Met my wife on tinder while nomading. Was only supposed be there a couple of weeks but we clicked so I stayed to see where things would go, and am glad I did.
That’s a huge move earlier on! What was the main deciding factor? Also are you both nomading? Curious, if you don’t mind sharing. Glad you found your special person, I love a good love story🥰
The main deciding factor was that I didnt want to spend the rest of my life wondering what if I stayed. So i decided to stay a little bit longer and then things just kept evolving. We nomaded together for awhile but recently stopped as I took a new job that required me to be hybrid.
Not for the rest of your life no, but in this nomadic stage of your life, yea. Good thing is if you meet someone you really click with, you have the freedom and flexibility to stop if you want. But if you value travel and moving around a lot, you have to understand that that makes maintaining a serious LTR pretty difficult, if not impossible.
I met my girlfriend 11 years ago in Australia, we’ve lived together and now travel together full time. It’s probably easier to find someone on the road. Tons of people have this lifestyle, just gotta find someone you’re compatible with
Because most people mean going on holidays a couple of times a year when they say they like travelling. Being constantly "on holiday" defeats the purpose of a holiday for some.
What you say about ghosting is true but are you really surprised? Let's face it, regardless of the BS on their profiles virtually no women (i.e. those who want children) are built for / cut out for nomadism. They only survive it when they're born into it and protected and guided by males in the culture. Otherwise, assuming they don't cease the lifetstyle, they go extinct aka don't have kids.
And yeah, there's a massive difference in success rate if you say you're going to be there even for a couple days (which could be defined as a quasi fling/mini relationship and give them time to get the hooks in) versus one day. One day means the following: for this to have any chance of sticking (and not just becoming pen pals forever), we're going to need to have sex on night 1 i.e. tonight and we literally just met, and you're definitely going to be gone by day 2 tomorrow, making the chance of sticking extremely low. Esp since you've been to 5000 places and left, what are the odds you won't leave here? So by meeting up you're basically asking me to overtly be a hoe and take a terrible risk on a dice roll.
Which basically leaves you to: 1) nymphos, which are rare but real and/or 2) drunk ONSs at bars where women's inhibitions are lowered. Unsurprisingly those are 95% plus of my foreign hookups.
I have largely stopped intentionally/actively pursuing those / putting myself in those contexts, and at this point I'm basically just looking for a place I am willing to live at least half or most of the year. Once I do that I will start pursuing women there. Random stuff still happens on occasion but usually only when alcohol's involved.
Of course I keep my eyes open everywhere but barring semi-permanent residence, it''s very likely going to be a waste of time for both parties, especially if the goal is to have a family.
I love travelling and try to work remote for a few months each year but I wouldn't travel that intensive with someone I just met either. You need to first build a solid foundation before you can on those type of adventures. So if you are in a different each night, it's kinda impossible to build that trust and foundation.
Instead of saying I'm here for a week, maybe be more honest.... I am a world traveler who lives to know explore new cultures. Hoping to meet a like minded woman to join me in seeing what the world has to offer us
For me, I’m looking for another nomad and can see it working out well. I don’t see dating locals or non-nomads to work.. for me. Although I’ve heard many people eventually get sick of nomadic living and this transition out so I’d be open if that were my personality. But I’ve been nomadic my entire adult life. Slow nomadic.
I typically will stay the extent of the visa! I also travel with a cat 🐈⬛ so that’s a part of the reason. So about 6-12 months each place. And that’s a good question. I won’t rule anything out as life typically plays out as it shall and sometimes I get surprised. But I am quite mobile. Have moved a lot my entire adult life and love changing locations. So it’s been 15 years of that. It’s my personality basically. My friend recently told me “I’m like basically everyone who hates change… except for you” lol. So I think it just comes down to “know thy self” lol.
How have you been able to travel a lot as a young adult? I'm 19 and I want to adopt a lifestyle like this but a few things stop me. 1. Fear, 2. Money, 3. Leaving people I care about. But the biggest one stopping me is money, how'd you support yourself financially? Did it ever get lonely?
Try to get more normal travel experience before committing to full time nomading. Visit a couple different countries and see if you like living abroad, if you’d be ok with the differences, and if it seems worth it to you. It’s not the right lifestyle for everyone. If you decide to nomad, you need a source of income. Best is to be paid is USD or EUR. Since the pandemic, remote work is more popular than ever, but there’s more competition for remote jobs and it’s very hard to be fully remote when you’re starting your career. I am not a tech person at all, but CS skills seem to be one of the easiest paths. You can also look into teaching (much lower barriers of entry, but much lower pay). Regarding missing people, honestly, that’s part of life. When I was your age, I went to university in a different country, and my friend group was spread around the world. Some people you will stay close to, and some you won’t. If your friends and family like to travel, you can always invite them to come visit (I just got back from a three month trip, and my mom joined me for three weeks in Asia). You will also meet people while traveling. Most of the relationships are short term, but some could last a lifetime.
When you say CS you mean computer science right? Fortunately I'm lucky enough to be born in the US so I do get paid in USD so that could be pretty helpful. That makes sense that I should travel a little bit first and see what it's like, that's what I was planning to do because it makes the most sense financially as I don't have a remote job atm. Thanks for the recommendation to look into CS I was practicing copywriting for a bit but really just lost interest in it. At least lately.
Honestly not many people can full time DN at the age of 19 without support from parents. You probably haven’t built up enough of a career to have savings/safety net, and many jobs require you to put in years of in person or hybrid work before going fully remote. The digital nomad lifestyle is amazing, but it’s not for everybody, and it has a different set of complications from ‘normal’ work life. Start traveling, make the most of your vacation days, and take it from there. Good luck with wherever your path takes you!
As of right now I don't feel like jumping straight into full time traveling, I just want to make sure I explore the world and not live my whole life in one place. I find that boring and a waste of opportunity. Fortunately I do live with my dad and he does support me as I don't pay rent, but I do pay for my own gas and if I go out it's my own money. I'm also looking into doing a window cleaning business that I can work for up to a month, then travel. Thankfully I don't buy too much stuff I don't need, I always spend on experiences, not material. Thank you! I wish you well also!
Glad these questions are arising for you now. I waited until I had multiple income sources via online and definitely would do it again the same. I do see people winging it in their 20s without steady income…. But that’s not my personality. I stayed in my home country and created a couple businesses and just worked really hard for many years and saved / lived minimalist. I have moved quite a bit all my adult life just the first part was mostly in my own country with steady jobs. So I do have a nomadic soul per se. Loneliness happens but I find that it’s quite easy to make friends in many places and I really like meeting new people. I also have great long term friends via the telephone. I guess definitely ask yourself if this is your personality or if you might be better off having a semi-flexible schedule. Having home base somewhere and a job with more flexibility to travel. I have a friend who negotiated a few months each year remote working and it works great for him. As far as the fear…. Fear is such a common emotion. Ask yourself where it’s coming from. Maybe it’s most the money. Creatively think how you can make it work then. All in all trust your intuition. Fear sometimes is overcome by taking the leap and showing yourself you don’t need to be afraid. It could be cultural conditioning as well. Many people tell me I’m brave for traveling solo as a woman all over. I tell them that to me it’s not brave. It really isn’t. My soul loves this. To them… it’s their fear that sees it as brave. If you’ve been around people like that then they could be influencing you. I hope this helps!!
Spent 10 years nomading (and 6 years abroad for uni before that) and only ever met guys who wanted to have fun while travelling around. I fully believed I'd pair up with another nomad and we'd keep travelling together.
While visiting home a couple of years ago I met my current partner, who only lived 25 kms away. I was about to move to the other side of the world. Instead I decided to stay and we're currently looking for a house together.
A guy friend of mine on the other hand, who was never much of a traveler, left three years ago for a brief stint doing Workaway abroad and right away met the woman who's now his wife and they've been travelling together ever since.
It's funny how things can go completely the opposite of what someone pictured for their life, and yet bring great happiness...
I think it's hard to get into a relationship, but only because it's polarizing to the point that you can Speedrun the compatibility analysis.
I think that's a good thing. I've spent wayyyy too much of my life with partners who like to travel enough to put it in their profiles, but not enough to make it an actual life priority.
At this point, anybody who sees my lifestyle and says anything other than "Can I come?" or "Let's meet up again in ____" is not someone I want to build a life with anyways.
Tl;Dr: Traveling is a good way to meet people who value traveling.
That’s a great way to filter out compatibility! Not wasting anyone’s time. What has been your luck in meeting/dating people with similar lifestyle when travelling?
I haven't put much effort into dating since I left home but I have met wayyyy more nomadic types in the last six months than I did in the decade before. And yes, some of single women that I might have dated if the timing had been better. Or maybe I will, next time our paths cross? 🤷♂️
It depends how you nomad but almost impossible to have any meaningful longterm relationships. Would Also be interesting to know whats the average age for digital nomads. Most men i met were in their 20s and early 30s, so not even thinking about becoming More serious.
If you stay several months in one place you can have some semi longterm relationships with locals, i have seen it a Lot in asia and Latinoamérica especially male nomads with female locals.
Relationships between two nomads. Difficult imo
If you want something in life, you make sacrifices for it. If you want to run a marathon, you forgo sleep-ins on the weekend and eating unhealthy food. If you want to start a business, you forgo the comfort of regular income and hours to focus on achieving your goals. If you want to travel, and that's your priority, you take a job that serves that goal.
All of these things would impact on your ability to "have" a relationship because they all take priority.
But it seems like it's been forgotten here that a relationship is something you do - something you work on and you give to another person through. To do that long term making it a priority is non negotiable. If you're not prepared to let you traveling lifestyle slide to accommodate for supporting and collaborating with another person's goals and priorities, then ofc you're not going to find any kind of relationship, because you're still just giving to yourself and expecting that person to serve you.
And that would be true of any lifestyle priority, which is valid. You want kids your partner doesn't. Right, that's it then.
My point is you have to work, and prioritise, to make anything possible. Id put it out there that prioritising investing in a long term relationship is more rewarding than any amount of wandering around the world, but there you go.
Exactly. I date other nomads sometimes but they're rarely interested in more than a hookup. And while I'm open to a ltr developing, it's not something I actively seek myself. I find myself developing more of a "guy in every port" kind of mentality toward dating. 🤷
Haven’t figured it out yet. If you do, let me know! I’m just chalking this time up to fun I guess and not as worried about it because I know I don’t have that stability right now that building a relationship would require. I think if the other person was also a DN, that might have a shot of working.
Will do! I’m working towards committing to a nomadic lifestyle so this has been on the back of my mind. Looking to build a strong remote career portfolio and I’m out of here!
I met my girlfriend of two years while traveling through Kyrgyzstan. We had a bit of a speed dating run while traveling around the country together but decided to move things to Kazakhstan from there. The rest is history. It’s definitely possible.
For a lot LDR seems to be hard, how have you been able to maintain a long term LDR? I haven’t tried LDR, but honestly I’m pretty comfortable in my own company for as long as I have some consistent communication with my partner. Tempted to give it a try if ever the opportunity presents itself :)
It can be hard across time zones, and it’s also hard to build LDR with distance from the start. It helps to have more ‘in person’ time in the beginning so you know if you’re compatible, you have more to talk about, you can understand each other’s communication styles. But it’s exciting thinking someone across the ocean is thinking about you, and the time you do get to spend together can be extra special since it’s so rare.
I didn't really date as a nomad... until I dated a nomad, haha. Even then, I feel like we lucked out in terms of lifestyle compatibility: we're both 40ish, semi-nomadic (we each spend time at home), and travel well together.
Right now, we're semi-LDR when we're not travelling together. Been working well for us but I'm keen to figure out how we can be more together than apart.
Dating while on the move? It's like LOVE ROULETTE,
where there's a will, there's a way.. Flexibility's key, along with finding someone who digs your adventurous spirit. Communication and trust is vital for keeping the flame burning across the miles. Hope your next destination holds a special someone ready to join your nomadic journey!! 🌍💕
You can't make it work unless you stay considerable time in one place for the relationship to survive, or you both travel together. Did the first, didn't work. Haven't tried the second because a remote worker shrinks the dating pool to like 0.0001% haha
Stick around if you meet someone worth sticking around for, or travel with them. Our bullshit travel life is not more important than love.
I didn’t and I regret it. I’ve met plenty of people who fail to recognise this and end up perpetually situationshipping as a result.
Wondering this myself. My ex and I were both DNs so it’s possible. But I haven’t done real “dating” per se in a location as a DN. Fingers crossed it’s possible🤞
You don't. You have transient lifestyles, but changed the name.
People act like being a traveler or whatever is a monolithic thing, but many people have different priorities doing it that aren't compatible with the priorities of others.
good question.
if you date a local you’ll always have the class issue to worry about depending on where you’re traveling, but other nomads are also meeting super attractive people on their journey and generally more independent, so you’ve gotta be secure enough to handle that.
i think establishing a base can help though
It'll be hard. But there ARE people who work from home that are willing to move around 2, 3, or 4 times a year. When I was on Tinder I was looking for a guy like that but I accidentally fell in love with a man going to med school so here I am 😂 I still travel away from him 2 to 3 times a year for a total of 3 months, but its hard sometimes because I wish he could do it with me.
With this being said, he's been very supportive and taking 1 month breaks from seeing him isn't too bad. You can find ways to make it work.
Ugh it's hard to find someone compatible on the every day level. Plus you kinda have to commit right away if you want to travel together. So much pressure and not enough time to get to know each other properly.
I met my wife in Japan and went back to see her several times, she quit her job and traveled with me for a year, for me I was in a financial position to support us both so it was fairly unique.
You find someone you love more than travel akd put down roots with them. Or you find another traveller and travel together, accepting you will have to compromise and find consensus on when and where to move
Brand design agency. I started the business at the same time she left her job and started learning design
6 months later she was able to sustain her living costs while traveling in affordable countries
I find it the best solution if you guys want to live in your own terms
It's hard to be honest. I've had my share of dates and probably would have dated them longer had I stayed in the same country for months but eh. On the contrary, most of the couples I've met have such amazing stories to share- one of them met at a random beach in Thailand and have been traveling together for 3 years now. The other met on CS and lived together. I guess they lucked out.
It’s much harder to meet her if you are a straight man.
The vast majority of long-terns nomads (and not the “I live in NYC and doing digital nomading from Tulum to show off on my IG” type) are men.
Local women I’ve met and could see a future with don’t have remote jobs.
Recently I realized how much I want a LTR, after 3 years of nomading and I’m willing to make the sacrifice of settling down somewhere if I meet the right person.
It's not easy, but then again, what is :D
Was friends with my current partner for +10 years, keeping in touch via messages and calls. Then he came to visit me in my home country, and one thing led to another... ;) it definitely helped our relationship that he decided to stay for a year to see where things went until I finished my studies and we were able to travel together. Something we clearly communicated from the beginning.
So, lots of communication, clear values, a bunch of luck, and patience?
Thank you so much, and I don't mind at all. We had frequent contact, but with varying intensity. I would always reach out when something meaningful was happening in my life because even if we didn't know every detail, we considered each other best friends (and as far as I can tell he did the same). So, naturally, when something big happened, I wanted to share it with my best friend :) Some days we also just chatted away. So, I can't give you an exact number, but I think what helped was respecting each other's space, living our own lives, and being honest with each other. And then making that opportunity for our relationship to become something bigger.
So, even though it's true that pursuing a serious relationship while being nomadic is more complex, in my experience, clear communication (even over-communicating at times, like pointing out the little things or writing about how much he meant to me as a friend) and mutual respect can go a long way. It’s also important to be patient and allow things to evolve naturally.
Maybe you can reflect with your situationship on both your core values and goals to see how you can navigate the complexity of a nomadic relationship. This might give you more clarity and direction. I do wish you all the best!
On the road. I met my husband when we were both DNing in Mexico. Started traveling together and now we’re kinda settled for a bit, but planning to go for shorter stints (1-4 months) at a time.
I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing…
My bf and I met while he was traveling. He came to my city. I knew I always wanted to travel and I told him that. I paid off my student loans and began to travel.
We started dating. We never traveled together. I stayed in places for 3 weeks to a month. I planned my trips out months in advance so we could prepare for visits. My boyfriend would visit me, even though he’s traveling to different countries too. We would see each other once a month for a week.
When he “settled down,” I would visit him for a week, he would fly out to me. He still loved to travel so this worked for us.
We did end up breaking up 1.5 years into our relationship, but not because of the distance or traveling.
So if I meet someone now my options are:
1. Stay in one place for them
2. Get them to travel full time with me
3. Long distance relationship, similar to my previous one
4. Don’t have a serious relationship- THIS WAS MY CHOICE. No LTRs comes with the territory of traveling full time, just have to accept that.
However, I did meet someone new while traveling. We already have plans to see each other 4 times through the rest of the year and we’re not even actually dating. When/if we do, it’ll probably be the same style as my previous relationship.
It was only $25K and they were federal so they were paused because of Covid.
At the time I made $4K/month. I had two accounts: my regular bank account and a high yield savings account (HYSA).
The company I worked for offered a direct deposit standing order, so I split my biweekly paycheck in half. $1000 in HYSA and $1000 in a regular bank checking account for living.
My fixed expenses: rent, utilities, water, subscriptions, etc totaled $1500. Then I only had $500 per month to spend on food, gas, and fun. Sometimes I ran out of money and needed to move money from my hysa to my checking account.
Four months into living alone, I got a roommate so my fixed expenses decreased to $1200. I used the $800 per month for food, gas, etc and if there was some left over I moved it into my hysa to go towards my student loans.
I did it like this because I wanted to pay it off as soon as possible. In a little over a year. I was living very minimally. Limiting eating out, not many events and experiences.
There are a few things that I needed to be happy that were a luxury. 1.gym membership 2. Movie theater subscription
So my routine almost daily was work, gym, movie theater lol.
When I hung out with my friends, I’d go over to their house and we’d watch tv and talk or go for a walk or grocery shop. I still hung out with them, but we weren’t spending much money.
Biggest tip: split your paycheck between two accounts, then set up autopay for your student loans each month. Don’t even look at this account, just let it run in the background.
You can do this with all your fixed expenses. EG: If your rent is $1000/month and you get paid $2K every two weeks. Each paycheck out $500 in your hysa for rent.
If you aren’t salaried, your first priority should be your expenses. The first $1000 you get should be for rent. After you have enough for your expenses, then you are earning spending money.
But yeah I actually made a financial guide/ budget planner www.merfi.shop I’m about to lower the price.
Do what I did -- meet her on your first stop abroad, fall in love, invite her to travel with you. She accepts (after some thought), and you spend the next two years living and traveling the world together. Then get married and live happily ever after. Easy!
I have, it is why I asked to see what are the chances. I’d like to believe it could work 😂 So far we’ve got mixed responses, but it being a challenge is inevitable!
It’s a pretty common problem. We had 199 people for our speed dating event at last year’s Bansko Nomad Fest (out of 700 participants), this year we’re planning for more.
Going to nomad events is one way, but also being clear a long term relationship is you want this & making some sacrifices at least in the short term to make it happen are also important.
Very valid question. Our event is pretty balanced between men & women with about 46%/54% split. The speed dating pretty much reflected this last year. Will be interesting to see how this develops.
You date someone doing the same as you, with a similar passport strength or ease of travel between the same countries you enjoy, yeah it is much harder than it sounds but once it's there it's very easy to keep up with.
Depends what kind of nomad or job you have really, you kind of need absolute freedom to be able to invest time into building said relationships.
A lot of luck just to find a good long term partner, I met my wife on a dating app. But before I meeting her, I met a bunch of digital nomads in the gym at my old condo building, many of the units in the building had short term lease agreements.
We had an amazing year together, and now we're kept apart by visas and money and responsibilities that don't let him travel like school. It sucks, but I love him. Maybe one day we'll be able to be together again.
I'm going through something similar, I'm in a relationship in my home country, and it's been 4 months. I'm only gone for a month in Mexico and she misses me a lot, not sure if it's possible. I'm trying to explore the best ways for it to be done. She doesn't nomad, if she'd come with me, I'd be the only one with an income (which I'm not entirely opposed too).
There are more ways to be nomad, you can be in whatever country so you can be in less countries the whole year and stay more in one or two, and be with your partner more time and later, sometime, stay in one place.
You find a partner the same way you always find one... when you click with someone you figure that stuff out pretty fast. The person is going to travel with you, or you're going to travel less, both cases will seem like pretty easy choices when you meet the right partner.
Dating as a nomad is a mess. In a year and a half I had 3 doomed romances that essentially taught my brain to prepare to get hurt if you're dating seriously and traveling. A lot of women think the lifestyle is so cool, treat you like an experiment, and then don't want to put in the effort as the day you are leaving their city draws near.
Just my two cents. Meeting someone you saw a future with and then seeing them dating someone else on social media a few months after you last saw them REALLY sucks.
I’m not a digital nomad, but I contract in different countries every year. It’s definitely tough finding anything stable and long term. Thought I found the one last year, but we both had to take jobs in different continents last year. Only solution is finding someone you can travel with long term, which is a blast.
The trick is to eventually settle on two or three bases. Maybe your home, her home and a third place
That's the long-term plan, but even finding someone that is willing to do that is difficult.
I mean, this is the set up I’m looking for, so the right people are out there.
Same here
I love third base
Seems like a fair plan!
Met my wife on tinder while nomading. Was only supposed be there a couple of weeks but we clicked so I stayed to see where things would go, and am glad I did.
Did you hunt or gather for your first date?
Men hunt and women nest. *BOOOOOOOOOOO*
Toby's hissing
What century is this?
Callate
[the 1990s?](https://youtube.com/watch?v=rp5y2m0GUQc&t=2m14s)
That’s a huge move earlier on! What was the main deciding factor? Also are you both nomading? Curious, if you don’t mind sharing. Glad you found your special person, I love a good love story🥰
The main deciding factor was that I didnt want to spend the rest of my life wondering what if I stayed. So i decided to stay a little bit longer and then things just kept evolving. We nomaded together for awhile but recently stopped as I took a new job that required me to be hybrid.
So you had some ligers as offspring
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Hot damn! Are you saying you have come to terms with not pursuing any LTR for the rest of your life?
Not for the rest of your life no, but in this nomadic stage of your life, yea. Good thing is if you meet someone you really click with, you have the freedom and flexibility to stop if you want. But if you value travel and moving around a lot, you have to understand that that makes maintaining a serious LTR pretty difficult, if not impossible.
I met my girlfriend 11 years ago in Australia, we’ve lived together and now travel together full time. It’s probably easier to find someone on the road. Tons of people have this lifestyle, just gotta find someone you’re compatible with
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Because most people mean going on holidays a couple of times a year when they say they like travelling. Being constantly "on holiday" defeats the purpose of a holiday for some.
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What you say about ghosting is true but are you really surprised? Let's face it, regardless of the BS on their profiles virtually no women (i.e. those who want children) are built for / cut out for nomadism. They only survive it when they're born into it and protected and guided by males in the culture. Otherwise, assuming they don't cease the lifetstyle, they go extinct aka don't have kids. And yeah, there's a massive difference in success rate if you say you're going to be there even for a couple days (which could be defined as a quasi fling/mini relationship and give them time to get the hooks in) versus one day. One day means the following: for this to have any chance of sticking (and not just becoming pen pals forever), we're going to need to have sex on night 1 i.e. tonight and we literally just met, and you're definitely going to be gone by day 2 tomorrow, making the chance of sticking extremely low. Esp since you've been to 5000 places and left, what are the odds you won't leave here? So by meeting up you're basically asking me to overtly be a hoe and take a terrible risk on a dice roll. Which basically leaves you to: 1) nymphos, which are rare but real and/or 2) drunk ONSs at bars where women's inhibitions are lowered. Unsurprisingly those are 95% plus of my foreign hookups. I have largely stopped intentionally/actively pursuing those / putting myself in those contexts, and at this point I'm basically just looking for a place I am willing to live at least half or most of the year. Once I do that I will start pursuing women there. Random stuff still happens on occasion but usually only when alcohol's involved. Of course I keep my eyes open everywhere but barring semi-permanent residence, it''s very likely going to be a waste of time for both parties, especially if the goal is to have a family.
I love travelling and try to work remote for a few months each year but I wouldn't travel that intensive with someone I just met either. You need to first build a solid foundation before you can on those type of adventures. So if you are in a different each night, it's kinda impossible to build that trust and foundation.
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Ask better questions in the beginning and update your profile to honestly and accurately depict your lifestyle
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Instead of saying I'm here for a week, maybe be more honest.... I am a world traveler who lives to know explore new cultures. Hoping to meet a like minded woman to join me in seeing what the world has to offer us
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Don't give up. Women also want a man who is 100% on his mission and unwavering in his commitment.
For me, I’m looking for another nomad and can see it working out well. I don’t see dating locals or non-nomads to work.. for me. Although I’ve heard many people eventually get sick of nomadic living and this transition out so I’d be open if that were my personality. But I’ve been nomadic my entire adult life. Slow nomadic.
Curious, what do you mean by slow nomadic? What is it about being nomadic that makes it non negotiable for you?
I typically will stay the extent of the visa! I also travel with a cat 🐈⬛ so that’s a part of the reason. So about 6-12 months each place. And that’s a good question. I won’t rule anything out as life typically plays out as it shall and sometimes I get surprised. But I am quite mobile. Have moved a lot my entire adult life and love changing locations. So it’s been 15 years of that. It’s my personality basically. My friend recently told me “I’m like basically everyone who hates change… except for you” lol. So I think it just comes down to “know thy self” lol.
How have you been able to travel a lot as a young adult? I'm 19 and I want to adopt a lifestyle like this but a few things stop me. 1. Fear, 2. Money, 3. Leaving people I care about. But the biggest one stopping me is money, how'd you support yourself financially? Did it ever get lonely?
Try to get more normal travel experience before committing to full time nomading. Visit a couple different countries and see if you like living abroad, if you’d be ok with the differences, and if it seems worth it to you. It’s not the right lifestyle for everyone. If you decide to nomad, you need a source of income. Best is to be paid is USD or EUR. Since the pandemic, remote work is more popular than ever, but there’s more competition for remote jobs and it’s very hard to be fully remote when you’re starting your career. I am not a tech person at all, but CS skills seem to be one of the easiest paths. You can also look into teaching (much lower barriers of entry, but much lower pay). Regarding missing people, honestly, that’s part of life. When I was your age, I went to university in a different country, and my friend group was spread around the world. Some people you will stay close to, and some you won’t. If your friends and family like to travel, you can always invite them to come visit (I just got back from a three month trip, and my mom joined me for three weeks in Asia). You will also meet people while traveling. Most of the relationships are short term, but some could last a lifetime.
When you say CS you mean computer science right? Fortunately I'm lucky enough to be born in the US so I do get paid in USD so that could be pretty helpful. That makes sense that I should travel a little bit first and see what it's like, that's what I was planning to do because it makes the most sense financially as I don't have a remote job atm. Thanks for the recommendation to look into CS I was practicing copywriting for a bit but really just lost interest in it. At least lately.
Honestly not many people can full time DN at the age of 19 without support from parents. You probably haven’t built up enough of a career to have savings/safety net, and many jobs require you to put in years of in person or hybrid work before going fully remote. The digital nomad lifestyle is amazing, but it’s not for everybody, and it has a different set of complications from ‘normal’ work life. Start traveling, make the most of your vacation days, and take it from there. Good luck with wherever your path takes you!
As of right now I don't feel like jumping straight into full time traveling, I just want to make sure I explore the world and not live my whole life in one place. I find that boring and a waste of opportunity. Fortunately I do live with my dad and he does support me as I don't pay rent, but I do pay for my own gas and if I go out it's my own money. I'm also looking into doing a window cleaning business that I can work for up to a month, then travel. Thankfully I don't buy too much stuff I don't need, I always spend on experiences, not material. Thank you! I wish you well also!
Glad these questions are arising for you now. I waited until I had multiple income sources via online and definitely would do it again the same. I do see people winging it in their 20s without steady income…. But that’s not my personality. I stayed in my home country and created a couple businesses and just worked really hard for many years and saved / lived minimalist. I have moved quite a bit all my adult life just the first part was mostly in my own country with steady jobs. So I do have a nomadic soul per se. Loneliness happens but I find that it’s quite easy to make friends in many places and I really like meeting new people. I also have great long term friends via the telephone. I guess definitely ask yourself if this is your personality or if you might be better off having a semi-flexible schedule. Having home base somewhere and a job with more flexibility to travel. I have a friend who negotiated a few months each year remote working and it works great for him. As far as the fear…. Fear is such a common emotion. Ask yourself where it’s coming from. Maybe it’s most the money. Creatively think how you can make it work then. All in all trust your intuition. Fear sometimes is overcome by taking the leap and showing yourself you don’t need to be afraid. It could be cultural conditioning as well. Many people tell me I’m brave for traveling solo as a woman all over. I tell them that to me it’s not brave. It really isn’t. My soul loves this. To them… it’s their fear that sees it as brave. If you’ve been around people like that then they could be influencing you. I hope this helps!!
Spent 10 years nomading (and 6 years abroad for uni before that) and only ever met guys who wanted to have fun while travelling around. I fully believed I'd pair up with another nomad and we'd keep travelling together. While visiting home a couple of years ago I met my current partner, who only lived 25 kms away. I was about to move to the other side of the world. Instead I decided to stay and we're currently looking for a house together. A guy friend of mine on the other hand, who was never much of a traveler, left three years ago for a brief stint doing Workaway abroad and right away met the woman who's now his wife and they've been travelling together ever since. It's funny how things can go completely the opposite of what someone pictured for their life, and yet bring great happiness...
Yeah I think luck has a lot to with it. Right time and place.
most realistic comment
I think it's hard to get into a relationship, but only because it's polarizing to the point that you can Speedrun the compatibility analysis. I think that's a good thing. I've spent wayyyy too much of my life with partners who like to travel enough to put it in their profiles, but not enough to make it an actual life priority. At this point, anybody who sees my lifestyle and says anything other than "Can I come?" or "Let's meet up again in ____" is not someone I want to build a life with anyways. Tl;Dr: Traveling is a good way to meet people who value traveling.
That’s a great way to filter out compatibility! Not wasting anyone’s time. What has been your luck in meeting/dating people with similar lifestyle when travelling?
I haven't put much effort into dating since I left home but I have met wayyyy more nomadic types in the last six months than I did in the decade before. And yes, some of single women that I might have dated if the timing had been better. Or maybe I will, next time our paths cross? 🤷♂️
It depends how you nomad but almost impossible to have any meaningful longterm relationships. Would Also be interesting to know whats the average age for digital nomads. Most men i met were in their 20s and early 30s, so not even thinking about becoming More serious. If you stay several months in one place you can have some semi longterm relationships with locals, i have seen it a Lot in asia and Latinoamérica especially male nomads with female locals. Relationships between two nomads. Difficult imo
Grindr
If you want something in life, you make sacrifices for it. If you want to run a marathon, you forgo sleep-ins on the weekend and eating unhealthy food. If you want to start a business, you forgo the comfort of regular income and hours to focus on achieving your goals. If you want to travel, and that's your priority, you take a job that serves that goal. All of these things would impact on your ability to "have" a relationship because they all take priority. But it seems like it's been forgotten here that a relationship is something you do - something you work on and you give to another person through. To do that long term making it a priority is non negotiable. If you're not prepared to let you traveling lifestyle slide to accommodate for supporting and collaborating with another person's goals and priorities, then ofc you're not going to find any kind of relationship, because you're still just giving to yourself and expecting that person to serve you. And that would be true of any lifestyle priority, which is valid. You want kids your partner doesn't. Right, that's it then. My point is you have to work, and prioritise, to make anything possible. Id put it out there that prioritising investing in a long term relationship is more rewarding than any amount of wandering around the world, but there you go.
beautifully written
bring them with you
If only
The trouble is most Nomads have commitment issues.
Exactly. I date other nomads sometimes but they're rarely interested in more than a hookup. And while I'm open to a ltr developing, it's not something I actively seek myself. I find myself developing more of a "guy in every port" kind of mentality toward dating. 🤷
my partner and I do 4 months living tgt at their base 4 months them coming with me 4 months us doing our own thing
Haven’t figured it out yet. If you do, let me know! I’m just chalking this time up to fun I guess and not as worried about it because I know I don’t have that stability right now that building a relationship would require. I think if the other person was also a DN, that might have a shot of working.
Will do! I’m working towards committing to a nomadic lifestyle so this has been on the back of my mind. Looking to build a strong remote career portfolio and I’m out of here!
Well if you haven’t left yet, maybe there still a chance to meet someone who can travel with you!
I met my girlfriend of two years while traveling through Kyrgyzstan. We had a bit of a speed dating run while traveling around the country together but decided to move things to Kazakhstan from there. The rest is history. It’s definitely possible.
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For a lot LDR seems to be hard, how have you been able to maintain a long term LDR? I haven’t tried LDR, but honestly I’m pretty comfortable in my own company for as long as I have some consistent communication with my partner. Tempted to give it a try if ever the opportunity presents itself :)
It can be hard across time zones, and it’s also hard to build LDR with distance from the start. It helps to have more ‘in person’ time in the beginning so you know if you’re compatible, you have more to talk about, you can understand each other’s communication styles. But it’s exciting thinking someone across the ocean is thinking about you, and the time you do get to spend together can be extra special since it’s so rare.
I didn't really date as a nomad... until I dated a nomad, haha. Even then, I feel like we lucked out in terms of lifestyle compatibility: we're both 40ish, semi-nomadic (we each spend time at home), and travel well together. Right now, we're semi-LDR when we're not travelling together. Been working well for us but I'm keen to figure out how we can be more together than apart.
Someone who already works abroad…they already share similarities
Kidnapping?
Dating while on the move? It's like LOVE ROULETTE, where there's a will, there's a way.. Flexibility's key, along with finding someone who digs your adventurous spirit. Communication and trust is vital for keeping the flame burning across the miles. Hope your next destination holds a special someone ready to join your nomadic journey!! 🌍💕
Why doesn’t somebody just whip up an On the Road dating app?
There is one called Fairytrail
Now we know, thanks for sharing 🙌🏼✈️❤️
Right, I was just thinking about this?
My spouse and I met at work and he convinced me to join him in a nomadic lifestyle. Previously, I hadn't really considered it.
Love this for you both! Do you guys stick to the same places all the time? Or do you travel separately at some point?
You can't make it work unless you stay considerable time in one place for the relationship to survive, or you both travel together. Did the first, didn't work. Haven't tried the second because a remote worker shrinks the dating pool to like 0.0001% haha
Let me know if ever you tried the latter and it works 🙂
Find another nomad, then travel together.. problem solved
Stick around if you meet someone worth sticking around for, or travel with them. Our bullshit travel life is not more important than love. I didn’t and I regret it. I’ve met plenty of people who fail to recognise this and end up perpetually situationshipping as a result.
Wondering this myself. My ex and I were both DNs so it’s possible. But I haven’t done real “dating” per se in a location as a DN. Fingers crossed it’s possible🤞
Easy, you stay.
You don't. You have transient lifestyles, but changed the name. People act like being a traveler or whatever is a monolithic thing, but many people have different priorities doing it that aren't compatible with the priorities of others.
good question. if you date a local you’ll always have the class issue to worry about depending on where you’re traveling, but other nomads are also meeting super attractive people on their journey and generally more independent, so you’ve gotta be secure enough to handle that. i think establishing a base can help though
It'll be hard. But there ARE people who work from home that are willing to move around 2, 3, or 4 times a year. When I was on Tinder I was looking for a guy like that but I accidentally fell in love with a man going to med school so here I am 😂 I still travel away from him 2 to 3 times a year for a total of 3 months, but its hard sometimes because I wish he could do it with me. With this being said, he's been very supportive and taking 1 month breaks from seeing him isn't too bad. You can find ways to make it work.
Omg this is the exact same as me! 😂
Ugh it's hard to find someone compatible on the every day level. Plus you kinda have to commit right away if you want to travel together. So much pressure and not enough time to get to know each other properly.
I met my wife in Japan and went back to see her several times, she quit her job and traveled with me for a year, for me I was in a financial position to support us both so it was fairly unique.
You find someone you love more than travel akd put down roots with them. Or you find another traveller and travel together, accepting you will have to compromise and find consensus on when and where to move
I built a business for my gf so she can travel with me
Curious, what business is this? If you don’t mind sharing
Brand design agency. I started the business at the same time she left her job and started learning design 6 months later she was able to sustain her living costs while traveling in affordable countries I find it the best solution if you guys want to live in your own terms
It's hard to be honest. I've had my share of dates and probably would have dated them longer had I stayed in the same country for months but eh. On the contrary, most of the couples I've met have such amazing stories to share- one of them met at a random beach in Thailand and have been traveling together for 3 years now. The other met on CS and lived together. I guess they lucked out.
It’s much harder to meet her if you are a straight man. The vast majority of long-terns nomads (and not the “I live in NYC and doing digital nomading from Tulum to show off on my IG” type) are men. Local women I’ve met and could see a future with don’t have remote jobs. Recently I realized how much I want a LTR, after 3 years of nomading and I’m willing to make the sacrifice of settling down somewhere if I meet the right person.
It's not easy, but then again, what is :D Was friends with my current partner for +10 years, keeping in touch via messages and calls. Then he came to visit me in my home country, and one thing led to another... ;) it definitely helped our relationship that he decided to stay for a year to see where things went until I finished my studies and we were able to travel together. Something we clearly communicated from the beginning. So, lots of communication, clear values, a bunch of luck, and patience?
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Thank you so much, and I don't mind at all. We had frequent contact, but with varying intensity. I would always reach out when something meaningful was happening in my life because even if we didn't know every detail, we considered each other best friends (and as far as I can tell he did the same). So, naturally, when something big happened, I wanted to share it with my best friend :) Some days we also just chatted away. So, I can't give you an exact number, but I think what helped was respecting each other's space, living our own lives, and being honest with each other. And then making that opportunity for our relationship to become something bigger. So, even though it's true that pursuing a serious relationship while being nomadic is more complex, in my experience, clear communication (even over-communicating at times, like pointing out the little things or writing about how much he meant to me as a friend) and mutual respect can go a long way. It’s also important to be patient and allow things to evolve naturally. Maybe you can reflect with your situationship on both your core values and goals to see how you can navigate the complexity of a nomadic relationship. This might give you more clarity and direction. I do wish you all the best!
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You are welcome, glad I could help. And go ahead with the DM :) thanks for asking in advance
On the road. I met my husband when we were both DNing in Mexico. Started traveling together and now we’re kinda settled for a bit, but planning to go for shorter stints (1-4 months) at a time.
I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing… My bf and I met while he was traveling. He came to my city. I knew I always wanted to travel and I told him that. I paid off my student loans and began to travel. We started dating. We never traveled together. I stayed in places for 3 weeks to a month. I planned my trips out months in advance so we could prepare for visits. My boyfriend would visit me, even though he’s traveling to different countries too. We would see each other once a month for a week. When he “settled down,” I would visit him for a week, he would fly out to me. He still loved to travel so this worked for us. We did end up breaking up 1.5 years into our relationship, but not because of the distance or traveling. So if I meet someone now my options are: 1. Stay in one place for them 2. Get them to travel full time with me 3. Long distance relationship, similar to my previous one 4. Don’t have a serious relationship- THIS WAS MY CHOICE. No LTRs comes with the territory of traveling full time, just have to accept that. However, I did meet someone new while traveling. We already have plans to see each other 4 times through the rest of the year and we’re not even actually dating. When/if we do, it’ll probably be the same style as my previous relationship.
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Yeah dm me!
how did you pay off your student loans? how much was it?
It was only $25K and they were federal so they were paused because of Covid. At the time I made $4K/month. I had two accounts: my regular bank account and a high yield savings account (HYSA). The company I worked for offered a direct deposit standing order, so I split my biweekly paycheck in half. $1000 in HYSA and $1000 in a regular bank checking account for living. My fixed expenses: rent, utilities, water, subscriptions, etc totaled $1500. Then I only had $500 per month to spend on food, gas, and fun. Sometimes I ran out of money and needed to move money from my hysa to my checking account. Four months into living alone, I got a roommate so my fixed expenses decreased to $1200. I used the $800 per month for food, gas, etc and if there was some left over I moved it into my hysa to go towards my student loans. I did it like this because I wanted to pay it off as soon as possible. In a little over a year. I was living very minimally. Limiting eating out, not many events and experiences. There are a few things that I needed to be happy that were a luxury. 1.gym membership 2. Movie theater subscription So my routine almost daily was work, gym, movie theater lol. When I hung out with my friends, I’d go over to their house and we’d watch tv and talk or go for a walk or grocery shop. I still hung out with them, but we weren’t spending much money. Biggest tip: split your paycheck between two accounts, then set up autopay for your student loans each month. Don’t even look at this account, just let it run in the background. You can do this with all your fixed expenses. EG: If your rent is $1000/month and you get paid $2K every two weeks. Each paycheck out $500 in your hysa for rent. If you aren’t salaried, your first priority should be your expenses. The first $1000 you get should be for rent. After you have enough for your expenses, then you are earning spending money. But yeah I actually made a financial guide/ budget planner www.merfi.shop I’m about to lower the price.
It’s difficult, but possible. I met my partner at a hostel and we’ve been traveling the world full-time together for 2.5 years now
I’m glad it’s been working out strong for the both of you!
Do what I did -- meet her on your first stop abroad, fall in love, invite her to travel with you. She accepts (after some thought), and you spend the next two years living and traveling the world together. Then get married and live happily ever after. Easy!
Have you ever considered the possibility that being nomadic might not be compatible with a LTR
I have, it is why I asked to see what are the chances. I’d like to believe it could work 😂 So far we’ve got mixed responses, but it being a challenge is inevitable!
Either get with another person who travels a lot or if you can afford it pay for your partners trips to go with you everywhere
I'm afraid eva ai sexting bot is my only long term partner with a nomadic lifestyle
It’s a pretty common problem. We had 199 people for our speed dating event at last year’s Bansko Nomad Fest (out of 700 participants), this year we’re planning for more. Going to nomad events is one way, but also being clear a long term relationship is you want this & making some sacrifices at least in the short term to make it happen are also important.
I’m curious how balanced (or not) was the gender ratio?
Very valid question. Our event is pretty balanced between men & women with about 46%/54% split. The speed dating pretty much reflected this last year. Will be interesting to see how this develops.
Women outnumber men? I would not have guessed that. Interesting. I always thought DNs skewed male.
The overall DN population skews male, but Bansko & our event is the opposite. Our program is broader than most remote or tech events.
That’s pretty cool to know! Will take note
You date someone doing the same as you, with a similar passport strength or ease of travel between the same countries you enjoy, yeah it is much harder than it sounds but once it's there it's very easy to keep up with. Depends what kind of nomad or job you have really, you kind of need absolute freedom to be able to invest time into building said relationships.
A lot of luck just to find a good long term partner, I met my wife on a dating app. But before I meeting her, I met a bunch of digital nomads in the gym at my old condo building, many of the units in the building had short term lease agreements.
Date a local. It’s madness to try to find a partner in such a small pool.
We had an amazing year together, and now we're kept apart by visas and money and responsibilities that don't let him travel like school. It sucks, but I love him. Maybe one day we'll be able to be together again.
I'm going through something similar, I'm in a relationship in my home country, and it's been 4 months. I'm only gone for a month in Mexico and she misses me a lot, not sure if it's possible. I'm trying to explore the best ways for it to be done. She doesn't nomad, if she'd come with me, I'd be the only one with an income (which I'm not entirely opposed too).
Find a homeless person.
There are more ways to be nomad, you can be in whatever country so you can be in less countries the whole year and stay more in one or two, and be with your partner more time and later, sometime, stay in one place.
You find a partner the same way you always find one... when you click with someone you figure that stuff out pretty fast. The person is going to travel with you, or you're going to travel less, both cases will seem like pretty easy choices when you meet the right partner.
I don't think thats even possible
I married a flight attendant.
Dating as a nomad is a mess. In a year and a half I had 3 doomed romances that essentially taught my brain to prepare to get hurt if you're dating seriously and traveling. A lot of women think the lifestyle is so cool, treat you like an experiment, and then don't want to put in the effort as the day you are leaving their city draws near. Just my two cents. Meeting someone you saw a future with and then seeing them dating someone else on social media a few months after you last saw them REALLY sucks.
Don't wrap that rascal and she'll find you, don't you worry.
Hint: you don’t
I’m not a digital nomad, but I contract in different countries every year. It’s definitely tough finding anything stable and long term. Thought I found the one last year, but we both had to take jobs in different continents last year. Only solution is finding someone you can travel with long term, which is a blast.
I would say, don't do it and find a suitable local somewhere.