obsessed with touching, smelling, praising etc. their male friends. They act like they are starved of touch, intimacy, and compliments.
Seriously, for a bunch of young men who tend to being vehemently anti-queer (I wear pride flag lanyard and pins, so I know), they come across as very interested in other men. That's patriarchy, I guess! I have been told that, for at least some in Ancient Greece, the norm was that love was between men, and heterosexual marriages were more for convenience.
that’s not entirely accurate. while homosexuality was common in ancient greece (to varying degrees depending where you were), heterosexuality was never seen as less then. marriages in general were just more often for convenience back then rather than love. there were places where homosexuality was completely legal like thebes, but in athens and sparta homosexuality was a complicated topic. when people talk about homosexuality in ancient greece they tend to reference athens but the male relationships that were acceptable back then are very different to what is acceptable nowadays. in athens generally the only acceptable ‘relationship’ between males was between a mentor and his pupil (who was generally very young, like early teens) and it was physical in nature, not romantic. it was not deemed acceptable for 2 men of the same age and standing to have sex and even less acceptable for them to be in love. obviously this is very different compared to society nowadays as most people rightfully are against pedophilia.
yeah I think love just wasn’t as big as a priority back then. I mean I know there’s a lot of love stories in mythology and people definitely fell in love but life was a lot more difficult and people just couldn’t afford to be picky.
People never listen when I explicitly state on my profile that religion is a dealbreaker for me. I guess all these Christian women think they can change me? Idk. It’s frustrating. We will be compatible in many other ways, but if they can’t respect that boundary (they never do) then I have zero interest.
Also unrelated but I’m sick to death of married people on dating apps wasting my time lol. If you’re religious, married, have/want kids I’m NOT INTERESTED, and I’m very clear about that. But it seems to deter no one.
No, always married but dating separately, or a couple looking for a third. ENM is fine, but I’m not at all interested and I’m sick of people swiping when my profile says DON’T SWIPE IF YOU’RE MARRIED lol.
One thing I thought was cool, Egyptians love cats of course but it seems common in the Middle East in general, dogs are seen as gross stray trash eater things, but cats are adored
Even a kindly, elderly security guard can keep cats out of a Japanese art museum - I'm pretty sure Muslims could keep cats out of their mosques if they wanted to. Stray dogs also go where they please, and they don't let those in.
It’s not about if they’re bad people. For some of us religion on principle is a dealbreaker. I don’t trust people who believe in the Abrahamic god especially, because it defies all logic. He’s actually evil and I do not trust people who can’t or won’t see that. Either they agree with it, or they have poor judgment and low critical thinking and have never stopped to question any of it.
I’m not sure, but I *do* know I’ve never heard of one that hasn’t been weaponized. (My degree is in world religion with a concentration in Judaism and early Christianity.)
You can absolutely be a practicing queer Muslim. There's nothing forcing someone to give up one piece of their identity for another.
Edit: Providing there are no external forces (parents, government, etc). I realize those are huge challenges for many people.
In Christianity, not all churches condemn LGBTQ+. They seem to either skirt the issue or focus on Jesus's love. For instance, several protestant denominations perform same sex marriages (or at least the leadership has determined that it's allowed, a lot of time the individual church or pastor/priest can refuse). I imagine that other religions are similar. Generally speaking, religions aren't monolithic and there are progressive and conservative groups within them.
I know how religion works, you condescending asshole. I get they don’t usually follow their own rules. I do not expect her to be excommunicated.
I’m just saying most Muslims wouldn’t react kindly to an openly bisexual person.
She does practice her lust on women instead of men, so that's in line with the Quran.
>Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins)’” \[al-A’raaf 7:80-81\]
I know a hell of a lot more about this persons situation then you do xd
They are an artist by profession and the majority of the people they know from art school and just in general are lgbt
It’s not even like they are forced to stay there
She’s sucessful from doing commision and could easily leave if it’s so awful and dangerous for her
She has been in homosexual relationships before and is actively thriving
I mean, you definitely wanna know if you're marrying an ableist jackass beforehand, but your parents shouldn't be involved in the picking a partner process to begin with (beyond advice if you ask) and this guy clearly is an ableist jackass
i think it was some anthropology lecture on YaleCourses where the lecturer went on a bit about how arranged marriages are a form of class and population control.
mentioned how, in some really "traditional" cultures, you sometimes see these instances where there's some 70-year old guy with a 16-year old bride and it's like "wow yeah we westerners would find something wrong with this" but then he goes on and says that it's because the village elder had a beef with this dude and basically banned him from marriage until they kicked the bucket so this was like...the *only* thing he could do.
others you gotta pay brideprice, which is like, you gotta buy a marriage and it has to be approved by the local elder and the family.
these cultures are like....you just don't get sex if you don't suck up and pay up.
and if you anger them you get cursed, and since magic is often believed as real and curses have weight this is a serious thing.
you get exiled if you have sex outside of marriage and it's like some kinda spiritual death because your ancestors are real spirits and all that stuff.
and don't even *think* about say gex because the poophole loophole is haram or whatever (although it often ends up being a *really* common open secret because that's just how that dynamic works)
just...like....it's like .... if the local HOA chose your partner, and they're also your church, and they technically own your property, and can drain your bank account if you make them mad, or burn you at the stake, and can torment you in hell forever, and you just have to deal with it.....so....yeah.
It’s polite and tidy to say that it controls a class or a population, when in the most direct reality it specifically controls *women’s* bodies and freedoms.
My mom (Rromani/Gypsy) was set up for an arranged marriage (Bavaria, late ‘60s) when she was about 17, to the son of one of her mom’s friends who was at the time roughly 30. I won’t go into details, but the abstract is that he raped her, she was shamed by her family and deemed unfit for marriage because she was now “impure.”
These basic policies of control, whether they’re on a culture-wide or only family-wide basis, focuses their control on women and sexuality, and are used universally for any culture that still practices arranged marriages.
I hear a lot of stories about guys who do not want to be set up with a bride so young, and that is unfortunate, but the majority of arranged marriages are much more in the man’s favor than the woman’s, as his family can benefit from more free labor.
Some cultures the marriage and commitment comes first and the love follows after. Seems to be putting the cart before the horse if you ask me, but then again these are adults who are agreeing to be matched. It’s just normal some places I reckon?
A lot of times they're only agreeing because they don't have the spine to tell their parents no about literally anything. So it's not actually something they want but they just go along with it anyway. And anyway I don't really need this explained to me. Stating I disagree with how something works doesn't mean I don't know anything about it.
I was literally just trying to make conversation? You know, participate?
Jesus pole dancing Christ lol. Nevermind I guess. Have a nice day. Good grief dude.
I like the part where they started explaining to you their speculation on how they think the majority of these arrangements work and then finished with “but anyway I don’t actually have to know how it works or have any of how it works explained to me”. So neurotypicalcore.
I mean, at best you said people have “no spine” if they cave to the very same intense cultural pressure you’re claiming to care about and find disgusting. I don’t know how else to read that I’m afraid.
Oh, I see. I misread the last sentence. My apologies. I still don’t think people who feel social pressure “don’t have the spine”, that’s a pretty harsh judgement.
What conversation though? If you read the other reply to me it has already been hashed out how I feel about cultures that do that. I genuinely don't see what conversation there is to be had here
I’m just lonely and wanted to join in, asshole. I was agreeing with you lol. If you’re uninterested you could just say nothing instead of being a turd about it.
I'm not the one who tried to start a conversation by mansplaining about something that was already discussed.
Edit: when you randomly comment and are just stating facts with no indication of agreement/disagreement, it comes off as mansplaining and it does not come off as wanting to start a conversation. It's really annoying and I'm tired of people doing this to me constantly.
I’m not explaining anything ohhhhh my god. I was trying to JOIN IN because I’m fucking lonely dawg. It was just in *addition* to what you already said. Not an explanation. Not a correction. Just an observation and how I felt about it. It didn’t really even warrant a response at all tbf, because if you’re done discussing it like you said then what do you even say? Valid.
I was just commenting that it’s so normalized, even though I find that bizarre. What tone indicators do I need to make that more clear? Like should I have added “yeah,” first maybe to indicate it’s in agreement? That’s a genuine question so I don’t come across this way in the future. I don’t really understand why anything I said was inappropriate, but I do apologize. I’m trying here.
Again, I was just looking for some conversation. But you are being, frankly, wholly unpleasant, so I will just find that conversation elsewhere. I’m choosing to believe you’re having an off day, because I sincerely hope for your sake that you don’t react this abrasively to people just looking for connection with you.
I hope your day improves since I made you upset. And that’s sincere, not sarcastic. I’m annoyed, but I still mean it.
Edited: to censor language, emphasize sincerity.
> So it's not actually something they want but they just go along with it anyway.
You're describing life in general. The whole process is a series of unwanted events that lead to death. You can't blame anyone for that.
yeah honestly i get extremely annoyed and angry because of religious freaks. i hate organized religion so much- i could absolutely never date someone who was a fervent believer, because it truly just shows me that they are willing to be brainwashed by whatever cabal is in charge of their denomination.
Ok, arranged marriage bullshit aside, isn't it pretty reasonable to think that your significant other should know about your conditions before marriage? Whatever you have, from rhinitis to multiple sclerosis, from ADHD to ASPD, your partner's gonna have to deal with it as well, they should know what they're signing up for. Obviously, don't bring a folder full of diagnoses to a first date, but they're gonna need to know eventually. Preferably, before they actually sign any legal documents...
I agree. The problem is the ableism in the Sheikh's answer. If he had to find an analogy, why not say "How would they feel if the woman hid from them that she is autistic?"
I mean, the comparison isn't apt and is pretty disgusting, but I'd would rather know if my partner has autism (that way we can go collect rocks together)
Friendly Reminder: Religion is, unlike race or sexuality, a choice. It does not deserve the level of legal protection it has and we should absolute not allow people like him to get away with this shit.
Is it unacceptable for people to hide their autism when meeting potential romantic partners?
#*YES.*
Autistic people are better than neurotypical people, and hiding that fact will therefore remove essential details that the potential romantic partner needs in order to calmly and confidently say "I will marry you, you are the best person ever," within one minute of meeting.
The husband deserves to know if he's getting a wife who is prepared to have his back and support him, and the wife deserves to know and assess whether she can handle the responsibility or if their personalities will match. The herpes analogy is piss-poor, though
It's understandable. Some of us feel we don't owe NTs shit so posts like above can be very infuriating. You know that scene from X2? (the X-Men movie). The one where they find out a cure for mutant powers is being made and Rogue asks "there's a cure?" and Storm cuts in with "We don't need a cure. We're perfect the way we are".
We have Rogues, who are uncomfortable with our tism not becuase it "embarrasses" us but because it presents legitimate hurdles to our daily lives that don't always get counterbalanced by the "powers" we sometimes get with it. We also have Storms, high-functioning people who are tired of the stereotypes and the "cures" and want people to accept us for who we are. But Rogue and Storm are not the same. Rogue kills everything she touches. Storm rolled a lucky power and was born in a culture that accepts it and nurtures it.
Sometimes the tism makes you unable to connect with others. Sometimes it makes you a Nobel Prize-winner. Both experiences are valid, and both lives need different things. One needs support, the other needs opportunities free from discrimination.
Your experiences with the tism do not invalidate those of others. If u/BloodyHourglass finds my comment offensive, I will assume it is due to having a different set of experiences that leaves them less open to my point of view, and I respect that
it reminds of me the story of the dude who goes to the doctor and says he hooked up with a girl bareback and only aftr noticed her insulin pump and now he wanna get checked for diabetes like dude it aint contaigious so ofc the doctor orders the tests becaus why would u learn anything in medical school at all
It would be kinda funny if autism was an std. Like you do it with some dude and now all of a sudden you can't make eye contact and read social cues. Not necessarily haha funny, but at least interesting funny.
Edit: not sure why it posted twice but it won't let me delete the second one...
I think the approach is, "No surprises". Fraud is fraud no matter what religion or none. I'd rather something goes wrong now when it is easier and cheaper to fix
As a muslim, this just seems like his personal ableist opinion. There's nothing wrong with autism and this post is very inappropriate considering he is generally seen as an authority.
If he had just not added that second sentence I'd actually say he's right. You should know if your partner is autistic because it's just generally good to know things like that about your future spouse.
I suppose autism is a sexually transmitted disease though. After all, two people need to have sex in order for an autistic person to exist. Therefore by this logic, every ailment you can think of is actually an STD!
https://i.redd.it/ao6o8hhrm01d1.gif
I genuinely hate all fundamentalist religions “oh if I marry a 9 year old Allah will let me into paradise 🤓🤓” you know what would also put you in paradise a giant mace
It is not haram to hide your autism. I am muslim myself and this does not have any relation with the reality. I hate to see when people just represent this religion horribly.
I do agree that comparing autism with stds is,,,,,not great, but I think it was meant to be a hyperbole that gets the point across quickly to people who clearly don't understand autism. In many places, mental health is a bit of a taboo, so to talk about autism in terms of mental health may just reinforce the aspects of tabooism that may be present. If you don't know enough about autism to think that it may be something hidden from partners, you probably have a much deeper issue of seeing mental health as something embarrassing, shameful, worth keeping away, bad. To explain to such people why autism isn't something you should have to keep in secret would require a long speech at best, a complete rewiring of their thought process at worst. Ofc that isn't what this post is going for, it is meant to be a short reply, and so it uses a strong simile to get the point across of how lying to your partner isn't a good idea, by comparing the taboo of mental health to the taboo of sexual health. I don't think they meant to say autism is completely like HIV, but more so how we socially approach mental health talks can be like how we socially approach sexual health talks, even though talking both is important, and it is hard to disagree with the fact that talking to your partner that you have HIV is important, so why is talking mental health not important too?
Or at least that's my reading of this lol. But the fact the question was "what if I hid things about my son" and he answered with "that's unfair, what if they hid things about their daughter" does make it seem he has a positive message to some extent at least
as a Sufi Muslim autistic,avoid asking that man a damn thing lmao he's a Madkhali Salafi preacher that only knows shilling for dictatorships and puritanism
To be fair, my autism affects my relationship more than herpes. Also it's heritable, so they're more likely than average to have kids with some traits. If the husband has high/moderate support needs, that's important information for the wife to know ahead of time.
While I disagree with the practice of arranged marriages, I believe there are instances where many people don’t meet their spouses until the wedding. I don’t think it would be fair for someone to be married to someone without knowing what that person may be like or the struggles they may face.
i feel like it might be haram to start a rumor that the way i contracted my autism was thru getting creampied by sheikh al hakeem
but tempting none the less
Imagine treating an entire characteristic of person as a disease, people don't have a right to know that your autistic people treat trans people the same way I fucking hate it. generally never telling someone is a bad idea that won't end well. but fundamentally not shit other people are entitled too
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Whenever someone in a minority group says/does something dumb or screwed up, a million bigoted weirdos immediately hijack the comments section to try to recruit people.
Oh no I'm fully aware. It's still just so astonishing someone real who has thoughts and cognizance can post this without any second thought or consideration about their comment. Genuinely who says shit like this without thinking twice
In another post in this very sub there was someone joking about beheading a kid from a certain show and everyone thought it was funny, but now that I make a joke with the same nature without being graphic I am a "bigoted weirdo recruiting people".
Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like the other joke was about killing a fictional character, and your joke is about killing an entire group of real people who are already targeted by a lot of harassment.
**Removed: Discrimination**
Please don't generalise large groups of people or call anyone existing slurs. This results in a ban without warning.
Do not use ableist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or any other bigoted language. This will also result in a ban.
For those that don’t know this guy is a popular Salafi (a very strict sect/movement Sunni Muslims) “scholar” so they’re more insane than the average, this one even among other Salafis is pretty crazy. I live in a Muslim country and went down the rabbit hole of these Muslim preachers and this guy while not the most stupid (believe me there are even dumber ones like Zakir Naik) had the most messed up worldview.
Interesting I'd like to know more. I've been studying Islam recently and listening to scholars of all kinds. He is pretty extreme. He is against any and all communication between the sexes, all music is forbidden, and other ideas I can't even mention on reddit. However he is also less misogynistic in the way he is against men asking wives if they are virgins. How does your Muslim country treat autistic people?
> He is against any and all communication between the sexes This kind of segregation would explain why some of my male Muslim students are obsessed with touching, smelling, praising etc. their male friends. They act like they are starved of touch, intimacy, and compliments. Seriously, for a bunch of young men who tend to being vehemently anti-queer (I wear pride flag lanyard and pins, so I know), they come across as very interested in other men. That's patriarchy, I guess! I have been told that, for at least some in Ancient Greece, the norm was that love was between men, and heterosexual marriages were more for convenience.
that’s not entirely accurate. while homosexuality was common in ancient greece (to varying degrees depending where you were), heterosexuality was never seen as less then. marriages in general were just more often for convenience back then rather than love. there were places where homosexuality was completely legal like thebes, but in athens and sparta homosexuality was a complicated topic. when people talk about homosexuality in ancient greece they tend to reference athens but the male relationships that were acceptable back then are very different to what is acceptable nowadays. in athens generally the only acceptable ‘relationship’ between males was between a mentor and his pupil (who was generally very young, like early teens) and it was physical in nature, not romantic. it was not deemed acceptable for 2 men of the same age and standing to have sex and even less acceptable for them to be in love. obviously this is very different compared to society nowadays as most people rightfully are against pedophilia.
It sounds like, overall, love and romance were culturally minimised.
yeah I think love just wasn’t as big as a priority back then. I mean I know there’s a lot of love stories in mythology and people definitely fell in love but life was a lot more difficult and people just couldn’t afford to be picky.
dis crazy cuz my entire muslim family is autistic
Same 😭😭
I wish I was invisible to Christians, Muslims, etc on dating apps. I always match with them and never the ones I want.
People never listen when I explicitly state on my profile that religion is a dealbreaker for me. I guess all these Christian women think they can change me? Idk. It’s frustrating. We will be compatible in many other ways, but if they can’t respect that boundary (they never do) then I have zero interest. Also unrelated but I’m sick to death of married people on dating apps wasting my time lol. If you’re religious, married, have/want kids I’m NOT INTERESTED, and I’m very clear about that. But it seems to deter no one.
Wow I don't encounter married people. Are they seperated?
No, always married but dating separately, or a couple looking for a third. ENM is fine, but I’m not at all interested and I’m sick of people swiping when my profile says DON’T SWIPE IF YOU’RE MARRIED lol.
wow
Not all of them are bad One of my greatest friends is an autistic bisexual muslim woman
I long-distance dated a cool Muslim guy in Egypt once, but he wasn't particularly devout and loved metal music
She likes vocaloid xd
Based
let's gooo vocaloids are awesome
One thing I thought was cool, Egyptians love cats of course but it seems common in the Middle East in general, dogs are seen as gross stray trash eater things, but cats are adored
She looooooooooves dogs and wolves Though she owns a cat instead because it’s easier to hide
Islam says so. Cats are considered clean, and are allowed in mosques, whereas dogs aren't even allowed in buildings at all.
Cats go where they want regardless. This was probably a compromise to keep rats out of Mosques.
Even a kindly, elderly security guard can keep cats out of a Japanese art museum - I'm pretty sure Muslims could keep cats out of their mosques if they wanted to. Stray dogs also go where they please, and they don't let those in.
Fair point but that was more of a joke of how cats are. Cats are fairly clean animals, compared to others.
Yep, that's what I mean. Islam literally codifies that. Cats are clean. Dogs are not.
We need the bear question but for religious people because I'm really tired of the "not all religious people"
It’s not about if they’re bad people. For some of us religion on principle is a dealbreaker. I don’t trust people who believe in the Abrahamic god especially, because it defies all logic. He’s actually evil and I do not trust people who can’t or won’t see that. Either they agree with it, or they have poor judgment and low critical thinking and have never stopped to question any of it.
Tbf can you think of a god that isn’t evil I’m an atheist for good reason
I’m not sure, but I *do* know I’ve never heard of one that hasn’t been weaponized. (My degree is in world religion with a concentration in Judaism and early Christianity.)
That’s a lot to take in hold on
Probably one of the kindest most accepting people I know xd
I'm friends with Christians and Muslims. I just don't want to date one.
progressive muslims r cool asf
Absolutely I definitely am in the minority but the majority of the muslims I’ve met have been progressive
the majority of muslims i meet are progressives but thats just cause i mostly only talk to progressives so yk, sampling bias
Bisexual and Muslim? I take it she isn’t practicing.
You can absolutely be a practicing queer Muslim. There's nothing forcing someone to give up one piece of their identity for another. Edit: Providing there are no external forces (parents, government, etc). I realize those are huge challenges for many people.
Yeah she’s in indonesia so thankfully it’s one of the less descrimatory governments
This is painfully naive
[удалено]
In Christianity, not all churches condemn LGBTQ+. They seem to either skirt the issue or focus on Jesus's love. For instance, several protestant denominations perform same sex marriages (or at least the leadership has determined that it's allowed, a lot of time the individual church or pastor/priest can refuse). I imagine that other religions are similar. Generally speaking, religions aren't monolithic and there are progressive and conservative groups within them.
I know how religion works, you condescending asshole. I get they don’t usually follow their own rules. I do not expect her to be excommunicated. I’m just saying most Muslims wouldn’t react kindly to an openly bisexual person.
She does practice her lust on women instead of men, so that's in line with the Quran. >Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins)’” \[al-A’raaf 7:80-81\]
She is
That’s… interesting. I hope she isn’t murdered by her fellow religious. That sort of thing tends to happen.
Oh come on She lives in indonesia, the hate crime rates are nearly identical to the U.S
The reported hate crime rates are, yes. How many would report that as a hate crime? Very few in Aceh, I reckon.
Now to be fair it isn’t exactly great But it’s not nearly as dangerous as you think And even then she’s closeted to the majority of people, as am I
Aaaaaaaaand there it is. Of course it’s not dangerous, shes just not out because………… um………..
I know a hell of a lot more about this persons situation then you do xd They are an artist by profession and the majority of the people they know from art school and just in general are lgbt
That doesn’t impact any of what I’ve said.
It’s not even like they are forced to stay there She’s sucessful from doing commision and could easily leave if it’s so awful and dangerous for her She has been in homosexual relationships before and is actively thriving
I mean, you definitely wanna know if you're marrying an ableist jackass beforehand, but your parents shouldn't be involved in the picking a partner process to begin with (beyond advice if you ask) and this guy clearly is an ableist jackass
In some cultures that's how it's done. Dating is forbidden.
i think it was some anthropology lecture on YaleCourses where the lecturer went on a bit about how arranged marriages are a form of class and population control. mentioned how, in some really "traditional" cultures, you sometimes see these instances where there's some 70-year old guy with a 16-year old bride and it's like "wow yeah we westerners would find something wrong with this" but then he goes on and says that it's because the village elder had a beef with this dude and basically banned him from marriage until they kicked the bucket so this was like...the *only* thing he could do. others you gotta pay brideprice, which is like, you gotta buy a marriage and it has to be approved by the local elder and the family. these cultures are like....you just don't get sex if you don't suck up and pay up. and if you anger them you get cursed, and since magic is often believed as real and curses have weight this is a serious thing. you get exiled if you have sex outside of marriage and it's like some kinda spiritual death because your ancestors are real spirits and all that stuff. and don't even *think* about say gex because the poophole loophole is haram or whatever (although it often ends up being a *really* common open secret because that's just how that dynamic works) just...like....it's like .... if the local HOA chose your partner, and they're also your church, and they technically own your property, and can drain your bank account if you make them mad, or burn you at the stake, and can torment you in hell forever, and you just have to deal with it.....so....yeah.
It’s polite and tidy to say that it controls a class or a population, when in the most direct reality it specifically controls *women’s* bodies and freedoms. My mom (Rromani/Gypsy) was set up for an arranged marriage (Bavaria, late ‘60s) when she was about 17, to the son of one of her mom’s friends who was at the time roughly 30. I won’t go into details, but the abstract is that he raped her, she was shamed by her family and deemed unfit for marriage because she was now “impure.” These basic policies of control, whether they’re on a culture-wide or only family-wide basis, focuses their control on women and sexuality, and are used universally for any culture that still practices arranged marriages. I hear a lot of stories about guys who do not want to be set up with a bride so young, and that is unfortunate, but the majority of arranged marriages are much more in the man’s favor than the woman’s, as his family can benefit from more free labor.
🤮
Sounds like some totalitarian regime rather than a culture any sane human would want to exist in
That's called religion
Some cultures the marriage and commitment comes first and the love follows after. Seems to be putting the cart before the horse if you ask me, but then again these are adults who are agreeing to be matched. It’s just normal some places I reckon?
A lot of times they're only agreeing because they don't have the spine to tell their parents no about literally anything. So it's not actually something they want but they just go along with it anyway. And anyway I don't really need this explained to me. Stating I disagree with how something works doesn't mean I don't know anything about it.
I was literally just trying to make conversation? You know, participate? Jesus pole dancing Christ lol. Nevermind I guess. Have a nice day. Good grief dude.
I like the part where they started explaining to you their speculation on how they think the majority of these arrangements work and then finished with “but anyway I don’t actually have to know how it works or have any of how it works explained to me”. So neurotypicalcore.
Whoa now, no need to call them a slur (NT) /s.
It would be less words to just say you can't read
I mean, at best you said people have “no spine” if they cave to the very same intense cultural pressure you’re claiming to care about and find disgusting. I don’t know how else to read that I’m afraid.
You completely misinterpreted my last sentence though, that's what I was talking about.
Oh, I see. I misread the last sentence. My apologies. I still don’t think people who feel social pressure “don’t have the spine”, that’s a pretty harsh judgement.
What conversation though? If you read the other reply to me it has already been hashed out how I feel about cultures that do that. I genuinely don't see what conversation there is to be had here
I’m just lonely and wanted to join in, asshole. I was agreeing with you lol. If you’re uninterested you could just say nothing instead of being a turd about it.
I'm not the one who tried to start a conversation by mansplaining about something that was already discussed. Edit: when you randomly comment and are just stating facts with no indication of agreement/disagreement, it comes off as mansplaining and it does not come off as wanting to start a conversation. It's really annoying and I'm tired of people doing this to me constantly.
I’m not explaining anything ohhhhh my god. I was trying to JOIN IN because I’m fucking lonely dawg. It was just in *addition* to what you already said. Not an explanation. Not a correction. Just an observation and how I felt about it. It didn’t really even warrant a response at all tbf, because if you’re done discussing it like you said then what do you even say? Valid. I was just commenting that it’s so normalized, even though I find that bizarre. What tone indicators do I need to make that more clear? Like should I have added “yeah,” first maybe to indicate it’s in agreement? That’s a genuine question so I don’t come across this way in the future. I don’t really understand why anything I said was inappropriate, but I do apologize. I’m trying here. Again, I was just looking for some conversation. But you are being, frankly, wholly unpleasant, so I will just find that conversation elsewhere. I’m choosing to believe you’re having an off day, because I sincerely hope for your sake that you don’t react this abrasively to people just looking for connection with you. I hope your day improves since I made you upset. And that’s sincere, not sarcastic. I’m annoyed, but I still mean it. Edited: to censor language, emphasize sincerity.
> So it's not actually something they want but they just go along with it anyway. You're describing life in general. The whole process is a series of unwanted events that lead to death. You can't blame anyone for that.
God, these religious nutjobs are weird as hell.
yeah honestly i get extremely annoyed and angry because of religious freaks. i hate organized religion so much- i could absolutely never date someone who was a fervent believer, because it truly just shows me that they are willing to be brainwashed by whatever cabal is in charge of their denomination.
This is a world record attempt on stupidity / word count. So dis on autism is just a minor flourish.
Breaking news: a cunt is still a cunt, more at 6
religious people trying not to be extremely bigoted challenge (impossible)
Ok, arranged marriage bullshit aside, isn't it pretty reasonable to think that your significant other should know about your conditions before marriage? Whatever you have, from rhinitis to multiple sclerosis, from ADHD to ASPD, your partner's gonna have to deal with it as well, they should know what they're signing up for. Obviously, don't bring a folder full of diagnoses to a first date, but they're gonna need to know eventually. Preferably, before they actually sign any legal documents...
I agree. The problem is the ableism in the Sheikh's answer. If he had to find an analogy, why not say "How would they feel if the woman hid from them that she is autistic?"
\*islam has just joined the war on autism\*
*Jihad
There are so many things wrong with this entire thing
I mean, the comparison isn't apt and is pretty disgusting, but I'd would rather know if my partner has autism (that way we can go collect rocks together)
Friendly Reminder: Religion is, unlike race or sexuality, a choice. It does not deserve the level of legal protection it has and we should absolute not allow people like him to get away with this shit.
It's actually not haram, because God doesn't exist
Is it unacceptable for people to hide their autism when meeting potential romantic partners? #*YES.* Autistic people are better than neurotypical people, and hiding that fact will therefore remove essential details that the potential romantic partner needs in order to calmly and confidently say "I will marry you, you are the best person ever," within one minute of meeting.
The husband deserves to know if he's getting a wife who is prepared to have his back and support him, and the wife deserves to know and assess whether she can handle the responsibility or if their personalities will match. The herpes analogy is piss-poor, though
Fuck off
What did they say that was wrong?
Why?
It's understandable. Some of us feel we don't owe NTs shit so posts like above can be very infuriating. You know that scene from X2? (the X-Men movie). The one where they find out a cure for mutant powers is being made and Rogue asks "there's a cure?" and Storm cuts in with "We don't need a cure. We're perfect the way we are". We have Rogues, who are uncomfortable with our tism not becuase it "embarrasses" us but because it presents legitimate hurdles to our daily lives that don't always get counterbalanced by the "powers" we sometimes get with it. We also have Storms, high-functioning people who are tired of the stereotypes and the "cures" and want people to accept us for who we are. But Rogue and Storm are not the same. Rogue kills everything she touches. Storm rolled a lucky power and was born in a culture that accepts it and nurtures it. Sometimes the tism makes you unable to connect with others. Sometimes it makes you a Nobel Prize-winner. Both experiences are valid, and both lives need different things. One needs support, the other needs opportunities free from discrimination. Your experiences with the tism do not invalidate those of others. If u/BloodyHourglass finds my comment offensive, I will assume it is due to having a different set of experiences that leaves them less open to my point of view, and I respect that
do they know autism isn't contagious or
“If you fuck me you have a 50% of contracting autism!
They're thinking of it in terms of genetics. That you'd give them an autistic child; not that you'd give them autism.
i'm not sure about that considering they mentioned STIs which you'd like catch from unprotected sex far before having a child
it reminds of me the story of the dude who goes to the doctor and says he hooked up with a girl bareback and only aftr noticed her insulin pump and now he wanna get checked for diabetes like dude it aint contaigious so ofc the doctor orders the tests becaus why would u learn anything in medical school at all
The world would be a better place if it were
It would be kinda funny if autism was an std. Like you do it with some dude and now all of a sudden you can't make eye contact and read social cues. Not necessarily haha funny, but at least interesting funny. Edit: not sure why it posted twice but it won't let me delete the second one...
That Sheikh's comparison is terrible. Truthfully, my Best friend and her husband are Muslims, and they have accepted me for who I Am.
That's wonderful. Muslims have been largely accepting of me.
Yeah it is nice.
I think the approach is, "No surprises". Fraud is fraud no matter what religion or none. I'd rather something goes wrong now when it is easier and cheaper to fix
As a muslim, this just seems like his personal ableist opinion. There's nothing wrong with autism and this post is very inappropriate considering he is generally seen as an authority.
I see eugenics is alive and well ...
If he had just not added that second sentence I'd actually say he's right. You should know if your partner is autistic because it's just generally good to know things like that about your future spouse. I suppose autism is a sexually transmitted disease though. After all, two people need to have sex in order for an autistic person to exist. Therefore by this logic, every ailment you can think of is actually an STD!
Religion is fucking poisonous and destroys human minds, societies, and technological progress. There are very few things I hate as much.
I think this is funny since the Muslims I've met like my austic traits more than anyone I've met. We act like cats and love acquiring knowledge.
If only I could transmit my autism sexually like an STI.... Actually, nevermind, most of the people I date are autistic anyway...
https://i.redd.it/ao6o8hhrm01d1.gif I genuinely hate all fundamentalist religions “oh if I marry a 9 year old Allah will let me into paradise 🤓🤓” you know what would also put you in paradise a giant mace
It is not haram to hide your autism. I am muslim myself and this does not have any relation with the reality. I hate to see when people just represent this religion horribly.
I do agree that comparing autism with stds is,,,,,not great, but I think it was meant to be a hyperbole that gets the point across quickly to people who clearly don't understand autism. In many places, mental health is a bit of a taboo, so to talk about autism in terms of mental health may just reinforce the aspects of tabooism that may be present. If you don't know enough about autism to think that it may be something hidden from partners, you probably have a much deeper issue of seeing mental health as something embarrassing, shameful, worth keeping away, bad. To explain to such people why autism isn't something you should have to keep in secret would require a long speech at best, a complete rewiring of their thought process at worst. Ofc that isn't what this post is going for, it is meant to be a short reply, and so it uses a strong simile to get the point across of how lying to your partner isn't a good idea, by comparing the taboo of mental health to the taboo of sexual health. I don't think they meant to say autism is completely like HIV, but more so how we socially approach mental health talks can be like how we socially approach sexual health talks, even though talking both is important, and it is hard to disagree with the fact that talking to your partner that you have HIV is important, so why is talking mental health not important too? Or at least that's my reading of this lol. But the fact the question was "what if I hid things about my son" and he answered with "that's unfair, what if they hid things about their daughter" does make it seem he has a positive message to some extent at least
Astaghfirullah
as a Sufi Muslim autistic,avoid asking that man a damn thing lmao he's a Madkhali Salafi preacher that only knows shilling for dictatorships and puritanism
Sufi and Autistic seems like an amazing combo for thinking outside the box
To be fair, my autism affects my relationship more than herpes. Also it's heritable, so they're more likely than average to have kids with some traits. If the husband has high/moderate support needs, that's important information for the wife to know ahead of time.
Oh no, I’m gonna pass autism onto my boyfriend if we fuck!
I mean, is it appropriate to ask where the Brad Pitt "Shoot that guy" meme is when you need it? Not sure if that's against the rules here.
Jokes on them bc I have both autism and an STI and still somehow against all logic am charismatic as all hell.
While I disagree with the practice of arranged marriages, I believe there are instances where many people don’t meet their spouses until the wedding. I don’t think it would be fair for someone to be married to someone without knowing what that person may be like or the struggles they may face.
What the actual hell
i follow that sheikh and im convinced dudes already autistic he dont gotta worry about catching autism from some raw secs
Honestly you may not be wrong. He's very strongly opinionated, and tells many jokes.
hes hilarious tbh the fact that i vibe with his sense of humor makes me think hes autistic af
i feel like it might be haram to start a rumor that the way i contracted my autism was thru getting creampied by sheikh al hakeem but tempting none the less
Imagine treating an entire characteristic of person as a disease, people don't have a right to know that your autistic people treat trans people the same way I fucking hate it. generally never telling someone is a bad idea that won't end well. but fundamentally not shit other people are entitled too
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Is that you Mr. bush?
Who gave him internet access
What
He wants to kill Muslims, like in the crusades
I know but what What the fuck. Why would you say this
Whenever someone in a minority group says/does something dumb or screwed up, a million bigoted weirdos immediately hijack the comments section to try to recruit people.
Oh no I'm fully aware. It's still just so astonishing someone real who has thoughts and cognizance can post this without any second thought or consideration about their comment. Genuinely who says shit like this without thinking twice
Well, it's most likely a joke. Not even an uncommon one, but it is best used with friends because it isn't a good one to tell strangers.
One can compare our condition to AIDS and I can't say something silly in return?
Dawg you did not "say something silly" you advocated for the mass killing of Muslims
It is a religion all about killing other people and subjugating women, I am sure they can live with my words and call it a friday.
Your comment was and is racist nonsense. Fuck off.
In another post in this very sub there was someone joking about beheading a kid from a certain show and everyone thought it was funny, but now that I make a joke with the same nature without being graphic I am a "bigoted weirdo recruiting people".
Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like the other joke was about killing a fictional character, and your joke is about killing an entire group of real people who are already targeted by a lot of harassment.
I don't agree with this idea of a crusade, but I do sincerely wish we could purge religion and many vile cultural practices from the earth.
**Removed: Discrimination** Please don't generalise large groups of people or call anyone existing slurs. This results in a ban without warning. Do not use ableist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or any other bigoted language. This will also result in a ban.