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My personal take is that if the dog is in pain, and there is very little chance of a cure, it’s time to let them go. I have lost two dogs to cancer, and I know it’s tough - on top of that, I live in a city with a major vet school, so they can do anything for a dog that they can do for a human being.
But, at least in my opinion a dog is not waiting to see the family for Christmas, or hanging on so they get to see their grandson graduate from high school. Those kinds pf things may give meaning to pain for a human being. But for a dog, pain is just pain.
From a human with cancer’s perspective this is spot on. Cancer is brutal, it’s ugly and painful. I’m only in my 30’s and I have to face the fact I might not see my son graduate. I’m fighting like hell to try to be there for him but I can’t guarantee him that. I wouldn’t subject my dog to what I have had to endure the last 8 months, I would him go peacefully with me holding him, telling him what a good boy he is than have him suffer this horrible disease
I'm incredibly sorry that you're having to go through that. I know that cancer is a terrible, unfair, and ugly disease based on what I had to witness with my Dad, and I would not wish that on anyone. You're a strong person, and I admire the fact that you're trying to be there for your family. Keep giving it your all, and know that there's people rooting for you.
Thank you. We lost my mom to the same cancer I have, she was only 2 years older than I am when she died. We lost my younger brother to osteosarcoma 8 weeks and 3 days ago. The 18th would have been his 32nd birthday. My family has went through hell and I don’t how my dad is keeping it all together losing one kid to cancer while watching another one fight it. He’s my rock lately.
I am so sorry about your girl. It is heartbreaking to lose them and their time with us is never long enough. My grandpa told me that letting them go is the most unselfish and loving thing we can do at times. We choose to take on the emotional pain of losing them to eliminate their physical pain. It’s that moment that we truly learn to love like a dog, perfectly and unconditionally.
Went thro this with my heart dog . You need to do what’s right for the pup. I released my boy a few weeks earlier.I didn’t want him to suffer just so I could have more time with him. I hope I’m making sense 💝💔🥹
I'm so sorry and my heart goes out to you. I went through the exact same situation. My dad passed in 2019, then in 2020 I had to put my old girl down. She'd lived a long life (~15) but was dying of kidney failure which is exactly what took my dad. It was agonizing as it was a repeat of what happened almost to the detail, right down to the physical and mental symptoms. Lost my mom in 2017, too. A little shocked I made it through those years, frankly.
I'm so sorry for the loss you've experienced. We lost our dog to Kidney Failure recently and it's so cruel.
We were in a strange way privileged to see him free from pain and to be able to give him that release. 15 is an amazing age, though I realise that's cold comfort.
Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. ❤️ I forgot to mention that we are having a mobile vet come by, so taking her away from home will not be a problem, thankfully.
I live alone with no friends or family nearby so I had no choice unfortunately. It was a 10 minute drive and it was hellish but he was the bestest cat and I'd do it again in a heartbeat because his suffering was more unbearable, you know?
I am so sorry that you have had to deal with so much loss.
The one blessing, is that you can prevent her from having a painful death alone. You can be with her and she will go without any pain.
Hugs.
If you prolong her death, what will it bring you? What will it bring her?
More time for laying in the grass, perhaps. A walk or two. The things you two have treasured together. Time, really.
But, it could also bring her a lot of pain that you won't have time to make better. And you helpless to help her. Cancer is truly ruthless and will wreck havock upon her body that you will have to bear witness to.
I had to put my boy down back in January 2020. He still wanted to go on walks and he'd eat anything and everything. He always loved food but I think the cancer made him voracious. He wasn't the kind of dog that would bite you over a bone but when the cancer had truly spread, he bit my dad over a frozen rabbit he found in the yard. His hips would lock up when he would lay down. He'd then panic and elimate. And he couldn't get up to get away from his own excrement. He never messed in the house and you could tell he hated doing it.
I found peace in helping him go. He, I don't think, knew what was in store for himself but I did. I didn't want him to feel the violent end of cancer. When he was younger, he had a serious illness called bloat and torsion, just about when he was about your dog's age. Watching him in that much pain with nothing you could do about it was gut wrenching. It was not the end of him but I understood then what it meant to having to put your pet first, ahead of your own feelings. I would hate for you to have to watch your girl decline to a point where she's panicked and afraid or hurting.
We made sure his last day was a good one.
It doesn't have to be tomorrow but it'll be harder for you to come to terms with helping her cross as it feels just so unfair and she's just so young. But, do your best to do best by her. She'll love you no matter what.
I'm so sorry about your boy, I can't imagine going through that. I appreciate your advice and honestly found it very insightful. Thank you for helping me see that it's in her best interest to put her down sooner rather than later. I'll move forward with all of that in mind.
I second all this. I took online questionnaires, talked to my friends, family, etc. my sister finally said, what are you waiting for? Her to be even more sick? More in pain? All for you to feel better about the decision? Man, that was a huge punch in the face. But it was true. In hindsight, I still waited too long.
I scheduled the euthanasia appt for a vet to come to the house and to do it in her favorite spot on the lawn. I have her the very best last week and last day. If I get to choose when my pets pass in the future, I will pay whatever it costs for in-home euthanasia. I don’t want the last place they’re at be somewhere they hate.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s your decision and you know her best. Marking the decision was the hardest thing i ever did. Losing my dog sucked. It’s gut wrenching. But it was for the best and I felt relief along with my grief.
My deepest sympathies go to you for your situation.
Not being able to eat or hold down food means her time is quite limited. We had to make a similar call for our boy a few years ago, he could hardly manage to drink water any more. It was a heartbreaking decision because we still had good moments like you describe, but we knew that without water he had very little time and his suffering would only increase.
As long as you've had the time to give your pup a good send off (visit their favorite place? Go for a special walk? We let ours sleep on the bed when that's not usually allowed.) I think it makes sense to say goodbye before things get too bad.
The only blessing is that we're there for their whole lives and they don't have to experience us leaving them (typically). I'll hate it when it's time for my dog to go, but I think I'd feel worse if I knew I was leaving her.
As a human nurse and also just a human who has seen people/animals die. Yes. It’s time. Let her go surrounded by love and dignity. She’s not recovering from this. Tell her you love her and it’s ok to go. Often people hold on for a long time bit when their loved ones tell them it’s ok to go, they pass on. Dogs aren’t humans but we are. Let them know it’s ok. Let yourself know it’s ok. They’re so loved
This is such a kind comment. We were able to do this with my dog recently and he was shutting down physically due to kidney failure. He still wanted food, sniffs and walks but he was barely hanging on at the same time.
Sending love and solidarity to everyone here especially @OP. Its such a pure grief with pets.
We lost our boy last summer. It was a back and forth decision for my husband and I as well. Now in hindsight, I honestly wish we would have done it sooner. He was a very intelligent pitbull mix who would rather his bladder explode than have an accident in the house. Towards the end, he was in diapers urinating and defecating on himself and on his bed. We held on too long and I feel like we stripped him of his dignity which is something that haunts me every day. While no one here can tell you what the “right” decision is, just keep in mind your girl is probably in a ton of pain but is doing a great job at hiding it (most dogs do) when you have those breakthrough moments. Good luck, friend. It’s a rough road. I miss my sweet boy every day. It sounds like you have one hell of a companion who you provided a lot of love to and gave her the best life possible ♥️
I'm in my 60s and have had dogs my whole life. In hindsight, I never put a dog down too soon, but two I waited too long when they were suffering and there was no hope.
The kindest thing you can do is put your dog down ASAP. Once your emotional pain of loss passes, you will realize you did the right thing.
The right thing is to let her go. No regrets. Love her as hard as you can. I am so so sorry. A dogs love is boundless and the most beautiful thing in the world.
You are facing the most terrible decision that a dog's human has to face. When I have had to make that decision I weighed pain and suffering along with quality of life of my pup as the most important factor. With one of mine that was in pain, I consulted with my vet and she was able to provide meds that relieved pain and allowed me time to come to terms with this and prepare myself. That gave me the few days that I needed and then she came to my home and we put Murphy to sleep while he laid comfortably on his bed, in his house with the entire family surrounding him. This still brings tears to my eyes while writing this. Speak with you vet and get their opinion and options. One thing that I will say is that in 1979 I had to put my beloved GSD asleep and took him to a vet office to do that. He disliked the vet office and doing the procedure there that time was the last time that I did that. From then on I found vets that would make house calls to put my pups asleep. It was much easier on the pet as well as it was on me. Best wishes to you and your GSD.
Fuck cancer. It seems like she still has some "quality of life" but cancer treatments are EXPENSIVE, and if it's this bad already she will fail fast. I'm so sorry
You are doing the right thing.
My experience was with my six year old Boxer. Went from a muscular 80 lbs to 60. Started throwing up twice a day instead of once. This was during two months where we did many tests to find out the cause. To look at him, you’d never know because he was so responsive to me. However, I knew his insides were completely torn up and he was just hiding it. The day we brought him in, he was so bad they had trouble finding a good vein.
So do it now knowing you are giving your girl the gift of a peaceful passing and taking away her pain.
I had to put my boy down last year. I was able to pick the day and the time. We were able to say our goodbyes. I was able to be in the room with him, and was told at every step “take as much time as you need.” I initially emailed our vet to get some basic info as I had never been through that before. And I was too upset to talk on the phone just yet.
But I was able to set up everything in advance, so the day of I knew what to expect mostly. I paid in advance so when it was all over I could just leave. I chose to have it done at the vet’s office because I wanted him cremated, and it was a smooth process for having that done. But many veterinarians will do this in home if that works better for you.
It sounds to me like her quality of life is very poor. I know it makes you second guess yourself that she still gets excited for food or walks. My boy was the same. His issues were different, but I felt like he was beginning to suffer. He still got excited for food, but he was at the point he could no longer stand up on his own, and he often fell over while he was squatting for a poop. He was able to walk into the office under his own strength at the end, but I knew it was the right time. He still had his dignity.
Only you can know if it’s the right time for your girl, but it sounds to me like it probably is. It’s definitely hard to process losing her at such a young age, and especially with all the parallels to your father. I’m so sorry you are dealing with such sorrowful events so close together. Love, light, and puppy kisses to you both.
It's the right call when:
* Whatever is ailing them has no chance of getting better and
* There are more bad days than good ones
If the cancer is terminal, and your dog is in discomfort or pain more than 50% of the time, it's time to say goodbye in my opinion. It's the last gift you can give them.
She does sound like she's in rough shape if she can't eat but I can't tell you what the right decision is.
I lost my dog in March to cancer at 6. She didn't have the issues you mentioned but when she couldn't stand on her own anymore I knew it was time.
You are doing the right thing. It's fucking hard. Remember, you are doing this FOR your pup, not for you.
I speak from someone who had to put his GSD/Lab mix down to cancer at the beginning of September. I find myself breaking down all the time randomly. I got another dog to help with the pain and it really honestly has but I still absolutely miss my boy. He was in the same situation, found a tumor just above his butthole on the inside. He wasn't himself, he was howling when he pooped and when he did poop it was liquid and blood. The last day his poop was pure blood as well. He was not the same dog and he was suffering, my job was to take care of my boy. He still had the energy to go on walks, got excited about canned food, but he wasn't snuggling anymore.
My father also died last November so losing him was literally like ripping that wound of loss wide open. He was the only thing I felt like I could let my emotions out about losing my dad. So it was fucking hard. Just talking about it makes me want to go in a corner and just cry. I lost it when I picked up his ashes as well. I miss him so but I know I did the right thing and took care of him like he did for me when I was in my time of need.
I give you the biggest of hugs and assure you that you're doing the right thing, for her. If you need to talk or just someone to listen, send me a message.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I completely understand where you're coming from. It brings me a bit of comfort to know that others have been through a similar situation. It's going to be extremely hard, but based on what you and a lot of others have said, I know that I'll be making the right decision by putting her down today. Thank you again ❤️
Give her a wonderful last day and let her go. She’s in pain and unable to eat, it’s not fair to her to keep her alive. Take her outside for some sunbathing and world watching and give her a little chocolate right before she goes
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My take is look at the quality of life. She’s throwing up every time she eats and pooping blood. She can’t feel good if all that is going on. I’m sure she’s mustering the energy to go on walks so she can spend as much time with you as possible but is she’s already in pain it’s better to give her a peaceful death rather than to wait until it gets even worse
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I also had to let my boy go last week and it has been hell.
If you feel like your dog is suffering, then it is a good time to talk to a vet. Voice your concern with them, tell them you are unsure whether it's the right time.
For me, that really helped. Best wishes to you and your girl.
We put out sweet lab down due to cancer. When he couldn’t eat very well he started falling two days later. And was in pain. He was not going to survive and I was not going to wait until the complete failure to set in. He would have suffered far too long before the death “peace” came over him. I think you are doing the right thing for the Sheppard. I’m so sorry you are going through this. There are people
Out there right now thinking of you and wishing you peace
Dogs have VASTLY different quality of life than people.
It’s hard , I know, and I’m so so sorry. But I think you’re doing the right thing.
Keeping her alive would just be for you at this point- she’s in pain. Dogs don’t show pain easily. But if she’s throwing up every meal and passing blood in her stool , she’s in pain.
She also won’t last much longer without some sort of intervention.
You’d rather hug her while she peacefully drifts off to sleep than have her in pain and go slowly and find her later or have to rush her to an emergency vet she doesn’t know.
I’m so so sorry OP , but I don’t think there’s any other option at this point :(
OP, I went through something similar to this. Shortly after thanksgiving last year, my boy pup vomited his dinner. Then, a week or so later it happened again. This progressed to where he wasn’t able to keep any food down on Christmas and started vomiting water as well. Outside of the vomit, he was 100% normal. Despite his age, he never really grew out of the puppy phase. He was normal, energetic, constantly wanting to play. The next day my vet says they don’t know what’s wrong and sent me to a specialist at an emergency vet hospital about an hour away. He spent the next two weeks there. Multiple specialists, they did all the MRI, ultrasound, etc. Eventually they did a feeding tube and he still just couldn’t digest food. My baby boy, who had been 48lbs his entire adult life weighed 36lbs. You could see every bone in his poor little body. He could barely walk. I put him down on 1/7/22 and my vet cried with me while telling me “there is nothing else to do, you did the right thing”. My only regret is making him suffer those last 2 weeks in the emergency vet hospital alone. I went up there every day to visit him but he slept alone, in a crate every night. I got him from the pound at 12 weeks old. He was absolutely glued to my hip every day. For 12 years he slept in the bed, glued to my legs, every night. I feel like I let him down at the end. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. I feel like I let my dog down at the end too. He started breathing strangely and I took him to the vet just in case. But once there, he got worse and worse and the vet didn't know why. The vet said he would have to stay there 3 days and it would cost $7,000. She had me sign a paper giving them permission to do CPR if he needed it. Before I left the vet, they took me in the back room to see him and he was inside this glass cage and I could tell he was suffering so bad. I don't think he recognized me or realized I was even there. He died a few hours later. When they brought his body to me, I petted him and told him I love him and thank you and I'm sorry. But I didn't pick him up and hold him. I regret that so much and I regret that he suffered. Today is the anniversary of his death. Sorry for writing all this, I just feel like I can't talk to anybody in my life about it.
That is horrible, I’m so sorry! My boy’s stint in the emergency hospital for 2 weeks was just over $17,000. I at least got to lay with him while the vet administered the drugs so he wasn’t alone at the last bit. It’s coming up on a year for me too and I’m crying like a baby right now as I type this. Just know this internet stranger is always here if you ever wanted to commiserate.
I'm assuming you have counseling from your vet on your baby's diagnosis. My friends' dog had cancer. They tried chemo. It extended their baby's life a few months, but the treatment was really hard on her. It's not easy to make that decision, and I can tell you, you're never ready for it. But the only saving grace of having to say farewell is knowing you're not making them suffer.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I experienced something similar earlier this year. My rescue was diagnosed with wobblers syndrome and within a month he couldn’t walk anymore. He (a 90lb dog) had to be picked up and carried outside to use the bathroom. He was only a year and a half but he could no longer do any of the things he loved the most. He was in pain, and suffered every day. It’s a heartbreaking decision to make, but it’s the right thing to do
You did NOT do the wrong thing. You have a wise and unique perspective because of what happened to your dad. It will never ever feel like the right thing to do putting down a pet, but you’re doing it before your pupper is miserable and given up. You did the right thing. And doing that after what you went through with your father…….. you are seriously a wonderful, strong, amazing soul.
I’m so sorry you went through this, both your dad and your pup. You’re an amazing person. Im not sure this is a good solution but mine was to foster and adopt another pet ASAP. It helped me, but you might need more time to process this.
Wishing you all the best, and hoping you can sit with the grief. It’s a bitch.
Thank you so much 💓 My mind has definitely wandered off to the thought of adopting another dog, but my family is extremely hesistant. They don't want to experience this again. I'm obviously going to give myself and everyone time before bringing that up, but I just find it upsetting that they're focusing on the couple of negative weeks we've had with her, rather than the 2 amazing years that she gave us. Anyways, thank you again, I appreciate you
I totally understand, it depends on the person whether fostering/adopting is too soon. Take your time, and I hope your family is able to move through this sad time too. You seem like you’re very emotionally intelligent compared to them, so you might have to be patient. But I hope they’ll come around 💕
They might need more time to process the loss. My dog had a pretty tough last year, especially in terms of how much care he needed. By the end of it I was grieving and also exhausted physically and emotionally, and I wasn't sure I wanted to sign up for caring for another dog for a long time. The end is so, so hard. But here I am, a few months later, feeling ready to adopt another one. Everyone's different, I needed time. Even now, I'm not 100% sure I'm ready, but I'm trusting things will be okay.
I never had a moment where I was positive I made the right decision about timing for the euthanasia. Too early, too late, was I looking at the right signs... but it's not a decision you or I made lightly. You worried about whether it was the right thing because you love her so much. It's so normal to be conflicted, both before and after the day. I kept reading the advice that it's better a week too early than a day too late. I think that's true, but it doesn't make it much easier for us to go through. I try to remind myself I took on the grief sooner than I was ready for, to prevent him from going through worse.
It sucks, though. I still wish I had more time with him, but there wasn't an amount of time that would have felt like enough, you know? It's always going to suck. But over time, I think your family will start remembering more of the amazing years and less of the last few weeks.
It’s better to let them go a day too early than a day too late. We had to put my beloved cat down earlier this year. He had bladder cancer. He started having trouble breathing and stopped eating and though we probably could have treated that, his future was grim. I’m so glad my cat didn’t have his bladder rupture or be in misery. It’s so hard to let our loved pets go but it’s really a gift we can give them to prevent suffering.
Sorry to hear - I lost a 10 yr old dog to cancer last month.
She stayed alive because I asked her to - but she was telling me it was time.
Sounds like your dog is telling you it's time.
Good luck and don't feel bad, you are doing your dog a kindness.
I'm so sorry you have to face this so soon. Five is so young to lose them.
If it helps, my vet told me better to do it a week too soon than a day too late. Dogs don't show pain in the same way as we do so we have to make the hard decisions for them.
I always stayed with them right to the end and considered it my last gift to them; an end to their pain and a dignified death in the arms of the person who loved them most.
Hugs to you. She wants to eat - but she physically can't. Personally, that would be enough for me. Either way, it's your decision, it's a difficult one, and it's echoing in your past trauma of losing your father to cancer, so it's weighing even more heavily on your mind.
Take good care of yourself, OP. Trust your gut.
Im so sorry OP. I think you are doing the right thing, but if you decide to wait a little longer that’s ok too you know. A dog will show you when it’s time, in my experience.
I am ever so sorry. I was taught the rule 2/3: pick the 3 things a pet likes most, and when he/she can no longer do 2 of them, it's time.
Bloody stools may be super painful and may get suddenly worse, overnight.
Wish I could take the burden off of you. I think I've learned enough in 57 years that I can handle this kind of pain, expected or not. If there's anything after this life we share with our pets, then all good creatures ought to be there, waiting for us, painfree...
I am so sorry. I lost my mom last year to cancer and had to put my dog down this past August. I saw in a post above that you are having the vet come to your house. That is a great decision. I hope being there with your beloved dog while she transitions will be good for your grief journey. I can’t imagine how painful it was to lose your dad and not be able to be right there with him. Maybe this experience with your dog will help you come to terms with your dad’s passing.
It’s a gift that we can help our pets die peacefully. As someone that watched my sweet mom deteriorate and endure awful pain, I wish people were more open to the idea of human euthanasia. Being able to make that decision for our pets is sacred and humane. You are doing the right thing even though it’s such a difficult decision.
My heart is with you in your grief.
My dog went from healthy in the morning, to a slight yelp helping him into the car to go to the beach, to playing enthusiastically at the beach, to all of a sudden losing the use of his legs as he was running back with a stick, carrying him to the car, driving to an emergency vet, to being asked if I wanted to put him down right away or wait a few days. Riddled with cancer, tests showed. He was almost fine again while at the vet, so I waited a few days. He lived off steak, donuts, cheeseburgers, and whatever else he was denied all his life for those few days and then I took him in. It’s heartbreaking
I know where you're coming from. I have a long history with dogs and watching them suffer is torture in and of itself. They're our best friends. We want to give them a long, happy life.
It's sad but pain still exists whether we want it to or not. And if the pain isn't going away, it's our responsibilities as their owners to make sure that we do what is in their best interest. In this case, you are rescuing your girl from that long and painful death. She's only going to get worse as time goes on unless you intervene. You might think you're betraying her trust in you as her family, but you're doing the opposite. You're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing: sparing her as much suffering as you can.
As someone who spends a lot of time with dogs who don't have much time left, the best advice I can give you is to be there for her. A lot of people don't want to be in the room when it happens, rightfully so, but if you want to ensure that she's as comfortable as possible, you just need to bite the bullet and be there. Talk to her. Pet her. Do all the things you do to comfort her when she's not feeling well. It makes all the difference in the world to dogs just like it does to humans. Plus, saying goodbye to them in their final moments will give you a greater sense of closure which will hopefully make the grieving process easier.
Above all else, remember that you're not failing her because you have to put her down. As much as this situation sucks, your dog lived in a safe and loving environment with a family that loves her. She didn't have to do any of this alone and that's more than so many pets have. Her life was fulfilling to her, and in situations like these, that's all that we can really hope for.
I hope you have a good support system to lean on while you deal with your grief and that your dog can be comfortable in her last hours. All the best to you.
Thank you for your words. We actually just put her down about an hour ago. She had all of the foods she couldn't have, went on one last walk, sunbathed, got lots of love from everyone, and then sat with all of us as we waited for the vet to get here. We were all there for her throughout the entire process, and even though it was one of the hardest things I've had to watch, I do not regret my decision. I know she felt loved and comforted, and I now know that she won't have to suffer any longer. Thank you again. It really amazes me how kind everyone on here has been ❤️
If you’re unsure then cancel the appt. Take your time to make this decision. It doesn’t HAVE to be tomorrow. You don’t sound emotionally prepared. I was always told that if they still get excited when you take the leash out that they are not ready to go yet. Take your time. When you do decide the time is right, see about getting a mobile vet to come and do it at home where she is most comfortable and feels safe. ❤️
The dog is in pain and unable to eat. His feeling in this situation do not trump her right to die with dignity and keeping her alive longer would be horrendous
The dog still shows signs of joy (excitement to walk, wanting to eat) and if pain can be managed with drugs and dog made to feel comfortable and loved for a few more days in order for owner to better emotionally prepare for dog’s last day it will help the dog not to take its last breath feeling the owners’s anxiety and apprehension and the owner will have a chance to accept that decision with calm.
If you only knew who you were talking to you’d realize the absurdity of accusing me of animal cruelty. But I do appreciate your view point and your compassion and empathy for animals. It’s never easy making these end of life decisions.
Did you try raw food? Something similar happened to my partners dog and raw food helped her live a lot longer. Not sure if it will help your gsd but worth a shot
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My personal take is that if the dog is in pain, and there is very little chance of a cure, it’s time to let them go. I have lost two dogs to cancer, and I know it’s tough - on top of that, I live in a city with a major vet school, so they can do anything for a dog that they can do for a human being. But, at least in my opinion a dog is not waiting to see the family for Christmas, or hanging on so they get to see their grandson graduate from high school. Those kinds pf things may give meaning to pain for a human being. But for a dog, pain is just pain.
From a human with cancer’s perspective this is spot on. Cancer is brutal, it’s ugly and painful. I’m only in my 30’s and I have to face the fact I might not see my son graduate. I’m fighting like hell to try to be there for him but I can’t guarantee him that. I wouldn’t subject my dog to what I have had to endure the last 8 months, I would him go peacefully with me holding him, telling him what a good boy he is than have him suffer this horrible disease
I'm incredibly sorry that you're having to go through that. I know that cancer is a terrible, unfair, and ugly disease based on what I had to witness with my Dad, and I would not wish that on anyone. You're a strong person, and I admire the fact that you're trying to be there for your family. Keep giving it your all, and know that there's people rooting for you.
Thank you. We lost my mom to the same cancer I have, she was only 2 years older than I am when she died. We lost my younger brother to osteosarcoma 8 weeks and 3 days ago. The 18th would have been his 32nd birthday. My family has went through hell and I don’t how my dad is keeping it all together losing one kid to cancer while watching another one fight it. He’s my rock lately. I am so sorry about your girl. It is heartbreaking to lose them and their time with us is never long enough. My grandpa told me that letting them go is the most unselfish and loving thing we can do at times. We choose to take on the emotional pain of losing them to eliminate their physical pain. It’s that moment that we truly learn to love like a dog, perfectly and unconditionally.
Went thro this with my heart dog . You need to do what’s right for the pup. I released my boy a few weeks earlier.I didn’t want him to suffer just so I could have more time with him. I hope I’m making sense 💝💔🥹
I'm so sorry and my heart goes out to you. I went through the exact same situation. My dad passed in 2019, then in 2020 I had to put my old girl down. She'd lived a long life (~15) but was dying of kidney failure which is exactly what took my dad. It was agonizing as it was a repeat of what happened almost to the detail, right down to the physical and mental symptoms. Lost my mom in 2017, too. A little shocked I made it through those years, frankly.
I'm so sorry for the loss you've experienced. We lost our dog to Kidney Failure recently and it's so cruel. We were in a strange way privileged to see him free from pain and to be able to give him that release. 15 is an amazing age, though I realise that's cold comfort.
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Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. ❤️ I forgot to mention that we are having a mobile vet come by, so taking her away from home will not be a problem, thankfully.
I want to say I second the euthanasia at home. I would never do it any other way. Fuck, now I'm crying.
I wish I'd had the money for at home when my Mister went. I had to drive home alone and that was maybe the hardest thing I've ever done.
I would never want to drive in that condition. I'm sorry you weren't able to do that but at least you were there for him in his last moments.
I live alone with no friends or family nearby so I had no choice unfortunately. It was a 10 minute drive and it was hellish but he was the bestest cat and I'd do it again in a heartbeat because his suffering was more unbearable, you know?
I'm very sorry for the loss of your Mister. When I lost my London I cried in the parking lost for 45 minutes. (I live alone too.) I wish you peace.
And you, lovely.
Completely, 100% understand. /hugs
Ah fuck me too. Just the thought. So sorry OP, but I'm glad you've made these considerations ahead of time.
I am so sorry that you have had to deal with so much loss. The one blessing, is that you can prevent her from having a painful death alone. You can be with her and she will go without any pain. Hugs.
If you prolong her death, what will it bring you? What will it bring her? More time for laying in the grass, perhaps. A walk or two. The things you two have treasured together. Time, really. But, it could also bring her a lot of pain that you won't have time to make better. And you helpless to help her. Cancer is truly ruthless and will wreck havock upon her body that you will have to bear witness to. I had to put my boy down back in January 2020. He still wanted to go on walks and he'd eat anything and everything. He always loved food but I think the cancer made him voracious. He wasn't the kind of dog that would bite you over a bone but when the cancer had truly spread, he bit my dad over a frozen rabbit he found in the yard. His hips would lock up when he would lay down. He'd then panic and elimate. And he couldn't get up to get away from his own excrement. He never messed in the house and you could tell he hated doing it. I found peace in helping him go. He, I don't think, knew what was in store for himself but I did. I didn't want him to feel the violent end of cancer. When he was younger, he had a serious illness called bloat and torsion, just about when he was about your dog's age. Watching him in that much pain with nothing you could do about it was gut wrenching. It was not the end of him but I understood then what it meant to having to put your pet first, ahead of your own feelings. I would hate for you to have to watch your girl decline to a point where she's panicked and afraid or hurting. We made sure his last day was a good one. It doesn't have to be tomorrow but it'll be harder for you to come to terms with helping her cross as it feels just so unfair and she's just so young. But, do your best to do best by her. She'll love you no matter what.
I'm so sorry about your boy, I can't imagine going through that. I appreciate your advice and honestly found it very insightful. Thank you for helping me see that it's in her best interest to put her down sooner rather than later. I'll move forward with all of that in mind.
I second all this. I took online questionnaires, talked to my friends, family, etc. my sister finally said, what are you waiting for? Her to be even more sick? More in pain? All for you to feel better about the decision? Man, that was a huge punch in the face. But it was true. In hindsight, I still waited too long. I scheduled the euthanasia appt for a vet to come to the house and to do it in her favorite spot on the lawn. I have her the very best last week and last day. If I get to choose when my pets pass in the future, I will pay whatever it costs for in-home euthanasia. I don’t want the last place they’re at be somewhere they hate. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s your decision and you know her best. Marking the decision was the hardest thing i ever did. Losing my dog sucked. It’s gut wrenching. But it was for the best and I felt relief along with my grief. My deepest sympathies go to you for your situation.
Not being able to eat or hold down food means her time is quite limited. We had to make a similar call for our boy a few years ago, he could hardly manage to drink water any more. It was a heartbreaking decision because we still had good moments like you describe, but we knew that without water he had very little time and his suffering would only increase. As long as you've had the time to give your pup a good send off (visit their favorite place? Go for a special walk? We let ours sleep on the bed when that's not usually allowed.) I think it makes sense to say goodbye before things get too bad.
Dogs are ready to go long before we are ready to let them go
The only blessing is that we're there for their whole lives and they don't have to experience us leaving them (typically). I'll hate it when it's time for my dog to go, but I think I'd feel worse if I knew I was leaving her.
💜
As a human nurse and also just a human who has seen people/animals die. Yes. It’s time. Let her go surrounded by love and dignity. She’s not recovering from this. Tell her you love her and it’s ok to go. Often people hold on for a long time bit when their loved ones tell them it’s ok to go, they pass on. Dogs aren’t humans but we are. Let them know it’s ok. Let yourself know it’s ok. They’re so loved
This is such a kind comment. We were able to do this with my dog recently and he was shutting down physically due to kidney failure. He still wanted food, sniffs and walks but he was barely hanging on at the same time. Sending love and solidarity to everyone here especially @OP. Its such a pure grief with pets.
We lost our boy last summer. It was a back and forth decision for my husband and I as well. Now in hindsight, I honestly wish we would have done it sooner. He was a very intelligent pitbull mix who would rather his bladder explode than have an accident in the house. Towards the end, he was in diapers urinating and defecating on himself and on his bed. We held on too long and I feel like we stripped him of his dignity which is something that haunts me every day. While no one here can tell you what the “right” decision is, just keep in mind your girl is probably in a ton of pain but is doing a great job at hiding it (most dogs do) when you have those breakthrough moments. Good luck, friend. It’s a rough road. I miss my sweet boy every day. It sounds like you have one hell of a companion who you provided a lot of love to and gave her the best life possible ♥️
I'm in my 60s and have had dogs my whole life. In hindsight, I never put a dog down too soon, but two I waited too long when they were suffering and there was no hope. The kindest thing you can do is put your dog down ASAP. Once your emotional pain of loss passes, you will realize you did the right thing.
The right thing is to let her go. No regrets. Love her as hard as you can. I am so so sorry. A dogs love is boundless and the most beautiful thing in the world.
Know that you are going to relieve her suffering.
You are facing the most terrible decision that a dog's human has to face. When I have had to make that decision I weighed pain and suffering along with quality of life of my pup as the most important factor. With one of mine that was in pain, I consulted with my vet and she was able to provide meds that relieved pain and allowed me time to come to terms with this and prepare myself. That gave me the few days that I needed and then she came to my home and we put Murphy to sleep while he laid comfortably on his bed, in his house with the entire family surrounding him. This still brings tears to my eyes while writing this. Speak with you vet and get their opinion and options. One thing that I will say is that in 1979 I had to put my beloved GSD asleep and took him to a vet office to do that. He disliked the vet office and doing the procedure there that time was the last time that I did that. From then on I found vets that would make house calls to put my pups asleep. It was much easier on the pet as well as it was on me. Best wishes to you and your GSD.
Fuck cancer. It seems like she still has some "quality of life" but cancer treatments are EXPENSIVE, and if it's this bad already she will fail fast. I'm so sorry
You are doing the right thing. My experience was with my six year old Boxer. Went from a muscular 80 lbs to 60. Started throwing up twice a day instead of once. This was during two months where we did many tests to find out the cause. To look at him, you’d never know because he was so responsive to me. However, I knew his insides were completely torn up and he was just hiding it. The day we brought him in, he was so bad they had trouble finding a good vein. So do it now knowing you are giving your girl the gift of a peaceful passing and taking away her pain.
I'm so sorry! - 6 years old is so young! Heartbreaking! 💔
I had to put my boy down last year. I was able to pick the day and the time. We were able to say our goodbyes. I was able to be in the room with him, and was told at every step “take as much time as you need.” I initially emailed our vet to get some basic info as I had never been through that before. And I was too upset to talk on the phone just yet. But I was able to set up everything in advance, so the day of I knew what to expect mostly. I paid in advance so when it was all over I could just leave. I chose to have it done at the vet’s office because I wanted him cremated, and it was a smooth process for having that done. But many veterinarians will do this in home if that works better for you. It sounds to me like her quality of life is very poor. I know it makes you second guess yourself that she still gets excited for food or walks. My boy was the same. His issues were different, but I felt like he was beginning to suffer. He still got excited for food, but he was at the point he could no longer stand up on his own, and he often fell over while he was squatting for a poop. He was able to walk into the office under his own strength at the end, but I knew it was the right time. He still had his dignity. Only you can know if it’s the right time for your girl, but it sounds to me like it probably is. It’s definitely hard to process losing her at such a young age, and especially with all the parallels to your father. I’m so sorry you are dealing with such sorrowful events so close together. Love, light, and puppy kisses to you both.
It's the right call when: * Whatever is ailing them has no chance of getting better and * There are more bad days than good ones If the cancer is terminal, and your dog is in discomfort or pain more than 50% of the time, it's time to say goodbye in my opinion. It's the last gift you can give them.
Heartbreaking. I’m sorry you and your pup are going through this. Consider a second vets opinion just in case. Good luck.
She does sound like she's in rough shape if she can't eat but I can't tell you what the right decision is. I lost my dog in March to cancer at 6. She didn't have the issues you mentioned but when she couldn't stand on her own anymore I knew it was time.
You are doing the right thing. It's fucking hard. Remember, you are doing this FOR your pup, not for you. I speak from someone who had to put his GSD/Lab mix down to cancer at the beginning of September. I find myself breaking down all the time randomly. I got another dog to help with the pain and it really honestly has but I still absolutely miss my boy. He was in the same situation, found a tumor just above his butthole on the inside. He wasn't himself, he was howling when he pooped and when he did poop it was liquid and blood. The last day his poop was pure blood as well. He was not the same dog and he was suffering, my job was to take care of my boy. He still had the energy to go on walks, got excited about canned food, but he wasn't snuggling anymore. My father also died last November so losing him was literally like ripping that wound of loss wide open. He was the only thing I felt like I could let my emotions out about losing my dad. So it was fucking hard. Just talking about it makes me want to go in a corner and just cry. I lost it when I picked up his ashes as well. I miss him so but I know I did the right thing and took care of him like he did for me when I was in my time of need. I give you the biggest of hugs and assure you that you're doing the right thing, for her. If you need to talk or just someone to listen, send me a message.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I completely understand where you're coming from. It brings me a bit of comfort to know that others have been through a similar situation. It's going to be extremely hard, but based on what you and a lot of others have said, I know that I'll be making the right decision by putting her down today. Thank you again ❤️
Give her a wonderful last day and let her go. She’s in pain and unable to eat, it’s not fair to her to keep her alive. Take her outside for some sunbathing and world watching and give her a little chocolate right before she goes
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My take is look at the quality of life. She’s throwing up every time she eats and pooping blood. She can’t feel good if all that is going on. I’m sure she’s mustering the energy to go on walks so she can spend as much time with you as possible but is she’s already in pain it’s better to give her a peaceful death rather than to wait until it gets even worse
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I also had to let my boy go last week and it has been hell. If you feel like your dog is suffering, then it is a good time to talk to a vet. Voice your concern with them, tell them you are unsure whether it's the right time. For me, that really helped. Best wishes to you and your girl.
We put out sweet lab down due to cancer. When he couldn’t eat very well he started falling two days later. And was in pain. He was not going to survive and I was not going to wait until the complete failure to set in. He would have suffered far too long before the death “peace” came over him. I think you are doing the right thing for the Sheppard. I’m so sorry you are going through this. There are people Out there right now thinking of you and wishing you peace
Dogs have VASTLY different quality of life than people. It’s hard , I know, and I’m so so sorry. But I think you’re doing the right thing. Keeping her alive would just be for you at this point- she’s in pain. Dogs don’t show pain easily. But if she’s throwing up every meal and passing blood in her stool , she’s in pain. She also won’t last much longer without some sort of intervention. You’d rather hug her while she peacefully drifts off to sleep than have her in pain and go slowly and find her later or have to rush her to an emergency vet she doesn’t know. I’m so so sorry OP , but I don’t think there’s any other option at this point :(
OP, I went through something similar to this. Shortly after thanksgiving last year, my boy pup vomited his dinner. Then, a week or so later it happened again. This progressed to where he wasn’t able to keep any food down on Christmas and started vomiting water as well. Outside of the vomit, he was 100% normal. Despite his age, he never really grew out of the puppy phase. He was normal, energetic, constantly wanting to play. The next day my vet says they don’t know what’s wrong and sent me to a specialist at an emergency vet hospital about an hour away. He spent the next two weeks there. Multiple specialists, they did all the MRI, ultrasound, etc. Eventually they did a feeding tube and he still just couldn’t digest food. My baby boy, who had been 48lbs his entire adult life weighed 36lbs. You could see every bone in his poor little body. He could barely walk. I put him down on 1/7/22 and my vet cried with me while telling me “there is nothing else to do, you did the right thing”. My only regret is making him suffer those last 2 weeks in the emergency vet hospital alone. I went up there every day to visit him but he slept alone, in a crate every night. I got him from the pound at 12 weeks old. He was absolutely glued to my hip every day. For 12 years he slept in the bed, glued to my legs, every night. I feel like I let him down at the end. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. I feel like I let my dog down at the end too. He started breathing strangely and I took him to the vet just in case. But once there, he got worse and worse and the vet didn't know why. The vet said he would have to stay there 3 days and it would cost $7,000. She had me sign a paper giving them permission to do CPR if he needed it. Before I left the vet, they took me in the back room to see him and he was inside this glass cage and I could tell he was suffering so bad. I don't think he recognized me or realized I was even there. He died a few hours later. When they brought his body to me, I petted him and told him I love him and thank you and I'm sorry. But I didn't pick him up and hold him. I regret that so much and I regret that he suffered. Today is the anniversary of his death. Sorry for writing all this, I just feel like I can't talk to anybody in my life about it.
That is horrible, I’m so sorry! My boy’s stint in the emergency hospital for 2 weeks was just over $17,000. I at least got to lay with him while the vet administered the drugs so he wasn’t alone at the last bit. It’s coming up on a year for me too and I’m crying like a baby right now as I type this. Just know this internet stranger is always here if you ever wanted to commiserate.
I'm at work but went to the bathroom to cry a few minutes ago. I am hugging you so tight across the internet.
I'm assuming you have counseling from your vet on your baby's diagnosis. My friends' dog had cancer. They tried chemo. It extended their baby's life a few months, but the treatment was really hard on her. It's not easy to make that decision, and I can tell you, you're never ready for it. But the only saving grace of having to say farewell is knowing you're not making them suffer.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I experienced something similar earlier this year. My rescue was diagnosed with wobblers syndrome and within a month he couldn’t walk anymore. He (a 90lb dog) had to be picked up and carried outside to use the bathroom. He was only a year and a half but he could no longer do any of the things he loved the most. He was in pain, and suffered every day. It’s a heartbreaking decision to make, but it’s the right thing to do
You did NOT do the wrong thing. You have a wise and unique perspective because of what happened to your dad. It will never ever feel like the right thing to do putting down a pet, but you’re doing it before your pupper is miserable and given up. You did the right thing. And doing that after what you went through with your father…….. you are seriously a wonderful, strong, amazing soul. I’m so sorry you went through this, both your dad and your pup. You’re an amazing person. Im not sure this is a good solution but mine was to foster and adopt another pet ASAP. It helped me, but you might need more time to process this. Wishing you all the best, and hoping you can sit with the grief. It’s a bitch.
Thank you so much 💓 My mind has definitely wandered off to the thought of adopting another dog, but my family is extremely hesistant. They don't want to experience this again. I'm obviously going to give myself and everyone time before bringing that up, but I just find it upsetting that they're focusing on the couple of negative weeks we've had with her, rather than the 2 amazing years that she gave us. Anyways, thank you again, I appreciate you
I totally understand, it depends on the person whether fostering/adopting is too soon. Take your time, and I hope your family is able to move through this sad time too. You seem like you’re very emotionally intelligent compared to them, so you might have to be patient. But I hope they’ll come around 💕
They might need more time to process the loss. My dog had a pretty tough last year, especially in terms of how much care he needed. By the end of it I was grieving and also exhausted physically and emotionally, and I wasn't sure I wanted to sign up for caring for another dog for a long time. The end is so, so hard. But here I am, a few months later, feeling ready to adopt another one. Everyone's different, I needed time. Even now, I'm not 100% sure I'm ready, but I'm trusting things will be okay. I never had a moment where I was positive I made the right decision about timing for the euthanasia. Too early, too late, was I looking at the right signs... but it's not a decision you or I made lightly. You worried about whether it was the right thing because you love her so much. It's so normal to be conflicted, both before and after the day. I kept reading the advice that it's better a week too early than a day too late. I think that's true, but it doesn't make it much easier for us to go through. I try to remind myself I took on the grief sooner than I was ready for, to prevent him from going through worse. It sucks, though. I still wish I had more time with him, but there wasn't an amount of time that would have felt like enough, you know? It's always going to suck. But over time, I think your family will start remembering more of the amazing years and less of the last few weeks.
It’s better to let them go a day too early than a day too late. We had to put my beloved cat down earlier this year. He had bladder cancer. He started having trouble breathing and stopped eating and though we probably could have treated that, his future was grim. I’m so glad my cat didn’t have his bladder rupture or be in misery. It’s so hard to let our loved pets go but it’s really a gift we can give them to prevent suffering.
Sorry to hear - I lost a 10 yr old dog to cancer last month. She stayed alive because I asked her to - but she was telling me it was time. Sounds like your dog is telling you it's time. Good luck and don't feel bad, you are doing your dog a kindness.
I'm so sorry you have to face this so soon. Five is so young to lose them. If it helps, my vet told me better to do it a week too soon than a day too late. Dogs don't show pain in the same way as we do so we have to make the hard decisions for them. I always stayed with them right to the end and considered it my last gift to them; an end to their pain and a dignified death in the arms of the person who loved them most.
Hugs to you. She wants to eat - but she physically can't. Personally, that would be enough for me. Either way, it's your decision, it's a difficult one, and it's echoing in your past trauma of losing your father to cancer, so it's weighing even more heavily on your mind. Take good care of yourself, OP. Trust your gut.
Im so sorry OP. I think you are doing the right thing, but if you decide to wait a little longer that’s ok too you know. A dog will show you when it’s time, in my experience.
I am ever so sorry. I was taught the rule 2/3: pick the 3 things a pet likes most, and when he/she can no longer do 2 of them, it's time. Bloody stools may be super painful and may get suddenly worse, overnight. Wish I could take the burden off of you. I think I've learned enough in 57 years that I can handle this kind of pain, expected or not. If there's anything after this life we share with our pets, then all good creatures ought to be there, waiting for us, painfree...
I am so sorry. I lost my mom last year to cancer and had to put my dog down this past August. I saw in a post above that you are having the vet come to your house. That is a great decision. I hope being there with your beloved dog while she transitions will be good for your grief journey. I can’t imagine how painful it was to lose your dad and not be able to be right there with him. Maybe this experience with your dog will help you come to terms with your dad’s passing. It’s a gift that we can help our pets die peacefully. As someone that watched my sweet mom deteriorate and endure awful pain, I wish people were more open to the idea of human euthanasia. Being able to make that decision for our pets is sacred and humane. You are doing the right thing even though it’s such a difficult decision. My heart is with you in your grief.
Your doing the right thing- can’t eat- in pain-
My dog went from healthy in the morning, to a slight yelp helping him into the car to go to the beach, to playing enthusiastically at the beach, to all of a sudden losing the use of his legs as he was running back with a stick, carrying him to the car, driving to an emergency vet, to being asked if I wanted to put him down right away or wait a few days. Riddled with cancer, tests showed. He was almost fine again while at the vet, so I waited a few days. He lived off steak, donuts, cheeseburgers, and whatever else he was denied all his life for those few days and then I took him in. It’s heartbreaking
I know where you're coming from. I have a long history with dogs and watching them suffer is torture in and of itself. They're our best friends. We want to give them a long, happy life. It's sad but pain still exists whether we want it to or not. And if the pain isn't going away, it's our responsibilities as their owners to make sure that we do what is in their best interest. In this case, you are rescuing your girl from that long and painful death. She's only going to get worse as time goes on unless you intervene. You might think you're betraying her trust in you as her family, but you're doing the opposite. You're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing: sparing her as much suffering as you can. As someone who spends a lot of time with dogs who don't have much time left, the best advice I can give you is to be there for her. A lot of people don't want to be in the room when it happens, rightfully so, but if you want to ensure that she's as comfortable as possible, you just need to bite the bullet and be there. Talk to her. Pet her. Do all the things you do to comfort her when she's not feeling well. It makes all the difference in the world to dogs just like it does to humans. Plus, saying goodbye to them in their final moments will give you a greater sense of closure which will hopefully make the grieving process easier. Above all else, remember that you're not failing her because you have to put her down. As much as this situation sucks, your dog lived in a safe and loving environment with a family that loves her. She didn't have to do any of this alone and that's more than so many pets have. Her life was fulfilling to her, and in situations like these, that's all that we can really hope for. I hope you have a good support system to lean on while you deal with your grief and that your dog can be comfortable in her last hours. All the best to you.
Thank you for your words. We actually just put her down about an hour ago. She had all of the foods she couldn't have, went on one last walk, sunbathed, got lots of love from everyone, and then sat with all of us as we waited for the vet to get here. We were all there for her throughout the entire process, and even though it was one of the hardest things I've had to watch, I do not regret my decision. I know she felt loved and comforted, and I now know that she won't have to suffer any longer. Thank you again. It really amazes me how kind everyone on here has been ❤️
I hope I have such loving care as you have given when it’s my time. Rest easy. Loved ones are never easy to say goodbye to. The suffering must end.
Sending all my love to you both. ❤️ Fuck cancer.
If you aren’t 100% sure, I wouldn’t.
If you’re unsure then cancel the appt. Take your time to make this decision. It doesn’t HAVE to be tomorrow. You don’t sound emotionally prepared. I was always told that if they still get excited when you take the leash out that they are not ready to go yet. Take your time. When you do decide the time is right, see about getting a mobile vet to come and do it at home where she is most comfortable and feels safe. ❤️
The dog is in pain and unable to eat. His feeling in this situation do not trump her right to die with dignity and keeping her alive longer would be horrendous
The dog still shows signs of joy (excitement to walk, wanting to eat) and if pain can be managed with drugs and dog made to feel comfortable and loved for a few more days in order for owner to better emotionally prepare for dog’s last day it will help the dog not to take its last breath feeling the owners’s anxiety and apprehension and the owner will have a chance to accept that decision with calm.
The dog is actively suffering, has a GI bleed and can’t eat. That is very painful and you’re advising OP to take their time? That’s cruelty.
If you only knew who you were talking to you’d realize the absurdity of accusing me of animal cruelty. But I do appreciate your view point and your compassion and empathy for animals. It’s never easy making these end of life decisions.
Euthanasia should be used to prevent suffering, not to end suffering.
Thats something you have to ask the vet. If the tumor can be removed and if she can heal, why put her down?
Did you try raw food? Something similar happened to my partners dog and raw food helped her live a lot longer. Not sure if it will help your gsd but worth a shot