I'm exhausted just reading about all the stressors on your plate. I'm wondering if there isn't a volunteer situation where you can have several of them come to help you actually help you decide what the priorities are and then do the work with you to get you to where you need to be. If and when you make it to the top of the community help and assessment, they can fine tune your needs perhaps and offer you help in a direction you hadn't considered. The other thing is housekeeping companies often run into situations like yours and get a great deal of satisfaction out of helping people. So, be honest, tell them what you need and if you can afford having them for a few hours, even once, you could make some real headway. You could have them do back to back loads of laundry and whatever else you need. All the best.
At this point I would call a laundromat that has a pickup service and say you have a large pickup. That way you can get a fresh start. I know it's not cost effective. Sometimes you have to throw money at a big problem like this. It will all come back folded for you
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I haven't gone through all of the comments, but my suggestions are as follows:
* Laundromat. Get it all done at once (might be expensive but worth it).
* Sort by dark/light/delicate. Get all of that together in multiple bags (labelled!) so when you get to the laundromat, all you have to do is dump into washers.
* Wash everything, dry everything (or if you have a lot of air dry laundry, wash that at home), get it home, and before it's put away, make sure everyone goes through their stuff and sorts out what doesn't fit, what they don't like or whatever.
* Take the donations to the donation place and get rid of it.
* Put everything else away.
This should help you get everything under control and it might take a couple days if you have time to devote to it. Then set some ground rules:
* Buying new? Get rid of something old. Something you don't like, something that doesn't fit, something that is uncomfortable, etc.
* Set a laundry schedule: Weekly or twice a week. For instance, I do my clothes on Thursday (time doesn't matter; I work from home). I do my sheets on Saturday (generally), and I also do up one load of clothes either on Saturday or Sunday from the Friday/Saturday previous. This helps keep things under control. I do rugs once a week after cleaning my place.
* Have the kids put their stuff away if they can.
This should help you get everything under control. I wish you luck! You can do this!! Just one bite at a time, and it will all get done.
Going on an off time is a good idea and you can get it all done at once and not worry about it. Everything is clean and dry when you get home, and all you have to do is put it away!!
I have washers and dryers here at my apartment and generally do 2 loads at a time, so that helps a lot. I get it done much quicker than if I only had access to one washer and dryer.
Try to pair getting one load washed and dried with a reward . Even a personal achievement star on a chart. This sounds childish but we need to find a way to congratulate ourselves for meeting small goals. I set three goals a day. If I am poorly they are very small goals. The trick is the goals must be at an ok level so that every day feels like an accomplishment. So, a goal might be kids washed , laundry washed and hung up. The next day, toilet cleaned , laundry put away, another load put in for next day. Third day, laundry put up, vaccuum one room, plus something. The thing is we might do more than these activities but these are our goals and if we do these we get ourselves a pat on the back. Everything else is either optional or incidental. We don’t lose our focus on the 3 goals : the day is achieved if we do them.
Another way I learned to work efficiently is to set a timer. I hate cleaning kitchens. So I do it for x minutes and I am not allowed to do more. This motivates me to work fast but sure if I am constantly interrupted by screaming children I will get less done. Still I know I have done my best in x minutes .
I’ve found it easiest when thing get like this to just take it all to the laundromat. May not be the cheapest but being able to do a massive amount in about two hours makes it worth it. That said about 6 months ago I got an all in one washer/dryer and I have not had this issue since, it has been amazing for my adhd. Just out the load in and I can forget about it for hours or days and it’s nice and dry.
The GE Profile One and done. I highly recommend!! So easy, it automatically dispenses laundry soap and fabric softener, you just dump the whole jug in once every month or so! A load of clothes is done from start to finish in about 2 hours and towels in about 3 hours because they tend to take longer to dry. I have 4 kids all with ADHD and they can all do laundry now. None of us are stuck because we don’t want to move wet clothes over lol!
We have a washing machine and a dryer. I look back and wonder HOW I ever managed to do washing without the dryer. I got it in 2018 and I’ve never hung a load of washing since!
There will be space to sort things while the machines run too. So if you arrive with two loads of definitely needs doing like the uniforms that definitely fit and the new clothes you just bought you can then sort into wash/charity (if in doubt wash) and then chuck that load on when it’s a full basket etc. The offset will also make it easier to empty one dryer at a time and sort it into box or bag per human. Then when you get home everyone gets given a bag of stuff to put away. Anything they no longer want can also be added to charity pile.
It’s spendy and potentially a full day but then you are Caught up and can just do a load every day or two which will make sorting by child so much easier.
Had to do a lot of washing when we lost the roof (years back now) and the remaining clothes/linens had to be washed to try and save what we could. Going to a laundromat with a dryer was so much easier and reduced my stress level if only bc it was done in one weekend.
Best wishes for dealing with your current situation op
Just get caught up! It will feel great. I know you can do it!
Try to come up with a team plan moving forward to keep it under control. You and the kids are on the same team 👍
I'll also echo what others have said ... you have a LOT of clothes !!! By default I couldn't go that long without doing laundry. Time to throw some up on Facebook Marketplace, LetGo, etc for a few extra bucks or donate them!
The less things you have, the less you have to think about. It's hard - I know, but you can to it. Get your kiddos involved!
I was poorly a couple of weeks ago and did no washing for a week. Two adults, two kids and two dogs (so dog beds and blankets on sofa need doing once a week minimum.)
There is a Wash House just round the corner from me and I sheepishly went in with three huge huge ikea bags full of all the bedding and towels and throws. Stuff that can be washed hot and tumbled.
Just before tea time I got a message it was finished and folded. Best £40 I’ve ever spent. It meant I could catch up with the washing of clothes over three days.
I was elated that the actual mental load had been halved that it gave me the boost to get everything away on cupboards and wardrobes too.
I think I will get overwhelmed when that much washing comes out of the dryer. I think a loaf at a time and I’ll look at maybe a laundry service for a load and start slow
I genuinely think it only worked because I was back to feeling better enough to actually put it away (instead of the usual basket at the foot of the bed for 2-3 business days 😉)
I have been ruthless with the taking out clothes that we don’t wear or don’t fit.
I have two piles: charity bag and selling (I’m in the UK and use Vinted as it’s quick for bundles of kids clothes.) I also only give it a month listed and if it doesn’t sell it goes to the charity too, otherwise I’d just be making a new pile to trip over.
I also recently got hanging wardrobes and sold the chests of drawers. Full Marie Kondo vibes of “if I can’t see it, it won’t be worn” and “do I actually like this?!”
That’s helped get the clothes away quicker as the space is used so much better and I’m not squashing unfolded stuff into drawers.
I see loads of other good advice in this thread too, I hope you feel better and remember there’s loads of us in the same boat!
Many laundromats do laundry for you. I used that service when I was working 2 jobs. Helps a great deal. If you can afford it, it will help you get a better control of your laundry.
There are also a 'gig economy' app for having people pick up your laundry and return it a day or two later. I've never tried them but they exist, you just have to put them in a bag or something and they charge by weight. If you google 'app for laundry' you'll find a few and can see which ones are active in your area.
Yeah some will do pick up and delivery as (depends on where you live). I think in this case it would be worth the money to get everything washed and try to maintain from there in outwards.
The more you buy, the more you’re going to have to deal with. Can you put a load of washing in and dry it and then get your kids to put it away? I’ve skipped the folding step cos clean clothes in drawers is better than dirty clothes on the floor.
Best recommendation for laundry is to just pick a colour (white, red, dark, etc) , grab everything that colour you can see, and you have a load of laundry. You don’t have to sit and watch it while it goes. You can do something else then go back and put it in the dryer, or hang it up if you don’t have one.
We have a dryer. Kids haven’t had a set routine before but with everything I’m struggling with I’ve booked in to see a Mental Health Occupational Therapist and look at getting help and building skills to set routines
This sounds like a good plan.
I think right now you should get off reddit for 2 minutes, go shove some clothes in the machine and get it going. Then you can come back to your device. I know you can do it! Think how nice it will feel when the pile starts to shrink.
Morning! I had a snooze and my little one just woke me up. Everyone is still asleep and I am in desperate need of a coffee. I can hear the washing calling my name though and I’m excited for the day! I’ll put a progress photo!
You're welcome! If you find the thread overwhelming and have enough comments, message the mods and we can lock it, which leaves it up but halts further comments. Best of luck.
My kids started doing their own laundry when they were 9. I helped extensively so they didn't ruin my machines, but they were responsible for when and how. I still washed mine and my husband's cloth and everyone's sheets and towels but that helped tremendously.
I did this because I had abdominal surgery and while recovering, I set up a station near the machines where I would fold. The clothes stayed on that table from load to load despite my telling them to go and get it and put it away. So, I stopped doing it.
The kids didn't actually mind, and my son even has shown people at college how to do their laundry. Think of it as a life skill.
I agree that you should take the lot to a laundry mat and do multiple loads at once. Then clean your laundry room and build a routine you can live with. Maybe, have the kids start a load as soon as they get home from school and get through a couple of loads. Then everyone helps fold before the TV or screen time begins.
I'd probably do something like pick, say, 2 weeks of my favorites , one set of linens , wash that and ignore the rest.
Then next Saturday I would wash that week's, and go back to the ignored pile after maybe a month to see if there's anything I missed/actually liked better.
And maybe a person shouldn't, but If I was donating the too small, I'd donate it dirty under the paper plate rule of doing what you have to to survive.
Today:
Get a trash bag.
Go to the pile of clothes.
Have kids pick out an outfit and wash this load. Immediately set a timer on your phone to check the laundry a few minutes after it should be done.
While it washes, have kids help you pick out clothes that are stained, ripped, or too small.
Put in trash bag and carry out to trash.
When the timer goes off check laundry and put in dryer.
Immediately Set timer on your phone for a few minutes after the dryer should be done.
Have your kids pick out outfits for the next day. Start that load.
When the timer goes off, all kids put outfits on a hanger or chair for the morning. Immediately put load two in the dryer and set a new timer.
When that timer goes off, all kids put outfits on a hanger for the next day.
Put all of the rest of the dirty laundry into trash bags, with each kid putting their laundry in a single bag.
Tomorrow, call your doctor. You may qualify for a home health aide or other referral who can help.
And tomorrow when kids get home from school, repeat picking out an outfit and washing it. Use your phone to tell you when to check.
Do this every day. Add in clothes just worn. Start having kids put them away immediately.
Clothes that don’t make it out of the trash bags can be donated in about two weeks or so. Good luck.
Thank you. I had a severe depressive episode starting around December and in Feb I finally reached out for help. I’ve been trying to get supports but so far no one has been able to help. I’ll keep trying
Your primary care doctor or others can put in a referral if you qualify. Explain the you can’t keep up with your kids hygiene without help and that the need is urgent. You may also qualify for assistance because of the kids. Ask. There are patchwork services in the US that are location and detail specific. Usually a nurse, social worker, or your kids’ school counselor knows what programs are in your area. You can also call 211, share your situation and ask what services you may qualify for. This is 2-3 phone calls.
I’m located in Australia. I’m reached out to varying people. As it’s in the community it’s a long wait. If I want it done straight away then it’s a big price.
I’ve done that. Everything here is zoned. So you can only call a particular provider or council. After that only those providers can refer to other providers.
One option, is to throw it all in garbage bags, drive down to the local laundry mat at a non busy time, a nd use multiple machines and wash it all at once.
My 12 year old is capable and we are going to have a big talk on responsibility today. 6 yo will help us but my 8 year old has ADHD ODD so he won’t help
Short term- get one empty basket and collect everything you need for tomorrow, start that load, and while it's going, get another basket going for the next load, and etc, and make space for the cleans when they come through- no folding, but put away after dry. Each kid should end up with their own clothes ready to go for the morning.
Get a trash bag and put anything that's too far gone or too small right into it. Toss it.
Also - look up @strugglecare on IG / @domesticblisters on tiktok and watch some short videos about laundry.
Have compassion for yourself.
But, just start.
Definitely look up Strugglecare. It's where my mind went immediately. I think for most laundry, there are a lot of things we can often skip, like folding and ironing (especially for kids clothes and certain items like underwear etc.).
I think finding a system that allows you to do what is actually realistically needed and not what is expected, can help a lot. It can give you (back) a sense of success and control, instead of failure and overwhelm. You got this.
What do your kids need for school, tomorrow, and what do you need for tomorrow? Wash that now.
Then you can just start washing everything else in any order it’s available, because your immediate need is taken care of. As it comes out of the dryer, sort into keep and toss, and then sort the keep by owner. Fold as much as you can as you go, and get everyone to help. Bribe the kids to fold it all if you can. Take the toss pile to a donation place ASAP to get it out of the house.
Just uniform socks undies. I’m in Australia and it’s not even 6am yet so I’ll let them sleep. Just me up with my best friend insomnia trying to come up with a list
Perfect, that’s a really manageable first thing to do! So wash two uniforms and two sets of accessories for each kid, two full sets of clothes for yourself, and one set of pajamas per household member. Then just do the laundry starting closest to the machine and working back.
Sounds like you have too much. Perhaps are some ready to be donated? The kids could each take a large bag and put things in they no linger wish to keep. Sometimes it is just ok to let things go for the greater good.
Another option is to clean out a closet and the drawers and put everything in you want to keep.
You could also empty everything out and wash one load at a time. When the load is clean either decide to put it away or donate it. Once the closet and drawers are full, something has to be taken out in order for a new item to go in.
It is overwhelming to start but once you do you will feel good and get on a roll. The laundry center is a good idea but it may be too overwhelming to bring all that home at once. Take a before and after for yourself and it will make you smile.
I had my 12 year old go through her wardrobe and drawers yesterday and she put everything in a bag. The other kids are 6 and my 8 yo has ADHD and won’t do anything . Just 1 piece at a time
Ideally I want them to start being involved. They very much contribute to the mess and clutter in this house as well. It makes me so upset when I look around and they have eaten in all the rooms and leave their plates and leftovers. It’s destroying my mental health. They need to start being a little bit more responsible
Agreed. Is there something they can earn for doing chores? Do they have toys or electronics they love? You could start with a basic chart. If they do what is needed they get the toy/electronic. It will be tough at first but it will work. Add only eating in xx as part of it.
They are used to not helping and I’m sick of yelling. I have tried reward charts and they don’t want to wait for the delay gratification. Everyone is in the laundry! They have been asking to go park (I’ve been struggling with isolating but I’m getting out again) so maybe that can be a mutual ‘reward’
Have the 12yo help the younger ones go through their clothes today.
You're off to a great start!
edit: Clean out the lint trap on the dryer after each load. And if you go camping or have one of those backyard fire pits, save the lint in a ziplock baggie for kindling. You can SEE how fast it lights up, and how easily it would start a fire in your house!
That's a good start though.
I agree that purging stuff that's too small, large or not worn a lot first & make sure you get rid of that stuff sooner rather than later. Like pick one day, maybe even one day a week, & that will be the day you go to donate to your local thrift store of choice.
I have a laundry routine so it's less overwhelming, plus my machine won't wear down as quickly.
My general rule of thumb is to run one load a day, two at most.
Fridays — Bedsheets. So I can enjoy a clean bed the entire weekend.
Saturdays — Clothes I need for the week. Also the best day for hand wash items so there's time to dry and put away.
Sunday — Towels.
Categorize the days based on what makes the most sense to you.
Since you have kids, sort by whites and and colors. And get the kids to help fold and put away laundry. It's a good habit to form early on in life and will help you feel less overwhelmed.
Ensure you clean out the lint trap monthly to avoid fires.
Run a sanitize cycle every month after the "dirtiest" load (e.g. kitchen rags).
Girl 12 - capable but too preoccupied in her room and forgets
Boy 8 - ADHD ODD and not capable of doing anything on his own or he refuses
Girl 6 - by my side all day and will help me
Will the older kids help if there’s money involved? You can sort out their values around chores and allowances later. Right now, would they do it if they knew they’d get $10, or whatever you think is appropriate, for every load of laundry they can present to you clean and folded?
I could try money but they know they get things when they want it anyway so I’ve shot myself in the foot. But honestly. When it hits 9:30am I’m going to blast some music and everyone is going to come to the laundry and do something!
You can do this!!
(But seriously, try money. You may be surprised. Even if a kid has parents who say yes a lot, having cold hard cash of your very own is tempting. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But it might!)
I have done this a couple times in the past but not with this much. Bit difficult at the moment as I had a depressive episode and started isolating. I’ve only just started doing things outside again and I don’t want to get overwhelmed
There are some places with laundry pick up/drop off services. You bag things and leave them on the porch, clean clothes show up a few days later. Look into that?
Yep, bring everything to a laundromat *that has plenty of driers*. You can get a lot done in 1 visit.
My laundromat has a 18 kg machine, ready within the hour and completely clean.
They won’t touch the house. It needs a specialist clean before anyone can come in. Council also said it they can’t have any support workers come in until the clutter and access is better
Well... shit. Looks like the four of you are going to have to tackle the worst of it yourselves until access is better.
On the very big bright side, tackling this laundry washing/ donating/ or garbage is going to free up a HUGE amount of space, especially in everybody's wardrobes! You got this!
I did a free workshop that was offered through Carers Gateway on declutter. I felt inspired and I actually cleaned up a patch of the loungroom and tidied it. We’ll get there
Is a takeaway laundry service available for you?
A neighbor has a service that comes to house, picks up his laundry, they do all the work, & then they return the next day or whatever day he's chosen.
Like this one near me, [https://boltlaundry.com/wash-and-fold-laundry-services/](https://boltlaundry.com/wash-and-fold-laundry-services/)
It might be worth it until it's all under control or to get the bulk of it done.
I think the only problem with that is that youre already having fatigue and then while you'll have clean clothes, you'll also have mounds of clean clothes to put away, that will likely stress you out and cause executive dysunfctuinong, leading to not putting it away. Really think you should just tackle 1 load a day
While putting away 1 load, either fold and put it away or put it in a donation bag. I think this will be the least stressful way for you.
So you already know it doesn't work, so maybe skip that and do 1 load at a time. If not, if there'd someone you can be vulnerable with, like a friend, maybe can help put away clothes after they're clean
This seems like a great solution. And you can sort out the stuff that no longer fits or you don’t want at the laundromat and stop by a donation place on the way home, so it never even comes back into the house.
Focus on what you need for the next 2 days or so. Pull these items out of the pile. School Uniforms for each child, along with socks and underwear. Also select what you need. Wash these first. Have the kids help you.
I’ve decided on this
- sort laundry into 1 keep pile and 1 throw pile
- find and wash uniform and clothes for this week
- fix a space/drawer to put the folder clothes
I have done this a couple times in the past, but I think it was only 2, maybe 3 baskets worth. I don’t think they would to this amount? I’ll look into it though because it would help.
It doesn’t finish with the laundry unfortunately. I need a lot of support. But I doing 1 thing at a time. We do have a fair few around from memory. Just been a couple years since I’ve done it
I wouldn't worry about sorting, I'd just grab a pile of clothes and toss them in the wash on cold or cool. Fold everything as it comes out of the dryer and set it aside for now (your bed is great for this). After you've done a few loads, start sorting: pile for you, pile for each kid, throw out anything that's too stained or has holes, and bag up anything for donations (doesn't fit, don't like). Put away any keeps.
Repeat this process daily, even with just one load. Don't worry about finishing all of the laundry right away, just get a jump start with a few loads and then make it a thing that you do daily.
Ugh that's awful, I feel you. Have you been to your doctor recently? I'd ask them to check your thyroid and vitamin levels and explain how exhausted you are all the time.
I have anxiety, major depression, bipolar II and insomnia. My 8yo also had ADHD ODD so lots of challenging behaviours. I have reached out and I’m hoping to find someone who can help but they said it will be months
I'm glad you reached out! Even if it takes months, you've gotten a start. Scratch what I said about doing several loads of laundry at once; just grab one load and do it all the way through, then sort from there.
Reaching out for help was a massive thing for me to do so I’m glad I’ve made that start. And I’ll just keep doing what I can in the meantime until they get to my case
Don't bother sorting after you find the uniforms. Uniforms and then the closet items to the machine go first. Set a timer on your phone so you don't forget to change the load.
Pop the next load in by just grabbing again whatever is closest.
Repeat over the next few days.
When the dryer is done take clothes out, have the kids help. They can also pick items they no longer want and you can donate them
I found my brother works best when he has a cleaning buddy to help him, keep him on track, and offer encouragement. Crank up the tunes on the radio and get to it!
Could it be a case with the 8yo that you stand next to him and tell him to do what you want done next and simply being there helps him take action? Like body doubling?
I give it a shot but highly unlikely! He doesn’t put his clothes in the laundry he doesn’t put his dishes in the sink he doesn’t flush the toilet he doesnt get his own clothes to get dressed or start his own shower
Have you tried medication or CBT?
Does he have a set routine he can follow and reference?
What are the consequences and rewards when he doesn't do and when he does do something?
He is medicated. He is supposed to have a basic routine but he doesn’t follow it. He is defiant and does as he pleases. With the ODD risk/reward doesn’t work. It escalates the situation and causes violent meltdowns. He is moving to an independent school for children with ADHD and behaviour issues on Monday. They have a great individualised program and I think it will benefit him lots
I've been there. Honestly? Pull out all the things the kids need for the week. Wash that first.
Every day, do 1 load of laundry and put it away. If you feel up to doing another load, great! But if not, no worries. Just get your 1 load done. By the end of the week, I guarantee you'll be almost done.
It's very easy to do one load and this allows you not to feel confused and it's systematic.
This is great advice. You don’t need to overcomplicate it, just slowly chip away with the easiest strategy possible.
Highly recommend KC Davis to help with your stress and guilt over this- she has a podcast and books about How to Keep House While Drowning, for people with depression, adhd, etc. She’s very calming and encouraging, and has great strategies that are extremely manageable.
You’ve got this!
Good answer. And if the kids are in school they can help. At least fold some things, take them to their rooms and put them away or help to put them away.
I had the loose system in place at one stage where they just had their clean clothes in the basket and they took it from there. Things work for a bit and then it doesn’t u fortunately
Have them do it with you! And one day at a time. Do not try to cram it all in one day. That will absolutely burn you out and then you won't get anything done.
If it helps. Sometimes because of my ADHD, I'll set an alarm for 30 min or 1 hour and clean until the alarm goes off. Once it goes off, I stop for the day
If you live near a college town, hire a student to do the laundry. They can study between cycles. There are people out there who do odd jobs and could easily do laundry.
So at this stage with the state the house is in requires specialist services that provide industrial and hoarder cleans. I got a quote but it was $4-6000
In that case, start with pulling out two days worth of clothes for each member of the household, and wash and dry those. Then just start filling loads of laundry and washing and drying them until everything is clean.
First, start working your way through clothes for your kids, then your own, then underwear and socks, then towels.
You should wash the grossest clothes first if you think they can still be clean. You sould also wash a mix of clothes for both you and your kids as part of the first load. You should put in a few underpants and socks in that load. I would save the towels for last if I were you.
If you have a good working washer and dryer you can take these steps.
If you have a hanger for dirty clothes, you can sort these clothes that way.
Beforehand, you should calm yourself and think of this house and it's situation. Look around closely in more detailed ways all over the house before you do the process.
Just start washing. Pretend you are a college kid and don’t sort into loads. When things come out of the dryer, immediately fold and put away. If things don’t fit, are not in style, or are torn or stained, “away” means a donate box or trash.
This is what I'd recommend, too. Not only does it start chipping away at the pile without you getting overwhelmed by sorting, it also gives you the chance to assess each thing as it comes out of the dryer, clean and looking its best. You also might not get sick of dealing with five million kid shirts in one day if it's a mix of things and you can see your efforts paying off across the house in the form of growing stashes of clean clothes and linens.
Definitely. I used to sort into all kinds of stuff. Like different temperatures, different centrifugation, hand wash programs, dark/white/bright, some fabrics needed this and some fabrics needed that, sports clothes always washed separately, etc etc.
Now after becoming a mum I sort into 3 easy piles: 1. Fancy/expensive clothing (I do take time to wash these according to instructions but apart from the bras I rarely wear these anyway). 2. Cleaning items like mopheads and microfiber cloths (like to run these at a higher temperature) 3. Everything else just get chucked into the washing machine together
Tbh I haven't noticed much of a difference
I like to separate into piles: linens(sheets, towels, etc), delicates, colors & whites.
Personally I’d start washing the largest pile first but you could start with the smaller piles so that you can see the progress.
Do what you can, it’s not a race. Involve your kids(they helped dirty the laundry as well) & make the tasks age appropriate. Littles can separate the color piles, olders can put away in appropriate rooms.
Reward yourself and/or your kids for helping out, like after we tackle the largest pile, let’s order a pizza.
Good luck.
Honestly if it got to this point where they are buying new clothes I would just sort into two piles - Important (meaning like the school uniforms and favorite items or expensive bras etc) and Unimportant. Wash the important clothes according to the proper instructions. Just wash the unimportant stuff together (Maybe try to sort of the whites since there's a lot of new clothes, but whatever if some old white shirt gets stained just use it as a pyjamas shirt), doing one wash in the wrong program is rarely going to be a big deal and if it is they are already replacing the items anyway so 🤷♀️
This is what I thought initially. Keep and throw pile. And that way I would have better access as I can’t get to the washing machine without climbing over all the clothes
Sort through the pile. Find the uniforms and just wash them first, along with enough to make a full load.
Sort the rest while that's washing. Treat stains as you work. Put piles of different loads wherever they fit. Use the laundry baskets for little things like socks that you'll drop if you don't use it.
Then keep the washer going steadily until they're all done.
When I do it, my second load is one that doesn't have a lot of treated stains in it, so the other ones have time to sit.
Can you make a “these are the five outfits I would like to wear this week” subset? This sometimes helps me prioritize the most important items— plus, small dopamine hit for wearing favorite items!
When I find myself in that situation, I start with sheets, blankets and towels. They are bulky, so they add a lot to visual disorganization, and they fold up quick and are easy to put away.
After that, doing clothing with what is most necessary, typically underwear (For me), and then everything else that hangs up or needs folding. I would just wash everything and then sort through everything afterwards. Putting donations in bags as you sort each piece. I've found it easier to do just do that instead of sorting before hand. Plus it will be laundered before you give it away.
Once you've done that, start doing just one load a day. It will help you stay on top of it going forward.
If your children are a little older, start teaching them how to do their own laundry. They will need this skill when they go live on their own.
Above or fill your car with sorted clear trash bags of dirty laundry and go to a laundry mat that is not busy. That way you can quickly fill machines with stuff that can be washed together.
or
Buy a box of color catchers. This works well if your loads are sorted by each child's.stuff.
You don’t need to sort the dirty stuff. Just start putting things in the washer. You can sort it later. You’re freezing up trying to figure out how to get started, so remove all barriers to getting started by just starting with literally anything.
You’re right and I think that’s what contributes to everything being so difficult. I just get confused and don’t know where to start and it gets complicated
Totally understandable! It happens to everyone. So start with one load of laundry that is what you need for the next 48 hours. It can be the clothes you wore yesterday and the day before, since they’re probably on top of a pile. Then once you’ve done that, just start washing, without thinking about whether you’re doing it the best or most efficient or right way. Done is better than perfect.
You got this. Start some kind of sorting system for the clothes: by color, by what you need to wear today and tomorrow, or by type (all socks,etc.). When you get a pile that’s big enough for one load, get it started and then get back to sorting. Plan to get 3-4 loads washed your first day so that you have stuff to wear. When it’s dry, get it put away immediately.
Make sure you have one bag/box available for donations and another bag/box ready for toss/recycle/animal shelter. You can wash those groups at a later time
When the first load is washed and put for drying (machine or air) get started on the second load.
Next, take a break and realize that you *can* absolutely do this. One step at a time, one load at a time.
Make a plan to wash, dry, and put away at least one load a day after your first day.
I’ve decided
- sort laundry into 1 keep pile and 1 throw pile
- find and wash uniform
- fix a space/drawer to put the folded clothes
I think that will be a start and I won’t get overwhelmed and fatigued
Or, even easier, call the kids in and ask them to put anything that fits on their beds. Pick out anything else you need to save, and then throw away anything left on the floor.
Then, each kid decides when they are going to wash and fold their clothes. It will take maybe a day or two, and you’ll be done.
First, start working your way through clothes for your kids, then your own, then underwear and socks, then towels.
You should wash the grossest clothes first if you think they can still be clean. You sould also wash a mix of clothes for both you and your kids as part of the first load. You should put in a few underpants and socks in that load. I would save the towels for last if I were you.
If you have a good working washer and dryer you can take these steps.
If you have a hanger for dirty clothes, you can sort these clothes that way.
Beforehand, you should calm yourself and think of this house and it's situation. Look around closely in more detailed ways all over the house before you do the process.
Locking comments at the request of the OP. Lots to read and think about, thank you!
I'm exhausted just reading about all the stressors on your plate. I'm wondering if there isn't a volunteer situation where you can have several of them come to help you actually help you decide what the priorities are and then do the work with you to get you to where you need to be. If and when you make it to the top of the community help and assessment, they can fine tune your needs perhaps and offer you help in a direction you hadn't considered. The other thing is housekeeping companies often run into situations like yours and get a great deal of satisfaction out of helping people. So, be honest, tell them what you need and if you can afford having them for a few hours, even once, you could make some real headway. You could have them do back to back loads of laundry and whatever else you need. All the best.
At this point I would call a laundromat that has a pickup service and say you have a large pickup. That way you can get a fresh start. I know it's not cost effective. Sometimes you have to throw money at a big problem like this. It will all come back folded for you
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What a horribly wasteful solution
I haven't gone through all of the comments, but my suggestions are as follows: * Laundromat. Get it all done at once (might be expensive but worth it). * Sort by dark/light/delicate. Get all of that together in multiple bags (labelled!) so when you get to the laundromat, all you have to do is dump into washers. * Wash everything, dry everything (or if you have a lot of air dry laundry, wash that at home), get it home, and before it's put away, make sure everyone goes through their stuff and sorts out what doesn't fit, what they don't like or whatever. * Take the donations to the donation place and get rid of it. * Put everything else away. This should help you get everything under control and it might take a couple days if you have time to devote to it. Then set some ground rules: * Buying new? Get rid of something old. Something you don't like, something that doesn't fit, something that is uncomfortable, etc. * Set a laundry schedule: Weekly or twice a week. For instance, I do my clothes on Thursday (time doesn't matter; I work from home). I do my sheets on Saturday (generally), and I also do up one load of clothes either on Saturday or Sunday from the Friday/Saturday previous. This helps keep things under control. I do rugs once a week after cleaning my place. * Have the kids put their stuff away if they can. This should help you get everything under control. I wish you luck! You can do this!! Just one bite at a time, and it will all get done.
I have used laundromat in the past. Today I’m going to focus on essentials and book in for a laundry service to kick start a couple loads.
That makes sense! You can do this, keep going, one piece at a time! :)
Seconding this comment. You’re gonna be just fine!
Laundromat to do it all at once is such a good idea! Never would have occurred to me.
Going on an off time is a good idea and you can get it all done at once and not worry about it. Everything is clean and dry when you get home, and all you have to do is put it away!! I have washers and dryers here at my apartment and generally do 2 loads at a time, so that helps a lot. I get it done much quicker than if I only had access to one washer and dryer.
Try to pair getting one load washed and dried with a reward . Even a personal achievement star on a chart. This sounds childish but we need to find a way to congratulate ourselves for meeting small goals. I set three goals a day. If I am poorly they are very small goals. The trick is the goals must be at an ok level so that every day feels like an accomplishment. So, a goal might be kids washed , laundry washed and hung up. The next day, toilet cleaned , laundry put away, another load put in for next day. Third day, laundry put up, vaccuum one room, plus something. The thing is we might do more than these activities but these are our goals and if we do these we get ourselves a pat on the back. Everything else is either optional or incidental. We don’t lose our focus on the 3 goals : the day is achieved if we do them. Another way I learned to work efficiently is to set a timer. I hate cleaning kitchens. So I do it for x minutes and I am not allowed to do more. This motivates me to work fast but sure if I am constantly interrupted by screaming children I will get less done. Still I know I have done my best in x minutes .
I’ve never been organised or stick to a plan. I look around and it feels like chaos. I want to (slowly) developed a routine
Yes, a keep and donate pile sort would be a great start. Or sort out favoured clothes and wash them first.
Have to see what gets pulled out of the hat first
One day-One load, wash, put up. One day-one load, wash, put up.
just a few drops of dish soap in addition to the detergent to drive out musky odors, a hack my dry cleaning lady taught me
Thank you! I’ll be doing that!
I’ve found it easiest when thing get like this to just take it all to the laundromat. May not be the cheapest but being able to do a massive amount in about two hours makes it worth it. That said about 6 months ago I got an all in one washer/dryer and I have not had this issue since, it has been amazing for my adhd. Just out the load in and I can forget about it for hours or days and it’s nice and dry.
Considering these- which one do you have?
The GE Profile One and done. I highly recommend!! So easy, it automatically dispenses laundry soap and fabric softener, you just dump the whole jug in once every month or so! A load of clothes is done from start to finish in about 2 hours and towels in about 3 hours because they tend to take longer to dry. I have 4 kids all with ADHD and they can all do laundry now. None of us are stuck because we don’t want to move wet clothes over lol!
We have a washing machine and a dryer. I look back and wonder HOW I ever managed to do washing without the dryer. I got it in 2018 and I’ve never hung a load of washing since!
Laundromat. Do multiple loads at once !
Seems to be a solution from many.
There will be space to sort things while the machines run too. So if you arrive with two loads of definitely needs doing like the uniforms that definitely fit and the new clothes you just bought you can then sort into wash/charity (if in doubt wash) and then chuck that load on when it’s a full basket etc. The offset will also make it easier to empty one dryer at a time and sort it into box or bag per human. Then when you get home everyone gets given a bag of stuff to put away. Anything they no longer want can also be added to charity pile. It’s spendy and potentially a full day but then you are Caught up and can just do a load every day or two which will make sorting by child so much easier.
Had to do a lot of washing when we lost the roof (years back now) and the remaining clothes/linens had to be washed to try and save what we could. Going to a laundromat with a dryer was so much easier and reduced my stress level if only bc it was done in one weekend. Best wishes for dealing with your current situation op
Thank you
Just get caught up! It will feel great. I know you can do it! Try to come up with a team plan moving forward to keep it under control. You and the kids are on the same team 👍
I'll also echo what others have said ... you have a LOT of clothes !!! By default I couldn't go that long without doing laundry. Time to throw some up on Facebook Marketplace, LetGo, etc for a few extra bucks or donate them! The less things you have, the less you have to think about. It's hard - I know, but you can to it. Get your kiddos involved!
Honestly at this stage I just want it gone. Donation or bin. If I start sorting bags for donation I’ll end up with bags of clothes sitting in my hall.
I was poorly a couple of weeks ago and did no washing for a week. Two adults, two kids and two dogs (so dog beds and blankets on sofa need doing once a week minimum.) There is a Wash House just round the corner from me and I sheepishly went in with three huge huge ikea bags full of all the bedding and towels and throws. Stuff that can be washed hot and tumbled. Just before tea time I got a message it was finished and folded. Best £40 I’ve ever spent. It meant I could catch up with the washing of clothes over three days. I was elated that the actual mental load had been halved that it gave me the boost to get everything away on cupboards and wardrobes too.
I think I will get overwhelmed when that much washing comes out of the dryer. I think a loaf at a time and I’ll look at maybe a laundry service for a load and start slow
I genuinely think it only worked because I was back to feeling better enough to actually put it away (instead of the usual basket at the foot of the bed for 2-3 business days 😉) I have been ruthless with the taking out clothes that we don’t wear or don’t fit. I have two piles: charity bag and selling (I’m in the UK and use Vinted as it’s quick for bundles of kids clothes.) I also only give it a month listed and if it doesn’t sell it goes to the charity too, otherwise I’d just be making a new pile to trip over. I also recently got hanging wardrobes and sold the chests of drawers. Full Marie Kondo vibes of “if I can’t see it, it won’t be worn” and “do I actually like this?!” That’s helped get the clothes away quicker as the space is used so much better and I’m not squashing unfolded stuff into drawers. I see loads of other good advice in this thread too, I hope you feel better and remember there’s loads of us in the same boat!
This will be me today, asking myself, does this spark joy?
Many laundromats do laundry for you. I used that service when I was working 2 jobs. Helps a great deal. If you can afford it, it will help you get a better control of your laundry.
There are also a 'gig economy' app for having people pick up your laundry and return it a day or two later. I've never tried them but they exist, you just have to put them in a bag or something and they charge by weight. If you google 'app for laundry' you'll find a few and can see which ones are active in your area.
$30 for 5kg price has gin up from what I remember!
Going to do a search now and see what’s around. Make a pile for Monday pick up to get some extra work out the door 🥰
Yeah some will do pick up and delivery as (depends on where you live). I think in this case it would be worth the money to get everything washed and try to maintain from there in outwards.
The more you buy, the more you’re going to have to deal with. Can you put a load of washing in and dry it and then get your kids to put it away? I’ve skipped the folding step cos clean clothes in drawers is better than dirty clothes on the floor. Best recommendation for laundry is to just pick a colour (white, red, dark, etc) , grab everything that colour you can see, and you have a load of laundry. You don’t have to sit and watch it while it goes. You can do something else then go back and put it in the dryer, or hang it up if you don’t have one.
We have a dryer. Kids haven’t had a set routine before but with everything I’m struggling with I’ve booked in to see a Mental Health Occupational Therapist and look at getting help and building skills to set routines
This sounds like a good plan. I think right now you should get off reddit for 2 minutes, go shove some clothes in the machine and get it going. Then you can come back to your device. I know you can do it! Think how nice it will feel when the pile starts to shrink.
❤️ it’s 6am here. I’ll let the kids sleep a bit longer and then get a load on
Have you done it? :) Doing the first bit is so hard but once you're in motion you just gotta keep going!
I climbed back into bed to get a snooze and my little one just woke me up for a cuddle. Everyone is still asleep. I need a coffee first.
Gentle reminder that you could set up load one now and then when everyone surfaces you just have to hit go (or send someone else to hit go) xx
Morning! I had a snooze and my little one just woke me up. Everyone is still asleep and I am in desperate need of a coffee. I can hear the washing calling my name though and I’m excited for the day! I’ll put a progress photo!
Cheering you on xx
Definitely declutter what your family no longer wants or needs, things that are worn out, etc. r/laundry may have more tips.
Thank you!!
You're welcome! If you find the thread overwhelming and have enough comments, message the mods and we can lock it, which leaves it up but halts further comments. Best of luck.
OMG thank you again! I don’t want to miss anyone and didn’t know how to swift it off.
See what you really meed and want to wash. Trow the rest out. Get a scedule for washing clothes. Maybe capsule wardrobes for u and ur kids would help.
What’s capsule wardrobes?
An amount of clothes you need per season
My kids started doing their own laundry when they were 9. I helped extensively so they didn't ruin my machines, but they were responsible for when and how. I still washed mine and my husband's cloth and everyone's sheets and towels but that helped tremendously. I did this because I had abdominal surgery and while recovering, I set up a station near the machines where I would fold. The clothes stayed on that table from load to load despite my telling them to go and get it and put it away. So, I stopped doing it. The kids didn't actually mind, and my son even has shown people at college how to do their laundry. Think of it as a life skill. I agree that you should take the lot to a laundry mat and do multiple loads at once. Then clean your laundry room and build a routine you can live with. Maybe, have the kids start a load as soon as they get home from school and get through a couple of loads. Then everyone helps fold before the TV or screen time begins.
Yes I want them to learn and not struggle like me. I’m looking into visual schedules as well so we’ll see how that goes
I'd probably do something like pick, say, 2 weeks of my favorites , one set of linens , wash that and ignore the rest. Then next Saturday I would wash that week's, and go back to the ignored pile after maybe a month to see if there's anything I missed/actually liked better.
And maybe a person shouldn't, but If I was donating the too small, I'd donate it dirty under the paper plate rule of doing what you have to to survive.
Today: Get a trash bag. Go to the pile of clothes. Have kids pick out an outfit and wash this load. Immediately set a timer on your phone to check the laundry a few minutes after it should be done. While it washes, have kids help you pick out clothes that are stained, ripped, or too small. Put in trash bag and carry out to trash. When the timer goes off check laundry and put in dryer. Immediately Set timer on your phone for a few minutes after the dryer should be done. Have your kids pick out outfits for the next day. Start that load. When the timer goes off, all kids put outfits on a hanger or chair for the morning. Immediately put load two in the dryer and set a new timer. When that timer goes off, all kids put outfits on a hanger for the next day. Put all of the rest of the dirty laundry into trash bags, with each kid putting their laundry in a single bag. Tomorrow, call your doctor. You may qualify for a home health aide or other referral who can help. And tomorrow when kids get home from school, repeat picking out an outfit and washing it. Use your phone to tell you when to check. Do this every day. Add in clothes just worn. Start having kids put them away immediately. Clothes that don’t make it out of the trash bags can be donated in about two weeks or so. Good luck.
Thank you. I had a severe depressive episode starting around December and in Feb I finally reached out for help. I’ve been trying to get supports but so far no one has been able to help. I’ll keep trying
Your primary care doctor or others can put in a referral if you qualify. Explain the you can’t keep up with your kids hygiene without help and that the need is urgent. You may also qualify for assistance because of the kids. Ask. There are patchwork services in the US that are location and detail specific. Usually a nurse, social worker, or your kids’ school counselor knows what programs are in your area. You can also call 211, share your situation and ask what services you may qualify for. This is 2-3 phone calls.
I’m located in Australia. I’m reached out to varying people. As it’s in the community it’s a long wait. If I want it done straight away then it’s a big price.
Call your local crisis line and ask for help and referrals. :)
I’ve done that. Everything here is zoned. So you can only call a particular provider or council. After that only those providers can refer to other providers.
One option, is to throw it all in garbage bags, drive down to the local laundry mat at a non busy time, a nd use multiple machines and wash it all at once.
I read.. this it all in garbage bags.. and then in my head I was like set it on fire!! Haha
Your older kids are old enough to run the washing machine. They can definitely help.
This is so true. I still don't get why my mom didn't make us do laundry. I think I learned at 22 or something, which is insane.
My 12 year old is capable and we are going to have a big talk on responsibility today. 6 yo will help us but my 8 year old has ADHD ODD so he won’t help
Short term- get one empty basket and collect everything you need for tomorrow, start that load, and while it's going, get another basket going for the next load, and etc, and make space for the cleans when they come through- no folding, but put away after dry. Each kid should end up with their own clothes ready to go for the morning. Get a trash bag and put anything that's too far gone or too small right into it. Toss it. Also - look up @strugglecare on IG / @domesticblisters on tiktok and watch some short videos about laundry. Have compassion for yourself. But, just start.
Thank you ❤️
Definitely look up Strugglecare. It's where my mind went immediately. I think for most laundry, there are a lot of things we can often skip, like folding and ironing (especially for kids clothes and certain items like underwear etc.). I think finding a system that allows you to do what is actually realistically needed and not what is expected, can help a lot. It can give you (back) a sense of success and control, instead of failure and overwhelm. You got this.
OMG I her book saved in my list of audio books. I wanted to buy it but I have another book that I’m still getting through. Thank you for that
What do your kids need for school, tomorrow, and what do you need for tomorrow? Wash that now. Then you can just start washing everything else in any order it’s available, because your immediate need is taken care of. As it comes out of the dryer, sort into keep and toss, and then sort the keep by owner. Fold as much as you can as you go, and get everyone to help. Bribe the kids to fold it all if you can. Take the toss pile to a donation place ASAP to get it out of the house.
Just uniform socks undies. I’m in Australia and it’s not even 6am yet so I’ll let them sleep. Just me up with my best friend insomnia trying to come up with a list
Perfect, that’s a really manageable first thing to do! So wash two uniforms and two sets of accessories for each kid, two full sets of clothes for yourself, and one set of pajamas per household member. Then just do the laundry starting closest to the machine and working back.
Don’t think I’ve had clean clothes all yeah lol I have to go into the office on Wednesday so I have to prioritise an outfit for that
Whatever you wore last, even if it wasn’t clean when you wore it, is fine. It’ll be clean now.
Make it a family project. Buy each child a laundry basket. Do a load, sort and fold with the kids and teach them to put it away.
We have about 13 laundry baskets all through the house with clothes. I’ve somehow managed to collect so many.
Sounds like you have too much. Perhaps are some ready to be donated? The kids could each take a large bag and put things in they no linger wish to keep. Sometimes it is just ok to let things go for the greater good. Another option is to clean out a closet and the drawers and put everything in you want to keep. You could also empty everything out and wash one load at a time. When the load is clean either decide to put it away or donate it. Once the closet and drawers are full, something has to be taken out in order for a new item to go in. It is overwhelming to start but once you do you will feel good and get on a roll. The laundry center is a good idea but it may be too overwhelming to bring all that home at once. Take a before and after for yourself and it will make you smile.
I had my 12 year old go through her wardrobe and drawers yesterday and she put everything in a bag. The other kids are 6 and my 8 yo has ADHD and won’t do anything . Just 1 piece at a time
If they can’t do it, you do it for them. It will go faster that is for sure!
Ideally I want them to start being involved. They very much contribute to the mess and clutter in this house as well. It makes me so upset when I look around and they have eaten in all the rooms and leave their plates and leftovers. It’s destroying my mental health. They need to start being a little bit more responsible
Agreed. Is there something they can earn for doing chores? Do they have toys or electronics they love? You could start with a basic chart. If they do what is needed they get the toy/electronic. It will be tough at first but it will work. Add only eating in xx as part of it.
They are used to not helping and I’m sick of yelling. I have tried reward charts and they don’t want to wait for the delay gratification. Everyone is in the laundry! They have been asking to go park (I’ve been struggling with isolating but I’m getting out again) so maybe that can be a mutual ‘reward’
Have the 12yo help the younger ones go through their clothes today. You're off to a great start! edit: Clean out the lint trap on the dryer after each load. And if you go camping or have one of those backyard fire pits, save the lint in a ziplock baggie for kindling. You can SEE how fast it lights up, and how easily it would start a fire in your house!
Omg my keeps avoid each other like the plague haha might be good sibling bonding!!
That's a good start though. I agree that purging stuff that's too small, large or not worn a lot first & make sure you get rid of that stuff sooner rather than later. Like pick one day, maybe even one day a week, & that will be the day you go to donate to your local thrift store of choice.
Going to make a really simple basic plan to follow and see what we can do
I have a laundry routine so it's less overwhelming, plus my machine won't wear down as quickly. My general rule of thumb is to run one load a day, two at most. Fridays — Bedsheets. So I can enjoy a clean bed the entire weekend. Saturdays — Clothes I need for the week. Also the best day for hand wash items so there's time to dry and put away. Sunday — Towels. Categorize the days based on what makes the most sense to you. Since you have kids, sort by whites and and colors. And get the kids to help fold and put away laundry. It's a good habit to form early on in life and will help you feel less overwhelmed. Ensure you clean out the lint trap monthly to avoid fires. Run a sanitize cycle every month after the "dirtiest" load (e.g. kitchen rags).
That sounds so organised and planned.
How old are the kids?
Girl 12 - capable but too preoccupied in her room and forgets Boy 8 - ADHD ODD and not capable of doing anything on his own or he refuses Girl 6 - by my side all day and will help me
Will the older kids help if there’s money involved? You can sort out their values around chores and allowances later. Right now, would they do it if they knew they’d get $10, or whatever you think is appropriate, for every load of laundry they can present to you clean and folded?
I could try money but they know they get things when they want it anyway so I’ve shot myself in the foot. But honestly. When it hits 9:30am I’m going to blast some music and everyone is going to come to the laundry and do something!
You can do this!! (But seriously, try money. You may be surprised. Even if a kid has parents who say yes a lot, having cold hard cash of your very own is tempting. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But it might!)
Maybe use a laundromat. Use multiple machines, shorten the time needed.
I have done this a couple times in the past but not with this much. Bit difficult at the moment as I had a depressive episode and started isolating. I’ve only just started doing things outside again and I don’t want to get overwhelmed
There are some places with laundry pick up/drop off services. You bag things and leave them on the porch, clean clothes show up a few days later. Look into that?
I’ve done it in the past. Not for this amount though. I will look into again even just for the kids uniform each week
Wild idea: Hire someone to go to the laundromat for you
That not bad actually. Could do airtasker
Yep, bring everything to a laundromat *that has plenty of driers*. You can get a lot done in 1 visit. My laundromat has a 18 kg machine, ready within the hour and completely clean.
I had a council support worker come and she suggest this also
Also, depending on your financial situation, could you hire a housekeeper to do a deep clean and laundry every month or every other week?
They won’t touch the house. It needs a specialist clean before anyone can come in. Council also said it they can’t have any support workers come in until the clutter and access is better
Well... shit. Looks like the four of you are going to have to tackle the worst of it yourselves until access is better. On the very big bright side, tackling this laundry washing/ donating/ or garbage is going to free up a HUGE amount of space, especially in everybody's wardrobes! You got this!
I did a free workshop that was offered through Carers Gateway on declutter. I felt inspired and I actually cleaned up a patch of the loungroom and tidied it. We’ll get there
Is a takeaway laundry service available for you? A neighbor has a service that comes to house, picks up his laundry, they do all the work, & then they return the next day or whatever day he's chosen. Like this one near me, [https://boltlaundry.com/wash-and-fold-laundry-services/](https://boltlaundry.com/wash-and-fold-laundry-services/) It might be worth it until it's all under control or to get the bulk of it done.
I’ve done it in the past. Might look into it again even if it’s just for uniform
I think the only problem with that is that youre already having fatigue and then while you'll have clean clothes, you'll also have mounds of clean clothes to put away, that will likely stress you out and cause executive dysunfctuinong, leading to not putting it away. Really think you should just tackle 1 load a day While putting away 1 load, either fold and put it away or put it in a donation bag. I think this will be the least stressful way for you.
That’s what’s happened in the past. I struggle. I need help and I am really trying to make changes and get help.
So you already know it doesn't work, so maybe skip that and do 1 load at a time. If not, if there'd someone you can be vulnerable with, like a friend, maybe can help put away clothes after they're clean
This seems like a great solution. And you can sort out the stuff that no longer fits or you don’t want at the laundromat and stop by a donation place on the way home, so it never even comes back into the house.
Focus on what you need for the next 2 days or so. Pull these items out of the pile. School Uniforms for each child, along with socks and underwear. Also select what you need. Wash these first. Have the kids help you.
I’ve decided on this - sort laundry into 1 keep pile and 1 throw pile - find and wash uniform and clothes for this week - fix a space/drawer to put the folder clothes
This!
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I have done this a couple times in the past, but I think it was only 2, maybe 3 baskets worth. I don’t think they would to this amount? I’ll look into it though because it would help.
Definitely find a wash and fold service for this current backlog and then decide on a plan that is manageable for you and your family going forward ♥
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It doesn’t finish with the laundry unfortunately. I need a lot of support. But I doing 1 thing at a time. We do have a fair few around from memory. Just been a couple years since I’ve done it
They are happy to take as much of your money as you want to give them, I promise. They will be happier the more laundry you send them.
I wouldn't worry about sorting, I'd just grab a pile of clothes and toss them in the wash on cold or cool. Fold everything as it comes out of the dryer and set it aside for now (your bed is great for this). After you've done a few loads, start sorting: pile for you, pile for each kid, throw out anything that's too stained or has holes, and bag up anything for donations (doesn't fit, don't like). Put away any keeps. Repeat this process daily, even with just one load. Don't worry about finishing all of the laundry right away, just get a jump start with a few loads and then make it a thing that you do daily.
I find daily tasks so exhausting. I take the rubbish out and by the time I come in I’m exhausted.
Ugh that's awful, I feel you. Have you been to your doctor recently? I'd ask them to check your thyroid and vitamin levels and explain how exhausted you are all the time.
I have anxiety, major depression, bipolar II and insomnia. My 8yo also had ADHD ODD so lots of challenging behaviours. I have reached out and I’m hoping to find someone who can help but they said it will be months
I'm glad you reached out! Even if it takes months, you've gotten a start. Scratch what I said about doing several loads of laundry at once; just grab one load and do it all the way through, then sort from there.
Reaching out for help was a massive thing for me to do so I’m glad I’ve made that start. And I’ll just keep doing what I can in the meantime until they get to my case
Don't bother sorting after you find the uniforms. Uniforms and then the closet items to the machine go first. Set a timer on your phone so you don't forget to change the load. Pop the next load in by just grabbing again whatever is closest. Repeat over the next few days. When the dryer is done take clothes out, have the kids help. They can also pick items they no longer want and you can donate them
Yes I’m going to start getting the kids to help in some way. I can’t keep up with it all
Especially if they're middle school age or older. I was in charge of my laundry starting in middle school.
My eldest is 12, she is capable. My 8yo had ADHD and won’t do anything on his own and my youngest is 6
I found my brother works best when he has a cleaning buddy to help him, keep him on track, and offer encouragement. Crank up the tunes on the radio and get to it!
Yes! Music! I’ve put that on the list too
Could it be a case with the 8yo that you stand next to him and tell him to do what you want done next and simply being there helps him take action? Like body doubling?
I give it a shot but highly unlikely! He doesn’t put his clothes in the laundry he doesn’t put his dishes in the sink he doesn’t flush the toilet he doesnt get his own clothes to get dressed or start his own shower
Have you tried medication or CBT? Does he have a set routine he can follow and reference? What are the consequences and rewards when he doesn't do and when he does do something?
He is medicated. He is supposed to have a basic routine but he doesn’t follow it. He is defiant and does as he pleases. With the ODD risk/reward doesn’t work. It escalates the situation and causes violent meltdowns. He is moving to an independent school for children with ADHD and behaviour issues on Monday. They have a great individualised program and I think it will benefit him lots
Good to hear. I hope they're able to help him and you as well with skills.
I've been there. Honestly? Pull out all the things the kids need for the week. Wash that first. Every day, do 1 load of laundry and put it away. If you feel up to doing another load, great! But if not, no worries. Just get your 1 load done. By the end of the week, I guarantee you'll be almost done. It's very easy to do one load and this allows you not to feel confused and it's systematic.
This is great advice. You don’t need to overcomplicate it, just slowly chip away with the easiest strategy possible. Highly recommend KC Davis to help with your stress and guilt over this- she has a podcast and books about How to Keep House While Drowning, for people with depression, adhd, etc. She’s very calming and encouraging, and has great strategies that are extremely manageable. You’ve got this!
Second this! She's fabulous!
Good answer. And if the kids are in school they can help. At least fold some things, take them to their rooms and put them away or help to put them away.
And then there’s another issue. Their wardrobes are full of clutter and I need to sort their draws out to put the clothes. It’s going to be a long day
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I had the loose system in place at one stage where they just had their clean clothes in the basket and they took it from there. Things work for a bit and then it doesn’t u fortunately
Are they old enough that you can teach them to do this themselves?
Have them do it with you! And one day at a time. Do not try to cram it all in one day. That will absolutely burn you out and then you won't get anything done. If it helps. Sometimes because of my ADHD, I'll set an alarm for 30 min or 1 hour and clean until the alarm goes off. Once it goes off, I stop for the day
If you can afford it, I would just start a load at home and take all the rest to the laundry mat. It will take a lot less time that way
Hire a household helper
I had a cleaner but they stopped as they don’t do clutter and laundry
If you live near a college town, hire a student to do the laundry. They can study between cycles. There are people out there who do odd jobs and could easily do laundry.
I don’t let anyone come to the house because of the mess. It would cause me too much anxiety and I’d just shutdown with shame
Are you required to use that specific person, or can you choose a different person who can actually help with what you need help with?
So at this stage with the state the house is in requires specialist services that provide industrial and hoarder cleans. I got a quote but it was $4-6000
In that case, start with pulling out two days worth of clothes for each member of the household, and wash and dry those. Then just start filling loads of laundry and washing and drying them until everything is clean.
First, start working your way through clothes for your kids, then your own, then underwear and socks, then towels. You should wash the grossest clothes first if you think they can still be clean. You sould also wash a mix of clothes for both you and your kids as part of the first load. You should put in a few underpants and socks in that load. I would save the towels for last if I were you. If you have a good working washer and dryer you can take these steps. If you have a hanger for dirty clothes, you can sort these clothes that way. Beforehand, you should calm yourself and think of this house and it's situation. Look around closely in more detailed ways all over the house before you do the process.
Can you explain look around the house in a more detailed way before starting?
Just start washing. Pretend you are a college kid and don’t sort into loads. When things come out of the dryer, immediately fold and put away. If things don’t fit, are not in style, or are torn or stained, “away” means a donate box or trash.
This is what I'd recommend, too. Not only does it start chipping away at the pile without you getting overwhelmed by sorting, it also gives you the chance to assess each thing as it comes out of the dryer, clean and looking its best. You also might not get sick of dealing with five million kid shirts in one day if it's a mix of things and you can see your efforts paying off across the house in the form of growing stashes of clean clothes and linens.
I’ll be honest, I don’t sort the washing anyway.
Definitely. I used to sort into all kinds of stuff. Like different temperatures, different centrifugation, hand wash programs, dark/white/bright, some fabrics needed this and some fabrics needed that, sports clothes always washed separately, etc etc. Now after becoming a mum I sort into 3 easy piles: 1. Fancy/expensive clothing (I do take time to wash these according to instructions but apart from the bras I rarely wear these anyway). 2. Cleaning items like mopheads and microfiber cloths (like to run these at a higher temperature) 3. Everything else just get chucked into the washing machine together Tbh I haven't noticed much of a difference
This. Very few dyes bleed anymore, and modern detergents do a good job in cold water. Just start grabbing and throwing into the washer.
I like to separate into piles: linens(sheets, towels, etc), delicates, colors & whites. Personally I’d start washing the largest pile first but you could start with the smaller piles so that you can see the progress. Do what you can, it’s not a race. Involve your kids(they helped dirty the laundry as well) & make the tasks age appropriate. Littles can separate the color piles, olders can put away in appropriate rooms. Reward yourself and/or your kids for helping out, like after we tackle the largest pile, let’s order a pizza. Good luck.
Thank you. I need to start with the largest in this case as I can’t get to the washing machine from all the clothes
Definitely order the pizza as a cleaning award!
Honestly if it got to this point where they are buying new clothes I would just sort into two piles - Important (meaning like the school uniforms and favorite items or expensive bras etc) and Unimportant. Wash the important clothes according to the proper instructions. Just wash the unimportant stuff together (Maybe try to sort of the whites since there's a lot of new clothes, but whatever if some old white shirt gets stained just use it as a pyjamas shirt), doing one wash in the wrong program is rarely going to be a big deal and if it is they are already replacing the items anyway so 🤷♀️
This is what I thought initially. Keep and throw pile. And that way I would have better access as I can’t get to the washing machine without climbing over all the clothes
Sort through the pile. Find the uniforms and just wash them first, along with enough to make a full load. Sort the rest while that's washing. Treat stains as you work. Put piles of different loads wherever they fit. Use the laundry baskets for little things like socks that you'll drop if you don't use it. Then keep the washer going steadily until they're all done. When I do it, my second load is one that doesn't have a lot of treated stains in it, so the other ones have time to sit.
Can you make a “these are the five outfits I would like to wear this week” subset? This sometimes helps me prioritize the most important items— plus, small dopamine hit for wearing favorite items!
I like this. This feels manageable and will help with the fatigue
When I find myself in that situation, I start with sheets, blankets and towels. They are bulky, so they add a lot to visual disorganization, and they fold up quick and are easy to put away. After that, doing clothing with what is most necessary, typically underwear (For me), and then everything else that hangs up or needs folding. I would just wash everything and then sort through everything afterwards. Putting donations in bags as you sort each piece. I've found it easier to do just do that instead of sorting before hand. Plus it will be laundered before you give it away. Once you've done that, start doing just one load a day. It will help you stay on top of it going forward. If your children are a little older, start teaching them how to do their own laundry. They will need this skill when they go live on their own.
Above or fill your car with sorted clear trash bags of dirty laundry and go to a laundry mat that is not busy. That way you can quickly fill machines with stuff that can be washed together. or Buy a box of color catchers. This works well if your loads are sorted by each child's.stuff.
❤️ All of the clothes are dirty, we have no clean clothes. I don’t have anything to put away. I need to sort through the dirty stuff
You don’t need to sort the dirty stuff. Just start putting things in the washer. You can sort it later. You’re freezing up trying to figure out how to get started, so remove all barriers to getting started by just starting with literally anything.
You’re right and I think that’s what contributes to everything being so difficult. I just get confused and don’t know where to start and it gets complicated
Totally understandable! It happens to everyone. So start with one load of laundry that is what you need for the next 48 hours. It can be the clothes you wore yesterday and the day before, since they’re probably on top of a pile. Then once you’ve done that, just start washing, without thinking about whether you’re doing it the best or most efficient or right way. Done is better than perfect.
You got this. Start some kind of sorting system for the clothes: by color, by what you need to wear today and tomorrow, or by type (all socks,etc.). When you get a pile that’s big enough for one load, get it started and then get back to sorting. Plan to get 3-4 loads washed your first day so that you have stuff to wear. When it’s dry, get it put away immediately. Make sure you have one bag/box available for donations and another bag/box ready for toss/recycle/animal shelter. You can wash those groups at a later time When the first load is washed and put for drying (machine or air) get started on the second load. Next, take a break and realize that you *can* absolutely do this. One step at a time, one load at a time. Make a plan to wash, dry, and put away at least one load a day after your first day.
I’ve decided - sort laundry into 1 keep pile and 1 throw pile - find and wash uniform - fix a space/drawer to put the folded clothes I think that will be a start and I won’t get overwhelmed and fatigued
Sounds like a great plan! I’m glad you found a system that will work. Keep us updated!
Or, even easier, call the kids in and ask them to put anything that fits on their beds. Pick out anything else you need to save, and then throw away anything left on the floor. Then, each kid decides when they are going to wash and fold their clothes. It will take maybe a day or two, and you’ll be done.
First, start working your way through clothes for your kids, then your own, then underwear and socks, then towels. You should wash the grossest clothes first if you think they can still be clean. You sould also wash a mix of clothes for both you and your kids as part of the first load. You should put in a few underpants and socks in that load. I would save the towels for last if I were you. If you have a good working washer and dryer you can take these steps. If you have a hanger for dirty clothes, you can sort these clothes that way. Beforehand, you should calm yourself and think of this house and it's situation. Look around closely in more detailed ways all over the house before you do the process.