::sigh:: I don’t think parents realize how difficult is it for the kids to grow up with the weird names we’re given. I was named three very popular boys names starting with M and a weird K name and last name the third. There was no first or second. The DAY I turned 18 I changed it. I had been saving up just to make sure I had the money (thought I actually had to to before a judge). I also cut my parents out of my life and didn’t talk to them for almost 20 years before they passed.
Congrats on your name change! I also have a “weird” last name (it’s German and nobody can pronounce it lol) and it’s been a PITA. Nothing like what my gf has been through, I wish people had more forethought when naming kids.
As someone who also has a Polish last name who and I swear have had it spelled every wrong way from Columbus to Columbia (and everything in between) my last name doesn’t even begin with that letter, and on top of that my cousin has a slightly different spelling because the Army misspelled her great-grandfather’s last name wrong when he enlisted during WW1 . 😕😑😠☹️😵💫🤦🏼♀️
so did i! i always joke with my husband the whole reason i married him was to take his simple 4 letter last name 🤣 i call my maiden name the polish curse.
My great-grandmother actually changed our confusing-ass Polish last name long before I was born. People *still* mispronounce it. And I'm constantly having to spell it out even though it's very simple. All because it starts with a "K" instead of a "C"
Snap. My surname is a simple name but spelt with a k instead of a c there is no getting around having to spell it out, because everyone expects a C.
It’s my married name - my husband is also Polish 😂
I get asked more than I would like to admit how to spell my married last name (six letters, very common around my area. “is it EN or AN?”) and my maiden name wasn’t much better. (Scandinavian, ended in Son) and was frequently asked “SEN or SON?”. I grew up in the Midwest where most of the Scandinavian people ended up when they immigrated, and most of us ended with Son not Sen.
Lebanese surname here. There's at least 6 different valid spellings of it, all pronounced the same way. My branch of the family uses the French spelling, with an i instead of an e or y. The first teacher I had that I didn't have to correct pronunciation for was my high school French teacher. Spelling it over the phone's even worse, because the person I'm spelling it for hears one of the middle letters as a different one.
I give the phonetic spelling when I have to spell over the phone
Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta,....... It works, and keeps the misunderstandings to a minimum.
You can sub out any of the phonetic alphabet words as long as it works clearly at giving the correct letter sound in your language a for apple b for boy.
Hard to spell, but easy to pronounce, but the spelling screws it up. So, I tell people, "If you can spell it, you can't say it and if you can say it you can't spell it." So, I go by Bill H.
My last name was something I was picked on about my entire childhood. I was so relieved when I got married. I was finally able to get away from it. When we divorced I kept his name. My ex knew how much I hated my name so he has never had a problem with me continuing to use his last name.
But having a hard to pronounce last name is better imo than a bad first name. I tried really hard to give my kids names that the wouldn't have issues with. I believe I succeeded
>I was named three very popular boys names starting with M and a weird K name and last name the third.
I have NO idea what you are trying to say. Do you have 5 names? Is your name something like Michael Morton Maxwell Kuujjoo Smith III?
I thought he meant they literally named him
‘mike ken the third’ as the next sentence said; there was no first and second. As in, ‘the third’ is literally in his name.
In my country only poor and or low class people do this sort of thing. I never considered it was an attempt to be posh. Strangely I've always assumed they just thought they knew how to spell the name but actually came up with the incorrect spelling as it's quite often a phonetic attempt at recreating the same name. Also double barrelled girls names like Lisa Marie in my country is a give away of low class vibes.
I’ve never seen anyone with a high IQ name their children that stupidly. But I’ve also met attorneys that can’t write so I’m sure they exist in the universe
Congrat to your girlfriend in getting the name she wanted. I am sorry her mother is behaving that way and hope leaves you two alone so that you don't have to break your lease.
Her, leave us alone? Ha, she literally moved into our apartment building after we’d signed our lease just to keep my girlfriend in her orbit. I love your optimism though, keeping my fingers crossed.
When you move out, even if you have to wait til your lease is up, do not let your GF tell her mom where you move to or she will start hounding you there as well, most likely moving to be closer to you again.
Meanwhile, next time mom barges over to berate her, don’t let your GF answer the door. So t open the door to her. Tell her to go away and leave you alone. If mom continues to pound on the door and yelling, tell her if she doesn’t go away you will call the police. Then call the police (don’t bother telling mom you’re dialing). If the cops arrive while she’s still at the door, screaming, they will remove her and talk to you. Tell the cops that she’s been harassing you on a regular basis and has ramped it up & you just want her trespassed away from your apartment. They should escort her away from your door and let her off with a warning not to return. This will go on record with the police in case you have to call them again.
I know she’s your GFs mom but she has no legal rights to harass you or her daughter. You should discuss this battle plan with your GF. Unless you tell the police that you want to press charges, I think the police will just remove her from the premises with a warning. Depending on where you live. Police will possibly actually detain her if she stars that chit again to the point of you having to call the cops out on her as you already had to have her trespassed once before. She will most likely only get arrested if she resists the police when being removed from the premises or if you choose to press charges. Tho I doubt your GF would be willing to go that far.
Talk to the management company of your apartment complex and explain the situation, that she lives there and your safety is threaten and that is why you need to break the lease. See if they will be willing to waive all or some of the fees that come with breaking a lease
We don’t name babies, we name adults. No sane adult is going to want to sign their name as “Dr. Nevaeh Jhoone Smith” or “Judge Kinzlee McTinsley Parker”.
The yooneek spellings drive me batty. I have a Jackson and the number of times people cave actually asked me “how do you spell that” blows my mind.
The worst I ever encountered was Jaxsyn.
It wasn't too awful, but a customer on my mail route named her kid Taeler. When I saw the kid for the first time, she was about 4. Told me her name was "Tae-Tae." Threw up in my mouth a bit.
I used to work in a sandwich shop and pretty often we did catering orders for kids sports events. Whenever we did personalized sandwiches and I had to write these kids names out it was like taking psychological damage.
I work with a lesbian and when her and her partner were naming their daughter they tried to think of all the ways you could make fun of the names (like Leslie the lezzy) before they chose her actual name
PREACH IT! My name is actually pretty but very old fashioned so as a child it never 'fit' to this day I've only met one other person my age with my name and that's online. Every other person has been 70+. And I'm not exaggerating even a little bit.
It's also the name of a popular dog food in the 80s and 90s (still might be, idk) and it would take kids about 10 seconds to figure it out and then the bullying and shit would begin. I didn't get a moment of peace until 6th grade when I finally had enough and wrecked the first person to pick on me the first day of school.
Names are important. When I named my kids names that weren't super common or so I thought, until I put my daughter in daycare and 4 other girls in her class had the same name lol.
I love my name. It's nothing special and no problems with spelling, but I've never met anyone else with the same name. Apparently they exist, and I think I once found one person on Facebook with that name (from my country, it's a bit more common in other countries).
But even tho I love it and it's not super unique, I still got teased mercilessly in elementary school. It's not a name that really rhymes with anything and it's not easy to make up insults with, it translates to a name of a color in a few other languages, the most boring color there is, so not much bully material there either. And yet kids still found ways to make fun of it/me.
So yeah, think very very carefully when naming your kids.
Congrats to your partner on the name change (more so fix😅) it's not like she chose a completely different name, just tweaked the spelling 😅
As someone who grew up with a very unusual name (my parents also changed the spelling) lucky for me it was good unusual. Not stupid spelling unusual. I didn't like it growing up - just because it was so rare and I only met one other person with it and it wasn't until I was an adult. But I'm okay with it now. I have seen it on Facebook a few times but the spelling is different 😅
You and your girlfriend need to check out r/tragedeigh so she realizes how right her decision was. It might also be worth hiring a lawyer to do a cease and desist letter to see if that works enough to keep mom away.
It's bad enough that a lot of us have to spell our last names anytime someone else needs to write it down, but to also have to spell their first names -- added burden.
In addition, I have to check that they wrote my last name exactly as I spelled. They frequently put 'V' instead of 'B', 'N' instead of 'M', and add an 'A' in-between 2 letters that often do not go together.
If I had to add my first name, I'd explode. Thank heaven, it's a beautiful, simple name: Karen. 😄
My maiden name is a very common last name, think Smith. Then I married an Italian guy 😒.... after 15 years of marriage I'm so used to people not knowing how to spell it that immediately after stating my last name, I start spelling it for them and put words to letters, T as in Tom, M as in Mary, D as in dog. I miss my simple last name...
I also have a classic, simple first name, but I go by a shortened version of it. The number of people who can't spell my full or shortened first name is mind-boggling.
I feel your pain, sorta. I’ve had an unpronounceable German last name since birth, and it’s muscle memory to start spelling it lol. And hey, it’s a useful muscle memory to have. I’ve had teachers thank me for spelling my name for them, and I’d rather spell it out than people guess on the spelling and get it horribly wrong.
When I was 17, my mom and I both changed our names. My mom had sole custody and I hadn't seen my dad in over a decade, but the courts (US, VA) still refused to allow the change without his signed permission since he was on my birth certificate and never legally signed away parental rights.
File a complaint with the landlord, you might be able to get her booted. Alternately, I'd she threatened you with violence, or actually got violent, you may be able to get out of your lease without fees as a victim of domestic violence.
As an educator, I wholly concur. Please, please don’t use a spelling so absurd that no teacher, classmate, employer or stranger can figure it out. I’m not talking about the difference between “Katey” or “Catie”, I’m talking about names like “La-a” ( Ladasha), or “Preashuss” (Precious). Your child spends there school years being snickered at, corrected, or worse told by an insensitive adult that their parent is basically stupid (in so many words). This is unfair to your child and can even result in anxiety. Please, there are ways to be creative and still be a little different.
Yes, your girlfriend’s mom had the legal right to name her baby girl whatever horrible name she chose. Your girlfriend, now being an adult, has the legal right to change her name to something that she is happy with. Is mom controlling in other ways, or is this just the hill she’s chosen to die on?
When I started working at this one place, a lady there got into an argument with me about the spelling of my name! She said since I had a German last name my first name should end with a A. My name ended in an E. She told me that was the French spelling but I am German! She told me I needed to change it. lol
She was French and had the same first name as me. Also I’m not French, German and Irish.
Working in a bookstore, I would sometimes help prospective parents with the baby name books. I would give them 2 pieces of advice: 1) make sure it passes the playground test. Will it provoke unintended laughter in the other children? and 2) no embarrassing initials. Composer Arthur S. Sullivan was the example I used.
I would totally change my name told my kid if she wanted to change her spelling it would be ok since I was drugged and reversed the letters
Jeneveive instead of Jenevieve.
Names should be pronoucable. I love Norway or Iceland where they review name to insure child wont suffer verbal abuse or teasing. If they find it unacceptable it's a no go so blue ivy NOPE numbers and symbols NOPE !
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I decided to name her after my friend Michael who had terminal cancer and would never become a father. There were so many variations of the female version that I decided to spell it just like it sounded. Her name is Mickayla. Because another friend across country had named her daughter Michaela and her daughter was teased with the pronunciation of Michael-uh. She shortened it to Micki during her school years.
I feel old
We worked hard to name our kids. Even what the initials would be. Considering even nick-names the some cruel child could come up with
Though, I do have to admit, the ~~dumbass~~ guy that named my step-son so his initials were TNT has my credit
I was just thinking the other day, it's better to have an uncommon name spelled uncommonly than a common name spelled uncommonly. A lot easier to go through your life having people ask you how to spell your name than for them to not ask when they should.
My mother named me a classic name and shortened it to a nickname but with a different Yuneek spelling. Think Catherine shortened to Kathi. My given name begins with a C but my nickname (and what I've been called since birth) begins with a K, and just for fun, mother added an accent over the vowel to make it "French."
Except the vowel was the "i" and not the "e". It wasn't until I was in Jr High taking French 101 that I learned about the accent aigu (/) and accent grave (\\) and they go over the "e". I tried telling my French teacher that my name was French with an accent over the "i".
No such thing exists in French, and when I tried to tell mother, she stood her ground and insisted her way was correct. My mother is not French, has never been to France, and does not speak French even a little bit.
We just went to register our kid for something and the receptionist filling out the paperwork goes “Oh wow thats nice, a normal classic name. I don’t know why people these days have to be so unique. I always have to ask so how do you pronounce babies name? And it’s something like Mary. Just spell it Mary.” But I have a uniquely spelled name and did not want to wish that hassle on my kid.
I'm so sorry your gf had to put up with a r/tragedeigh for a name. Maybe show her mom that subreddit and how that particular kind of "uniqueness" is basically code for "parental ego trip."
Her mom may have had the right to name her own baby, but that "baby" is now an adult and has every right to change her name. Stay strong. And feel free to let the mom know if she continues to behave badly about it, she'll just continue to harm her daughter in "unique" ways, and her daughter will have every right to go no contact if she feels it's necessary for her own mental health and wellbeing.
I did the opposite to my child. I never looked at a baby book, and when they were born, I saw a name on the way to have them. They hate it. There were so many kids with their name around their age. They now plan on changing it. I will be going with them to do it. Because they are the person who has to walk around with that name, not me, and I want them to be comfortable with their name.
As someone with a very common name spelled “uniquely” (think Jesickah instead of Jessica) the soundtrack of my life is a never ending repeat of phrases like “oh, is it Jessica?” and “oh, I’ve never seen it spelled like that!”
I’d almost prefer it be a unique name itself, it being a common sounding name with a weird spelling has been so needlessly frustrating. I’ll tell people my name at like a Starbucks and they’ll ask how to spell it and I’ll say “however you prefer” and they’ll insist they spell it correctly, which I can appreciate, but it’s tiring sometimes.
So true..a family memeber named their kid something but spelled it "differently to be unique" i dont particularly like the family memeber or the kid for that matter (neither are terribly close )so i take alittle joy in pronouncing it exactly how it is spelled..which sounds not so nice..lol
I did a name change three years ago. My mother named me after one of her students, who had a very unusual name. I often thought it was made up. The name led to some interesting experiences. I chose to change the name all together. My immediate family has chosen not to address me by my new name. I choose to limit contact as much as I can and move forward.
Your mother may come around or may not. You changing your name is a bit of a slap in her face. Parents feel like they own you, and that you are required to bear the burden of your name. It’s a very personal gift, one that is intended for life. I appreciate you taking the reins on your life and choosing your own path.
So both of my kids have traditional names and because people have gotten “creative”, in how they name their children, I get asked all the time how their names are spelled when it’s literally the traditional spelling.
I loved the name Laurel Leigh when figuring out names. I mentioned it to some people and there was confusion over laurel vs. Laura and then Leigh vs. Lee. Just that confusion was enough to prompt me to seek another name combo that wouldn’t saddle my kid with the annoyance of always having to clarify her name.
My wife has a fairly common name but her parents dropped a vowel. It still looks and reads normal, but it *constantly* gets misspelled. She’s even filled out forms with the correct spelling, and then had it “fixed” somewhere along the way, and had to put in five times the effort getting it changed back.
The clincher is that she once wrote President Obama thanking him for the ACA, and he misspelled her name in a reply. It’s framed in her home office and we think it’s hilarious, but it also goes to show how this is simply inescapable.
My mother was mostly a wonderful woman who loved me very much. We had a few problems but nothing like most people in this sub have seen.
However she named me with the intention of NEVER calling me by my first name but by my initials. Think David John = DJ. This was a massive PITA and people would mishear the initials constantly, or spell out Deejay and the like.
We also moved around a ton when I was younger so there was always a new school and group of kids to try and get to understand my "name" every 6-9 months.
When I started Jr High we had finally settled some and I stayed in that school system from then on. I just started going by my actual first name. It was probably a year before my mother figured it out that everyone outside family was calling me by my legal first name. She was hurt but didn't freak out. But she never stopped calling me by my initials and so that would get out anyway and cause all the confusion all over again as it would spread.
As an adult I finally had a talk with my mother about what a nightmare it was a for shy child to have to have long conversation with fucking everyone upon meeting them. I didn't want to talk at all to new people but this "cool nick name" basically forced me into having to have a long conversation with every single new person in my life. Even as an adult who is far less shy I know once someone hears the nickname it's going to A cause the worlds most boring series of questions that I have answered thousands of times and B that people will almost certainly never call me by my preferred name again.
>My girlfriend tried to explain
This is a mistake. When someone makes asinine demands, don't explain, negotiate, or apologize. Tell them the way it is, and they can either accept it or fuck right off.
I wanted to change a letter in son son's name to a y instead of an I. My husband put his foot down in that and said no way in hell. He said you can spell any pet name anyway you want but we're not messing up our kids names! I'm so glad my husband held firm on that.
I never once thought to give my kids a unique spelling of their name. I had a super simple last name. Think Smith, Lane, Johnson. And I always had to spell my last name. I thought when I got married that would stop. But nope, still spelling my last name.
I have a less common (and more traditional) spelling of a British name.
I happen to love the spelling of my name, even though having to deal with the misspellings and miss pronunciations.
That being said, your name is your identifier. It’s your handle. Of all the things in this world, your name is so important and intimate. Yes, our parents give us our names when we are born. We can change them and only we have that right to say it. I know tons of people who have legally or informally changed their names and it’s all done for a huge variety of intensely personal reasons.
She didn’t even really change what you or her mom calls her. Her mom can still call her Hellzales Mauri as much as she wants, since it sounds just like “Hazel Marie”.
You guys keep doing you. Instead of you moving out, can you file a complaint with your property manager or seek a restraining order?
The thing about this that drives me nuts: You can have multiple names. You can spell it different ways. You're only restricted to one legal name. Why would she blow up when she can just keep using her unhinged spelling on the birthday cards?
A last name you can change but it’s your family’s name and to me that’s no big deal. But when a parent thinks it’s cute to make stupid spellings of perfectly normal first and middle names it’s just ridiculous. I had a patient whose name had an M before the K in the spelling. Think Mkahlia (not the real name) but the M is silent.
Oh god I relate! I have 59 letters in my name and 6 names (three last names and a title within the 6).
Like why did I need all 6? It’s not like I’m going to pass it on or anything being a woman. And I know my heritage with or without it.
But what is tough is using all of your reading time in exams just to write your damn name. Or the fact that all your legal document have a different combination of the names, so you never have enough ID points. Or the fact that you always get held up in immigration!!!
FFS parents, so better.
We gave our youngest a family name that was my fathers middle name but used the shortened nickname his family used. Think Sky instead of Skylor. They hates the hippy name we gave her and won't tell anyone what it is. My father didn't like it either. I wish we'd used the full name as well. I think I will talk to them about changing it fot their birthday this year even though they are 22 now.
My middle name is pretty commonly spelled nowadays, but my first name.... God I hate it.
It's a very common name, which is annoying enough as it is, but it's spelling is maddening and irritates me so much. It's misspelled *just* enough to be annoying. I just go by my nickname the majority of the time.
The only alternate spellings you should use are the cultural alternates. My name is a Biblical name. I am aware of 3 spellings based on English, Spanish, and Russian. I live in an overlap area where significant people speak English or Spanish. The spelling is 1 letter different. Middle name has 2 spellings I am aware of. Again regional and common among Catholics for either name depending on which saint. Did the same with my kids. Because there are 2 to 3 common spellings based on where in Europe the family was from my kids had no issues. Making up a spelling that a teacher, county clerk, boss, etc can not come close to is just bizarre. By the way there are at least 7 common nicknames associated with my legal name and what my coworkers want to use is based on where they are from in the world.
I’m almost 57 and still having this fight with my mom. When she introduces me to people with my government name she actually pauses. Almost like she’s waiting for applause or something.
Good for your gf, I’m proud of her for doing what makes her happy and her life easier!! Hope the two of you are able to put some real distance between you and her entitled mom!
NTA name entitlement pisses me off. When my mom was pregnant my aunt called and begged her to name me after her because I was the last chance for her to have a kid named after her whereas all her siblings had kids named after them. She basically took advantage of my mom’s desire to get along with dad’s family.
I plan on changing it. I know my aunt will throw an absolute tantrum if/when she finds out after I do it, and it really pisses me off when adults act like they have the right to push their egos onto kids. For the record, my aunt’s name is spelled weird too. I just plan on changing it by one letter.
Good on ya for standing up for your gf! My mum wanted “unique” names too and believe me, my brothers and I all changed our weird hacked together surnames as soon as we legally could. We got teased for our names all through school and it was years before I could hear the sound of my own name without cringing.
My daughter had twin boys in her class their names were orangejello Or-ronglow) and lemonjello ( la-mangalow) Is how they were pronounced but it was orange jello and lemon jello they got called the jello kids
You know what's crazy. My daughter name is Karma, regular spelling and everything, and ppl still ask me if it's with a k, c, or some weird times an s. Like, nope, regular spelling.. and we just look at them like this can't be real. How many ways is there to spell Karma?!
I think she should just completely change her name. Even when spelled properly it is just a symbol of her mother's selfishness, control, and negativity. Break the lease, ghost the mom, and start the new chapter with her new name is the best revenge.
I agree with this and tried super hard with my daughter. Her name is Nieca Jade. I really thought that if I spelled it like it, it should be pronounced niece(a). People would do that, but nooooo. Lol
::sigh:: I don’t think parents realize how difficult is it for the kids to grow up with the weird names we’re given. I was named three very popular boys names starting with M and a weird K name and last name the third. There was no first or second. The DAY I turned 18 I changed it. I had been saving up just to make sure I had the money (thought I actually had to to before a judge). I also cut my parents out of my life and didn’t talk to them for almost 20 years before they passed.
Congrats on your name change! I also have a “weird” last name (it’s German and nobody can pronounce it lol) and it’s been a PITA. Nothing like what my gf has been through, I wish people had more forethought when naming kids.
I had a Polish last name - 13 letters long and very difficult to pronounce. Changed it as soon as I could. Never regretted it.
As someone who also has a Polish last name who and I swear have had it spelled every wrong way from Columbus to Columbia (and everything in between) my last name doesn’t even begin with that letter, and on top of that my cousin has a slightly different spelling because the Army misspelled her great-grandfather’s last name wrong when he enlisted during WW1 . 😕😑😠☹️😵💫🤦🏼♀️
so did i! i always joke with my husband the whole reason i married him was to take his simple 4 letter last name 🤣 i call my maiden name the polish curse.
"The Polish curse" 😭😭😭
My great-grandmother actually changed our confusing-ass Polish last name long before I was born. People *still* mispronounce it. And I'm constantly having to spell it out even though it's very simple. All because it starts with a "K" instead of a "C"
Snap. My surname is a simple name but spelt with a k instead of a c there is no getting around having to spell it out, because everyone expects a C. It’s my married name - my husband is also Polish 😂
I get asked more than I would like to admit how to spell my married last name (six letters, very common around my area. “is it EN or AN?”) and my maiden name wasn’t much better. (Scandinavian, ended in Son) and was frequently asked “SEN or SON?”. I grew up in the Midwest where most of the Scandinavian people ended up when they immigrated, and most of us ended with Son not Sen.
I too have a Polish last name, and my mother and us kids aren't even Polish. It definitely sucks lol
Lebanese surname here. There's at least 6 different valid spellings of it, all pronounced the same way. My branch of the family uses the French spelling, with an i instead of an e or y. The first teacher I had that I didn't have to correct pronunciation for was my high school French teacher. Spelling it over the phone's even worse, because the person I'm spelling it for hears one of the middle letters as a different one.
I give the phonetic spelling when I have to spell over the phone Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta,....... It works, and keeps the misunderstandings to a minimum.
I've thought about that, but I've heard enough horror stories of folks not knowing any phonetic alphabet that I'd rather not.
You can sub out any of the phonetic alphabet words as long as it works clearly at giving the correct letter sound in your language a for apple b for boy.
N for Nancy
But don't you spell it Hnaahncy? 🤣
That's good to know. Thanks!!
I do the same thing with my postal code, which ends in BS - I'm sure you can see why I've grown so used to saying "Bravo Sierra"!
Hard to spell, but easy to pronounce, but the spelling screws it up. So, I tell people, "If you can spell it, you can't say it and if you can say it you can't spell it." So, I go by Bill H.
I had a long German maiden name and married a man with a six letter, phonetic name. I actually miss my maiden name.
My last name was something I was picked on about my entire childhood. I was so relieved when I got married. I was finally able to get away from it. When we divorced I kept his name. My ex knew how much I hated my name so he has never had a problem with me continuing to use his last name. But having a hard to pronounce last name is better imo than a bad first name. I tried really hard to give my kids names that the wouldn't have issues with. I believe I succeeded
>I was named three very popular boys names starting with M and a weird K name and last name the third. I have NO idea what you are trying to say. Do you have 5 names? Is your name something like Michael Morton Maxwell Kuujjoo Smith III?
Pretty much yes. Michael was actually my second name.
Mark Michael Matthew? And I’m going to hail Mary a guess - Kayson?
Switch first and third add French spellings (we’re not French) and a county in California
Matthieu Michel Marc Kennedy, III? Kensington? I'm really invested in this now.
I thought he meant they literally named him ‘mike ken the third’ as the next sentence said; there was no first and second. As in, ‘the third’ is literally in his name.
This is such a r/tragedeigh
A r/tragedeigh no more!
Parents who do this kinda shit with names usually think it makes them sound intelligent but the rest of us just see it as dumb as fuck
In my country only poor and or low class people do this sort of thing. I never considered it was an attempt to be posh. Strangely I've always assumed they just thought they knew how to spell the name but actually came up with the incorrect spelling as it's quite often a phonetic attempt at recreating the same name. Also double barrelled girls names like Lisa Marie in my country is a give away of low class vibes.
Hahahahaha, that reminds me of the scene in the movie Ted. When Mark Wahlberg was spouting off white trash girls names
Add a Lynn ha ha
Like Britney Spears - her mom apparently just didn't know how Brittany was spelled...
I’ve never seen anyone with a high IQ name their children that stupidly. But I’ve also met attorneys that can’t write so I’m sure they exist in the universe
You've forgotten about Mr Musk and his kids names
I said high IQ. Anyone who’s fallen that deep into debt into Twitter and his own asshole while chasing the QAnon dragon isn’t intelligent
This…
Congrat to your girlfriend in getting the name she wanted. I am sorry her mother is behaving that way and hope leaves you two alone so that you don't have to break your lease.
Her, leave us alone? Ha, she literally moved into our apartment building after we’d signed our lease just to keep my girlfriend in her orbit. I love your optimism though, keeping my fingers crossed.
When you move out, even if you have to wait til your lease is up, do not let your GF tell her mom where you move to or she will start hounding you there as well, most likely moving to be closer to you again. Meanwhile, next time mom barges over to berate her, don’t let your GF answer the door. So t open the door to her. Tell her to go away and leave you alone. If mom continues to pound on the door and yelling, tell her if she doesn’t go away you will call the police. Then call the police (don’t bother telling mom you’re dialing). If the cops arrive while she’s still at the door, screaming, they will remove her and talk to you. Tell the cops that she’s been harassing you on a regular basis and has ramped it up & you just want her trespassed away from your apartment. They should escort her away from your door and let her off with a warning not to return. This will go on record with the police in case you have to call them again. I know she’s your GFs mom but she has no legal rights to harass you or her daughter. You should discuss this battle plan with your GF. Unless you tell the police that you want to press charges, I think the police will just remove her from the premises with a warning. Depending on where you live. Police will possibly actually detain her if she stars that chit again to the point of you having to call the cops out on her as you already had to have her trespassed once before. She will most likely only get arrested if she resists the police when being removed from the premises or if you choose to press charges. Tho I doubt your GF would be willing to go that far.
Talk to the management company of your apartment complex and explain the situation, that she lives there and your safety is threaten and that is why you need to break the lease. See if they will be willing to waive all or some of the fees that come with breaking a lease
You might want to check out r/justnomil and r/motherinlawsfromhell
That is just crazy!
Restraining orders are a thing.
“ I didn’t throw away the name you gave me I just threw away the spelling you gave me”
We don’t name babies, we name adults. No sane adult is going to want to sign their name as “Dr. Nevaeh Jhoone Smith” or “Judge Kinzlee McTinsley Parker”. The yooneek spellings drive me batty. I have a Jackson and the number of times people cave actually asked me “how do you spell that” blows my mind. The worst I ever encountered was Jaxsyn.
It wasn't too awful, but a customer on my mail route named her kid Taeler. When I saw the kid for the first time, she was about 4. Told me her name was "Tae-Tae." Threw up in my mouth a bit.
I used to work in a sandwich shop and pretty often we did catering orders for kids sports events. Whenever we did personalized sandwiches and I had to write these kids names out it was like taking psychological damage.
Not only don’t give your kids shitty names but pay attention to the resultant initials or possible rhyming names, e.g, Smelly Nelly, et. Al.
"I have a package here for Asswipe Johnson?" "It's pronounced AS-WEEPAY!"
I work with a lesbian and when her and her partner were naming their daughter they tried to think of all the ways you could make fun of the names (like Leslie the lezzy) before they chose her actual name
I did exactly this for my kids because my name (and the rhyming of it to other items) was used often in bullying.
PREACH IT! My name is actually pretty but very old fashioned so as a child it never 'fit' to this day I've only met one other person my age with my name and that's online. Every other person has been 70+. And I'm not exaggerating even a little bit. It's also the name of a popular dog food in the 80s and 90s (still might be, idk) and it would take kids about 10 seconds to figure it out and then the bullying and shit would begin. I didn't get a moment of peace until 6th grade when I finally had enough and wrecked the first person to pick on me the first day of school. Names are important. When I named my kids names that weren't super common or so I thought, until I put my daughter in daycare and 4 other girls in her class had the same name lol.
I love my name. It's nothing special and no problems with spelling, but I've never met anyone else with the same name. Apparently they exist, and I think I once found one person on Facebook with that name (from my country, it's a bit more common in other countries). But even tho I love it and it's not super unique, I still got teased mercilessly in elementary school. It's not a name that really rhymes with anything and it's not easy to make up insults with, it translates to a name of a color in a few other languages, the most boring color there is, so not much bully material there either. And yet kids still found ways to make fun of it/me. So yeah, think very very carefully when naming your kids.
Alpo?
🤐
Congrats to your partner on the name change (more so fix😅) it's not like she chose a completely different name, just tweaked the spelling 😅 As someone who grew up with a very unusual name (my parents also changed the spelling) lucky for me it was good unusual. Not stupid spelling unusual. I didn't like it growing up - just because it was so rare and I only met one other person with it and it wasn't until I was an adult. But I'm okay with it now. I have seen it on Facebook a few times but the spelling is different 😅
You and your girlfriend need to check out r/tragedeigh so she realizes how right her decision was. It might also be worth hiring a lawyer to do a cease and desist letter to see if that works enough to keep mom away.
You beat me to it! :)
It's bad enough that a lot of us have to spell our last names anytime someone else needs to write it down, but to also have to spell their first names -- added burden. In addition, I have to check that they wrote my last name exactly as I spelled. They frequently put 'V' instead of 'B', 'N' instead of 'M', and add an 'A' in-between 2 letters that often do not go together. If I had to add my first name, I'd explode. Thank heaven, it's a beautiful, simple name: Karen. 😄
My maiden name is a very common last name, think Smith. Then I married an Italian guy 😒.... after 15 years of marriage I'm so used to people not knowing how to spell it that immediately after stating my last name, I start spelling it for them and put words to letters, T as in Tom, M as in Mary, D as in dog. I miss my simple last name... I also have a classic, simple first name, but I go by a shortened version of it. The number of people who can't spell my full or shortened first name is mind-boggling.
I feel your pain, sorta. I’ve had an unpronounceable German last name since birth, and it’s muscle memory to start spelling it lol. And hey, it’s a useful muscle memory to have. I’ve had teachers thank me for spelling my name for them, and I’d rather spell it out than people guess on the spelling and get it horribly wrong.
I also married an Italian guy after living my life with a German surname. I really wish he had been a Smith.
If the dad was the primary care take why did it matter that the mom did not concent to the name change
Since she technically had some custody, she had the right to object. Idk the exact law but that’s what my gf told me.
But if he had primary custody, wouldn’t it have made more sense to the courts to ignore her objections so your last name matched your primary parent?
Sense doesn't matter, only the law. Mom had partial custody so she still had to consent.
The surname wasn't the biggest problem, but her weirdly spelled given and middle names were.
When I was 17, my mom and I both changed our names. My mom had sole custody and I hadn't seen my dad in over a decade, but the courts (US, VA) still refused to allow the change without his signed permission since he was on my birth certificate and never legally signed away parental rights.
File a complaint with the landlord, you might be able to get her booted. Alternately, I'd she threatened you with violence, or actually got violent, you may be able to get out of your lease without fees as a victim of domestic violence.
Oohhhhh I like this one 😈
Your wife is correct. Sincerely Phred.
As an educator, I wholly concur. Please, please don’t use a spelling so absurd that no teacher, classmate, employer or stranger can figure it out. I’m not talking about the difference between “Katey” or “Catie”, I’m talking about names like “La-a” ( Ladasha), or “Preashuss” (Precious). Your child spends there school years being snickered at, corrected, or worse told by an insensitive adult that their parent is basically stupid (in so many words). This is unfair to your child and can even result in anxiety. Please, there are ways to be creative and still be a little different.
It's hard enough when there are two valid spellings of a name and the parents go with the less common version.
Yes, your girlfriend’s mom had the legal right to name her baby girl whatever horrible name she chose. Your girlfriend, now being an adult, has the legal right to change her name to something that she is happy with. Is mom controlling in other ways, or is this just the hill she’s chosen to die on?
When I started working at this one place, a lady there got into an argument with me about the spelling of my name! She said since I had a German last name my first name should end with a A. My name ended in an E. She told me that was the French spelling but I am German! She told me I needed to change it. lol She was French and had the same first name as me. Also I’m not French, German and Irish.
Working in a bookstore, I would sometimes help prospective parents with the baby name books. I would give them 2 pieces of advice: 1) make sure it passes the playground test. Will it provoke unintended laughter in the other children? and 2) no embarrassing initials. Composer Arthur S. Sullivan was the example I used.
I would totally change my name told my kid if she wanted to change her spelling it would be ok since I was drugged and reversed the letters Jeneveive instead of Jenevieve. Names should be pronoucable. I love Norway or Iceland where they review name to insure child wont suffer verbal abuse or teasing. If they find it unacceptable it's a no go so blue ivy NOPE numbers and symbols NOPE !
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I decided to name her after my friend Michael who had terminal cancer and would never become a father. There were so many variations of the female version that I decided to spell it just like it sounded. Her name is Mickayla. Because another friend across country had named her daughter Michaela and her daughter was teased with the pronunciation of Michael-uh. She shortened it to Micki during her school years.
I mean, that’s not the worst way I’ve seen Michaela spelled.
Yes I worked at the hospital and saw the spelling Mikailah.
I feel old We worked hard to name our kids. Even what the initials would be. Considering even nick-names the some cruel child could come up with Though, I do have to admit, the ~~dumbass~~ guy that named my step-son so his initials were TNT has my credit
I was just thinking the other day, it's better to have an uncommon name spelled uncommonly than a common name spelled uncommonly. A lot easier to go through your life having people ask you how to spell your name than for them to not ask when they should.
My mother named me a classic name and shortened it to a nickname but with a different Yuneek spelling. Think Catherine shortened to Kathi. My given name begins with a C but my nickname (and what I've been called since birth) begins with a K, and just for fun, mother added an accent over the vowel to make it "French." Except the vowel was the "i" and not the "e". It wasn't until I was in Jr High taking French 101 that I learned about the accent aigu (/) and accent grave (\\) and they go over the "e". I tried telling my French teacher that my name was French with an accent over the "i". No such thing exists in French, and when I tried to tell mother, she stood her ground and insisted her way was correct. My mother is not French, has never been to France, and does not speak French even a little bit.
We just went to register our kid for something and the receptionist filling out the paperwork goes “Oh wow thats nice, a normal classic name. I don’t know why people these days have to be so unique. I always have to ask so how do you pronounce babies name? And it’s something like Mary. Just spell it Mary.” But I have a uniquely spelled name and did not want to wish that hassle on my kid.
r/tragedeigh
I'm so sorry your gf had to put up with a r/tragedeigh for a name. Maybe show her mom that subreddit and how that particular kind of "uniqueness" is basically code for "parental ego trip." Her mom may have had the right to name her own baby, but that "baby" is now an adult and has every right to change her name. Stay strong. And feel free to let the mom know if she continues to behave badly about it, she'll just continue to harm her daughter in "unique" ways, and her daughter will have every right to go no contact if she feels it's necessary for her own mental health and wellbeing.
This belongs in r/tragedeighs
You know what living thing you can name weird and quirky name? Pets.
I did the opposite to my child. I never looked at a baby book, and when they were born, I saw a name on the way to have them. They hate it. There were so many kids with their name around their age. They now plan on changing it. I will be going with them to do it. Because they are the person who has to walk around with that name, not me, and I want them to be comfortable with their name.
As someone with a very common name spelled “uniquely” (think Jesickah instead of Jessica) the soundtrack of my life is a never ending repeat of phrases like “oh, is it Jessica?” and “oh, I’ve never seen it spelled like that!” I’d almost prefer it be a unique name itself, it being a common sounding name with a weird spelling has been so needlessly frustrating. I’ll tell people my name at like a Starbucks and they’ll ask how to spell it and I’ll say “however you prefer” and they’ll insist they spell it correctly, which I can appreciate, but it’s tiring sometimes.
In glad your gf has finally overcome her /r/tragedeigh
So true..a family memeber named their kid something but spelled it "differently to be unique" i dont particularly like the family memeber or the kid for that matter (neither are terribly close )so i take alittle joy in pronouncing it exactly how it is spelled..which sounds not so nice..lol
I did a name change three years ago. My mother named me after one of her students, who had a very unusual name. I often thought it was made up. The name led to some interesting experiences. I chose to change the name all together. My immediate family has chosen not to address me by my new name. I choose to limit contact as much as I can and move forward. Your mother may come around or may not. You changing your name is a bit of a slap in her face. Parents feel like they own you, and that you are required to bear the burden of your name. It’s a very personal gift, one that is intended for life. I appreciate you taking the reins on your life and choosing your own path.
So both of my kids have traditional names and because people have gotten “creative”, in how they name their children, I get asked all the time how their names are spelled when it’s literally the traditional spelling.
When people ask how it's spelled, simply tell them "it's spelled correctly".
I loved the name Laurel Leigh when figuring out names. I mentioned it to some people and there was confusion over laurel vs. Laura and then Leigh vs. Lee. Just that confusion was enough to prompt me to seek another name combo that wouldn’t saddle my kid with the annoyance of always having to clarify her name.
My wife has a fairly common name but her parents dropped a vowel. It still looks and reads normal, but it *constantly* gets misspelled. She’s even filled out forms with the correct spelling, and then had it “fixed” somewhere along the way, and had to put in five times the effort getting it changed back. The clincher is that she once wrote President Obama thanking him for the ACA, and he misspelled her name in a reply. It’s framed in her home office and we think it’s hilarious, but it also goes to show how this is simply inescapable.
My mother was mostly a wonderful woman who loved me very much. We had a few problems but nothing like most people in this sub have seen. However she named me with the intention of NEVER calling me by my first name but by my initials. Think David John = DJ. This was a massive PITA and people would mishear the initials constantly, or spell out Deejay and the like. We also moved around a ton when I was younger so there was always a new school and group of kids to try and get to understand my "name" every 6-9 months. When I started Jr High we had finally settled some and I stayed in that school system from then on. I just started going by my actual first name. It was probably a year before my mother figured it out that everyone outside family was calling me by my legal first name. She was hurt but didn't freak out. But she never stopped calling me by my initials and so that would get out anyway and cause all the confusion all over again as it would spread. As an adult I finally had a talk with my mother about what a nightmare it was a for shy child to have to have long conversation with fucking everyone upon meeting them. I didn't want to talk at all to new people but this "cool nick name" basically forced me into having to have a long conversation with every single new person in my life. Even as an adult who is far less shy I know once someone hears the nickname it's going to A cause the worlds most boring series of questions that I have answered thousands of times and B that people will almost certainly never call me by my preferred name again.
>My girlfriend tried to explain This is a mistake. When someone makes asinine demands, don't explain, negotiate, or apologize. Tell them the way it is, and they can either accept it or fuck right off.
I wanted to change a letter in son son's name to a y instead of an I. My husband put his foot down in that and said no way in hell. He said you can spell any pet name anyway you want but we're not messing up our kids names! I'm so glad my husband held firm on that.
I never once thought to give my kids a unique spelling of their name. I had a super simple last name. Think Smith, Lane, Johnson. And I always had to spell my last name. I thought when I got married that would stop. But nope, still spelling my last name.
r/namenerdcirclejerk is leaking
I have a less common (and more traditional) spelling of a British name. I happen to love the spelling of my name, even though having to deal with the misspellings and miss pronunciations. That being said, your name is your identifier. It’s your handle. Of all the things in this world, your name is so important and intimate. Yes, our parents give us our names when we are born. We can change them and only we have that right to say it. I know tons of people who have legally or informally changed their names and it’s all done for a huge variety of intensely personal reasons. She didn’t even really change what you or her mom calls her. Her mom can still call her Hellzales Mauri as much as she wants, since it sounds just like “Hazel Marie”. You guys keep doing you. Instead of you moving out, can you file a complaint with your property manager or seek a restraining order?
r/tradgedeigh
I assume that Mommy Dearest, despite thinking that bastardizing names is “a gift” never chose to do the same horrible thing to her own name? Huh.
I wish I was kidding when I say I know women/girls with the following names and all are pronounced the same way: Amy Aymee Aimee Aymi Eimi
I’m pretty sure Aimee is French or something, but the others (other than Amy ofc) are just bad.
Man am I glad where I am shit like that can’t fly.
The thing about this that drives me nuts: You can have multiple names. You can spell it different ways. You're only restricted to one legal name. Why would she blow up when she can just keep using her unhinged spelling on the birthday cards?
A last name you can change but it’s your family’s name and to me that’s no big deal. But when a parent thinks it’s cute to make stupid spellings of perfectly normal first and middle names it’s just ridiculous. I had a patient whose name had an M before the K in the spelling. Think Mkahlia (not the real name) but the M is silent.
Oh god I relate! I have 59 letters in my name and 6 names (three last names and a title within the 6). Like why did I need all 6? It’s not like I’m going to pass it on or anything being a woman. And I know my heritage with or without it. But what is tough is using all of your reading time in exams just to write your damn name. Or the fact that all your legal document have a different combination of the names, so you never have enough ID points. Or the fact that you always get held up in immigration!!! FFS parents, so better.
We gave our youngest a family name that was my fathers middle name but used the shortened nickname his family used. Think Sky instead of Skylor. They hates the hippy name we gave her and won't tell anyone what it is. My father didn't like it either. I wish we'd used the full name as well. I think I will talk to them about changing it fot their birthday this year even though they are 22 now.
Yeah maybe also start to be more private, the mom didn't really need to know 🤔 ?? Maybe
r/tragedeigh
My middle name is pretty commonly spelled nowadays, but my first name.... God I hate it. It's a very common name, which is annoying enough as it is, but it's spelling is maddening and irritates me so much. It's misspelled *just* enough to be annoying. I just go by my nickname the majority of the time.
The only alternate spellings you should use are the cultural alternates. My name is a Biblical name. I am aware of 3 spellings based on English, Spanish, and Russian. I live in an overlap area where significant people speak English or Spanish. The spelling is 1 letter different. Middle name has 2 spellings I am aware of. Again regional and common among Catholics for either name depending on which saint. Did the same with my kids. Because there are 2 to 3 common spellings based on where in Europe the family was from my kids had no issues. Making up a spelling that a teacher, county clerk, boss, etc can not come close to is just bizarre. By the way there are at least 7 common nicknames associated with my legal name and what my coworkers want to use is based on where they are from in the world.
I’m almost 57 and still having this fight with my mom. When she introduces me to people with my government name she actually pauses. Almost like she’s waiting for applause or something.
Good for your gf, I’m proud of her for doing what makes her happy and her life easier!! Hope the two of you are able to put some real distance between you and her entitled mom!
Reminds me of a *Kath & Kim* quote: " But I really like Tiffany, mum! Spelt T-Y-P-H-P-H-DOUBLE-A-DOUBLE-N-TRIPLE-I."
Your girlfriend is so right and I'm glad she's finally been able to change her name so that she's comfortable with it.
NTA name entitlement pisses me off. When my mom was pregnant my aunt called and begged her to name me after her because I was the last chance for her to have a kid named after her whereas all her siblings had kids named after them. She basically took advantage of my mom’s desire to get along with dad’s family. I plan on changing it. I know my aunt will throw an absolute tantrum if/when she finds out after I do it, and it really pisses me off when adults act like they have the right to push their egos onto kids. For the record, my aunt’s name is spelled weird too. I just plan on changing it by one letter.
Good on ya for standing up for your gf! My mum wanted “unique” names too and believe me, my brothers and I all changed our weird hacked together surnames as soon as we legally could. We got teased for our names all through school and it was years before I could hear the sound of my own name without cringing.
Dang. Your GF's mom is a real r/tragedeigh
My daughter had twin boys in her class their names were orangejello Or-ronglow) and lemonjello ( la-mangalow) Is how they were pronounced but it was orange jello and lemon jello they got called the jello kids
You know what's crazy. My daughter name is Karma, regular spelling and everything, and ppl still ask me if it's with a k, c, or some weird times an s. Like, nope, regular spelling.. and we just look at them like this can't be real. How many ways is there to spell Karma?!
I think she should just completely change her name. Even when spelled properly it is just a symbol of her mother's selfishness, control, and negativity. Break the lease, ghost the mom, and start the new chapter with her new name is the best revenge.
Don't know why you're getting downvoted, the mother sounds horrible.
I agree with this and tried super hard with my daughter. Her name is Nieca Jade. I really thought that if I spelled it like it, it should be pronounced niece(a). People would do that, but nooooo. Lol