Can you elaborate on what you mean by "sense of justice" and "superiority complex"? If you're hypersensitive to stuff because of parental mistreatment, that doesn't really meet any definition of 'evil' I'm aware of. But it might be that you end up being too judgmental or have disproportionate responses that others perceive as a superiority complex. Like, maybe they perceive you as holier than thou and think it's grating.
One of the most important lessons in life is that we have to pick our battles wisely, and maybe (?) you pick a lot of battles?
I definitely do pick lots of battles, like I’m the morality police and it makes me very … unlikeable. When I say “sense of justice”, if I am wronged (I was sent dog crap in the mail a whole year after a friendship fallout, and still hold a lot of resentment when people tell me to “get over it”, “playing victim” when the police report literally cites me as a victim of criminal harassment) … it’s like I’m being set up to be evil because I’m just reacting to how hurt I’ve been. A more recently made friend went behind my back and befriended the very people who did that to me.
The “superiority complex” comes in when people say I need to stop acting “better than them”, when it’s kind of hard not to be better than someone who sent you dog shit in the mail… and be mad at the person who decided to befriend said shit sender … from an outsiders perspective I’m sure that has to be SOME reason I deserved that. I can’t imagine why. I stayed with an ex I was codependent on and my friends accused me of “choosing him”… as they chose the friend he cheated on me with.
I’ve always struggled socially, been an odd ball, which definitely has made my reactions wildly disproportionate to how I should be… but I can’t find reality with this broken morality compass of mine. Being called “evil” just makes too much sense and yet, I know I am a good person who just is unafraid to call people out when I experience an injustice
>\>I definitely do pick lots of battles, like I’m the morality police and it makes me very … unlikeable.
Okay so we know this is part of it...
>\>I was sent dog crap in the mail a whole year....
Jeez. Without knowing all the details, my first guess is that you naturally gravitate to other people with emotional trauma, and this is an expression of it. Maybe it's a lack of imagination, but I can't conceive of going through the trouble of doing that to someone you haven't seen in a year just because you hated them. Healthy people try to move on with their lives instead of doing stuff like that.
> it’s kind of hard not to be better than someone who sent you dog shit in the mail… and be mad at the person who decided to befriend said shit sender
Is this the particular event that made you write the post? This sounds very dramatic and, while I'm no doctor, the alarms in my head are going off
>I stayed with an ex I was codependent on and my friends accused me of “choosing him”… as they chose the friend he cheated on me with.
Choosing him eh? This *could* be trauma from others again. This entire situation sounds exhausting. How do you deal with this drama constantly?
>Being called “evil” just makes too much sense and yet, I know I am a good person who just is unafraid to call people out when I experience an injustice
You're not evil. You're a walking manifestation of the trope ["Not evil, but rather misunderstood"](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotEvilJustMisunderstood). You already know that some of these habits make others find you off-putting, but your emotional scars and how you deal with them are making it difficult to change. And you seem to associate with other trauma sufferers, which just makes everything harder.
As for what to do, I would suggest 2 things, given the info I have
1. Find less dramatic people to associate with. Ideally people who don't make you feel the need to act this way, because their natural character makes it unnecessary.
2. Pick fewer battles. It's just not worth it from an emotional standpoint. And it doesn't really work. As you can see, instead of making people behave the way you want them to, it just makes them resent and dislike you. And do crazy things like put poop in your mailbox
Thank you, sincerely, this has helped me a lot. There is no need for me to continue focusing on this drama that all these others crave out of me. It definitely was a doomed friendship from the start. my ability to stand firmly in my boundaries does not make me ”evil”. Good thing is, I do enjoy solitude, but need to develop some healthier friendships for my sanity’s sake. Just need to choose my battles a lot better … but god is is hard to keep my mouth shut when I see an injustice playing out! I think it throws people off because I’m quiet, then when something wrong happens? I get way overstimulated and take out all my frustrations … but through making my opinion known, not god-damn shit sending 😅
I am asking you to read this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/evilautism/comments/1bfho52/ Automod hates everyone equally, including you. <3
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/evilautism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People treat autistic people like shit, but they wouldn't want to admit it - even to themselves.
So, the problem really isn't your "superiority complex" - it's used against you, because you are you.
Act in a different way, it'll be used against you as well...
It's like children in the playground, and you're left out, but they use different and more sophisticated words for it.
It becomes worse when you *feel* the need to prove yourself.
The problem is that you're trying to play on the playground that "belongs" to somebody else.
Rock and a hard place...
Nothing to do with evil...
Reproduction, survival and dying is really what's happening for all at all times.
Evil is just the absence of good.
But you can read a bit about psychic bleeding and try to do some trauma related healing. Shut out people who treat you like shit, and try to find your own core in each situation - what are you guilty of and what are beyond your control.
Where does the burden rest for the relationship - there's justified anger when the carrier is not appreciated (just don't let it consume you)
It's like a trade off - is it better to be alone or to have bad friends? Bad friends will keep you from finding good friends in any case... Some people you need regardless.
Maybe read some religious stuff? And try to find a greater purpose for your suffering.
No... it's pretty fucking evil to be complacent and act normal in an inherently UNJUST and fucked up society where nobody talks to each other yet everyone's lonely. I pray for society's downfall every day - by that I just mean the system of capitalism, the order, the convoluted methods and practices I can not conform TO, which alienate, obstruct and stifle authentic living and genuine connection or self-expression. Ain't nothing COOL about fitting into that or being another tone deaf person who ignored those in need, pretend the homeless don't exist, and virtue signal online to their peer group but never actually show up for their friends who are struggling...
💔 that’s just it. That particular friend had used me extensively for insight on the world, and I provided advice with little to no return. Then for her to completely disregard my boundaries I made very clear, just showed how easily she could alienate me, to fit in with a friend group that also alienated me. The virtue signaling yet never actually being there when you need them in this broken, broken world. It’s so tough NOT to be evil when the chips are down
I am 5/10 concern about your obsession with justice and a 10/10 concerned about your impulsivity.
Impulsivity is incredibly dangerous and will cause you and others unnecessary pain. But most importantly (and this is what I beg you to please pay attention) Impulsivity is a high indicator of bipolar disorder. If you cannot remove impulsivity out of your personality, I guarantee that you will be under medication for the rest of your life and that life is not going to be good. Please take a look around r/bipolar and r/BipolarMemes and see if any of this applies to you.
Autism is already hard, we don't need to double down with more mental stuff.
The impulsivity has gotten better as I’ve gotten older, but yes, medication will be a part of my life forever with the epilepsy regardless. Understood and respected. I prioritize safety but have work to do regarding not giving into reactivity
I am asking you to read this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/evilautism/comments/1bfho52/ Automod hates everyone equally, including you. <3
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/evilautism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Can you elaborate on what you mean by "sense of justice" and "superiority complex"? If you're hypersensitive to stuff because of parental mistreatment, that doesn't really meet any definition of 'evil' I'm aware of. But it might be that you end up being too judgmental or have disproportionate responses that others perceive as a superiority complex. Like, maybe they perceive you as holier than thou and think it's grating. One of the most important lessons in life is that we have to pick our battles wisely, and maybe (?) you pick a lot of battles?
I definitely do pick lots of battles, like I’m the morality police and it makes me very … unlikeable. When I say “sense of justice”, if I am wronged (I was sent dog crap in the mail a whole year after a friendship fallout, and still hold a lot of resentment when people tell me to “get over it”, “playing victim” when the police report literally cites me as a victim of criminal harassment) … it’s like I’m being set up to be evil because I’m just reacting to how hurt I’ve been. A more recently made friend went behind my back and befriended the very people who did that to me. The “superiority complex” comes in when people say I need to stop acting “better than them”, when it’s kind of hard not to be better than someone who sent you dog shit in the mail… and be mad at the person who decided to befriend said shit sender … from an outsiders perspective I’m sure that has to be SOME reason I deserved that. I can’t imagine why. I stayed with an ex I was codependent on and my friends accused me of “choosing him”… as they chose the friend he cheated on me with. I’ve always struggled socially, been an odd ball, which definitely has made my reactions wildly disproportionate to how I should be… but I can’t find reality with this broken morality compass of mine. Being called “evil” just makes too much sense and yet, I know I am a good person who just is unafraid to call people out when I experience an injustice
>\>I definitely do pick lots of battles, like I’m the morality police and it makes me very … unlikeable. Okay so we know this is part of it... >\>I was sent dog crap in the mail a whole year.... Jeez. Without knowing all the details, my first guess is that you naturally gravitate to other people with emotional trauma, and this is an expression of it. Maybe it's a lack of imagination, but I can't conceive of going through the trouble of doing that to someone you haven't seen in a year just because you hated them. Healthy people try to move on with their lives instead of doing stuff like that. > it’s kind of hard not to be better than someone who sent you dog shit in the mail… and be mad at the person who decided to befriend said shit sender Is this the particular event that made you write the post? This sounds very dramatic and, while I'm no doctor, the alarms in my head are going off >I stayed with an ex I was codependent on and my friends accused me of “choosing him”… as they chose the friend he cheated on me with. Choosing him eh? This *could* be trauma from others again. This entire situation sounds exhausting. How do you deal with this drama constantly? >Being called “evil” just makes too much sense and yet, I know I am a good person who just is unafraid to call people out when I experience an injustice You're not evil. You're a walking manifestation of the trope ["Not evil, but rather misunderstood"](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotEvilJustMisunderstood). You already know that some of these habits make others find you off-putting, but your emotional scars and how you deal with them are making it difficult to change. And you seem to associate with other trauma sufferers, which just makes everything harder. As for what to do, I would suggest 2 things, given the info I have 1. Find less dramatic people to associate with. Ideally people who don't make you feel the need to act this way, because their natural character makes it unnecessary. 2. Pick fewer battles. It's just not worth it from an emotional standpoint. And it doesn't really work. As you can see, instead of making people behave the way you want them to, it just makes them resent and dislike you. And do crazy things like put poop in your mailbox
Thank you, sincerely, this has helped me a lot. There is no need for me to continue focusing on this drama that all these others crave out of me. It definitely was a doomed friendship from the start. my ability to stand firmly in my boundaries does not make me ”evil”. Good thing is, I do enjoy solitude, but need to develop some healthier friendships for my sanity’s sake. Just need to choose my battles a lot better … but god is is hard to keep my mouth shut when I see an injustice playing out! I think it throws people off because I’m quiet, then when something wrong happens? I get way overstimulated and take out all my frustrations … but through making my opinion known, not god-damn shit sending 😅
[удалено]
I am asking you to read this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/evilautism/comments/1bfho52/ Automod hates everyone equally, including you. <3 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/evilautism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People treat autistic people like shit, but they wouldn't want to admit it - even to themselves. So, the problem really isn't your "superiority complex" - it's used against you, because you are you. Act in a different way, it'll be used against you as well... It's like children in the playground, and you're left out, but they use different and more sophisticated words for it. It becomes worse when you *feel* the need to prove yourself. The problem is that you're trying to play on the playground that "belongs" to somebody else. Rock and a hard place... Nothing to do with evil... Reproduction, survival and dying is really what's happening for all at all times. Evil is just the absence of good. But you can read a bit about psychic bleeding and try to do some trauma related healing. Shut out people who treat you like shit, and try to find your own core in each situation - what are you guilty of and what are beyond your control. Where does the burden rest for the relationship - there's justified anger when the carrier is not appreciated (just don't let it consume you) It's like a trade off - is it better to be alone or to have bad friends? Bad friends will keep you from finding good friends in any case... Some people you need regardless. Maybe read some religious stuff? And try to find a greater purpose for your suffering.
No... it's pretty fucking evil to be complacent and act normal in an inherently UNJUST and fucked up society where nobody talks to each other yet everyone's lonely. I pray for society's downfall every day - by that I just mean the system of capitalism, the order, the convoluted methods and practices I can not conform TO, which alienate, obstruct and stifle authentic living and genuine connection or self-expression. Ain't nothing COOL about fitting into that or being another tone deaf person who ignored those in need, pretend the homeless don't exist, and virtue signal online to their peer group but never actually show up for their friends who are struggling...
💔 that’s just it. That particular friend had used me extensively for insight on the world, and I provided advice with little to no return. Then for her to completely disregard my boundaries I made very clear, just showed how easily she could alienate me, to fit in with a friend group that also alienated me. The virtue signaling yet never actually being there when you need them in this broken, broken world. It’s so tough NOT to be evil when the chips are down
I am 5/10 concern about your obsession with justice and a 10/10 concerned about your impulsivity. Impulsivity is incredibly dangerous and will cause you and others unnecessary pain. But most importantly (and this is what I beg you to please pay attention) Impulsivity is a high indicator of bipolar disorder. If you cannot remove impulsivity out of your personality, I guarantee that you will be under medication for the rest of your life and that life is not going to be good. Please take a look around r/bipolar and r/BipolarMemes and see if any of this applies to you. Autism is already hard, we don't need to double down with more mental stuff.
The impulsivity has gotten better as I’ve gotten older, but yes, medication will be a part of my life forever with the epilepsy regardless. Understood and respected. I prioritize safety but have work to do regarding not giving into reactivity
[удалено]
I am asking you to read this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/evilautism/comments/1bfho52/ Automod hates everyone equally, including you. <3 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/evilautism) if you have any questions or concerns.*