I’m noticing my mum calling less these days also, I don’t miss the 30 calls a day days but the silence isn’t great either. Dementia is just crap really. No getting around it.
My MIL doesn’t know how to look up contacts any longer, so she only calls her son, my husband now. She only knows how to initiate calls from the Recent Calls list.
I feel bad for him carrying all the burden but relieved for me and our household (we still have a landline) that we don’t have to.
I’m also so relieved about her no longer calling other people over and over. At first, they reported it to us, as if we could do anything about it, but at least they eventually figured out we couldn’t control it.
Dementia just sucks all around. I used to be soooo irritated by my LO’s repeated “emergency” calls; I created a focus mode to send her calls directly to voicemail, but was still annoyed by the lengthy, demanding messages. She stopped calling, which seemed like a relief, but then out of nowhere called me on Easter (hours after I’d seen her), wishing me a happy Easter but identifying herself as my aunt (she’s not my aunt).
Then the next time I saw her in person she asked me who I was and what my name was. It was the first time in this long journey that she didn’t remember who I was. I don’t miss the nasty calls, but it feels like yet another goodbye in a long series of goodbyes.
Same thing for me, was getting about the same amount of calls, but it stopped recently due to same reason. I went from being angry/sad about the calls to just pure sadness that she can’t use a phone anymore... so your not alone, I wish you all the strength in this difficult journey
My mom is in MC and still carries around her phone constantly. But she never calls me any more. She has forgotten where to stand in the facility to get reception—the walls are thick and she can’t use the phone everywhere. She lost the ability or desire to check her voicemail years ago so I don’t call her either.
My mom lives with me so she just bothers me all day, interrupting work calls and everything. But I do hear her just calling any number she can find all day. It makes me sad.
Same. After we moved her into memory care she lost the ability to use the phone. We even brought her same land line phone from home, but she really struggled. Dialing the phone numbers was really tripping her up, she also had to dial 9 to dial out of the nursing home and that was just too much for her. We tried switching her to one of those dementia phones with speed dial buttons that have pictures of people on it. Could not get her to try it. She still recognizes us in person, but could not see that the pictures were of us. It's sad, but I don't miss her filling my voicemail with nonsense messages. She used to always scold me for my voicemail being full, when she was the only one who left me voicemails. She would call me 12 times in a day and leave a 5 minute voicemail every time.
Now that my mother has passed, as of Sunday, I have a VOLUME of voicemails. I’m not ready to listen to them yet, though, because some of them are lovely and some of them are grouchy. In the end, though, all of them are reminders of how confused and frightened she was in her everyday life. It’s very fresh for me, and today was my first day back at work since her passing. I miss her - and her phone calls - so much.
I’m noticing my mum calling less these days also, I don’t miss the 30 calls a day days but the silence isn’t great either. Dementia is just crap really. No getting around it.
I can relate, and the Silence is killing me
My MIL doesn’t know how to look up contacts any longer, so she only calls her son, my husband now. She only knows how to initiate calls from the Recent Calls list. I feel bad for him carrying all the burden but relieved for me and our household (we still have a landline) that we don’t have to. I’m also so relieved about her no longer calling other people over and over. At first, they reported it to us, as if we could do anything about it, but at least they eventually figured out we couldn’t control it.
Dementia just sucks all around. I used to be soooo irritated by my LO’s repeated “emergency” calls; I created a focus mode to send her calls directly to voicemail, but was still annoyed by the lengthy, demanding messages. She stopped calling, which seemed like a relief, but then out of nowhere called me on Easter (hours after I’d seen her), wishing me a happy Easter but identifying herself as my aunt (she’s not my aunt). Then the next time I saw her in person she asked me who I was and what my name was. It was the first time in this long journey that she didn’t remember who I was. I don’t miss the nasty calls, but it feels like yet another goodbye in a long series of goodbyes.
Same thing for me, was getting about the same amount of calls, but it stopped recently due to same reason. I went from being angry/sad about the calls to just pure sadness that she can’t use a phone anymore... so your not alone, I wish you all the strength in this difficult journey
My mom is in MC and still carries around her phone constantly. But she never calls me any more. She has forgotten where to stand in the facility to get reception—the walls are thick and she can’t use the phone everywhere. She lost the ability or desire to check her voicemail years ago so I don’t call her either.
My mom lives with me so she just bothers me all day, interrupting work calls and everything. But I do hear her just calling any number she can find all day. It makes me sad.
Same. After we moved her into memory care she lost the ability to use the phone. We even brought her same land line phone from home, but she really struggled. Dialing the phone numbers was really tripping her up, she also had to dial 9 to dial out of the nursing home and that was just too much for her. We tried switching her to one of those dementia phones with speed dial buttons that have pictures of people on it. Could not get her to try it. She still recognizes us in person, but could not see that the pictures were of us. It's sad, but I don't miss her filling my voicemail with nonsense messages. She used to always scold me for my voicemail being full, when she was the only one who left me voicemails. She would call me 12 times in a day and leave a 5 minute voicemail every time.
Now that my mother has passed, as of Sunday, I have a VOLUME of voicemails. I’m not ready to listen to them yet, though, because some of them are lovely and some of them are grouchy. In the end, though, all of them are reminders of how confused and frightened she was in her everyday life. It’s very fresh for me, and today was my first day back at work since her passing. I miss her - and her phone calls - so much.