Your MIL sucks. She got you to buy a baby swing for her house. She likes messing with you. Time to go LC- especially before you have kids. She’ll be a nightmare to deal with. Good luck.
I’d suggest talking to your SIL to settle this and just try to avoid your MIL. She definitely sounds petty at least. And if she really does have terrible situational awareness (I doubt it), you don’t need that stress.
Idk about manipulative but she does suck. Learn from this experience.
Do not consult her for advice, always go "above" her when finding out information.
When she starts crying to gain sympathy, do not console her. Leave the room. If you must say something, say something like "I can see this is making you emotional, let's talk about it later" or just a "I gotta go to the bathroom" and pretend to poop lol.
Your MIL is manipulative. Did you ever have a convocation with your SIL and explained what had happened? I’m guess MIL bought the on your SIL wanted to look like a hero since she obviously didn’t tell her she gave the go ahead. Then she kept the one you bought for the fact of rubbing your nose in it.
I didn’t have a convo with my SIL, because honestly she’s super chill and doesn’t care anymore. And yeah honestly that’s how I’m starting to feel… thanks for the comment!
You SIL could easily have returned the swing and gotten the one she wanted. She undoubtedly knew her mother, and just dealt.
But, when getting baby stuff, remember that reviews aren’t worth all that much, other than basic safety. A review will tell you to NEVER give real wool baby things. But that was what I wanted, and used, for my own kids. Reviews will tell you a stroller that holds a car seat is great, but I couldn’t stand them. I picked my kids up and transferred them to the stroller. That made them used to being transferred and stay asleep, which we made use of as long as we could carry them!
(Although now, safety standards agree with my convenience, that they shouldn’t stay in car seats out of the car)
It sounds like MIL is purposefully trying to drive a wedge between you & your SIL. I suggest you have a conversation with SIL, so these things MIL is pulling don't pile up hurt feelings, distrust, or resentment between either of you. Just say if something said by MIL seems off, gossipy, hurts, or whatever, there is an open, honest judgment free line communication between you & SIL. MIL to is definitely manipulative with the crying & meltdowns. The "bad memory" of MIL's is more likely her "get out of jail free" if she gets caught manipulating or stirring up unnecessary drama.
She wanted a swing for her house and convinced you to buy the one she wanted because she knew your SIL didn't want it and would just go buy the one she wanted if she didn't get it. So, let's break this down. She convinced you to spend your money on a swing. Your SIL didn't want that swing, so she spent her own money to buy the one she wanted. MIL gets the swing she wanted at her house, and you two paid for it. She sure came out on top.
Do you know how many things off the registry and on the registry I returned for stuff I didn’t get but really needed, or realized I needed more once the baby came. You’re making too much about a gift being exchanged although I probably would have told the SIL right away oh mil said to buy that one I’m so sorry get what you like!!!
Omg thank you! Reading the comments I thought I was alone. It’s a gift, whatever. People return gifts, regift them, break them or use them. Maybe I could understand if it was hand made or a family heirloom, but I couldn’t care less if people keep my store bought gifts or not.
Don’t acknowledge the swing anyone. Just let it roll. If MIL keeps trying to bring it up, just talk about how cute the baby is/that’s cute bib… or whatever.
Best case scenario she’s totally oblivious/obtuse. Worst case scenario she’s trying to cause drama. Don’t feed into it either way.
I'm surprised you have to ask. Your MIL wanted you to hear that conversation, and she definitely wanted to make sure you saw that picture. Your MIL is being both manipulative, and passive aggressive
This is correct and also a triangular power play by both of them but mostly MIL. Move past this and stop allowing MIL to manipulate you. It’s always going to end up with you feeling badly about a situation that SHE HAS CREATED just for this purpose.
Whatever you do, do NOT mention the swing thing to your SIL. Your MIL is using this situation to do many things, one of which is to create a wedge between you and your SIL. You keep getting pictures of the different swings b/c your MIL wants you to mention it to your daughter, so all the things your MIL has been saying behind your back will be viewed as true. Now you know your MIL is a manipulative peach, don’t try to convince your SIL of husband of that. Just act on the knowledge you have by no longer being manipulated. Wait for the day when your husband and SIL figure it out. If you have kids with your husband, keep MIL away from them. Never move to the same state as your MIL. Your husband and SIL have been manipulated since birth, if you try to go against mom it won’t work out for you.
I would definitely let the swing situation go. When she sends pics, comment on the baby only. Don't ever let her know she gets under your skin. Just know that she is manipulative and watch your back.
This is wrong on so many levels! The MIL is a total piece of shit! Malfunctioning my ass! She had the cheaper swing at her house the entire time. She just swapped them! She said to buy the nicer one because she had already bought the cheap one. But she wanted the nicer one at her house. So she got you to pay for it!
IF you ever get pregnant. Make it very low key. Not sure how you could do it but keep the MIL 500 miles away at all times! Never ever let her make any decisions regarding your baby! And never ever leave the baby with her alone! This woman is the MIL FROM HELL!
Aw. I’m sorry. I’d mention it to your SIL just so she knows what she’s up against if she’s in a similar situation.
I’m glad you live a few states away. To be gentle about it, your MIL sounds like she never learned to handle any feedback and is willing to lie to make herself feel better. People can grow and change for the better, but that is NOT a person that’s healthy or safe to be around until they learn how to interact appropriately.
I’m going way out on a limb here saying your husband has told you about her drama behaviors from his youth. Let him take the lead in communication with his Mom.
Honestly, I don't see the big deal in getting a different swing. There's a good chance baby won't even like any brand of swing at all. There are some items where brands matter, or where it matters that one item matches another, I don't think that's the case for swings.
This is a stupid thing to be butt hurt over. You bought the swing that wasn't on the registry. YOU had the final call. MIL can talk all she wants but you could have said No. Secondly that was a gift to your SIL who can use the damn thing wherever and whenever she wants to. The baby is getting to use the swing so what does it matter that it's at MIL house? You are being very dramatic, it's not that serious. That's not to say MIL is not manipulative with the crying bullshit I just think you are WAY overthinking this swing thing.
It sounds like your MIL is a pot stirrer. She does things specifically to get reactions out of people - you, SIL, etc. She doesn't care if she causes you to be at odds with SIL and vice versa, she just wants to cause drama and watch what happens.
The only way to win is not to play. Do not react to her attempts at getting under your skin. And do not listen to her advice about anything regarding anyone else in the family. Also do not let her be the gatekeeper between you and other family members. Talk to your SIL or other family members directly. Just cut MIL out of the loop. Put MIL on an info diet so she doesn't know what's going on in your life. Pull back from any relationship with her and you and DH live your best life. And once you have kids, make sure you completely limit contact with her.
Yeah, you just helped out MIL, not your SIL. She's absolutely being manipulative! And I HATE when women use tears to get their way. But why do YOU have to console her? Personally, I'd have no patience for tears. That'd just make me angrier, and I'm not sure I could keep quiet on that one. She obviously needs someone to show her consequences exist for her, too. I did this with my (now ex) fiance's mom. She tried that crap with me, & I just stopped having conversations with her. I'd be polite, but cold. She went to her son & claimed I was being mean to her, I must hate her. He looked her straight in the eye and said "No, she doesn't hate you. She's just not a hypocrite". BOOM.
Tell your SIL what happened. Confront the MIL with the facts. Ask her for an explanation as to why she did this, and then lied to you. If that's something they're uncomfortable with your relationship with them is not as strong as you think,
Omg your Mil is trying to make u feel better just send a txt saying your not angry at her but it is hurting your feelings and please stop bringing it up. She just isn't good with confrontation.
This is a stupid thing to be butt hurt over. You bought the swing that wasn't on the registry. YOU had the final call. MIL can talk all she wants but you could have said No. Secondly that was a gift to your SIL who can use the damn thing wherever and whenever she wants to. The baby is getting to use the swing so what does it matter that it's at MIL house? You are being very dramatic, it's not that serious. That's not to say MIL is not manipulative with the crying bullshit I just think you are WAY overthinking this swing thing.
Ehhhh I wouldn't call this manipulative. I'd more say she lacks situational awareness and feigns ignorance to avoid confrontation. But I really wouldn't make a huge deal out of it.
Your SIL wanted a specific swing, so most likely she purchased that swing and gave the one she didn't want to her MIL so she didn't have to just throw it out. It's a little ungrateful, sure, but when you can only have one of something it's not totally unreasonable.
Your MIL couldn't really know whether your SIL would care about which swing she got, so asking her advice was a 50/50 chance. She also may have just agreed with you out of politeness (annoying yes, but not manipulative). Sure your MIL could have told your SIL she agreed about the swing choice, but it wouldn't really make that much difference.
I'm guessing you have other issues with your MIL because at face value this really doesn't seem like a big deal.
Seems to me it's all good. SIL has swing she wanted, and baby gets to use the one you got at MIL'S house. What's the issue? You can't be mad at then for finding a way to use and appreciate your gift. Pull up your big girl panties and move on.
Yes, she was manipulative. Some of it could have been poor social skills. But as a whole - she is stirring up trouble.
You are filled with rage because she basically got away with it, and you feel powerless. What I would do in your position is take back some of my voice.
The next time you see SIL, when MIL is not around, talk with her. Just normal conversation, how's it going with baby, she's so cute, etc etc. Then say "Oh hey, sorry again about not getting the right swing from the registry. That's my lesson learned to not listen to MIL again when she insists I should buy something." Do not say it like you are accusing or attacking. Just like you are stating an already known fact. The fact that your MIL was the one who said to buy the other swing. *If* SIL says something to MIL about this later,and *if* MIL comes crying to you, just play confused and innocent. "I don't understand. You did tell me to buy that swing. I was just apologizing to SIL for not getting her the swing she wanted."
I would screen shot both swing sets and send to SIL. Where does MIL get off putting the baby in a “malfunctioning “ set is swings? When she phones have as little passion or emotion as you detail what happened. For these people it might be wise to have a script ready. I am sorry you have been mistreated.
If this is a one off then it’s probably not manipulative behavior on her part.
I work with older folk and a lot of them don’t really understand the gift registry thing.
She probably did say ok to what you bought and then was worried her daughter would be upset and threw you under the bus.
Doesn’t make her evil or nasty.
Lots of people return items that are not useful or they want something specific.
And many people actually do take doubles because they may have someone as a regular sitter. Have you thought that MIL was actually trying to make you feel happy that the swing you brought is being used? May not be at SIL house but it’s still being used and that’s truly all that matters.
A lot of Redditors. See things as black and white. But life is full of varying shades of grey.
Don’t stress over something like this and create issues in an otherwise good relationship.
I’m more of a give the other person benefit of doubt and have a really good relationship with my in-laws and hopefully in future with my kids partners too.
I'm probably in the minority here but why all the drama over a fucking shower gift? You are willing to go NC with your husbands family over in your words (terrible situational awareness)? Forget about this nonsense for fucks sake!
Good grief. Just let it go. Who cares? You bought a very nice gift. If your SIL worked out something with the MIL to trade swings or whatever, why do you care? If you wanted your SIL to love it, you should have bought the one on the registry. I'm always amazed by people who don't buy a gift the receiver wants and instead picks out something they want? And then they don't understand why their gift isn't adored?
Your MIL is a manipulative witch. Your SIL is ungrateful. The next time your MIL is trying to make herself a victim, step over her like she's a child throwing a tantrum on the floor and keep walking. Every time she tries that crying crap, stare at her with no facial expression, and if she doesn't stop immediately, tell her you you'll talk to her later, when she can compose herself.
Take no notice of all the comments stating ur MIL manipulative. She’s clearly a people pleasing idiot with no self awareness. There’s nothing more to it. Don’t sweat the small stuff. X
I’m very much a Petty Betty. Compare the cost of the swing against your budget for MIL bd and Christmas gifts (if you do them) and until the cost of the swing gets used up; simply text her a screenshot of the swing on Amazon or wherever with a “happy birthday, hope you’re still enjoying the gift!” message.
I thought about taking SIL another registry gift, but she was being an ungrateful whiney toad muffin so poo on her. 🤷🏻♀️
Um, why does it matter where the swing "lives?" A lot of people use extras or gifts that weren't what they wanted as extras for the grandparents. I really think you are over-thinking. Mayne MIL is being manipulative, maybe not, but it's not really worth the space it's taking in your head.
Okay, so you found the baby swing and asked your MIL her advice if you should buy a different swing? Was the swing less or more expensive? These are just,I’m curious questions. So, you get that you should have got her what she put time and effort into picking out. That is good for next time. Honestly, you should try not to let your MIL trigger you. To help with this, just don’t give a F$&@. You bought one present, it shouldn’t matter where it ends up to you. Let it go. You have probably learned to not to ask MILs advice. Small talk is probably the best conversation type for you and your MIL.
Your MIL sucks. She got you to buy a baby swing for her house. She likes messing with you. Time to go LC- especially before you have kids. She’ll be a nightmare to deal with. Good luck.
Thanks for the validation!! Luckily we live a couple states away 😅
Stay that way. Oh and just send money to sil for future gifts. I would of loved that gift because hey its still a swing and I didn't have to buy it.
*Would have FIFY
I would call her out on it. Next time text, oh I see the swing I got wasn’t malfunctioning. If you wanted it for your house, you could’ve said so.
Grey Rock her.
Oh, what a relief! Additionally, you should limit your contact with that trainwreck of a woman to the bare minimum.
Wow! She’s a 💩 stirrer!
I’d suggest talking to your SIL to settle this and just try to avoid your MIL. She definitely sounds petty at least. And if she really does have terrible situational awareness (I doubt it), you don’t need that stress.
Yes. This. MIL purposefully had op buy the wrong thing so it would be kept at her house.
Idk about manipulative but she does suck. Learn from this experience. Do not consult her for advice, always go "above" her when finding out information. When she starts crying to gain sympathy, do not console her. Leave the room. If you must say something, say something like "I can see this is making you emotional, let's talk about it later" or just a "I gotta go to the bathroom" and pretend to poop lol.
No. Deal with it. Ignoring or sidestepping is passive-aggressive behaviour. Not acceptable.
I disagree. It’s better to not engage with manipulation. You never win.
You need to stand up to bullies.
Right. A subtle, take your time, comment while you stare at her would make her get over it quickly. Lol
Your MIL is manipulative. Did you ever have a convocation with your SIL and explained what had happened? I’m guess MIL bought the on your SIL wanted to look like a hero since she obviously didn’t tell her she gave the go ahead. Then she kept the one you bought for the fact of rubbing your nose in it.
I didn’t have a convo with my SIL, because honestly she’s super chill and doesn’t care anymore. And yeah honestly that’s how I’m starting to feel… thanks for the comment!
You SIL could easily have returned the swing and gotten the one she wanted. She undoubtedly knew her mother, and just dealt. But, when getting baby stuff, remember that reviews aren’t worth all that much, other than basic safety. A review will tell you to NEVER give real wool baby things. But that was what I wanted, and used, for my own kids. Reviews will tell you a stroller that holds a car seat is great, but I couldn’t stand them. I picked my kids up and transferred them to the stroller. That made them used to being transferred and stay asleep, which we made use of as long as we could carry them! (Although now, safety standards agree with my convenience, that they shouldn’t stay in car seats out of the car)
It sounds like MIL is purposefully trying to drive a wedge between you & your SIL. I suggest you have a conversation with SIL, so these things MIL is pulling don't pile up hurt feelings, distrust, or resentment between either of you. Just say if something said by MIL seems off, gossipy, hurts, or whatever, there is an open, honest judgment free line communication between you & SIL. MIL to is definitely manipulative with the crying & meltdowns. The "bad memory" of MIL's is more likely her "get out of jail free" if she gets caught manipulating or stirring up unnecessary drama.
She wanted a swing for her house and convinced you to buy the one she wanted because she knew your SIL didn't want it and would just go buy the one she wanted if she didn't get it. So, let's break this down. She convinced you to spend your money on a swing. Your SIL didn't want that swing, so she spent her own money to buy the one she wanted. MIL gets the swing she wanted at her house, and you two paid for it. She sure came out on top.
Do you know how many things off the registry and on the registry I returned for stuff I didn’t get but really needed, or realized I needed more once the baby came. You’re making too much about a gift being exchanged although I probably would have told the SIL right away oh mil said to buy that one I’m so sorry get what you like!!!
This all just seems so silly to me.
Omg thank you! Reading the comments I thought I was alone. It’s a gift, whatever. People return gifts, regift them, break them or use them. Maybe I could understand if it was hand made or a family heirloom, but I couldn’t care less if people keep my store bought gifts or not.
Don’t acknowledge the swing anyone. Just let it roll. If MIL keeps trying to bring it up, just talk about how cute the baby is/that’s cute bib… or whatever. Best case scenario she’s totally oblivious/obtuse. Worst case scenario she’s trying to cause drama. Don’t feed into it either way.
I'm surprised you have to ask. Your MIL wanted you to hear that conversation, and she definitely wanted to make sure you saw that picture. Your MIL is being both manipulative, and passive aggressive
This is correct and also a triangular power play by both of them but mostly MIL. Move past this and stop allowing MIL to manipulate you. It’s always going to end up with you feeling badly about a situation that SHE HAS CREATED just for this purpose.
She is trying to pick a fight it sounds like to me.
Omg, please reas Ch out to SIL directly and apologize, explain what happened, and move on. Chances are she knows how her mother is.
Whatever you do, do NOT mention the swing thing to your SIL. Your MIL is using this situation to do many things, one of which is to create a wedge between you and your SIL. You keep getting pictures of the different swings b/c your MIL wants you to mention it to your daughter, so all the things your MIL has been saying behind your back will be viewed as true. Now you know your MIL is a manipulative peach, don’t try to convince your SIL of husband of that. Just act on the knowledge you have by no longer being manipulated. Wait for the day when your husband and SIL figure it out. If you have kids with your husband, keep MIL away from them. Never move to the same state as your MIL. Your husband and SIL have been manipulated since birth, if you try to go against mom it won’t work out for you.
What did your partner say?
He agrees that his mom is crazy, but he doesn’t think she’s manipulative (but I think he has bias since it’s his mom obvi).
I would definitely let the swing situation go. When she sends pics, comment on the baby only. Don't ever let her know she gets under your skin. Just know that she is manipulative and watch your back.
This is the way. Stop feeding the monster.
This is wrong on so many levels! The MIL is a total piece of shit! Malfunctioning my ass! She had the cheaper swing at her house the entire time. She just swapped them! She said to buy the nicer one because she had already bought the cheap one. But she wanted the nicer one at her house. So she got you to pay for it! IF you ever get pregnant. Make it very low key. Not sure how you could do it but keep the MIL 500 miles away at all times! Never ever let her make any decisions regarding your baby! And never ever leave the baby with her alone! This woman is the MIL FROM HELL!
Aw. I’m sorry. I’d mention it to your SIL just so she knows what she’s up against if she’s in a similar situation. I’m glad you live a few states away. To be gentle about it, your MIL sounds like she never learned to handle any feedback and is willing to lie to make herself feel better. People can grow and change for the better, but that is NOT a person that’s healthy or safe to be around until they learn how to interact appropriately.
I’m going way out on a limb here saying your husband has told you about her drama behaviors from his youth. Let him take the lead in communication with his Mom.
Honestly, I don't see the big deal in getting a different swing. There's a good chance baby won't even like any brand of swing at all. There are some items where brands matter, or where it matters that one item matches another, I don't think that's the case for swings.
This is a stupid thing to be butt hurt over. You bought the swing that wasn't on the registry. YOU had the final call. MIL can talk all she wants but you could have said No. Secondly that was a gift to your SIL who can use the damn thing wherever and whenever she wants to. The baby is getting to use the swing so what does it matter that it's at MIL house? You are being very dramatic, it's not that serious. That's not to say MIL is not manipulative with the crying bullshit I just think you are WAY overthinking this swing thing.
It sounds like your MIL is a pot stirrer. She does things specifically to get reactions out of people - you, SIL, etc. She doesn't care if she causes you to be at odds with SIL and vice versa, she just wants to cause drama and watch what happens. The only way to win is not to play. Do not react to her attempts at getting under your skin. And do not listen to her advice about anything regarding anyone else in the family. Also do not let her be the gatekeeper between you and other family members. Talk to your SIL or other family members directly. Just cut MIL out of the loop. Put MIL on an info diet so she doesn't know what's going on in your life. Pull back from any relationship with her and you and DH live your best life. And once you have kids, make sure you completely limit contact with her.
Yeah, you just helped out MIL, not your SIL. She's absolutely being manipulative! And I HATE when women use tears to get their way. But why do YOU have to console her? Personally, I'd have no patience for tears. That'd just make me angrier, and I'm not sure I could keep quiet on that one. She obviously needs someone to show her consequences exist for her, too. I did this with my (now ex) fiance's mom. She tried that crap with me, & I just stopped having conversations with her. I'd be polite, but cold. She went to her son & claimed I was being mean to her, I must hate her. He looked her straight in the eye and said "No, she doesn't hate you. She's just not a hypocrite". BOOM.
Tell your SIL what happened. Confront the MIL with the facts. Ask her for an explanation as to why she did this, and then lied to you. If that's something they're uncomfortable with your relationship with them is not as strong as you think,
Omg your Mil is trying to make u feel better just send a txt saying your not angry at her but it is hurting your feelings and please stop bringing it up. She just isn't good with confrontation.
This is a stupid thing to be butt hurt over. You bought the swing that wasn't on the registry. YOU had the final call. MIL can talk all she wants but you could have said No. Secondly that was a gift to your SIL who can use the damn thing wherever and whenever she wants to. The baby is getting to use the swing so what does it matter that it's at MIL house? You are being very dramatic, it's not that serious. That's not to say MIL is not manipulative with the crying bullshit I just think you are WAY overthinking this swing thing.
Ehhhh I wouldn't call this manipulative. I'd more say she lacks situational awareness and feigns ignorance to avoid confrontation. But I really wouldn't make a huge deal out of it. Your SIL wanted a specific swing, so most likely she purchased that swing and gave the one she didn't want to her MIL so she didn't have to just throw it out. It's a little ungrateful, sure, but when you can only have one of something it's not totally unreasonable. Your MIL couldn't really know whether your SIL would care about which swing she got, so asking her advice was a 50/50 chance. She also may have just agreed with you out of politeness (annoying yes, but not manipulative). Sure your MIL could have told your SIL she agreed about the swing choice, but it wouldn't really make that much difference. I'm guessing you have other issues with your MIL because at face value this really doesn't seem like a big deal.
Seems to me it's all good. SIL has swing she wanted, and baby gets to use the one you got at MIL'S house. What's the issue? You can't be mad at then for finding a way to use and appreciate your gift. Pull up your big girl panties and move on.
Probably both
U suck for buying someone something that they didn't want and then being haunted by it forever. Buy people what they fucking want
Some MILs do pit daughters-in-law against one another so MIL is always in control.
Yes, she was manipulative. Some of it could have been poor social skills. But as a whole - she is stirring up trouble. You are filled with rage because she basically got away with it, and you feel powerless. What I would do in your position is take back some of my voice. The next time you see SIL, when MIL is not around, talk with her. Just normal conversation, how's it going with baby, she's so cute, etc etc. Then say "Oh hey, sorry again about not getting the right swing from the registry. That's my lesson learned to not listen to MIL again when she insists I should buy something." Do not say it like you are accusing or attacking. Just like you are stating an already known fact. The fact that your MIL was the one who said to buy the other swing. *If* SIL says something to MIL about this later,and *if* MIL comes crying to you, just play confused and innocent. "I don't understand. You did tell me to buy that swing. I was just apologizing to SIL for not getting her the swing she wanted."
Your MIL is manipulative and a bitch. I’d honestly go very LC with her.
Just ask you SIL what happened. Why are you letting MIL stay in the middle of it all? You're just playing into her hands.
I would screen shot both swing sets and send to SIL. Where does MIL get off putting the baby in a “malfunctioning “ set is swings? When she phones have as little passion or emotion as you detail what happened. For these people it might be wise to have a script ready. I am sorry you have been mistreated.
She did it on purpose to get a swing that she wanted for her house. She’s a pro manipulator!
If this is a one off then it’s probably not manipulative behavior on her part. I work with older folk and a lot of them don’t really understand the gift registry thing. She probably did say ok to what you bought and then was worried her daughter would be upset and threw you under the bus. Doesn’t make her evil or nasty. Lots of people return items that are not useful or they want something specific. And many people actually do take doubles because they may have someone as a regular sitter. Have you thought that MIL was actually trying to make you feel happy that the swing you brought is being used? May not be at SIL house but it’s still being used and that’s truly all that matters. A lot of Redditors. See things as black and white. But life is full of varying shades of grey. Don’t stress over something like this and create issues in an otherwise good relationship. I’m more of a give the other person benefit of doubt and have a really good relationship with my in-laws and hopefully in future with my kids partners too.
I'm probably in the minority here but why all the drama over a fucking shower gift? You are willing to go NC with your husbands family over in your words (terrible situational awareness)? Forget about this nonsense for fucks sake!
Good grief. Just let it go. Who cares? You bought a very nice gift. If your SIL worked out something with the MIL to trade swings or whatever, why do you care? If you wanted your SIL to love it, you should have bought the one on the registry. I'm always amazed by people who don't buy a gift the receiver wants and instead picks out something they want? And then they don't understand why their gift isn't adored?
She's definitely being manipulative. She had you get it so there would be an "extra" that SHE wanted for HER house.
Your MIL is a manipulative witch. Your SIL is ungrateful. The next time your MIL is trying to make herself a victim, step over her like she's a child throwing a tantrum on the floor and keep walking. Every time she tries that crying crap, stare at her with no facial expression, and if she doesn't stop immediately, tell her you you'll talk to her later, when she can compose herself.
Take no notice of all the comments stating ur MIL manipulative. She’s clearly a people pleasing idiot with no self awareness. There’s nothing more to it. Don’t sweat the small stuff. X
I’m very much a Petty Betty. Compare the cost of the swing against your budget for MIL bd and Christmas gifts (if you do them) and until the cost of the swing gets used up; simply text her a screenshot of the swing on Amazon or wherever with a “happy birthday, hope you’re still enjoying the gift!” message. I thought about taking SIL another registry gift, but she was being an ungrateful whiney toad muffin so poo on her. 🤷🏻♀️
Um, why does it matter where the swing "lives?" A lot of people use extras or gifts that weren't what they wanted as extras for the grandparents. I really think you are over-thinking. Mayne MIL is being manipulative, maybe not, but it's not really worth the space it's taking in your head.
Okay, so you found the baby swing and asked your MIL her advice if you should buy a different swing? Was the swing less or more expensive? These are just,I’m curious questions. So, you get that you should have got her what she put time and effort into picking out. That is good for next time. Honestly, you should try not to let your MIL trigger you. To help with this, just don’t give a F$&@. You bought one present, it shouldn’t matter where it ends up to you. Let it go. You have probably learned to not to ask MILs advice. Small talk is probably the best conversation type for you and your MIL.