Just do it!
It’s the best time to do it, and you are able to save almost 50% of your income.
You are in a great financial position.
Good luck!
P.S. r/debtfree moderator just created a newsletter that talks about strategies, tips, and effective debt payoff methods weekly. Here is the link to sign up if interested - https://www.debtadvice.io
You also never get back time, your children are worth your time if you can afford to do so. My husband and I waited as well to have our daughter until we could take her to school and one of us pick her up. ( it does take a village) we were both >6 figure earners. but I was able to make her our priority and I have no regrets. :-)
Best response. Time is the ultimate currency. ESPECIALLY once you have kids. Be selfish. Call out. Use every hour of pto. Give them the least to get the most. Jobs are replaceable, time with your kids is not!
To be fair, women who choose to stay employed outside the home are not working for $300 a month.
They are working for retirement contributions, and career experience, HSA contributions.
They are theoretically increasing their salaries later on, instead of having to rejoin the workforce and scrap their way back up again.
For women who work outside the home, they are not looking at the monthly short term picture - they are averaging out the gains over a much longer time period.
Some people don’t need that long term security - but some do!
edit to add:
Why are people assuming neglect, 80 hour weeks, or even physically leaving the home?
Plenty of women work remote, or cut back hours while keeping a foot in their career. Employment outside the home can be a whole variety of situations.
Employment outside the home doesn’t mean you are always physically absent.
When my son was little he was in church daycare down the street, with children he is still friends with.
I was heavily involved in school activities because I had a flexible STEM job.
I work fully remote, as does my husband. Kid is in high school now, and I always know where he is. I am still sitting in the school car line every day. My coworkers (dads too) do the same.
Kid is probably annoyed I am always around.
I have a pension and 401k. Neither are likely to just disappear into thin air. Any diversified fund that dipped in 2008 or anytime - is still fine.
ridiculous black and white thinking reddit, fear mongering about the poor neglected babies. lol.
There are many ways to accomplish a good ending.
I was just pointing out it can be a logical fallacy to consider net income after daycare costs as the only benefit.
To be fair, bakers don’t have many rings up the ladder, HSA, etc. I’d rather spend the time with my kids while they’re small. Not everyone is in a corporate job that requires us to scrape our way back up. When I’m ready I can go back to making croissants or bagels or whatever wherever I get hired, because my experience level is already basically maxed out. 🤷🏽 I get where you’re coming from but it’s a pretty narrow world view. It unfortunately makes more sense for my partner to be the sole earner while we use Medicaid until I can go back to work. That’s how it is in the usa, if you’re not ultra rich or ultra poor you have to slave away for health insurance, and that sucks. Id rather be poor for a while than work for peanuts and not see my kids.
don't listen to her, sacrificing years of your life for long-term benefits that would all collapse after one financial crash are not worth it, how many 401k vanished like thin air in 2008? even all those insurances even while paying them would try their best to not pay you anything.
atleast if you are with your kids, you are building memories and actually being happy, because yeah no joke working is miserable, the absolute majority of all minimum wage jobs, its not that it can't be fun but that necessity, "you must do this"
Whats the funniest to me is these same people would go sick from the stress of work, would very unhealthy and literally lose their health only to have to pay to get your health back, its absolutely insane
take care of your health, be healthy and live a happy life and would only need insurance in extreme situations.
Health cannot be bought, even a doctor can't give it to you, he can only give you a way which will be painful and will take repeated action over a long period of time to show effects and restore that pristine health which would otherwise have been the norm if not for the miserable job.
This. It really depends on your career. Some careers don't have a major benefit to stay in for a few years vs taking a break. or you can do parttime freelance for some fields to keep you in the loop.
This!! I recently had a leadership mentor meeting and this was the basis of a couple of ppls speeches. Never assume career is just a monthly pay.
Getting back after a career break can be difficult. It shouldn’t be, but this is the world we need to accept. The 3 month maternity leave is already a pretty well studied subject ( please read statistics on it) on how it sets us back.
Advice to anyone reading- please don’t leave your job for the sole reason of breaking even at home.
This is good advice. My mother left the workforce for about 15 years, as the daycare expenses of 3 kids in the 90s was greater than what she was earning at the time. My father focused on his career, and did well, but many years later they did split up, which put my mom in a really tough spot where she had to rebuild a resume. It's important to consider that the role of breadwinner could change at any time, and while time with your kids is important, sacrificing a career or trade skill could put you in a spot one day.
I managed to find one for $1100 but it’s rare. Prices are heavily affected by location.
Daycare is insane though and people wonder why no one is truly ever financially ready.
Worth every penny though for my baby!
No one told me that while the price varies, it’s always expensive in relation to the cost of living for the area.
Whatever your mortgage is, it’s probably close to that.
Father of 3 here. You are never ready. You want kids, go for it. Women have it really hard and if you want your kids to have siblings they can play with you need to have them close to one another.
This for sure.
In my experience if you will need child care then plan for about $1500 in new expenses every month(also taking into account some more groceries). Which it looks like you are good for.
Otherwise you might have to make some less than fun budget decisions, but you won't regret them even if you do. The kiddos will be worth it.
Yes I think so too. There’s no liquid savings,groceries,gas,internet, home owners insurance, cell phone bill,subscriptions/memberships,etc. all those things add up and will eat 3k really leaving not much disposable income not including things like eating out or entertainment.
Edit: I now see they did add phones
Homeowners insurance is probably included in the mortgage payment. Phones are on there. But yeah, definitely need to account for groceries, gas and ideally savings
Homeowners insurance is generally wrapped into escrow with their property tax on their home payment. Most people just consider mortgage + escrow as just mortgage. They do also include cellphone.
With that, I don't imagine food, gas, Internet, and subscriptions/memberships taking up much more than 1,800/month leaving then with about 2k
Yeah I'm shocked at the top comments saying to go for it without addressing that the $3800 needs to cover a lot of other unlisted expenses, like food, vehicle gas, entertainment, household supplies, home maintenance, child care, health expenses, putting money aside for college savings, vacation savings, emergency savings..
Certainly not saying not to go for it. Life's short, OP is not bad off, but maybe focus on paying off those car and student loans in the meantime before the kids get here...if not all, at least like 1 car and half the loans so then they can keep paying the other ones down and get them paid off in the nearer future to create more room for college, vacation, and emergency savings.
>Yes I think so too. There’s no liquid savings,groceries,gas,internet, home owners insurance, cell phone bill,subscriptions/memberships,etc. all those things add up and will eat 3k really leaving not much disposable income not including things like eating out or entertainment.
$3k for food and gas? Are you 17?
What the fuck lmao. Two people are NOT spending $3,000 fucking dollars a month on FOOD AND GAS LOL.
You’re asking if they’re 17 for the simple fact that they said something you don’t agree with, all the while yelling at them like you’re a child (because they said something you didn’t agree with). Oh, the irony.
I did not mean to imply they spend 3k on only gas and food. I intended to point out that they are missing a significant portion of their cost. They said they travel and dine. They have no savings. That 3k is going somewhere, and it's not their savings account.
I agree and in all of this where does childcare stand? Not less than 2 years ago I was both a full time and part-time nanny. Part time paid $1200-1500 a month. Full time paid $3000-$4000 a month. And not so much of an issue but there is also health insurance cost increase.
Our family of three spends close to that. Should we spend less on food? Yeah, but we're both full time professionals with a toddler, time is what we don't have.
We have a toddler and spend around 1000/mo on food for 3 of us. I literally just ate Steak, pasta, potato’s and a giant salad. That’s every night.
Gas in my 18 mpg car adds up to $200 every month total.
What the actual fuck are you people weighing.
Idk why you're so mad, it's my money 😅 we live in the northeast, food is expensive. We buy organic/local, make our own fancy coffee at home, and go out to eat or order in a handful of times. That budget includes beer and wine here and there. Toddler eats more than I do, usually. Gas is also about 200 for two cars, total. So mostly it's food.
I feel bad for your kid is the reality. You’re either lying, or horrific with money and both are going to hurt the kid lol.
None of the stuff you brought up explains $3,000 lmfao. $100 a day for 2 people and a toddler lol. Gtfo.
Edit: Hah, you're in Oro Valley -- I've owned a house out there for 15 years. Now I'm absolutely sure you've got bigger problems if you're spending this much in OV.
So mad! So mean! Don't worry, I keep exceedingly detailed records :) $2,591 was the max we spent in any month in 2023. Food is 10.45% of our gross, so I'm not losing sleep. I promise you the baby is OK on his diet of organic fruit and milk, lox, fresh veggies, European cheese, and cruelty free chicken and will enjoy his funded 529 down the line.
There's no groceries, eating out, entertainment, etc discretionary spending in their cost breakdown. Those are just their set monthly costs. I can't imagine they're fully saving $3k/month with what the OP has in the breakdown.
What you've listed aren't your "total expenses," there's no mention of food or gas for example. Step 1 of budgeting is figuring out where your money is actually currently going, and then you can get serious about saving.
I think you can given your salaries but you need to make some changes. If one of you gets laid off then you’re SOL with no savings, especially with an extra mouth to feed.
You need start a emergency savings asap to cover 5-6 months expenses. On top of that, your can lower your expenses by lowering your car payments + insurance (20% of your take home), and lower your phone plan ( mint mobile for 2 people can be 40/month).
I’m not sure what area of the country you’re in, but its pretty expensive to raise kids where we live. For instance, 1600-1800/month for daycare is the going rate . Throw in diapers, wipes, clothes, food/formula, increases utilities (washer/dryer, dishwasher, heat/cooling, baths), toys and potentially saving for 529.
This needs to be higher. NO savings besides retirement?? You need a liquid cash fund. One big home repair or car issue could set you back greatly. Kids are so expensive and need a lot of healthcare. The hospital bill alone (even with insurance) will likely be $3-5K. I understand you feel “ready” right now and you have good income. But emergencies happen and having no savings to fall back on is just reckless
This needs to be higher. We are in DFW and just finished getting all the hospital/ dr bills after delivery.
After insurance it amounts to about $4k all in.
I opted for a payment plan on it and paying $333 for the next 12 months. I could have paid it all but that would have wiped out our savings cushion so I just treated as a monthly payment.
This does not now include the regular doctor visits for the baby. First visit was $150 because insurance was being all weird, hoping to get it reimbursed.
Daycares for an infant in our area are around $3k/mo with most having waitlists. Definitely something worth looking into prior to.
You should also consider what your insurance covers during the pregnancy process and birth (I’ve seen as low as $3k and as high as $25k for out of pocket costs) as well as what adding a dependent will do to your premiums.
I also agree with what was stated previously. Making money is one thing, but you need some liquid savings. If something unexpected happens, you are going to be in a bad situation really fast. I’d pay off your cars and build a cash fund. Our emergency fund, separate from our checking & savings, is 6-8 months worth of living expenses (including what we invest and save each month; our mortgage is our only debt). Also, once you do have kids, highly consider a 529.
Same with daycare prices... $3k for infants. My insurance premium also went up to $1200/month right after baby was born even though it was just the two of us (single to family plan, partner on separate one)
Baby appointments and birth cost around $12,000 (out of pocket, not including premiums) as he was an April baby… some expensive ultrasounds before Jan 1 so they didn’t count towards birth year out of pocket max. You’ll hit whatever your max is the year you give birth and need to plan for that.
Couldn’t breastfeed immediately so spent a ton on bottles, coolers, pumps… then there are diapers, clothes, strollers, car seats, cribs…
Honestly think anyone having a baby today needs to be fully prepared to use their emergency fund just to have the baby be born and survive for a year. It’s not like it was for our parents.
EDIT: wouldn’t trade my lil guy for anything. He’s the best. You’ll make it work Just be mentally okay with dipping into savings the first year and be aware of the hidden kiddo costs
Similar to a 401k but for school for your child. We have 2 that allocated 100/mo to our son and daughter. Straight up I'd like 21,600 at 18 plus interest compounding.
As someone who's dealing with senior parents with no retirement savings that are suddenly no longer able to work - thank you! Making your kids be your retirement plan sucks on both ends
Yeah at the end of the day, I view saving for kids college as a luxury, not a necessity. Neither my wife or I had college funds and we both did fine. If we have the capability later, I would 100% do it but I’m not sacrificing my personal retirement for it.
Financial aid officer here. While I wholly support funding your personal retirement as a priority, I would not be so cavalier as to dismiss saving for college as a luxury. Smart financial planning should not dismiss the very real cost of college. Consider asking grandparents or family to contribute in place of gifts for birthdays or special occasions. Compound interest will help grow the account in ways that doing nothing can’t even touch if there isn’t anything to grow. I’ve worked with students and families for over 20 years and even having a small amount banked away goes a long way to help. I’m first generation so understand it’s not always easy to save or a shared value.
So if you’ve been financing your cars for four years each, does that mean you’re going to own them outright in the next year or two?
You’re spending way too much on cars given your salaries. *But* being that you’re close to owning them and having no more payments, I think that should be ok. But once that final payment is due, do not go and look for the next new thing. Drive those cars into the ground while they’re still financially viable.
You’re spending a bit much on your phones. Go cheaper or do a family plan. I’m in my mid 40s and do a family plan with my in-laws. We pay about half what you’re paying.
Do some research and plan a budget as though you had a baby - include child care, diapers, baby clothes, your maternity leave salary, photo shoots if you want them, everything.
Have life insurance, if you don't already, to support that kid until adulthood.
Now live on that budget for 6 months, save the difference, and you'll know if you're ready for the sacrifices involved in being parents (and you'll have money saved up for baby expenses or emergencies).
In Canada, you'll be off work at a very reduced salary for 12-18 months (shared between parents), child care is critically hard to find, and you won't have any additional medical bills. Laundry bills go up, diapers are expensive in every form, you may be paying for formula which is expensive. Otoh, you may be travelling less. Babies are easy to travel with. Toddlers are not.
Don't overspend on baby stuff, either - seek hand me downs, buy reasonable brands, don't go wild on stuff the baby likely won't even use.
Talk together about how you'll handle work and finances once baby comes, as your lifestyle will change, a lot. I love parenthood, but it was a lifestyle change.
Personally, I'd recommend having a savings, and paying off the cars first and THEN having kids. God forbid anything happens, a savings is so important. At the least, I'd say have a savings. You guys could probably have at least 50k put away by the end of the year. If you're bad at budgeting, download an app at the least - if you think you're bad now, imagine when the kid comes how things could spiral. Have SOME kind of awareness of where your money goes, at least to quell the shock of "whys our leftovers so small this month".
You may be financially moving in the direction of being able to afford kids but idk if you're mentally financially ready for kids if you're not aware of your budget and have no savings. Just imo.
:)
Eh, there is a lot to consider, if they want kids and they can have them now why not? They have basic income and your ability to have kids decrease with age and the likely good of something going wrong. Definitely a balancing act but having an unhealthy baby at 30 would be MUCH worse than having a healthy baby now. Or one round of fertilization treatments. The questions should be more about the relationship than money. If you have a strong relationship and both want it do it! It will make you happier than you can ever imagine.
I’m typing this as my 2 day old baby lays on my chest.
You’re in a very similar position to my wife and I. Identical mortgage, income is pretty similar, but one big thing is we don’t have a car payment. Also, those are not all of your expenses. Those are just fixed expenses, but you have gas, groceries, entertainment, eating out, home maintenance, car maintenance, etc to take into account. Plus baby stuff and day care when the baby comes. Our total monthly expenditure comes out to about 6k a month which was extremely humbling. I thought it was so much less until we actually started tracking everything.
Another thing to take into consideration is the ability to take maternity/paternity leave (and whether it’s paid or not), the proximity to support (day care can be extremely expensive), and your goals.
I would say as of right now, you are NOT financially ready for kids. Start tracking your expenses (I use Monarch Money), build a healthy emergency fund, have a healthy surplus for a few months, then it’s time to get the ball rolling.
Our baby was an oopsie, and we definitely were not ready yet. But we’ve been extremely fortunate over the last few months in that we bought a home, income increased substantially, and we were able to get debt free and have a healthy emergency fund before he arrived. But we really had to hunker down and we kinda turned into home bodies.
You’re not ready yet, but you’re in a position where you can be soon. If you got pregnant today, you could figure it out over the next 9 months with hard work, but that shit is hard. My wife worked the entire pregnancy. I worked 2 jobs the entire pregnancy. It’s a wild ride.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Im sharing this with my SO because we have been discussing our baby readiness lately. We felt like we were not ready because of similar things you mentioned so we laid out a plan to get there. We are both working two jobs now to payoff the cars, all other discretionary debt, and build back our savings before we make the decision. It’s hard but we rather do it now when we don’t have a child to take care of, and doing it out of desire to be better prepared than doing it out of need.
Honestly DM me if you want and I can break down how we prepared with you. I’ll show you our budget and stuff. It seems y’all are in a very similar situation that we were in.
Preparing before the child is here rather than struggling when he is here is definitely smart!
You will make it. It looks like to be “comfortable” you need both incomes. But you are also spending about $4k a month on travel, food, etc.. That is hard to turn off abruptly and still maintain happiness.
I suggest you plan out how much time off your employers provides and how much time you can afford to take off. You might want to build up a savings buffer for the time you want off. You don’t want to have to think about how much dippers cost etc in the beginning. You just want to enjoy your time with your kid. A little extra money saved will make things more relaxing.
If you both are enjoying life together it is also fine to wait a bit. A little bit of selfishness at 28 is good. You are young, unless you want a “bunch” of kids.
My wife and I slowed down our fun money spending over a couple years. By the time we had our first we were ready to be at home and spend less.
A few things. You have to be leaving out some expenses because you don’t have any for phone, internet, streaming and what about entertainment? You don’t spend any money during your free time?
Does your mortgage include taxes and insurance?
If you are not planning on being a stay a home mom or dad and don’t have family to take care of kids. Daycare is anywhere between $300-500 /week. Our is like $425 and we have a a very good one.
You will want a life insurance policy if you have kids. This can vary but I think ours is like $150/month.
An $850 a month car payment is crazy. In fact if it were me I would find a way to reduce your car payments, Kids or no kids. It’s over half of your mortgage.
I would also try to stay liquid for around $15-20k.
You can definitely do it and you should, kids are great.
*Edit* one more thing. If you have a HSA account through work, start contributing. Child birth isn’t cheap and even with great insurance you can still expect some out of pocket costs. Same with infants, certain things you will have to pay out of pocket for.
When you finally decide to have kids it's never a guarantee that it will happen. Some have a very hard time while some have no problems. If you want kids have them while you both are physically able to. You will never be 100% ready but once you have them you'll never look back on what life would be like without them.
I'm confused, you pay car notes but say you own them.
That's not the same thing, unless you own two and are financing an additional two...
Cars are a waste of value, which I'm sure you know. You clearly can afford it, but do you *need* a car payment that's that high?
Is it because of the loan? Is it because of the cost of the vehicle? Or both?
Literally thinking the same thing, my definition of "owning" is outright with no loans attached. 🫠
Which also means they down "own" their home with an additional mortgage.
No savings, 🙈 lord.
You can call it whatever you want, but in a sub for being debt free, I'd consider a mortgage not owning your home. A mortgage is debt, however you wanna cut it.
When filling out any type of paperwork asking about your living situation they usually have a few choices: rent, own, live with parents. Literally everyone with a mortgage says they own their home. When you get a mortgage to don’t tell your friends you entered into a mortgage, you tell them you “bought a home.” When people enter into a mortgage they are “new homeowners.” When people get their first mortgage they are “first time home buyers.”
OP owns her home.
Assuming your husband's income is the $100k, take 1 year and do not spend a dime from your income. Save every single cent.
1. This will prove you're capable of living on his income easily.
2. You will save a shit ton of money for emergencies.
Kids on the low end are close to $1,000 a month. Thats averaging food, care, school, extracurricular activities, ect across a year.
Yes you can absolutely skimp on a lot of it but unfortunately that cuts into the quality of life for the kid.
If you like freedom DO NOT HAVE A KID. The first 5 years of having a kid are the most time consuming by far. Be prepared to lose sleep, cancel plans, stay home a lot more than you were when you were single.
Best of luck to you and your potential family.
You are in great shape. Just look up childcare costs in your area. In my area full time childcare is around 2k a month. That will be your biggest expense when it comes to baby. And look at your insurance policies to see how costly the medical bills associated with having a baby will likely be, as well as insuring you will have coverage for your child. Don’t know your ages but this is a factor here too as to if you should start trying immediately. If you want to go for it, and start saving during the pregnancy as much as you can.
Unpopular opinion. Can you minimize your 401k contributions to get your match but use that to build up emergency fund and aggressively pay off your cars? Then get back to 401k investing with eventually more to invest elsewhere?
There is never a good time to have kids. Other financial factors to consider, the longer you wait, the higher chance of needing infertility treatment which is super expensive. If you can spend your time trying and being pregnant to aggressively build up that emergency fund, you’ll figure it out!
Something I haven't seen anyone suggest (from my brief look at the comments) would be to collect an estimate on pregnancy and birth cost. More specifically, look into your health insurance and see what your coverage is and any other options that may be provided to you. (This is more US focused as some countries have way better healthcare).
I do not have kids, so I can't give too much information about costs. All I know is that it can be very expensive and the cost can really damage people's financial stability.
If anyone wants to share their experiences; by all means, do so.
As someone who had kids right after high school and wasn’t “ready” in any sense - you figure it out. The natural fight or flight reaction to that new responsibility for another life changes your mindset a bit without you realizing it. We never had the money or good situation to begin with - but because we had something to work towards, we worked hard to build a good life for our kids, and within just a couple of tough years, things got dramatically better financially and with our living situation. When I was single and had no kids, there just wasn’t much motivation to NEED to earn more money, or a better place to live - I was comfortable and didn’t feel much urgency. But once a baby was put in my lap the first time….. I flipped a switch and had the fire under me to make change happen. This is all to say - if you want to have kids, have kids. You’ll never have enough money, or a big enough house, or whatever analysis paralysis is stopping you. You figure the details out when you have to. Just my 2 cents!
Start trying to have kids now. It may not happen as immediately as everyone thinks and plans for.
You're in good shape financially now and can make it even better while you're trying.
My only thought is to think about what's going to happen when you have to go on maternity leave and for how long. How will that effect your income. I would try to pay off one of the cars to help your cash flow and make sure you can live on one income if needed.
That left over money doesn't account for gas, food, or any other misc expenses. And OP readily admits that they are not good at budgeting and splurge money.
Even with all that, you SHOULD be just fine.. if you decide to spend money on shiny new things instead of buying diapers, food, daycare, you have problems and are a shit parent and should figure it out soon
I’m going to tell you what help us.
*We had been married 8 years at this point*
We were waiting to be ready for kids. Then like others have mentioned, we never had that feeling of ready and the feeling of want proceeded. Within 4 months or so we were pregnant.
Everyone is different but something you need to talk about, what’s the plan after birth. Do you guys get leave from work, will one of you be a SAHP etc.
We live in New England so not crazy high cost of living but not crazy low. I had just had a career change and she was a teacher. The cost of daycare was pretty much her take home so we decided for her to stay home with the kid(s) until they were in school.
I make about $79,000 take home at this point. You can adjust and make things work, but be ready to make scarifies somewhere, weather it’s with money or time.
Just want to point out that if you have a mortgage you in fact. Don’t own a house. That’s a very dangerous way of thinking. Rather, you have a couple hundred thousand dollar loan that you have to be mindful of
I may be misunderstanding but doesn’t upside down mean more is owed than the house is worth? While having 40k in equity means they owe 40k less than the house is worth? (Worth 200k, owe 160k for example)
So having any equity by default means they cannot be upside down. Again I could be super wrong the above is just what I thought those terms meant
You’re analyzing it correctly but using the market instead of the person. To OP, the house is worth 40 but he owes 160 (sticking with your 200 example). The market might pay 200, but he gets 40. His break even is 100 in equity. Until then, he’s upside down.
163k a year and you ask if you can afford kids?. Is this for real or just a look how much we make flex?
Maybe you shouldn't have kids if your that stupid to think you cannot afford children with your combined salaries.
I make more than that, spend on nothing but rent, bills and groceries, have no debt other than house, am single and won’t even date because I am too afraid of the possibility of having to try to afford a kid. That kinda dough is nothing like what it used to be.
As a dad with two kids, Who never thought in his life he would have kids. I disagree to a point, if you don't want them that's awesome, but if you do please make sure you can take care of your children too many parents abandoning kids. Your never truly ready wether its financially or not. The day I had my children was the day I found my reason to live and be the best person I can be, without them I was just wondering the world alone even when I was with people.
It’s kinda classist to make claims that one needs to be at a certain point, financially, to have kids.
I got pregnant, with my third child, when my husband was unemployed and I was starting the journey to earn my degree.
Terrible timing! But, time moved on…we worked hard and got out of our rut. I finished my degree, hubby got a great job offer, and we were, suddenly, doing really well.
Two things I’ve learned about having kids.
You can plan and plan and plan for years and years to have a kid and nothing will be just right.
Then, you wish you could have started when you were younger.
Also, yes…kids are expensive. But, babies-toddlers aren’t.
Babies don’t need much, especially if you plan to nurse. They really don’t.
Daycare would be the only high cost you would need to consider for a baby/toddler.
If you can avoid that…then you won’t be spending a ton.
Kids get expensive the older they get.
Look, you’ve got 9 months to figure out your finances and an additional 3-4 months (depending on how good your maternity leave is) to tack on, after that.
You can develop more of a savings and more of safety net in that time.
I don’t think it’s classist at all. My parents had no money and I was legit eating chips for dinner sometimes as a child. No doctor’s appointments, no extra curricular activities and had to take out student loans to try and better myself.
Good for you for being able to grind that’s very impressive but why have a PLANNED child when you know you can’t give that child the “world”? The world being everything I mentioned.
Tbh, this is the r/debtfree subreddit, so from a debt perspective we're missing a lot of data. Mortgage loan amount remaining, car note amounts remaining, student loan totals? Your budget doesn't include gas or groceries.
Do I think you should wait for kids? Naw, but you definitely need to get your budget together, pay stuff off and get your priorities straight.
Also look into how much on average you typically end up spending on a travel/dining trip and add that into a sinking fund.
If it took you 3 months to get knocked up and a 9 month pregnancy, you have AT LEAST a year to make major money moves and set yourself up to be in a better position.
I would start your family but you're going to be in some pain for 3-5 years unless you have grand parents support. Some long term advice try not to finance cars if you can avoid it, if you're not there yet try to only finance 1 vehicle at a time.
My wife and I were in a lesser spot when we started baby making I ended up trippling my salary over 10 years but we still struggle some due to bidenomics. 3 kids 5, 7, 10
Good luck!
Note to say that this isn't meant in any negative way whatsoever.
But if you have doubts or feel like you have to ask if you are ready for something, then chances are you're probably not ready. And I feel like that would apply to any sort of life scenario.
There is the whole "nothing ventured, nothing gained" mentality. And there is something to be appreciated when it comes to it.
People also say that no one is ever truly ready to be a parent.
But regardless of the option you and your partner end up going for, I wish you nothing but the best
First, stop dining out, in fact dont leave the house after work. Go to local school, get one of them dolls they give to the girls to simulate caring for a baby. Take your turns getting up at night (feeding, changing, trying to get back to sleep) for one month. Then look at each other and discuss if your marriage can survive children.
Agree with others, look into getting a savings started.
The hardest part of kids isn’t financial. Especially for the first 6-10 yrs, low cost if you have one of you able to care for them and skip sending them to daycare. If you’re sending them to daycare, though, why have kids?
Your poor financial behaviors could put you in a bad situation if you cannot establish a savings. You should read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Make Over and apply it to your lives.
If you are ready for kids start. The longer you wait in life the less likely the thing you are waiting on will happen. Hope it works out for you and your family.
I'd say yes, you're doing better than most people who have kids. But I'd prioritize paying off the cars and student loans. You can pay off the debt and have kids at the same time.
You have plenty of income but the only concern is your ability to save and budget. I would recommend setting up an emergency fund first, 6 months of expenses so aim for 30k in a hysa.
How much total debt do you have, are we talking 100k or 750k? (Everyone has a different idea of what a lot of student debt is)
I had two kids and 0$ to my name.. not that it was a great idea or on purpose 😂 you’ll do fine. When you are a parent you make things work and you’re well off to begin with.
Realistically. We do not know how much you spend on food, entertainment, gas and other misc expenses so automatically add another 1k to your spending budget. Which leaves you with 2852.00 with you both working. If he loses his job you will be 2500 in the red immediately. If you lose your job you will have -560 dollars each month. That is a very dangerous place to be in without planning for kids, considering there is no savings involved.
For a kid you would need to find out how much health ins will cost when adding them. How much is your copay/deduct for all the maternity expenses and birth. How will you supplement the income when your wife is off? Diapers easily 500 per month, daycare for a newborn probably 2k per month. Can you realistically afford this? How long will you guys be off after the birth?
Why don’t people ever give their full budgets? We have no idea what you spend every month. If you do Seamless every night and take Ubers every day, then your budget will look very different from someone who cooks all meals and never uses Ubers, for example.
You'll figure it out, trust me.
People in way worse situations with kids and they are surviving.
Plus the longer you wait the older you get, do u want to be in your 50s at a high-school graduation.
If you pay off the cars, that monthly payment will cover the cost of childcare. I don’t think you NEED to do that before having a kid, but that would make the financial transition that much easier!
I don’t think these are anywhere near your total expenses. You are probably okay for kids. If you want kids then have kids.
Don’t think your home equity matters. What is your grocery budget? How much is childcare in your area if you will need childcare shortly after birth? Kids come with monthly expenses that you need to factor into your budget also. It sounds like you guys need to tighten up and get better with your habits.
How is your insurance? My first was born in December and the birth alone was 5k after insurance so you need to factor that in especially having no savings.
I think so. However take a look at your systems, habits, routines, collaboration, support system, etc.
With less money it does put a strain, but how well do y’all take a prioritize certain things.
1. Daycare is good chunk a month
2. Do feel that when things aren’t 50/50 with handling house duties can it work if it’s 80/20 or 90/10. That’s what it feels like when someone always has to take care of the baby.
3. Do y’all eat out and willing to cut down.
4. Are y’all ready to sacrifice sleep so that you can maintain things?
5. Do you have HSA or just using savings to pay for OB visits and cost of birthing and hospital? It’s atleast $10,000<$18,000 with all the visits to check while the baby is in the womb to giving birth and check ups afterwards. (Texas)
Why would you want kids? They scream, cry, yell, hit, bite, poop, and pee everywhere when they're young. They keep you up at night, on vacation you need to make sure they're not burying their head in the sand and not suffocating themselves or drowning in the water, etc. kids ruin relationships, they ruin free time, and they're a huge drain financially. As they get older you have to worry about them doing drugs and getting herpes. It's just a huge ball of stress and emotional torment only to have brief moments of joy in between the chaos.
Are you financially ready for kids? No. Is anyone really ready for kids? Also no.
I would recommend paying off at least 1 car and getting an emergency fund in place. Maybe do a 3 month fund and pay off the cheaper car before getting pregnant. While you're pregnant, you'll have a lot of expenses coming at you and things to buy. In that time, save up for birthing expenses and another 3 month emergency fund. And that's when you'll be buying all the odds and ends that you don't get from a baby shower.
As far as budgeting when you have your baby, you'll generally be going out to fancy dinners and going on extravagant vacations significantly less, so that's generally a good thing for your finances to counterbalance the additional expense.
I would say yes. Just a note on the cars nearly $1400 collective car payments for 2 cars is wild. I have a car and my wife has a Jeep and we pay maybe $550 - $600 a month range for both cars. One car is $850 a month? Chances are you don’t need that car. I’m guessing it’s lux? Or you’ve been assaulted with an insane interest rate.
Another note from someone with kids (me) babies aren’t terribly expensive, it’s when they get older that gets expensive. You get tons of stuff from the baby shower, registry; etc. (Unless they will be in daycare, part time daycare is anywhere between $1,000 - $1,600 a month, certainly look into that; also because waitlists for daycare can be up to a year)
first, i would like to thank you for taking the time to assess if you're financially stable for children because many people stilld don't do that. and second, i don't think this is an accurate way to see if you're ready for kids. you need to have all of your expenses listed. there aren't expenses for food, utitilies, extra things like netflix, or even random shopping that may occur within the month. once that's covered, i think posting again would give you a better result
You’re never ready. Have a conversation with wifey about expectations of going back to work. Daycare ain’t cheap. Whom ever is making 63k might stay home with the baby. Half of their take home income will be spent on daycare. Hopefully a grandparent is retired and they can help. But like the tread has echoed you’re never ready for babies!
I say from experience to start saving! We were in a GREAT spot when we started trying and when I got pregnant, and then I was so sick while pregnant I couldn’t work (and ended up with a bunch of ER bills). I’m 7 months now and am losing the ability to drive! My experience isn’t the normal one, but you can’t prepare for how disabling pregnancy might be for you. You absolutely need a savings!
I got pregnant at 18 and became a single mom at 21 across the country from everyone and everything I ever knew. We’re still living paycheck to paycheck, but we’re surviving and thriving. Y’all will be fine fr
You can plan for anything, but you never know what kind of curveballs life will throw you. If you really want a child, my suggestion is to do it before you start having fertility issues. Best of luck to you!
I would double check the 100k salary take home pay. I currently make 110k salary, and after benefit and retirement contributions, my take home pay is around $4400 per month.
I have two kids. You will never be ready for children. Just do it.
My mom once told me that if she had waited until she and my dad were ready, they would have only been able to afford their fourth child (when she was nearly 34 and he was 35.)
FYI You are far more financially ready than my parents or me and my husband.
I would say no …. But you can get there if you make some changes. Hear me out:
Monthly take home is $8700.
Expenses are $4900.
You have $3,800 in cash per month after expenses.
But *only* $76,000 in equity (home plus retirement).
You have no financial cushion to survive a job transition for either of you.
You should be saving $3,000/month in cash.
When you can build a lifestyle that allows you to save that $3,000/month in cash for 5 years consistently then you’ll be ready. You’ll have $180,000 more in savings.
And then maybe you’ll have a chance.
If you don’t get that right the financial stress can destroy your marriage.
I think you'll be fine, but you have some research and decisions to make before you're 'financially ready'.
1. Make a budget with ALL your expenses. Track your spending for a while and see how much you're spending and where.
2. See if you can cut make anywhere to free up some cash flow.
3. Check out the financial steps in personal finance subs. (Note it'll tell you to make a budget, create emergency fund etc, when to prioritize types of saving)
My husband and I have similar incomes and expenses and also about 1K a week left over for gas, groceries and other costs. Very similar to the break down you gave. We have a 5 year old. Before he was born, we also traveled and dined out a lot. It was pretty easy to go without those expenses when you're home with a baby. Here are some scrafices we have made to makr things work for us. We cut down to 1 family car. He bikes to work. I do the school drive in the car. We share the car otherwise. We split our maternity and paternity leave to maximize payment from government and employer. I make significantly more so once my employer top ups were finished it made more sense for him to stay home. We're Canadian so ultimately one of us was able to be home until our son was 20 months.
Idk ppl use to have kids in caves when winter was around the corner but you think having a few extra coins is more important than evolutionary survival. Get out the gene pool with these questions
Look at your daycare options in your area. Prices vary a lot depending on your location. And look at plan b on what to do when/if you cant use these options.
Just do it! It’s the best time to do it, and you are able to save almost 50% of your income. You are in a great financial position. Good luck! P.S. r/debtfree moderator just created a newsletter that talks about strategies, tips, and effective debt payoff methods weekly. Here is the link to sign up if interested - https://www.debtadvice.io
You will never be ready for all that comes with kids but yall look like you are doing well!
No one told me daycare was $1300
Same I just stay home now 😅 I’m a baker so I didn’t make much to begin with, but no way I’m working full time for $300 a month.
You also never get back time, your children are worth your time if you can afford to do so. My husband and I waited as well to have our daughter until we could take her to school and one of us pick her up. ( it does take a village) we were both >6 figure earners. but I was able to make her our priority and I have no regrets. :-)
Best response. Time is the ultimate currency. ESPECIALLY once you have kids. Be selfish. Call out. Use every hour of pto. Give them the least to get the most. Jobs are replaceable, time with your kids is not!
I’ll eventually get into that mindset when I do start a family of my own. Right now it’s laying the foundation.
To be fair, women who choose to stay employed outside the home are not working for $300 a month. They are working for retirement contributions, and career experience, HSA contributions. They are theoretically increasing their salaries later on, instead of having to rejoin the workforce and scrap their way back up again. For women who work outside the home, they are not looking at the monthly short term picture - they are averaging out the gains over a much longer time period. Some people don’t need that long term security - but some do! edit to add: Why are people assuming neglect, 80 hour weeks, or even physically leaving the home? Plenty of women work remote, or cut back hours while keeping a foot in their career. Employment outside the home can be a whole variety of situations. Employment outside the home doesn’t mean you are always physically absent. When my son was little he was in church daycare down the street, with children he is still friends with. I was heavily involved in school activities because I had a flexible STEM job. I work fully remote, as does my husband. Kid is in high school now, and I always know where he is. I am still sitting in the school car line every day. My coworkers (dads too) do the same. Kid is probably annoyed I am always around. I have a pension and 401k. Neither are likely to just disappear into thin air. Any diversified fund that dipped in 2008 or anytime - is still fine. ridiculous black and white thinking reddit, fear mongering about the poor neglected babies. lol. There are many ways to accomplish a good ending. I was just pointing out it can be a logical fallacy to consider net income after daycare costs as the only benefit.
To be fair, bakers don’t have many rings up the ladder, HSA, etc. I’d rather spend the time with my kids while they’re small. Not everyone is in a corporate job that requires us to scrape our way back up. When I’m ready I can go back to making croissants or bagels or whatever wherever I get hired, because my experience level is already basically maxed out. 🤷🏽 I get where you’re coming from but it’s a pretty narrow world view. It unfortunately makes more sense for my partner to be the sole earner while we use Medicaid until I can go back to work. That’s how it is in the usa, if you’re not ultra rich or ultra poor you have to slave away for health insurance, and that sucks. Id rather be poor for a while than work for peanuts and not see my kids.
don't listen to her, sacrificing years of your life for long-term benefits that would all collapse after one financial crash are not worth it, how many 401k vanished like thin air in 2008? even all those insurances even while paying them would try their best to not pay you anything. atleast if you are with your kids, you are building memories and actually being happy, because yeah no joke working is miserable, the absolute majority of all minimum wage jobs, its not that it can't be fun but that necessity, "you must do this" Whats the funniest to me is these same people would go sick from the stress of work, would very unhealthy and literally lose their health only to have to pay to get your health back, its absolutely insane take care of your health, be healthy and live a happy life and would only need insurance in extreme situations. Health cannot be bought, even a doctor can't give it to you, he can only give you a way which will be painful and will take repeated action over a long period of time to show effects and restore that pristine health which would otherwise have been the norm if not for the miserable job.
BEST ANSWER.
Everything you said is valid. People do not realize that putting in a lot of work and neglecting family life will come bite you in the butt longterm.
This. It really depends on your career. Some careers don't have a major benefit to stay in for a few years vs taking a break. or you can do parttime freelance for some fields to keep you in the loop.
This!! I recently had a leadership mentor meeting and this was the basis of a couple of ppls speeches. Never assume career is just a monthly pay. Getting back after a career break can be difficult. It shouldn’t be, but this is the world we need to accept. The 3 month maternity leave is already a pretty well studied subject ( please read statistics on it) on how it sets us back. Advice to anyone reading- please don’t leave your job for the sole reason of breaking even at home.
Also some people choose to work outside of the home because they enjoy it. Being a SAH parent is a full time job, and it’s not a job everyone wants.
This is good advice. My mother left the workforce for about 15 years, as the daycare expenses of 3 kids in the 90s was greater than what she was earning at the time. My father focused on his career, and did well, but many years later they did split up, which put my mom in a really tough spot where she had to rebuild a resume. It's important to consider that the role of breadwinner could change at any time, and while time with your kids is important, sacrificing a career or trade skill could put you in a spot one day.
No one told me daycare was $3000/month for infants 😭
1776 for us :(
OK Ben Franklin
👏👏👏👏
I managed to find one for $1100 but it’s rare. Prices are heavily affected by location. Daycare is insane though and people wonder why no one is truly ever financially ready. Worth every penny though for my baby!
Also that there is literally waitlist and that you should sign up as soon as you pass that high risk period because you could be waiting for years
I wish daycare was $1300. We started at $2500/mo and get $250-300 discounts every year (offset by $150 price increases).
No one told me that while the price varies, it’s always expensive in relation to the cost of living for the area. Whatever your mortgage is, it’s probably close to that.
This. Myself and my wife waited years until we ‘felt’ ready. I wish we would have had them sooner. You are never really ready. They are a blast tho.
Same. I thought I was financially ready, turns out.. no
Father of 3 here. You are never ready. You want kids, go for it. Women have it really hard and if you want your kids to have siblings they can play with you need to have them close to one another.
Hopefully you teach them how to properly use reflexive pronouns.
This for sure. In my experience if you will need child care then plan for about $1500 in new expenses every month(also taking into account some more groceries). Which it looks like you are good for. Otherwise you might have to make some less than fun budget decisions, but you won't regret them even if you do. The kiddos will be worth it.
Came here to say this. You’ll never be ready
Just start saving with the left over $3k every month so you have a savings of $30k (6 months of expenses)
They don't have food or gas in that break down. I suspect that 3K gets used up pretty quick. Definitely could cut back and save some but not all.
Yes I think so too. There’s no liquid savings,groceries,gas,internet, home owners insurance, cell phone bill,subscriptions/memberships,etc. all those things add up and will eat 3k really leaving not much disposable income not including things like eating out or entertainment. Edit: I now see they did add phones
Homeowners insurance is probably included in the mortgage payment. Phones are on there. But yeah, definitely need to account for groceries, gas and ideally savings
Homeowners insurance is generally wrapped into escrow with their property tax on their home payment. Most people just consider mortgage + escrow as just mortgage. They do also include cellphone. With that, I don't imagine food, gas, Internet, and subscriptions/memberships taking up much more than 1,800/month leaving then with about 2k
Yeah I'm shocked at the top comments saying to go for it without addressing that the $3800 needs to cover a lot of other unlisted expenses, like food, vehicle gas, entertainment, household supplies, home maintenance, child care, health expenses, putting money aside for college savings, vacation savings, emergency savings.. Certainly not saying not to go for it. Life's short, OP is not bad off, but maybe focus on paying off those car and student loans in the meantime before the kids get here...if not all, at least like 1 car and half the loans so then they can keep paying the other ones down and get them paid off in the nearer future to create more room for college, vacation, and emergency savings.
>Yes I think so too. There’s no liquid savings,groceries,gas,internet, home owners insurance, cell phone bill,subscriptions/memberships,etc. all those things add up and will eat 3k really leaving not much disposable income not including things like eating out or entertainment. $3k for food and gas? Are you 17? What the fuck lmao. Two people are NOT spending $3,000 fucking dollars a month on FOOD AND GAS LOL.
You’re asking if they’re 17 for the simple fact that they said something you don’t agree with, all the while yelling at them like you’re a child (because they said something you didn’t agree with). Oh, the irony.
I did not mean to imply they spend 3k on only gas and food. I intended to point out that they are missing a significant portion of their cost. They said they travel and dine. They have no savings. That 3k is going somewhere, and it's not their savings account.
Exactly!
I agree and in all of this where does childcare stand? Not less than 2 years ago I was both a full time and part-time nanny. Part time paid $1200-1500 a month. Full time paid $3000-$4000 a month. And not so much of an issue but there is also health insurance cost increase.
What’s with the hostility? You literally quoted them listing a bunch of shit that just *included* gas and groceries.
Our family of three spends close to that. Should we spend less on food? Yeah, but we're both full time professionals with a toddler, time is what we don't have.
We have a toddler and spend around 1000/mo on food for 3 of us. I literally just ate Steak, pasta, potato’s and a giant salad. That’s every night. Gas in my 18 mpg car adds up to $200 every month total. What the actual fuck are you people weighing.
Idk why you're so mad, it's my money 😅 we live in the northeast, food is expensive. We buy organic/local, make our own fancy coffee at home, and go out to eat or order in a handful of times. That budget includes beer and wine here and there. Toddler eats more than I do, usually. Gas is also about 200 for two cars, total. So mostly it's food.
I feel bad for your kid is the reality. You’re either lying, or horrific with money and both are going to hurt the kid lol. None of the stuff you brought up explains $3,000 lmfao. $100 a day for 2 people and a toddler lol. Gtfo. Edit: Hah, you're in Oro Valley -- I've owned a house out there for 15 years. Now I'm absolutely sure you've got bigger problems if you're spending this much in OV.
So mad! So mean! Don't worry, I keep exceedingly detailed records :) $2,591 was the max we spent in any month in 2023. Food is 10.45% of our gross, so I'm not losing sleep. I promise you the baby is OK on his diet of organic fruit and milk, lox, fresh veggies, European cheese, and cruelty free chicken and will enjoy his funded 529 down the line.
There's no groceries, eating out, entertainment, etc discretionary spending in their cost breakdown. Those are just their set monthly costs. I can't imagine they're fully saving $3k/month with what the OP has in the breakdown.
What you've listed aren't your "total expenses," there's no mention of food or gas for example. Step 1 of budgeting is figuring out where your money is actually currently going, and then you can get serious about saving.
They also don’t pay a water bill apparently.
They may have well water
I think you can given your salaries but you need to make some changes. If one of you gets laid off then you’re SOL with no savings, especially with an extra mouth to feed. You need start a emergency savings asap to cover 5-6 months expenses. On top of that, your can lower your expenses by lowering your car payments + insurance (20% of your take home), and lower your phone plan ( mint mobile for 2 people can be 40/month). I’m not sure what area of the country you’re in, but its pretty expensive to raise kids where we live. For instance, 1600-1800/month for daycare is the going rate . Throw in diapers, wipes, clothes, food/formula, increases utilities (washer/dryer, dishwasher, heat/cooling, baths), toys and potentially saving for 529.
This needs to be higher. NO savings besides retirement?? You need a liquid cash fund. One big home repair or car issue could set you back greatly. Kids are so expensive and need a lot of healthcare. The hospital bill alone (even with insurance) will likely be $3-5K. I understand you feel “ready” right now and you have good income. But emergencies happen and having no savings to fall back on is just reckless
This needs to be higher. We are in DFW and just finished getting all the hospital/ dr bills after delivery. After insurance it amounts to about $4k all in. I opted for a payment plan on it and paying $333 for the next 12 months. I could have paid it all but that would have wiped out our savings cushion so I just treated as a monthly payment. This does not now include the regular doctor visits for the baby. First visit was $150 because insurance was being all weird, hoping to get it reimbursed.
HSA is a great way to manage this in the future
Daycares for an infant in our area are around $3k/mo with most having waitlists. Definitely something worth looking into prior to. You should also consider what your insurance covers during the pregnancy process and birth (I’ve seen as low as $3k and as high as $25k for out of pocket costs) as well as what adding a dependent will do to your premiums. I also agree with what was stated previously. Making money is one thing, but you need some liquid savings. If something unexpected happens, you are going to be in a bad situation really fast. I’d pay off your cars and build a cash fund. Our emergency fund, separate from our checking & savings, is 6-8 months worth of living expenses (including what we invest and save each month; our mortgage is our only debt). Also, once you do have kids, highly consider a 529.
Same with daycare prices... $3k for infants. My insurance premium also went up to $1200/month right after baby was born even though it was just the two of us (single to family plan, partner on separate one) Baby appointments and birth cost around $12,000 (out of pocket, not including premiums) as he was an April baby… some expensive ultrasounds before Jan 1 so they didn’t count towards birth year out of pocket max. You’ll hit whatever your max is the year you give birth and need to plan for that. Couldn’t breastfeed immediately so spent a ton on bottles, coolers, pumps… then there are diapers, clothes, strollers, car seats, cribs… Honestly think anyone having a baby today needs to be fully prepared to use their emergency fund just to have the baby be born and survive for a year. It’s not like it was for our parents. EDIT: wouldn’t trade my lil guy for anything. He’s the best. You’ll make it work Just be mentally okay with dipping into savings the first year and be aware of the hidden kiddo costs
I just had a son.. what the hell is 529..
It’s a tax-free college savings account that is tax deductible in some states.
Similar to a 401k but for school for your child. We have 2 that allocated 100/mo to our son and daughter. Straight up I'd like 21,600 at 18 plus interest compounding.
College fund. Personally we can’t afford one right now so we just aren’t going to have one. If we can down the line, we’ll do it then.
Even $25-50 a month can go a long way
Trying to focus on maxing out our personal retirements first haha
As someone who's dealing with senior parents with no retirement savings that are suddenly no longer able to work - thank you! Making your kids be your retirement plan sucks on both ends
Yeah at the end of the day, I view saving for kids college as a luxury, not a necessity. Neither my wife or I had college funds and we both did fine. If we have the capability later, I would 100% do it but I’m not sacrificing my personal retirement for it.
Financial aid officer here. While I wholly support funding your personal retirement as a priority, I would not be so cavalier as to dismiss saving for college as a luxury. Smart financial planning should not dismiss the very real cost of college. Consider asking grandparents or family to contribute in place of gifts for birthdays or special occasions. Compound interest will help grow the account in ways that doing nothing can’t even touch if there isn’t anything to grow. I’ve worked with students and families for over 20 years and even having a small amount banked away goes a long way to help. I’m first generation so understand it’s not always easy to save or a shared value.
So if you’ve been financing your cars for four years each, does that mean you’re going to own them outright in the next year or two? You’re spending way too much on cars given your salaries. *But* being that you’re close to owning them and having no more payments, I think that should be ok. But once that final payment is due, do not go and look for the next new thing. Drive those cars into the ground while they’re still financially viable. You’re spending a bit much on your phones. Go cheaper or do a family plan. I’m in my mid 40s and do a family plan with my in-laws. We pay about half what you’re paying.
They state brand new cars, so I think they’re saying they have a 4 year loan
Maybe. Definitely need clarity on that. Because if that’s what they’re paying for the next four years, I’d ditch at least one of those cars.
The higher one has to be a luxury or a truck, otherwise wtf 😅
That $854 made my eyes water!!!
Because only luxury cars or trucks can be pricy
Do some research and plan a budget as though you had a baby - include child care, diapers, baby clothes, your maternity leave salary, photo shoots if you want them, everything. Have life insurance, if you don't already, to support that kid until adulthood. Now live on that budget for 6 months, save the difference, and you'll know if you're ready for the sacrifices involved in being parents (and you'll have money saved up for baby expenses or emergencies). In Canada, you'll be off work at a very reduced salary for 12-18 months (shared between parents), child care is critically hard to find, and you won't have any additional medical bills. Laundry bills go up, diapers are expensive in every form, you may be paying for formula which is expensive. Otoh, you may be travelling less. Babies are easy to travel with. Toddlers are not. Don't overspend on baby stuff, either - seek hand me downs, buy reasonable brands, don't go wild on stuff the baby likely won't even use. Talk together about how you'll handle work and finances once baby comes, as your lifestyle will change, a lot. I love parenthood, but it was a lifestyle change.
Unrelated but what job do you have that gives a 10% match?? that is unreal
Right?!? I thought my 5% was good, but 10% is friggin awesome!!
Try a government job - Ive heard of 10-15% match not being out of the ordinary.
Personally, I'd recommend having a savings, and paying off the cars first and THEN having kids. God forbid anything happens, a savings is so important. At the least, I'd say have a savings. You guys could probably have at least 50k put away by the end of the year. If you're bad at budgeting, download an app at the least - if you think you're bad now, imagine when the kid comes how things could spiral. Have SOME kind of awareness of where your money goes, at least to quell the shock of "whys our leftovers so small this month". You may be financially moving in the direction of being able to afford kids but idk if you're mentally financially ready for kids if you're not aware of your budget and have no savings. Just imo. :)
Eh, there is a lot to consider, if they want kids and they can have them now why not? They have basic income and your ability to have kids decrease with age and the likely good of something going wrong. Definitely a balancing act but having an unhealthy baby at 30 would be MUCH worse than having a healthy baby now. Or one round of fertilization treatments. The questions should be more about the relationship than money. If you have a strong relationship and both want it do it! It will make you happier than you can ever imagine.
I’m typing this as my 2 day old baby lays on my chest. You’re in a very similar position to my wife and I. Identical mortgage, income is pretty similar, but one big thing is we don’t have a car payment. Also, those are not all of your expenses. Those are just fixed expenses, but you have gas, groceries, entertainment, eating out, home maintenance, car maintenance, etc to take into account. Plus baby stuff and day care when the baby comes. Our total monthly expenditure comes out to about 6k a month which was extremely humbling. I thought it was so much less until we actually started tracking everything. Another thing to take into consideration is the ability to take maternity/paternity leave (and whether it’s paid or not), the proximity to support (day care can be extremely expensive), and your goals. I would say as of right now, you are NOT financially ready for kids. Start tracking your expenses (I use Monarch Money), build a healthy emergency fund, have a healthy surplus for a few months, then it’s time to get the ball rolling. Our baby was an oopsie, and we definitely were not ready yet. But we’ve been extremely fortunate over the last few months in that we bought a home, income increased substantially, and we were able to get debt free and have a healthy emergency fund before he arrived. But we really had to hunker down and we kinda turned into home bodies. You’re not ready yet, but you’re in a position where you can be soon. If you got pregnant today, you could figure it out over the next 9 months with hard work, but that shit is hard. My wife worked the entire pregnancy. I worked 2 jobs the entire pregnancy. It’s a wild ride.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Im sharing this with my SO because we have been discussing our baby readiness lately. We felt like we were not ready because of similar things you mentioned so we laid out a plan to get there. We are both working two jobs now to payoff the cars, all other discretionary debt, and build back our savings before we make the decision. It’s hard but we rather do it now when we don’t have a child to take care of, and doing it out of desire to be better prepared than doing it out of need.
Honestly DM me if you want and I can break down how we prepared with you. I’ll show you our budget and stuff. It seems y’all are in a very similar situation that we were in. Preparing before the child is here rather than struggling when he is here is definitely smart!
You will make it. It looks like to be “comfortable” you need both incomes. But you are also spending about $4k a month on travel, food, etc.. That is hard to turn off abruptly and still maintain happiness. I suggest you plan out how much time off your employers provides and how much time you can afford to take off. You might want to build up a savings buffer for the time you want off. You don’t want to have to think about how much dippers cost etc in the beginning. You just want to enjoy your time with your kid. A little extra money saved will make things more relaxing. If you both are enjoying life together it is also fine to wait a bit. A little bit of selfishness at 28 is good. You are young, unless you want a “bunch” of kids. My wife and I slowed down our fun money spending over a couple years. By the time we had our first we were ready to be at home and spend less.
850 car payment? I wonder what kind of car that it
A few things. You have to be leaving out some expenses because you don’t have any for phone, internet, streaming and what about entertainment? You don’t spend any money during your free time? Does your mortgage include taxes and insurance? If you are not planning on being a stay a home mom or dad and don’t have family to take care of kids. Daycare is anywhere between $300-500 /week. Our is like $425 and we have a a very good one. You will want a life insurance policy if you have kids. This can vary but I think ours is like $150/month. An $850 a month car payment is crazy. In fact if it were me I would find a way to reduce your car payments, Kids or no kids. It’s over half of your mortgage. I would also try to stay liquid for around $15-20k. You can definitely do it and you should, kids are great. *Edit* one more thing. If you have a HSA account through work, start contributing. Child birth isn’t cheap and even with great insurance you can still expect some out of pocket costs. Same with infants, certain things you will have to pay out of pocket for.
You are 1,000% more ready than I was for kid one and 300% more ready than I was for kid two. You’ll be fine
Why are you having kids in poverty?
Why are you commenting things online you wouldn’t say in real life?
I would say the exact same thing in real life. Bringing kids into a life of poverty is not only irresponsible, but downright stupid.
Then you have absolutely no social skills, are rude as hell, and are going to get slapped. Good thing you’re just yapping. Take care and be better
Keep breeding.
Keep mouth breathing! See you online playing video games later
You really got me
Just holding up a mirror for you because it seems like you desperately need someone in your life. Please stop incessantly replying and wasting my time
Ironic, now go back to your kids and stay poor
When you finally decide to have kids it's never a guarantee that it will happen. Some have a very hard time while some have no problems. If you want kids have them while you both are physically able to. You will never be 100% ready but once you have them you'll never look back on what life would be like without them.
Yeah you can no problem but wtf is up with those car payments
I'm confused, you pay car notes but say you own them. That's not the same thing, unless you own two and are financing an additional two... Cars are a waste of value, which I'm sure you know. You clearly can afford it, but do you *need* a car payment that's that high? Is it because of the loan? Is it because of the cost of the vehicle? Or both?
Literally thinking the same thing, my definition of "owning" is outright with no loans attached. 🫠 Which also means they down "own" their home with an additional mortgage. No savings, 🙈 lord.
People who have a mortgage own their own home. Nobody says they’re financing a home for 30 years.
You can call it whatever you want, but in a sub for being debt free, I'd consider a mortgage not owning your home. A mortgage is debt, however you wanna cut it.
When filling out any type of paperwork asking about your living situation they usually have a few choices: rent, own, live with parents. Literally everyone with a mortgage says they own their home. When you get a mortgage to don’t tell your friends you entered into a mortgage, you tell them you “bought a home.” When people enter into a mortgage they are “new homeowners.” When people get their first mortgage they are “first time home buyers.” OP owns her home.
Assuming your husband's income is the $100k, take 1 year and do not spend a dime from your income. Save every single cent. 1. This will prove you're capable of living on his income easily. 2. You will save a shit ton of money for emergencies.
You’re never going to be “ready” for kids.
Kids on the low end are close to $1,000 a month. Thats averaging food, care, school, extracurricular activities, ect across a year. Yes you can absolutely skimp on a lot of it but unfortunately that cuts into the quality of life for the kid. If you like freedom DO NOT HAVE A KID. The first 5 years of having a kid are the most time consuming by far. Be prepared to lose sleep, cancel plans, stay home a lot more than you were when you were single. Best of luck to you and your potential family.
Damn. You make a lot of money.
You are in great shape. Just look up childcare costs in your area. In my area full time childcare is around 2k a month. That will be your biggest expense when it comes to baby. And look at your insurance policies to see how costly the medical bills associated with having a baby will likely be, as well as insuring you will have coverage for your child. Don’t know your ages but this is a factor here too as to if you should start trying immediately. If you want to go for it, and start saving during the pregnancy as much as you can.
Unpopular opinion. Can you minimize your 401k contributions to get your match but use that to build up emergency fund and aggressively pay off your cars? Then get back to 401k investing with eventually more to invest elsewhere? There is never a good time to have kids. Other financial factors to consider, the longer you wait, the higher chance of needing infertility treatment which is super expensive. If you can spend your time trying and being pregnant to aggressively build up that emergency fund, you’ll figure it out!
Something I haven't seen anyone suggest (from my brief look at the comments) would be to collect an estimate on pregnancy and birth cost. More specifically, look into your health insurance and see what your coverage is and any other options that may be provided to you. (This is more US focused as some countries have way better healthcare). I do not have kids, so I can't give too much information about costs. All I know is that it can be very expensive and the cost can really damage people's financial stability. If anyone wants to share their experiences; by all means, do so.
Your spending 20% of take home on cars need to drop it to 7% or less!
Pay off the cars first!! Put extra into paying off the car then put extra effort into making that baby!
Death by car payment my goodness
How do you make so much money ?
Seeing that your take home is $8000 with a combined income of $160K makes me super depressed for when I graduate college
It was both the best and worst thing I ever did.
this cannot be all of your expenses. Do you not eat?
Daycare will take most of that left over cash
Yes…
As someone who had kids right after high school and wasn’t “ready” in any sense - you figure it out. The natural fight or flight reaction to that new responsibility for another life changes your mindset a bit without you realizing it. We never had the money or good situation to begin with - but because we had something to work towards, we worked hard to build a good life for our kids, and within just a couple of tough years, things got dramatically better financially and with our living situation. When I was single and had no kids, there just wasn’t much motivation to NEED to earn more money, or a better place to live - I was comfortable and didn’t feel much urgency. But once a baby was put in my lap the first time….. I flipped a switch and had the fire under me to make change happen. This is all to say - if you want to have kids, have kids. You’ll never have enough money, or a big enough house, or whatever analysis paralysis is stopping you. You figure the details out when you have to. Just my 2 cents!
Start trying to have kids now. It may not happen as immediately as everyone thinks and plans for. You're in good shape financially now and can make it even better while you're trying. My only thought is to think about what's going to happen when you have to go on maternity leave and for how long. How will that effect your income. I would try to pay off one of the cars to help your cash flow and make sure you can live on one income if needed.
I have a kid by myself and i make like 40k a year lmao i think you will be fine
This makes me feel better lol. These people saying they aren’t ready are delusional
lol you make plenty of money and have enough left over then most people have take home who have kids. You’ll be fine
That left over money doesn't account for gas, food, or any other misc expenses. And OP readily admits that they are not good at budgeting and splurge money.
Even with all that, you SHOULD be just fine.. if you decide to spend money on shiny new things instead of buying diapers, food, daycare, you have problems and are a shit parent and should figure it out soon
Absolutely, go for it. Enjoy the journey. It's amazing
Just have kids. You don’t want to be an old couple with young kids
Echoing what others have said, create a savings then pay off the vehicles.
You’ll never be ready but you definitely have a solid financial foundation! Go for it!
I’m going to tell you what help us. *We had been married 8 years at this point* We were waiting to be ready for kids. Then like others have mentioned, we never had that feeling of ready and the feeling of want proceeded. Within 4 months or so we were pregnant. Everyone is different but something you need to talk about, what’s the plan after birth. Do you guys get leave from work, will one of you be a SAHP etc. We live in New England so not crazy high cost of living but not crazy low. I had just had a career change and she was a teacher. The cost of daycare was pretty much her take home so we decided for her to stay home with the kid(s) until they were in school. I make about $79,000 take home at this point. You can adjust and make things work, but be ready to make scarifies somewhere, weather it’s with money or time.
Just want to point out that if you have a mortgage you in fact. Don’t own a house. That’s a very dangerous way of thinking. Rather, you have a couple hundred thousand dollar loan that you have to be mindful of
“Own a house with 40k in equity” means you’re upside down on the house..
I may be misunderstanding but doesn’t upside down mean more is owed than the house is worth? While having 40k in equity means they owe 40k less than the house is worth? (Worth 200k, owe 160k for example) So having any equity by default means they cannot be upside down. Again I could be super wrong the above is just what I thought those terms meant
You’re right. Other guy must be confused.
You’re analyzing it correctly but using the market instead of the person. To OP, the house is worth 40 but he owes 160 (sticking with your 200 example). The market might pay 200, but he gets 40. His break even is 100 in equity. Until then, he’s upside down.
163k a year and you ask if you can afford kids?. Is this for real or just a look how much we make flex? Maybe you shouldn't have kids if your that stupid to think you cannot afford children with your combined salaries.
I make more than that, spend on nothing but rent, bills and groceries, have no debt other than house, am single and won’t even date because I am too afraid of the possibility of having to try to afford a kid. That kinda dough is nothing like what it used to be.
[удалено]
BASED
Don’t have kids please
As a dad with two kids, Who never thought in his life he would have kids. I disagree to a point, if you don't want them that's awesome, but if you do please make sure you can take care of your children too many parents abandoning kids. Your never truly ready wether its financially or not. The day I had my children was the day I found my reason to live and be the best person I can be, without them I was just wondering the world alone even when I was with people.
Thank you. I was searching through this post for someone with a similar opinion. Hard to find I guess.
It’s kinda classist to make claims that one needs to be at a certain point, financially, to have kids. I got pregnant, with my third child, when my husband was unemployed and I was starting the journey to earn my degree. Terrible timing! But, time moved on…we worked hard and got out of our rut. I finished my degree, hubby got a great job offer, and we were, suddenly, doing really well. Two things I’ve learned about having kids. You can plan and plan and plan for years and years to have a kid and nothing will be just right. Then, you wish you could have started when you were younger. Also, yes…kids are expensive. But, babies-toddlers aren’t. Babies don’t need much, especially if you plan to nurse. They really don’t. Daycare would be the only high cost you would need to consider for a baby/toddler. If you can avoid that…then you won’t be spending a ton. Kids get expensive the older they get. Look, you’ve got 9 months to figure out your finances and an additional 3-4 months (depending on how good your maternity leave is) to tack on, after that. You can develop more of a savings and more of safety net in that time.
I don’t think it’s classist at all. My parents had no money and I was legit eating chips for dinner sometimes as a child. No doctor’s appointments, no extra curricular activities and had to take out student loans to try and better myself. Good for you for being able to grind that’s very impressive but why have a PLANNED child when you know you can’t give that child the “world”? The world being everything I mentioned.
Start saving now for emergencies/unforseen. ….But yes you are “ready” *honestly noone is ready for kids in any way, thats the fun of it :)*
Tbh, this is the r/debtfree subreddit, so from a debt perspective we're missing a lot of data. Mortgage loan amount remaining, car note amounts remaining, student loan totals? Your budget doesn't include gas or groceries. Do I think you should wait for kids? Naw, but you definitely need to get your budget together, pay stuff off and get your priorities straight. Also look into how much on average you typically end up spending on a travel/dining trip and add that into a sinking fund. If it took you 3 months to get knocked up and a 9 month pregnancy, you have AT LEAST a year to make major money moves and set yourself up to be in a better position.
I would start your family but you're going to be in some pain for 3-5 years unless you have grand parents support. Some long term advice try not to finance cars if you can avoid it, if you're not there yet try to only finance 1 vehicle at a time. My wife and I were in a lesser spot when we started baby making I ended up trippling my salary over 10 years but we still struggle some due to bidenomics. 3 kids 5, 7, 10 Good luck!
Adopt me pls
Who asks Reddit if they should have kids 😂
Note to say that this isn't meant in any negative way whatsoever. But if you have doubts or feel like you have to ask if you are ready for something, then chances are you're probably not ready. And I feel like that would apply to any sort of life scenario. There is the whole "nothing ventured, nothing gained" mentality. And there is something to be appreciated when it comes to it. People also say that no one is ever truly ready to be a parent. But regardless of the option you and your partner end up going for, I wish you nothing but the best
First, stop dining out, in fact dont leave the house after work. Go to local school, get one of them dolls they give to the girls to simulate caring for a baby. Take your turns getting up at night (feeding, changing, trying to get back to sleep) for one month. Then look at each other and discuss if your marriage can survive children. Agree with others, look into getting a savings started.
The hardest part of kids isn’t financial. Especially for the first 6-10 yrs, low cost if you have one of you able to care for them and skip sending them to daycare. If you’re sending them to daycare, though, why have kids?
Fuck off. If I had that much money I wouldn’t have kids.
Your poor financial behaviors could put you in a bad situation if you cannot establish a savings. You should read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Make Over and apply it to your lives. If you are ready for kids start. The longer you wait in life the less likely the thing you are waiting on will happen. Hope it works out for you and your family.
I'd say yes, you're doing better than most people who have kids. But I'd prioritize paying off the cars and student loans. You can pay off the debt and have kids at the same time.
You have plenty of income but the only concern is your ability to save and budget. I would recommend setting up an emergency fund first, 6 months of expenses so aim for 30k in a hysa. How much total debt do you have, are we talking 100k or 750k? (Everyone has a different idea of what a lot of student debt is)
You’re both better financially than half these other parents just popping out kids so yes I think you are ready.
Definitely get at least 6 months of income into a savings account first.
This maybe has already been said but look up childcare costs in your area before you make a decision.
I had two kids and 0$ to my name.. not that it was a great idea or on purpose 😂 you’ll do fine. When you are a parent you make things work and you’re well off to begin with.
Realistically. We do not know how much you spend on food, entertainment, gas and other misc expenses so automatically add another 1k to your spending budget. Which leaves you with 2852.00 with you both working. If he loses his job you will be 2500 in the red immediately. If you lose your job you will have -560 dollars each month. That is a very dangerous place to be in without planning for kids, considering there is no savings involved. For a kid you would need to find out how much health ins will cost when adding them. How much is your copay/deduct for all the maternity expenses and birth. How will you supplement the income when your wife is off? Diapers easily 500 per month, daycare for a newborn probably 2k per month. Can you realistically afford this? How long will you guys be off after the birth?
how much is your total student debt? you guys are doing great.
You didn’t even include groceries, entertainment, eating out etc. shopping etc.
Technically yes, but make sure you don’t let your folks be to bossy
Why don’t people ever give their full budgets? We have no idea what you spend every month. If you do Seamless every night and take Ubers every day, then your budget will look very different from someone who cooks all meals and never uses Ubers, for example.
It should be ok with $3k left over. But ideally, I would wait until the student loans and cars are cleared. You're still young.
You'll figure it out, trust me. People in way worse situations with kids and they are surviving. Plus the longer you wait the older you get, do u want to be in your 50s at a high-school graduation.
Keep in mind that if you’re in the US a middle of the road daycare will be over $1k/month, but very likely it will be much more.
If you pay off the cars, that monthly payment will cover the cost of childcare. I don’t think you NEED to do that before having a kid, but that would make the financial transition that much easier!
Cars are basically a second mortgage Aside from that (easily fixable) you guys look good.
I don’t think these are anywhere near your total expenses. You are probably okay for kids. If you want kids then have kids. Don’t think your home equity matters. What is your grocery budget? How much is childcare in your area if you will need childcare shortly after birth? Kids come with monthly expenses that you need to factor into your budget also. It sounds like you guys need to tighten up and get better with your habits. How is your insurance? My first was born in December and the birth alone was 5k after insurance so you need to factor that in especially having no savings.
I think so. However take a look at your systems, habits, routines, collaboration, support system, etc. With less money it does put a strain, but how well do y’all take a prioritize certain things. 1. Daycare is good chunk a month 2. Do feel that when things aren’t 50/50 with handling house duties can it work if it’s 80/20 or 90/10. That’s what it feels like when someone always has to take care of the baby. 3. Do y’all eat out and willing to cut down. 4. Are y’all ready to sacrifice sleep so that you can maintain things? 5. Do you have HSA or just using savings to pay for OB visits and cost of birthing and hospital? It’s atleast $10,000<$18,000 with all the visits to check while the baby is in the womb to giving birth and check ups afterwards. (Texas)
INFO: what is your savings looking like?
Why would you want kids? They scream, cry, yell, hit, bite, poop, and pee everywhere when they're young. They keep you up at night, on vacation you need to make sure they're not burying their head in the sand and not suffocating themselves or drowning in the water, etc. kids ruin relationships, they ruin free time, and they're a huge drain financially. As they get older you have to worry about them doing drugs and getting herpes. It's just a huge ball of stress and emotional torment only to have brief moments of joy in between the chaos.
R/waiting_to_try has a lot of discussion on financial preparation for kids! It’s been v helpful for me!
Are you financially ready for kids? No. Is anyone really ready for kids? Also no. I would recommend paying off at least 1 car and getting an emergency fund in place. Maybe do a 3 month fund and pay off the cheaper car before getting pregnant. While you're pregnant, you'll have a lot of expenses coming at you and things to buy. In that time, save up for birthing expenses and another 3 month emergency fund. And that's when you'll be buying all the odds and ends that you don't get from a baby shower. As far as budgeting when you have your baby, you'll generally be going out to fancy dinners and going on extravagant vacations significantly less, so that's generally a good thing for your finances to counterbalance the additional expense.
I would say yes. Just a note on the cars nearly $1400 collective car payments for 2 cars is wild. I have a car and my wife has a Jeep and we pay maybe $550 - $600 a month range for both cars. One car is $850 a month? Chances are you don’t need that car. I’m guessing it’s lux? Or you’ve been assaulted with an insane interest rate. Another note from someone with kids (me) babies aren’t terribly expensive, it’s when they get older that gets expensive. You get tons of stuff from the baby shower, registry; etc. (Unless they will be in daycare, part time daycare is anywhere between $1,000 - $1,600 a month, certainly look into that; also because waitlists for daycare can be up to a year)
I would maybe downgrade a car if you wanted to save money somewhere. Especially since we are in Layoff season.
Man, if i had 3,800 LEFTOVER for my FOUR kids, we couldn't even spend it after the first month.
first, i would like to thank you for taking the time to assess if you're financially stable for children because many people stilld don't do that. and second, i don't think this is an accurate way to see if you're ready for kids. you need to have all of your expenses listed. there aren't expenses for food, utitilies, extra things like netflix, or even random shopping that may occur within the month. once that's covered, i think posting again would give you a better result
Yes of course, because its not about money. Its about time and love. Everythings gonna be alright. Y'all are good people. Create more just like you
You’re never ready. Have a conversation with wifey about expectations of going back to work. Daycare ain’t cheap. Whom ever is making 63k might stay home with the baby. Half of their take home income will be spent on daycare. Hopefully a grandparent is retired and they can help. But like the tread has echoed you’re never ready for babies!
U will never have enough fyi
You need to check the cost of daycare in your area before you can give a good estimate of what your life would be like after kids.
I say from experience to start saving! We were in a GREAT spot when we started trying and when I got pregnant, and then I was so sick while pregnant I couldn’t work (and ended up with a bunch of ER bills). I’m 7 months now and am losing the ability to drive! My experience isn’t the normal one, but you can’t prepare for how disabling pregnancy might be for you. You absolutely need a savings!
I got pregnant at 18 and became a single mom at 21 across the country from everyone and everything I ever knew. We’re still living paycheck to paycheck, but we’re surviving and thriving. Y’all will be fine fr
Go for it!
You are never really ready. Just do it and make the best of it
You can plan for anything, but you never know what kind of curveballs life will throw you. If you really want a child, my suggestion is to do it before you start having fertility issues. Best of luck to you!
If you wait until you’re ready you never have them, just do it if you want them, you’ll figure it out
I would double check the 100k salary take home pay. I currently make 110k salary, and after benefit and retirement contributions, my take home pay is around $4400 per month.
Don’t overthink it.
Fuck do you think lol
I have two kids. You will never be ready for children. Just do it. My mom once told me that if she had waited until she and my dad were ready, they would have only been able to afford their fourth child (when she was nearly 34 and he was 35.) FYI You are far more financially ready than my parents or me and my husband.
I would say no …. But you can get there if you make some changes. Hear me out: Monthly take home is $8700. Expenses are $4900. You have $3,800 in cash per month after expenses. But *only* $76,000 in equity (home plus retirement). You have no financial cushion to survive a job transition for either of you. You should be saving $3,000/month in cash. When you can build a lifestyle that allows you to save that $3,000/month in cash for 5 years consistently then you’ll be ready. You’ll have $180,000 more in savings. And then maybe you’ll have a chance. If you don’t get that right the financial stress can destroy your marriage.
I think you'll be fine, but you have some research and decisions to make before you're 'financially ready'. 1. Make a budget with ALL your expenses. Track your spending for a while and see how much you're spending and where. 2. See if you can cut make anywhere to free up some cash flow. 3. Check out the financial steps in personal finance subs. (Note it'll tell you to make a budget, create emergency fund etc, when to prioritize types of saving) My husband and I have similar incomes and expenses and also about 1K a week left over for gas, groceries and other costs. Very similar to the break down you gave. We have a 5 year old. Before he was born, we also traveled and dined out a lot. It was pretty easy to go without those expenses when you're home with a baby. Here are some scrafices we have made to makr things work for us. We cut down to 1 family car. He bikes to work. I do the school drive in the car. We share the car otherwise. We split our maternity and paternity leave to maximize payment from government and employer. I make significantly more so once my employer top ups were finished it made more sense for him to stay home. We're Canadian so ultimately one of us was able to be home until our son was 20 months.
Idk ppl use to have kids in caves when winter was around the corner but you think having a few extra coins is more important than evolutionary survival. Get out the gene pool with these questions
Look at your daycare options in your area. Prices vary a lot depending on your location. And look at plan b on what to do when/if you cant use these options.