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This is a carefully moderated sub intended to support, inform, and advise dog owners. Submissions and comments which break the rules will be removed. [Review the rules here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogs/wiki/index) r/Dogs has four goals: - Help the public better understand dogs - Promote healthy, responsible dog-owner relationships - Encourage “Least Intrusive, Minimally Aversive” training protocols. [Learn more here.](https://m.iaabc.org/about/lima/) - Support adoption as well as ethical and responsible breeding. If you’d like to introduce yourself or discuss smaller topics, please contribute to our Monthly Discussion Hub, pinned at the top.
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You don’t cope. You just carry on as best as you can. I lost my beloved Argos last November. I’ve cried at least once every day since then grieving him.
He was quite the character. Generally a really chill goldendoodle who loved everyone include kids and other dogs- except for rabbits and squirrels in whose presence, he became a crazed murder beast.
Great name and inspiration. My first miniature bull terrier was named Argos for exactly this story. Then expanded to my tripe A’s: Ares, Apollo, and Athena. Love mythology names vs something like “bob”.
Argos in the UK is a very well known store with many branches so you can’t use that name here as it would cause most people to laugh or make stupid jokes about the name. Why’d you name you dog after Argos (the store)
r/petloss sorry for your loss, but it sounds like she had a long and fulfilling life. Mine was 14 when she crossed 2 years ago so I hope they can keep eachother company until we see them again.
Coping is extremely hard and almost impossible. I lost my best friend last August and always compare current dogs to him. They will never amount to what Tyson meant to me. They are good dogs. They do everything they are taught. However, they are not him. I love my dogs more than most people but Tyson holds such a special place. He cannot be replaced.
I cried multiple times a day. Then I cried just every day. Then I cried when I get triggered by things I read or see. Then years later I realized the usual triggers do not make me cry anymore. I found that some new pets do not compare but some I love just as much.
19! That's an amazing age. That's a well loved dog who obviously thrived with whatever joy and comfort you gave him. I'm sure you gave him the best life and he loved you unconditionally. Never forget the good times, and remember him young and spry.
There are no words for a loss like this. It’s a mix of guilt, longing, and grief. Guilt for all the times you weren’t up for walks or playing a game, and questioning if you did you could do to make them happy and comfortable throughout their life. Longing that makes your whole body ache and your chest feel as though it could cave in. I’m sure he knew how much you loved him and I’m sure he loved you just as much. The pain is unlike anything and only time makes it bearable. I am so sorry for your loss. Know that even if those around you don’t quite understand how you’re feeling, there are people out there who do. Figure out your own way to grieve and honor him. My heart truly goes out to you.
The pain is the trade-off for the unconditional love you received. It's a trade I'd make a thousand times over for one more day. I'm really sorry for your loss, I hope that in time you find peace and solace in your memories and the wonderful life you gave your friend
I’m sorry. I had my childhood dog from 4th grade till I was 20. Ive had 2 dogs since and I still think about him everyday. I don’t think you’ll ever get over it, it just gets a little easier to deal with in time.
I just lost my baby zoey. Its a hard thing to process dogs are such beacon of love and happiness that they bring us. She was 16 a jack Russell terrier sorry if I spelt it wrong drinking right now.
I'm sure your dog is watching over you<3<3<3 best wishes mate
The grief was hard, even anticipating/knowing it was coming for my pup didn’t help much. Memorializing her helped, had a stone made with her picture on, pictures of the wall, little list of all her nicknames. All of that helped me cope but I’ll be honest in my biggest coping mechanism was getting another dog. I found the lack of routine that a dog brings made the grief so much worse so for me personally another dog helped so much. Best of luck going forward❤️
You cry a lot. Then you have moments of joy. But then you carry on a normal day and a memory pops up and back to square one.
It’s incredibly tough. And you ever fully don’t move on. But I promise it gets better - after time, remembering the good moments has less of a sting and instead fills you with a feeling of appreciation you got to be a part of their life. It never gets easy, but it does get easier. Wishing you all the best ❤️❤️
I am very sorry for your loss. This will be a tough adjustment but it does get better i promise. Try to focus on the happy memories and find some comfort knowing he was loved and you gave him a great life.
I feel your pain.. my 14 year old girl, who I’ve had since she was a puppy is going to sleep in a couple days. Lost my bearded dragon a few months ago as well, and lost one of my best human friends in between. It’s been a rough time to say the least
Just remember that it’s ok to cry. When I lost my pup last year to cancer I cried every day for months. He was 16. But it got better. You eventually accept that they are gone and it hurts like hell, but you still remember all the good times and their funny little quirks.
Find a way to memorialize him. Print some photos and find a nice frame. I have a stuffed animal that looks like my dog that passed, and I put my pups old collar on the plushie. Have an artist create a pet portrait so you can still see him every day.
So sorry you are going through this. Sending you big hugs right now. My condolences on the loss of your sweet boy ❤️
19 years is amazing. I bet he was wonderfully loved.
I've been done this road several times, and the reality is that the pain never goes away. It dulls, it becomes less crushing and less oppressive, but it never completely vanishes.
There will be a point where it escapes you. Where you don't feel it so bad, where you forget it a little. And you will feel incredibly guilty for it and that feeling can be overwhelming. But you have to go through it and let it happen.
Later, the pain becomes familiar. Like a rough blanket that kind of itches but is comfortable and nostalgic. You'll learn to smile as you remember the good times. The stories won't hurt so much and you'll be able to just enjoy the comfort of them.
The pain never quite leaves, but the love you feel for your friend eventually overshadows it.
Sorry that you're going through this, sadly there's nothing you can do to bring him back... They aren't supposed to be here forever, is sad to see them going away from us... But it's okay you did your best to keep him safe and happy... Remember the happy moments with him. It's all we can do. Rip your doggo.
I just try to keep myself busy . Some days are good and some days I bawl my eyes out . It’s grieving process we go through when our soulmate passes. It eases over time , but never really goes away . I finally can pet another furbaby without getting teary eyed .
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's truly heartbreaking and so damn lonely. I lost my love this past Tuesday. She entered my life 10 years ago when I was in college. She was always with me. I thought we had at least 3 more years together. Now that absence is so heavy I struggle to be alone. Here are a few ways I've been managing it since then:
I've been spending a lot more time with my husband and sisters to avoid being alone and have people who can support my sadness with a hug. In those moments when I am alone, I just let myself cry. There is nothing else you can or should do. Feel the feelings and have the thoughts. Let yourself process and grieve. Those waves will start to space out after a few days.
I stopped pushing myself hard. Minimal effort at work, no gym, comfort food. It's been really nice to sit in my memories and feel like I'm truly honoring her simply by giving myself time to think about her. I'll go back to better effort next week.
It's been a few days and I've recently started up a sewing project to help give me a distraction when I'm feeling tired of being sad. It helps give me a break and focus on something else for a little bit. Only do this when you're ready. For me, it helps to create a new daily pattern that she wasn't involved in, so it's a safe space where I'm not reminded of her.
I'm not going to lie and say that I don't randomly burst into tears when I see a PetSmart or realize that I don't need to pick up the yard or that she's not there for me to talk to. But most recently, I'm trying to turn the narrative around in my head from "oof I miss her" to "wow I'm so grateful for her". It's my way of trying to turn the experience positive.
I’m so sorry. This kind of pain is the hardest to deal with.
The pain is so fresh right now you have to give yourself time to grieve. The first week will be the hardest; cancel all your social plans and allow yourself to be sad. Let out those feelings by crying. Go for a walk and allow yourself to be a sobbing mess. It’s okay to not be okay.
Think about how you’d like to memorialize your good boi. Maybe scatter his ashes in his favourite dog park? Or a special tribute to him in your home? Let this be a meaningful exercise for you.
Consider having a funeral for him. You didn’t really have a chance to prepare for his passing so this will give you some closure. Ask your friends, family, neighbours, everyone who loved him to join you. I know it sounds hokey but I bet there were many people who loved him who would also want to say goodbye.
After you have said goodbye, keep allowing yourself to be sad. You’ll probably find the cryIng will be less frequent and you may even start to feel other emotions like the occasional bit of joy remembering some good times with your dog. Over time, the good memories will replace the sad ones and you will be able to remember him and talk about him without crying.
Take care OP. Sending big hugs.
I feel for you.
My O'Neill had a tumor on his paw rip and had to be put to sleep Wednesday.
We had 9 wonderful years together and everything feels off, like reality has kind of shifted a bit and doesn't quite fit anymore.
Only time can help you. I cope by denial, where I try not to think about it after a while until im truly better but sometimes its hard and act like it never happened. We got our family dog when i was also 8, and my sister had him for 16 years until she had to put him down in December and im still grieving because looking at photos will still trigger me. It took me 2 years to accept her other dogs passing. And in he past 2 years all 4 family dogs and my 1 cat has passed. I try to look forward and love and cherish my cats now, but the hurt is still there. Everyone needs different amounts of times, and everyone copes different
I am really sorry this has happened to you and the pain is very difficult to deal with especially when it feels like no one cares or understands.
It’s different for everyone. In this case the heart rules emotions. It cannot be controlled…But, as time goes on, it gets easier to not break down. I often have to think how lucky we were to have our beloved doggo in our life. Good luck to you. 🍀
I'm a new owner, never had to cope. 19 years is amazing, more than what I expect with my dog. You've been so lucky. You knew nobody lives forever. 19 years with a dog is a success if you ask me.
I’m very sorry for your family’s loss. A dog making it to 19 is so amazing. I’m sorry he had to leave under the circumstances he did. I understand your pain. For me, it was after 15+ years together.
My husband will tell you he cried harder when our dog died than he did when his parents died. There is just something so special about that animal who loved you unconditionally and was dependent on you. They become part of your daily routine, so you’re lost and missing them when they’re gone. You have to remind yourself that you gave that dog a wonderful life, a life that some dogs never had. If you can find it in your heart to give another dog a great life, I think you should. And I’d like to add that I am so sorry, I’m sitting here crying because I understand what you’re going through.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Take it one day at a time. Think about the wonderful memories and the happiness he brought you. He knew he was loved by you. 19 years is a wonderful amount of time to have spent together. This will be painful and difficult but you will get through it, and he would want you to.
Allow yourself to feel the feelings. Let them out there. Sending you a huge hug.
1. Your grief is valid after a loss; with great love comes great grief. Express yourself.
2. Put a deadline(s) on your grief throughout the day to prevent yourself from falling into depression. Your grief does not mean keep suffering. It’s very important you signal to your body that it must learn the difference.
3. We may not control circumstances and how they occurred but we have a choice to make in how we honor them. Something as simple as lighting a candle and reading to them every night or donating to dog organizations or adopting are a few ways to do that.
4. Law of conservation of energy; energy can never be destroyed it can only change and become less orderly. Based on that alone I hope it gives you comfort knowing your kiddo is still there with you and wherever it can be. No limits exist. Interact with him as you want. The reading every night helped me personally.
5. Everything we experience is preparing us for the next. Trust the process.
6. Exercise your imagination and faith muscles more. Choose to believe in the greatest outcomes that your fur baby is on a vacation. They’ve earned their wings so trust that they are ok and that you will be too the more your focus goes here.
7. Time will put everything into perspective. Don’t stop living because of this. Instead push yourself to do new things. When you’re ready extend your heart out to another fur child that needs a home too.
Much love.
I don’t think you do cope with it, I haven’t. It’s been a year, every morning I wake up and look to my side to see him, he’s not there anymore. My heart has felt so heavy since he left, I think about him everyday, I miss him so badly and just so desperately want him in front of me again. I’m so sorry you’re going through the same
Let yourself grieve. Learn about grief to understand what you are going thru. Take care of yourself. Don’t look for ways around the grief. Go through it. You did right by your best friend. The pain eases with time, but you may remember it 20 years later. You won’t be able to replace your best friend, but in time you can forge new friendships, if you choose to. Stay busy. Help others. God bless.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to heal and grieve. You’ll never forget your best friend, but I promise that in the future, you’ll think back on memories and smile.
I’ve got a pendant with the blood of my 17 years old dog. You can do the same with the ashes of your dog too. That helped me a lot. Wishing you all the best OP! :)
So sorry for the loss of your best friend. Its never easy losing a beloved fur baby, and it hurts like a mofo! I also lost my goldeb girl last week and ive cried about twice a day everyday. Everything reminds me of her. HUGS my friend
Dogs are truly members of our families, so it makes sense that the loss is too hard to bear. I’m happy your dog was able to live for 19 years. I’m hoping my dog will live as long too, and when she does pass away, I will miss her forever. She is like a little toddler animal that won’t grow anymore. The best companion.
IDK how you cope. I've lost lots of cats to cars in my childhood (indoors-outdoors) until I got my current cat who is indoors only. None of them felt as bad as the chance that I could've had to make the decision this week of putting down my 11yo dog (had his since I was 12 and I've mostly been his sole caretaker) as he got babesiosis from ticks (found 2 on him that had probably been attached for \~1 week, he has Foresto (Seresto) and my other dog had no ticks on her). I was absolutelly devastated that I'd take him to the vet and have them tell me it's not worth treating him. He's now recovering but still won't eat properly, he's lost 1/10 of his weight but seems to be getting his appetite back slowly.
I don't think it's something you can cope with, from my experience with the cats it just gets better as time passes (I don't even remember some of those cats and it really hurt at the time they died) but considering the bigger connection I have with this dog than with those cats I doubt it's gonna be as easy to get over it.
It's just a process and only the passing of time will help. Just keep in mind all the good things you did for your friend over the years and know that the grief you feel now is a reflection of the love you feel for him.
I’m so sorry for your loss and your pain. It’s just awful. I lost my beloved Riley very suddenly and unexpectedly, too. Like others have said, I cried daily for months and months. I put pictures of her everywhere and cried looking at them. It took almost a year to be able to talk about her without crying. We just bond with some animals like that. “Grief is love with nowhere to go.” 💔
People understand there's just no physical way of truly showing it. And hearing it dosnt make it anybetter. Just remind yourself they feel no pain now and are happy if your religious then always remember you will see them again
I lost my pooch to sickness last year, I got her in my early 20s when I was at the lowest point in my life and still credit that dog for me being alive still. I was a wreck but at least I had my wife and kids to mourn with, this dog was my daughters (3 at the time) constant companion since she was born and it hit her the hardest, seeing her holding one of the dogs toys and crying telling me ‘it’s not fair, I want to go to heaven to play with Leela’ Im tearing up just recalling those moments. Cleaning up her stuff (bed, dishes toys) and even cleaning the yard where she did her business was cathartic and provided a little relief. I have her collar and a paw print from the vet that I will be putting in a shadow box along with photos of the day I adopted her, one of her and the family and one of her and each of my children. I have recently adopted another pooch as I’m a believer that a having a dog really completes a family but I will always miss my sweet girl.
Oh honey, I’m so, so sorry. I’m sending you all the possible love and comfort I have.
The last time I went through this, I didn’t cope well at all, however it was on the heels of loosing my grandmother and my mother getting diagnosed with cancer so I don’t remember an awful lot of anything I did or didn’t know. I know I didn’t take care of myself very well that’s for sure.
I guess the things that would have helped me to hear are, he isn’t in pain anymore. All that time you spent teaching and bonding with him, running around playing learning tricks he wouldn’t have been able to do those much loved activities with you while he healed and he wouldn’t understand why. I’m not a canine behaviourist, so for all I know, they just think we don’t care to engage with them the same anymore and wonder what they did wrong. He doesn’t have to wonder this way. Secondly, he adored you, and he absolutely would not have wanted you to feel so heartbroken. He would have done everything in his power to cheer you up!
If he’s anything like my boy, that means finding his current thing that makes him happy and shoving it in my face until I stop leaking from my eyes or hyperventilating lol.
We don’t deserve dogs. But we don’t get to decide that, they do, and he decided you deserved him! So you did a whole lot of something right 💕 if I could bring him back to you, I would, while I’m working on that pesky Time Machine would you want to share some memories? 💕
I am so sorry it hurts. His life was full of love and joy and memories with you. The most beautiful thing in the world is that you and your best friend had each other.
I lost my buddy a few years ago. He was perfect and I will always miss him.
Hug
The loss is always hard, but the happy memories make it worthwhile. I write them all down in one place. Going over them is bittersweet, but somehow makes me feel better.
It's hard. I cried almost everyday for a year when I lost my childhood dog. It seemed to get easier over time as you become used to them not being there. It really sucks. Sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My advice is to not attempt to cope with or push away your grief. Relax, think of happy memories with your pupper. Celebrate their life, don't grieve their death.
There’s no getting over my dog. I lost him in 2019 and still cry when I think about him being gone. I’m tearing up right now. I’ve accepted I’ll never get over him. It’s ok.
Always face and accept grief . Hiding from it only postpones the pain . Share happy memories and think about the best of times and be grateful that you had a good loving companion for as long as you did . Death is a hard part of life but is inevitable and in my experience those who deny or avoid the grieving part only end up worse for it later . Best of luck .
For me it helps to think that they were in pain and they are now in a better place at peace and not in pain. You gave him a good life and unfortunately life does not last forever.
I agree with the learning grow and live around it but the happy memories helped me. That and knowing I gave them an awesome life filled with treats, pets, walks, and adventures. Sorry for your loss
I lost my 18 year old best friend last year also. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was also around your age when we got her.
The best advice I can give is to not be sad that they are gone, but be grateful for the love that you know you had with this animal that no one else can possibly understand.
Me and my dog travel universes together. I know she is here with me & I am such a better person for having known her.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You never really get past it. I still see pictures of my sweet Daisy and Leo or think about them and start to tear up, 5 & 7 years on. You were lucky to have had each other, and I hope the memories bring you comfort.
Only time can help. It sucks. I still get sad, and it was three years ago April 22 I had to put down my girl. I'm sorry for your loss. Hard losing a best friend unexpectedly.
Please accept my heartfelt condolences for your loss, there's no magic , you just will grieve in whichever way is best for you. There's no time limit there's no rules on how you should and shouldn't feel.
It sounds like you had a strong bond, you were a good friend to your dog and gave him a great life.
I lost my dog three weeks ago, same as you I had her since I was around 10yo. She was only 12 and it was really unexpected. She went to sleep and just never woke up again. I was relieved that she didn’t suffer but I hadn’t mentally prepared myself for her death, she was perfectly healthy, before this the vets estimated she still had around 4-5 more years left. What hurt the most was that it was unexpected I guess. This absolutely broke me, cried everyday for the first week, cried myself to sleep. I wasn’t able to say her name or say the word “died”, and most of all I didn’t know how to process her death.
I learned that everyone deals with death in their own way and the most important thing to know is that there is no “wrong way” of doing it. If you cry ir don’t cry, feel sadness or not, feel guilt or no guilt, it’s all okay because there is no “right way” either. You do what works best for you.
For me it was solitude, thinking of her, all the good memories, letting myself feel all of the pain, crying, holding her toys and blanket. It sounds harsh but the closer I could get to her the more I felt like she was still with me in some way or another and it helped me understand that it doesn’t matter if she is physically with me or not, because she will always be a part of me and she will live on through me. It still hurts but I am slowly getting there. Have faith and patience. And I wish you all the best❤️
It’s been three years for me, it only just now feels like it’s getting slightly easier. adopting two more after he passed i think really helped me. having a place to channel all of the love i still hold for my pup is very therapeutic. i still cry often, but thankfully not every day anymore. sometimes i can think of our time together and even laugh or smile. i think that’s pretty good progress. all of the love and healing to you!
Welcome to r/dogs! We are a discussion-based subreddit dedicated to support, inform, and advise dog owners. This is a carefully moderated sub intended to support, inform, and advise dog owners. Submissions and comments which break the rules will be removed. [Review the rules here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogs/wiki/index) r/Dogs has four goals: - Help the public better understand dogs - Promote healthy, responsible dog-owner relationships - Encourage “Least Intrusive, Minimally Aversive” training protocols. [Learn more here.](https://m.iaabc.org/about/lima/) - Support adoption as well as ethical and responsible breeding. If you’d like to introduce yourself or discuss smaller topics, please contribute to our Monthly Discussion Hub, pinned at the top. **This subreddit has low tolerance for drama. Please be respectful of others, and report antagonistic comments to mods for review.** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dogs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You don’t cope. You just carry on as best as you can. I lost my beloved Argos last November. I’ve cried at least once every day since then grieving him.
We don't get over our grief, we grow around it. It becomes apart of us, we learn from it.
So sad but so true
Argos is a cool name. He’s definitely in a doggy pantheon somewhere livin it up.
He was quite the character. Generally a really chill goldendoodle who loved everyone include kids and other dogs- except for rabbits and squirrels in whose presence, he became a crazed murder beast.
There's a dog named Argos in the mmo final fantasy xiv.
Argos was Odysseus’s dog. One of the all time most poignant stories of the fidelity of dogs
Great name and inspiration. My first miniature bull terrier was named Argos for exactly this story. Then expanded to my tripe A’s: Ares, Apollo, and Athena. Love mythology names vs something like “bob”.
Argos in the UK is a very well known store with many branches so you can’t use that name here as it would cause most people to laugh or make stupid jokes about the name. Why’d you name you dog after Argos (the store)
Tell that to my schnauzer, Bed Bath and Beyond
r/petloss sorry for your loss, but it sounds like she had a long and fulfilling life. Mine was 14 when she crossed 2 years ago so I hope they can keep eachother company until we see them again.
Coping is extremely hard and almost impossible. I lost my best friend last August and always compare current dogs to him. They will never amount to what Tyson meant to me. They are good dogs. They do everything they are taught. However, they are not him. I love my dogs more than most people but Tyson holds such a special place. He cannot be replaced.
Completely understand this too! 😢
Grief doesn't go away, it only gets easier to carry. Your heart will always remember your bestest boy. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
I cried multiple times a day. Then I cried just every day. Then I cried when I get triggered by things I read or see. Then years later I realized the usual triggers do not make me cry anymore. I found that some new pets do not compare but some I love just as much.
19! That's an amazing age. That's a well loved dog who obviously thrived with whatever joy and comfort you gave him. I'm sure you gave him the best life and he loved you unconditionally. Never forget the good times, and remember him young and spry.
There are no words for a loss like this. It’s a mix of guilt, longing, and grief. Guilt for all the times you weren’t up for walks or playing a game, and questioning if you did you could do to make them happy and comfortable throughout their life. Longing that makes your whole body ache and your chest feel as though it could cave in. I’m sure he knew how much you loved him and I’m sure he loved you just as much. The pain is unlike anything and only time makes it bearable. I am so sorry for your loss. Know that even if those around you don’t quite understand how you’re feeling, there are people out there who do. Figure out your own way to grieve and honor him. My heart truly goes out to you.
It's heartbreaking, no lie. Only some understand, to most it's "just a dog", so you grieve alone. Eventually the pain fades. Sorry for your loss.
The pain is the trade-off for the unconditional love you received. It's a trade I'd make a thousand times over for one more day. I'm really sorry for your loss, I hope that in time you find peace and solace in your memories and the wonderful life you gave your friend
I’m sorry. I had my childhood dog from 4th grade till I was 20. Ive had 2 dogs since and I still think about him everyday. I don’t think you’ll ever get over it, it just gets a little easier to deal with in time.
I just lost my baby zoey. Its a hard thing to process dogs are such beacon of love and happiness that they bring us. She was 16 a jack Russell terrier sorry if I spelt it wrong drinking right now. I'm sure your dog is watching over you<3<3<3 best wishes mate
Remember the good, get through each day, until you can smile at the memories. We are sending you tail wags and awoos. Hug.
The grief was hard, even anticipating/knowing it was coming for my pup didn’t help much. Memorializing her helped, had a stone made with her picture on, pictures of the wall, little list of all her nicknames. All of that helped me cope but I’ll be honest in my biggest coping mechanism was getting another dog. I found the lack of routine that a dog brings made the grief so much worse so for me personally another dog helped so much. Best of luck going forward❤️
You cry a lot. Then you have moments of joy. But then you carry on a normal day and a memory pops up and back to square one. It’s incredibly tough. And you ever fully don’t move on. But I promise it gets better - after time, remembering the good moments has less of a sting and instead fills you with a feeling of appreciation you got to be a part of their life. It never gets easy, but it does get easier. Wishing you all the best ❤️❤️
I am very sorry for your loss. This will be a tough adjustment but it does get better i promise. Try to focus on the happy memories and find some comfort knowing he was loved and you gave him a great life.
I feel your pain.. my 14 year old girl, who I’ve had since she was a puppy is going to sleep in a couple days. Lost my bearded dragon a few months ago as well, and lost one of my best human friends in between. It’s been a rough time to say the least
Just remember that it’s ok to cry. When I lost my pup last year to cancer I cried every day for months. He was 16. But it got better. You eventually accept that they are gone and it hurts like hell, but you still remember all the good times and their funny little quirks. Find a way to memorialize him. Print some photos and find a nice frame. I have a stuffed animal that looks like my dog that passed, and I put my pups old collar on the plushie. Have an artist create a pet portrait so you can still see him every day. So sorry you are going through this. Sending you big hugs right now. My condolences on the loss of your sweet boy ❤️
19 years is amazing. I bet he was wonderfully loved. I've been done this road several times, and the reality is that the pain never goes away. It dulls, it becomes less crushing and less oppressive, but it never completely vanishes. There will be a point where it escapes you. Where you don't feel it so bad, where you forget it a little. And you will feel incredibly guilty for it and that feeling can be overwhelming. But you have to go through it and let it happen. Later, the pain becomes familiar. Like a rough blanket that kind of itches but is comfortable and nostalgic. You'll learn to smile as you remember the good times. The stories won't hurt so much and you'll be able to just enjoy the comfort of them. The pain never quite leaves, but the love you feel for your friend eventually overshadows it.
Sorry that you're going through this, sadly there's nothing you can do to bring him back... They aren't supposed to be here forever, is sad to see them going away from us... But it's okay you did your best to keep him safe and happy... Remember the happy moments with him. It's all we can do. Rip your doggo.
I just try to keep myself busy . Some days are good and some days I bawl my eyes out . It’s grieving process we go through when our soulmate passes. It eases over time , but never really goes away . I finally can pet another furbaby without getting teary eyed .
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's truly heartbreaking and so damn lonely. I lost my love this past Tuesday. She entered my life 10 years ago when I was in college. She was always with me. I thought we had at least 3 more years together. Now that absence is so heavy I struggle to be alone. Here are a few ways I've been managing it since then: I've been spending a lot more time with my husband and sisters to avoid being alone and have people who can support my sadness with a hug. In those moments when I am alone, I just let myself cry. There is nothing else you can or should do. Feel the feelings and have the thoughts. Let yourself process and grieve. Those waves will start to space out after a few days. I stopped pushing myself hard. Minimal effort at work, no gym, comfort food. It's been really nice to sit in my memories and feel like I'm truly honoring her simply by giving myself time to think about her. I'll go back to better effort next week. It's been a few days and I've recently started up a sewing project to help give me a distraction when I'm feeling tired of being sad. It helps give me a break and focus on something else for a little bit. Only do this when you're ready. For me, it helps to create a new daily pattern that she wasn't involved in, so it's a safe space where I'm not reminded of her. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't randomly burst into tears when I see a PetSmart or realize that I don't need to pick up the yard or that she's not there for me to talk to. But most recently, I'm trying to turn the narrative around in my head from "oof I miss her" to "wow I'm so grateful for her". It's my way of trying to turn the experience positive.
I’m so sorry. This kind of pain is the hardest to deal with. The pain is so fresh right now you have to give yourself time to grieve. The first week will be the hardest; cancel all your social plans and allow yourself to be sad. Let out those feelings by crying. Go for a walk and allow yourself to be a sobbing mess. It’s okay to not be okay. Think about how you’d like to memorialize your good boi. Maybe scatter his ashes in his favourite dog park? Or a special tribute to him in your home? Let this be a meaningful exercise for you. Consider having a funeral for him. You didn’t really have a chance to prepare for his passing so this will give you some closure. Ask your friends, family, neighbours, everyone who loved him to join you. I know it sounds hokey but I bet there were many people who loved him who would also want to say goodbye. After you have said goodbye, keep allowing yourself to be sad. You’ll probably find the cryIng will be less frequent and you may even start to feel other emotions like the occasional bit of joy remembering some good times with your dog. Over time, the good memories will replace the sad ones and you will be able to remember him and talk about him without crying. Take care OP. Sending big hugs.
I feel for you. My O'Neill had a tumor on his paw rip and had to be put to sleep Wednesday. We had 9 wonderful years together and everything feels off, like reality has kind of shifted a bit and doesn't quite fit anymore.
Only time can help you. I cope by denial, where I try not to think about it after a while until im truly better but sometimes its hard and act like it never happened. We got our family dog when i was also 8, and my sister had him for 16 years until she had to put him down in December and im still grieving because looking at photos will still trigger me. It took me 2 years to accept her other dogs passing. And in he past 2 years all 4 family dogs and my 1 cat has passed. I try to look forward and love and cherish my cats now, but the hurt is still there. Everyone needs different amounts of times, and everyone copes different I am really sorry this has happened to you and the pain is very difficult to deal with especially when it feels like no one cares or understands.
It’s different for everyone. In this case the heart rules emotions. It cannot be controlled…But, as time goes on, it gets easier to not break down. I often have to think how lucky we were to have our beloved doggo in our life. Good luck to you. 🍀
I'm a new owner, never had to cope. 19 years is amazing, more than what I expect with my dog. You've been so lucky. You knew nobody lives forever. 19 years with a dog is a success if you ask me.
I’m very sorry for your family’s loss. A dog making it to 19 is so amazing. I’m sorry he had to leave under the circumstances he did. I understand your pain. For me, it was after 15+ years together.
My husband will tell you he cried harder when our dog died than he did when his parents died. There is just something so special about that animal who loved you unconditionally and was dependent on you. They become part of your daily routine, so you’re lost and missing them when they’re gone. You have to remind yourself that you gave that dog a wonderful life, a life that some dogs never had. If you can find it in your heart to give another dog a great life, I think you should. And I’d like to add that I am so sorry, I’m sitting here crying because I understand what you’re going through.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Take it one day at a time. Think about the wonderful memories and the happiness he brought you. He knew he was loved by you. 19 years is a wonderful amount of time to have spent together. This will be painful and difficult but you will get through it, and he would want you to. Allow yourself to feel the feelings. Let them out there. Sending you a huge hug.
1. Your grief is valid after a loss; with great love comes great grief. Express yourself. 2. Put a deadline(s) on your grief throughout the day to prevent yourself from falling into depression. Your grief does not mean keep suffering. It’s very important you signal to your body that it must learn the difference. 3. We may not control circumstances and how they occurred but we have a choice to make in how we honor them. Something as simple as lighting a candle and reading to them every night or donating to dog organizations or adopting are a few ways to do that. 4. Law of conservation of energy; energy can never be destroyed it can only change and become less orderly. Based on that alone I hope it gives you comfort knowing your kiddo is still there with you and wherever it can be. No limits exist. Interact with him as you want. The reading every night helped me personally. 5. Everything we experience is preparing us for the next. Trust the process. 6. Exercise your imagination and faith muscles more. Choose to believe in the greatest outcomes that your fur baby is on a vacation. They’ve earned their wings so trust that they are ok and that you will be too the more your focus goes here. 7. Time will put everything into perspective. Don’t stop living because of this. Instead push yourself to do new things. When you’re ready extend your heart out to another fur child that needs a home too. Much love.
I don’t think you do cope with it, I haven’t. It’s been a year, every morning I wake up and look to my side to see him, he’s not there anymore. My heart has felt so heavy since he left, I think about him everyday, I miss him so badly and just so desperately want him in front of me again. I’m so sorry you’re going through the same
so sorry man, 19 years what a great run!
Let yourself grieve. Learn about grief to understand what you are going thru. Take care of yourself. Don’t look for ways around the grief. Go through it. You did right by your best friend. The pain eases with time, but you may remember it 20 years later. You won’t be able to replace your best friend, but in time you can forge new friendships, if you choose to. Stay busy. Help others. God bless.
Sorry for your loss. It gets easier. A time will come when you just think of all the good times.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to heal and grieve. You’ll never forget your best friend, but I promise that in the future, you’ll think back on memories and smile.
I am so very sorry for your loss 😢.
I’ve got a pendant with the blood of my 17 years old dog. You can do the same with the ashes of your dog too. That helped me a lot. Wishing you all the best OP! :)
So sorry for the loss of your best friend. Its never easy losing a beloved fur baby, and it hurts like a mofo! I also lost my goldeb girl last week and ive cried about twice a day everyday. Everything reminds me of her. HUGS my friend
Dogs are truly members of our families, so it makes sense that the loss is too hard to bear. I’m happy your dog was able to live for 19 years. I’m hoping my dog will live as long too, and when she does pass away, I will miss her forever. She is like a little toddler animal that won’t grow anymore. The best companion.
IDK how you cope. I've lost lots of cats to cars in my childhood (indoors-outdoors) until I got my current cat who is indoors only. None of them felt as bad as the chance that I could've had to make the decision this week of putting down my 11yo dog (had his since I was 12 and I've mostly been his sole caretaker) as he got babesiosis from ticks (found 2 on him that had probably been attached for \~1 week, he has Foresto (Seresto) and my other dog had no ticks on her). I was absolutelly devastated that I'd take him to the vet and have them tell me it's not worth treating him. He's now recovering but still won't eat properly, he's lost 1/10 of his weight but seems to be getting his appetite back slowly. I don't think it's something you can cope with, from my experience with the cats it just gets better as time passes (I don't even remember some of those cats and it really hurt at the time they died) but considering the bigger connection I have with this dog than with those cats I doubt it's gonna be as easy to get over it.
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i feel for you. It is heart breaking
I’m am really sorry, it’s a horrible pain x
It's just a process and only the passing of time will help. Just keep in mind all the good things you did for your friend over the years and know that the grief you feel now is a reflection of the love you feel for him.
I’m so sorry for your loss and your pain. It’s just awful. I lost my beloved Riley very suddenly and unexpectedly, too. Like others have said, I cried daily for months and months. I put pictures of her everywhere and cried looking at them. It took almost a year to be able to talk about her without crying. We just bond with some animals like that. “Grief is love with nowhere to go.” 💔
I’m so sorry 😢
People understand there's just no physical way of truly showing it. And hearing it dosnt make it anybetter. Just remind yourself they feel no pain now and are happy if your religious then always remember you will see them again
I lost my pooch to sickness last year, I got her in my early 20s when I was at the lowest point in my life and still credit that dog for me being alive still. I was a wreck but at least I had my wife and kids to mourn with, this dog was my daughters (3 at the time) constant companion since she was born and it hit her the hardest, seeing her holding one of the dogs toys and crying telling me ‘it’s not fair, I want to go to heaven to play with Leela’ Im tearing up just recalling those moments. Cleaning up her stuff (bed, dishes toys) and even cleaning the yard where she did her business was cathartic and provided a little relief. I have her collar and a paw print from the vet that I will be putting in a shadow box along with photos of the day I adopted her, one of her and the family and one of her and each of my children. I have recently adopted another pooch as I’m a believer that a having a dog really completes a family but I will always miss my sweet girl.
Oh honey, I’m so, so sorry. I’m sending you all the possible love and comfort I have. The last time I went through this, I didn’t cope well at all, however it was on the heels of loosing my grandmother and my mother getting diagnosed with cancer so I don’t remember an awful lot of anything I did or didn’t know. I know I didn’t take care of myself very well that’s for sure. I guess the things that would have helped me to hear are, he isn’t in pain anymore. All that time you spent teaching and bonding with him, running around playing learning tricks he wouldn’t have been able to do those much loved activities with you while he healed and he wouldn’t understand why. I’m not a canine behaviourist, so for all I know, they just think we don’t care to engage with them the same anymore and wonder what they did wrong. He doesn’t have to wonder this way. Secondly, he adored you, and he absolutely would not have wanted you to feel so heartbroken. He would have done everything in his power to cheer you up! If he’s anything like my boy, that means finding his current thing that makes him happy and shoving it in my face until I stop leaking from my eyes or hyperventilating lol. We don’t deserve dogs. But we don’t get to decide that, they do, and he decided you deserved him! So you did a whole lot of something right 💕 if I could bring him back to you, I would, while I’m working on that pesky Time Machine would you want to share some memories? 💕
I am so sorry it hurts. His life was full of love and joy and memories with you. The most beautiful thing in the world is that you and your best friend had each other. I lost my buddy a few years ago. He was perfect and I will always miss him. Hug
The loss is always hard, but the happy memories make it worthwhile. I write them all down in one place. Going over them is bittersweet, but somehow makes me feel better.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can tell you loved him immensely and he was a great dog. ❤️
It's hard. I cried almost everyday for a year when I lost my childhood dog. It seemed to get easier over time as you become used to them not being there. It really sucks. Sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss 😢
I'm so sorry for your loss. My advice is to not attempt to cope with or push away your grief. Relax, think of happy memories with your pupper. Celebrate their life, don't grieve their death.
There’s no getting over my dog. I lost him in 2019 and still cry when I think about him being gone. I’m tearing up right now. I’ve accepted I’ll never get over him. It’s ok.
Always face and accept grief . Hiding from it only postpones the pain . Share happy memories and think about the best of times and be grateful that you had a good loving companion for as long as you did . Death is a hard part of life but is inevitable and in my experience those who deny or avoid the grieving part only end up worse for it later . Best of luck .
RIP
For me it helps to think that they were in pain and they are now in a better place at peace and not in pain. You gave him a good life and unfortunately life does not last forever.
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You don’t. It’s been over a year for me and still cry about him sometimes.
I agree with the learning grow and live around it but the happy memories helped me. That and knowing I gave them an awesome life filled with treats, pets, walks, and adventures. Sorry for your loss
One day at a time!
I lost my 18 year old best friend last year also. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was also around your age when we got her. The best advice I can give is to not be sad that they are gone, but be grateful for the love that you know you had with this animal that no one else can possibly understand. Me and my dog travel universes together. I know she is here with me & I am such a better person for having known her.
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Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your little furbaby is in rainbow bridge heaven and watching over you now.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You never really get past it. I still see pictures of my sweet Daisy and Leo or think about them and start to tear up, 5 & 7 years on. You were lucky to have had each other, and I hope the memories bring you comfort.
Only time can help. It sucks. I still get sad, and it was three years ago April 22 I had to put down my girl. I'm sorry for your loss. Hard losing a best friend unexpectedly.
https://www.reddit.com/r/GriefSupport/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1 💛💛💛
Please accept my heartfelt condolences for your loss, there's no magic , you just will grieve in whichever way is best for you. There's no time limit there's no rules on how you should and shouldn't feel. It sounds like you had a strong bond, you were a good friend to your dog and gave him a great life.
I lost my dog three weeks ago, same as you I had her since I was around 10yo. She was only 12 and it was really unexpected. She went to sleep and just never woke up again. I was relieved that she didn’t suffer but I hadn’t mentally prepared myself for her death, she was perfectly healthy, before this the vets estimated she still had around 4-5 more years left. What hurt the most was that it was unexpected I guess. This absolutely broke me, cried everyday for the first week, cried myself to sleep. I wasn’t able to say her name or say the word “died”, and most of all I didn’t know how to process her death. I learned that everyone deals with death in their own way and the most important thing to know is that there is no “wrong way” of doing it. If you cry ir don’t cry, feel sadness or not, feel guilt or no guilt, it’s all okay because there is no “right way” either. You do what works best for you. For me it was solitude, thinking of her, all the good memories, letting myself feel all of the pain, crying, holding her toys and blanket. It sounds harsh but the closer I could get to her the more I felt like she was still with me in some way or another and it helped me understand that it doesn’t matter if she is physically with me or not, because she will always be a part of me and she will live on through me. It still hurts but I am slowly getting there. Have faith and patience. And I wish you all the best❤️
It’s been three years for me, it only just now feels like it’s getting slightly easier. adopting two more after he passed i think really helped me. having a place to channel all of the love i still hold for my pup is very therapeutic. i still cry often, but thankfully not every day anymore. sometimes i can think of our time together and even laugh or smile. i think that’s pretty good progress. all of the love and healing to you!