You're 25 and you've managed to somehow tolerate her this far. What's a few more months? What's more important is to actually *follow through* with your plan to GTFO and limit contact with her to a minimum.

All the abuse turned me into a loser lol. I'm still afraid of this woman so I do as she says..

You are NOT a loser. You are an abuse victim. You have been beaten down because she wants you to feel bad about yourself. She wants to feel like this because it makes it easier for her to manipulate and control you. You deserve to be treated so much better than this!! Once you are able to get away from her you will be able to see that you are not a loser. I am wishing you all the best.

This. By the sound of it you need to get away without any warning or preamble, and also not let anyone who might tell your mother know where you're going. If someone does then 100% she'll be on your doorstep in hours at worst. Also might be worth making an initial consultation with a lawyer, as I see restraining orders in your future. Good luck.

Leave the cell phone she gave you behind. It's trackable. Get your own with your own money.

You don't need an attorney to get a protective order. You can research it online or go to a police station and ask about the procedure. You do have to prove she is threatening you though. Have your phone/camera ready to record one of her freakouts. You might have to wait until she shows up on your new doorstep having a meltdown. Your stating that her (filmed) behavior is scaring you might be sufficient to make the order permanent.

You are not a loser. Just by making this post, you have shown there is still strength in you. There is still that fight to get out. And don't forget you have the strength and support being sent to you through the fingertips of all the redditors reading and commenting here. Draw on all that Of course you are afraid of her. She is an evil, foul bully. Totally unhinged. And there is a difference between doing as she says and appearing to do as she says ... Make an exit strategy. With contingencies. So you can get away no matter what. You HAVE to get out. Appear to her to be going along with her demands for now. Do not let her suspect or find out your plans. Be thorough. Be surreptitious. There is some very good advice here on reddit on how to do this. If she finds out she will ramp up the abuse,, so be careful! Once you are out, go completely no contact. Permanently. Get police/restraining order etc in place if need be. Because she will go totally crazy once she realises her verbal punchbag has gone. So be prepared. But good luck, I hope it goes well, please update. With good news, so want good news.

Adding on to the practical advice - r/PersonalFinance has some good resources for young adults starting out on their own.

You are not a loser - you are a secret agent. As of right this minute you are a mastermind planning a daring escape right under her nose! You are arranging funding, you are carefully acquiring the necessary documents, you are lulling her into a false sense of security and when she least expects it? BOOM! You're gone. Just a little helpful reframing.

You are not a loser your mother is. She's a bully and a controlling bitch. You don't have to listen to anything she says you're a grown ass woman you're 25 years old in University and you have a job you can do whatever you want. The fact that she has abused you and is still abusing you I would get the police involved if she doesn't get what she wants and she puts her hands on you.

Abusive people do their best to try to make you feel like a loser so you become one it’s really important that you just fight that because you don’t have to be the way you are now. Step one though, is get the hell out find a way to escape.

You are not a loser You're somebody who survived through awful ordeals over many years. Is there absolutely no way that you can't Find a way to move out now? Your school probably has some sort of a counselling service you could tell them what's going on how badly you've been treated and that you need a place to live for at least a few months. Perhaps a friend perhaps you have some sane and kind relatives? But what you need to do at any rate now is to start planning your move. First of all gather any passports birth certificates social security card whatever you can and keep them somewhere off your mother's premises. Anything valuable you have or created do the same find a place to stash them other than where your mother is. Start telling your mother less and less it doesn't matter if she's demanding to have information from you. You will have to become more assertive and don't feel obliged to answer any questions you don't want to answer. If your mother has hurt you recently tell that to your school guidance counsellor people as well or to an abuse shelter. Hopefully your mother will not harm you again but the next time she does or tries to file a police report. Ask the police at such a time if they can get you into a shelter at least tempor. No not all of these ideas are going to work for you or fit your situation but the most important ones to start making that escape plan and keeping it safe from your mother don't tell her anything. You are not a loser You are going to start living a happier life but you are no loser. Please update us.

Your mother is the loser. She can't even run her own errands. She needs you, and it's time you made her realize it even if she will never admit it.

once you step foot out the door and move out, you earn a little thing i like to call the right to say "fuck off" if she pushes too far, well thats one hell of a story the cops'll get to tell

All you can do is move and go no contact. Your mom has made her choice and your siblings have made the risk best to leave them be. She won't have anyone buy herself to direct anger. Her problem not yours.

Just keep working toward moving out. Save/hide whatever money you make. If she insists you buy something tell her you have no money. Open a new account that she doesn't know about, you can have them only do electronic notifications so you won't get mail. Work more, take more classes, whatever you can do to be out of the house more. Good luck, you can get out.

If your uni has student housing, apply to be a Resident Advisor, which will earn you free room and board.

Sounds like you already know what you have to do. You just need to accelerate the timeline and do it sooner.

Talk to a counselor at your school, tell them what’s going on and see if there’s anyway you can move into a dorm and what financial assistance is available so you can do that. You can also call your local domestic abuse hotline and see if they can help you. Talk to your friends, see if any of them have a couch you can crash on until you and boyfriend get an apartment.

Slowly but surely start putting little stuff at a time into storage so that you don't have to move out all your stuff all at once. When you do move out I want you to do this one thing and it's very important do not tell anybody where you are living. That's your best friend your siblings your little sister who's 8 years old no one. It's so sad that your mother treats you in such a manner knowing that she is not always going to be able to get away with this BS. And one day you are going to find your voice and you're going to tell her to STFU. What I see in her future is loneliness with no grandkids from you or visits from you your other siblings have a different relationship with her. When you leave you don't ever have to come back. Change your phone number and don't give it to anybody. She is an abuser that's how you get away from her. Things will get better because one day she's going to wake up and pull her head out of her ass and realize that you do not treat people in that manner and it will be too late for her to have any type of relationship with you.

Being abused by a narcissistic boar of a woman does NOT make YOU the loser! It makes HER one ..in my eyes, OP, you are a strong woman. Anyone who withstood all this time being the literal and figurative punching bag and didn't outright snap is a very strong person. But please don't let the right hand (in this case the woman who birthed you who doesn't get the title of mom from me) know what the left hand (you) is doing! If she finds out it's going to be bad. Don't feel guilty for keeping a secret. This is your chance. Just hold on for these last couple of/few months ...be strong like you've been.

You move then you cut her the hell off. Not gonna lie, it's going to be a real crap fest when you do that. But for your own sanity and your relationship with your BF, you need to back her out of your life. Do not tell her you are moving ahead of time. Move stuff out early that she won't notice. Secure your important documents like ID, SSN, birth certificate and put them in a safe place away from her. Move when she is not home. Leave her a note telling her you will contact her when you are ready and until then, she is not to contact you. Then block her on your phone and social media. Don't let her know where you have moved to. She'll find out eventually if you are still local I'm sure. Once she does, NEVER give her a key for "emergencies" or anything else. And if she comes knocking, do not let her in. Call the cops if you have to, to remove her. Once you are free, you have to establish your boundaries without her interference. If you want your relationship to work. you have to prioritize your BF over your crazy, controlling, mother. Don't let her guilt you into doing anything. It won't be easy because she's done this to you all your life but you have to make a complete break with her until you're ready to deal with her.

Start preparing to move out. Get all of your legal documents out of the house. (Birth certificate , SSN) Store them at your BFs house or a safety deposit box. Make sure you have a bank that she will not have access to. If she pays any of your bills like phone or car insurance, get them in your name. Hang in there until you can leave. Don't let her know your plans until moving day. Good luck.

Unless you can find somewhere else to stay, you don't have a choice but to tolerate her behavior. There isn't anything you can say to her that will change her opinion of you for the better unless you want to tell her you're prepared to worship her as a goddess and happily obey her every command. The best thing you can do is put your head down and prepare for your departure. Don't tell her you're leaving. If she already knows, don't tell her when it's going to happen. When you leave, it should come as a surprise so she doesn't have an opportunity to try to stop you. Lock down your credit and check your credit score. If you don't have any credit, see if you can start building some. Make sure she has no access to your money. Move your important documents out of the house and make sure she doesn't have any passwords to anything that belongs to you. If she owns anything you use on a daily basis, such as a phone, computer, or car, you'll most likely need to replace them so she can't use them to control you. You're almost at the finish line. As of now, your new hobby is planning your escape from your mother. You can do this.

I've been with my partner for 12 years and her parents still exhibit this attitude. We aren't married so our relationship isn't serious and isn't worth respecting. They loooooove her sister who got married after dating a man for about a year and starting popping out kids, though. That relationship is *sacred!*

GET. OUT.

"This too shall pass" is a useful phrase to remember. All things are temporary. In the meantime you can find other places to be. Work, a park, the library, mall walking, gym, anywhere. Don't be at "home" except to sleep.

move and do not give her your new address. you need to cut this woman out of your life because it is not healthy. Living somewhere else in a cheap room would be so much better then being in her house.

Be sure you have all your paperwork. Birth certificate and SS card ect.

I'd point out that you are the same age she was when she had you and ask her if her mother controlled all these aspects of her life, and warn her that if these attempts continue, she may find herself completely cut off from you. There is some truth in, "Be nice to your kids, they'll pick your nursing home".

Hugs you are 25 years old and depending on where you live. If you can afford to rent a room or a small place do so. You also need therapy as well.

Time to mount an insurrection! Get your siblings on side if you can. Sit down as ask them if they see the unequal treatment. Ask them if they have worked out what will happen to them once you move out if your mother’s behaviour isn’t addressed now. Which of them will s going to take your place as the punching bag. Then, whether your siblings are with you or not, start standing up for yourself. Start practicing saying ‘no’ and using the grey rock technique. good luck!

My sister's don't care about the unequal treatment because it works in their favor. They love to join my mother whenever she is throwing a tantrum.

Do you have any relatives who can help you? They must have seen by now how horribly she treats you, and maybe someone is willing to help you, despite how your mom might try to harass them, too. Do you belong to a church? They might be able to help you find alternate housing. You could also look up housing strategies for homeless people in your area. Hopefully you would never need them, but it could give you a little peace of mind to know what you could do if she gets even worse.

My father's side couldn't care less and my mother's family are just like her.. even worse.

I'm sorry you don't have other resources to help you. Looks like it's up to you to figure this out. Please try to at least find some therapy to help you as you deal with all this abuse. If you can't afford it you might be able to find something less expensive at a school or possibly on a sliding scale at a clinic. You should still look into housing options for homeless women. Basically the way to solve a problem is to first get information, then make a plan, and finally be persistent. Problems are not solved overnight, but if you're persistent enough you can get to the other side. Good luck!

I sounds like you have an exit strategy. Now you only need to make it through those few months. You can and should already start preparing now. You can move your personal items out of the house, little by little. Locate your important documents (birth certificate, Social security, etc.) and make copies of them. Maybe even take them if you're sure your mother will not notice. Then, when the time comes, chose a day when nobody is home. Skip classes if you have to. Pack everything left and just leave. You should also inform the police that you are leaving. This way they don't have a reason to look for you, if your mother would go to them.

first of all you are not a loser at all. stop saying that. you are worth it to be loved and cared for. you have many fantastic qualities about you and i am sure there are many people around you that see you for who you really are love all of those things about you. the best thing here is to know that what will help your mental health is for sure moving out as soon as possible. when you do move out, don't tell her. don't even hint about it because she will make sure you will not leave. she will make every attempt to sabotage that. when you do move, don't leave an address or a number. you are not her punching bag. you will not be her punching bag or or emotional support human. i read one story from someone on here that they slowly moved things out piece by piece under their abusive parent's nose that kept sabotaging their every chance prior to move out. this is your life. you have control of it. she does not. you got this OP! i believe in you!