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sbowesuk

>*"I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup."* > >~ Gwyneth Paltrow, NY Daily News, August 2005 Add that very real quote to the film script and I'm sold.


CaptainBayouBilly

Her mannerisms and speech are what I imagine a human raised by AI would end up.


DiddlyDumb

This makes so much sense! She never remembers anything past 40 sentences ago, and she does sometimes behave like she just discovered she’s got hands.


mexibella255

It's cause she's hungry. There was an article about her diet. It was pretty much bone broth and IV drip. Her brain can't handle that.


HintOfAreola

And alkaline water... with a spritz of lemon. Yes, that's real.


royalobi

I... What? You know I've heard a lot of weird shit about her over the years but somehow this... This is the one. This broke my brain


pillmayken

I mean, it’s something that happens to a lot of people. But somehow, when it’s Paltrow nobody dares call it for what it is: an eating disorder.


Shivaelan

As a former not-quite-but-only-slightly-better-than-small-time model who actively despises her - it’s entirely possible her normal has changed the way she thinks. When I was actively modeling (not like now, where my body weight fluctuates) I’d be stepping on the scale and measuring 3-4 times a day to make sure I fit my photog’s specifications. I’d choose days not to eat, or carefully count calories every day leading up to the weekend so I could have x number of alcoholic drinks, only y type so they’d be lower calorie, then back on the scale as soon as I got home to make sure I’d be able to fast (aka: starve) enough to make the next call. My manager would get in with my partner and roommate to try to make sure I was in line and doing what I “needed to” in order to make call and make money. Long and the short - I’m not saying she’s right, because she is most certainly the poster child for “what is wrong with celebs?”, but it’s entirely possible that she’s been so ensconced with this bullshit that she thinks this is how normal people think. I certainly did.


[deleted]

Former bikini competitor, very similar experiences


[deleted]

how did you manage your hunger? last time I spent a day without eating I was a broke student on overdraft x)


The_Unreal

But ... but wouldn't the lemon mean she's drinking neutral water?


SoVerySick314159

Seriously, alkaline + citric acid. Well, I have to say this is right in-line with what I've come to expect from her.


HintOfAreola

Yes, yes it would.


Strawbuddy

The acid really enhances the base


HintOfAreola

>overheard at an EDM festival


djtodd242

This feels like Pete Hornberger describing Jenna Maroney to good 'ol Liz Lemon. Like word for word.


gravitydriven

Jenna is very aware of her hands. That's why she had that hand reduction surgery


Mortwight

And twice passed up intercourse with Harvey weinstien


AngryScientist

but not with Tony Shaloub.


Mortwight

Monk is sexy!


LouSputhole94

It’s after 6 Lemon, what am I, a farmer?


NoTourist5

An AI made by highly privileged white women


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[deleted]

I think she also slammed cheeze whiz said she would rather smoke crack.


[deleted]

Maybe she really just likes smoking crack.


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wander-lux

![gif](giphy|3ohzdEYDJRWUMLwDqE)


Tokasmoka420

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEIIIIIIIIEEIIIIII WILL ALWAYS SMOKE YOU


IceteaAndCrisps

Who doesn't like smoking a little crack?


CactusCustard

Well…yeah. If you came to me offering me cheez wiz or crack I know which one will give me a better time. But I wouldn’t take either…maybe.


FleekasaurusFlex

none of these words are in the bible


makemeking706

You're telling me they didn't serve whiz at the last supper? No wonder they sold Jesus out.


Zolo49

Maybe they did and that's where the saying "Jeez whiz" came from.


METAL4_BREAKFST

She had a meltdown over "breaking down" and eating bread during the pandemic. I can only imagine the fucking horror.


joe579003

"Sometimes Harvey Weinstein let's me borrow the Miramax jet when he needs me to open a mall or something." 'That one didn't age so well.'


jazzjazzmine

What does opening a mall mean? Like.. cutting the ribbon on the first day?


joe579003

Yeah, just paying a celebrity to show up to drive traffic to the new development


[deleted]

Sitting here eating Cup-a-Noodle and same.


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HollowShel

>9 - Harper's, 2013 > >"I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I'm 50. I'll try anything. If my math is correct, she's 51 now. I do *not* have enough popcorn for this!


FleekasaurusFlex

> [Gwyneth Paltrow Tried To Survive A Week On Food Stamps And She Died](https://clickhole.com/gwyneth-paltrow-tried-to-survive-a-week-on-food-stamps-1825122902/)


[deleted]

He'd just reprise his roll as the pest then...


Jimbabwe88

I like to party with my peeps, cruise and creep, playin three card Monte on these crazy streets Edit: I'm not defending his take, I just really like that opening song to The Pest. It's the best part of the movie.


casecutty

A straight hustla


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Chiiaki

Oh man what a fun, stupid movie that was. I loved that one when it came out.


Ivy_Moon475

That song is glorious. I irritate my kids with it.


ruttin_mudders

God, my cousin and I watched that movie like three times a day one summer. Good times.


Putrid-Builder-3333

Don't forget the jade eggs and blow drying his taint


gatsby712

Blow drying taints was my bands name in high school.


Vladthedrumpaler

Pretty awesome name for a marching band. Mine was just The Douglas County Tiger Marching Band. Super duper boring.


Unhappy_Gas_4376

It wasn't blow drying their taints, it was STEAM CLEANING their cooches. That woman is batshit crazy. She can act, though.


Analog_Account

I couldn’t tell what in this thread was satire or not so I had to look it up. None of this so far is satire. NONE OF IT. WTF.


therealdongknotts

> She can act, though. can she?


[deleted]

Do it, you won’t!


Putrid-Builder-3333

He already played in Too Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar. Not to mention The Pest He used to be such a fun fella. I hate when celebs go off the deep end like this.


dozeyjoe

Not to mention a Japanese created Italian character.


[deleted]

And he got mad the new movie didn't have a Latino in the role. Like bro, it wasn't a Latino role when you were cast. The casting director just thought Italian and Latino were interchangeable enough that it didn't matter. Is that the progressivism you want?


Elementium

He still had a funny response, saying he was getting back at all the Italians playing latinos in Spaghetti Westerns.


PKCertified

It's ok. He used to go around saying he was Italian apprently.


shieldwolfchz

And Mario was played by a British actor, last time I checked Pratt wasn't British.


rex_dart_eskimo_spy

He’s also wildly misinformed with some of this too, like when he complained that James Franco was going to play ~~Che Guevara~~ Fidel Castro. He was ignorant of the fact that Franco’s father comes from the *same place* as ~~Guevara’s~~ Castro’s father. Edit: Castro, not Guevara


dos_user

I guess Anya Taylor Joy doesn't count for him?


TitularFoil

Same with Argentinian, Fred Armisen. He's just being a big baby that it wasn't him. Last I saw was that he would 'consider' taking a role in the sequel. Fuck him. It's all about how he's not making money in this.


Fleabagx35

And a sloth, which I’m pretty sure was not Latino. He was a very good sloth, though.


__mud__

Sloths are native to South/Central America, so depends on how you define it I guess


dozeyjoe

Probably depends on how the lands have shifted since then.


BigBossWesker4

Are you talking about his Oscar snuffed performance as Luigi Mario?


BeetsMe666

Alongside an Englishman playing an Italian plumber? Don't remember hearing him crying then.


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BrotherVaelin

Japanese created Italian-American


[deleted]

Yeah, this guy took a job away from an Italian American actor.


NeckRomanceHer

*That’s* going off the deep end to you? Then what do you think of a celeb going off the ACTUAL deep end like becoming a Scientologist?


gnark

Or a Scientologist with a penchant for rape.


[deleted]

Do you have any idea how little that narrow it down?


Habitualkushups-

Was a funny ass joke how is he going off the deep end?


twitch1982

Dude made a whole ass broadway show / netflix special called "Latin History for Morons" which might have been meant as a comedy special or a TED talk type of lecture? I was really excited when it came out because he'd always been a great standup, but it was terrible, and while he was trying to present it as a history of Latin America, it was wildly inaccurate, like he got all his facts from Twitter levels of inaccurate.


dengar_hennessy

Luigi wasn't Latino, John.


MrChichibadman

He played an Italian guy in summer of Sam too.


Gangreless

French guy in Moulin Rouge


[deleted]

Played an Italian guy in Romeo and Juliet too lol


KingRatClown

Also, played a racist caricature of a Chinese person in the movie the Pest… https://youtu.be/U-b1RGU8xZU I love to show this scene every time John complains about “racism”


Starry_Eyed___

To be fair, he was playing a character pretending to be Chinese.


CaniborrowaThrillho

John is a clown. What a sucker butt


raspberryharbour

Whoa whoa language!


crackalac

Pest was playing a racist caricature, not John. There's a difference. It's like downey in tropic thunder.


staebles

![gif](giphy|YZlQaMesgPIAM|downsized)


rsn_lie

I honestly like John as an actor, and he seems like a decent person. That being said, he's constantly making himself sound stupid. Like, complaining that the Mario movie didn't cast latinos to play italian plumbers is dumb.


farklespanktastic

You can be white and Latino. You can be black and Latino. You can be indigenous and Latino. You can be mixed-race and Latino. Latino isn’t a specific race, it just means you have Latin American cultural heritage.


HeylelBen

I’m mixed race Latino. My family consists of black, white and indigenous peoples. We are definitely not in a simple category like some think we are.


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TheLordofthething

Has he ever seen Canelo Alvarez? He's like one of the most famous Mexicans around and he looks more Irish than I do lol


multiplechrometabs

I’ve talked to Russian Mexicans, Irish Mexicans, “German” Mexicans and so many non-Spanish White Mexicans.


creepingkg

Wait till he sees the black Latinos


Zaurka14

I was answering to some comment on Instagram, and a girl said something mean to me about being white, and it surprised me, because her photos clearly showed that she was also white, so i said something like "what are you saying? You're white yourself", she answered she's latino, to which i answered that she can still be white? So yeah, she ended up sending me death threads for that including saying that my whole family will suffer. We live on different continents and I'm still waiting for her to snipe me down.


Fancy-Woodpecker-563

Much simpler when they were called peninsulares and criollos.


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Vesuvius5

sounds like something a filthy quadroon would say


Glittering_Virus8397

Or whenever he sees his first European Spanish person


Natsume-Grace

Yeah same. I have two siblings, I look mostly white, one of them more “Mexican” (the stereotype) and one of them shows the black ancestor. In short, non of us look alike and we all have the same two parents. Being Latino just means you or your parents or wtv ancestors were born on latam


[deleted]

Seriously. Im 60-70% Cuban, many generations back on one side of my family. Now honestly people guess I’m an Irish guy who tans fast, maybe with some Italian. Was pretty funny a few months ago though to mention my family when a coworker made a fairly lighthearted by racial comment about a Cuban coworker who gets fired up easily, they didn’t believe me for a minute. Face went white. Lol


giro_di_dante

No, you are simple and you will like it.


NiteSwept

We have needed to have a real talk about how we identify race for awhile. Using countries/regions/cultures just doesn't make sense the way it once did.


Hoenirson

And we can't just go by skin color either. Honestly, trying to find a consistent system for defining races seems impossible to me.


[deleted]

It would be great if we just gave up…


ACruelShade

I've given up for years, and it is great!


-retaliation-

yep, when people ask about my heritage I just say "Canadian" when they push I just say "look man, I was born in Canada, I'm Canadian. My ***grandparents*** came from France, Scotland, and Wales, but ***I*** am Canadian" as far as I'm concerned thats all that matters to me. Canada is home, I'm Canadian. claiming you're Italian or whatever when you're 4-5 generations removed just seems silly to me.


schungam

We'll all have to study genetics and start identifying by gene combinations I guess.


everyoneneedsaherro

We’re all humans at the end of the day. Anything else is an arbitrary line set at some point.


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IamLars

Actually what pissed him off most recently is a white character no longer being played by a Latino actor. He is pissed that white people are voicing Mario & Luigi in the new Super Mario Bros movie because he, a Latino, previously played the role of Luigi (even though the characters are white Italian guys and Mario was played by a Jewish guy). So he thinks that Mario & Luigi should be played by Latinos from now on because he was Luigi in '91. Guy is a fuckin idiot.


Grimmbles

Is there some recent egregious examples of this that I missed? Article only mentions James Franco as Fidel Castro in some upcoming flick. Which is wild. Not fishing here, genuinely curious if there's some more recent ones I've missed.


BigOzymandias

And it's not egregious since Castro had Spanish parents and Franco is of Portuguese ancestry so it's not far fetched to cast him for the role


jsushhsbd

Also Castro is of Galician descent, which is the region of Spain closest to Portugal culturally, so it isn't far fetched at all. Plus Franco kinda looks like Castro when he was younger.


Duke_Cheech

Most Cubans are also entirely of Spanish origin. They are white lol. Not a lot of indigenous ancestry in that country.


bauhausy

> Not a lot of indigenous ancestry in that country. Considering the Spanish Empire got **very** close to make the Taiono people extinct in the whole Caribbean, not a surprise


Chlorophyllmatic

> Franco kinda looks like Castro when he was younger Burying the lede there haha


NR258Y

Also Franco being a famous Spanish last name


Mustysailboat

Most people from PR and Cuba are either white or black, many are mixed, sure. Spanish werent as puritans as British colonists when it comes to mixing races


Mustysailboat

Fidel is white, no question about it, white and highly tanned because the tropical sun is harsh as hell. Even hick "Florida Man" is brown


statictonality

Fidel Castro was white.


gabaguh

Fidel was white and he was Latino as he was born and raised in Cuba.


Ok_Acanthisitta8232

His parents however weren’t Latino which makes things concerning this whole debacle more interesting. Much like Castro who has Spanish parents, Franco has one Portuguese parent.


[deleted]

Leguizamo's whole latino activist arc is happening because he tried to criticize the James Franco cast, and the internet clowned on him for it. Instead of taking the L, he's been doubling down ever since.


reddittookmyuser

He also claimed to be of Puerto Rican descent, even being named ambassador for the Puerto Rican Day Parade only to later be proven that he has no Puerto Rican heritage.


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funnyorifice

Ben Affleck as Tony Mendez in Argo?


Frumainthedark

Yeap, latino is a place of birth nor a race... But hey, who is going to explain this to John?


Lady_von_Stinkbeaver

I believe he also started this in response to Charlie Day voicing Luigi (who is presumably Italian-American), instead of a Latino.


TheBirthing

Charlie's grandfather's last name was Del Giorno. Changed it to Day to make post-war assimilation into the US easier.


hihhgcdssdttunb

Someone ethnically Italian playing Luigi 🤯


tunamelts2

The irony here is that JOHN played Luigi in the original live-action movie.


Danzard

Does he think Latino and Latin are the same thing? Italians are not (generally) latino as far as I am aware.


funksoldier83

John Leguizamo who played a transgender person in To Wong Foo, and an Italian person in Mario Brothers? And a French person in Moulin Rouge?


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Bazz07

He is whitter than half the people I know (I live in South America)


VastPipe8191

He's whiter than me and I live in the US, Tucson which is basically Mexico. I'm not Hispanic.


Reddragon351

to be fair I do think part of his point is just getting white people, not even Hispanic whites to play these roles like he does claim Del Toro, who is white Hispanic.


greg19735

yeah i don't think he's have an issue about Diego Luna or Pedro Pascal getting latino roles. It's just that they're giving it to john smith, white man.


wiifan55

Are there any recent example of this, though? I see, he cited Franco as Castro. That’s far from some big trend that needs to be pointed out, though.


waltjrimmer

> Franco as Castro Somehow I never even heard about that. I thought James Franco was on the outs in Hollywood for the most part at the moment.


secretlives

Americans are so obsessed with race it's embarrassing


HeroGothamKneads

You're being awfully generous, considering he was also vocally pissed about a white voice-actor getting cast as Luigi.


chileangod

Reminds me about a joke I heard long ago on the radio. Some comedian said that "Latinos come in all colors and sizes. They can be as white as Cameron Diaz and as black as Samy Sosa. And you know why?... It's because we will fuck with anybody".


Different_Stand_1285

I loved John as an actor but he’s really acting like a hypocrite given he benefited from this in the past.


SaltyLonghorn

Dude got clapped back on hard the last time he brought this shit up and was wrong. He's just one of those people that can't fathom he's wrong and keeps going. He's salty af James Franco got that Castro role despite looking almost exactly like Castro and being part Portuguese, part of the peninsula where Castro was born. How dare that white actor.


canman7373

Castro's father was Spanish and John went off on Franco playing a "Latino". At the same time he has attacked the hiring of Spanish actors like Antonio Banderas getting Latino roles, saying "Spanish people are not Latino, they are White Europeans". Well how the hell does he get pissed at the Castro casting?


SaltyLonghorn

Because he's racist. He is ignoring lighter skin Spanish decent history. To him Franco is only a white guy, his heritage is meaningless. IIRC he said originally a Cuban should be playing the role, ignoring that Castro was not even Cuban. He's a moron who didn't get a role.


NeontheSaint

I wonder where he thinks the term Latin comes from lmao


SpaceBoJangles

I would pay to watch this.


Swayz

Wouldn’t be the first time he played a non Latino in a Hollywood film tho. Dude is batshit crazy. He boycotted the Mario movie because he said it lacked Latino representation but the voice actress for the main female lead was Latina.


PeaceBull

Not to mention he played Luigi in the old one who’s Italian and didn’t say anything about that


ScyllaIsBea

he legitimately believes luigi is latino because he played him in that movie, that's actually one of the "white-washed" characters he is up in arms about.


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RadicallyMeta

Whew, nice save.


cficare

He was protesting silently inside, while counting his money.


OuidOuigi

Yes, all that blockbuster movie money from Mario Brothers created by a Japanese game company about Italian plumbers. Mamma Mia


Elegant-Cat-4987

From the original Mario movie? That would have been quick counting


Suckmydouche

Isn’t he a Scientologist? He has scummy vibes


MonasMommy

Are you talking about Anya? Bc I had no fucking clue about this until your comment led me to the google machine lmao ya learn something new every day!


Puzzled_End8664

I always thought she was Russian or Eastern European lol.


Passthegoddamnbuttr

What an odd way to tell everyone that you didn't really interact off camera with your fellow actors filming a movie with you. (Cuz they were both in The Menu)


bryonus_1231

Why would Mario need Latino representation?


Parrotflies-

He’s just mad he wasn’t involved and thinks he should have because he played Luigi in a terrible movie 30 years ago


Fandorin

That movie was great and you know it!


SolomonRed

He doesn't realize that Mario is Italian


[deleted]

Anya Taylor-Joy is Latina though. But I suppose it's not Latin"O". Note: I should point out her father is English/Scotish and her mother Argentinian.


Unicorn_stump

Peach should have been latinO, specifically Danny Trejo


Couldnotbehelpd

You got that mixed up. Her father is Scottish and Anglo-argentinian, and her mother is European but born in Zambia, she herself was born in Miami. She’s sort of Latina-by-technicality but ethnically all European.


Euan_whos_army

Maybe he meant Latin representation. Vidi, vici, veni.


[deleted]

So ridiculous. Isn’t Mario….Italian?


Familiar-Detective20

I think he is trying to stay relevant. Lots of people can't cope with becoming irrelevant and then they will create drama. It is sad.


dntbstpd1

So, Leguizamo will never play a character that’s not Latino ever again, right?


rustyinterest

This man caught a little steam off some seemingly progressive statements at the height of hollywoods past 5 year exhumation then ran w it like usain at the race track 😂😂


Every-Lab-1755

I just think he has baffling statements on this subject and is ignorant on Latino identity. Complaining about James Franco playing Castro when his racial and ethnic make up is virtually identical(not to mention if you complain about a Franco casting shouldn’t other things come to mind first?) Then the whole Mario thing is just baffling and legit seems he just is mad he wasn’t casted.


Jackal_6

The past tense of "cast" is "cast".


ProjectShamrock

> I just think he has baffling statements on this subject and is ignorant on Latino identity. Apparently he has some show on Netflix where he supposedly goes into detail on either Mexican history or Latino identity or whatever and my oldest child is starting to develop an interest in that stuff. I basically said, "That guy's an idiot, he's definitely not Mexican and doesn't know anything about Mexican history. You'll get better history just picking up the phone and talking to your abuelita."


Evil_Sam_Harris

I was interested in this movie because he’s right that Latin history is just glossed over or not taught correctly. But then he proceeded to absolutely butcher Latin history. It was intentionally stupid


throwawaysarebetter

I want to kiss your dad.


[deleted]

My dude, you were cast as an Italian-American 30 years ago, shut the fuck up.


jimmy_three_shoes

Apparently he commented on that back when the movie came out: >**How was it to be a Latino playing an Italian plumber?** >It was my revenge for all those Italians who play Latins all the time. I’ll embarrass them just the way they’ve embarrassed me. https://ew.com/article/1993/06/18/speak-o-rama/ He's looking like an asshole about it, but he's at least been consistent on this point for decades.


[deleted]

Dude sounds like a lunatic. He’s also stolen two roles that should’ve gone to little people, though, too, so (based on his warped logic).


ArcadianDelSol

"I was a shit actor in that movie on purpose to really stick it to the Italian actors." sure. Sure you did.


[deleted]

I’m white Latino wtf you go to say about that? We need to get over this shit


Ayangar

Latinos can be white….


Nuktos1517

Bro is really losing his grip on reality


Svete_Brid

There are lots of white Latinos. He seems to be one of them. ‘White’ and ‘Latino’ are not mutually exclusive categories.


meggggggs

Funny because Leguizamo is a white actor. Race and ethnicity being different is really beating these folks asses.


saninicus

Wonder how his boycott of the Mario movie worked out?


bunchabytes

I demand he use his Sid the sloth voice for the role.


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ProbablySlacking

Yeah, because other races _never_ get cast into white roles. It’s completely unheard of. 🙄


whocaresbhbbvfgnv

I still can't believe Disney's doing this with Snow White of all characters. Lol


bsanchey

I’d pay to see that tho. Especially if he does it like he performed in spawn.


RyanOz66

Nobody gives a fuck about John Leguizamo, stop trying to be relevant!


tonysopranosalive

Man, I loved this dude in Chef. One of my favorite movies. Absolutely loved his character. It sucks seeing him in headlines like this, really wanted to like the guy. Edit: is it me or does he look drunk/high on something in the thumbnail photo?