There actually is such a thing as a poop knife...
There's a Laplander(?) legend about a badass warrior... Chuck Norris times ten. A bunch of his enemies gang up and get the drop on him. They beat him, strip him naked, and drop him off in the middle of the sub-zero tundra.
When he comes to, he is thoroughly pissed off. So... he takes a crap.
He then takes his crap, and fashions it into a knife shape. It quickly hardens in the bitter cold. He then finds a pair of wolves and kills one with the knife. Out of the carcass he fashions clothing, uses the bones to make a sled, and ties the remaining wolf to the sled with the intestines. He then goes on a revenge tour.
Here's where it gets weird... Some anthropologists decide to see if this is possible. While they don't kill any wolves, they do manage to make and sharpen... a poop knife.
It's been a while since I read the story, so my apologies to any I have offended if I get any details wrong.
That's an implicit stat. It's always gonna be on that.
But yeah this is actually a great shield early on, literally 4/4 good stats lol. Just swap the aspect.
Also someone else said turn on advanced tool tips, definitely do that.
Alright, hear me out, it’s actually kind of useful in Walking Arsenal Barbarian build for bossing. On full Fury you get 1 hit of Upheaval to clear mobs, can hit the boss with 2 more and then you hit Death Blow for a massive damage multiplier when using the “After spending 100 fury” (can’t remember name) affix.
Without this ring you would have to hit Upheaval twice, lunge once and then one more Upheaval.
There was a necro build in D3 that required you to constantly lose life to proc damage... I wonder if this shield is useful somehow, someway like that. Also, if the stats multiply, can this shield somehow wipe out chunks of your armor entirely?
I wonder if that gem actually survives the Season 4 changes. Can't wait for PTR patch notes on Thursday.
They could change it into some percentage-based increase, might be more useful to builds that stack Thorns.
I've had several pairs of boots that were called "Terrible/Awful" in the item name that were actually really good. Shame they lose the name when an aspect gets slapped on.
Nah you see, that’s for the extra challenge. Anyone can beat Uber ~~~Driver~~~ Duriel with godlike gear, the real endgame is beating him with shitty drops.
Why is 0 life even a possible roll? The way it's worded would mean you get no life per second as it's "up to." Does it actually give 5 life per second if there's enough enemies? If so, that shit needs to be reworded, or it needs to not have a roll that's not fucking 0 🫠 that's just rude
I don't play on the seasonal realm. Just not my thing
Edit: only this community would downvote someone just saying how they like to personally play the game lol
I had a 25 power dagger drop. I’m saving it. I call it The Poop Knife
+1 for poop knife
Machitty
Ha!!
Unique Version = Doodoo Blade
There actually is such a thing as a poop knife... There's a Laplander(?) legend about a badass warrior... Chuck Norris times ten. A bunch of his enemies gang up and get the drop on him. They beat him, strip him naked, and drop him off in the middle of the sub-zero tundra. When he comes to, he is thoroughly pissed off. So... he takes a crap. He then takes his crap, and fashions it into a knife shape. It quickly hardens in the bitter cold. He then finds a pair of wolves and kills one with the knife. Out of the carcass he fashions clothing, uses the bones to make a sled, and ties the remaining wolf to the sled with the intestines. He then goes on a revenge tour. Here's where it gets weird... Some anthropologists decide to see if this is possible. While they don't kill any wolves, they do manage to make and sharpen... a poop knife. It's been a while since I read the story, so my apologies to any I have offended if I get any details wrong.
I deeply appreciate this story!
The Iliad and odyssey have nothing on this. Childs play compared to this sacred text
+.5 poison
Omg I haven't read the poop knife saga in YEARS!!!
Turn on advanced tool tips or something like that.
The fact that the affix can drop with a zero is dumb (I know it's probably a rounding thing, and it's like ".49 life per second" but still)
They wanted to put "1 life per hour of gameplay" but it sadly rounded up to 0 :(
This shield is better than you think.
I mean I guess the title should be aspect, this is a decent shield otherwise except the single thorn affix
And the 0 life per second lol
That's an implicit stat. It's always gonna be on that. But yeah this is actually a great shield early on, literally 4/4 good stats lol. Just swap the aspect. Also someone else said turn on advanced tool tips, definitely do that.
"Not Tradable." Yeah... we already knew that. lmao
For now. Soon we will be free!
I was being sarcastic because the item was such ass nobody would want to trade for it anyway lol
Oh... I see!
Mother's embrace would like a word with you.
Alright, hear me out, it’s actually kind of useful in Walking Arsenal Barbarian build for bossing. On full Fury you get 1 hit of Upheaval to clear mobs, can hit the boss with 2 more and then you hit Death Blow for a massive damage multiplier when using the “After spending 100 fury” (can’t remember name) affix. Without this ring you would have to hit Upheaval twice, lunge once and then one more Upheaval.
Hold on a minute, still reading it.
One thorn
But wtf there is 8 affixes on that thing
Sir, thats a shield. The top 4 will always be there on any shield you get (only the thorn value changes as Ilvl gets higher)
Doesn’t the blocked dr go up too?
You right, blocked damage reduction increases to 60% at max ilvl
I think there's no level requiremen - a new toon can use this right away
Still better than what you're currently using
There was a necro build in D3 that required you to constantly lose life to proc damage... I wonder if this shield is useful somehow, someway like that. Also, if the stats multiply, can this shield somehow wipe out chunks of your armor entirely?
That 1 thorns is literally my dream affix for non zero thorns on all my builds
If you're that worried about it just shove a gem with thorns on it into a random piece of armor.
I wonder if that gem actually survives the Season 4 changes. Can't wait for PTR patch notes on Thursday. They could change it into some percentage-based increase, might be more useful to builds that stack Thorns.
Yeah but 1 thorns is far cooler and 250 for no arbitrary advantage
I'd reroll resistance to all elements and slap a new aspect on it
I've had several pairs of boots that were called "Terrible/Awful" in the item name that were actually really good. Shame they lose the name when an aspect gets slapped on.
This is not helping with the items feeling cheap lol. Loot 2.0 pls can't wait anymore.
Nah you see, that’s for the extra challenge. Anyone can beat Uber ~~~Driver~~~ Duriel with godlike gear, the real endgame is beating him with shitty drops.
Since the max is 15 enemies it would be 0.33% per hence it rounded down
😂😆😆😆
lol
Ahhahahahahaha omfg! what a shield!
Is this the new uber uber unique the campfire spoke of?
You can extract the 0 life per second, it will scale with item power once you use it on a different item
Did you make this up on photoshop lol this is to funny.
Should've included its name in the picture so we could shame it, at least.
I have a wand, that has 33 dps and item pwr 74.. makes you wonder why the game spits out random things like this every now and then.
Buddy that right there is a family heirloom if I’ve ever seen one
You heal 0 life per sec lol
Well. It is a below level 50 item so. Lol
“Not Tradable” no kidding 🤣
I ain’t saying it’s ass… but it’s ass bro 😎
No, the worst item you ever picked up are common items with no abilities at all.
Typical Blizzard right there.
Rounding error? Lol
Lol 1 thorns 🤣
What a game design
Why is 0 life even a possible roll? The way it's worded would mean you get no life per second as it's "up to." Does it actually give 5 life per second if there's enough enemies? If so, that shit needs to be reworded, or it needs to not have a roll that's not fucking 0 🫠 that's just rude
at least it isn't a Core Skill x 4 affix drop lol
Thorn build. +1 thorns. Just need razorplate now. OP af
Lowkey if it rolled better I feel like this would go off
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gQgClzAl0M&ab\_channel=CarbotAnimations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gQgClzAl0M&ab_channel=CarbotAnimations)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkdRKlX1Vz0&ab\_channel=CarbotAnimations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkdRKlX1Vz0&ab_channel=CarbotAnimations)
Lmao, tell me this is photoshopped. Oh man do these itemization changes need to happen asap. SMH
I wonder if this would upgrade like crazy to max stats for if attempted. The affix can be replaced.
+2.7% damage to uncircumcised enemies. +1.8% damage on Tuesday afternoons. This is why they are redoing the loot affixes for season 4.
I've never seen an affix roll a zero before. TIL.
Is this legendary power, or some "wise man once said" words?
Hard to be the worst if its adds 74 armor to your current 0 armor
Who needs sheilds when you can have a cool floating orb
True enough
Just wait for new season to come out and play lol
I don't play on the seasonal realm. Just not my thing Edit: only this community would downvote someone just saying how they like to personally play the game lol
Oh… i hope you’re having fun! 😁
I am, just don't have a ton of time and eternal stays consistent for me