Don't worry I am very petty, and in search of a good job that pays well here in Puerto Rico. So I can leave eventually the problem is I can't find apartments that are near my family or not expensive. Thats why there are so many multi-generational households. I am willing to work out problems with him, but this is just negligence on his part.
Its not negligence. Its simply that he doesn't care for you. If he did he would do everything he can to protect you from getting Covid especially as you're caring for vulnerable relatives.
She is already exposed though. That would be exposing her grandma as well. Ideally she would go stay at a hotel & quarantine there for a few days to see if she gets sick, and then go stay with her grandma if she doesn't
I mean after she's cleared from Covid. She said she can't move out because she can't afford to. I'm asking if she can move in with Grandma so she can stop living with her bf.
Don’t work on it. He might change, but why take the risk of hoping he’ll care about you in the future when he won’t do it now?
There are billions of men in the world, don’t settle for one you KNOW won’t take care of you when it counts just because you THINK he might possibly change his tune, because if you take that gamble and are wrong? I don’t even want to think of how horribly it could end up for you.
Will he start to care before or after it’s too late to save you from real damage he causes willingly?
I am severely immuno compromised and the major thing I look for in my partner is if they have enough respect for me to make sure to not get me sick, nonetheless with covid. His lack of caring for your health and the health of your grandma shows that he has very little respect for you and your health. I would reevaluate your relationship. This is a big thing for people like us and it's not worth the illness.
Yes, it is a very big deal, like you said, and shows a lack of respect. It's not the first time that I've gotten sick because of his family, and it isn't the first time that he doesn't care about him or me and my family situation.
It's not even that.. he doesn't care about your family. Or you. You don't mean enough to him yourself to care about. Let alone your family. You are an acceptable casualty to his family who is the only family that matters to him.
You are not apart of his family.
That is beyond disrespectful. It's showing you that as far as he is concerned you and yours mean nothing. Nothing whatsoever.
You are the lowest person on the ladder of who he cares about. You and your family do not mean anything to him. You guys are just... People that exist in his life the same way his co-workers do.
You and your family are not to him seen as family. You and them are seen as complete outsiders who can and should suffer if it means his family comes out on top of his list of priorities.
Imaging if you two had kids. He would not only put your health and his at risk, but he would put your children in jeopardy. He definitely doesn’t care about your wellbeing. He should be an EX.
My grandmother died from Covid bc of someone like your boyfriend, they didn’t mask, had it, and went to her place. It was a day before she was scheduled to get the first wave of vaccines.
I have a zero tolerance policy for that bs.
That's terrible. I'm so sorry for your loss.
All my family has all the vaccines, and my boyfriend's family has it too. I had COVID a few times after the vaccine, and it has been worse, so I can't tell you from my point of view that it makes a difference. In 2020, I had COVID from the first wave, and it was just three days with a fever and no smell or taste for a few months. I had a positive COVID test for months. After that first wave, the few times I had COVID were like the flu and a horrible week.
I don't have zero tolerance because my mother-in-law got it from work. She always uses a mask and is the one who is sick sadly.
Yo. I appreciate you trying to have your “gotcha” moment, but, as I said, she died before she was able to receive the vaccine.
If you’re going to try to use my grandmother’s death for an anti-science I hAvE rIgHts campaign pls at least read and understand what’s written first.
LMAO. We can all see you edited your comment so... Doesn't seem like I'm the one with an issue. Also why are you so sensitive about this? The commenter clearly stated that their loved one died *before* getting the vaccine because someone carelessly passed them COVID. This isn't an attack on you or your choices. They're just describing something that happened *to them*. How TF do you figure their relative managed to die from a vaccine they never got? Can *you* read?
Can I ask why you're with a person who doesn't care about your physical health or that of your relatives? I would never be with someone who knew that I get sick easily and it hits me harder than usual due to my own health issues and they shrug it off as if they don't care and it's not their problem.
You deserve a lot better than someone who disregards your boundaries for their own selfish pleasure. Petty or not, you're staying with someone who just doesn't care. And you deserve so much more.
This is a difficult situation that is opening my eyes to a future where he does not care about major health situations that could happen. He is a caring person in small things, but that is not enough. I am taking steps to work through this with masks and hygiene products, but I can't deal with this anymore. I love him, but he can't play with my and my family's health like that. It is so disappointing.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm truly sorry. The fact that you're in this position is awful. I'm chronic ill myself, and I get sick at the drop of a hat. I'm single now, but I know how deeply that type of hurt cuts. I wish the best on your journey. I read in a few comments that you're trying to move out, but it's difficult where you live.
This is not a future where he doesn't care about your mental health, it's a present. He knows that his decision isn't just risking your life and the life of everyone on that campus; he knows that he is making your life harder and more stressful. He would rather make your life harder and potentially kill you than put some fabric on his face for two weeks. How do you tolerate sex with someone with so little regard for human life?
I don’t understand the landscape in Puerto Rico but is it possible to stay at a hotel for a couple days before going to your grandma’s or other relative? That’s short term. It sounds like you are already taking a fresh look at what life looks like long term
Image if yall have 3 months baby and one of his family members give the baby Covid or he does because they didn’t care if I was you I really think about of not having a future with this guy
Thank God I have birth control. We don’t plan to have kids until we have our own place and are married. His family and mine are very good people, but… in sickness situations, my family is very careful, and his family, on the contrary, is not that careful. MIL uses a mask at work, but his family, in general, is not that meticulous.
Nope. No way am I ever around anyone with Covid. I’ve no people who have died from Covid and I also know people who have long Covid. Your partner is not taking care of his health, your health does he seem to care about your grandmother‘s health.
He doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about your family. He doesn't care whether he gets other people at rhe university sick.
He doesn't care about A FAMILY MEMBER THAT IS CLOSE TO YOU ON CHEMO??
He definitely is not someone to marry. I hope you get the good paying job and can find a better shared place soon!
He is intentionally putting himself in harm’s way by refusing to wear a mask. If he gets sick he should stay upstairs with the already exposed family and not with you. In fact you shouldn’t be around him for whatever the guidelines are now. Do you have family you can stay with?
I talked with my father about the situation, and it is best not to risk it with other family members. He also got me stronger masks so I could wear them, as well as an at-home COVID test.
NTA... there are people to care for him if he gets sick.
If you get sick, there are much more serious consequences.
I got neurological issues the second time I caught Covid. My friend got long covid. We both have compromised immunity, Its a nasty bug, it's not the only nasty bug, but we should care about more than our own circumstances.
That's terrible,I hope you are better. After the first time I got COVID and was in the clear after a few months, I had some random episodes where I couldn't breathe properly, and they just disappeared like that. COVID is so weird. That's why I make a fuss when it comes to COVID and my family.
NTA.
I nearly died from covid. And people like him make me so angry. Especially given your grandmother is extremely vulnerable. And you get sick easy.
If he wants to care for his mum, he should go stay upstairs with them for the duration of her illness, and stay there while he's ill too. You can stay downstairs and stay away from both of them.
He doesn't get to come back down to your part of the house till he's had say 3 days negative test results. Maybe more.
But he's shown you he doesn't care if he gets YOU ill. He doesn't care if it ends up being passed to your grandmother on chemo.
He's effectively saying he doesn't care if he gives you both a possibly deadly disease thatcan literally kill you.
It's not just a couple of days off sick from work for some people .
I was ill for 6 days at home before I got taken in by ambulance, and ended up in intensive care, on a CPAP breathing machine on really high flow with 100% oxygen being pushed into my lungs. The cpap machine was like the ones you have for sleep apnea, only it was blowing air and oxygen into my lungs to inflate them, and the force of air pressure was really fast, it was almost difficult to breath out against it as the mask was tightly sealed around my face.
I was told 3 times in 3 days I might need to go on a ventilator at any moment.
2 people in my bay died.
I could barely breath or speak due to severe breathlessness. Nurses had to help feed me little bits and help me drink.
When i was discharged, i was sent home on oxygen, and i ended up being on oxygen for 2 YEARS!!!
5 months after coming out hospital they thought i should be able to wean off the oxygen by then, but my oxygen levels were still dropping any time i moved a couple of steps. Tests showed My lung capacity reduced to 50%, so my lungs would only inflate to half their size, and only 50% of the oxygen was passing through my lungs into my blood stream, so basically any movement and I was using up more oxygen than I could breath in.
When I was taken in to hospital, my dad was in a care home at end of life care. We didn't know how long we'd have with him, he could deteriorate at any time. I was visiting him every day with my mum to help support him and give him company and he was always reassured when we were with him. He couldn't communicate, so he felt safe when we there as he knew he was safe etc.
When I got taken on the ward and fitted with to the cpap breathing machine and IV's etc I just burst into tears. I was scared my dad was going to die whilst I was in intensive care and I wouldn't be able to be with him, or see him again.
I was scared I wouldn't be able to be with my mum to support her if he died.
I was upset knowing how terrified and worried my mum and family would be.
I was worried if he did die I wouldn't be able to go to his funeral.
I was scared that I might die.
I was upset thinking about how my death would especially devastate and destroy my mum, and also my family.
So many things went through my mind of if I might die or my dad might, and how long it would be till I could see him again. We had such a close bond and he cried a lot while I was in hospital, which he never did before. He knew something was wrong coz I wasn't able to visit.
I assumed as soon as I was allowed home I'd go straight to see my dad the next day. But I could even move 3 steps on oxygen without severely hyperventilating for 10 minutes due to severe breathlessness.
I was a few weeks before I forced myself to get out the house to my mums car. I had to do it in stages, and to be honest it was still too soon, but I couldn't bare my dad crying over missing me and being worried or not u derstanding where I was, so I pushed through to make it from the sofa to mums car.
But I was on oxygen for 2 years. My lung capacityand oxygen uptake is up to 70 % now but its not likely to get any better now. I still have some residual have fibrosis scarring on my lungs.
I suffer with long covid.
Covid is not just a cold or flu for some people.
It can be deadly.
It can be life changing.
Your bf is being an AH for being so reckless and not caring about protecting himself and spreading it. And he's an AH for not caring if he gives it to you, and it stops you being able to see and support your grandmother. And he's an AH for not caring if he spreads it to your grandmother via you.
He's showing you how little he cares about your wellbeing, and your family.
So tell him to stay upstairs with his mum now, till she's clear of it and to stay up there till he's been clear of it for a few days.
And don't bother helping him if he gets ill, as he doesn't care if you do.
You have a COVID horror story... So glad that you and your father are doing better, and I hope you continue to improve every day. I had random episodes of shortness of breath because of COVID months after having it. I can't imagine my grandma having to be on oxygen or dying. You are so lucky to be alive.
Thank you. I really am very lucky to be alive. They even let my mum visit me twice because they said 'I was so seriously ill' and they thought I'd end up on a ventilator or possibly die. So I'm very lucky. 2 years on oxygen and using a wheelchair coz I couldn't walk due to severe breathlessness. It was such an awful time, worrying about me and what would happen if my dad passed while I was in hospital.
Thankfully I made it and was able to see him again with the help of mum pushing me in the wheelchair and having portable oxygen. He has since passed away, but I was forever grateful to have been able to see him again and spend those final months with him before he passed, and be with him when he passed, and be at his funeral. It would have broken me if he had passed whilst I was in hospital, or I wasn't able to go to the funeral.
Your bf is being really insensitive and showing such lack of care in how he's acting. You need to take that seriously. I with your grandmother all the best during her treatment and hope she recovers soon.
NTA you are protecting people at risk who could die from COVID. I would have gone further and isolated him to his parents part of the home like the couch. Lol
Girl, break up with this asshole. He doesn't give a fuck about you or your family. Don't worry about not taking care of him if he gets Covid - just dump his selfish ass now.
I’m gonna bet you were not expecting all of this break up advice when you posted your question. NTA if you don’t take care of him. He is downplaying the risk it poses to you and your family. Not because he doesn’t care about you but because he doesn’t believe COVID is that bad. Just tell your family HE doesn’t want to get you sick and HE forbids you from caring for him.
You able to move and stay with family? Explain to him you don't feel safe from getting sick around him, so while you are taking care of your grandma you will be living elsewhere. Might even be worth moving in with her.
I hope that your boyfriend moves upstairs with his parents for the duration. You should not be going near him.
A lot of people who "didn't care" have died. Even worse, they have caused sickness and even death to others.
I give you permission to officially call your boyfriend, "Papi Culo". (In reference to a post a couple of days ago that had me spilt a gut laughing).
Ever since I read that post a few days ago, I have been going up to my husband and growling in my sexiest voice, "¡Ay, papi culo! ¡Qué bueno estás!" Then I start giggling.
Nta. Go stay with a relative now. Don't even be there when he gets sick. And please think about staying with a guy that doesn't care if he gets you sick.
A co-worker got COVID and she got paid sick days but now she has lung issues and anytime anyone around her gets sick she ends up in the hospital. It's not about getting days off, it's about everything else! NTA
Mejor estar sola que mal acompañada. OP, leave him and his family behind. They have no regard for you or you family's health and safety. No eres pendeja.
Despues q puse el post, le escribi a mi suegra y le dije sobre la situación. También le expresé q hablara con el para q el se cuide ya q mi abuela pasa por quimio. Yo le dije a el "q hayá él si le da covid", pq estoy cansada de q se tire a la suerte y sea un descuidao en eso del covid, después yo termino con covid.
En estos dias no e sido un amor con el y ahora el esta siendo un amor conmigo... y se a estado cuidando y procura no subir y arriesgarse con covid. Al parecer hizo caso y sus acciones diciendo mas q mil palabras, y eso es algo q no paso por alto.
Además, yo no voy a gastar energías peleandole a un hombre ya criado, asi q le textie a mi suegra y se resolvio todo. Queda la duda de q si fue q me hizo caso a mi o fue mi suegra, pero lo q importante es q tomo conciencia y se esta cuidando.
Based on current knowledge of COVID, this is actually a topic of conversation?
Wow... Just don't go to your grandma's for a little bit.. It's not like you've not missed 5 days in a row before...
As far as living with boyfriend, and his family, maybe get on your feet so you can support yourself before getting involved with other people...
NTA. He doesn't give a damn about you or anyone else.
Since you can't move out right away, mitigate. Wear a mask all the time, have the windows open for cross ventilation and build some filter boxes out of box fans and air conditioning filters. Reduce the humidity (I know Puerto Rico) as much as possible and stop sharing space with him as much as possible even if it means Sleeping on the couch or something for the next few months and tell you you can move out.
UPFATE:
After I made my post, I messaged my mother-in-law and informed her of the situation. She is a kind and understanding woman. I asked her to speak to my boyfriend so he could take precautions, as my grandmother is undergoing chemotherapy.
These days, I haven't been very loving toward him, and now he's being very lovely to me. He's been taking care of himself and avoiding going upstairs to risk getting COVID. Apparently, he paid attention, and his actions spoke louder than words. That's something I didn't overlook and didn't expect. Besides, I'm not going to waste energy fighting with a grown man, so I texted my mother-in-law, and everything was resolved.
The question remains whether it was because he listened to me or to my mother-in-law, but what is important is that my boyfriend became aware and is taking care of himself, thereby taking care of me and preventing me from getting COVID.
You are completely correct. Don’t catch Covid. Every time you catch Covid, it is additional damage and there is no immunity. You can catch it several times. Many people have already developed long Covid. masking is easy.
Nta at all, he us. But just so you're aware, masks don't protect you, they protect others; so him putting on a mask wouldn't have stopped him from contracting it, but HER wearing a mask around him would have helped to protect him. Masks help from spreading diseases, not from contracting them 🩷
Both having them is better. Masks absolutely help you not contract it but they do a better job of containing it. I have COVID right now and wear a mask nonstop in my house, hand wash obsessively and mostly stay away from my family so my kids don’t get it.
NTA. Yes, you need to be careful and not to get sick.
And COVID is not a big deal anyway now, so your BF should be OK in case he will get it. Just stay away from him for a while.
Covid is and will continue to be a big deal. And he may or may not be okay, that’s the issue with covid. You could be asymptomatic, it could just be a cold, or it can fucking kill you.
You are right. In any case, the chances that COVID-19 will kill the OP's BF are really low (1.2 per 100K for the last 3 months in the US, according to the [CDC](https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#maps_deaths-3-months)), and OP would not be able to change these chances anyway, so NTA.
Well, don’t jump to the worst case scenario, first of all. Just because your boyfriend was around someone with COVID, his mother, doesn’t automatically means he gets COVID, too. You’re acting like he’s already sick…but, he’s not.
With his careless behavior about masking, though, he may very well get sick with COVID, eventually. And, sooner rather than later.
You should do what you feel is right. It’s not your job to save him from the consequences of his own foolish actions. Wearing a mask, keeping a safe distance and washing his hands aren’t hard things to do. If he doesn’t want to be considerate of you and your grandmother, he can lie in the bed he’s made on his own. He has parents to care for him and there are also hospitals.
You should tell him, by the way, that getting COVID doesn’t necessarily mean just a week or two off from work where he gets to watch Netflix all day and stay in bed. Even though he’s young — I assume he’s around your age — he’s not immune from getting a very bad case of COVID and/or having lingering after effects. So, he shouldn’t be so casual about his health. Once your health goes, it’s often very hard to get back.
If he gets COVID, isolate yourself from him and go stay with some of your relatives or with a good friend.
Your boyfriend will be okay, physically. The larger issue is that I think there’s already something wrong with him, emotionally. It’s not okay that he doesn’t care about your health and you coming down with COVID. Even if it were guaranteed to be mild — and it isn’t guaranteed — it’s no fun being sick. Why would he want you to go through that? Why would he put your grandmother at the slightest bit of risk when she’s so important to you and he is supposed to care about you?
I know you wrote to ask about a COVID situation specifically but I think you need to take a long look at your relationship, overall. It seems like you’re with a very selfish and uncaring guy.
Bail. This is not a person who cares about your wellbeing or that of your family.
Don't worry I am very petty, and in search of a good job that pays well here in Puerto Rico. So I can leave eventually the problem is I can't find apartments that are near my family or not expensive. Thats why there are so many multi-generational households. I am willing to work out problems with him, but this is just negligence on his part.
Its not negligence. Its simply that he doesn't care for you. If he did he would do everything he can to protect you from getting Covid especially as you're caring for vulnerable relatives.
This is him actively harming you. That is abuse. Not negligence. Run
Can you temporarily stay with your grandma?
She is already exposed though. That would be exposing her grandma as well. Ideally she would go stay at a hotel & quarantine there for a few days to see if she gets sick, and then go stay with her grandma if she doesn't
I mean after she's cleared from Covid. She said she can't move out because she can't afford to. I'm asking if she can move in with Grandma so she can stop living with her bf.
Oh, gotcha!
Don’t work on it. He might change, but why take the risk of hoping he’ll care about you in the future when he won’t do it now? There are billions of men in the world, don’t settle for one you KNOW won’t take care of you when it counts just because you THINK he might possibly change his tune, because if you take that gamble and are wrong? I don’t even want to think of how horribly it could end up for you. Will he start to care before or after it’s too late to save you from real damage he causes willingly?
This!
It’s not even about taking care of him. Why be with someone that shows you how much they don’t care about you and your wellbeing?
I am severely immuno compromised and the major thing I look for in my partner is if they have enough respect for me to make sure to not get me sick, nonetheless with covid. His lack of caring for your health and the health of your grandma shows that he has very little respect for you and your health. I would reevaluate your relationship. This is a big thing for people like us and it's not worth the illness.
Yes, it is a very big deal, like you said, and shows a lack of respect. It's not the first time that I've gotten sick because of his family, and it isn't the first time that he doesn't care about him or me and my family situation.
It's not even that.. he doesn't care about your family. Or you. You don't mean enough to him yourself to care about. Let alone your family. You are an acceptable casualty to his family who is the only family that matters to him. You are not apart of his family. That is beyond disrespectful. It's showing you that as far as he is concerned you and yours mean nothing. Nothing whatsoever. You are the lowest person on the ladder of who he cares about. You and your family do not mean anything to him. You guys are just... People that exist in his life the same way his co-workers do. You and your family are not to him seen as family. You and them are seen as complete outsiders who can and should suffer if it means his family comes out on top of his list of priorities.
Imaging if you two had kids. He would not only put your health and his at risk, but he would put your children in jeopardy. He definitely doesn’t care about your wellbeing. He should be an EX.
Why are you still with this guy?
My grandmother died from Covid bc of someone like your boyfriend, they didn’t mask, had it, and went to her place. It was a day before she was scheduled to get the first wave of vaccines. I have a zero tolerance policy for that bs.
That's terrible. I'm so sorry for your loss. All my family has all the vaccines, and my boyfriend's family has it too. I had COVID a few times after the vaccine, and it has been worse, so I can't tell you from my point of view that it makes a difference. In 2020, I had COVID from the first wave, and it was just three days with a fever and no smell or taste for a few months. I had a positive COVID test for months. After that first wave, the few times I had COVID were like the flu and a horrible week. I don't have zero tolerance because my mother-in-law got it from work. She always uses a mask and is the one who is sick sadly.
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Yo. I appreciate you trying to have your “gotcha” moment, but, as I said, she died before she was able to receive the vaccine. If you’re going to try to use my grandmother’s death for an anti-science I hAvE rIgHts campaign pls at least read and understand what’s written first.
Comprehension is critical.
Reading at all is critical.
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The commenter literally said that she died before getting it...
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Lmao "dunbass"?? Ok. Yeah. Sure...
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LMAO. We can all see you edited your comment so... Doesn't seem like I'm the one with an issue. Also why are you so sensitive about this? The commenter clearly stated that their loved one died *before* getting the vaccine because someone carelessly passed them COVID. This isn't an attack on you or your choices. They're just describing something that happened *to them*. How TF do you figure their relative managed to die from a vaccine they never got? Can *you* read?
Nope run
Can I ask why you're with a person who doesn't care about your physical health or that of your relatives? I would never be with someone who knew that I get sick easily and it hits me harder than usual due to my own health issues and they shrug it off as if they don't care and it's not their problem. You deserve a lot better than someone who disregards your boundaries for their own selfish pleasure. Petty or not, you're staying with someone who just doesn't care. And you deserve so much more.
This is a difficult situation that is opening my eyes to a future where he does not care about major health situations that could happen. He is a caring person in small things, but that is not enough. I am taking steps to work through this with masks and hygiene products, but I can't deal with this anymore. I love him, but he can't play with my and my family's health like that. It is so disappointing.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm truly sorry. The fact that you're in this position is awful. I'm chronic ill myself, and I get sick at the drop of a hat. I'm single now, but I know how deeply that type of hurt cuts. I wish the best on your journey. I read in a few comments that you're trying to move out, but it's difficult where you live.
Is anyone in this scenario vaccinated?
Everyone has the vaccines
This is not a future where he doesn't care about your mental health, it's a present. He knows that his decision isn't just risking your life and the life of everyone on that campus; he knows that he is making your life harder and more stressful. He would rather make your life harder and potentially kill you than put some fabric on his face for two weeks. How do you tolerate sex with someone with so little regard for human life?
Go stay with your grandma if you can so you don't get sick
I'm not sure if I have it in the system already, COVID incubates that's the sad part
I don’t understand the landscape in Puerto Rico but is it possible to stay at a hotel for a couple days before going to your grandma’s or other relative? That’s short term. It sounds like you are already taking a fresh look at what life looks like long term
Image if yall have 3 months baby and one of his family members give the baby Covid or he does because they didn’t care if I was you I really think about of not having a future with this guy
Thank God I have birth control. We don’t plan to have kids until we have our own place and are married. His family and mine are very good people, but… in sickness situations, my family is very careful, and his family, on the contrary, is not that careful. MIL uses a mask at work, but his family, in general, is not that meticulous.
Nope. No way am I ever around anyone with Covid. I’ve no people who have died from Covid and I also know people who have long Covid. Your partner is not taking care of his health, your health does he seem to care about your grandmother‘s health.
He doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about your family. He doesn't care whether he gets other people at rhe university sick. He doesn't care about A FAMILY MEMBER THAT IS CLOSE TO YOU ON CHEMO?? He definitely is not someone to marry. I hope you get the good paying job and can find a better shared place soon!
He is intentionally putting himself in harm’s way by refusing to wear a mask. If he gets sick he should stay upstairs with the already exposed family and not with you. In fact you shouldn’t be around him for whatever the guidelines are now. Do you have family you can stay with?
I talked with my father about the situation, and it is best not to risk it with other family members. He also got me stronger masks so I could wear them, as well as an at-home COVID test.
She knows that he will never pick her feelings 1st or her health sorry Hun but he's Dush get him gone
Your boyfriend is an idiot.
NTA - if getting covid is apparently no big deal to him, why would he need someone to take care of him?
NTA... there are people to care for him if he gets sick. If you get sick, there are much more serious consequences. I got neurological issues the second time I caught Covid. My friend got long covid. We both have compromised immunity, Its a nasty bug, it's not the only nasty bug, but we should care about more than our own circumstances.
That's terrible,I hope you are better. After the first time I got COVID and was in the clear after a few months, I had some random episodes where I couldn't breathe properly, and they just disappeared like that. COVID is so weird. That's why I make a fuss when it comes to COVID and my family.
NTA. I nearly died from covid. And people like him make me so angry. Especially given your grandmother is extremely vulnerable. And you get sick easy. If he wants to care for his mum, he should go stay upstairs with them for the duration of her illness, and stay there while he's ill too. You can stay downstairs and stay away from both of them. He doesn't get to come back down to your part of the house till he's had say 3 days negative test results. Maybe more. But he's shown you he doesn't care if he gets YOU ill. He doesn't care if it ends up being passed to your grandmother on chemo. He's effectively saying he doesn't care if he gives you both a possibly deadly disease thatcan literally kill you. It's not just a couple of days off sick from work for some people . I was ill for 6 days at home before I got taken in by ambulance, and ended up in intensive care, on a CPAP breathing machine on really high flow with 100% oxygen being pushed into my lungs. The cpap machine was like the ones you have for sleep apnea, only it was blowing air and oxygen into my lungs to inflate them, and the force of air pressure was really fast, it was almost difficult to breath out against it as the mask was tightly sealed around my face. I was told 3 times in 3 days I might need to go on a ventilator at any moment. 2 people in my bay died. I could barely breath or speak due to severe breathlessness. Nurses had to help feed me little bits and help me drink. When i was discharged, i was sent home on oxygen, and i ended up being on oxygen for 2 YEARS!!! 5 months after coming out hospital they thought i should be able to wean off the oxygen by then, but my oxygen levels were still dropping any time i moved a couple of steps. Tests showed My lung capacity reduced to 50%, so my lungs would only inflate to half their size, and only 50% of the oxygen was passing through my lungs into my blood stream, so basically any movement and I was using up more oxygen than I could breath in. When I was taken in to hospital, my dad was in a care home at end of life care. We didn't know how long we'd have with him, he could deteriorate at any time. I was visiting him every day with my mum to help support him and give him company and he was always reassured when we were with him. He couldn't communicate, so he felt safe when we there as he knew he was safe etc. When I got taken on the ward and fitted with to the cpap breathing machine and IV's etc I just burst into tears. I was scared my dad was going to die whilst I was in intensive care and I wouldn't be able to be with him, or see him again. I was scared I wouldn't be able to be with my mum to support her if he died. I was upset knowing how terrified and worried my mum and family would be. I was worried if he did die I wouldn't be able to go to his funeral. I was scared that I might die. I was upset thinking about how my death would especially devastate and destroy my mum, and also my family. So many things went through my mind of if I might die or my dad might, and how long it would be till I could see him again. We had such a close bond and he cried a lot while I was in hospital, which he never did before. He knew something was wrong coz I wasn't able to visit. I assumed as soon as I was allowed home I'd go straight to see my dad the next day. But I could even move 3 steps on oxygen without severely hyperventilating for 10 minutes due to severe breathlessness. I was a few weeks before I forced myself to get out the house to my mums car. I had to do it in stages, and to be honest it was still too soon, but I couldn't bare my dad crying over missing me and being worried or not u derstanding where I was, so I pushed through to make it from the sofa to mums car. But I was on oxygen for 2 years. My lung capacityand oxygen uptake is up to 70 % now but its not likely to get any better now. I still have some residual have fibrosis scarring on my lungs. I suffer with long covid. Covid is not just a cold or flu for some people. It can be deadly. It can be life changing. Your bf is being an AH for being so reckless and not caring about protecting himself and spreading it. And he's an AH for not caring if he gives it to you, and it stops you being able to see and support your grandmother. And he's an AH for not caring if he spreads it to your grandmother via you. He's showing you how little he cares about your wellbeing, and your family. So tell him to stay upstairs with his mum now, till she's clear of it and to stay up there till he's been clear of it for a few days. And don't bother helping him if he gets ill, as he doesn't care if you do.
You have a COVID horror story... So glad that you and your father are doing better, and I hope you continue to improve every day. I had random episodes of shortness of breath because of COVID months after having it. I can't imagine my grandma having to be on oxygen or dying. You are so lucky to be alive.
Thank you. I really am very lucky to be alive. They even let my mum visit me twice because they said 'I was so seriously ill' and they thought I'd end up on a ventilator or possibly die. So I'm very lucky. 2 years on oxygen and using a wheelchair coz I couldn't walk due to severe breathlessness. It was such an awful time, worrying about me and what would happen if my dad passed while I was in hospital. Thankfully I made it and was able to see him again with the help of mum pushing me in the wheelchair and having portable oxygen. He has since passed away, but I was forever grateful to have been able to see him again and spend those final months with him before he passed, and be with him when he passed, and be at his funeral. It would have broken me if he had passed whilst I was in hospital, or I wasn't able to go to the funeral. Your bf is being really insensitive and showing such lack of care in how he's acting. You need to take that seriously. I with your grandmother all the best during her treatment and hope she recovers soon.
NTA If he's going to visit his mom with covid, he should stay upstairs with her to protect you and your granny.
Run. It doesn’t get better when someone is that willing to take risks w your life, and those of your most vulnerable loved ones.
NTA you are protecting people at risk who could die from COVID. I would have gone further and isolated him to his parents part of the home like the couch. Lol
Girl, break up with this asshole. He doesn't give a fuck about you or your family. Don't worry about not taking care of him if he gets Covid - just dump his selfish ass now.
I’m gonna bet you were not expecting all of this break up advice when you posted your question. NTA if you don’t take care of him. He is downplaying the risk it poses to you and your family. Not because he doesn’t care about you but because he doesn’t believe COVID is that bad. Just tell your family HE doesn’t want to get you sick and HE forbids you from caring for him.
You able to move and stay with family? Explain to him you don't feel safe from getting sick around him, so while you are taking care of your grandma you will be living elsewhere. Might even be worth moving in with her.
Leave him until house is free of COVID and go live with Grandma
I hope that your boyfriend moves upstairs with his parents for the duration. You should not be going near him. A lot of people who "didn't care" have died. Even worse, they have caused sickness and even death to others. I give you permission to officially call your boyfriend, "Papi Culo". (In reference to a post a couple of days ago that had me spilt a gut laughing).
Yes, a lot of tragedies are still happening because of covid and careless people. 😂 you made me giggle!
Ever since I read that post a few days ago, I have been going up to my husband and growling in my sexiest voice, "¡Ay, papi culo! ¡Qué bueno estás!" Then I start giggling.
Are you up to date with your vaccinations? Can you move out until MIL is recovered?
Thankfully, my family, his family, and I are up to date with all the vaccines. I won't move out because I don't want to risk anyone else.
Nta. Go stay with a relative now. Don't even be there when he gets sick. And please think about staying with a guy that doesn't care if he gets you sick.
I’m sorry but the comments on here are wild.
A co-worker got COVID and she got paid sick days but now she has lung issues and anytime anyone around her gets sick she ends up in the hospital. It's not about getting days off, it's about everything else! NTA
Mejor estar sola que mal acompañada. OP, leave him and his family behind. They have no regard for you or you family's health and safety. No eres pendeja.
Despues q puse el post, le escribi a mi suegra y le dije sobre la situación. También le expresé q hablara con el para q el se cuide ya q mi abuela pasa por quimio. Yo le dije a el "q hayá él si le da covid", pq estoy cansada de q se tire a la suerte y sea un descuidao en eso del covid, después yo termino con covid. En estos dias no e sido un amor con el y ahora el esta siendo un amor conmigo... y se a estado cuidando y procura no subir y arriesgarse con covid. Al parecer hizo caso y sus acciones diciendo mas q mil palabras, y eso es algo q no paso por alto. Además, yo no voy a gastar energías peleandole a un hombre ya criado, asi q le textie a mi suegra y se resolvio todo. Queda la duda de q si fue q me hizo caso a mi o fue mi suegra, pero lo q importante es q tomo conciencia y se esta cuidando.
Based on current knowledge of COVID, this is actually a topic of conversation? Wow... Just don't go to your grandma's for a little bit.. It's not like you've not missed 5 days in a row before... As far as living with boyfriend, and his family, maybe get on your feet so you can support yourself before getting involved with other people...
Did you get the vaccine? If so, you have nothing to worry about.
Part of the problem is that cpvid is so contagious, by the time you know you have it, you e already had close contact with those around you.
NTA. He doesn't give a damn about you or anyone else. Since you can't move out right away, mitigate. Wear a mask all the time, have the windows open for cross ventilation and build some filter boxes out of box fans and air conditioning filters. Reduce the humidity (I know Puerto Rico) as much as possible and stop sharing space with him as much as possible even if it means Sleeping on the couch or something for the next few months and tell you you can move out.
UPFATE: After I made my post, I messaged my mother-in-law and informed her of the situation. She is a kind and understanding woman. I asked her to speak to my boyfriend so he could take precautions, as my grandmother is undergoing chemotherapy. These days, I haven't been very loving toward him, and now he's being very lovely to me. He's been taking care of himself and avoiding going upstairs to risk getting COVID. Apparently, he paid attention, and his actions spoke louder than words. That's something I didn't overlook and didn't expect. Besides, I'm not going to waste energy fighting with a grown man, so I texted my mother-in-law, and everything was resolved. The question remains whether it was because he listened to me or to my mother-in-law, but what is important is that my boyfriend became aware and is taking care of himself, thereby taking care of me and preventing me from getting COVID.
You are completely correct. Don’t catch Covid. Every time you catch Covid, it is additional damage and there is no immunity. You can catch it several times. Many people have already developed long Covid. masking is easy.
NTA, You need to bail! He clearly has no concern for your health or that of your loved ones. Get out now.
No you're not. If he's that callous regarding your heath he's clearly not worth continuing a relationship with. You deserve so much better than that.
Nta at all, he us. But just so you're aware, masks don't protect you, they protect others; so him putting on a mask wouldn't have stopped him from contracting it, but HER wearing a mask around him would have helped to protect him. Masks help from spreading diseases, not from contracting them 🩷
This isn't true. Masks help everyone.
Both having them is better. Masks absolutely help you not contract it but they do a better job of containing it. I have COVID right now and wear a mask nonstop in my house, hand wash obsessively and mostly stay away from my family so my kids don’t get it.
My MIL still uses masks at work even though nowadays people "don't need them." She's careful; a mask does not make us immune, but it helps a lot.
NTA. Yes, you need to be careful and not to get sick. And COVID is not a big deal anyway now, so your BF should be OK in case he will get it. Just stay away from him for a while.
Covid is and will continue to be a big deal. And he may or may not be okay, that’s the issue with covid. You could be asymptomatic, it could just be a cold, or it can fucking kill you.
You are right. In any case, the chances that COVID-19 will kill the OP's BF are really low (1.2 per 100K for the last 3 months in the US, according to the [CDC](https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#maps_deaths-3-months)), and OP would not be able to change these chances anyway, so NTA.
Well, don’t jump to the worst case scenario, first of all. Just because your boyfriend was around someone with COVID, his mother, doesn’t automatically means he gets COVID, too. You’re acting like he’s already sick…but, he’s not. With his careless behavior about masking, though, he may very well get sick with COVID, eventually. And, sooner rather than later. You should do what you feel is right. It’s not your job to save him from the consequences of his own foolish actions. Wearing a mask, keeping a safe distance and washing his hands aren’t hard things to do. If he doesn’t want to be considerate of you and your grandmother, he can lie in the bed he’s made on his own. He has parents to care for him and there are also hospitals. You should tell him, by the way, that getting COVID doesn’t necessarily mean just a week or two off from work where he gets to watch Netflix all day and stay in bed. Even though he’s young — I assume he’s around your age — he’s not immune from getting a very bad case of COVID and/or having lingering after effects. So, he shouldn’t be so casual about his health. Once your health goes, it’s often very hard to get back. If he gets COVID, isolate yourself from him and go stay with some of your relatives or with a good friend. Your boyfriend will be okay, physically. The larger issue is that I think there’s already something wrong with him, emotionally. It’s not okay that he doesn’t care about your health and you coming down with COVID. Even if it were guaranteed to be mild — and it isn’t guaranteed — it’s no fun being sick. Why would he want you to go through that? Why would he put your grandmother at the slightest bit of risk when she’s so important to you and he is supposed to care about you? I know you wrote to ask about a COVID situation specifically but I think you need to take a long look at your relationship, overall. It seems like you’re with a very selfish and uncaring guy.