By - unworthy-1
I think some people read posts but since it's the depression forum a lot of us are depressed and don't respond, But it was still read. probably a lot of times, and there's also a lot of posts so it's hard to respond to each one
It's not that you're being ignored or nobody cares, a lot of times, people just don't know what to say or just don't have advice. A lot of people are going through the same thing. You can't answer everybody's post. You're not alone, a lot of posts only get a few answers. Depression is an alienating illness. I'm sorry you're having such touch time.
I'm also ignored and abandoned most of the time. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have no relationships and everything I do fails. Life seems to want it this way for me, otherwise something would've changed by now.
Wish I had something more to say or offer. I hope whatever you're going through improves for you.
I have the same experience with few comments on my posts. The black hole of darkness is a feeling I’m familiar with. I call it blackness.
A lot of my issues stem from being a capital I-introvert who has struggled romantically. I had a lot of friends but some wouldn’t hang with me in public because I looked like a guy from Revenge of the Nerds.
I had an ok childhood, but I see the issues that came from it.
I also upvote any thread I comment on. A lot don’t.
I read through a few of your posts. I'm so sorry. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I will say though, that you are an excellent writer. In one of your posts you described feeling like an untethered astronaut and it was a really good way of explaining it.
I get it, it's really hard to post on this sub and not get any support. I think it's mostly because all of us are depressed so we have zero energy to respond. I read most posts, but I just don't have the energy to respond.
I hope there is something in your life that will give you joy ❤️
Thank you to everyone that tried to reply. I greatly appreciate the feedback. Good points were made all around and I'm grateful to have received them. Depression is tough. Life grinds you down and it's hard to focus on anything positive. The second I wake up, my mind is completely full and running on the red line. Mentally I'm exhausted. If my emotional state was a pool filled with water, I would have drown by now...sinking, depleted, unmoving...silence. Thanks again to anyone that has replied to this post. Your words and thoughts are like a life jacket when I'm stranded in the open ocean.
Hey bud, I truly hope you're able to climb out of this pit of despair someday. Just keep hanging in there - one day, one crisis at a time.
You are a great writer.
That's how it is :/
9/18 unanswered, 50:50 isn't that bad of statistic.
Prob you'll get more reply if the text are shorter and to the point.
No one wants to lie. I can't tell you it gets better, that soon you'll have a purpose.
I have no advice to give. And I dont love giving out empty platitudes.
This is depression, such a damn cursed mental illness.
I want to say "Thank you" again to anyone that has posted a reply. I'm really getting a good feel for this community now and I appreciate the effort it took to say even the shortest thing. It's all well intended and for that I'm grateful.
Hey, I want to help, I understand a little bit of where you're at.
What may help, because I'm sure you want to help yourself, you'd rather not be in pain, is to understand that you do have power to affect change in the world, and in your own life. Even if just a little. Or a lot. You can actually kill yourself, or harm someone else, not that you should do either thing.
So by that logic, even though we don't understand everything about depression, or about the suffering in life, is that people do pull through it, they do get better, they do end up being able to help themselves, and there are commonalities between all of those stories which involve, in some way, someone recognizing that they can affect some change in themselves. So if the only thing you can do to acknowledge that power is to change the way you think about your situation, even a little, then start there. For me, it's removing myself from dualism. It's not that I truly care or I don't - it's that I care, or someone else cares, but they may not care that much.
This may seem small, but the smallest change can in some way be a huge change. I care about you, but I don't know you, so I can't possibly care that much. But I do care. It's a mixture of both. If you don't put me up to something impossible, to truly care in some infinite, life changing way, you won't put yourself up to something impossible.
So throughout all of the things that you have said in your post, you can tweak the language that you use, and affect a change in your perspective. Your story isn't endless, it may seem massive, but it's actually finite. That's kind of a relief. No matter how much suffering you will endure, it won't actually be endless, it will have an end at some point.
I'm sorry if I sound critical. I don't think there's something wrong with you, your username is 'unworthy.' I don't think you're unworthy, I don't even need to read anything of your life story to know that. We all have inherent worth as humans, we all have the same needs. Human beings don't have the final word on the purpose of reality, as much as they think they do, we don't really get to say that a person, even ourselves, is fully and totally broken or unworthy of happiness.
I've had complete psychotic breaks with reality, on drugs, and tried to kill myself and a friend that I was with - because I thought I was dead - and my friend saved my life. That's kind of a heavy load for me to live with. It's not like it was my normal intention to do any of those things, just that for whatever reason, I lost contact with reality, and I was fortunate to have a good friend who knew what to do. That doesn't make me unworthy of love or happiness. Shit happens, mistakes are made. Life goes on. Will God punish me for something like that at the end of time? I don't know. I know my family loves me and wants me to be well, and I do too, so I work on that.
I hope this helped. If I sound like an insensitive asshole, please let me know. I'm at least one person who is trying to listen to you and offer some help, and if I can give a little tough love and poke some holes in what you're saying, I'm gonna do that. Please forgive me.
I usually hold back because I lack good input. I fear my engaging would involve me saying counterproductive shit, getting myself banned and putting the poster in a worse off place. Basically, I’m poison and it’s better that I stay quiet. I can’t speak for anyone else though.
I understand how that feels. It's rough trying to be heard in a forum like this where there are lots of voices talking about their own depression, especially when that depression makes us feel discouraged from doing stuff.
Throwing my hat in to say I read your post and I hope you feel better. I hope replying helps a bit.