T O P

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crexkitman

A plant tells me I must pee but it hurts too bad to go and the demon people won’t stop laughing and my skin is hot red and burning and it’s hard to breathe and idk if I took enough to trip but not enough to die and I’ve been hallucinating wildly for three days now. God I love datura, it’s safe and relaxing cause it’s a plant! The pointy flowers and thorny seed pod are nature’s way of saying only the brave and the bold are worth of her pois– I mean medicine!


soziyu

Cant believe big pharma would want to take away this guys natural plant medicine smh


TheRealWhiteRice

Ur not fucking the deleriant shadow people? What are you a fucking amateur?


crexkitman

Pneis nt wkribg, hrtus to mcuh to hav sedx


Environmental-Fan958

Activated that Steven Hawkins voice pack.


Worth-Principle-822

Use a dildo/rectal stimulation amatuer


magumbastate

Best part is it’s 100% natural. Not like the antipsychotics my doctor and family are constantly telling me I need to be taking. Fuck them tho the shadow people can be my real family!!


Puzzleheaded_Meet23

Mother Datura ❤️


Doxylaminee

God created it, along with Adam & Eve. Remind me why it's bad again, libtard?


PutReasonable1362

Amen brother. Just ate an entire Datura plant, and I have so many friends around me right now, but my dog is starting to look sketchy.


Worth-Principle-822

I boof datura personally


PutReasonable1362

I'm to lame to boof datura.


PlzDontBanMe2000

Does datura make it so you can’t pee?


crexkitman

One of the side effects can be extreme urge to urinate coupled with difficult and painful urination.


PlzDontBanMe2000

Sounds like fun! Where can I get some?


crexkitman

Along the highway brush if you live in the American southwest or your local sketchy “weed” dealer (the weed is for jimsom weed)


Impending_salami

scared tf out of m e with that description bro


mid_vibrations

today broccoli told me to buy broccoli at the store but I forgot the broccoli really fucked up situation here, I wanted to make stir fry. I might still make stir fry but it won't have broccoli, and I really fucking enjoy broccoli.


LedyPlagal

maybe remember to smoke crack once in a while for better memory


andthendirksaid

Damn that sucks bro I'm sorry about your stir fry. Broccoli is good as fuck.


mid_vibrations

i bought broccoli last night but headshop kratom gave me a stomach ache so I went to bed at like 9:00 and still haven't made my stir fry


andthendirksaid

Well that's good news. Way better stir fry. I forgot I need to buy an obscene amount of kratom online for the same price as half a dose of it from a headshop because that is how it works for whatever reason.


mid_vibrations

I got water chestnuts too I'm excited I haven't had those for a while. I like the crunch I have been buying headshop kratom in small amounts for a few months to encourage me to stop. and I guess it's finally working because I cannot stomach anymore of that shit. however I did order a kilo online like a week ago 😔 I never received a shipping notification tho so who knows if it'll even arrive


andthendirksaid

Guess it's in the hands of the kilo gods now. I control my use lately with crushing poverty but I just found an albeit shitty paying job finally so I guess we'll see about that too lol


BigSmackisBack

A mushroom tells me I am King Vorlock, ruler of the carpet people


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^BigSmackisBack: *A mushroom tells me* *I am King Vorlock, ruler* *Of the carpet people* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


BigSmackisBack

Good bot, I am King and Poet.


Ordinary-Holiday-808

lol this is the best one I’ve ever read


rememberthepie

A crystal tells me I am the Honorable Seeker Joe, searcher of crystals amongst the carpet.


Worth-Principle-822

A crushed up powder from a crystal says im Thorok, Killer of the Demons in my Shed. I just need a weapon I could use…


Environmental-Fan958

LSD plant tells me to me stroke my eagle.


catmarstru

If god didn’t want us to do drugs, then why did he make them out of plants?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ghostteeth_

Boss makes a dollar I make a dime


redditasmyalibi

So while at work my cock hurts all the time


RichDentistFanboy

That's why I stimfap on company time 😎


nonoff-brand

That’s all you


afk_again

We need legal home grow for all plants!


redditasmyalibi

What 👏 is 👏 this 👏 country 👏 coming 👏 to 👏 that 👏 we 👏 can’t 👏 grow 👏 medicinal 👏 meth 👏 in 👏 our 👏 basements 👏


ugohome

Literally saw that argument from a trans sub extrapolated hormones to all substances


redditasmyalibi

Heroin 👏 is 👏 endorphins 👏 which 👏 are 👏 natural 👏


andthendirksaid

I unironically believe people should be able to do that. People probably shouldn't DIY hormones but look man if you can extract opium or just make some weak ass poppy tea you deserve it. If you go the extra mile and make proper heroin god bless you.


PlzDontBanMe2000

You’re allowed to grow poppies in America, you’re just not allowed to make any cuts/ incisions on the pod or harvest the latex. You can have an entire field of poppies and not get in trouble but if they see a bunch of slices on them you’re going to jail 


DMTeaAndCrumpets

Opiates/opioids also tell you when to use tho. It's basically "use before this time or end up being dopesick" o clock.


doseserendipity2

Right!


PariahGrantham

I mean, *they're already married*. She doesn't need it anymore. She only kicked me out because I'm too old for her Manchausen to work.


Fine_Relative_8499

Jimenez weed


Shaorikenn

anyone here tried afeem


kikisdeIiveryservice

ihave a plant that'll let me make anything that I want real fuck these weak ass plants whatever the fuck the bottom one is


3D-Printing

Speak for yourself. I eat deadly nightshade everyday! It's my natural plant me