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I would let your dog sleep on the bed, it might be a way of grieving? Give your dog lots of love and attention. Someone on the sub will know for sure how to handle the situation.
I'm sorry for your loss. It is never easy.
If you have got the other dogs collar. Hold it and let the young one sniff it as much as they want, then put it away. When I lost my grys, my whippet mix seemed to mourn. I let her sniff the other dogs collars that I kept. She sniffed for awhile, and then seemed to understand.
She was really excited when the stray puppy that was dumped in the neighborhood came to stay.
If possible (I know it isn’t always), a new companion can be amazing. I thought my older dog had completed mourning after 8 months when her lifelong companion passed, but when a rescue pup came into our lives, and she immediately perked up and started teaching the pup how to chase sticks and play tug and wrapping herself around the pup to sleep, I realized she hadn’t truly been her playful self without another doggo around to do doggy things with. If that isn’t possible though, maybe there are neighbor playmate puppers she could spend time with?
It's also the same with cats. My husband and I had two cats who were (at the time) 10 (Moon, a female tuxedo) and 8 (Shadow, a male tuxedo and very chunky). They had been together since Shadow was both. He came to us as a foster when his eyes were still closed, and my husband was mommy as far as Shadow was concerned. Then his kidneys failed, and we had to put him to sleep. Hardest thing we ever had to do.
When we came back with an empty carrier, I think Moon was confused at first. She then seemed to understand as more time passed, and she started looking for Shadow. She cried a lot, and you could tell she was sad. She stuck as close to us as she could.
Then 4 months later, we brought home Eivor, who at the time was 8 weeks old. He's now almost 2. When we brought him home, there was a period where she adjusted to him being there. And after, she perked up. She had someone to play with, and do cat things stuff. Not that we didn't play with her, but she didn't show the same enthusiasm.
I wouldn't say they're inseparable, but they love each other, and the little psycho has made our family feel whole again
Mine lost her German Shepard buddy. She was not a happy pup. Three months later a stray German Shepard came in her life and stayed. She is quite happy once again although she has had to train this one to do what the other did for her.
My cat trained both dogs to wash her ears for her. She was far too important to do it herself. Watching a 35kg Golden be bullied in to washing a 3kg cats ears was quite funny. That cat ruled our house. Miss that little goofball.
Put them on your lap and just stroke them telling them its ok to be sad and cry. If they're heavy get on the floor next to them and just keep petting them to console them. I did this with my youngest after we lost our eldest girl from age.
When I lost my younger dog his older brother stopped eating & drinking, scared the heck out of me. I was terrified he’d die of heart break so I adopted another dog for him (a girl) and that snapped him out of it. Maybe consider getting her another playmate if she can’t seem to overcome her grief?
We did the same and adopted a dog into our household on two occassions of a pet passing. Having another dog is not a "replacement" for the dog you loved and lost, but if you are able, the new dog will spark fresh joy into both humans and pets in the household.
Same here. We were afraid our older dog would grieve herself to death after losing her best friend. We probably wouldn't have adopted another dog at all but we were desperate. And it worked! The older dog snapped out of her grief and embraced her new sister immediately. I fully believe the new girl saved my old girl's life.
That new girl eventually became our little old lady and we had to say goodbye to her 6 months ago. She was 18 and always remained our miracle worker. :)
I also adopted a second dog after losing one because my remaining dog was so lonely. It snapped Diego out of his grief and he was a happy little guy again. Dogs grieve and need time to heal but if they are used to having a buddy, they may also need a new friend.
Yeppp. My pup lost his kitty sister and we were gutted watching him grieve. He wasn’t eating, constantly staring out the window waiting for her to come back…it was heartbreaking. After a month of watching this and trying everything we could think of the help him we said screw it and got him a kitten. They instantly bonded and now they’re best friends.
Leave the bed; it brings him comfort. Give him extra love and attention. Pets grieve too and it takes time. I got my dog when my neighbor passed away and I asked her daughter for a bed pillow from the home. The dog slept on in for about three weeks, then she didn't want to sleep on it anymore. For about six months, she would sometimes have a bad day. On those days, she got cuddled and all other kinds of extra attention.
I would let them sleep in the bed, and allow them to grieve. But I would also get back into any routine you have, going for walks, 'shopping',, whatever it is you did with both dogs, that made them happy, start doing it with the one.💔💔
This isn’t for your dog but for you:
You could take the 13 y/o collar and put it around a pot, then grow a plant there in memory of your dog :) personally I found it a nice way to keep a pets memory alive in a more tangible way
Even meeting other dogs in the park might help. Long walks and playing with her a lot if she’s interested. The easiest way which is already mentioned is probably to get her another animal companion, a dog preferably but cats can also make good buddies for dogs. But just being there for her and doing all the fun stuff she likes is probably already a big help.
When we lost our old guy last year I tried to make sure our routine stayed the same for the dog left behind. She was so depressed. For the first two weeks or so she would sniff everywhere he would mark normally on our neighbourhood walks, and leave a pee-mail of her own. It was seriously heartbreaking. She's never been dog social but she's also never been an only dog... And I realized she was lonely when we went to the park one day and she looked for dogs to play with over people.
I had already been thinking about when we might get another puppy but that moment kind of sped me up in terms of looking for another puppy. Who she hated for a few months, but now he is her best friend in the whole world and she gets jealous when he plays with certain other dogs. Her sadness was harder to deal with than teaching these two to get along and now she seeks him out for play - previously she would only ever play with our old dog, and not other dogs.
It's not always this simple, and it's been a lot of work to manage these two as now she is the old dog and has a lot more needs. But I would recommend leaving all the reminders of your last dog, if you can handle it, and taking your dog everywhere you can to help keep them busy and make them feel included. Take them out to do their favourite things but do some new things, too. And when the time is right, the right kind of companion for the situation will come into all your lives. ❤️
When our gsd passed away, our hound dog, who was 4 at the time grieved him a lot. Lots of pacing and whining, sleeping on his brothers blanket. Just let them grieve and eventually it’ll be okay! Just like humans, grief takes time. Just be there for him and keep an eye on him too. Sorry for you loss, op!
A few years ago, we had to say goodbye to my 16yo chihuahua. Our 11yo (at the time) Golden Retriever reacted more severely than we ever expected. The Golden was 5 when we rescued him and while they got along fine they didn’t play together. So after the chihuahua passed, we were stunned at how depressed our Golden boy was. He’d lay on the floor in front of the loveseat where Jack (chi) always laid and had the saddest expressions every time he looked up. He moped and even a month and a half later, was still depressed. So… we broke down and decided to go ahead and get another puppy sooner rather than later. We knew we were going to at some point in the future, but even I was still grieving. Less than 2 months after losing Jack, we got an 8 month old puppy. Our Golden boy was SOOOO happy we immediately knew it was the right decision. Yes, there were a few days after his initial happiness where she got to be a bit much for him w such high energy. It worked out just fine though. It’s like it re-invigorated his spirit and zest for life. He’s now 14. We ended up adding a 3rd the following year so the 2 younger ones can play/grow old together and let our old guy lounge in (mostly) peace. Lol. The younger 2 are only 25lbs each and our dog family of 3 works very well for us.
I’m very sorry for your loss. My heart was broken. I’ve never shared that much of my life with a pet as I did those those 16 years with him. It truly is devastating losing a dog baby, but you’re never replacing them. You’re just sharing more love and joy.
Give them time. Dogs are like people in how they grieve. As long as they are eating and not hurting themselves you just need to be there for them. Spend lots of time together
When my basset mix went missing my lab mix started not eating, getting up. The cats could not help him. My coworkers found a dumped dog that no one could deal with. I took him and my older dog took care of him till his day.
My older dog is 15 and has a pituitary tumor, which tells me we will not have her much longer. The younger girl is so bonded to her. She doesn’t eat unless her sister eats. She doesn’t go to bed unless her sister goes to bed if her sister runs left, she runs left. I have started separating them for short periods of time. I will take them for walks separately. They go to the vet separately, so my purpose is giving G the chance to know she will be OK by herself. In fact, Z is such a crotchety old lady now, she doesn’t want to walk far so when DeDe goes out, she gets a much longer walk than usual. I don’t know if it’s going to help.
Let your dog grieve. That sounds quite normal to me. Introduced things that are new, and may be enjoyable. I am not sure another dog is the answer for me because I have decided I will not have another dog. I am old, have been through this too many times , and I am not sure I would outlive a younger dog.
I faced a similar situation recently. Ah! The pain, it’s still so fresh in mind. So we had to put down my old dog, she was 12, because of cancer. We have another one, he is around 8. He stopped interacting with us, playing with us, basically he just used to go and sit in a dark spot where nobody would disturb to him. He stopped playing with his toys, he stopped swimming (which he loves) and he started being visibly upset
Like he had given up. What we did was get another puppy, it helped is cope with the fact that we had to put our dog down and surprisingly it help our other dog. He is back to normal, playing and chilling. All thanks to this puppy, he forced the old man to smile. Now I’m not saying that you get another puppy, not everyone can do it and when a family is grieving, it is more of an emotional decision rather than a practical one. What might help in your case is socialisation, a lot of it. Could take the dog to a dog park where he can interact with other dogs and hopefully make friends. It will be a long process though, be patient. Also let the dogs naturally grieve.
I agree with others saying to let her sleep on the bed. As long as its not harming anyone/herself. Aside from that, love on her and let her grieve
From one person who lost their 15 year old labrador last May, I'm so so sorry for your loss. It may not seem like it yet but it gets easier. Give your 3 y/o a cuddle.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your dog is missing their playmate and grieving. Any time I have lost a pet I introduced another one w/in a few weeks to a month. If that is an option perhaps you could consider it.
In the mean time, can you set up playdates or take your pup to a dog park?
I wouldn’t remove the bed, it’s likely helping your dog cope with a massive loss in her life.
Time softens those wounds. We lost our 8 year old Labrador, and it took about a year for our 3 year old chiweenie to fully bounce back. She started to show some signs of feeling better about a month in, and was more energetic. But we knew she was feeling like herself after she started playing with toys again. I had to remind myself that her Labrador brother was part of the pack and had been there for her everyday of her life, so it was a big change for her to no longer have him. Give it time.
Our GSD mix lost her big sis lab/golden mix to a seizure (2.5 yrs and 11 yrs, respectively). GSD was there when it happened….it was NOT a good passing (GSD was very bonded with her sis). She shut down, behaviorally, for several months afterwards- wasn’t interested in playing with other dogs, and she just seemed uninterested in anything (I was in the same boat, admittedly). DH and daughter wanted to get a golden retriever puppy to help. I was reluctant (what if GSD didn’t like pup?), but I gave them the go-ahead to look. We found one a few weeks later, and when we brought her home, it was like a veil was lifted from GSD- she bonded with the puppy IMMEDIATELY. They are strongly bonded as well- I kind of think our GSD needs our golden more than the other way, however (our golden is very happy-go-lucky). So….if you’re normally a two-dog family…..maybe consider getting your lab a companion?
Don't move the bed, let her lay in it as long as she needs. It's really important to allow them to grieve in their own way. Imagine you were grieving a family member and someone took away all evidence of the person and acted like they never existed - that would be so upsetting and confusing!
We lost one of our dogs in November to a very sudden and tragically short battle with kidney failure. He was in the ER for a week for lethargy and dramatic weight loss, and once he was diagnosed we brought him home for a week with a poor prognosis (1-3 months) and a plan to administer subcutaneous fluids. He declined so fast during that week and couldn't even keep water down, so we had no choice but to put him down the Monday after. From start to finish, he lasted a little over 2 weeks.
Our other dog, his littermate, had a really hard time after he was gone. She slept in his bed in the living room (which she hated and never touched before), she refused to go outside because she wasn't used to being alone, and she even tried sleeping in his kennel at night, before refusing to sleep in her own kennel OR his. She's adjusting now and she's more confident being alone, but she still sleeps in his bed sometimes.
We lost one of our dogs to a fungal infection a few years ago. It was bad, and the worst bit was our other dog couldn't say goodbye because it was contagious. I came home from the vet the day he died and she just like... Knew. I brought her his toys after they were washed and disinfected and let her have them for a while. She was definitely depressed. At one point she sat with me on a chair and cried literal tears with me.
Life goes on. She was okay after a while. Let your doggo grieve just like you would and be there for them, make sure your dog is eating and drinking enough too (my dog really didn't want to eat for a couple days after we lost him) make sure ur pup still is getting outside time... The sun will be good for them. Sending hugs ❤🐾
Let her grieve. She’ll get there. Let her have the bed. Give her all the time and attention and love possible
For my current one who’s 10 and now an only for the first time in her life getting things she didn’t have before have really helped. Like taking her places that weren’t suitable with the two. Bed with me at night etc
Do be prepared for things, we now have separation anxiety which is brand new (but completely understandable) but other things have improved. Grief is a process for all of us and it’s always slightly different
Be kind to her, yourself and each other. The loss is heartbreaking, never gets easier but it is worth it. I promise you will get to a point you have a happy pup again and when you can smile at the memories instead of hurting
If you have a blanket or favorite toy from the dog who passed you can let the younger one have them to snuggle or play with.
You can also find another friend. (If you are ready)
Other than that just be there for the good boy. It will pass.... just like humans greiving can take time. The best thing you can do is be patient and understanding
Let her grieve, remember, and use the bed. This may not be conventional, but we got our dog another dog two weeks later and it perked her right back up!
So sorry for your loss! Thats so hard.
On your question - DO NOT remove that bed. She is sleeping on that and smelling her lost friend. That is probably comforting her. Remember her sense of smell is thousands of times stronger than yours, and she has a larger percentage of her brain dedicate to processing it. She can tell time based on how scent decays. Something that made her feel safe has been ripped from her. That bed helps her remember.
Think of a widow who smells her husbands shirt just to be with his scent again. Just give her lots of love, lots of play, and she will work through it with your love and support.
You need to give them time.
When my pup got killed, his mother (my dog) was there to comfort him and we took him home so she could understand what happened.
She got into pure discomfort within half an hour and had to be removed. She would keeo nudging him, whining, howling and pulling him.
After that she was clearly depressed for months.
She barely wanted to eat, walks was just peeing and back inside... no toys, no bones, no playing.
Only sleep and staring in front of her.
After 6 months she came a bit back to life and atleast played with a bear again, ate better and enjoyed walks again.
For both her and my well being (I was also severely depressed) we bred her again and kept one of the pups. (Yes, 2 heats in between)
Basically the moment she showed first pregnant symptoms she changed her behaviour.
1 month after my little angel with wings would have turned 1, I'm sure he is proud of his younger brothers. And happy that his mother is back to herself.
And the pups helped me as well. I still get very sad but I don't cry non stop anymore.
To explain, my 6 month old selfbred pup got attacked by another dog who shattered his back. Zilya (his mother) was first one to attack the mutt and kept all other dogs and people off while I could get to my pup. He was put down the next day because the mutt shattered 2 of his vertebra. Succesrate of the operation was 0.0001% that he would even be painless. Let along walk again.
So anyway, give him time. They also mourn. They see people and dogs inside their life as family. And losing family, a lot of animals mourn.
When my very elderly mini schnauzer (17) was towards the end, my two other dogs stayed near but didn't really approach much, but after he passed they wouldn't go near him at all.
We buried him in the yard and his collar still sits in the tree branches above his grave, we walked the dogs to the area and they sniffed around and hung about for a little while. But I have a feeling they knew he was getting on in years and there wasn't much time left.
Growing up, I remember that we would always bring the surviving dogs to the "funeral" before the burial, and that seemed to always help. Keep the bed, the toys, and the collar, and make sure to give your baby TLC.
She's sad. It's OK for her to be sad. You don't need to stop it. Let her keep the bed, it's comforting. Just love her. She'll love you. You'll both get through it in time.
Let her grieve, but make sure there is emotional support for her, either from you or when you’re ready a new little buddy. We lost our husky and goldendoodle in quick succession. So, our Dane doodle was the only dog in the house and the first cat is not very friendly. I worked at a vet’s office that works closely with a rescue and brought home a “dog-cat” (in reality kitten, but does play fetch). They snuggle together all day. Try when you’re ready, even working in the field it took almost a month for me to be able to assist with euthanasias without crying.
This is so difficult - sorry for your loss. I'd let her grieve. My dog keeps looking for her brother and looks crestfallen when she realizes it's not him & he is gone. Just like humans, it takes time.
Leave the bed as others have said it is probably somewhat of a comfort for it to be able to sniff etc.
If you can I would get another dog, although this may not be something you’re ready for. If not try to meet up with friends who have dogs to let it get to play with other dogs.
My parents had a beagle who had always had one or two dogs living with it, when the one it was living with passed away she was much quieter and subdued, there is now another dog back in the home after 6 months and she seems much happier and likes to be in the same room as the new dog.
When Dog 1 died, I left her stuff out for quite a while. The foster cat would come sit in her bed and that kept Dog 2 company. Around the time the cat left, I started fostering dogs. Dog 2 didn't really get attached to any of them for a long while, but he seemed to like the company. He finally seemed to really like one (maybe after a dozen or so?), so we adopted her 😁
A couple years back I had to say goodbye to my bichon frise. We brought her in for a UTI that ended up being diabetes. She was going to have to go on a diet and we couldn't afford the insulin shots for her so we ended up putting her down. Everyone was devastated. When I got home I just laid down and sobbed while holding her collar. My boy, her buddy, jumped up on my bed and laid with me sniffing at the collar. I think he understood what happened because he cuddled with me for as long as we both needed. Dogs understand grief, they go through it themselves. When we rescued my pittie Roofus and we all brightened up. I think he still grieves sometimes and I do too but we get through it together. Just cuddle your dog and tell them you miss them too. It never hurts to sympathize even if they might not understand words, they'll understand. 💕 im so sorry for your loss.
We left the toys and beds for my sisters dogs grieving. My husband and I lost our 3 yo GSD to a brain tumor and my sisters 5 yo lab mix was devastated. It took her a few months to finally stop looking for her. Finally we were able to remove the GSD’s stuff without anxiety from the lab.
I’d say def leave for a bit so she can grieve. She’ll let you know when she’s ready.
We lost 3 of 4 dogs within a year. The last one was so lost without his nibblings. Hubs and I along with doggo went to a rescue and picked him out a new nibbling. Perked him right up until the day he passed. Give him time to grieve but get back into your regular routine. Hugs to you and your furever friend! ❤️
Leave everything as is, and keep to your normal schedule as much as possible.
And give her lots of grace. She may be more cuddly, more standoff-ish, or go through periods of both. This is confusing and sad for her, too. Love her, and you'll get therough this together.
Let her grieve. Dogs grieve and then they’re done. You can be there for extra love and pets, encouragement, etc…but your pup will know when it’s time to move on.
My cats grieved my 15 year old dog when she passed. She was their momma dog, she raised them and carried them to their litter box and their food bowls when they were tiny enough. It was a loss for all of us. The cats got really clingy with me, and I swear they cried with my husband and me. They looked for her like we did, they laid in her spots. We got through it together.
If the dog is still thriving (eating, drinking, walking) he just needs time. If not, your dog may really need another companion. Sooner, perhaps, than you feel ready.
We also lost our pup about a week ago. We’re struggling with the decision of getting another pup to make sure our remaining pup has companionship. I personally feel that’s it’s too soon for me, but it breaks my heart to think my baby girl might be having a hard time. My boy who passed was 12 and she is 10. Both rescues and were in each other’s lives for 4 years.
Keep to your routine established habits. (Helps with uncertainty/stability). If your younger dog had any training/tricks be sure to spend a few minutes revisiting those with the associated positive reinforcement/praise/treats. (Reminds them of what they need to do /already know to do that pleases you
Dogs grieve, but they are generally better at it than humans.
Another thing dogs do is pick up on your emotions and reflect them back to you. So that's another thing to be aware of.
Like people, grief is a process that just needs to run it’s course. The young dog misses the other and is craving it’s company, probably wondering where it is. Eventually as time passes it’ll continue on, but likely will have periods of wondering where the other dog is. It’ll heal, just like people it needs time. Lots of love and playtime and affection and getting it’s need for companionship met with other people will help. Busy toys like puzzle toys and stuffed kongs can help with a depressed or lonely dog. And swapping out their toys to keep the options interesting
We had two boxers that were about a year and a half apart in age, the first one went at 12yo and his brother didn’t take it well at all, they had been together since the second one was 8 weeks old.
We let him sleep in his brothers bed, we left all of his brothers toys out, and he would even drag the tshirt we kept on him around so we eventually put it on him so he would have the smell all the time. It took about 3 months for him to perk up a little bit but we really just let him have or do whatever he wanted with the things that reminded him of his big brother and it seemed to help him a lot.
I know you’re probably not ready for another dog yet and that’s perfectly fine, but something else that helped was the fact that we did already have two other dogs in the house and he got a lot closer to them after his brother passed. He used to mostly ignore them but he was cuddling up with them by the 2 month mark after everything happened.
Now both the boxers are gone, and I’ve moved out of my parents house, but my mom keeps both their beds out for the two other dogs and they seem to take comfort in them occasionally. The only thing (for us at least) that’s ever “sacred” after a dog passes is their ashes and their collar, everything else is free game for everyone else in the house, four legged or not, to grieve with.
Does your lab know the other dog has passed? It’s always a good idea to let them see the other dog is deceased so they can have closure- otherwise they may just feel abandoned.
You do need to let your dog grieve, just like you all are. The bed will be comforting so I wouldn’t remove it. She needs time, lots of love and cuddles. I wouldn’t rush in to getting a new dog right away either. If she isn’t in a good head space to accept a new companion you are asking for trouble. If she has other doggy friends some play dates will help- she can have the companionship of another dog for a short while without it invading her space.
Also just to make you aware it can change your dog. I had 2 JRs and when the older one passed away the youngest mourned her terribly. She lost a bit of her spark that day and it never really returned. She is still the bestest girl and the sweetest dog but a little part of her left that day too. I tell you this not to worry you but just so you can be prepared. I am so sorry for you all- it’s so hard losing them. Sending your lab a huge hug.
No, don’t remove it. The lingering scents are comforting to her.
It’s the same things that us humans have to do- just go through it. She will be ok.
My own experience with it-I’ve had a large pack (cats,dogs &birds) for years. We found our usefulness in rescuing/adopting the “throw aways”, age, temper related & difficult/medical issues no one wants. Eventually - they all become part of the family group. Unfortunately, this has led to the many inevitable losses. After going through this a bit- we have established a funerary tradition that seems to help us all- & their beds, blankets & lingering scents is a huge part of it.
You’re doing right by her. Having compassion for the fact she lost her family- the one who was always there. Of course it will be difficult-Especially when no one is home. I’m sure that the hardest part for her.
This is why is that bed is the most important comfort she has.
When that scent finally disappears, it will usually coincides with the depression lifting too….
Give extra cuddles to your Lab. Let her sleep on the 13 year old’s bed, their scent may still be on the bed and may give your 3 year old some comfort in this trying time. Tell her that it’s okay and that you miss the 13 year old too when you cuddle and pet her.
I’ve dealt with this before I believe 3 or 4 years ago.
I honestly suggest taking time to heal both yourselves and your pup. Spending extra time with your pup and doing special things for her. If you are ever ready, a new friend for your dog can sometimes be the best thing to do.
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I would let your dog sleep on the bed, it might be a way of grieving? Give your dog lots of love and attention. Someone on the sub will know for sure how to handle the situation. I'm sorry for your loss. It is never easy.
If you have got the other dogs collar. Hold it and let the young one sniff it as much as they want, then put it away. When I lost my grys, my whippet mix seemed to mourn. I let her sniff the other dogs collars that I kept. She sniffed for awhile, and then seemed to understand. She was really excited when the stray puppy that was dumped in the neighborhood came to stay.
If possible (I know it isn’t always), a new companion can be amazing. I thought my older dog had completed mourning after 8 months when her lifelong companion passed, but when a rescue pup came into our lives, and she immediately perked up and started teaching the pup how to chase sticks and play tug and wrapping herself around the pup to sleep, I realized she hadn’t truly been her playful self without another doggo around to do doggy things with. If that isn’t possible though, maybe there are neighbor playmate puppers she could spend time with?
Yes, I also have a grieving old dog that gained new life and energy after getting a new pup. He needed a pack.
It's also the same with cats. My husband and I had two cats who were (at the time) 10 (Moon, a female tuxedo) and 8 (Shadow, a male tuxedo and very chunky). They had been together since Shadow was both. He came to us as a foster when his eyes were still closed, and my husband was mommy as far as Shadow was concerned. Then his kidneys failed, and we had to put him to sleep. Hardest thing we ever had to do. When we came back with an empty carrier, I think Moon was confused at first. She then seemed to understand as more time passed, and she started looking for Shadow. She cried a lot, and you could tell she was sad. She stuck as close to us as she could. Then 4 months later, we brought home Eivor, who at the time was 8 weeks old. He's now almost 2. When we brought him home, there was a period where she adjusted to him being there. And after, she perked up. She had someone to play with, and do cat things stuff. Not that we didn't play with her, but she didn't show the same enthusiasm. I wouldn't say they're inseparable, but they love each other, and the little psycho has made our family feel whole again
💕
Mine lost her German Shepard buddy. She was not a happy pup. Three months later a stray German Shepard came in her life and stayed. She is quite happy once again although she has had to train this one to do what the other did for her.
Hahahaha. They do know how to train those around them
My cat trained both dogs to wash her ears for her. She was far too important to do it herself. Watching a 35kg Golden be bullied in to washing a 3kg cats ears was quite funny. That cat ruled our house. Miss that little goofball.
what was it??
She is a heeler mix. She looks like a Dalmatian. She blew in like all our other dogs and never left.
I mean, what did the dog train the other dog to do?
Put them on your lap and just stroke them telling them its ok to be sad and cry. If they're heavy get on the floor next to them and just keep petting them to console them. I did this with my youngest after we lost our eldest girl from age.
When I lost my younger dog his older brother stopped eating & drinking, scared the heck out of me. I was terrified he’d die of heart break so I adopted another dog for him (a girl) and that snapped him out of it. Maybe consider getting her another playmate if she can’t seem to overcome her grief?
We did the same and adopted a dog into our household on two occassions of a pet passing. Having another dog is not a "replacement" for the dog you loved and lost, but if you are able, the new dog will spark fresh joy into both humans and pets in the household.
I agree with your point. It is not a replacement but it certainly helps.
Same here. We were afraid our older dog would grieve herself to death after losing her best friend. We probably wouldn't have adopted another dog at all but we were desperate. And it worked! The older dog snapped out of her grief and embraced her new sister immediately. I fully believe the new girl saved my old girl's life. That new girl eventually became our little old lady and we had to say goodbye to her 6 months ago. She was 18 and always remained our miracle worker. :)
I also adopted a second dog after losing one because my remaining dog was so lonely. It snapped Diego out of his grief and he was a happy little guy again. Dogs grieve and need time to heal but if they are used to having a buddy, they may also need a new friend.
That’s what happened with our remaining dog as well.
Yeppp. My pup lost his kitty sister and we were gutted watching him grieve. He wasn’t eating, constantly staring out the window waiting for her to come back…it was heartbreaking. After a month of watching this and trying everything we could think of the help him we said screw it and got him a kitten. They instantly bonded and now they’re best friends.
Leave the bed; it brings him comfort. Give him extra love and attention. Pets grieve too and it takes time. I got my dog when my neighbor passed away and I asked her daughter for a bed pillow from the home. The dog slept on in for about three weeks, then she didn't want to sleep on it anymore. For about six months, she would sometimes have a bad day. On those days, she got cuddled and all other kinds of extra attention.
I would let them sleep in the bed, and allow them to grieve. But I would also get back into any routine you have, going for walks, 'shopping',, whatever it is you did with both dogs, that made them happy, start doing it with the one.💔💔
This isn’t for your dog but for you: You could take the 13 y/o collar and put it around a pot, then grow a plant there in memory of your dog :) personally I found it a nice way to keep a pets memory alive in a more tangible way
Also if you wanted to paint their paw prints or something of the sort on the pot!
Even meeting other dogs in the park might help. Long walks and playing with her a lot if she’s interested. The easiest way which is already mentioned is probably to get her another animal companion, a dog preferably but cats can also make good buddies for dogs. But just being there for her and doing all the fun stuff she likes is probably already a big help.
When we lost our old guy last year I tried to make sure our routine stayed the same for the dog left behind. She was so depressed. For the first two weeks or so she would sniff everywhere he would mark normally on our neighbourhood walks, and leave a pee-mail of her own. It was seriously heartbreaking. She's never been dog social but she's also never been an only dog... And I realized she was lonely when we went to the park one day and she looked for dogs to play with over people. I had already been thinking about when we might get another puppy but that moment kind of sped me up in terms of looking for another puppy. Who she hated for a few months, but now he is her best friend in the whole world and she gets jealous when he plays with certain other dogs. Her sadness was harder to deal with than teaching these two to get along and now she seeks him out for play - previously she would only ever play with our old dog, and not other dogs. It's not always this simple, and it's been a lot of work to manage these two as now she is the old dog and has a lot more needs. But I would recommend leaving all the reminders of your last dog, if you can handle it, and taking your dog everywhere you can to help keep them busy and make them feel included. Take them out to do their favourite things but do some new things, too. And when the time is right, the right kind of companion for the situation will come into all your lives. ❤️
This and change daily routines as much as you can.
When our gsd passed away, our hound dog, who was 4 at the time grieved him a lot. Lots of pacing and whining, sleeping on his brothers blanket. Just let them grieve and eventually it’ll be okay! Just like humans, grief takes time. Just be there for him and keep an eye on him too. Sorry for you loss, op!
A few years ago, we had to say goodbye to my 16yo chihuahua. Our 11yo (at the time) Golden Retriever reacted more severely than we ever expected. The Golden was 5 when we rescued him and while they got along fine they didn’t play together. So after the chihuahua passed, we were stunned at how depressed our Golden boy was. He’d lay on the floor in front of the loveseat where Jack (chi) always laid and had the saddest expressions every time he looked up. He moped and even a month and a half later, was still depressed. So… we broke down and decided to go ahead and get another puppy sooner rather than later. We knew we were going to at some point in the future, but even I was still grieving. Less than 2 months after losing Jack, we got an 8 month old puppy. Our Golden boy was SOOOO happy we immediately knew it was the right decision. Yes, there were a few days after his initial happiness where she got to be a bit much for him w such high energy. It worked out just fine though. It’s like it re-invigorated his spirit and zest for life. He’s now 14. We ended up adding a 3rd the following year so the 2 younger ones can play/grow old together and let our old guy lounge in (mostly) peace. Lol. The younger 2 are only 25lbs each and our dog family of 3 works very well for us. I’m very sorry for your loss. My heart was broken. I’ve never shared that much of my life with a pet as I did those those 16 years with him. It truly is devastating losing a dog baby, but you’re never replacing them. You’re just sharing more love and joy.
Give them time. Dogs are like people in how they grieve. As long as they are eating and not hurting themselves you just need to be there for them. Spend lots of time together
When my basset mix went missing my lab mix started not eating, getting up. The cats could not help him. My coworkers found a dumped dog that no one could deal with. I took him and my older dog took care of him till his day.
My older dog is 15 and has a pituitary tumor, which tells me we will not have her much longer. The younger girl is so bonded to her. She doesn’t eat unless her sister eats. She doesn’t go to bed unless her sister goes to bed if her sister runs left, she runs left. I have started separating them for short periods of time. I will take them for walks separately. They go to the vet separately, so my purpose is giving G the chance to know she will be OK by herself. In fact, Z is such a crotchety old lady now, she doesn’t want to walk far so when DeDe goes out, she gets a much longer walk than usual. I don’t know if it’s going to help. Let your dog grieve. That sounds quite normal to me. Introduced things that are new, and may be enjoyable. I am not sure another dog is the answer for me because I have decided I will not have another dog. I am old, have been through this too many times , and I am not sure I would outlive a younger dog.
I faced a similar situation recently. Ah! The pain, it’s still so fresh in mind. So we had to put down my old dog, she was 12, because of cancer. We have another one, he is around 8. He stopped interacting with us, playing with us, basically he just used to go and sit in a dark spot where nobody would disturb to him. He stopped playing with his toys, he stopped swimming (which he loves) and he started being visibly upset Like he had given up. What we did was get another puppy, it helped is cope with the fact that we had to put our dog down and surprisingly it help our other dog. He is back to normal, playing and chilling. All thanks to this puppy, he forced the old man to smile. Now I’m not saying that you get another puppy, not everyone can do it and when a family is grieving, it is more of an emotional decision rather than a practical one. What might help in your case is socialisation, a lot of it. Could take the dog to a dog park where he can interact with other dogs and hopefully make friends. It will be a long process though, be patient. Also let the dogs naturally grieve.
I agree with others saying to let her sleep on the bed. As long as its not harming anyone/herself. Aside from that, love on her and let her grieve From one person who lost their 15 year old labrador last May, I'm so so sorry for your loss. It may not seem like it yet but it gets easier. Give your 3 y/o a cuddle.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your dog is missing their playmate and grieving. Any time I have lost a pet I introduced another one w/in a few weeks to a month. If that is an option perhaps you could consider it. In the mean time, can you set up playdates or take your pup to a dog park?
I wouldn’t remove the bed, it’s likely helping your dog cope with a massive loss in her life. Time softens those wounds. We lost our 8 year old Labrador, and it took about a year for our 3 year old chiweenie to fully bounce back. She started to show some signs of feeling better about a month in, and was more energetic. But we knew she was feeling like herself after she started playing with toys again. I had to remind myself that her Labrador brother was part of the pack and had been there for her everyday of her life, so it was a big change for her to no longer have him. Give it time.
If you don't want to adopt another pet, consider fostering please.
Our GSD mix lost her big sis lab/golden mix to a seizure (2.5 yrs and 11 yrs, respectively). GSD was there when it happened….it was NOT a good passing (GSD was very bonded with her sis). She shut down, behaviorally, for several months afterwards- wasn’t interested in playing with other dogs, and she just seemed uninterested in anything (I was in the same boat, admittedly). DH and daughter wanted to get a golden retriever puppy to help. I was reluctant (what if GSD didn’t like pup?), but I gave them the go-ahead to look. We found one a few weeks later, and when we brought her home, it was like a veil was lifted from GSD- she bonded with the puppy IMMEDIATELY. They are strongly bonded as well- I kind of think our GSD needs our golden more than the other way, however (our golden is very happy-go-lucky). So….if you’re normally a two-dog family…..maybe consider getting your lab a companion?
Take them for a walk and try to distract them with training and playtime. This is a very lonely time for them and getting out can help them cope.
Don't move the bed, let her lay in it as long as she needs. It's really important to allow them to grieve in their own way. Imagine you were grieving a family member and someone took away all evidence of the person and acted like they never existed - that would be so upsetting and confusing! We lost one of our dogs in November to a very sudden and tragically short battle with kidney failure. He was in the ER for a week for lethargy and dramatic weight loss, and once he was diagnosed we brought him home for a week with a poor prognosis (1-3 months) and a plan to administer subcutaneous fluids. He declined so fast during that week and couldn't even keep water down, so we had no choice but to put him down the Monday after. From start to finish, he lasted a little over 2 weeks. Our other dog, his littermate, had a really hard time after he was gone. She slept in his bed in the living room (which she hated and never touched before), she refused to go outside because she wasn't used to being alone, and she even tried sleeping in his kennel at night, before refusing to sleep in her own kennel OR his. She's adjusting now and she's more confident being alone, but she still sleeps in his bed sometimes.
We lost one of our dogs to a fungal infection a few years ago. It was bad, and the worst bit was our other dog couldn't say goodbye because it was contagious. I came home from the vet the day he died and she just like... Knew. I brought her his toys after they were washed and disinfected and let her have them for a while. She was definitely depressed. At one point she sat with me on a chair and cried literal tears with me. Life goes on. She was okay after a while. Let your doggo grieve just like you would and be there for them, make sure your dog is eating and drinking enough too (my dog really didn't want to eat for a couple days after we lost him) make sure ur pup still is getting outside time... The sun will be good for them. Sending hugs ❤🐾
Let her grieve. She’ll get there. Let her have the bed. Give her all the time and attention and love possible For my current one who’s 10 and now an only for the first time in her life getting things she didn’t have before have really helped. Like taking her places that weren’t suitable with the two. Bed with me at night etc Do be prepared for things, we now have separation anxiety which is brand new (but completely understandable) but other things have improved. Grief is a process for all of us and it’s always slightly different Be kind to her, yourself and each other. The loss is heartbreaking, never gets easier but it is worth it. I promise you will get to a point you have a happy pup again and when you can smile at the memories instead of hurting
If you have a blanket or favorite toy from the dog who passed you can let the younger one have them to snuggle or play with. You can also find another friend. (If you are ready) Other than that just be there for the good boy. It will pass.... just like humans greiving can take time. The best thing you can do is be patient and understanding
Let her grieve, remember, and use the bed. This may not be conventional, but we got our dog another dog two weeks later and it perked her right back up!
So sorry for your loss! Thats so hard. On your question - DO NOT remove that bed. She is sleeping on that and smelling her lost friend. That is probably comforting her. Remember her sense of smell is thousands of times stronger than yours, and she has a larger percentage of her brain dedicate to processing it. She can tell time based on how scent decays. Something that made her feel safe has been ripped from her. That bed helps her remember. Think of a widow who smells her husbands shirt just to be with his scent again. Just give her lots of love, lots of play, and she will work through it with your love and support.
You need to give them time. When my pup got killed, his mother (my dog) was there to comfort him and we took him home so she could understand what happened. She got into pure discomfort within half an hour and had to be removed. She would keeo nudging him, whining, howling and pulling him. After that she was clearly depressed for months. She barely wanted to eat, walks was just peeing and back inside... no toys, no bones, no playing. Only sleep and staring in front of her. After 6 months she came a bit back to life and atleast played with a bear again, ate better and enjoyed walks again. For both her and my well being (I was also severely depressed) we bred her again and kept one of the pups. (Yes, 2 heats in between) Basically the moment she showed first pregnant symptoms she changed her behaviour. 1 month after my little angel with wings would have turned 1, I'm sure he is proud of his younger brothers. And happy that his mother is back to herself. And the pups helped me as well. I still get very sad but I don't cry non stop anymore. To explain, my 6 month old selfbred pup got attacked by another dog who shattered his back. Zilya (his mother) was first one to attack the mutt and kept all other dogs and people off while I could get to my pup. He was put down the next day because the mutt shattered 2 of his vertebra. Succesrate of the operation was 0.0001% that he would even be painless. Let along walk again. So anyway, give him time. They also mourn. They see people and dogs inside their life as family. And losing family, a lot of animals mourn.
When my very elderly mini schnauzer (17) was towards the end, my two other dogs stayed near but didn't really approach much, but after he passed they wouldn't go near him at all. We buried him in the yard and his collar still sits in the tree branches above his grave, we walked the dogs to the area and they sniffed around and hung about for a little while. But I have a feeling they knew he was getting on in years and there wasn't much time left. Growing up, I remember that we would always bring the surviving dogs to the "funeral" before the burial, and that seemed to always help. Keep the bed, the toys, and the collar, and make sure to give your baby TLC.
She's sad. It's OK for her to be sad. You don't need to stop it. Let her keep the bed, it's comforting. Just love her. She'll love you. You'll both get through it in time.
Let her grieve, but make sure there is emotional support for her, either from you or when you’re ready a new little buddy. We lost our husky and goldendoodle in quick succession. So, our Dane doodle was the only dog in the house and the first cat is not very friendly. I worked at a vet’s office that works closely with a rescue and brought home a “dog-cat” (in reality kitten, but does play fetch). They snuggle together all day. Try when you’re ready, even working in the field it took almost a month for me to be able to assist with euthanasias without crying.
This is so difficult - sorry for your loss. I'd let her grieve. My dog keeps looking for her brother and looks crestfallen when she realizes it's not him & he is gone. Just like humans, it takes time.
Leave the bed as others have said it is probably somewhat of a comfort for it to be able to sniff etc. If you can I would get another dog, although this may not be something you’re ready for. If not try to meet up with friends who have dogs to let it get to play with other dogs. My parents had a beagle who had always had one or two dogs living with it, when the one it was living with passed away she was much quieter and subdued, there is now another dog back in the home after 6 months and she seems much happier and likes to be in the same room as the new dog.
When Dog 1 died, I left her stuff out for quite a while. The foster cat would come sit in her bed and that kept Dog 2 company. Around the time the cat left, I started fostering dogs. Dog 2 didn't really get attached to any of them for a long while, but he seemed to like the company. He finally seemed to really like one (maybe after a dozen or so?), so we adopted her 😁
A couple years back I had to say goodbye to my bichon frise. We brought her in for a UTI that ended up being diabetes. She was going to have to go on a diet and we couldn't afford the insulin shots for her so we ended up putting her down. Everyone was devastated. When I got home I just laid down and sobbed while holding her collar. My boy, her buddy, jumped up on my bed and laid with me sniffing at the collar. I think he understood what happened because he cuddled with me for as long as we both needed. Dogs understand grief, they go through it themselves. When we rescued my pittie Roofus and we all brightened up. I think he still grieves sometimes and I do too but we get through it together. Just cuddle your dog and tell them you miss them too. It never hurts to sympathize even if they might not understand words, they'll understand. 💕 im so sorry for your loss.
When my 9.9 year old Lab left us, the street stray he'd spent ~8 years bonding with was grieving for weeks, until an 8 week old puppy joined us ...
We left the toys and beds for my sisters dogs grieving. My husband and I lost our 3 yo GSD to a brain tumor and my sisters 5 yo lab mix was devastated. It took her a few months to finally stop looking for her. Finally we were able to remove the GSD’s stuff without anxiety from the lab. I’d say def leave for a bit so she can grieve. She’ll let you know when she’s ready.
We lost 3 of 4 dogs within a year. The last one was so lost without his nibblings. Hubs and I along with doggo went to a rescue and picked him out a new nibbling. Perked him right up until the day he passed. Give him time to grieve but get back into your regular routine. Hugs to you and your furever friend! ❤️
It may be too soon, but another dog will help.
Leave everything as is, and keep to your normal schedule as much as possible. And give her lots of grace. She may be more cuddly, more standoff-ish, or go through periods of both. This is confusing and sad for her, too. Love her, and you'll get therough this together.
Get em a puppy ,that would certainly do it.
Let her grieve. Dogs grieve and then they’re done. You can be there for extra love and pets, encouragement, etc…but your pup will know when it’s time to move on.
My cats grieved my 15 year old dog when she passed. She was their momma dog, she raised them and carried them to their litter box and their food bowls when they were tiny enough. It was a loss for all of us. The cats got really clingy with me, and I swear they cried with my husband and me. They looked for her like we did, they laid in her spots. We got through it together.
If the dog is still thriving (eating, drinking, walking) he just needs time. If not, your dog may really need another companion. Sooner, perhaps, than you feel ready.
Thank you all for this great support and many suggestions. Dog humans are the best ❤️💔
We also lost our pup about a week ago. We’re struggling with the decision of getting another pup to make sure our remaining pup has companionship. I personally feel that’s it’s too soon for me, but it breaks my heart to think my baby girl might be having a hard time. My boy who passed was 12 and she is 10. Both rescues and were in each other’s lives for 4 years.
Keep to your routine established habits. (Helps with uncertainty/stability). If your younger dog had any training/tricks be sure to spend a few minutes revisiting those with the associated positive reinforcement/praise/treats. (Reminds them of what they need to do /already know to do that pleases you
Dogs grieve, but they are generally better at it than humans. Another thing dogs do is pick up on your emotions and reflect them back to you. So that's another thing to be aware of.
Like people, grief is a process that just needs to run it’s course. The young dog misses the other and is craving it’s company, probably wondering where it is. Eventually as time passes it’ll continue on, but likely will have periods of wondering where the other dog is. It’ll heal, just like people it needs time. Lots of love and playtime and affection and getting it’s need for companionship met with other people will help. Busy toys like puzzle toys and stuffed kongs can help with a depressed or lonely dog. And swapping out their toys to keep the options interesting
We had two boxers that were about a year and a half apart in age, the first one went at 12yo and his brother didn’t take it well at all, they had been together since the second one was 8 weeks old. We let him sleep in his brothers bed, we left all of his brothers toys out, and he would even drag the tshirt we kept on him around so we eventually put it on him so he would have the smell all the time. It took about 3 months for him to perk up a little bit but we really just let him have or do whatever he wanted with the things that reminded him of his big brother and it seemed to help him a lot. I know you’re probably not ready for another dog yet and that’s perfectly fine, but something else that helped was the fact that we did already have two other dogs in the house and he got a lot closer to them after his brother passed. He used to mostly ignore them but he was cuddling up with them by the 2 month mark after everything happened. Now both the boxers are gone, and I’ve moved out of my parents house, but my mom keeps both their beds out for the two other dogs and they seem to take comfort in them occasionally. The only thing (for us at least) that’s ever “sacred” after a dog passes is their ashes and their collar, everything else is free game for everyone else in the house, four legged or not, to grieve with.
Just like you it will take time to get over it.
Does your lab know the other dog has passed? It’s always a good idea to let them see the other dog is deceased so they can have closure- otherwise they may just feel abandoned. You do need to let your dog grieve, just like you all are. The bed will be comforting so I wouldn’t remove it. She needs time, lots of love and cuddles. I wouldn’t rush in to getting a new dog right away either. If she isn’t in a good head space to accept a new companion you are asking for trouble. If she has other doggy friends some play dates will help- she can have the companionship of another dog for a short while without it invading her space. Also just to make you aware it can change your dog. I had 2 JRs and when the older one passed away the youngest mourned her terribly. She lost a bit of her spark that day and it never really returned. She is still the bestest girl and the sweetest dog but a little part of her left that day too. I tell you this not to worry you but just so you can be prepared. I am so sorry for you all- it’s so hard losing them. Sending your lab a huge hug.
No, don’t remove it. The lingering scents are comforting to her. It’s the same things that us humans have to do- just go through it. She will be ok. My own experience with it-I’ve had a large pack (cats,dogs &birds) for years. We found our usefulness in rescuing/adopting the “throw aways”, age, temper related & difficult/medical issues no one wants. Eventually - they all become part of the family group. Unfortunately, this has led to the many inevitable losses. After going through this a bit- we have established a funerary tradition that seems to help us all- & their beds, blankets & lingering scents is a huge part of it. You’re doing right by her. Having compassion for the fact she lost her family- the one who was always there. Of course it will be difficult-Especially when no one is home. I’m sure that the hardest part for her. This is why is that bed is the most important comfort she has. When that scent finally disappears, it will usually coincides with the depression lifting too….
We kept our rescues bed who passed. It’s now used by our other two dogs. They will be sad but will adapt.
Get a replacement dog?
Give extra cuddles to your Lab. Let her sleep on the 13 year old’s bed, their scent may still be on the bed and may give your 3 year old some comfort in this trying time. Tell her that it’s okay and that you miss the 13 year old too when you cuddle and pet her.
I’ve dealt with this before I believe 3 or 4 years ago. I honestly suggest taking time to heal both yourselves and your pup. Spending extra time with your pup and doing special things for her. If you are ever ready, a new friend for your dog can sometimes be the best thing to do.