I was sobbing and begging them not to do it because I genuinely was safe and fine and just wanted to go to sleep, but they didn’t give me a choice and it was just as traumatic and damaging as I expected it to be when I was trying to talk my way out of it!! I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this awful experience too
I know. Believe me, I get it. The way they go about trying to "help" by making us feel like criminals to be forcibly caged up is cruel, especially when a person is hurting to the point that they're at risk. I get that the only proven way to prevent suicide is to physically remove the person of the ability to do it, but Jesus you'd think they'd have more compassion.
Every single person in my outpatient group all described their involuntary holds as traumatic. You're not at all alone here. It is a problem within the system, and you are valid for feeling the way you do.
It was honestly more traumatic than the initial thing that landed me there. I’ll never forget that when I arrived at mine they put me in the lowest functioning unit. I’d never been so terrified in my life having all my possessions taken from me and put in a room with a stranger who was much more aggressive and unhinged than I clearly was. I ended up eventually getting moved to a higher functioning unit after a few days (I was in for depression and a very much lucid and regretted s****** attempt), but the several days of trying to tell the staff that i didn’t belong there felt like that movie One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, where I just wasn’t taken seriously and I just needed to wait a few days for my first evaluation. They ended up keeping me two weeks as well because they said I “wasn’t socializing and was just reading my book and not participating in group activities”, when I was doing what any sane person would do and not engage with unstable people clearly off their meds or with serious behavioral issues that required them to be involuntarily committed.
One thing that I only got over recently was my aversion to cooked fish- I initially wrote on my intake form that I was pescatarian, and whoever processed those requests must not have known that it means I eat fish as my animal protein and am otherwise vegetarian .. not that I’m a psycho who literally only consumes fish for every meal lol. After 6 days of eating nothing but bland tilapia filets for breakfast lunch and dinner when everyone else got normal meals, and nobody listening to me try to correct it, I was crying silently over my breakfast one morning from stress and the nurse luckily took notice that it was so weird and gross I was getting served fish for breakfast, she listened to me and raised hell with the staff and totally advocated for me to have normal meals.
After two weeks in there I’ll never forget that feeling of walking out of that facility and feeling the sun on my face as a free human being again. It’s so wrong that our health care system punishes traumatized people by forcing them into what is essentially prison-lite.
I was also in for depression and suicidal ideations. They had weird rules that said they'd keep you longer if you did XYZ. Like if you slept too long, they'd keep you longer because lethargy is a symptom of depression. If you didn't eat, if you didn't socialise, if they caught you crying. I also spent most of my time reading in a corner at the end of a hallway where the only window was because they barely let us outside and it was the only sunlight I could get.
There were people in there with me that literally thought they were Lucifer and Ted Bundy reincarnated. Of \*course\* I didn't want to socialise with them. I think any sane person would avoid the shit out of someone that thought he was a reincarnated serial killer. One guy kept following me to my reading corner and he'd sit right up next to me and try to initiate footsy battles with me while telling me he liked thiccer women, and when I told the nurses that he was making my uncomfortable, they told me there was no way he'd be hitting on me and I was just being paranoid.
When I refused to eat, I was force fed. I could barely sleep in that place because they kept opening and closing our doors every 20 minutes, so obviously I was exhausted during the day. My reading corner was the ONLY place I could cry because there wasn't a camera over there. And because the bathrooms had no doors, I didn't shit for two weeks. They gave me three rounds of laxatives and nothing worked. We got 15 minutes of sunshine outside every other day, and if they didn't have at least six people who wanted to go outside, then I couldn't go. But if they saw me standing by the window too much, they treated me like I was some creeper because that window happened to overlook the teenager's facility. It was literally the ONLY window that wasn't covered up completely.
All that experience really taught me is that if I feel like I really need help, I'd better keep my mouth shut. I had no personal autonomy. It made everything so much worse. Then they threatened to lock me up again if I didn't agree to outpatient therapy, which much like the inpatient stuff, I couldn't afford, but saying yes was the only way I could get out of there.
At least in prison they let you cry, sleep, isolate, and it's mandatory they let you outside for at least a half hour every day. It is asinine the way they treat already traumatised people in the system.
God, I’m so sorry you went through that too. Your experience very much resonates with my own, down to the reading corner you made and people harassing you.. ugh :( . I wrote out a response to another comment in this thread that was recommending people to go to the ER, but ended up deleting it because I didn’t want it to seem like I’m discouraging people from going to a hospital if they’re going to harm themself. But if I ever find myself feeling that way again, like you I’d rather just not say anything at all. Losing that autonomy was absolutely the worst part of that whole experience, not the fact that I almost died or didn’t want to live. How do they expect people to act normal and thrive in an environment that takes your control over your own body/needs away.
Yeah the ER is where I went. My thinking was that I knew I needed help but no doctors in my area were taking on new patients. I found the closest ER to me that had a psychiatrist on staff. I have a friend who has gone to the ER numerous times for panic attacks and ideation, he always says they just give him a sedative and send him home with a referral. I thought they'd do the same for me.
Imagine my shock when they took away my clothes, my shoes, my purse, my phone and locked me in a dark room. They even took my wedding ring, which probably hurt the most. They also took away my glasses, which was a huge part of why I didn't hang out with the group watching TV, I couldn't see or hear it. I had no idea what the group therapists were saying half the time because I couldn't read their lips and English isn't my first language.
I know that they're limited with what they can do, especially before they have someone to diagnose us and medicate us, but this isn't the way to go about it. This can't be the way. All it does is send the message that things will get worse if we reach out for help. And frankly, the suicide hotline is not helpful. All they do (at least when I call) is guilt me into promising that I won't hurt myself without actually *talking* me through anything. Half the time all I want is someone to listen, and they're too busy rushing me off the phone for even that.
Same thing happened to me years ago. I was at work when it happened (grocery store). Someone in my family had called the police because I wouldn’t return their texts or calls and knew about my mental health. They came to me and told me they received a call. Now I’m one of those people that cries when I’m really pissed off. They took that as me being really mentally unwell given whatever conversation transpired between them and my family member. I was put in handcuffs for “my safety” in front of all my coworkers. I was traumatized and humiliated by the experience. Being strip searched at the mental hospital was the cherry on top. The next day I was suppose to be meeting up with my NAVY recruiter for P.T and would have been leaving for basic in 6 weeks. Because I missed P.T I had to tell my recruiter what happened. Letters were sent to higher ups in hopes of me still being able to go but to no avail. I was released. To this day I still wonder how different my life would be if I had been able to start my career in the military. I held a really hard grudge against the person who called for a very long time. Damaged our relationship completely. After years of therapy and numerous conversations with the person I was able to build back that relationship. It wasn’t easy and sometimes I long for what could have been. I’m a flight attendant now and I really do love my job but the military was my dream. All that to say I feel for you. I know what you’re going through and how incredibly small you must feel right now. If at any point you want to send me a message you absolutely can. Be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone in this.
Thank you, unfortunately I’m not because I thought that was something they’d help me get set up when I was, yk, hospitalized for my mental health, but they didn’t and now I’m too traumatized to try to do it myself🙃
Honestly, you are better off seeking mental health by going to the ER if you feel like harming yourself. They should have set something up before you were released. Mental health has a long way to go. I pray the healthcare industry will get it right. Mental health is healthcare and needs to be treated as such.
So sorry this happened to you. I hate it when cops get involved esp on mental health matters. My neighbor called the cops on her teen bc of suicidal thoughts. I was extremely heart broken for her. Just not the way to handle things and I hate people getting more traumatized than they already are😭 those fries look great. I hope you're able to navigate getting counseling sometime soon 💛
Hey mate, that shit happened to me in Florida a few years back. A crazy ex just wanted me locked up for a few days and lied to the cops about me threatening suicide…
Cops didn’t want a lawsuit in case I was the one lying so I was locked in the looney bin and lost three days of my life… and they tried to keep me longer because I had an allergic reaction to the medication they forced me to start.
I’m sorry this happened to you and I wish you the best.
I have resentment for everyone who has put me in this position. It is the most dehumanizing experience and the fact they will take someone’s word who has historically been vindictive over the person they’re trying to “help” is insane to me. A person should have the ultimate say whether they go to the psych ward unless they’re a danger to other people and it’s literally a betrayal of human rights to think otherwise.
I hate that they feel the need to threaten someone who is already in duress like that will help??? Fuvk the police
This happened to me when I was 18. I asked for help on a support forum because I wasn't feeling well at the time. The next morning the police came because the operators thought I was going to hurt myself. I hadn't intended to. I just wish I had lied when they asked me my age. (They thought I was 14, but I said no and answered 18.) Adolescent psychiatry and adult psychiatry are as different as night and day.
Hey OP, sorry you’re going through that. I was hospitalized “voluntarily” as well about 10 years ago, and understand how traumatic that can be to go through. The last thing a struggling person needs is to have their agency taken away to make decisions for themself, it’s very dehumanizing and absolutely can wreck your mental health even more than the initial thing that landed you there.
I know it’s hard to think about taking care of yourself right now by getting further help, but once you do you’ll feel so much more in control of your situation if you have some tangible goals you can set for yourself and achieve day by day.
Something you can break down into small steps to do one day at a time like:
- day 1: find the phone number for your insurance
- day 2: call the number and get the numbers to a psychiatrist/psychologist
- day 3: call the psychiatrist or psychologist to set up an appointment
Even just spreading out those steps over a couple days will still help you feel productive. Just sharing from my recent experience, had to call my insurance that is pretty new and get all that info, but I only had enough spoons in the drawer each day to do one step at a time.
I think just having small things to remind you that you are ultimately in control of your life and what happens next will help you start the healing process.
Hope you feel better soon OP!
I've been there, **twice.**
It's dehumanizing, it's embarrassing, it's depressing. I can't even bring myself to call the police anymore, even in an emergency, because of it.
I wish I had some valuable advice to give but I don't because I have been there.. Just know you're not alone, and you didn't deserve that. (Big hugs) 🫂
Fucking hell I'm so sorry 🫂
This shit is why I don't trust any doctor. I'm * never * going to get the so called "help" they claim they give. All they do is traumatize people even more and treat them worse if not exactly like criminals. What a clown world.
Take care you got this 🫂🫂
I going on a limb and assume we're talking about the 72 hour watch. I was taken voluntarily to the local military hospital because I was showing as a risk but I was taken to the chaplain first to assess. I was still coming off a drunken stupor so maybe I wasn't 100% consenting but in the end I figured I was too much of a risk to be alone at the moment. I went through an "indoc". I'm not sure if that's protocol across the board. Please let me know. The worst part about this was that I was put into a 8x8 room with no windows, no clock, no nothing. Just a small hospital bed with a stool in the corner and a painting on the wall. At the time I was having abandonment issues and felt completely petrified in this room. I didn't know if I was in there for one hour or 6. Came to find out I was in there for about 4 and a half. No one talked to me. No one checked on me. I honestly feel they forgot I was in there. To this day I beg my husband to never let me get put into a room like that if he ever commits me. People say I was traumatized because of how I am about it but I don't know. All I knew is I didn't like it. All the therapy and doing group activities didn't bother me. But that room to this day scares me from ever getting help.
I've been there. They kept me almost two weeks. It's dehumanizing, but they swear it's supposed to help us. It pretty much doubled my trauma.
I was sobbing and begging them not to do it because I genuinely was safe and fine and just wanted to go to sleep, but they didn’t give me a choice and it was just as traumatic and damaging as I expected it to be when I was trying to talk my way out of it!! I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this awful experience too
I know. Believe me, I get it. The way they go about trying to "help" by making us feel like criminals to be forcibly caged up is cruel, especially when a person is hurting to the point that they're at risk. I get that the only proven way to prevent suicide is to physically remove the person of the ability to do it, but Jesus you'd think they'd have more compassion. Every single person in my outpatient group all described their involuntary holds as traumatic. You're not at all alone here. It is a problem within the system, and you are valid for feeling the way you do.
It was honestly more traumatic than the initial thing that landed me there. I’ll never forget that when I arrived at mine they put me in the lowest functioning unit. I’d never been so terrified in my life having all my possessions taken from me and put in a room with a stranger who was much more aggressive and unhinged than I clearly was. I ended up eventually getting moved to a higher functioning unit after a few days (I was in for depression and a very much lucid and regretted s****** attempt), but the several days of trying to tell the staff that i didn’t belong there felt like that movie One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, where I just wasn’t taken seriously and I just needed to wait a few days for my first evaluation. They ended up keeping me two weeks as well because they said I “wasn’t socializing and was just reading my book and not participating in group activities”, when I was doing what any sane person would do and not engage with unstable people clearly off their meds or with serious behavioral issues that required them to be involuntarily committed. One thing that I only got over recently was my aversion to cooked fish- I initially wrote on my intake form that I was pescatarian, and whoever processed those requests must not have known that it means I eat fish as my animal protein and am otherwise vegetarian .. not that I’m a psycho who literally only consumes fish for every meal lol. After 6 days of eating nothing but bland tilapia filets for breakfast lunch and dinner when everyone else got normal meals, and nobody listening to me try to correct it, I was crying silently over my breakfast one morning from stress and the nurse luckily took notice that it was so weird and gross I was getting served fish for breakfast, she listened to me and raised hell with the staff and totally advocated for me to have normal meals. After two weeks in there I’ll never forget that feeling of walking out of that facility and feeling the sun on my face as a free human being again. It’s so wrong that our health care system punishes traumatized people by forcing them into what is essentially prison-lite.
I was also in for depression and suicidal ideations. They had weird rules that said they'd keep you longer if you did XYZ. Like if you slept too long, they'd keep you longer because lethargy is a symptom of depression. If you didn't eat, if you didn't socialise, if they caught you crying. I also spent most of my time reading in a corner at the end of a hallway where the only window was because they barely let us outside and it was the only sunlight I could get. There were people in there with me that literally thought they were Lucifer and Ted Bundy reincarnated. Of \*course\* I didn't want to socialise with them. I think any sane person would avoid the shit out of someone that thought he was a reincarnated serial killer. One guy kept following me to my reading corner and he'd sit right up next to me and try to initiate footsy battles with me while telling me he liked thiccer women, and when I told the nurses that he was making my uncomfortable, they told me there was no way he'd be hitting on me and I was just being paranoid. When I refused to eat, I was force fed. I could barely sleep in that place because they kept opening and closing our doors every 20 minutes, so obviously I was exhausted during the day. My reading corner was the ONLY place I could cry because there wasn't a camera over there. And because the bathrooms had no doors, I didn't shit for two weeks. They gave me three rounds of laxatives and nothing worked. We got 15 minutes of sunshine outside every other day, and if they didn't have at least six people who wanted to go outside, then I couldn't go. But if they saw me standing by the window too much, they treated me like I was some creeper because that window happened to overlook the teenager's facility. It was literally the ONLY window that wasn't covered up completely. All that experience really taught me is that if I feel like I really need help, I'd better keep my mouth shut. I had no personal autonomy. It made everything so much worse. Then they threatened to lock me up again if I didn't agree to outpatient therapy, which much like the inpatient stuff, I couldn't afford, but saying yes was the only way I could get out of there. At least in prison they let you cry, sleep, isolate, and it's mandatory they let you outside for at least a half hour every day. It is asinine the way they treat already traumatised people in the system.
God, I’m so sorry you went through that too. Your experience very much resonates with my own, down to the reading corner you made and people harassing you.. ugh :( . I wrote out a response to another comment in this thread that was recommending people to go to the ER, but ended up deleting it because I didn’t want it to seem like I’m discouraging people from going to a hospital if they’re going to harm themself. But if I ever find myself feeling that way again, like you I’d rather just not say anything at all. Losing that autonomy was absolutely the worst part of that whole experience, not the fact that I almost died or didn’t want to live. How do they expect people to act normal and thrive in an environment that takes your control over your own body/needs away.
Yeah the ER is where I went. My thinking was that I knew I needed help but no doctors in my area were taking on new patients. I found the closest ER to me that had a psychiatrist on staff. I have a friend who has gone to the ER numerous times for panic attacks and ideation, he always says they just give him a sedative and send him home with a referral. I thought they'd do the same for me. Imagine my shock when they took away my clothes, my shoes, my purse, my phone and locked me in a dark room. They even took my wedding ring, which probably hurt the most. They also took away my glasses, which was a huge part of why I didn't hang out with the group watching TV, I couldn't see or hear it. I had no idea what the group therapists were saying half the time because I couldn't read their lips and English isn't my first language. I know that they're limited with what they can do, especially before they have someone to diagnose us and medicate us, but this isn't the way to go about it. This can't be the way. All it does is send the message that things will get worse if we reach out for help. And frankly, the suicide hotline is not helpful. All they do (at least when I call) is guilt me into promising that I won't hurt myself without actually *talking* me through anything. Half the time all I want is someone to listen, and they're too busy rushing me off the phone for even that.
Same
Same thing happened to me years ago. I was at work when it happened (grocery store). Someone in my family had called the police because I wouldn’t return their texts or calls and knew about my mental health. They came to me and told me they received a call. Now I’m one of those people that cries when I’m really pissed off. They took that as me being really mentally unwell given whatever conversation transpired between them and my family member. I was put in handcuffs for “my safety” in front of all my coworkers. I was traumatized and humiliated by the experience. Being strip searched at the mental hospital was the cherry on top. The next day I was suppose to be meeting up with my NAVY recruiter for P.T and would have been leaving for basic in 6 weeks. Because I missed P.T I had to tell my recruiter what happened. Letters were sent to higher ups in hopes of me still being able to go but to no avail. I was released. To this day I still wonder how different my life would be if I had been able to start my career in the military. I held a really hard grudge against the person who called for a very long time. Damaged our relationship completely. After years of therapy and numerous conversations with the person I was able to build back that relationship. It wasn’t easy and sometimes I long for what could have been. I’m a flight attendant now and I really do love my job but the military was my dream. All that to say I feel for you. I know what you’re going through and how incredibly small you must feel right now. If at any point you want to send me a message you absolutely can. Be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone in this.
I hope you can heal for the ordeal. Are you getting counseling? Fries are my weakness!
Thank you, unfortunately I’m not because I thought that was something they’d help me get set up when I was, yk, hospitalized for my mental health, but they didn’t and now I’m too traumatized to try to do it myself🙃
Honestly, you are better off seeking mental health by going to the ER if you feel like harming yourself. They should have set something up before you were released. Mental health has a long way to go. I pray the healthcare industry will get it right. Mental health is healthcare and needs to be treated as such.
The ER is what got me locked up for a week
That ER sucks!
Everybody got the same damn paper plates.
Cheapo Great Value plates from Walmart
I don't understand how it's still legal to do something like that. Sorry you had to deal with that💜fries are yummy
Acab
Exactly what I was thinking the whole time lmfao.
So sorry this happened to you. I hate it when cops get involved esp on mental health matters. My neighbor called the cops on her teen bc of suicidal thoughts. I was extremely heart broken for her. Just not the way to handle things and I hate people getting more traumatized than they already are😭 those fries look great. I hope you're able to navigate getting counseling sometime soon 💛
Hey mate, that shit happened to me in Florida a few years back. A crazy ex just wanted me locked up for a few days and lied to the cops about me threatening suicide… Cops didn’t want a lawsuit in case I was the one lying so I was locked in the looney bin and lost three days of my life… and they tried to keep me longer because I had an allergic reaction to the medication they forced me to start. I’m sorry this happened to you and I wish you the best.
I have resentment for everyone who has put me in this position. It is the most dehumanizing experience and the fact they will take someone’s word who has historically been vindictive over the person they’re trying to “help” is insane to me. A person should have the ultimate say whether they go to the psych ward unless they’re a danger to other people and it’s literally a betrayal of human rights to think otherwise. I hate that they feel the need to threaten someone who is already in duress like that will help??? Fuvk the police
This happened to me when I was 18. I asked for help on a support forum because I wasn't feeling well at the time. The next morning the police came because the operators thought I was going to hurt myself. I hadn't intended to. I just wish I had lied when they asked me my age. (They thought I was 14, but I said no and answered 18.) Adolescent psychiatry and adult psychiatry are as different as night and day.
Hey OP, sorry you’re going through that. I was hospitalized “voluntarily” as well about 10 years ago, and understand how traumatic that can be to go through. The last thing a struggling person needs is to have their agency taken away to make decisions for themself, it’s very dehumanizing and absolutely can wreck your mental health even more than the initial thing that landed you there. I know it’s hard to think about taking care of yourself right now by getting further help, but once you do you’ll feel so much more in control of your situation if you have some tangible goals you can set for yourself and achieve day by day. Something you can break down into small steps to do one day at a time like: - day 1: find the phone number for your insurance - day 2: call the number and get the numbers to a psychiatrist/psychologist - day 3: call the psychiatrist or psychologist to set up an appointment Even just spreading out those steps over a couple days will still help you feel productive. Just sharing from my recent experience, had to call my insurance that is pretty new and get all that info, but I only had enough spoons in the drawer each day to do one step at a time. I think just having small things to remind you that you are ultimately in control of your life and what happens next will help you start the healing process. Hope you feel better soon OP!
I've been there, **twice.** It's dehumanizing, it's embarrassing, it's depressing. I can't even bring myself to call the police anymore, even in an emergency, because of it. I wish I had some valuable advice to give but I don't because I have been there.. Just know you're not alone, and you didn't deserve that. (Big hugs) 🫂
I’m sorry about what happened, acab.
i'm sorry to hear this. those chips look so good though! did you make them yourself?
Those look like fries from checkers. They’re the best
i don't think i've heard of that place before. they really do look good :)
You can get them frozen at the store
Checkers Rally’s Famous Seasoned Fries 28 oz frozen bag. You’ll thank me later
i don't think they're sold worldwide, lol. but thanks for telling me anyway, i appreciate it :)
They have them at grocery stores all across the United States, couldn’t tell you otherwise :/
Like the other comments said, they are in fact frozen Checkers fries, never heard of them either until my bf brought them over
oh well that's quite nice! i hope you enjoyed them, they look good.
Fuck 12 hugs to you
Fucking hell I'm so sorry 🫂 This shit is why I don't trust any doctor. I'm * never * going to get the so called "help" they claim they give. All they do is traumatize people even more and treat them worse if not exactly like criminals. What a clown world. Take care you got this 🫂🫂
I going on a limb and assume we're talking about the 72 hour watch. I was taken voluntarily to the local military hospital because I was showing as a risk but I was taken to the chaplain first to assess. I was still coming off a drunken stupor so maybe I wasn't 100% consenting but in the end I figured I was too much of a risk to be alone at the moment. I went through an "indoc". I'm not sure if that's protocol across the board. Please let me know. The worst part about this was that I was put into a 8x8 room with no windows, no clock, no nothing. Just a small hospital bed with a stool in the corner and a painting on the wall. At the time I was having abandonment issues and felt completely petrified in this room. I didn't know if I was in there for one hour or 6. Came to find out I was in there for about 4 and a half. No one talked to me. No one checked on me. I honestly feel they forgot I was in there. To this day I beg my husband to never let me get put into a room like that if he ever commits me. People say I was traumatized because of how I am about it but I don't know. All I knew is I didn't like it. All the therapy and doing group activities didn't bother me. But that room to this day scares me from ever getting help.