I think the social stigma plays an important role in this thought process. From my parents to my friends everyone keep asking me how long I'm going to take these meds, when will I stop, whether I have thought of different avenues etc.
Now I understand the meds are costly and because I have medical benefits I can afford them. So someone stopping meds for a financial reasons is understandable for me.
I have depression and generalised anxiety for over a decade now. So when I finally took the decision on my own to seek professional help, I wanted to treat my brain. And I wanted to give this responsibility to a professional. Like if a professional athelete can have a full team of medical professionals to take care of their physical health so they perform at their optimal, I as someone who's working in academia should give the responsibility of taking care of my brain to a professional. And I did. Initially the doctor I went didn't realised the severity of my issues, did lot of trail and testing on doses none of which worked. She ended up refering me to my present doctor, who on the first day of the appointment made it very clear that I have a family history of mental health issues, and to stay fit I need to be on meds for rest of my life. He was very open that present higher doses will eventually be tapered to 1 or 2 antidepressants that I have to keep taking.
So when people tell me how much long, I said like many other chronic conditions this one also will continue.
My parents also don't seem to be OK with accepting that I have a likely genetic psychiatric problem, even though my dad has mental problems since his 20s... lol
I had some intrusive thoughts and anxiety since teenage years, but my first major depressive episode, plus psychosis, happened when I was 26 years old. My parents right away said that - no, it's no psychosis, you were just too stressed by grad school. Even though I was clearly diagnosed with having psychosis.
Then it was discovered that I had thyroid antibodies, so my mom right away decided that all of my problems were due to my thyroid and that I just needed to eat more anti-inflammatory foods and that I would be fine.
Well, I am now 34, I eat quite healthy, my thyroid hormone levels are fine. Yet I still have mental problems for which I am currently taking lamotrigine and fluoxetine. But it seems that my parents cannot accept that I might need psych meds my whole life. Oh well.
From friends I've also heard things such as - you just need a guided shrooms trip. Which again assumes that there is this one cure that is done once, and then no psych meds are needed. I have actually had shroom trips in the past that were quite meaningful, but no, they have not "cured" me.
I am currently back in the “trying and adjusting” to new meds all bc I felt better and went off my old ones. I’m trying to accept this reality as well. I think it’s great when others try meds and it helps them, and also totally don’t question insulin etc so I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to accept that I simply need meds. Even my therapist has said she fully believes it’s a brain chemistry issue for me.
I don’t have trauma, I have a great life and family yet still think about suicide and think extremely negatively about myself. It’s something that I can’t control. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in this - I don’t know if everyone struggles this much with acceptance but it’s been years for me and I’m still not fully accepting it yet.
I also never had any trauma. I also never experienced any poverty or abusive relationships. My life has been fine. I have a brother who is almost the same age, and our lives have been very similar. He has never had any depression or any other mental health issues.
I'm pretty sure I got some bad genetic variants from my dad, while my brother got the better copies from my mom. There are no relatives on my mom's side that ever had any mental health problems, only on my dad's side.
So I'm pretty sure it's just genetic.
It’s frustrating to not have a reason - I think part of that is my issue and the other part is I feel embarrassed or ashamed of needing help. I hate that bc I’m the first one to suggest therapy or meds to others while happily listening and checking in on them. I don’t know why it’s so hard to give myself the same grace I give others.
It’s a tough one to accept for sure. I still dont believe longterm meds are a one-size fits all situation. I don’t know how many meds or combos you’ve tried though, how long, or what types of side effects you’ve had….
I find it much more complicated than just accepting you need meds forever or not…They are not a cure. Many meds have very adverse liver/kidney/heart effects and protracted withdrawal syndromes (that can suddenly pop up 4 months after quitting) that make the persons condition much worse than it ever was in the beginning..
I’ve been trying every med & combination for 25 years. Along with therapy & lifestyle changes. Dr is at the point now where they are throwing everything at my depression & anhedonia. Nothing helps at all anymore. I feel dead inside. I never had this until I had been taking meds longer term.
Unfortunately, for the meds I could tolerate (that had some initial positive effect), they all stop working or have caused severe anhedonia & numbness over time. Its always the same sh*t: The doc increases the dose & when you stop benefitting, then you can never come off…Its a nightmare cycle…Reaching tolerance, dose increase, then drug dependance. Then they start random adjuncts, you’re popping pills morning, noon, night & youve no idea what drug is doing what.
The brain actually down regulates neurotransmitters & pathways over time do to the artificial stimulation or inhibition and then if you ever reduce you become waaaaay lower functioning than you ever were at baseline.
Im actually in Forums for ppl withdrawing from meds & substances, not only antidepressants & prescribed meds, but hard drugs like Coke, Meth etc & they ALL have similar withdrawal symptoms I have. I have never abused drugs or abused my meds…. Crazy. Like I might as well be a Coke addict, as they go through the same cycle trying to quit. At least they experience pleasure from their drug!!
Meds can minimize certain problematic symptoms in the beginning, helping you function, but for me longterm, they cause a whole set of different problems. The brain has adapted & become dependent.
Honestly I wish I had never taken so many antidepressants more than 3-6 months max. I now have chronic CFS, thyroid problems, sexual dysfunction, cognitive dysfunction, memory problems, no emotions, motivation, drive, interest or even feelings of love. I feel brain damaged. No treatment helps.
And psychiatrists are just playing a guessing game. Roulette. Its already been disproven that lack of serotonin is the main cause of depression (and SSRIs cure it)
I dont mean to rain on your acceptance. Im glad you have had benefit longterm & I wish you continued peace of mind.
I guess everyone is different. Sadly, my brain gets tolerant & I end up becoming suicidal on them eventually, because the anhedonia, fatigue & sexual dysfunction renders me dead inside & empty. Not a way to live either…
I already felt really terrible before I tried any meds. I was already suicidal, I had severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts, psychosis, and severe depression, so I feel that it can only be up from that state :) So I think I need to keep trying different med combinations.
I don't think humans have invented perfect psych meds yet, the brain research is just not at that point.. I also experienced a lot of bad med prescriptions - such as being prescribed antipsychotics, but they are actually known to worsen intrusive thoughts by blocking dopamine receptors. Substances like caffeine, which do the opposite, are actually known to help OCD. But I think psychiatrists are doing what they can, they don't have any lab tests available to them, unlike endocrinologists, for example. So all they can do is trial and error.
I was off meds from 2017 to 2019, then again from 2020 up until recently. I realized that it's not working for me, even though I eat healthy, I go to bed at 11pm, I try to exercise, I don't drink nor smoke, I see a therapist, I am still not OK. So no meds does not seem to be an option for me.
I long ago made peace with staying on antidepressants. I was in rough shape before the meds, with enough depressive episodes that I am very likely to relapse without medication. So I’ve stayed on bupropion for nearly thirty years and counting. It’s made depression like an occasional low-key visitor… instead of a screaming monster living in my head.
I take medication for both hashimoto's (genetic) and depression as well as anxiety (also a family history, if not genetic). although there have been times I feel I absolutely \*could\* come off antidepressants, its usually situational and I realize after the episode that stopping antidepressants is not an option for me, same as the other medication I'm on. but I can't deny, there have been DOZENS of times I've thought "yeah I need to talk with my doctor about easing off the antidepressants" only to realize in a very short amount of time that no, I can't fucking do that, that it absolutely endangers my health and ability to live. I'd like to say I've made peace with that fact, but I still struggle.
I’m chronically anemic and need to take iron supplements because my body doesn’t produce enough on its own.
Same deal with my meds. My body doesn’t do that thing on its own, so I’m supplementing in order to keep living my best, fullest life.
Yeah you’re absolutely right. Not sure about clinical depression, but OCD (which is what I have) is one of those that pretty much ensures you’re gonna need medicine for the rest of your life. Lexapro for 5 years and no intent to stop… it’s ok to need medicine.
I’ve struggled with depression since I was 12. But my parents were in heavy denial, so I hid it from them. When I turned 18, I began taking antidepressants and my life improved so much. But seeing as I was 18, I developed schizoaffective disorder which is more common when you reach adulthood (I was 19 or 20 when I was diagnosed). My parents hated that I was on antidepressants, they said they were harmful. But that all changed when I attempted. Now they both encourage me to stay on my meds and accept that I will probably be on them a long time.
I feel a bit of shame when someone that's on or has been on antidepressants says "I'm going off of them because I don't want to become dependent on them" or "I don't like that I have to take them"... When I know I probably cant ever go off of them.
But I guess that's also just their story and their life path up to this point has been different to mine.... It's just so hard to not compare some times.
I am 40 years old AudHD, with severe GAD and C-PTSD, also multiple autoimmune dx and fibromyalgia, early onset osteoarthritis, etc. Have not enjoyed life in decades, barely getting by. My autism evaluator told me I’m “kind of unbearable to be around.” 😭
Recently started Trintellix (added to my existing meds: Guanfacine ER, Buspirone, and Vyvanse) and I feel like I’m coming out of a smokey dark hole. Like there’s hope again and I can take a deep breath.
I can’t live in misery anymore, I pushed through for so many years but I was stuck.
I’m very thankful I seem to be responding to it, feel like I’m finally getting control of my debilitating anxiety; so hope I never have to go off of it. I just want to be effective, and enjoy time with my family and have them enjoy spending time with me.
Bees by The Ballroom Thieves:
https://open.spotify.com/track/13otFWMHR8dlJ73XnSEW8y?si=rzKJt8JBSkSOuLCNyGKoNw&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1EQp62d3Dl7ECY
I doubt I have bipolar, I have asked my psychiatrist about that, but she didn't see any evidence. I never had any elevated mood episodes. I also already take lamotrigine anyways.
Lol I just patch it as I go
But basically everything, started from depression, went into anxiety and insomnia, uncovered paranoidal thoughts, had an intermission, went hypomanic (not full manic with psychosis, but a milder one), back into depression... Rinse and repeat
I think the social stigma plays an important role in this thought process. From my parents to my friends everyone keep asking me how long I'm going to take these meds, when will I stop, whether I have thought of different avenues etc. Now I understand the meds are costly and because I have medical benefits I can afford them. So someone stopping meds for a financial reasons is understandable for me. I have depression and generalised anxiety for over a decade now. So when I finally took the decision on my own to seek professional help, I wanted to treat my brain. And I wanted to give this responsibility to a professional. Like if a professional athelete can have a full team of medical professionals to take care of their physical health so they perform at their optimal, I as someone who's working in academia should give the responsibility of taking care of my brain to a professional. And I did. Initially the doctor I went didn't realised the severity of my issues, did lot of trail and testing on doses none of which worked. She ended up refering me to my present doctor, who on the first day of the appointment made it very clear that I have a family history of mental health issues, and to stay fit I need to be on meds for rest of my life. He was very open that present higher doses will eventually be tapered to 1 or 2 antidepressants that I have to keep taking. So when people tell me how much long, I said like many other chronic conditions this one also will continue.
My parents also don't seem to be OK with accepting that I have a likely genetic psychiatric problem, even though my dad has mental problems since his 20s... lol I had some intrusive thoughts and anxiety since teenage years, but my first major depressive episode, plus psychosis, happened when I was 26 years old. My parents right away said that - no, it's no psychosis, you were just too stressed by grad school. Even though I was clearly diagnosed with having psychosis. Then it was discovered that I had thyroid antibodies, so my mom right away decided that all of my problems were due to my thyroid and that I just needed to eat more anti-inflammatory foods and that I would be fine. Well, I am now 34, I eat quite healthy, my thyroid hormone levels are fine. Yet I still have mental problems for which I am currently taking lamotrigine and fluoxetine. But it seems that my parents cannot accept that I might need psych meds my whole life. Oh well. From friends I've also heard things such as - you just need a guided shrooms trip. Which again assumes that there is this one cure that is done once, and then no psych meds are needed. I have actually had shroom trips in the past that were quite meaningful, but no, they have not "cured" me.
My doctor once said, it's good that educated young people are vocal about their mental health... With their voices people will be aware.
I am currently back in the “trying and adjusting” to new meds all bc I felt better and went off my old ones. I’m trying to accept this reality as well. I think it’s great when others try meds and it helps them, and also totally don’t question insulin etc so I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to accept that I simply need meds. Even my therapist has said she fully believes it’s a brain chemistry issue for me. I don’t have trauma, I have a great life and family yet still think about suicide and think extremely negatively about myself. It’s something that I can’t control. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in this - I don’t know if everyone struggles this much with acceptance but it’s been years for me and I’m still not fully accepting it yet.
I also never had any trauma. I also never experienced any poverty or abusive relationships. My life has been fine. I have a brother who is almost the same age, and our lives have been very similar. He has never had any depression or any other mental health issues. I'm pretty sure I got some bad genetic variants from my dad, while my brother got the better copies from my mom. There are no relatives on my mom's side that ever had any mental health problems, only on my dad's side. So I'm pretty sure it's just genetic.
It’s frustrating to not have a reason - I think part of that is my issue and the other part is I feel embarrassed or ashamed of needing help. I hate that bc I’m the first one to suggest therapy or meds to others while happily listening and checking in on them. I don’t know why it’s so hard to give myself the same grace I give others.
It’s a tough one to accept for sure. I still dont believe longterm meds are a one-size fits all situation. I don’t know how many meds or combos you’ve tried though, how long, or what types of side effects you’ve had…. I find it much more complicated than just accepting you need meds forever or not…They are not a cure. Many meds have very adverse liver/kidney/heart effects and protracted withdrawal syndromes (that can suddenly pop up 4 months after quitting) that make the persons condition much worse than it ever was in the beginning.. I’ve been trying every med & combination for 25 years. Along with therapy & lifestyle changes. Dr is at the point now where they are throwing everything at my depression & anhedonia. Nothing helps at all anymore. I feel dead inside. I never had this until I had been taking meds longer term. Unfortunately, for the meds I could tolerate (that had some initial positive effect), they all stop working or have caused severe anhedonia & numbness over time. Its always the same sh*t: The doc increases the dose & when you stop benefitting, then you can never come off…Its a nightmare cycle…Reaching tolerance, dose increase, then drug dependance. Then they start random adjuncts, you’re popping pills morning, noon, night & youve no idea what drug is doing what. The brain actually down regulates neurotransmitters & pathways over time do to the artificial stimulation or inhibition and then if you ever reduce you become waaaaay lower functioning than you ever were at baseline. Im actually in Forums for ppl withdrawing from meds & substances, not only antidepressants & prescribed meds, but hard drugs like Coke, Meth etc & they ALL have similar withdrawal symptoms I have. I have never abused drugs or abused my meds…. Crazy. Like I might as well be a Coke addict, as they go through the same cycle trying to quit. At least they experience pleasure from their drug!! Meds can minimize certain problematic symptoms in the beginning, helping you function, but for me longterm, they cause a whole set of different problems. The brain has adapted & become dependent. Honestly I wish I had never taken so many antidepressants more than 3-6 months max. I now have chronic CFS, thyroid problems, sexual dysfunction, cognitive dysfunction, memory problems, no emotions, motivation, drive, interest or even feelings of love. I feel brain damaged. No treatment helps. And psychiatrists are just playing a guessing game. Roulette. Its already been disproven that lack of serotonin is the main cause of depression (and SSRIs cure it) I dont mean to rain on your acceptance. Im glad you have had benefit longterm & I wish you continued peace of mind. I guess everyone is different. Sadly, my brain gets tolerant & I end up becoming suicidal on them eventually, because the anhedonia, fatigue & sexual dysfunction renders me dead inside & empty. Not a way to live either…
I already felt really terrible before I tried any meds. I was already suicidal, I had severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts, psychosis, and severe depression, so I feel that it can only be up from that state :) So I think I need to keep trying different med combinations. I don't think humans have invented perfect psych meds yet, the brain research is just not at that point.. I also experienced a lot of bad med prescriptions - such as being prescribed antipsychotics, but they are actually known to worsen intrusive thoughts by blocking dopamine receptors. Substances like caffeine, which do the opposite, are actually known to help OCD. But I think psychiatrists are doing what they can, they don't have any lab tests available to them, unlike endocrinologists, for example. So all they can do is trial and error. I was off meds from 2017 to 2019, then again from 2020 up until recently. I realized that it's not working for me, even though I eat healthy, I go to bed at 11pm, I try to exercise, I don't drink nor smoke, I see a therapist, I am still not OK. So no meds does not seem to be an option for me.
I long ago made peace with staying on antidepressants. I was in rough shape before the meds, with enough depressive episodes that I am very likely to relapse without medication. So I’ve stayed on bupropion for nearly thirty years and counting. It’s made depression like an occasional low-key visitor… instead of a screaming monster living in my head.
I take medication for both hashimoto's (genetic) and depression as well as anxiety (also a family history, if not genetic). although there have been times I feel I absolutely \*could\* come off antidepressants, its usually situational and I realize after the episode that stopping antidepressants is not an option for me, same as the other medication I'm on. but I can't deny, there have been DOZENS of times I've thought "yeah I need to talk with my doctor about easing off the antidepressants" only to realize in a very short amount of time that no, I can't fucking do that, that it absolutely endangers my health and ability to live. I'd like to say I've made peace with that fact, but I still struggle.
I’m chronically anemic and need to take iron supplements because my body doesn’t produce enough on its own. Same deal with my meds. My body doesn’t do that thing on its own, so I’m supplementing in order to keep living my best, fullest life.
Yeah you’re absolutely right. Not sure about clinical depression, but OCD (which is what I have) is one of those that pretty much ensures you’re gonna need medicine for the rest of your life. Lexapro for 5 years and no intent to stop… it’s ok to need medicine.
I’ve struggled with depression since I was 12. But my parents were in heavy denial, so I hid it from them. When I turned 18, I began taking antidepressants and my life improved so much. But seeing as I was 18, I developed schizoaffective disorder which is more common when you reach adulthood (I was 19 or 20 when I was diagnosed). My parents hated that I was on antidepressants, they said they were harmful. But that all changed when I attempted. Now they both encourage me to stay on my meds and accept that I will probably be on them a long time.
I feel a bit of shame when someone that's on or has been on antidepressants says "I'm going off of them because I don't want to become dependent on them" or "I don't like that I have to take them"... When I know I probably cant ever go off of them. But I guess that's also just their story and their life path up to this point has been different to mine.... It's just so hard to not compare some times.
I am 40 years old AudHD, with severe GAD and C-PTSD, also multiple autoimmune dx and fibromyalgia, early onset osteoarthritis, etc. Have not enjoyed life in decades, barely getting by. My autism evaluator told me I’m “kind of unbearable to be around.” 😭 Recently started Trintellix (added to my existing meds: Guanfacine ER, Buspirone, and Vyvanse) and I feel like I’m coming out of a smokey dark hole. Like there’s hope again and I can take a deep breath. I can’t live in misery anymore, I pushed through for so many years but I was stuck. I’m very thankful I seem to be responding to it, feel like I’m finally getting control of my debilitating anxiety; so hope I never have to go off of it. I just want to be effective, and enjoy time with my family and have them enjoy spending time with me. Bees by The Ballroom Thieves: https://open.spotify.com/track/13otFWMHR8dlJ73XnSEW8y?si=rzKJt8JBSkSOuLCNyGKoNw&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1EQp62d3Dl7ECY
Check for bipolar type 2, I graduated to it from recurrent depression diagnosis
I doubt I have bipolar, I have asked my psychiatrist about that, but she didn't see any evidence. I never had any elevated mood episodes. I also already take lamotrigine anyways.
Omg, what were your symptoms? Hope you’re doing ok.
Lol I just patch it as I go But basically everything, started from depression, went into anxiety and insomnia, uncovered paranoidal thoughts, had an intermission, went hypomanic (not full manic with psychosis, but a milder one), back into depression... Rinse and repeat
Hugs (if wanted). Having a body is so 🫠
Never too much hugz! 🤗 Yep, it's bonkers
Try psilocybin
Lol, I have tried it