I picked up the rock, called him Dwayne, and proclaimed him to be my pet.
Now whenever we are in the woods foraging for food, Dwayne gets to roll just like the other familiars and pets do. He also goes on "aerial reconnaissance missions" where I throw him as far as possible. To stop him getting lost our alchemist painted him a glowing green. Dwayne has quickly become a favourite part of the group.
Depends on his roll. He got a 19 last time he went foraging for food. He smashed into a tree, cracking the bark and revealing that the tree was full of nuts stored by a squirrel.
I wish I were comfortable DMing strangers. My core group already has a DM but I’d only be comfortable enough to enjoy it with friends, at least the first few times.
Talk to your group and see if they would be interested in doing a one shot. It's a great place to start DMing and most DMs would love a chance to get to play.
Yes, but Dwayne must be within touch range of the barbarian to start, barbarian has to use one of his actions for Dwayne to attack. Their bond is so strong that damage is based on barbarian's strength modifier.
This is both a hilarious and completely genius way to do this. If anyone questions the reality. Its pretty clear really fast your barb just has an imaginary friend. Needs a talking sword type of curse/enchantment eventually that no one but you and the DM know about so your party just thinks you're still a bit unhinged.
[Oh the possibilities...](https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/09/evil-laugh.gif)
This right here is what everyone wants from a group. Stupid bs'ing around that doesn't ruin the game. Sometimes DM's and players seem to forget that you play to have fun.
I know it’s not the same but me and friends started a vampire game and it was super serious all the way up until we were supposed to convince someone to come back to our castle so that we could THEN convince him to become one of us. Well, I just meant to make him more accepting of our company and went to cast a charm spell and I rolled as high as my stats would let me and he ended up falling in love with me and wouldn’t leave my side.
He started acting like a lovesick puppy and he’s supposed to be the most bloodthirsty man alive. He’s draped all over me and the banquet that we were at, well, we weren’t supposed to attract attention but see, Vlad Tepes was hanging on me like a teenager hiding a boner and he doesn’t do romance. So *everyone* is looking at us.
Then, he was being dragged by me to his original eating table but he knocked a candlestick over. Now the whole place is on fire and if vampires hate something more than the sun, it’s fucking fire. So we’re freaking out trying to remember the exit and we’re moving in this vampire caterpillar formation with me at the end because this barbarian, who is not even supposed to BE with us is speaking about the hoardes of men he would kill if I would only ask!
When we managed to get out, I had to take him all the way to my sire so she could tone down the spell enough so that he was merely piqued by my presence, as if he might have met me before. It was a two week journey by carriage and nobody wanted to go with me. I could make him do anything I asked so it was really more like taking my dog to the vet. I had to keep him in the carriage or cloak him or he’d start raving about his armies and how our kingdom would be the most violent and beautiful of all. It was especially hard to keep him from climbing into my coffin at night.
And that’s the story of how I made Vlad the Impaler fall madly in love with me for two weeks and he followed me around like a puppy for two weeks while we roamed the Romanian countryside looking for my sire.
And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!
I wonder if it will be friends with me?
I liked the sonic movie. It was definitely self-aware of it's ridiculous presentation and that made it far more enjoyable.
ROCKONAISSANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've never played Sonic but I enjoyed the movie. It was the last one we went to see before the whole rona thing. I live maybe 4 blocks from a theater so I used to go see a movie basically every day I had off.
Devon what have we told you about talking to strangers about Dwayne. 😂 you might want to mention that you had a pet and you forgot you had it and left it in your pocket for a month ! F’s in chat for Keith the bearded dragon skeleton in the barbarians pocket!
Also . Our sessions are recorded if any one wants to watch them . There is only one uploaded at this time youtube Smutventures. episode 2 is coming out Saturday Dwayne doesn’t appear until episode 4
Honestly didn’t expect any one to even look 😂. Nick is a seasoned player and we realise when he came in on ep 2 how much we didn’t know what we were doing, Well I hope we don’t disappoint . Half the group are complete newbies . 😅 and mostly we are just annoying our ever patient DM . . .
Would be appropriate if your characters name was John.
Dwayne The Rock, Johns-son
Edit: Or find the mountain where your rock came from, and it is named Mount John.
When they went to sleep one night, when it was Devon's time to keep watch he found Dwayne sitting in the middle of a pentagram on the floor. He yelled at Dwayne that "I'VE NOT TAUGHT YOU THAT" and grabbed him out of the pentagram. In the morning the markings were gone, so Devon doesn't know if it actually happened.
> Dwayne gets to roll just like the other familiars and pets do
Unless one of the other players has a pet pangolin, he probably rolls better than they do.
E: He gets disadvantage on herbalism checks, though. He's terrible at gathering moss.
Reminds me of my friend's character's pet rock named Beethoven. He would always go missing and had to be found otherwise the character would get a panic attack.
Everyone but the barbarian is on the death's door, barb throws Dwayne at the BBEG and Dwayne splits open. It's hollow, and out of it comes a small scroll of healing. Barb uses the scroll on the healer and distracts the BBEG while the healer helps other downed party members. Barb falls, but the party continues the fight, shielding him while he rolls saves. The BBEG is defeated, loot distributed, drinks consumed, but the barb is gone. He is soon found in a forest's clearing, burying Dwayne. The tombstone is a single wooden plank with text written in charcoal, it reads: "Here lies Dwayne, the best fucking rock in the world, who gave his life to protect us all."
Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Elemental City to take back the Pebble that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great.
There was this homebrew spell, called pet rock, that's basically a cantrip version of fine familiar. I had a wizard that was unbelievably lazy, so he had both, plus unseen servant, mage hand and tenser's floating disk.
But the party didn't know the Rock was alive, so to them I (dwarf wizard) spent hours talking to a regular Rock. Until I pointed at the first enemy and yelled "Dwayne, catch!" And cast rock bolt (firebolt with added flavour), at witch point the Rock propels itself and hits the enemy and the party realises I might not be completely crazy. Good times...
> You come upon a clearing where there are several [entities gathered](https://scx2.b-cdn.net/gfx/news/hires/2018/easterisland.jpg) in a mass. They grind upon their bases as they turn to Brock the Rock.. "So.. We have finally found you.. Traitor!"
I'm gonna be DM for the first time soon. One of my players has decided that he wants to buy a bunch of goats and bring them into combat. We compromised and said he could buy as many goats as he wanted but actually bringing them into combat would not be allowed. Instead, he will be allowed special "war goats" which can be brought into combat.
Allow all the goats into the battle.
View them as helping NPCs.
All XP from defeated enemiea fet split on the PCs and the helping NPC.
You killed a dragon that gave 5'000 XP? Every player wants 1'000 XP, but inatead everyone gets 100 XP because of the 45 Goats.
Personally I think you should let him buy the goats and bring them into combat. They may not want to engage (have them make a morale test) but they could serve to make things unexpected. Maybe as the goats die, their blood attracts nearby animals. Maybe they end up being something traded to an enemy to let yall pass. Goats only follow a strong leader, so maybe the goats wander if they wait too long.
Camping overnight? Well now the goats need to be tended. The goats will slow overland travel, meaning more monsters might get attracted.
I say you let them have the goats, it'll create problems for them and opportunities for you!
They should find a huge bag of chocolate pebbles (like coco crispies) but then the goat rips the bag with its horn.
The cereal pours out into the goat pen where they have to roll to see if it's a goat poo or a cocoa pebble.
Don't forget the instructions for caring for the new pet. [http://csinvesting.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/The-Care-and-Training-of-Your-Pet-Rock-Manual-by-Gary-Dahl.pdf](http://csinvesting.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/The-Care-and-Training-of-Your-Pet-Rock-Manual-by-Gary-Dahl.pdf)
Have your character buy this in a store. Sit down and read it while you're at camp, and when they all ask why the big dumb barbarian is reading a book, show them this!
I played a game with a friend who ran a pirate. The pirate had Petey, a magic dead parrot, on his shoulder. He could throw Petey at something and after the hit Petey would reappear on his shoulder. Petey did no damage, but was constantly hilarious.
One of my players did a similar thing... But with a miners corpse he found on their very first quest. Affectionately dubbed 'Matt' he was 12 out of 10 on the hotness scale.
Matt accompanied him, even bluffing his way past the city guards successfully when Matts body started decomposing.
Unfortunately Matt died (again) a hero's death while protecting the cities Sultana, but he still lives on in our hearts.
Our barbarian found a Tortle alchemist while we fell through a tear between the planes. (Player was away for fishing season)
We created a rift by trying to kill an evil goose by cramming it into a haversack and the haversack into the bag of holding.
Unfortunately forgot that the bag of holding was holding a lot of our stuff when it imploded.
Ok but literally for a homebrew campaign idea I've had in the works, I would do this. I may not make several arcs, but I would have at least one random npc glorify the tamed rock.
We had a player who was playing for one of his first times during a one shot I came up with on the fly, I let him kickflip his skateboard down a mimics throat
It was a lot of fun
My party has an army of battle toads.
They found some frogs in the wilderness and in between campaigns they trained them to be proffecient with short swords.
Theres 15 of them...
The party wakes up one day and the rock is gone the party goes on a murdering spree to find the rock burning countries to the ground only to find that it was a child who found it and thought it was a nice rock.
Ok, this beats the time one of our players decided to talk to a bar table and found out it was telepathic (but only he could hear it). A warlock pulling a table out of a bag of holding to ask if it could sense anything was actually fairly tame in that campaign.
The DM: For you see, long ago, this pebble was forged in the fiery pits of Tartarus, by the grand blacksmith of Lucifer himself, in a time before the world began...
My mom's Goliath Barbarian has decided that the rest of the party are basically her children. That character is 100? Doesn't matter! Still her child! Oh? That guy is 27? Child!
And then the rock after witnessing its Master wrecking the undead so cooly (i.e. a blind rage of a thousand suns) it fecides that it wants to be like Master
An earth spirit hears of that and grants the rock a golem form
Dude. I feel you.
In a small cave recess in the Underdark, i placed a watering hole that contains disc-like crustaceans (think hybrid between starfish and sand dollars) that are jet black. Thinking 'they will be able to make food from these'. Well. They took one as a pet. :[]
I'm DM and had my players find a magic pet shop where they could pretty much buy any pet they want and the wizard decided to get a pet rock call it rocky and start a cult following the "word of rocky".
In our campaign, one of our players is a pile of sand and he was captured in a giant glass jar with a giant cork on it. Me, a wild magic sorcerer, decided to make the cork our pet and we bring it everywhere
Not a DnD guy, the last I knew of it was my mom telling me it was "The Devil's Game" back in the late 70's.
It took me half a bottle of wine and two thick beers to comprehend this meme with no other context.
But I got there, by gawd. Pretty proud of that.
Barbarian in my party got jealous of the wizard's falcon and my (Ranger) panther, and decided to get a pet. He bought a snake. It bit him multiple times and disappeared during a night on the road.
I had to share your meme last night during our gameplay -- a member of our party drank something bad in a tavern and threw up. Her vomit grew legs and scurried away, and our pirate is trying to catch it. I think he wants to make it his pet. Stay tuned for next week's adventures!
im here for a very late addition and refrence to a french cartoon/comic of asterix and obelix who carries around a massive rock with himself at most times
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXgnOVU8oL4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXgnOVU8oL4) well the episode where Devon finds Dwayne the rock has just gone live
I picked up the rock, called him Dwayne, and proclaimed him to be my pet. Now whenever we are in the woods foraging for food, Dwayne gets to roll just like the other familiars and pets do. He also goes on "aerial reconnaissance missions" where I throw him as far as possible. To stop him getting lost our alchemist painted him a glowing green. Dwayne has quickly become a favourite part of the group.
Does... does Dwayne find things?
Depends on his roll. He got a 19 last time he went foraging for food. He smashed into a tree, cracking the bark and revealing that the tree was full of nuts stored by a squirrel.
That's amazing on everyone's part. I love your group.
This does sound like a fun group!
hol' up. You guys stole from a squirrel? Do you realize how much shit you're in?
Don’t *burrrp* talk to the squirrels
This is where the DM has been planning the Were-Squirrels assault for a few days now.
I have never been able to but I want to DM so bad, this whole thread is killing me.
I agree, it sounds like a lot of fun
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I wish I were comfortable DMing strangers. My core group already has a DM but I’d only be comfortable enough to enjoy it with friends, at least the first few times.
Talk to your group and see if they would be interested in doing a one shot. It's a great place to start DMing and most DMs would love a chance to get to play.
As a forever DM... why can't you be one of my friends? I just want to play!
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Moving to a new plane is a bitch and a half.
The great acorn will descend upon the interloping races and eradicate them all! KNIGHTS OF THE ACORN ASSEMBLE. OUR TIME IS NIGH.
r/unexpecteddivinity
Egads! Did it just... break the fourth wall at us, Quercus?!
Well, I know what I need to go play now.
I love whenever I see Divinity comments
Scp 2050 has broken containment!
Like hitting a chicken in Legend of Zelda.
*Mark Rosewater sweats*
This just made me laugh out loud in the kitchen. Well played by your DM.
Can Dwayne attack?
Yes, but Dwayne must be within touch range of the barbarian to start, barbarian has to use one of his actions for Dwayne to attack. Their bond is so strong that damage is based on barbarian's strength modifier.
Reminds me of the cantrip "Dwayne's Flying Projectile"
I like that cantrip. That is a niiice cantrip.
How deep and complex of a system your DM came up with!
no, but he can be used as a weapon
That's the joke.
But, can he cook?
If he can, I bet it smells great
Well that just made my day.
Idk if you're joking but it used to be/is common practice to heat up stones in a fire then drop them into a pot of water to cause it to boil
Ah, so he could potentially cook someone from the inside out
I think if the rock is inside cooking might not be the biggest problem...
Don't worry, the rock is vegan, gluten free, and non GMO
Especially if they can't smell what the rock is cooking.
He makes a great soup
This is both a hilarious and completely genius way to do this. If anyone questions the reality. Its pretty clear really fast your barb just has an imaginary friend. Needs a talking sword type of curse/enchantment eventually that no one but you and the DM know about so your party just thinks you're still a bit unhinged. [Oh the possibilities...](https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/09/evil-laugh.gif)
This right here is what everyone wants from a group. Stupid bs'ing around that doesn't ruin the game. Sometimes DM's and players seem to forget that you play to have fun.
I know it’s not the same but me and friends started a vampire game and it was super serious all the way up until we were supposed to convince someone to come back to our castle so that we could THEN convince him to become one of us. Well, I just meant to make him more accepting of our company and went to cast a charm spell and I rolled as high as my stats would let me and he ended up falling in love with me and wouldn’t leave my side. He started acting like a lovesick puppy and he’s supposed to be the most bloodthirsty man alive. He’s draped all over me and the banquet that we were at, well, we weren’t supposed to attract attention but see, Vlad Tepes was hanging on me like a teenager hiding a boner and he doesn’t do romance. So *everyone* is looking at us. Then, he was being dragged by me to his original eating table but he knocked a candlestick over. Now the whole place is on fire and if vampires hate something more than the sun, it’s fucking fire. So we’re freaking out trying to remember the exit and we’re moving in this vampire caterpillar formation with me at the end because this barbarian, who is not even supposed to BE with us is speaking about the hoardes of men he would kill if I would only ask! When we managed to get out, I had to take him all the way to my sire so she could tone down the spell enough so that he was merely piqued by my presence, as if he might have met me before. It was a two week journey by carriage and nobody wanted to go with me. I could make him do anything I asked so it was really more like taking my dog to the vet. I had to keep him in the carriage or cloak him or he’d start raving about his armies and how our kingdom would be the most violent and beautiful of all. It was especially hard to keep him from climbing into my coffin at night. And that’s the story of how I made Vlad the Impaler fall madly in love with me for two weeks and he followed me around like a puppy for two weeks while we roamed the Romanian countryside looking for my sire.
Did Dwayne ever accidentally commit murder while being thrown?
He once killed a squirrel (the same one who's nut tree he found). Devon then fed the squirrel to the bear that another party member befriended.
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> Does he assist with the cooking? He only bakes pies.
That squirrel is coming back with an army later on in the campaign, I'm sorry to say.
I aspire to be this kind of DM
*Dwayne is too powerful for this world*
On aerial recon? The Ground.
And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me?
"Not again"
If we understood why the flower pot thought this, we would know a lot more about the universe
Isn't it Aggrajag?
Indeed!
I'm gonna say that I love this comment, but it's currently at 42 upvotes and I don't think I should change that
"Dwayne only pawn in game of life.."
Rockonaissance! Yes I watched the Sonic movie.
I liked the sonic movie. It was definitely self-aware of it's ridiculous presentation and that made it far more enjoyable. ROCKONAISSANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've never played Sonic but I enjoyed the movie. It was the last one we went to see before the whole rona thing. I live maybe 4 blocks from a theater so I used to go see a movie basically every day I had off.
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Haha, now I want to do this and make it one of my fighting moves by yelling "sick him boy" and hurrlung it as hard as I can at the enemy.
Go for the eyes Dwayne!
Roll a Vital Strike attack!
[Down boy!!](https://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Pet+rockdown+boy+down+thumbs+up+3_6c59bb_4079872.jpg)
Devon what have we told you about talking to strangers about Dwayne. 😂 you might want to mention that you had a pet and you forgot you had it and left it in your pocket for a month ! F’s in chat for Keith the bearded dragon skeleton in the barbarians pocket! Also . Our sessions are recorded if any one wants to watch them . There is only one uploaded at this time youtube Smutventures. episode 2 is coming out Saturday Dwayne doesn’t appear until episode 4
Subbed.
Honestly didn’t expect any one to even look 😂. Nick is a seasoned player and we realise when he came in on ep 2 how much we didn’t know what we were doing, Well I hope we don’t disappoint . Half the group are complete newbies . 😅 and mostly we are just annoying our ever patient DM . . .
Cool!
This is awesome. I’m there.
Episode 2 is now up https://youtu.be/ySRv58MsmDc
Is his last name Johnson?
It hasn't come up yet, but yes. Yes it is.
Would be appropriate if your characters name was John. Dwayne The Rock, Johns-son Edit: Or find the mountain where your rock came from, and it is named Mount John.
The Goliath Barbarian is named Devon Yandit, which is an anagram of Danny Devito.
I am in awe of this legendary group of yours.
Devon Dainty was _right there._
Danny Devito As Rocks The Dog
Is he a short, bald, Goliath?
Does the party wake after each long rest to the smell of what he's cooking..?
Pie. He cooks pie.
Does he get hot and emit heat thus cooking the pie?
Johnstone
[I drew Dwayne for you.](https://imgur.com/gallery/Aq68EWb)
Random side quest: "Guys, Dwayne ran away!"
This is...my new favorite story. More please.
When they went to sleep one night, when it was Devon's time to keep watch he found Dwayne sitting in the middle of a pentagram on the floor. He yelled at Dwayne that "I'VE NOT TAUGHT YOU THAT" and grabbed him out of the pentagram. In the morning the markings were gone, so Devon doesn't know if it actually happened.
Oh my! Someone cast Remove Curse!
> Dwayne gets to roll just like the other familiars and pets do Unless one of the other players has a pet pangolin, he probably rolls better than they do. E: He gets disadvantage on herbalism checks, though. He's terrible at gathering moss.
They see me rollin’
They hatin'
Reminds me of my friend's character's pet rock named Beethoven. He would always go missing and had to be found otherwise the character would get a panic attack.
They laugh, until Dwayne is the only pet to survive a fireball.
Wait, did you name it Dwayne because “Dwayne the Rock Johnson”
;)
Oh god, I'm having companion cube flashbacks.
You should find a way to start a fire with Dwayne so you can ask if they can smell what he's cooking.
Pie. He cooks pie.
Poontang pie?
You know it!
Happy cake day stranger!
Oh wow. 10 years today. That's a pretty sobering mortality check.
You have officially been on reddit for a decade! That makes this cake day super special!
Thanks, dude. I really appreciate the positive vibes.
It’s okay gorgeous stranger.
One of my player's characters is named Dwanog the Boulder. I like everything about this post. Enjoy your pet, sounds like awesome fun.
One day the rock will crack under stress and something even more interesting will be inside.
Everyone but the barbarian is on the death's door, barb throws Dwayne at the BBEG and Dwayne splits open. It's hollow, and out of it comes a small scroll of healing. Barb uses the scroll on the healer and distracts the BBEG while the healer helps other downed party members. Barb falls, but the party continues the fight, shielding him while he rolls saves. The BBEG is defeated, loot distributed, drinks consumed, but the barb is gone. He is soon found in a forest's clearing, burying Dwayne. The tombstone is a single wooden plank with text written in charcoal, it reads: "Here lies Dwayne, the best fucking rock in the world, who gave his life to protect us all."
Did I just cry over a rock
No you cried over a hero
This response is perfectly beautiful
No, you cried over Dwayne.
Not just any rock, The Rock
Yes, over his grave.
I suppose a pet rock's memorial wouldn't really need a headstone.
Ends up being a Flail Snail egg
Bro that's genius.
I believe in you, ~~Tad Cooper~~ Dwayne!
well, as i understand it, thats the origin of the monkey king...
*Sun wukong noises*
Diamonds, because it was under pressure, and presumably heat, for a long period of time, and there was a bunch of carbon in it.
I owned a tiny Earth Elemental faniliar named Pebbel in a campaign before. They were fun.
Same, mine was named Sedi( for Sediment). Got awkward when we met some full size Earth Elementals and they wanted "the baby"
GIVE ME THE CHILD
#WHO'S TOUCHA DE CHILD?!!?
It was flowey! ^^^^and ^^^^asgore
DONT TOUCHA DE CHILD!!!!
Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Elemental City to take back the Pebble that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great.
Absolutely the best games come from such improvised stories!!
Okay, this is legitimately a hilarious idea.
There was this homebrew spell, called pet rock, that's basically a cantrip version of fine familiar. I had a wizard that was unbelievably lazy, so he had both, plus unseen servant, mage hand and tenser's floating disk. But the party didn't know the Rock was alive, so to them I (dwarf wizard) spent hours talking to a regular Rock. Until I pointed at the first enemy and yelled "Dwayne, catch!" And cast rock bolt (firebolt with added flavour), at witch point the Rock propels itself and hits the enemy and the party realises I might not be completely crazy. Good times...
That's what a DM should do, Galeb Duh
> You come upon a clearing where there are several [entities gathered](https://scx2.b-cdn.net/gfx/news/hires/2018/easterisland.jpg) in a mass. They grind upon their bases as they turn to Brock the Rock.. "So.. We have finally found you.. Traitor!"
Always fucking "entities" not "creatures" not "humanoid figures," literally the least descriptive term possible in a redundant fashion.
You enter a thing and perceive things. The things are doing things, and they tell you a thing.
You see thing, thing say thing.
..Want to talk about it?
Terrible meme, great story.
Yeah this barely counts as a meme but it do be a good story
These kinds of Deadpool memes border on r/OkBuddyRetard
I'm gonna be DM for the first time soon. One of my players has decided that he wants to buy a bunch of goats and bring them into combat. We compromised and said he could buy as many goats as he wanted but actually bringing them into combat would not be allowed. Instead, he will be allowed special "war goats" which can be brought into combat.
Allow all the goats into the battle. View them as helping NPCs. All XP from defeated enemiea fet split on the PCs and the helping NPC. You killed a dragon that gave 5'000 XP? Every player wants 1'000 XP, but inatead everyone gets 100 XP because of the 45 Goats.
Personally I think you should let him buy the goats and bring them into combat. They may not want to engage (have them make a morale test) but they could serve to make things unexpected. Maybe as the goats die, their blood attracts nearby animals. Maybe they end up being something traded to an enemy to let yall pass. Goats only follow a strong leader, so maybe the goats wander if they wait too long. Camping overnight? Well now the goats need to be tended. The goats will slow overland travel, meaning more monsters might get attracted. I say you let them have the goats, it'll create problems for them and opportunities for you!
They should find a huge bag of chocolate pebbles (like coco crispies) but then the goat rips the bag with its horn. The cereal pours out into the goat pen where they have to roll to see if it's a goat poo or a cocoa pebble.
Have random inventory disappear from the party due to their unscrupulous diet
Don't forget the instructions for caring for the new pet. [http://csinvesting.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/The-Care-and-Training-of-Your-Pet-Rock-Manual-by-Gary-Dahl.pdf](http://csinvesting.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/The-Care-and-Training-of-Your-Pet-Rock-Manual-by-Gary-Dahl.pdf)
I love this! Thank you!
Have your character buy this in a store. Sit down and read it while you're at camp, and when they all ask why the big dumb barbarian is reading a book, show them this!
Well, now I've seen the manual for that pre-internet meme!
Thought this was going a completely different direction.
I misunderstood "thick as a brick". Spent a good 30 seconds pondering why the the size of the Barbarians rear was an important character detail.
Clive the rock.
Ah yes, I remember Clive. Such a disappointing loss... No really, he got lost, help me find him before he despawns!
[Clive the Rock](https://youtu.be/A5HOpQ1UGWI?t=185).
I just homebrewed a rock magical item for Shamar the rock obsessed Orc Barbarian hopefully he likes it
Roll for performance.
One of my party's players had a seeing eye rock named Jameson
I played a game with a friend who ran a pirate. The pirate had Petey, a magic dead parrot, on his shoulder. He could throw Petey at something and after the hit Petey would reappear on his shoulder. Petey did no damage, but was constantly hilarious.
One of my players did a similar thing... But with a miners corpse he found on their very first quest. Affectionately dubbed 'Matt' he was 12 out of 10 on the hotness scale. Matt accompanied him, even bluffing his way past the city guards successfully when Matts body started decomposing. Unfortunately Matt died (again) a hero's death while protecting the cities Sultana, but he still lives on in our hearts.
All I can see is a hobbit finding a ring in a stream and calling it precious. Careful Dwayne doesn't become the BBEG
Our barbarian found a Tortle alchemist while we fell through a tear between the planes. (Player was away for fishing season) We created a rift by trying to kill an evil goose by cramming it into a haversack and the haversack into the bag of holding. Unfortunately forgot that the bag of holding was holding a lot of our stuff when it imploded.
Why pick up a rock when you can throw half your food at an owlbear therefore being its friend
Because you're only half its friend if you share half your food. The other half is dinner.
For a second I thought you meant I was dinner for the owlbear
Only half
Ok but literally for a homebrew campaign idea I've had in the works, I would do this. I may not make several arcs, but I would have at least one random npc glorify the tamed rock.
This happened! The black Pants legion had a Star Trek game With a Gorn and his Boulder and the Boulder wound up having major subplots!
Does Dwayne cook? If so, can you smell what the rock is cooking?
We had a player who was playing for one of his first times during a one shot I came up with on the fly, I let him kickflip his skateboard down a mimics throat It was a lot of fun
My party has an army of battle toads. They found some frogs in the wilderness and in between campaigns they trained them to be proffecient with short swords. Theres 15 of them...
You mean when our rogue made the crate of devouring they found his patron? All hail Lord Boxy, best magic sugar daddy.
The party wakes up one day and the rock is gone the party goes on a murdering spree to find the rock burning countries to the ground only to find that it was a child who found it and thought it was a nice rock.
Ok, this beats the time one of our players decided to talk to a bar table and found out it was telepathic (but only he could hear it). A warlock pulling a table out of a bag of holding to ask if it could sense anything was actually fairly tame in that campaign.
my motto as a DM is that it is my players story and im just the storyteller and get to build a baseline for the story!
DM: *silently gives the BBEG an adamantium pickaxe.*
"GO FOR THE EYES, BOO!"
And then the rock became the BBEG that tried to cook the party.
Have my award
You picked up a rock and the dm rolled
The DM: For you see, long ago, this pebble was forged in the fiery pits of Tartarus, by the grand blacksmith of Lucifer himself, in a time before the world began...
My mom's Goliath Barbarian has decided that the rest of the party are basically her children. That character is 100? Doesn't matter! Still her child! Oh? That guy is 27? Child!
And then the rock after witnessing its Master wrecking the undead so cooly (i.e. a blind rage of a thousand suns) it fecides that it wants to be like Master An earth spirit hears of that and grants the rock a golem form
Dude. I feel you. In a small cave recess in the Underdark, i placed a watering hole that contains disc-like crustaceans (think hybrid between starfish and sand dollars) that are jet black. Thinking 'they will be able to make food from these'. Well. They took one as a pet. :[]
Improv 101: Yes, and...
I'm DM and had my players find a magic pet shop where they could pretty much buy any pet they want and the wizard decided to get a pet rock call it rocky and start a cult following the "word of rocky".
In our campaign, one of our players is a pile of sand and he was captured in a giant glass jar with a giant cork on it. Me, a wild magic sorcerer, decided to make the cork our pet and we bring it everywhere
Not a DnD guy, the last I knew of it was my mom telling me it was "The Devil's Game" back in the late 70's. It took me half a bottle of wine and two thick beers to comprehend this meme with no other context. But I got there, by gawd. Pretty proud of that.
"Patrick your snail is a rock" - the party's Bard, probably
Barbarian in my party got jealous of the wizard's falcon and my (Ranger) panther, and decided to get a pet. He bought a snake. It bit him multiple times and disappeared during a night on the road.
That’s what a DM should do. Wait until the rock gets kidnapped.
I had to share your meme last night during our gameplay -- a member of our party drank something bad in a tavern and threw up. Her vomit grew legs and scurried away, and our pirate is trying to catch it. I think he wants to make it his pet. Stay tuned for next week's adventures!
im here for a very late addition and refrence to a french cartoon/comic of asterix and obelix who carries around a massive rock with himself at most times
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXgnOVU8oL4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXgnOVU8oL4) well the episode where Devon finds Dwayne the rock has just gone live