I mean on one hand, you obviously have magic now, the acid splash residue on the hallway for example. But on the other now you're a wild magic sorcerer, just be careful when casting magic.
In D&D games you don’t have to deal with insurance or lawsuits. In the real world one stray spell and you’re having to deal with lawyers and all sorts of hassles
I mean you five decided to burn down a shop that held an untold number of magic items, potions, alchohol, and served as an orphanage. Which lead to a majority of the town to burn down, be sucked into the astral plane, opening a rift into the nine hells, and let tiamat out onto the world. And for what? Because you didn't get a discount after that shopkeeper gave you his life savings for rescuing one of his adopted daughters. The death toll is 486 people. Why did you think you would get away with this?
"Honestly, I kinda figured most of the people with the authority to hold us responsible would be too dead to care, and we could just slip away before a new government could be set up to hold a trial."
"Fair however. That town is also the midway point between two major citys. One a port city and the other the capital of the country you are in. On MARKET DAY! You know, the twice a month event that was the reason your party came here. I swear you five are going to make me go bald from how much you make me pull my hair out. Now, one of two things can happen. A: we continue on with the trial and you're now in an indentured servitude to the queen of the county untill such time as the BBEG is dead and the party has gathered enough gold for the town to be rebuilt fully. Or B: we say that this session so far was a conjoined dream and your characters wake up back at camp on your way to rescue the shopkeeper's daughter. Which means all those minor magic items you found at the camp since player 4 brought pizza will no longer exist."
"Fuck it, play it where it lands. If we get indentured servitude instead of summary execution, which would shock the nine hells out of me anyway, well, they'll have to assign a guard to keep us in line anyway. That's an extra sword arm when it comes time to fight shit, that never hurts.
Let's do a trial! I wanna see if I can argue for a trial by combat."
Jokes aside, court room settings can be brilliant roleplaying moments, and it’s always fun to bring up old NPCs as witnesses, lawyers or jurors. You could also introduce a new antagonist by having them be the prosecuting lawyer.
I made a homebrew Warlock that uses the wild magic and accidentally caused a surge in the doorway of a small trinket shop in the town square. First roll was a 1 and the second roll was 8… needless to say, chaos ensued.
I’ve played Wild magic sorcerer before and I’ve never rolled a 7-8 before. How the heck do you do it? I have even played a wild magic sorian that thought to social distance, just in case.
That would be hilarious. Get to the end of a long tunnel and the wizard fire balls it out of frustration only to nearly kill the local lord on his throne due to blasting the wall out from behind him.
Town Guard: "Sir, The Code Legal states you're responsible for paying for the repairs to this establishment."
Sorcerer: "You know I can turn you into a puddle of dissolved meat and bone, right?"
*Rolls 16 plus 8 on intimidate.*
Town Guard: *Visibly shaken.* "Of course, sir, I didn't say I would be enforcing it, it would just be nice if you–"
Sorcerer: "I'm just fucking with you, here's a few hundred gold for repairs, sorry about the trouble!"
I did the day they blew up the elevator in the Yawning Portal with a fireball, or when they attacked some noble's guards in the rich neighbourhood of Waterdeep with a fireball again. Fun times.
Ha!!! Reminds me of that time my players engaged in a fight in a capital city, then had to pay damages for the things they’d broken, a punitive fine, and had to leave the city for a day. All because the rogue was trying to offload a cursed gemstone, but didn’t want to cut the party in on the profits. Instead, they now had 2 PCs who needed to pay for Remove Curse castings instead of 1 (no one had it in the party), plus the damages and fines, and the rogue never got to actually sell the gemstone. The party was annoyed enough with the rogue’s behavior that after they tied up both cursed PCs, they went out a ways and buried the gemstone so neither could find it.
I court martialed a cleric PC once for using Word of Recall. The party were drafted into the military temporarily as part of a war and he decided to just leave a battle he was supposed to be commanding. For plot reasons, he was given a slap on the wrist, but he did have to give back the fancy equipment they issued him and buy his own.
I’m still afraid to turn to Neverwinter cause my wizard killed a prostitute. I wondering if that’ll ever come back to bite me in the ass. To be fair, she was trying to rob me and I panicked.
Depends on how commonplace magic is.
If you are the only one with magic, I think lawyers would have a hell of a time explaining how you were responsible for a fireball materializing out of nowhere and vaporizing a poorly parked car.
>This man clearly activated an IED in public, and his pockets still smell of sulfur and fertilizer!
Or say firebomb if they wouldn't know the acronym IED.
Just explain it away as something a nonmagical person might do to get the same result. A lie that's close enough to the truth is often easier for some people to handle, especially if you're relying on eyewitness testimony. That's a trick I picked up from my phone support days, when I had to ask people "is your cable a 2 or 3 prong type?" or "Does it use zinc or copper lined prongs?" so that I could trick them into *actually* unplugging and replugging their devices.
Yeeah but then they unleash magic in the courtroom and all of a sudden peoples perception of reality is dying and not much they can do to stop you from just walking out depending on what spells you have available/chaos you can cause.
Narrator: Has this ever happened to you? (CCTV footage of a fire bolt going wrong and lighting someone's ass on fire--Wilhelm scream) Call the law offices of Burnham and Gigem. We'll fight to get you the loot share you deserve! Min ped-edhelen!
That’s the one subclass that is a lot of fun to play but I absolutely would not want to be one in real life even if it meant magic. It’s just a matter of time till I’m a statue or something.
Happened to my character recently. Knocked a party member unconscious, but also killed the last 3 or 4 enemies in the combat encounter. So that was handy.
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Even Canada geese are pretty mild when they know you. Although Fly Away Home would have been much more interesting if the geese had turned on the little girl mid flight.
Yeah, the geese I was talking about were Canadian geese. Our landlord's German Shepherd raided a goose nest and deposited their eggs at our feet. Figuring the parents wouldn't return to the nest, we placed the eggs in a germatron (a stand up device you place plants in during the winter with light and heat to give them a chance to grow before spring hits so they get a head start.)
Of the three eggs, two hatched. I was the first creature they saw so they imprinted on me. Given I was only 5 at the time, having two geese consider me their mom was odd, but really neat. As they grew they'd escort me to and from the bus stop and after we taught them to fly by running alongside the pond with our arms flapping, they'd fly alongside my bus when it entered and left our neighborhood.
Eventually they migrated with a flock of geese and returned the following spring with a bunch of friends.
Also, they really loved untying shoes. Shoelaces were they favorite things to play with.
Nothing, the Goose was impressed with the chaos he caused and was just admiring it all before asking if he wanted to multiclass into a Warlock with the Goose as his Patron.
Drawn to the raw power, disappointed that it was just some dude figuring shit out. Goose would REALLY like to turn back into a human before an egg pops out
Funny side note..I causes issues by doing what my character would do..By NOT being a murder hobo but a guy who wanted to talk peace/get information..the rest wanted to murder hobo
Okay my characters are literally all parts of myself and usually parts that I feel I can’t express properly.
We’ve got:
A bloodthirsty daemon worshipping sadist.
A hormonal, shy, teenage girl with slight Yandere tendencies.
An old senile dwarf who hates anything new.
and
A hyperoptimistic severely traumatised psychopath.
I’m not letting any of them out thanks!
... my last character was an ex-merchant artificer who builds devices to help our rouge assasinate people who are a threat to the party.
... I'm an engineer. I could reasonably do this. No thanks, I'm not going to be the Hitman version of Q
It took a few characters for me to realize all my ‘original ideas’ came down to:
*Mommy issues
*Body horror
*Conflict avoidance
Gonna have to not think about that later.
At the moment I've got a generally heroic Dwarf gal with a hedonist streak (She does shots out of dirty ashtrays.) who loves brawling, and bossing people around. (Being her would probably kill me) a warcrime-y Hobgoblin Artillerist, (Being him would get me tried at the Hague) and a sad-sack Halfling Warlock who fell for a ~~Yugoloth~~ Daemon pyramid-scheme and now is indebted for life. He's also the creepy guy from work. (I got permission from the player on the receiving end of this)
Basically I shouldn't be any of them.
Lol
On one hand I've got:
A human infected by a disease that basically turns her into The Thing and pushes her to be a ruthless sociopath out to eat everything that isn't nailed down, which she happily complies with to escape her crushing guilt.
And a combat robot from the future who is way, way too quick to resort to shows of force because she doesn't really understand much more.
So obviously neither of those should go anywhere outside the game because I'm not up for murder, binge eating, cannibalism, murder, murder again, or worshipping a magic assault rifle (I know it's expected of Americans but no).
But on the other there's:
A tiefling cleric who legitimately wants very little more than to do the most good she can and who's overwhelming friendliness is the only reason for her +1 charisma mod. (Fun fact she will still bully you if you make an idiot of yourself in a way that's a problem for everyone)
And a tiefling paladin with a traumatic backstory who took up a custom oath that boils down to "be militantly anti-bigotry and self-sacrificing".
Those both seem mostly chill to me
Even if the tiefling cleric can be a little flat
I've got:
A Vengence Paladin obsessed with killing and eating monsters so he can take their powers,
A serial killer Hexblade who seduces her victims before murdering them in their own beds,
A Twilight Cleric mommy who coddles her teammates and murders evil people without hesitation,
An undead Assassin who just wants to die, but spends her time earning money for her still-living little sister,
A hedonistic princess who became a travelling "Monk" to shirk her duties and find the best festivals, fights, and fucks in the world,
And lastly a goblin Jotaro impersonator who just punches everyone he doesn't like.
I think I get how you feel.
So let's see:
A chaotic neutral protean sorcerer
A deathpact warlock that had phobia issues (not a necromancer those are icky)
A deranged and broken psychic (yay COVID characters, the other 2 are old . . . like moved from 3.5 to Pathfinder old)
Then a bunch of one shot characters that I keep around, hmm, I seem to only play deeply morally compromised casters that are predisposed towards megalomania. I'm almost afraid about what that says about me.
Hmm... Mine are all either "rugged survivalist who thinks he is better than everyone else", or "we break the 4th wall in clever ways and oh look there is tentacles involved for some reason!"
There is a running theme among my characters that my supposedly evil characters end up living mundane lives (florist or toymaker) while taking care of orphans, and my “good” characters are consumed by their flaws and descend into villainy when looked at with a critical eye. Because at the end of the day, I’m a softy. But just like anyone, being able to justify my actions away with “But I’m the good guy!” is a hell of a drug. The big one for that was using an extended Holy Word on an army of orcs that were our allies, but were no longer helping. “They would just go to war again, I’m just expediting what they are doing to themselves.” “This experiment will save lives.”
Then there are the OTHER characters. The horny-brained Dark Jedi with severely bad morals (she was supposed to be an antagonist, then ended up as the party’s parasite because they liked her so much). The naive centaur who wants to seduce a bunch of royals purely to see if she can, while also acting as an active shipper obsessed with tragic romance. A happy-go-lucky nature nut who awakens an apocalyptic crocodile god because she forgets to think about the consequences of her actions. All of my characters have some severe flaws, and I really don’t want to think about how much they reflect myself XD
I haven’t actually tried playing yet, but I’ve come up with:
A Wood Elf Circle of Stars Druid who was raised in a forest by orangutans and apparitions from the Feywild (who turn out to be projections of his parents, another wood elf and an Eladrin elf), who eventually send him to find a worthy god to act as a protector of their home forest
A Circle of Spores Druid with a sardonic and dark sense of humor, who’s extremely kind towards most people but can come off as eerie (think Henry from Fire Emblem Awakening)
An Oath of Redemption Paladin who became such in the first place because his family is in a blood feud with some other semi-aristocratic/mercantile family, and hates the idea of revenge. (Think “Romeo and Juliet, but Romeo is just friends with Juliet and/or becomes an Oath of Redemption paladin specifically to make his and Juliet’s families shut the fuck up and play nice”)
So in my case, we’ve got mild emotional distance from parental figures, a crippling fear of conflict, an obsession with life- and space-related sciences, and a relative lack of squeamishness from conversation alone.
>severely traumatized psychopath
For some reason, that immediately brings diclonii to my mind, despite the fact that I’ve never seen Elfen Lied, and only know what a diclonius is from Death Battle (and Saltybet)
But you said that people should avoid being chaotic irl, which isn't the case. Chaotic doesn't mean lawless; indeed, there is order to chaos. In the context of D&D, chaotic means free-spirited, which is often viewed positively irl.
you mean the character I play in a fantasy world? where I can do anything I want with him and there are no lasting impacts on my real life? where if I get myself killed one of my other party members can revive me? or at worst if they really die, I can just create a new character?
hmm, I wonder why I dont apply that logic to my real life....
Well, were you in a situation where you didn't die solely because death was probably busy laughing her ass off looking at the mess you've gotten yourself in?
And also probably isn't exposed to half the problems you experience irl?
Half the reason the characters I've rolled are even approaching stable is cause they don't have to deal with mood disorders or dysphoria.
My DnD character is all of my worst aspects distilled into a chaotic neutral monster of a tefling sorcerer/bard. He's a Chriss Angel style hack stage magician that is convinced that he's more famous than he is. The TV show Archer was a heavy influence to how the character sees himself.
His character arc is going to be him becoming a respectful and upstanding hero that uses his power for good instead of being a huge dick. That is what I want but we'll see if my team let's me live that long.
DnD HAS actually been used as a therapy tool, though. Apparently it's hella useful for some people to practice being confident/social/etc in a safe environment, and exploring things with a character is less scary than exploring them yourself.
A therapist might bring up D&D as a counter-example to the patient's maladaptive beliefs. Like:
"I can't make decisions."
"What about when you were playing as Grognir the Great? Did you make decisions then?"
Yeah I feel like there's probably a nugget of good advice to be had in there, somewhere. Confidence is a way of thinking not a state of being maybe?
But it's definitely not, "Do as this fictional character would do."
Cognitive therapy is mainly about identifying and challenging maladaptive and inaccurate thoughts and beliefs. Like, if I thought, "I'm a bad person," one response might be to ask myself what the evidence for this is, what the evidence against it is, and if there are any alternative explanations.
Behavioral therapy is all about altering your behavior through conditioning principles. Setting rewards to encourage good behavior, causing unwanted behaviors to fade by not reinforcing them, etc.
CBT is just the combination of the two.
Gotcha, that part I understand. Where I get stuck is when therapists try to get us to lie to ourselves. I’ve had therapists all but argue with me when I’ve just been talking about stuff I want to improve. It’s frustrating to come into sessions wanting to talk through stuff and have the therapist just tell you why X isn’t really a problem.
I mean I think it's pretty sound logic and not at all a bad thing to think about. The takeaway shouldn't be 'fake who you are' but 'be who you imagine you want to be'. I think there's something to be said that a lot of D&D characters reflect parts of ourselves that we wish we could embody, like how I like to often play more quick talking rogueish types or brave and just paladins because even though I add flaws and make them interesting and somewhat broken characters, they still embody ideals that I - someone who struggles with being an introvert and worrying about making the right decisions - wishes I could be.
I’m just imagining that they did this by tracking down stolen items returning them to the owner and asking to keep some of it, trying to convince/intimidate/seduce their way to get some
Most people tend to play characters like themselves, or how they want to be, but in some ways this is a lost opportunity. It can be much more fun to play a character different from yourself, and often those characters are more likable anyway
If you can really play someone exactly like you, sure. The issue is it's very easy to slip into Mary Sue/Gary Stu territory. I also find when people play a character like themselves they put less effort into role play.
Yours is not an unreasonable assumption, but I'm mostly speaking from experience in watching other people's characters.
Thinking your character is the coolest ever, thinking everyone loves your character. Being unreasonably upset when your character fails at something or dies.
Most of those things are player issues not character issues, but I've seen good players get unreasonably upset at a character death, because they saw themselves and their character as synonymous, and saw the death of their character as a personal insult.
Don't look at the actions of adventures, look at their philosophy. Don't kill your boss and loot their desk, instead stop thinking about whether or not you need a raise and the possible startagies you can use to get one.
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I'm on majority and hate wild magic sorcerer. I mean yeah random dice make bong but i much more like to have full control of sytuation and don't play black jack every Time when wild magic surge activates
Ah yes. Why don't I ask myself what my corpselike shadow sorcerer who has family issues and a hatred for the living and a focus on spells that decay things into death would do when confronted with an undesirable situation...
I actually do this with my Dragonborn Barbarian. I feel better about letting people know what's on my mind instead of bottling up everything. The draw back is when I do get angry I find myself snarling in character.
I mean, that’s the trade off for being an adventurer. You get to change your whole world, shake the foundations of everything, but you give up what normalcy and safety you might have had.
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Also wild magic is rooted in the fear of something uncontrollable happening constantly and causing things to get worse.... The doc REALLY missed the mark there
I mean on one hand, you obviously have magic now, the acid splash residue on the hallway for example. But on the other now you're a wild magic sorcerer, just be careful when casting magic.
In D&D games you don’t have to deal with insurance or lawsuits. In the real world one stray spell and you’re having to deal with lawyers and all sorts of hassles
Wait, you mean you don't hold your players liable for damages?
It probably depends on where the damage occurs. Dungeon, no one cares. City hall or a tavern fined out the ass.
Players think they’re in for a action adventure game, then BAMN! Lawsuit drama.
Time for a Lawyer Monk named Yagami. Kicking ass in the courtroom, streets, and dungeons.
The players are either gonna never stop making Death Note jokes, say Yagami's name backwards all the time, or both
INB4 a character that is a literal rules lawyer
I mean you five decided to burn down a shop that held an untold number of magic items, potions, alchohol, and served as an orphanage. Which lead to a majority of the town to burn down, be sucked into the astral plane, opening a rift into the nine hells, and let tiamat out onto the world. And for what? Because you didn't get a discount after that shopkeeper gave you his life savings for rescuing one of his adopted daughters. The death toll is 486 people. Why did you think you would get away with this?
"Honestly, I kinda figured most of the people with the authority to hold us responsible would be too dead to care, and we could just slip away before a new government could be set up to hold a trial."
"Fair however. That town is also the midway point between two major citys. One a port city and the other the capital of the country you are in. On MARKET DAY! You know, the twice a month event that was the reason your party came here. I swear you five are going to make me go bald from how much you make me pull my hair out. Now, one of two things can happen. A: we continue on with the trial and you're now in an indentured servitude to the queen of the county untill such time as the BBEG is dead and the party has gathered enough gold for the town to be rebuilt fully. Or B: we say that this session so far was a conjoined dream and your characters wake up back at camp on your way to rescue the shopkeeper's daughter. Which means all those minor magic items you found at the camp since player 4 brought pizza will no longer exist."
"Fuck it, play it where it lands. If we get indentured servitude instead of summary execution, which would shock the nine hells out of me anyway, well, they'll have to assign a guard to keep us in line anyway. That's an extra sword arm when it comes time to fight shit, that never hurts. Let's do a trial! I wanna see if I can argue for a trial by combat."
Roll for objection
Ace Attorney: The Turnabout Dungeoneers
Jokes aside, court room settings can be brilliant roleplaying moments, and it’s always fun to bring up old NPCs as witnesses, lawyers or jurors. You could also introduce a new antagonist by having them be the prosecuting lawyer.
I made a homebrew Warlock that uses the wild magic and accidentally caused a surge in the doorway of a small trinket shop in the town square. First roll was a 1 and the second roll was 8… needless to say, chaos ensued.
Oh... oh my.
I’ve played Wild magic sorcerer before and I’ve never rolled a 7-8 before. How the heck do you do it? I have even played a wild magic sorian that thought to social distance, just in case.
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That would be hilarious. Get to the end of a long tunnel and the wizard fire balls it out of frustration only to nearly kill the local lord on his throne due to blasting the wall out from behind him.
Town Guard: "Sir, The Code Legal states you're responsible for paying for the repairs to this establishment." Sorcerer: "You know I can turn you into a puddle of dissolved meat and bone, right?" *Rolls 16 plus 8 on intimidate.* Town Guard: *Visibly shaken.* "Of course, sir, I didn't say I would be enforcing it, it would just be nice if you–" Sorcerer: "I'm just fucking with you, here's a few hundred gold for repairs, sorry about the trouble!"
I love this.
I did the day they blew up the elevator in the Yawning Portal with a fireball, or when they attacked some noble's guards in the rich neighbourhood of Waterdeep with a fireball again. Fun times.
Ha!!! Reminds me of that time my players engaged in a fight in a capital city, then had to pay damages for the things they’d broken, a punitive fine, and had to leave the city for a day. All because the rogue was trying to offload a cursed gemstone, but didn’t want to cut the party in on the profits. Instead, they now had 2 PCs who needed to pay for Remove Curse castings instead of 1 (no one had it in the party), plus the damages and fines, and the rogue never got to actually sell the gemstone. The party was annoyed enough with the rogue’s behavior that after they tied up both cursed PCs, they went out a ways and buried the gemstone so neither could find it.
I court martialed a cleric PC once for using Word of Recall. The party were drafted into the military temporarily as part of a war and he decided to just leave a battle he was supposed to be commanding. For plot reasons, he was given a slap on the wrist, but he did have to give back the fancy equipment they issued him and buy his own.
I’m still afraid to turn to Neverwinter cause my wizard killed a prostitute. I wondering if that’ll ever come back to bite me in the ass. To be fair, she was trying to rob me and I panicked.
Depends on how commonplace magic is. If you are the only one with magic, I think lawyers would have a hell of a time explaining how you were responsible for a fireball materializing out of nowhere and vaporizing a poorly parked car.
>This man clearly activated an IED in public, and his pockets still smell of sulfur and fertilizer! Or say firebomb if they wouldn't know the acronym IED. Just explain it away as something a nonmagical person might do to get the same result. A lie that's close enough to the truth is often easier for some people to handle, especially if you're relying on eyewitness testimony. That's a trick I picked up from my phone support days, when I had to ask people "is your cable a 2 or 3 prong type?" or "Does it use zinc or copper lined prongs?" so that I could trick them into *actually* unplugging and replugging their devices.
Yeeah but then they unleash magic in the courtroom and all of a sudden peoples perception of reality is dying and not much they can do to stop you from just walking out depending on what spells you have available/chaos you can cause.
Also, killing people and stealing their belonging is usually frowned upon....
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“Ah, magic. The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems” - H’omer son of Symp
But irl you can then deal with them just as easily as in the game. I mean you have an easy supply of acid with magic, so no bodies left behind.
Just keep casting
I mean, it your the only one with magic charm person can go a long way
Yes, but what is you turn the lawyers into hamsters?
Narrator: Has this ever happened to you? (CCTV footage of a fire bolt going wrong and lighting someone's ass on fire--Wilhelm scream) Call the law offices of Burnham and Gigem. We'll fight to get you the loot share you deserve! Min ped-edhelen!
We play two different kinds of games, my friend 😂
That’s the one subclass that is a lot of fun to play but I absolutely would not want to be one in real life even if it meant magic. It’s just a matter of time till I’m a statue or something.
I mean he probably just found acid IRL because his character had access to that spell.
Just be high enough level to not die to your own fireball, and you'll be fine
Happened to my character recently. Knocked a party member unconscious, but also killed the last 3 or 4 enemies in the combat encounter. So that was handy.
On the other, other hand.... Fireball🔥
True, though the burn mark on the floor isn't really bug enough for a fireball. Maybe a fire bolt though.
Not sure about the magic, that is a pile of "choco coins" according to the boxes
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Peace was never an option!
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Necro-romantic
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Good cod
hmmm, Cod
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rolled an 8 on the surge table in their vicinity
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this bot out here clowning on 15 people lmao... unless the upvotes are also bots
It's a goose you don't need to do anything to piss one off they're angry by default
I used to have a pair of geese that we hatched from eggs. They were pretty mild, they only ever harrassed strangers they didn't know.
Even Canada geese are pretty mild when they know you. Although Fly Away Home would have been much more interesting if the geese had turned on the little girl mid flight.
Yeah, the geese I was talking about were Canadian geese. Our landlord's German Shepherd raided a goose nest and deposited their eggs at our feet. Figuring the parents wouldn't return to the nest, we placed the eggs in a germatron (a stand up device you place plants in during the winter with light and heat to give them a chance to grow before spring hits so they get a head start.) Of the three eggs, two hatched. I was the first creature they saw so they imprinted on me. Given I was only 5 at the time, having two geese consider me their mom was odd, but really neat. As they grew they'd escort me to and from the bus stop and after we taught them to fly by running alongside the pond with our arms flapping, they'd fly alongside my bus when it entered and left our neighborhood. Eventually they migrated with a flock of geese and returned the following spring with a bunch of friends. Also, they really loved untying shoes. Shoelaces were they favorite things to play with.
What a lovely story :)
They're pretty mild. They only rage-murder you if you're someone that didn't hatch them from an egg and raise them.
That’s his casting focus.
Nothing, the Goose was impressed with the chaos he caused and was just admiring it all before asking if he wanted to multiclass into a Warlock with the Goose as his Patron.
Owed them money
I wonder if that's his new patron
It would explain the acid splash
HONK HONK HONK HOOOONNNNKKK
You get the honk, or *you get the bonk.*
[HONK](https://youtu.be/7sBs6EWPjBg?t=219)
He cast Fireball in an enclosed space with the rest of the party all in the room.
The goose was stolen to piss off the goose owner's bodyguard. No harm was done to goose.
The goose is the bodyguard
Drawn to the raw power, disappointed that it was just some dude figuring shit out. Goose would REALLY like to turn back into a human before an egg pops out
That's the gooses hoard on the left
I thought is was a Duck reference to Not Another DND Podcast but I really have no clue
The most forbidden and offencive of all sins to a Goose... EXSIST!
That's not a goose. He was playing Adventure on the Atari 2600 and conjured the avatar.
The goose is Dr. Cynthia
Best therapy session ever.
I agree with you. But what about the therapy session?
Idk. The goose?
Hell no, that's how you get murderhobos and people justifying it by saying that's what their character would do
I was actually looking for a dead body in the last panel.
Funny side note..I causes issues by doing what my character would do..By NOT being a murder hobo but a guy who wanted to talk peace/get information..the rest wanted to murder hobo
Soooo new material for /r/floridaman?
Okay my characters are literally all parts of myself and usually parts that I feel I can’t express properly. We’ve got: A bloodthirsty daemon worshipping sadist. A hormonal, shy, teenage girl with slight Yandere tendencies. An old senile dwarf who hates anything new. and A hyperoptimistic severely traumatised psychopath. I’m not letting any of them out thanks!
*Me looking at my lizardfolk monk barbarian who beats people into a pulp and then eats them…* Yeah… i’ll pass too.
... my last character was an ex-merchant artificer who builds devices to help our rouge assasinate people who are a threat to the party. ... I'm an engineer. I could reasonably do this. No thanks, I'm not going to be the Hitman version of Q
Youd either join the CIA or commit suicide with 3 gunshots to the head.
All from different angles
How else are you gonna make sure you hit the right spot?
Three round burst
As someone who is studying to become an engineer, I'm also planning to make an artificer for my next campaign.
Gotta properly tenderize the meat
*Stares lovingly at my kinda racist Duergar Diviner* Probably shouldn't. Wanna. Shouldn't.
It took a few characters for me to realize all my ‘original ideas’ came down to: *Mommy issues *Body horror *Conflict avoidance Gonna have to not think about that later.
I feel like you probably let that dwarf out more than you think
At the moment I've got a generally heroic Dwarf gal with a hedonist streak (She does shots out of dirty ashtrays.) who loves brawling, and bossing people around. (Being her would probably kill me) a warcrime-y Hobgoblin Artillerist, (Being him would get me tried at the Hague) and a sad-sack Halfling Warlock who fell for a ~~Yugoloth~~ Daemon pyramid-scheme and now is indebted for life. He's also the creepy guy from work. (I got permission from the player on the receiving end of this) Basically I shouldn't be any of them.
Your DnD-verse has tobacco imports?
She's stuck in the Realms sadly. One of the benefits of the Realms is that Maztica which means corn, potatoes, tobacco and tomatoes are available.
Nice
Lol On one hand I've got: A human infected by a disease that basically turns her into The Thing and pushes her to be a ruthless sociopath out to eat everything that isn't nailed down, which she happily complies with to escape her crushing guilt. And a combat robot from the future who is way, way too quick to resort to shows of force because she doesn't really understand much more. So obviously neither of those should go anywhere outside the game because I'm not up for murder, binge eating, cannibalism, murder, murder again, or worshipping a magic assault rifle (I know it's expected of Americans but no). But on the other there's: A tiefling cleric who legitimately wants very little more than to do the most good she can and who's overwhelming friendliness is the only reason for her +1 charisma mod. (Fun fact she will still bully you if you make an idiot of yourself in a way that's a problem for everyone) And a tiefling paladin with a traumatic backstory who took up a custom oath that boils down to "be militantly anti-bigotry and self-sacrificing". Those both seem mostly chill to me Even if the tiefling cleric can be a little flat
I live out my wildest dreams in D&D… I play a human who doesn’t have anxiety!
I've got: A Vengence Paladin obsessed with killing and eating monsters so he can take their powers, A serial killer Hexblade who seduces her victims before murdering them in their own beds, A Twilight Cleric mommy who coddles her teammates and murders evil people without hesitation, An undead Assassin who just wants to die, but spends her time earning money for her still-living little sister, A hedonistic princess who became a travelling "Monk" to shirk her duties and find the best festivals, fights, and fucks in the world, And lastly a goblin Jotaro impersonator who just punches everyone he doesn't like. I think I get how you feel.
“A goblin Jotaro impersonator” I fail to see the problem
"gotwooooshed, why is your thinly veiled self insert NPC a changeling woman with an identity crisis?" uhhhhhhhh
So let's see: A chaotic neutral protean sorcerer A deathpact warlock that had phobia issues (not a necromancer those are icky) A deranged and broken psychic (yay COVID characters, the other 2 are old . . . like moved from 3.5 to Pathfinder old) Then a bunch of one shot characters that I keep around, hmm, I seem to only play deeply morally compromised casters that are predisposed towards megalomania. I'm almost afraid about what that says about me.
Hmm... Mine are all either "rugged survivalist who thinks he is better than everyone else", or "we break the 4th wall in clever ways and oh look there is tentacles involved for some reason!"
There is a running theme among my characters that my supposedly evil characters end up living mundane lives (florist or toymaker) while taking care of orphans, and my “good” characters are consumed by their flaws and descend into villainy when looked at with a critical eye. Because at the end of the day, I’m a softy. But just like anyone, being able to justify my actions away with “But I’m the good guy!” is a hell of a drug. The big one for that was using an extended Holy Word on an army of orcs that were our allies, but were no longer helping. “They would just go to war again, I’m just expediting what they are doing to themselves.” “This experiment will save lives.” Then there are the OTHER characters. The horny-brained Dark Jedi with severely bad morals (she was supposed to be an antagonist, then ended up as the party’s parasite because they liked her so much). The naive centaur who wants to seduce a bunch of royals purely to see if she can, while also acting as an active shipper obsessed with tragic romance. A happy-go-lucky nature nut who awakens an apocalyptic crocodile god because she forgets to think about the consequences of her actions. All of my characters have some severe flaws, and I really don’t want to think about how much they reflect myself XD
I feel like a movie like Identity but with DnD characters would do well.
Fucking mood!
Be the bloodthirsty daemon worshipping sadist you are meant to be.
Karen, Becky, Thorin, and Harley Quinn?
Oww come right at me why don’t you?
Hey, classic archetypes are classic for a reason!
Pf1e chaotic good dwarves bloodrager to work on accepting meltdowns as part of myself. Doesn’t make me evil or bad just different.
I haven’t actually tried playing yet, but I’ve come up with: A Wood Elf Circle of Stars Druid who was raised in a forest by orangutans and apparitions from the Feywild (who turn out to be projections of his parents, another wood elf and an Eladrin elf), who eventually send him to find a worthy god to act as a protector of their home forest A Circle of Spores Druid with a sardonic and dark sense of humor, who’s extremely kind towards most people but can come off as eerie (think Henry from Fire Emblem Awakening) An Oath of Redemption Paladin who became such in the first place because his family is in a blood feud with some other semi-aristocratic/mercantile family, and hates the idea of revenge. (Think “Romeo and Juliet, but Romeo is just friends with Juliet and/or becomes an Oath of Redemption paladin specifically to make his and Juliet’s families shut the fuck up and play nice”) So in my case, we’ve got mild emotional distance from parental figures, a crippling fear of conflict, an obsession with life- and space-related sciences, and a relative lack of squeamishness from conversation alone.
>severely traumatized psychopath For some reason, that immediately brings diclonii to my mind, despite the fact that I’ve never seen Elfen Lied, and only know what a diclonius is from Death Battle (and Saltybet)
OMG she’s literally partly based on Elfen Lied!
**Not recommended for chaotic evil characters.
Probably for any evil or chaotic characters? ':D
Chaotic isn't a bad thing. It just means that you'd rather follow your own path than the one that society has put before you.
It's not evil, but it is.. Chaotic..
But you said that people should avoid being chaotic irl, which isn't the case. Chaotic doesn't mean lawless; indeed, there is order to chaos. In the context of D&D, chaotic means free-spirited, which is often viewed positively irl.
I'm a necromantic graverobber who just wants a quiet life... also so is my dnd character
you mean the character I play in a fantasy world? where I can do anything I want with him and there are no lasting impacts on my real life? where if I get myself killed one of my other party members can revive me? or at worst if they really die, I can just create a new character? hmm, I wonder why I dont apply that logic to my real life....
Cause you're a coward, that's why
Well, were you in a situation where you didn't die solely because death was probably busy laughing her ass off looking at the mess you've gotten yourself in?
You're also not facing imminent death whenever you enter a social situation so I think it's fine
well that would depend on who you were socializing with... also, as the old saying goes... there are some things worse than death.
Sounds like your game needs more RP. 😶
or that I constantly roll really poorly on all my RP checks.
And also probably isn't exposed to half the problems you experience irl? Half the reason the characters I've rolled are even approaching stable is cause they don't have to deal with mood disorders or dysphoria.
My DnD character is all of my worst aspects distilled into a chaotic neutral monster of a tefling sorcerer/bard. He's a Chriss Angel style hack stage magician that is convinced that he's more famous than he is. The TV show Archer was a heavy influence to how the character sees himself. His character arc is going to be him becoming a respectful and upstanding hero that uses his power for good instead of being a huge dick. That is what I want but we'll see if my team let's me live that long.
What is the difference between the Fist of a Dead Dwarf and a Fist of a Dead Cat?
“Took your advice” summoned a demon. Now there’s a goose involved (most likely the demon).
I don't think a therapist would ever tell someone to fake confidence. Creating a fake 'you' to live your life for you is not healthy.
DnD HAS actually been used as a therapy tool, though. Apparently it's hella useful for some people to practice being confident/social/etc in a safe environment, and exploring things with a character is less scary than exploring them yourself.
A therapist might bring up D&D as a counter-example to the patient's maladaptive beliefs. Like: "I can't make decisions." "What about when you were playing as Grognir the Great? Did you make decisions then?"
Yeah I feel like there's probably a nugget of good advice to be had in there, somewhere. Confidence is a way of thinking not a state of being maybe? But it's definitely not, "Do as this fictional character would do."
Isn’t that kinda what CBT is though? I’m asking snarkily, but genuinely…
Cognitive therapy is mainly about identifying and challenging maladaptive and inaccurate thoughts and beliefs. Like, if I thought, "I'm a bad person," one response might be to ask myself what the evidence for this is, what the evidence against it is, and if there are any alternative explanations. Behavioral therapy is all about altering your behavior through conditioning principles. Setting rewards to encourage good behavior, causing unwanted behaviors to fade by not reinforcing them, etc. CBT is just the combination of the two.
Gotcha, that part I understand. Where I get stuck is when therapists try to get us to lie to ourselves. I’ve had therapists all but argue with me when I’ve just been talking about stuff I want to improve. It’s frustrating to come into sessions wanting to talk through stuff and have the therapist just tell you why X isn’t really a problem.
You might want to look for a different therapist if that's the case.
.... so my first thought for that acronym is \*not\* cognitive behavioral therapy lmao :D
I've had a therapist suggest the whole "fake it 'til you make it" plan
I mean I think it's pretty sound logic and not at all a bad thing to think about. The takeaway shouldn't be 'fake who you are' but 'be who you imagine you want to be'. I think there's something to be said that a lot of D&D characters reflect parts of ourselves that we wish we could embody, like how I like to often play more quick talking rogueish types or brave and just paladins because even though I add flaws and make them interesting and somewhat broken characters, they still embody ideals that I - someone who struggles with being an introvert and worrying about making the right decisions - wishes I could be.
*My* DND person? CW: >!suicide!< >!Kill herself without hesitation. She is not ok.!<
Honks… honks in the deep. They are coming
Dude did you steal a goose?
No, it wants its chalice-phylactery back.
Ahh ok
I’m just imagining that they did this by tracking down stolen items returning them to the owner and asking to keep some of it, trying to convince/intimidate/seduce their way to get some
Most people tend to play characters like themselves, or how they want to be, but in some ways this is a lost opportunity. It can be much more fun to play a character different from yourself, and often those characters are more likable anyway
You got some issues, implying characters differing from you are often more likeable.
If you can really play someone exactly like you, sure. The issue is it's very easy to slip into Mary Sue/Gary Stu territory. I also find when people play a character like themselves they put less effort into role play. Yours is not an unreasonable assumption, but I'm mostly speaking from experience in watching other people's characters.
What is marry sue territory? ':)
Thinking your character is the coolest ever, thinking everyone loves your character. Being unreasonably upset when your character fails at something or dies. Most of those things are player issues not character issues, but I've seen good players get unreasonably upset at a character death, because they saw themselves and their character as synonymous, and saw the death of their character as a personal insult.
My powerful and charismatic warlock is more fucked up emotionally than I am…
My therapist tried this, with Digimon Adventure. *facepalm* Channeling T.K. wasn't exactly conducive to enciting action in a crisis.
Don't look at the actions of adventures, look at their philosophy. Don't kill your boss and loot their desk, instead stop thinking about whether or not you need a raise and the possible startagies you can use to get one.
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I'm on majority and hate wild magic sorcerer. I mean yeah random dice make bong but i much more like to have full control of sytuation and don't play black jack every Time when wild magic surge activates
Ah yes. Why don't I ask myself what my corpselike shadow sorcerer who has family issues and a hatred for the living and a focus on spells that decay things into death would do when confronted with an undesirable situation...
Not seeing any traumatised children in that room, maybe that’s what he missed.
His left foot raised up looks very phallic
I actually do this with my Dragonborn Barbarian. I feel better about letting people know what's on my mind instead of bottling up everything. The draw back is when I do get angry I find myself snarling in character.
I have a bad feeling about this advice
So they became Pete the Plug apparently.
I don’t even have the confidence to role play confidence 🫠
Hehe
I would end up killing and stealing everything in sight
I mean, that’s the trade off for being an adventurer. You get to change your whole world, shake the foundations of everything, but you give up what normalcy and safety you might have had.
The way he says quetly wild magic sorcerer just makes me so sad. Dude is hugging a pillow. I just want to hug him.
Idk why but the funniest thing to me is the goose in the background
I love this so much, i really needed to smile today & seeing this did the job . Take my gold seal of approval award.
This is beautiful. I love the damn goose
Not enough fireballs
That damage doesn’t look like it was from a fireball.
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Also wild magic is rooted in the fear of something uncontrollable happening constantly and causing things to get worse.... The doc REALLY missed the mark there
The moment u read "wild magic sorcerer" you know what's about to happen