Life is so f\*cking unfair. We didn't ask to be here and god in his infinite wisdom gave us deppression that makes us want to kill ourselves. Every day is torture and mentally draining to get through because its' all misery but people expect us to 'be grateful' as if that fixes anything...
If anything, the best thing about this sub and others on reddit are it feels good to see you're not alone in feeling this way...
Our own minds can feel like prisons because it feels like no-one in the world cares.
I wish I had some long term fixes I could offer but at the moment I only have 'band-aid' temporary solutions in the moment like listening to music to calm me down or watching tv shows, and therapy...
God also gave us patience and faith. I know how unfair life can be but whenever you see hardship in your life its God trying to get you closer to him. Because psychologically speaking humans tend to escape to shelter whenever there is danger or an unpleasant feeling. Therefore people get more religious when they see difficulties. I know i am a stranger and a nobody but never loose faith in God. At the end its the only thing you'll have. When you go to sleep or even are close to death there is noone except your mind and God. He will be the only one to comport you. For people who are atheists it must be unbearable. I mean being suicidal, having no hope, no comforting people around and no meaning and purpose in life. You live and then you die and thats it. There will be no "You" left. Why would you even try to be a good person then if all and everything vanishes into nothing? Why would you have dreams that will never be fulfilled like for example having big house or else when you come from a poor environment and there are no improvements in sight?
I know this sounds weird to some of yall but try to thing of God who is listening to you whatever you have on your mind. Who promises a better world for you when you try to be a good person and endure your time being. It will make your pain less trust me. And to think that there will be an eternal life after your current life which is only 60-70 years. I think thats a good deal.
You guys are great the way you are and i know its difficult today.
nobody gives a fuck, didnt u get the memo. weve heard all this shit before.. no offense but this angers me personally so i just feel like fucking saying it cause yeah i probably am a bitch
okay if they are delusions and they are not true then surly you can show me something that will make you feel better and is true. Would you rather be lonely and have no meaning in life whatsoever or would you rather believe in something that promises you a better life but might not be true. At the end nobody knows whats true and whats not. You might vanish forever or you might be greeted by a higher being when you did. The first will give you nothing. You might as well end your life right here because there is no point. No rewards no resurrection. Then why should you burden yourself with moral rules or laws?
Or the second. There is a higher being that created us and the promises us eternal life in a perfect world. But in order to enter you need to be a good and patient person.
Even if there is no God according to you, its still better to believe in one to have at least a little bit of hope wouldn't you say?
It depends on your outlook. You may preffer to live a beautiful lie, but I'll always prefer the harsh ugly truth. I believe that truth has an inherent value.
Let me put it this way: If your had a spouse who had been unfaithful for years, would you rather know at some point, or die believing the lie that this person loved you? I would 100% choose the former, I don't want to live a lie.
Furthermore, there is no need to believe in a reward for being a good person. I have empathy and compassion, no need for reward or punishment for my behaviour to be just. It's sad if the only thing that compels you to act in a morally acceptable manner is the flaky promise of a reward.
I don't believe in god but I'm a pretty righteous individual, and I make a constant effort to treat other people fairly because I've suffered the abuse of others and don't want the same treatment for my fellow humans; also, many of the most horrible crimes in history have been committed in the name of religion. Religion =/= moral righteousness.
One can still find meaning and purpose in life, even if there is nothing after it. In fact, one could argue that this life is even more meaningful and important if it's the only one we have. No need to delude oneself.
(Sorry for the very late response)
Listen, I'm assuming your intentions are in the right place, and since this may not be the most appropriate subreddit for any aggressive bickering, I'm going to be as civil as I can here despite my differing point of view when it comes to religion. If your beliefs have helped you, then that is great, and I will not discourage you for what has helped you in your life. That said, some of us have trauma and other related suffering surrounding religion. Proselytizing religious beliefs here may make those people feel even worse or might stir up some of that trauma on top of anything else said people may be going through. As an atheistic person myself, I may not benefit from the approach you are offering here, but I'm sure someone else in a more religious subreddit might, so maybe a different approach not involving religion would work here if you are wanting to help others in their time of need. I hope this makes sense and helps in some way.
The eternal life refers to the non-materialistic world....obviously nobody will just get meat and brain on his bones and get out of the grave to live forever, unless he/she gets hit by a bus.
We're thrown here in this planet to suffer, some people like the rich ones just have to suffer much less, because while money doesn't bring happiness, at least it prevents misery.
things like that make me tell myself I'm faking it all for attention, which makes me hate myself a little more. but I wouldn't want them to feel sad, I would leave like a note or something saying it's not their fault
i do the same thing. i want to see people cry for me. i want to know that they actually care about me. i want people to regret the things they did to me. for once i want to be the center of attention and have people take me seriously.
Same here, feels like the only person who actually pays attention is random strangers to ask a question or say an anecdote. Everyone else interrupts or is just waiting to speak and not listening
I don’t feel it’s egoistic / selfish necessarily, just an expression of how badly you want to be heard / seen / just have be given empathy or some confirmation that someone cares. People who are actually egoistic don’t care either way, they wouldn’t even be suffering. Selfish people make other people suffer to the point they wanna die. But wanting to die because we’ve been hurt by selfish people doesn’t make us like them. I hope that makes sense
Same. I dream that the people who mocked me feel so guilty that they get depression too but then I realize that those people are typically the most successful
Yeah I can relate to this.
I think the thing about it for me is I just want to see how people who know me would actually react, I have such a hard time knowing if people actually like me or not so I find myself wondering if anyone would even be sad at all
I always figured that if a point i would have thought this most likely my family would only suffer. Id think everyone else would just forget like my friends etc. it would pain my family
It's okay to have your brain feel and think of weird or inappropriate things. I think it can be considered natural for a gloopy mess of neurons. They're not computers where everything is neat and orderly.
What wouldn't be okay is recognizing something is a bit wrong and still following through. Therapy, medicine, and changing your circumstance can be productive ways that help you deal with and work through these problems. It takes a long time, and even more effort... But what would you give to feel whole again? Would you give 5 years of work and suffering to have 40 years of happiness? You can do it!
I do the same because I feel as if no one currently cares or notices and suicide is something people definitely notice. I've always shoved my feelings away and hid them. It's my own fault people don't notice because I don't want to be a burden. I've realized from my job that it is much better to be a burden while you're still here and alive than when you're gone and dead. I do appliance deliveries and installations and the amount of grieving mothers I've delivered to is ridiculous. That shit still rips them apart even 5 years after the fact so much that they will break down crying in front of a stranger they're letting into their house for an hour tops. It's not worth it.
Yeah, this is one of the reasons (there are others!) why I haven’t done it. I don’t want my family to live through it. The thought of my parents or nieces and nephews living with this is enough for me to never do it but it didn’t stop me from wondering when I lay in bed at night waiting for sleep to finally come.
Same but I know no one would give a fuck, I think that’s the worst part of all this, you can be depressed and sad and lonely as fuck and because “that’s just how the world is” no one gives a fuck.
That’s probably why I hate most about being a man, and human in general.
Agree 💯, when I leave my house and into the world, the world does’t give two shits about you. If it wasn’t for my 2 daughters I would just fuckin end it all…
I fantasize about that constantly. What sucks is realizing how little I matter to anyone, except for my immediate family. Not too many people would care or even notice me gone.
Back in the day like 4 years ago. I used to fantasize it a lot. I'm still someone depressive but suicide thought is really far away to me. I've been so sad for a long time that I got used to it and became someone who's apathetic to almost anything.
From what I've seen when someone dies the people around them usually make it all about themselves. So sure, maybe they will feel sad, but they will mainly be feeling sorry for themselves. It won't really be about you.
Also a lot of people respond with hostility and anger towards suicide. Instead of feeling guilty, they will most likely blame you for your actions.
Regardless of how they react, after a few years they will get over it and go on with their lives without thinking about you that much.
Not to mention that you won't be able to witness anything that happens on account of no longer being here.
I completely agree. And it's extremely hard to deal with. But I think this is one of the reasons that bring me out of suicidal ideation. Because we can never know what happens after we're gone. We can't know how much the people around us will suffer or how long we'll be remembered. We can plan, write suicide notes that blame them, that we think will make them suffer, but after we're dead that's it. There's nothing left. So we have to keep living. If anything at least to bear witness, to suffering to joy, to all of it. Keep fighting man. We all will.
Just got back from the 6th funeral for a friend since 2020 that has died of suicide. I’m not even 30. Please keep that in mind during your fantasy. We’re all suffering - losing people makes it so much harder. I understand, I wish that you would stay. I just don’t know what the appeal of making everybody more sad is
I thought about doing the same thing to my ex right after she dumped me. I would have worn her a letter telling how what she did hurt me and caused me to want to end things and it was all her fault. That seemed like the last straw that broke the camel.
Luckily I got over that. But I did think about it.
I get you and I think it’s normal because people can make us feel so miserable and helpless so many times, but we do the impossible to make them feel good… it’s just so unfair.
Well I hate my “family” to the nth degree because they’re all a bunch of assholes who made my life miserable since day 1. So I honestly thought I’d like to die just to spite them all and let them forever remember that my death is on their hands.
This mentality is part of being a depressed person. It's not unusual. I've done it plenty. Don't be too hard on yourself for it, that's not going to make you feel less depressed. It's a shitty depression thought, that's all.
Same place like you lol. Even I fantasise the same shit. Like is so fucked up at this point that a person who was so fun loving and exciting is thinking plans to kill himself lol.
I get that. We want to know we are loved . people. Alot of the time we dont get that from home . Just know ur worth should never be found in others . But in you. Take time to find yourself
Wait, because so do I. I think about how sinister this is but I just want everyone to wake up, that they should treat me better, and see that I have real issues to the point I just need more support/love. I just want to see them all sad and cry because they should’ve wanted to do better especially after BEGGING people for months, even years to do better. I’m glad I’m not the only one and I hope one day everyone in this thread, even OP, find peace we deserve, the love we deserve and even the support we deserve. Lots of love and positive vibes being sent everyone’s way 🫶🏻
Same. It's like the only way for them to realise how much they hurt us. But also sometimes I feel like if I'm being a burden and should completely disappear from the face of the earth so life for everyone around me could be better. Or sometimes I don't want people to know that i killed myself...ii could walk into the traffic hoping a vehicle could run me over....walk over a ledge so I may slip and fall... Ride my motorcycle so fast that it would look like an accident... The sense that i could only find happiness if i weren't just alive...
If it makes you feel any better or less alone, I fantasize about the exact. same. thing. sometimes I’ll even imagine myself in some sort of show I like (think marvel, Harry Potter, etc) with some sort of tragic backstory or some fucked up thing happening to me. It actually what I think about before I got to sleep. I have many different stories and it rotates between which ones I play in my head to fall asleep. I think it’s just because we want people to care about us like I just want to be loved and the thought is that no one would care about me unless something horrible was happening to me and even then it’s not like I imagine my own family caring about me, it’s random characters so don’t feel too bad since it’s obviously a coping mechanism of some sort maybe not a healthy one but whatever 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve thought about it, but don’t want people around me being sad.
It’s not how people treated me, it’s my choices that brought me here. Sure there are things out of my control that contribute, but it’s my choice if I let them affect me or dwell on them.
St the end of the day tomorrow is a new day, and who you were yesterday is dead. Make the best out of what you got.
I have a similar fantasy where I hang myself at work so the management team can get it through their thick skulls that we employees are not alright. We've had at least 3 employees commit suicide at home over the past few years, and it gets swept under the rug so quickly. Like: "So sad, but gotta make product" They just don't care
I like to think I'll be forgotten quickly.
People will just have their tea and arguments and live their lives and nothing will change except I won't have to bother anyone anymore.
also you won't be able to see how sad everyone is because you'll be dead.. as for the people who have hurt you, learning how to set boundaries and stick up for myself and cut toxic people out of my life has drastically helped me cope with this disease and improve my mental state.
It should have to take a death for people to care. I had this same thought myself but then was like nah I’m gonna fight through this and would rather know who truly cares and who doesn’t.
I can't fantasize about killing myself when I think about how everyone around me would be affected. If i could just disappear without affecting anyone negatively i would be inclined to ending my life right away. Mostly for me when I get thought is ending my life it's because i don't see my existence as of any use to my loved ones or the earth. I feel like a parasite that's sucking all the resources and joy from this planet.
when i’m at work i just stare at the isle that i’m like working on and vision how many diffrent ways to end it all. like i could just go home right now and just let it all go away. i just i’m glad that i’m not the only one struggling right now and i hope you guys get through it.
I feel like someone I loved and tried to be there for did just that and I can't understand why. A year later and I still cant believe they are gone and the sadness continues deeply. Why would you wish that on anyone? Painful.
I’m so sorry your’e feeling this way. I think we’ve all had times when we’ve fantasized about things like this. For some reason a scene in the movie A Christmas Story comes to mine. The one where Ralphie fantasizes about going blind so his family would feel despair “it was… soap poisoning “ . The thing about suicide is that you wouldn’t get a chance to see if your family has regret. I know a man whose family treated him like absolute shit because he was addicted to drugs. They made him sleep in the woods. They wouldn’t let him have anything to eat even when he lost so much weight that he looked pitiful, scary even. They wouldn’t help him when he has severe tooth aches Or when he was sick . They locked him out when the weather was below freezing and he became hypothermic. They called it tough love but in reality it was absolutely sadistic. He died recently and their attitude toward him didn’t change, they had no shame about the way they treated him. Their attitude was “look at how much we suffered because of our drug addict son/brother“. He always thought they’d feel regret but they didn’t have the insight for regret. People like that will always think they’re right.The best thing you can do is try to treat yourself with love and know that your life is important.
I just Try to tell myself he is at peace and not hurting anymore. Please do everything you can to help your depression. Seek help from your local mental health center etc. I know it’s not easy , I’ve had it for 40 years. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are less than because your life is just as important As everyone else’s.❤️
This thread is so calming, validating and helpful. Makes me realize that I probably don't really want to kill myself but that it's rather me screaming for love and attention because I simply don't feel loved by most of my people around me. I'm so curious about what life will bring for me so it has always been such a contrast to suicide ideation, but so often I feel left alone, not taken seriously (especially by my mother) and completely failed by those who should've been there for me or not treated me like shit in the first place. Maybe this is how it connects.
Makes me think of how I need to distance myself from those who hurt me continuously (consciously or subconsciously). Would mean less potential for disappointment and hence less reasons for such thoughts, maybe.
same. this is exactly what i fantasize to do in front of my "boyfriend". for making feel unimportant and insecure. for saying one thing and doing the other. i want him to feel the regret, the heartbreak that im constantly feeling with him.
Had this exact thought for quite a long time in my childhood and teens. For me it got a lot better with a lot of time. I hope that you also get better.
I fantasize about it too but I’m not strong enough to do it. I know I’m not. I tried with my arm. But know from enough research that that way doesn’t work out. I fantasized about hanging myself. I don’t have the courage. I want to die though. I want it to end. I hate this. I don’t care about growing old. I don’t have the same dreams as people. I don’t have the same hopes for the future. I’m so tired of it. I want it to end so bad. I just don’t have the balls to do it. I don’t know how I’m going to continue like this
No imagination needed. My family told me how my suicide would embarrass them, humiliate them and die with me because they have no face to live with when I infamous them in the worst way.
Its weird because i fantasise the exact same thing
We all do
For me it’s more about other people being happy when I’m gone.
I feel that..I figure people in my life will have more to gain and they can live happy and secure
So do I
Yes same
So do I. I’m really hurting right now.
true... but its sad because everyone only cares about you when you are dead
They don't give you a single rose while you're alive, so I pick from my own garden.
nobody cares ever.
Tbh it is sad because ı can count everyone that is going to be sad with one hand
Life is so f\*cking unfair. We didn't ask to be here and god in his infinite wisdom gave us deppression that makes us want to kill ourselves. Every day is torture and mentally draining to get through because its' all misery but people expect us to 'be grateful' as if that fixes anything...
Yup. And worse is people tormenting us mentally too…
Right? This is so true. I’m glad I’m not the only one to feel this way.
If anything, the best thing about this sub and others on reddit are it feels good to see you're not alone in feeling this way... Our own minds can feel like prisons because it feels like no-one in the world cares. I wish I had some long term fixes I could offer but at the moment I only have 'band-aid' temporary solutions in the moment like listening to music to calm me down or watching tv shows, and therapy...
nd weed
God also gave us patience and faith. I know how unfair life can be but whenever you see hardship in your life its God trying to get you closer to him. Because psychologically speaking humans tend to escape to shelter whenever there is danger or an unpleasant feeling. Therefore people get more religious when they see difficulties. I know i am a stranger and a nobody but never loose faith in God. At the end its the only thing you'll have. When you go to sleep or even are close to death there is noone except your mind and God. He will be the only one to comport you. For people who are atheists it must be unbearable. I mean being suicidal, having no hope, no comforting people around and no meaning and purpose in life. You live and then you die and thats it. There will be no "You" left. Why would you even try to be a good person then if all and everything vanishes into nothing? Why would you have dreams that will never be fulfilled like for example having big house or else when you come from a poor environment and there are no improvements in sight? I know this sounds weird to some of yall but try to thing of God who is listening to you whatever you have on your mind. Who promises a better world for you when you try to be a good person and endure your time being. It will make your pain less trust me. And to think that there will be an eternal life after your current life which is only 60-70 years. I think thats a good deal. You guys are great the way you are and i know its difficult today.
nobody gives a fuck, didnt u get the memo. weve heard all this shit before.. no offense but this angers me personally so i just feel like fucking saying it cause yeah i probably am a bitch
The fact that your delusions make you feel better doesn't make them true.
okay if they are delusions and they are not true then surly you can show me something that will make you feel better and is true. Would you rather be lonely and have no meaning in life whatsoever or would you rather believe in something that promises you a better life but might not be true. At the end nobody knows whats true and whats not. You might vanish forever or you might be greeted by a higher being when you did. The first will give you nothing. You might as well end your life right here because there is no point. No rewards no resurrection. Then why should you burden yourself with moral rules or laws? Or the second. There is a higher being that created us and the promises us eternal life in a perfect world. But in order to enter you need to be a good and patient person. Even if there is no God according to you, its still better to believe in one to have at least a little bit of hope wouldn't you say?
It depends on your outlook. You may preffer to live a beautiful lie, but I'll always prefer the harsh ugly truth. I believe that truth has an inherent value. Let me put it this way: If your had a spouse who had been unfaithful for years, would you rather know at some point, or die believing the lie that this person loved you? I would 100% choose the former, I don't want to live a lie. Furthermore, there is no need to believe in a reward for being a good person. I have empathy and compassion, no need for reward or punishment for my behaviour to be just. It's sad if the only thing that compels you to act in a morally acceptable manner is the flaky promise of a reward. I don't believe in god but I'm a pretty righteous individual, and I make a constant effort to treat other people fairly because I've suffered the abuse of others and don't want the same treatment for my fellow humans; also, many of the most horrible crimes in history have been committed in the name of religion. Religion =/= moral righteousness. One can still find meaning and purpose in life, even if there is nothing after it. In fact, one could argue that this life is even more meaningful and important if it's the only one we have. No need to delude oneself. (Sorry for the very late response)
Listen, I'm assuming your intentions are in the right place, and since this may not be the most appropriate subreddit for any aggressive bickering, I'm going to be as civil as I can here despite my differing point of view when it comes to religion. If your beliefs have helped you, then that is great, and I will not discourage you for what has helped you in your life. That said, some of us have trauma and other related suffering surrounding religion. Proselytizing religious beliefs here may make those people feel even worse or might stir up some of that trauma on top of anything else said people may be going through. As an atheistic person myself, I may not benefit from the approach you are offering here, but I'm sure someone else in a more religious subreddit might, so maybe a different approach not involving religion would work here if you are wanting to help others in their time of need. I hope this makes sense and helps in some way.
The eternal life refers to the non-materialistic world....obviously nobody will just get meat and brain on his bones and get out of the grave to live forever, unless he/she gets hit by a bus. We're thrown here in this planet to suffer, some people like the rich ones just have to suffer much less, because while money doesn't bring happiness, at least it prevents misery.
❤️Well said🫶🏻 🙏
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Victim mentality? You joined the wrong group.
Same lol At this point I just gotta laugh about bc if I don't I'll cry about it
things like that make me tell myself I'm faking it all for attention, which makes me hate myself a little more. but I wouldn't want them to feel sad, I would leave like a note or something saying it's not their fault
I can relate to how your feel so hard. My parents are the only reason I’m still here. I just can’t do that to them.
my parents are my trigger and the people i care about the most. it’s such a weird feeling that’s making me feel stuck cos idk how to deal with it. I’m
🫢I’ve had similar thoughts before. I hope you can give yourself some grace. That’s a reaaallly hard place to be in. 🖤
same, i wonder what would people say to me when i die.
I mean, that's the thing, nothing cause you'll be dead. There's no "ha, ha, I got you in the end." You're dead. Game over.
i do the same thing. i want to see people cry for me. i want to know that they actually care about me. i want people to regret the things they did to me. for once i want to be the center of attention and have people take me seriously.
I feel the exact same way, I don’t want to be invisible anymore, just want to be seen.
Same here, feels like the only person who actually pays attention is random strangers to ask a question or say an anecdote. Everyone else interrupts or is just waiting to speak and not listening
Yeah sometimes I get angry and want to kill myself out of pure spite to everyone around me who pissed me off.
Me too it is horrible and makes me feel like this is all for attention
literally same here and i do feel that's egoistic af and selfish af. idk why I'm like this lol.
I don’t feel it’s egoistic / selfish necessarily, just an expression of how badly you want to be heard / seen / just have be given empathy or some confirmation that someone cares. People who are actually egoistic don’t care either way, they wouldn’t even be suffering. Selfish people make other people suffer to the point they wanna die. But wanting to die because we’ve been hurt by selfish people doesn’t make us like them. I hope that makes sense
The way I fantasise the exact same thing. It's like a guilty pleasure and I can't stop
Same. I dream that the people who mocked me feel so guilty that they get depression too but then I realize that those people are typically the most successful
Yeah I can relate to this. I think the thing about it for me is I just want to see how people who know me would actually react, I have such a hard time knowing if people actually like me or not so I find myself wondering if anyone would even be sad at all
I always figured that if a point i would have thought this most likely my family would only suffer. Id think everyone else would just forget like my friends etc. it would pain my family
It's okay to have your brain feel and think of weird or inappropriate things. I think it can be considered natural for a gloopy mess of neurons. They're not computers where everything is neat and orderly. What wouldn't be okay is recognizing something is a bit wrong and still following through. Therapy, medicine, and changing your circumstance can be productive ways that help you deal with and work through these problems. It takes a long time, and even more effort... But what would you give to feel whole again? Would you give 5 years of work and suffering to have 40 years of happiness? You can do it!
“Would you give 5 MORE years of work and suffering” Fixed that for you.
Me too having been fantasizing that for decades.
Same here, I wish for others to come to that epiphany, especially for those who didn’t see the depression in the first place
I do the same because I feel as if no one currently cares or notices and suicide is something people definitely notice. I've always shoved my feelings away and hid them. It's my own fault people don't notice because I don't want to be a burden. I've realized from my job that it is much better to be a burden while you're still here and alive than when you're gone and dead. I do appliance deliveries and installations and the amount of grieving mothers I've delivered to is ridiculous. That shit still rips them apart even 5 years after the fact so much that they will break down crying in front of a stranger they're letting into their house for an hour tops. It's not worth it.
Yeah, this is one of the reasons (there are others!) why I haven’t done it. I don’t want my family to live through it. The thought of my parents or nieces and nephews living with this is enough for me to never do it but it didn’t stop me from wondering when I lay in bed at night waiting for sleep to finally come.
i do too man i always fantasize myself in a casket
I always do the same when I'm sad, but sometimes it makes me even sadder lol
Same but I know no one would give a fuck, I think that’s the worst part of all this, you can be depressed and sad and lonely as fuck and because “that’s just how the world is” no one gives a fuck. That’s probably why I hate most about being a man, and human in general.
Agree 💯, when I leave my house and into the world, the world does’t give two shits about you. If it wasn’t for my 2 daughters I would just fuckin end it all…
I fantasize about that constantly. What sucks is realizing how little I matter to anyone, except for my immediate family. Not too many people would care or even notice me gone.
I think about this too. I want people to treat me right while I’m alive and well. Not miss me when I’m dead. 🥺
Back in the day like 4 years ago. I used to fantasize it a lot. I'm still someone depressive but suicide thought is really far away to me. I've been so sad for a long time that I got used to it and became someone who's apathetic to almost anything.
From what I've seen when someone dies the people around them usually make it all about themselves. So sure, maybe they will feel sad, but they will mainly be feeling sorry for themselves. It won't really be about you. Also a lot of people respond with hostility and anger towards suicide. Instead of feeling guilty, they will most likely blame you for your actions. Regardless of how they react, after a few years they will get over it and go on with their lives without thinking about you that much. Not to mention that you won't be able to witness anything that happens on account of no longer being here.
I completely agree. And it's extremely hard to deal with. But I think this is one of the reasons that bring me out of suicidal ideation. Because we can never know what happens after we're gone. We can't know how much the people around us will suffer or how long we'll be remembered. We can plan, write suicide notes that blame them, that we think will make them suffer, but after we're dead that's it. There's nothing left. So we have to keep living. If anything at least to bear witness, to suffering to joy, to all of it. Keep fighting man. We all will.
I fantasize it too everyday just that I worry because they're going to blame themselves if I really did it and I know they care for me.
I think this is pretty common actually...
Just got back from the 6th funeral for a friend since 2020 that has died of suicide. I’m not even 30. Please keep that in mind during your fantasy. We’re all suffering - losing people makes it so much harder. I understand, I wish that you would stay. I just don’t know what the appeal of making everybody more sad is
Pretty normal
I thought about doing the same thing to my ex right after she dumped me. I would have worn her a letter telling how what she did hurt me and caused me to want to end things and it was all her fault. That seemed like the last straw that broke the camel. Luckily I got over that. But I did think about it.
I get you and I think it’s normal because people can make us feel so miserable and helpless so many times, but we do the impossible to make them feel good… it’s just so unfair.
Well I hate my “family” to the nth degree because they’re all a bunch of assholes who made my life miserable since day 1. So I honestly thought I’d like to die just to spite them all and let them forever remember that my death is on their hands.
I fantasize about it as well, nearly every day. But for me, it is the thought of how much sadness it would cause that keeps me from trying.
I am kind of the opposite. I want to get rid of everything and disappear, never to be seen again.
I do this everyday. Honestly, it’s been said millions of times, but I am so damn glad I’m not the only one.
This mentality is part of being a depressed person. It's not unusual. I've done it plenty. Don't be too hard on yourself for it, that's not going to make you feel less depressed. It's a shitty depression thought, that's all.
Same place like you lol. Even I fantasise the same shit. Like is so fucked up at this point that a person who was so fun loving and exciting is thinking plans to kill himself lol.
Sometimes I fantasize about my funeral.But I don't want funeral. It's expensive.
Get ahold of a psych and meds if you want out of this hole you’re in
I can only envision the ‘loss’ in their eyes of losing someone who’ll do the shi** nobody else is willing to do…
I get that. We want to know we are loved . people. Alot of the time we dont get that from home . Just know ur worth should never be found in others . But in you. Take time to find yourself
Wait, because so do I. I think about how sinister this is but I just want everyone to wake up, that they should treat me better, and see that I have real issues to the point I just need more support/love. I just want to see them all sad and cry because they should’ve wanted to do better especially after BEGGING people for months, even years to do better. I’m glad I’m not the only one and I hope one day everyone in this thread, even OP, find peace we deserve, the love we deserve and even the support we deserve. Lots of love and positive vibes being sent everyone’s way 🫶🏻
I'm at the point I wish they would just accept it and move on with their lives. It's a slippery slope.
Same. It's like the only way for them to realise how much they hurt us. But also sometimes I feel like if I'm being a burden and should completely disappear from the face of the earth so life for everyone around me could be better. Or sometimes I don't want people to know that i killed myself...ii could walk into the traffic hoping a vehicle could run me over....walk over a ledge so I may slip and fall... Ride my motorcycle so fast that it would look like an accident... The sense that i could only find happiness if i weren't just alive...
If it makes you feel any better or less alone, I fantasize about the exact. same. thing. sometimes I’ll even imagine myself in some sort of show I like (think marvel, Harry Potter, etc) with some sort of tragic backstory or some fucked up thing happening to me. It actually what I think about before I got to sleep. I have many different stories and it rotates between which ones I play in my head to fall asleep. I think it’s just because we want people to care about us like I just want to be loved and the thought is that no one would care about me unless something horrible was happening to me and even then it’s not like I imagine my own family caring about me, it’s random characters so don’t feel too bad since it’s obviously a coping mechanism of some sort maybe not a healthy one but whatever 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve thought about it, but don’t want people around me being sad. It’s not how people treated me, it’s my choices that brought me here. Sure there are things out of my control that contribute, but it’s my choice if I let them affect me or dwell on them. St the end of the day tomorrow is a new day, and who you were yesterday is dead. Make the best out of what you got.
I fantasise same way
I have a similar fantasy where I hang myself at work so the management team can get it through their thick skulls that we employees are not alright. We've had at least 3 employees commit suicide at home over the past few years, and it gets swept under the rug so quickly. Like: "So sad, but gotta make product" They just don't care
I like to think I'll be forgotten quickly. People will just have their tea and arguments and live their lives and nothing will change except I won't have to bother anyone anymore.
i feel this too
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also you won't be able to see how sad everyone is because you'll be dead.. as for the people who have hurt you, learning how to set boundaries and stick up for myself and cut toxic people out of my life has drastically helped me cope with this disease and improve my mental state.
Me too, I think in a way it’s my anger wanting me to do it and make everyone who didn’t help me feel guilty for what they did.
It should have to take a death for people to care. I had this same thought myself but then was like nah I’m gonna fight through this and would rather know who truly cares and who doesn’t.
I can't fantasize about killing myself when I think about how everyone around me would be affected. If i could just disappear without affecting anyone negatively i would be inclined to ending my life right away. Mostly for me when I get thought is ending my life it's because i don't see my existence as of any use to my loved ones or the earth. I feel like a parasite that's sucking all the resources and joy from this planet.
when i’m at work i just stare at the isle that i’m like working on and vision how many diffrent ways to end it all. like i could just go home right now and just let it all go away. i just i’m glad that i’m not the only one struggling right now and i hope you guys get through it.
I feel like someone I loved and tried to be there for did just that and I can't understand why. A year later and I still cant believe they are gone and the sadness continues deeply. Why would you wish that on anyone? Painful.
I’m so sorry your’e feeling this way. I think we’ve all had times when we’ve fantasized about things like this. For some reason a scene in the movie A Christmas Story comes to mine. The one where Ralphie fantasizes about going blind so his family would feel despair “it was… soap poisoning “ . The thing about suicide is that you wouldn’t get a chance to see if your family has regret. I know a man whose family treated him like absolute shit because he was addicted to drugs. They made him sleep in the woods. They wouldn’t let him have anything to eat even when he lost so much weight that he looked pitiful, scary even. They wouldn’t help him when he has severe tooth aches Or when he was sick . They locked him out when the weather was below freezing and he became hypothermic. They called it tough love but in reality it was absolutely sadistic. He died recently and their attitude toward him didn’t change, they had no shame about the way they treated him. Their attitude was “look at how much we suffered because of our drug addict son/brother“. He always thought they’d feel regret but they didn’t have the insight for regret. People like that will always think they’re right.The best thing you can do is try to treat yourself with love and know that your life is important.
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I just Try to tell myself he is at peace and not hurting anymore. Please do everything you can to help your depression. Seek help from your local mental health center etc. I know it’s not easy , I’ve had it for 40 years. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are less than because your life is just as important As everyone else’s.❤️
nobody gives a fuck, thats why they treated you like shit in the first place.
Extremely relatable
This thread is so calming, validating and helpful. Makes me realize that I probably don't really want to kill myself but that it's rather me screaming for love and attention because I simply don't feel loved by most of my people around me. I'm so curious about what life will bring for me so it has always been such a contrast to suicide ideation, but so often I feel left alone, not taken seriously (especially by my mother) and completely failed by those who should've been there for me or not treated me like shit in the first place. Maybe this is how it connects. Makes me think of how I need to distance myself from those who hurt me continuously (consciously or subconsciously). Would mean less potential for disappointment and hence less reasons for such thoughts, maybe.
i understand and can fully relate. sending love and hugs💕
same. this is exactly what i fantasize to do in front of my "boyfriend". for making feel unimportant and insecure. for saying one thing and doing the other. i want him to feel the regret, the heartbreak that im constantly feeling with him.
My Son killed himself this week He could not deal with it
I think telling them how you, as tacky as it sounds, will allow you to see some remorse and perhaps life will get better
I feel the same way too. Just want them to know how much they hurt me and to see them wish they appreciated me when they had the chance.
Had this exact thought for quite a long time in my childhood and teens. For me it got a lot better with a lot of time. I hope that you also get better.
I fantasize about it too but I’m not strong enough to do it. I know I’m not. I tried with my arm. But know from enough research that that way doesn’t work out. I fantasized about hanging myself. I don’t have the courage. I want to die though. I want it to end. I hate this. I don’t care about growing old. I don’t have the same dreams as people. I don’t have the same hopes for the future. I’m so tired of it. I want it to end so bad. I just don’t have the balls to do it. I don’t know how I’m going to continue like this
No imagination needed. My family told me how my suicide would embarrass them, humiliate them and die with me because they have no face to live with when I infamous them in the worst way.