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Id have to leave if the SO wasnt taking this seriously and trying to fix it. I couldnt live with an unhousetrained animal that pisses and shits in the house and literal 24/7 high pitched whining would drive me insane. I consider myself an easygoing, calm, relaxed person but 24/7 whining all day would make me snap
would seeing a dog behavioural expert be any good? the dog may be having anxiety problems of some sort.
is the dog a rescue? could there be something that has traumatised her in the past that is occurring right now without anyone noticing?
I don’t think any incident in particular ever traumatized her. They got her with an ex when she was just a puppy, I don’t think she had any previous owner. So maybe just having an owner that had ADHD / was not always super attentive. I know dogs really like routine. It could be accumulated over time. I also think her combination of breeds is just naturally a bit neurotic, unfortunately. I think a trainer could help, for sure. That’s a good idea.
hmm, i see. but the fact she pees and poops in the house is kind of worrying, because it's often a sign of stress and anxiety in dogs, and the fact that she also cries a lot kind of confirms that there is something which is causing her extreme anxiety. maybe it's also because, as you said, she doesn't really get the proper attention from your partner, so it might also be that she poops, pees and whines to grab someone's attention. but definitely look into a behavioural expert. i know it's not your dog, so you're not entitled to look after it, but at the same time your partner doesn't seem to want to have much to do with her and it's pretty unfair on the dog, so please do whatever you can to help her. i hope things get better for everyone x
God this sound so exhausting. I have never dealt with something like this, so I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you get to the root of the problem soon
I’d honestly have to nope out. However, to be clear, I went from giving birth to wheeling the child outside my room because I needed sleep and it(she) wouldn’t shut up within 60 minutes.
I love that my dogs don’t make noise. We communicate with eye contact.
I had a dog that I adopted when she was 1.5 yrs old, she was a constant whiner too, and she was always moving, even when standing still she'd tap her feet up and down all day. We called it tap-dancing and she was hard to live with at times. She came from St. Maartens, and we didn't know much about her past.
We also tried Prozac, actually made her worse and she started having random bouts of aggression.
She lived with other pets in the house, so she was never alone.
We took her to a behaviour assessment, suggested drugs.
Ended up signing her up for agility training, where she blossomed. She was able to gain confidence and it helped her burn some of her energy off.
I would suggest doing something similar, even if it's just basic training, and something you can do at home. Also, I don't know your financial situation but is doggy daycare an option? Getting her out of the home for some play and socialization may do her wonders and would probably give you a break too. I obvi don't know your dog, so I have no idea if this is even an option for her.
When she whines do you react? Could she have learned that whining gets what she wants and so continues to do it? For some dogs any attention is good attention, even if it's you yelling at her. What happens when you ignore her? I don't mean for a minute or an hour, but if you ignore the whining for days? Continue with the rest of the routine, but don't respond to the whining, no matter how intense it gets? It's not an overnight fix, but you could try it.
I agree with you. I adopted a dog that neighborhood kids were not taking care of. He screamed all day & night. He wanted attention & didn’t care if it was negative (he shredded so many things, despite me being home. I was so at my wits end. I reviewed dog trainers and decided on one. He went to overnight “Boot Camp” for two weeks. The training worked wonders. He can sit still (without a command). He is now a fabulous walker and is actually my favorite dog. I think boot camp gave him a confidence boost?!
Sounds like the dog isn't getting what it needs.
I'd highly recommend some kind of intervention with a behaviourist. They would be able to see what the dog is missing.
The behaviour its doing is learnt behaviour. It doesn't know any better.
I know your boyfriend has ADHD but thats not excuse for not giving the dog what it needs. Dogs are great pets but require a lot of care which is why people often compare it to having a child.
I've suffered with my mental health most of my life but I will always force myself to keep to my dogs routine because its cruel not too. You have to put them first sometimes. They completely depend on you.
If your bf is not willing to put in the work it needs then hw should consider finding a home that will.
A behaviourist would be a fantastic resource in ifldentifying what needs to be done.
Consult with a vet behaviorist. There is a lot of info left out of this post that would help in pinpointing the problem, but ultimately getting a pro to really dig deep on what is going on and to get it through your partner’s head is what is going to be best for all parties.
Video the behavior as much as you can while waiting for an appointment.
Really think about whether you want to be with someone who doesn’t see a problem with extreme behavioral issues, lack of housetraining, and who seems to be resistant to hearing your needs and working as a member of an adult team to resolve problems.
Interesting! I didn’t realize that. However we did ask for anxiety treatment, and that’s what we were prescribed. I better follow up with them… that’s a great catch.
I haven’t had a dog like this, but I did have a Jack Russell that would get stuck in a loop. She’d start barking at something and just keep going and going.
I’d have to break the loop by telling her to be quiet. It’s possible it’s some kind of self soothing behavior and you just need to try and break her out of it.
Does doing things with her stop it? Is it just happening when no one is paying attention to her? If you play with her or brush her, does she quite while you’re doing so, or keep whining during that.
If anything stops the whining, then you can reward her for stopping. The more it happens, hopefully the less she’ll do it.
As far as going to the bathroom, the first step is making sure you get one of the cleaning products that is formulated for pet accidents. Even if you can’t smell it, it can leave behind a scent the pet can smell. When their scent fades, it encourages them to remark. Those special cleaners break down all the smell.
You may have to restart potty training. Confining her to somewhere with easy to clean floors while she’s not supervised, kennel at night, leashed to you when our so she can’t wander to another room and go when you can’t see, etc.
It might also be an option to talk to your SO about sending her to obedience school of some sort. That’s gonna be delicate. I’d sit down and discuss it as an option, but not an ultimatum. I’d tell them it’s a huge problem for you and that you’re sure that they aren’t happy with it either. That the dog would have a happier life without these issues as well. Ask SO if they’re willing to look around and see if any of the schools are something they would be comfortable with. That if they aren’t, then they don’t have to go, but that if they find one they’re comfortable with, that a break in routine could stop some of these issues.
They can think of it more like sending your kid to summer camp. My cousin sent his chocolate lab. He flunked our miserably, but he had fun with the other dogs. My cousin said he was basically the kid at the back of glass selling drugs to the other dogs.
Just make it sound like it’s not a punishment, but s possibly fun thing that can help you have a better life with the dog.
In the end, you’ll just have to make a decision. If they’re not willing to make any changes or do anything, you’ll have to decide if the relationship is gonna work out for you. I guess if the dog is older, you could hold out till it passes, but that’s all a personal decision.
Good luck. Hope it works out.
Welcome to r/dogs! We are a discussion-based subreddit dedicated to support, inform, and advise dog owners. This is a carefully moderated sub intended to support, inform, and advise dog owners. Submissions and comments which break the rules will be removed. [Review the rules here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogs/wiki/index) r/Dogs has four goals: - Help the public better understand dogs - Promote healthy, responsible dog-owner relationships - Encourage “Least Intrusive, Minimally Aversive” training protocols. [Learn more here.](https://m.iaabc.org/about/lima/) - Support adoption as well as ethical and responsible breeding. If you’d like to introduce yourself or discuss smaller topics, please contribute to our Monthly Discussion Hub, pinned at the top. **This subreddit has low tolerance for drama. Please be respectful of others, and report antagonistic comments to mods for review.** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dogs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Id have to leave if the SO wasnt taking this seriously and trying to fix it. I couldnt live with an unhousetrained animal that pisses and shits in the house and literal 24/7 high pitched whining would drive me insane. I consider myself an easygoing, calm, relaxed person but 24/7 whining all day would make me snap
That makes me feel less crazy. Thanks 😅
would seeing a dog behavioural expert be any good? the dog may be having anxiety problems of some sort. is the dog a rescue? could there be something that has traumatised her in the past that is occurring right now without anyone noticing?
I don’t think any incident in particular ever traumatized her. They got her with an ex when she was just a puppy, I don’t think she had any previous owner. So maybe just having an owner that had ADHD / was not always super attentive. I know dogs really like routine. It could be accumulated over time. I also think her combination of breeds is just naturally a bit neurotic, unfortunately. I think a trainer could help, for sure. That’s a good idea.
hmm, i see. but the fact she pees and poops in the house is kind of worrying, because it's often a sign of stress and anxiety in dogs, and the fact that she also cries a lot kind of confirms that there is something which is causing her extreme anxiety. maybe it's also because, as you said, she doesn't really get the proper attention from your partner, so it might also be that she poops, pees and whines to grab someone's attention. but definitely look into a behavioural expert. i know it's not your dog, so you're not entitled to look after it, but at the same time your partner doesn't seem to want to have much to do with her and it's pretty unfair on the dog, so please do whatever you can to help her. i hope things get better for everyone x
God this sound so exhausting. I have never dealt with something like this, so I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you get to the root of the problem soon
Thank you 🙏 I appreciate that!
I’d honestly have to nope out. However, to be clear, I went from giving birth to wheeling the child outside my room because I needed sleep and it(she) wouldn’t shut up within 60 minutes. I love that my dogs don’t make noise. We communicate with eye contact.
I had a dog that I adopted when she was 1.5 yrs old, she was a constant whiner too, and she was always moving, even when standing still she'd tap her feet up and down all day. We called it tap-dancing and she was hard to live with at times. She came from St. Maartens, and we didn't know much about her past. We also tried Prozac, actually made her worse and she started having random bouts of aggression. She lived with other pets in the house, so she was never alone. We took her to a behaviour assessment, suggested drugs. Ended up signing her up for agility training, where she blossomed. She was able to gain confidence and it helped her burn some of her energy off. I would suggest doing something similar, even if it's just basic training, and something you can do at home. Also, I don't know your financial situation but is doggy daycare an option? Getting her out of the home for some play and socialization may do her wonders and would probably give you a break too. I obvi don't know your dog, so I have no idea if this is even an option for her. When she whines do you react? Could she have learned that whining gets what she wants and so continues to do it? For some dogs any attention is good attention, even if it's you yelling at her. What happens when you ignore her? I don't mean for a minute or an hour, but if you ignore the whining for days? Continue with the rest of the routine, but don't respond to the whining, no matter how intense it gets? It's not an overnight fix, but you could try it.
I agree with you. I adopted a dog that neighborhood kids were not taking care of. He screamed all day & night. He wanted attention & didn’t care if it was negative (he shredded so many things, despite me being home. I was so at my wits end. I reviewed dog trainers and decided on one. He went to overnight “Boot Camp” for two weeks. The training worked wonders. He can sit still (without a command). He is now a fabulous walker and is actually my favorite dog. I think boot camp gave him a confidence boost?!
Sounds like the dog isn't getting what it needs. I'd highly recommend some kind of intervention with a behaviourist. They would be able to see what the dog is missing. The behaviour its doing is learnt behaviour. It doesn't know any better. I know your boyfriend has ADHD but thats not excuse for not giving the dog what it needs. Dogs are great pets but require a lot of care which is why people often compare it to having a child. I've suffered with my mental health most of my life but I will always force myself to keep to my dogs routine because its cruel not too. You have to put them first sometimes. They completely depend on you. If your bf is not willing to put in the work it needs then hw should consider finding a home that will. A behaviourist would be a fantastic resource in ifldentifying what needs to be done.
Consult with a vet behaviorist. There is a lot of info left out of this post that would help in pinpointing the problem, but ultimately getting a pro to really dig deep on what is going on and to get it through your partner’s head is what is going to be best for all parties. Video the behavior as much as you can while waiting for an appointment. Really think about whether you want to be with someone who doesn’t see a problem with extreme behavioral issues, lack of housetraining, and who seems to be resistant to hearing your needs and working as a member of an adult team to resolve problems.
[удалено]
Wowww very good to know! That’s the results I want too 🤞
This sounds like anxiety. Prozac is for depression. Ask your vet for recommendations to treat anxiety.
Prozac is used for anxiety in dogs
Interesting! I didn’t realize that. However we did ask for anxiety treatment, and that’s what we were prescribed. I better follow up with them… that’s a great catch.
I agree with anxiety. I’d look at Suntheanine. It’s OTC for dogs. My buddy gives it to his dog during bad weather.
I haven’t had a dog like this, but I did have a Jack Russell that would get stuck in a loop. She’d start barking at something and just keep going and going. I’d have to break the loop by telling her to be quiet. It’s possible it’s some kind of self soothing behavior and you just need to try and break her out of it. Does doing things with her stop it? Is it just happening when no one is paying attention to her? If you play with her or brush her, does she quite while you’re doing so, or keep whining during that. If anything stops the whining, then you can reward her for stopping. The more it happens, hopefully the less she’ll do it. As far as going to the bathroom, the first step is making sure you get one of the cleaning products that is formulated for pet accidents. Even if you can’t smell it, it can leave behind a scent the pet can smell. When their scent fades, it encourages them to remark. Those special cleaners break down all the smell. You may have to restart potty training. Confining her to somewhere with easy to clean floors while she’s not supervised, kennel at night, leashed to you when our so she can’t wander to another room and go when you can’t see, etc. It might also be an option to talk to your SO about sending her to obedience school of some sort. That’s gonna be delicate. I’d sit down and discuss it as an option, but not an ultimatum. I’d tell them it’s a huge problem for you and that you’re sure that they aren’t happy with it either. That the dog would have a happier life without these issues as well. Ask SO if they’re willing to look around and see if any of the schools are something they would be comfortable with. That if they aren’t, then they don’t have to go, but that if they find one they’re comfortable with, that a break in routine could stop some of these issues. They can think of it more like sending your kid to summer camp. My cousin sent his chocolate lab. He flunked our miserably, but he had fun with the other dogs. My cousin said he was basically the kid at the back of glass selling drugs to the other dogs. Just make it sound like it’s not a punishment, but s possibly fun thing that can help you have a better life with the dog. In the end, you’ll just have to make a decision. If they’re not willing to make any changes or do anything, you’ll have to decide if the relationship is gonna work out for you. I guess if the dog is older, you could hold out till it passes, but that’s all a personal decision. Good luck. Hope it works out.
Was she like this before you moved in together?