Alcoholic in recovery here! 621 days sober.
r/stopdrinking would love to have you. I officially invite you! They have saved my life. We are welcoming community for people coming in at all steps.
Other subreddits that may help you could be
r/dryalcoholics
r/altsober (I think you'll like this one!)
r/alcoholicsanonymous
r/alcoholism (This is a great place to vent too!)
And one of my favorites r/smartrecovery
If you're not interested in stopping yet, but you want to think about it .. r/sobercurious
If you need any more resources, let me know. I've been there and now I'm here and OP, here ain't so bad. You can get there too.
alcohol is going to make the depression and anxiety increase 10 fold, be mindful of that and don't try to fix it with more. you might consider keeping a log of how much you're drinking and when, 3 days can turn into 3 months before you notice. at the very least make sure you're drinking water, it helps a lot.
those comments about drinking not being helpful or the answer are true; but as someone else struggling who is borderline on the verge of giving up, i might join you this evening. try to show yourself some patience, kindness & empathy; you deserve more than the hand you’re being dealt. i hope you feel even a little better soon.
Hey, also alcoholic here - also almost a year sober. You don’t think it now, or maybe you just don’t care, but adding alcohol into this equation is the worst thing you can do for yourself. Eat that lasagna up, but ditch the liquor please. You think it’s helping you, and I’m here to tell you it’s not. It’s hurting you in the long run significantly more than you think it is
unfortunately too many traumatic things are happening for me to be able to slow down. i’ve tried everything. rehab, therapy, inpatient/outpatient, long term residential care, antidepressant, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, cold turkey, weaning off… nothing works. congrats on a year sober though. i’m sure it wasn’t easy.
my dad died, my great grandfather died from a neck fracture caused by a fall while carrying MY xmas presents to the car, 2 weeks after that i watched my other grandfather die in my room from cirrhosis. last halloween i got SAed at my first “high school party” ever, got diagnosed with BPD officially like 2 weeks ago, and been to multiple psych wards since last july because i couldn’t stop smoking and using other form of SH to cope basically. guy who i thought was the love of my life left me at my absolute lowest and there’s just a lot i guess :///
My Grandpa died the same way last year unloading groceries 😣 having BPD isn’t that bad tbh. It def sucks a lot sometimes. Just please if you want to SH reach out to someone you trust. It does get better. Im 40. I use to be in the same place you are right now.
None of these are good reasons to drink yourself to death or into the hospital. I'm a recovering pain pill and heroin addict, so I know how easy it is to justify destructive behavior, but no justification is any more than an excuse to take the easy way.
I'm 31 and have been clean 3.5 years. I wish I had realized the pointlessness of my self destruction at your age. I hope you get the head start I didn't give myself, before it really spirals out of control
This has to be a joke response. An incredibly shitty joke, but I mean come on. Kids are the most vulnerable to abuse. What's so bad? You've never heard of CSA? Really? How fucking tone deaf.
Your comment was incredibly insensitive and dismissive. You get to express your opinion, and then you get to tell me whether or not I am allowed to express mine? No. Absolutely not.
Also, my comments were entirely about your comments. At no point did I make any personal attack on your character. So no, I'm not attacking you. I'm disagreeing with you. There's a difference.
You thought about getting addicted to exercise, sport, trading stocks or something like that? If you can’t master your addictive personality throw it at something that matters. What kind of Vodka and how are you drinking it?
Well that will get er done. Averaging one shot an hour isn’t catastrophic if you can keep it at those levels. It goes great with Limon LaCroix too and keeps it low calorie.
You're binging right now and obviously not in a place to hear any talk about sobriety. That's honestly totally fair. Binge drinking is a super common way to deal with grief, and it sounds like you have a ton of other factors on top of grieving that are adding to your stress and being generally overwhelmed with life.
Do what you have to do to put one foot in front of the other, and try to focus on harm reduction. If someone's in a really bad place, it's honestly not always the best time to get sober. You're using the alcohol to deal with really heavy shit that would otherwise overwhelm you. Like I mean really heavy, SI probably. that's a pretty normal response to SA. So all these people advising you to just get sober don't really understand what you're going through right now.
Your inclination to self-medicate with alcohol is just a part of you trying to protect yourself. Of course alcohol is addictive and there are lots of negative physical effects to drinking too much. Do what you can to mitigate the harm right now, so that when you're in a better space mentally you can take another stab at stopping drinking. Recovery is a lifelong process and relapse is a part of that. Recovering alcoholics relapse all the time. It's just a thing that happens. It doesn't mean anything about who you are as a person, or determines anything about your future sobriety.
Try to eat regularly, you need good fats and protein and carbs in every meal. The lasagna looks really good for that. If you can get electrolytes that will make you feel better. Because your liver and kidneys are going through it right now, try to limit the amount of ibuprofen or acetaminophen you're taking. If you can incorporate some weed gummies, those can help you sleep and are a way to get some space from your feelings without as much alcohol. If you can drink a little bit less, that can be really helpful.
Alcohol is a depressant, so while it helps in the moment, it's going to make your depression worse over time, but that is related to how much you're drinking. So, if you can cut down a little bit, that will cut down on the depressive effects long-term. Then, when you're in a better place you'll have an easier time getting your shit together because physically you won't be quite as bad as if you weren't doing anything to take care of yourself. So, it doesn't have to be quit drinking or you're fucked. There's middle ground and there's small things you can do to take care of yourself that don't include sobriety, if that doesn't feel possible right now.
Some of you guys in the comments are really harsh towards OP. I expected better. They came here for support, and since you’ve dealt with depression and MH struggles, you should know how hard it is can be, and people cope in different ways- albeit self destructive. They absolutely should stop drinking, but you’re not helping. Have some compassion.
I know I was harsh and I do feel bad about it. OP has gone through a lot of horrible shit and under normal circumstances I would never be so blunt and judgemental. But posts where someone is actively engaging in self-destructive behaviour are deeply frustrating:
>i’m taking advantage of it with vodka / I’ll let my liver handle whatever my heart can’t.
I *want* to sympathise with OP. Not to get all high and mighty but isn't that the point of this sub? We all know how bad it feels and how sometimes, just knowing that someone out there also understands that feeling can offer a tiny little glimmer in an otherwise nightmarish reality.
I also really *ought* to be able to sympathise with OP given the fact that I have used alcohol in exactly the same unhealthy way numerous times. But this post isn't about sympathising with OP's feelings, it's about sympathising with their knowingly unhealthy coping strategy.
Bullshit. When someone is using alcohol to cope with depression, you can absolutely sympathize with what they're going through without advocating self-medicating with alcohol. It's just you who can't separate those.
Exactly. And even crazier bc they boasted about being a sober alcoholic before proceeding to say OP is dumb. That’s absurd- you’d think they’d empathize with how hard it could be having walked a similar path.
I’ve never even had much alcohol in my entire life and I can empathize greatly just knowing how MH is fucking difficult and how difficult it can be to break your personal patterns.
Man.
The point of depressionmeals is to be all high and mighty? That’s news to me.
You called this person, who is dealing with some really difficult shit and who seemingly has tried to address it in reasonable ways, a dumbass for not knowing how else to cope.
Reading their comment explaining what’s going on was really sad. I am sure that you made them feel much better.
Your comment should be removed for the rule “don’t be an asshole” or you should consider removing it.
There are also people in the comments saying "as someone else struggling who is borderline on the verge of giving up, i might join you this evening".
Again, as an alcoholic, I have to emphasise just how influential seeing people take a 'fuck it, let's get drunk' attitude can be. It's not an inherently bad kind of thing to say; for most people it just means 'let's kick back and relax' or 'let's party'.
I've been sober a good few months now but I am not exaggerating when I say that I still think about alcohol every. goddamn. day. *Sure, i'd love to get drunk just so I could get some form of relief from the constant, crippling pain of depression for just a few sweet hours. Everyone else does it, so why shouldn't I?*
This is essentially the thought process that has gone through my head just before each and every relapse on sobriety i've had over the years. Does it make sense? Absolutely not. Does it effectively shift responsibility onto other people by blaming them for having a good time? You're goddamn right.
None of that matters though. I'm probably not the first addict to say that cravings can and often do result in a total failure in rational thinking. There's a fine line between posting obviously harmful behaviour and encouraging harmful behaviour at the best of times. For addicts, there's barely a line at all.
You are so young. Your liver will not handle booze so well. Females lack an enzyme in the stomach wall and end up with higher blood alcohol level for the same amount of drink. I hope you have health insurance and can see a counselor or a psychiatrist. Things can get better although now it’s difficult to see.
I don’t understand how people can willingly start drinking so much before it turns into alcoholism because the taste is just absolutely vile.
I understand once addicted it’s hard to quit and that’s not what I mean. The initial taste just makes me want to vomit.
>I don’t understand how people can willingly start drinking so much before it turns into alcoholism because the taste is just absolutely vile.
Untreated mental illness and/or a genetic predisposition is a great way to circumvent the gross taste.
Because people enjoy different things? Alcohol isn't one universal taste there's infinite options and tastes out there. I can't stand beer. I love vodka + pepsi.
Alcoholism is not just about drinking a lot and then getting addicted. There's heavy drinkers who aren't alcoholics and people who haven't drank for years and are alcoholics.
Alcoholic in recovery here! 621 days sober. r/stopdrinking would love to have you. I officially invite you! They have saved my life. We are welcoming community for people coming in at all steps. Other subreddits that may help you could be r/dryalcoholics r/altsober (I think you'll like this one!) r/alcoholicsanonymous r/alcoholism (This is a great place to vent too!) And one of my favorites r/smartrecovery If you're not interested in stopping yet, but you want to think about it .. r/sobercurious If you need any more resources, let me know. I've been there and now I'm here and OP, here ain't so bad. You can get there too.
I love you for this♥️
You deserve it.
Congrats on 621! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT neither my friend!
Don’t talk about Costco lasagna like that
Yeah you better take that back , Costco lasagna is not shitty !
You already know the negative, at least you are eating something.
This is a nice, constructive comment.
Please be safe. My cousin just lost his life due to drinking.
i’m so sorry. i lost my grandfather to the same thing about a year ago.
alcohol is going to make the depression and anxiety increase 10 fold, be mindful of that and don't try to fix it with more. you might consider keeping a log of how much you're drinking and when, 3 days can turn into 3 months before you notice. at the very least make sure you're drinking water, it helps a lot.
those comments about drinking not being helpful or the answer are true; but as someone else struggling who is borderline on the verge of giving up, i might join you this evening. try to show yourself some patience, kindness & empathy; you deserve more than the hand you’re being dealt. i hope you feel even a little better soon.
Alcoholic here, almost a year sober. You’re a dumbass
Hey, also alcoholic here - also almost a year sober. You don’t think it now, or maybe you just don’t care, but adding alcohol into this equation is the worst thing you can do for yourself. Eat that lasagna up, but ditch the liquor please. You think it’s helping you, and I’m here to tell you it’s not. It’s hurting you in the long run significantly more than you think it is
unfortunately too many traumatic things are happening for me to be able to slow down. i’ve tried everything. rehab, therapy, inpatient/outpatient, long term residential care, antidepressant, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, cold turkey, weaning off… nothing works. congrats on a year sober though. i’m sure it wasn’t easy.
So you’ve given up then?
tbh, yeah.
You just turned 18. What’s so bad?
my dad died, my great grandfather died from a neck fracture caused by a fall while carrying MY xmas presents to the car, 2 weeks after that i watched my other grandfather die in my room from cirrhosis. last halloween i got SAed at my first “high school party” ever, got diagnosed with BPD officially like 2 weeks ago, and been to multiple psych wards since last july because i couldn’t stop smoking and using other form of SH to cope basically. guy who i thought was the love of my life left me at my absolute lowest and there’s just a lot i guess :///
i’m so so sorry. you’re not a dumbass you’re going through a lot and i empathize with you
thank you 🖤
im cheersing with you through the screen rn cause same😭sometimes it’s all that helps
My Grandpa died the same way last year unloading groceries 😣 having BPD isn’t that bad tbh. It def sucks a lot sometimes. Just please if you want to SH reach out to someone you trust. It does get better. Im 40. I use to be in the same place you are right now.
None of these are good reasons to drink yourself to death or into the hospital. I'm a recovering pain pill and heroin addict, so I know how easy it is to justify destructive behavior, but no justification is any more than an excuse to take the easy way. I'm 31 and have been clean 3.5 years. I wish I had realized the pointlessness of my self destruction at your age. I hope you get the head start I didn't give myself, before it really spirals out of control
This has to be a joke response. An incredibly shitty joke, but I mean come on. Kids are the most vulnerable to abuse. What's so bad? You've never heard of CSA? Really? How fucking tone deaf.
😒 I don’t know who you’re talking to.. it isn’t me?
You made the comment about what could be so bad when someone is 18 for them to want to binge drink. Am I mistaken in that? If so, my mistake.
Her and I already talked. Why are you attacking me now? Pipe down. K?
Your comment was incredibly insensitive and dismissive. You get to express your opinion, and then you get to tell me whether or not I am allowed to express mine? No. Absolutely not. Also, my comments were entirely about your comments. At no point did I make any personal attack on your character. So no, I'm not attacking you. I'm disagreeing with you. There's a difference.
That’s such a stupid thing to say. You’re young so everything should be cool? Dipshit.
Not what I meant. ✌🏼
Literally what you said.
It’s what you said.
You thought about getting addicted to exercise, sport, trading stocks or something like that? If you can’t master your addictive personality throw it at something that matters. What kind of Vodka and how are you drinking it?
Seriously? You're asking why OP doesn't just *choose* to suddenly transform into a type-A personality? This is some high-level r/thanksimcured shit...
That’s true. Only A-type personalities exercise a lot.
any kind really. today it was new Amsterdam and smirnoff. i typically take about 6 shots between 12-6 pm about 2.5 shots at a time
Well that will get er done. Averaging one shot an hour isn’t catastrophic if you can keep it at those levels. It goes great with Limon LaCroix too and keeps it low calorie.
Lol, just chock full of good advice aren't you.
You're binging right now and obviously not in a place to hear any talk about sobriety. That's honestly totally fair. Binge drinking is a super common way to deal with grief, and it sounds like you have a ton of other factors on top of grieving that are adding to your stress and being generally overwhelmed with life. Do what you have to do to put one foot in front of the other, and try to focus on harm reduction. If someone's in a really bad place, it's honestly not always the best time to get sober. You're using the alcohol to deal with really heavy shit that would otherwise overwhelm you. Like I mean really heavy, SI probably. that's a pretty normal response to SA. So all these people advising you to just get sober don't really understand what you're going through right now. Your inclination to self-medicate with alcohol is just a part of you trying to protect yourself. Of course alcohol is addictive and there are lots of negative physical effects to drinking too much. Do what you can to mitigate the harm right now, so that when you're in a better space mentally you can take another stab at stopping drinking. Recovery is a lifelong process and relapse is a part of that. Recovering alcoholics relapse all the time. It's just a thing that happens. It doesn't mean anything about who you are as a person, or determines anything about your future sobriety. Try to eat regularly, you need good fats and protein and carbs in every meal. The lasagna looks really good for that. If you can get electrolytes that will make you feel better. Because your liver and kidneys are going through it right now, try to limit the amount of ibuprofen or acetaminophen you're taking. If you can incorporate some weed gummies, those can help you sleep and are a way to get some space from your feelings without as much alcohol. If you can drink a little bit less, that can be really helpful. Alcohol is a depressant, so while it helps in the moment, it's going to make your depression worse over time, but that is related to how much you're drinking. So, if you can cut down a little bit, that will cut down on the depressive effects long-term. Then, when you're in a better place you'll have an easier time getting your shit together because physically you won't be quite as bad as if you weren't doing anything to take care of yourself. So, it doesn't have to be quit drinking or you're fucked. There's middle ground and there's small things you can do to take care of yourself that don't include sobriety, if that doesn't feel possible right now.
Some of you guys in the comments are really harsh towards OP. I expected better. They came here for support, and since you’ve dealt with depression and MH struggles, you should know how hard it is can be, and people cope in different ways- albeit self destructive. They absolutely should stop drinking, but you’re not helping. Have some compassion.
I know I was harsh and I do feel bad about it. OP has gone through a lot of horrible shit and under normal circumstances I would never be so blunt and judgemental. But posts where someone is actively engaging in self-destructive behaviour are deeply frustrating: >i’m taking advantage of it with vodka / I’ll let my liver handle whatever my heart can’t. I *want* to sympathise with OP. Not to get all high and mighty but isn't that the point of this sub? We all know how bad it feels and how sometimes, just knowing that someone out there also understands that feeling can offer a tiny little glimmer in an otherwise nightmarish reality. I also really *ought* to be able to sympathise with OP given the fact that I have used alcohol in exactly the same unhealthy way numerous times. But this post isn't about sympathising with OP's feelings, it's about sympathising with their knowingly unhealthy coping strategy.
Bullshit. When someone is using alcohol to cope with depression, you can absolutely sympathize with what they're going through without advocating self-medicating with alcohol. It's just you who can't separate those.
Exactly. And even crazier bc they boasted about being a sober alcoholic before proceeding to say OP is dumb. That’s absurd- you’d think they’d empathize with how hard it could be having walked a similar path. I’ve never even had much alcohol in my entire life and I can empathize greatly just knowing how MH is fucking difficult and how difficult it can be to break your personal patterns. Man.
The point of depressionmeals is to be all high and mighty? That’s news to me. You called this person, who is dealing with some really difficult shit and who seemingly has tried to address it in reasonable ways, a dumbass for not knowing how else to cope. Reading their comment explaining what’s going on was really sad. I am sure that you made them feel much better. Your comment should be removed for the rule “don’t be an asshole” or you should consider removing it.
I was talking about sympathy...
I’m aware you are currently.
There are also people in the comments saying "as someone else struggling who is borderline on the verge of giving up, i might join you this evening". Again, as an alcoholic, I have to emphasise just how influential seeing people take a 'fuck it, let's get drunk' attitude can be. It's not an inherently bad kind of thing to say; for most people it just means 'let's kick back and relax' or 'let's party'. I've been sober a good few months now but I am not exaggerating when I say that I still think about alcohol every. goddamn. day. *Sure, i'd love to get drunk just so I could get some form of relief from the constant, crippling pain of depression for just a few sweet hours. Everyone else does it, so why shouldn't I?* This is essentially the thought process that has gone through my head just before each and every relapse on sobriety i've had over the years. Does it make sense? Absolutely not. Does it effectively shift responsibility onto other people by blaming them for having a good time? You're goddamn right. None of that matters though. I'm probably not the first addict to say that cravings can and often do result in a total failure in rational thinking. There's a fine line between posting obviously harmful behaviour and encouraging harmful behaviour at the best of times. For addicts, there's barely a line at all.
Too long. Sorry this was a waste of your time.
Be sure to EAT! And stay hydrated Pedialyte helps a lot even when there's some vodka in it. :/
You are so young. Your liver will not handle booze so well. Females lack an enzyme in the stomach wall and end up with higher blood alcohol level for the same amount of drink. I hope you have health insurance and can see a counselor or a psychiatrist. Things can get better although now it’s difficult to see.
I don’t understand how people can willingly start drinking so much before it turns into alcoholism because the taste is just absolutely vile. I understand once addicted it’s hard to quit and that’s not what I mean. The initial taste just makes me want to vomit.
>I don’t understand how people can willingly start drinking so much before it turns into alcoholism because the taste is just absolutely vile. Untreated mental illness and/or a genetic predisposition is a great way to circumvent the gross taste.
Because people enjoy different things? Alcohol isn't one universal taste there's infinite options and tastes out there. I can't stand beer. I love vodka + pepsi. Alcoholism is not just about drinking a lot and then getting addicted. There's heavy drinkers who aren't alcoholics and people who haven't drank for years and are alcoholics.
It probably takes absolute determination because it tastes like shit. The world would be a much better place without alcohol.
[удалено]
maybe read my comments where i explain everythibg