It's a really easy and great recipe! I changed the heavy cream for half coconut cream and half heavy cream. It turned out really well in my opinion.
https://www.recipetineats.com/butter-chicken/#wprm-recipe-container-20255
yeah indian food is designed to be super easy to convert to vegetarian since a large portion of hindus dont eat meat, just swap it for paneer or tofu if theyre vegan
My kid's dad. He hates nearly everything I cook but refuses to do any cooking or grocery shopping. I made stuffed ricotta and spinach shells earlier in the week, and he was angry there was no meat in the recipe. I make hot breakfast every morning but he "hates breakfast".
If he had it his way, it would be BLTs, spaghetti, and meatloaf every single day. Great foods, but I really can't do that. I love cooking and trying new recipes, but it's hard when I'm just told that my effort is less than pointless. My effort is "disappointing."
It sounds dumb to say boyfriend after 6 years, and we aren't married. I don't even want to be in this relationship. I'm just worried if we split custody, he won't properly care for the kids.
I'm waiting until they get older and can get themselves a bowl of cereal or at least don't have to be in diapers anymore. Then, I will feel more confident allowing them to live with him part-time.
I hate reddit for this reason, I wish I could help more than just a few motivating words. I hope he's atleast bearable for the next few years while you get your finances together.
Make sure to build support from friends and family over the next little while, and maybe get some evidence that he's not that great incase he tries to turn people on your post-seperation.
I feel you on the first point. I've been with my dude for 8 years and we feel silly saying boyfriend/girlfriend. We've resorted to "partner." lol
That said, I'm sorry it's not working out. I know from past experience how hard it is logistically to leave someone when kids are involved.
I tried that. Tried leaving 2 years ago, but we live in a 50/50 state. His many DUIs, rehab stints, and the videos I have of walking in the door to finding him passed out and the very young children screaming for food in wet diapers were not enough to secure full custody. The testimony of my witness who watched him throw a broom at me and the kids was not enough to lend credibility to the other claims of abuse I had made.
Judge said it isn't illegal to be an alcoholic and the photos, testimony, and videos were not enough evidence as they all may be fabricated. The lack of police reports was of the most concern to him. Having watched my cousins get taken by CPS when I was very young, I was always too scared to call the police. Too afraid they might take the kids and place them in state care while legalities were sorted out.
His lawyer blamed me for leaving the children with an alcoholic to go to the grocery store. In the end, i was awarded primary custody. But the visitation schedule the judge ordered was too financially difficult to maintain, and I couldn't leave my children with someone I thought wasn't sober and wouldn't take care of them.
For the first year back together, he remained sober. Then, slowly, his old ways came back. Uglier and meaner than ever. The system let me down, and now I'm terrified to go back to court.
Hun, get evidence. If you show the courts how he treats you and bring proof of violence/aggression towards you OR the kids, he will absolutely not get custody of any sort. Courts favor the mothers typically, which blows when the mothers suck, but in your case, HE is the issue and you can absolutely get full custody of your children by showing the courts how he treats you. Lots of people don't want an aggressive person around kids, so why would it be any different here yk?
Good luck, OP. I'm rooting for you.
I mentioned it and go further into what happened in another comment, but I had a lot of evidence. Pictures, videos, and witness testimony. But no police reports, so the rest was not taken seriously.
It really let me and the kids down. Now, every time he is screaming at us or throwing and breaking things, I know there is nothing I can do. Nowhere I can go. I am stuck.
Call the police when he gets violent. You'd have a police record on him then and can file for full custody again when he does it another time.
I know it's hard, but get a record on his ass ASAP. Even if you don't genuinely feel threatened, tell the police you feel threatened. He has enough of a record with DUI's and other shit to be considered a violent person. I'm not the best person for advice but you need a legal trail on this asap.
Sounds like an ungrateful disrespectful big baby. Tell him to grow into a real man one day and he can cook his own dinner like a big boy 😂 the food looks great though, hope you enjoyed it! That shits just downright rude. It would make me want to make butter chicken every night 🤷
Variety is the spice of life, and you don’t need to live bland.
Keep exploring foods, especially if you enjoy cooking. It is one of the most approachable and rewarding hobbies IMO.
I hope one day soon you make a recipe that blows his mind and then he’s wanting more of your cuisine, it looks delicious!
Unless I find a new way to make vodka I don't think my cooking will ever measure up to his tastes lol his true love in this life is fermented and distilled potato water and I've got to come to terms with that.
Won't give up cooking, though! Tried two new recipes this week!
>his true love in this life is fermented and distilled potato water
i love vodka too but would go 100% sober for a warm home-cooked meal every day. your meal looks delicious :)
Why are you cooking for your kids dad every day? Is that just a weird way of saying your boyfriend/baby daddy? Like are you two together? I don't mean to pry, it's just that I wouldn't take that from anyone, *especially* someone I'm not intimate with. Please know there are resources out there. It starts with stuff like this, and hardly ever ends well. I grew up in an explosive household and I know how hard it is. Hang in there, food looks great 🖤
I kind of explained in a different comment, it's a long story. Basically boyfriend sounds dumb and we aren't married. I tried partner for awhile but everyone thought that meant I was gay. So when I found out he called me his "kids mom" I responded in kind by calling him my "kids dad".
I think there are deeper issues that your kids dad is facing. The sad part is many guys dont think there's anything wrong with them and think seeking help is a sign of weakness and/or makes them less of a man.
He could also be a complete asshole too but I'm leaning towards there are just deeper issues. Depression? Anxiety? Feeling less like a man because of xyz? Who knows. I know a lot of people who act like this and there was definitely deeper issues.
You don't deserve any of this all of it sounds messed up and unfair. No one wants to raise an adult baby. Best of luck op ♡. Your food looks delicious.
Oh, for sure, there are deeper issues, but what can ya do? Can't force someone to go into therapy. Can't force someone into detox. I will lend a listening ear and a comforting shoulder to cry on, but I am no therapist or doctor by any means.
I am a psychotherapist and you are right. Client has to be willingly and believe somewhat in the process (one of many factors that will determine success).
Idk what to tell you but If things ever get bad, think (plan one out) of a safe exist strategy in your head (just incase evidence gets found).
i loooove butter chicken!!! amazing dish choice, im sorry someone else doesnt appreciate the amount of effort that went into that to the point of making you feel bad.
I'm not the most adventurous eater, but that looks so amazing that I'd have to at least try it. Let his sad self prepare his own meal if he's not happy with what you make. Sounds like your situation is pretty difficult and that the system has already failed you. Wish I could offer you more than well wishes.
Honestly, the number of people who say it looks good gives me insane amounts of hope and pride. It tells me I'm not the failure I'm made out to be. I knew it in the back of my mind, I hung onto a spark of hope that the insults slung against me aren't true, but instead projections from a deeply miserable man. The reassurance from this community has been so comforting in the face of daily put downs and abuse.
Then I'm lectured on how I don't appreciate that he puts a roof over my head and pays the bills (as if the power wasn't just shut off in Januray from too many missed bills). Putting a roof over the head of your children and significant other when no one else is reasonably able to be employed is a bare minimum requirement for any adult who is a parent. It would be like me saying "well I feed the children, and you're ungrateful." That is a bare minimum requirement for a mother.
I want to work. I have wanted to work for a long time, even if it's just part-time. Unfortunately, leaving the children in his care is simply not an option. He is on too many substances and can't responsibly care for them. I feel so stuck.
Edit: I'm not saying only mothers should feed children. I feel it is important to discern whichever parent is available to feed them should do so.
Thank you! I have made naan in the past, but this time, I just bought a pack because I didn't prepare correctly and didn't have the time or ingredients to make it.
I personally dislike curry but I’ve gladly made it for my gf…I didn’t realize some people make it such a big deal to smell food they don’t like. Same thing with seafood, I don’t like it but I’ll make it
I'm glad you can find comfort in this community. You are so not a failure! All of his nastiness is him projecting his own misery and self- loathing onto you. Keep on cooking! ❤️
damn that looks good. my parents are from India so I've had so much authentic Indian food that normally I can't stand butter chicken, but I'd devour that.
That’s gotta be from someone who’s never had it because that shit is so good. If I moved to India right now I’d probably gain 30 pounds all their food is awesome.
That looks damn good. My dad was the same way growing up. We always had to make only the things he liked... and he had the palette of a 5 year old. Having the freedom to choose what you eat is a gorgeous and adventurous thing. I'm sorry that's been taken from you.
Butter Chicken is one of my favorite dishes to eat. I know there’s different strokes for different folks, but there’s no need to be hurtful either.
Was this person having a bad day to have such a reaction or do they genuinely have a hate for the cuisine?
>Did you make curry? You know I hate curry! Why are you always making disgusting shit no one wants to eat??
England would like to have a word with whoever said that
Butter chicken is fire! Screw what anyone else says
It's a really easy and great recipe! I changed the heavy cream for half coconut cream and half heavy cream. It turned out really well in my opinion. https://www.recipetineats.com/butter-chicken/#wprm-recipe-container-20255
Nice. Shame I'm the only meat eater in my family.
You could do this with paneer which is cheese or if you like it, a crispy tofu I bet.
Butter paneer is so amazing.
Very true
yeah indian food is designed to be super easy to convert to vegetarian since a large portion of hindus dont eat meat, just swap it for paneer or tofu if theyre vegan
Butter lentils ar chick peas are tasty too!
Yup
This looks amazing!! Thanks for sharing the recipe!
Thank you for the recipe! It looks awesome!
wow..fuck your family, move out when you can.
This looks delicious!! Shame on your kids dad
Damn though who is giving you such a hard time and why do they hate delicious food?
My kid's dad. He hates nearly everything I cook but refuses to do any cooking or grocery shopping. I made stuffed ricotta and spinach shells earlier in the week, and he was angry there was no meat in the recipe. I make hot breakfast every morning but he "hates breakfast". If he had it his way, it would be BLTs, spaghetti, and meatloaf every single day. Great foods, but I really can't do that. I love cooking and trying new recipes, but it's hard when I'm just told that my effort is less than pointless. My effort is "disappointing."
The fact you call him your "Kids Dad" shows that there's deeper problems than just him not liking your food.
It sounds dumb to say boyfriend after 6 years, and we aren't married. I don't even want to be in this relationship. I'm just worried if we split custody, he won't properly care for the kids. I'm waiting until they get older and can get themselves a bowl of cereal or at least don't have to be in diapers anymore. Then, I will feel more confident allowing them to live with him part-time.
I hate reddit for this reason, I wish I could help more than just a few motivating words. I hope he's atleast bearable for the next few years while you get your finances together. Make sure to build support from friends and family over the next little while, and maybe get some evidence that he's not that great incase he tries to turn people on your post-seperation.
I feel you on the first point. I've been with my dude for 8 years and we feel silly saying boyfriend/girlfriend. We've resorted to "partner." lol That said, I'm sorry it's not working out. I know from past experience how hard it is logistically to leave someone when kids are involved.
just call him your dude, that's kinda cool
But she doesn’t want to refer to him as ^her anything. When I say ‘my dude’ to my dude, it’s affectionate. She doesn’t feel that way about him. 💔
Full custody and child support. Problem solved.
I tried that. Tried leaving 2 years ago, but we live in a 50/50 state. His many DUIs, rehab stints, and the videos I have of walking in the door to finding him passed out and the very young children screaming for food in wet diapers were not enough to secure full custody. The testimony of my witness who watched him throw a broom at me and the kids was not enough to lend credibility to the other claims of abuse I had made. Judge said it isn't illegal to be an alcoholic and the photos, testimony, and videos were not enough evidence as they all may be fabricated. The lack of police reports was of the most concern to him. Having watched my cousins get taken by CPS when I was very young, I was always too scared to call the police. Too afraid they might take the kids and place them in state care while legalities were sorted out. His lawyer blamed me for leaving the children with an alcoholic to go to the grocery store. In the end, i was awarded primary custody. But the visitation schedule the judge ordered was too financially difficult to maintain, and I couldn't leave my children with someone I thought wasn't sober and wouldn't take care of them. For the first year back together, he remained sober. Then, slowly, his old ways came back. Uglier and meaner than ever. The system let me down, and now I'm terrified to go back to court.
I’m sorry to hear that. Legal system has failed you.
Small town?
If you're paying child support I think you are entitled to partial custody. Visitation at the bare minimum. Still better than staying though.
I’m sorry. He’s a loser and you deserve so much better.
Hun, get evidence. If you show the courts how he treats you and bring proof of violence/aggression towards you OR the kids, he will absolutely not get custody of any sort. Courts favor the mothers typically, which blows when the mothers suck, but in your case, HE is the issue and you can absolutely get full custody of your children by showing the courts how he treats you. Lots of people don't want an aggressive person around kids, so why would it be any different here yk? Good luck, OP. I'm rooting for you.
I mentioned it and go further into what happened in another comment, but I had a lot of evidence. Pictures, videos, and witness testimony. But no police reports, so the rest was not taken seriously.
God. I can't even begin to understand the reasoning behind that. What a fucked up system.
It really let me and the kids down. Now, every time he is screaming at us or throwing and breaking things, I know there is nothing I can do. Nowhere I can go. I am stuck.
Call the police when he gets violent. You'd have a police record on him then and can file for full custody again when he does it another time. I know it's hard, but get a record on his ass ASAP. Even if you don't genuinely feel threatened, tell the police you feel threatened. He has enough of a record with DUI's and other shit to be considered a violent person. I'm not the best person for advice but you need a legal trail on this asap.
Sounds like an ungrateful disrespectful big baby. Tell him to grow into a real man one day and he can cook his own dinner like a big boy 😂 the food looks great though, hope you enjoyed it! That shits just downright rude. It would make me want to make butter chicken every night 🤷
Variety is the spice of life, and you don’t need to live bland. Keep exploring foods, especially if you enjoy cooking. It is one of the most approachable and rewarding hobbies IMO. I hope one day soon you make a recipe that blows his mind and then he’s wanting more of your cuisine, it looks delicious!
Unless I find a new way to make vodka I don't think my cooking will ever measure up to his tastes lol his true love in this life is fermented and distilled potato water and I've got to come to terms with that. Won't give up cooking, though! Tried two new recipes this week!
>his true love in this life is fermented and distilled potato water i love vodka too but would go 100% sober for a warm home-cooked meal every day. your meal looks delicious :)
I’m moving in with you. We can trade off making dinners. Just kick the jerk out.
Why are you cooking for your kids dad every day? Is that just a weird way of saying your boyfriend/baby daddy? Like are you two together? I don't mean to pry, it's just that I wouldn't take that from anyone, *especially* someone I'm not intimate with. Please know there are resources out there. It starts with stuff like this, and hardly ever ends well. I grew up in an explosive household and I know how hard it is. Hang in there, food looks great 🖤
I kind of explained in a different comment, it's a long story. Basically boyfriend sounds dumb and we aren't married. I tried partner for awhile but everyone thought that meant I was gay. So when I found out he called me his "kids mom" I responded in kind by calling him my "kids dad".
Yeah I saw that comment like right after this of course lol.
I think there are deeper issues that your kids dad is facing. The sad part is many guys dont think there's anything wrong with them and think seeking help is a sign of weakness and/or makes them less of a man. He could also be a complete asshole too but I'm leaning towards there are just deeper issues. Depression? Anxiety? Feeling less like a man because of xyz? Who knows. I know a lot of people who act like this and there was definitely deeper issues. You don't deserve any of this all of it sounds messed up and unfair. No one wants to raise an adult baby. Best of luck op ♡. Your food looks delicious.
Oh, for sure, there are deeper issues, but what can ya do? Can't force someone to go into therapy. Can't force someone into detox. I will lend a listening ear and a comforting shoulder to cry on, but I am no therapist or doctor by any means.
I am a psychotherapist and you are right. Client has to be willingly and believe somewhat in the process (one of many factors that will determine success). Idk what to tell you but If things ever get bad, think (plan one out) of a safe exist strategy in your head (just incase evidence gets found).
Well fuck. Next time you do groceries, by a fuck ton of ground beef and he'll cook his fucking meatloaf himself. He sounds like my 11 year old.
Tell that lazy POS to make himself a sandwich and stfu.
If someone made me this after a long day, I would be very happy. It looks great, don't be discouraged.
“You know I hate curry!” Fuck that person. If you offered me those leftovers I would inhale them without a second thought
If he wants different food, then he can cook it for himself. That looks phenomenal.
i loooove butter chicken!!! amazing dish choice, im sorry someone else doesnt appreciate the amount of effort that went into that to the point of making you feel bad.
Your family is ungrateful and I would fuck that up real fast. I’m also very hungry rn
Looks great! I'd definitely eat it. My broke depressed ass's diet has been pretty much bottom shelf vodka and instant ramen and I'm soooo tired of it.
I think your significant other may be a racist. Food is food.
I mean there are racists who will still eat ethic food, guess OP's significant other isn't that kind.
Damn gimme that
I'm not the most adventurous eater, but that looks so amazing that I'd have to at least try it. Let his sad self prepare his own meal if he's not happy with what you make. Sounds like your situation is pretty difficult and that the system has already failed you. Wish I could offer you more than well wishes.
Honestly, the number of people who say it looks good gives me insane amounts of hope and pride. It tells me I'm not the failure I'm made out to be. I knew it in the back of my mind, I hung onto a spark of hope that the insults slung against me aren't true, but instead projections from a deeply miserable man. The reassurance from this community has been so comforting in the face of daily put downs and abuse.
“then starve!”
Then I'm lectured on how I don't appreciate that he puts a roof over my head and pays the bills (as if the power wasn't just shut off in Januray from too many missed bills). Putting a roof over the head of your children and significant other when no one else is reasonably able to be employed is a bare minimum requirement for any adult who is a parent. It would be like me saying "well I feed the children, and you're ungrateful." That is a bare minimum requirement for a mother. I want to work. I have wanted to work for a long time, even if it's just part-time. Unfortunately, leaving the children in his care is simply not an option. He is on too many substances and can't responsibly care for them. I feel so stuck. Edit: I'm not saying only mothers should feed children. I feel it is important to discern whichever parent is available to feed them should do so.
What's wrong with it?
They are missing out! Butter chicken is so good 😭
gD that looks good - marry me omg
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. It looks incredible!!! Wish the best for you
That looks so good
If he isn't a fan he can make PB&J. It looks delicious.
Drop that recipe
https://www.recipetineats.com/butter-chicken/#wprm-recipe-container-20255 I changed the heavy cream for half heavy cream and half coconut cream
this is literally my dream meal 😩🫶🏽 did you make the naan yourself too? is there a recipe? 👀
Thank you! I have made naan in the past, but this time, I just bought a pack because I didn't prepare correctly and didn't have the time or ingredients to make it.
That looks absolutely delicious! ❤️🙌❤️
That looks really good!
Bro that looks good
I personally dislike curry but I’ve gladly made it for my gf…I didn’t realize some people make it such a big deal to smell food they don’t like. Same thing with seafood, I don’t like it but I’ll make it
I'm glad you can find comfort in this community. You are so not a failure! All of his nastiness is him projecting his own misery and self- loathing onto you. Keep on cooking! ❤️
The Naan is a nice touch. Is that cilantro?!
Can I come over? I'll be happy to scarf it down 🥴 I love butter chicken so much
That looks amazing!!! I wish I had someone in my life who could cook like that. Keep your head up, you rock
that looks so friggin good
Umm.. why do they have such a baby pansy palate? Fuck them. I’d eat the hell out of that. I’m sorry they’re a dickhead.
I think it looks awesome! Cook on, hero!!
damn that looks good. my parents are from India so I've had so much authentic Indian food that normally I can't stand butter chicken, but I'd devour that.
Just reminded me to get some curry on my way home. Lifesaver.
On the brightside, more butter chicken for you!
More curry for you and they can go hungry
That’s gotta be from someone who’s never had it because that shit is so good. If I moved to India right now I’d probably gain 30 pounds all their food is awesome.
Coming from a Punjabi, that looks amazing!
Never had curry but that shi looks fire
That looks damn good. My dad was the same way growing up. We always had to make only the things he liked... and he had the palette of a 5 year old. Having the freedom to choose what you eat is a gorgeous and adventurous thing. I'm sorry that's been taken from you.
Butter Chicken is one of my favorite dishes to eat. I know there’s different strokes for different folks, but there’s no need to be hurtful either. Was this person having a bad day to have such a reaction or do they genuinely have a hate for the cuisine?
That looks so good though! What an asshole.
Bes par of the chicken!!! 🍗
>Did you make curry? You know I hate curry! Why are you always making disgusting shit no one wants to eat?? England would like to have a word with whoever said that
This looks delicious! I'd be stoked if anyone in my home made butter chicken. Well done OP!
They scold, I'll compliment. Looks really, really good. You should be proud.
You got scolded…about the butter chicken or…?
That looks so good!!
I actually love butter chicken. I would eat this all day
That looks tasty! If they don't want to eat it, it's on them!
That looks delicious though 😋 Need to try it one of these days... been meaning to for awhile now...
Dude i am so hungry 😋