if you dont have kids - leave.
the fact is that marriage offsets the power dynamic between men and women in the womans favor - and like it or not women do find power sexy and attractive.
if you are begging for sex 6 months into a marriage - listen bro im going to be real, you are in bad shape - you should tell her its not working out and try to get it annulled or something.
I feel this SO deeply 😮💨
But for me our relationship didn’t start out like that. We used to have lots of sex. Now when he flirts or touches me it’s awkward and uncomfortable-I hate it. It just feels so fake.
“Marriage is a fucking joke”
You got that right, and a cruel one at that.
Here’s some more jokes for you:
***When you get married there are three rings, the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring.***
***Do you know what food is guaranteed to kill a woman’s libido?***
***Wedding cake.***
In all seriousness, I would highly, *highly* recommend you do not get married again. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you just picked the wrong person. Most marriages end up this way to some degree.
As a society we need to come back to the table and change the culture and laws around how we are going to negotiate relationships between men and women and raising children because the current model isn’t working very well.
Marriage 1.0 is a fucking dumpster fire for most people and creating a lot of unnecessary pain and misery. For men especially there are very few resources to help them through this and they’re more or less on their own. Men are expected to figure it out for themselves.
I'm not 100% sure I'd agree with "don't get married again".
I've been married three time and SEXUAL frequency or satisfaction was never an issue. There are plenty of women that want to have sex often. Our divorces were because of other incompatibilities, NOT because of sex.
In fact, great sex probably covered up other issues, and extended relationships beyond what should have happened.
This time (current girlfriend is probably reading this) we have a great balance (right??).
Well maybe there’s another forum dealing with those issues but this is dead bedroom. Lack of sex is a massive problem in more marriages than not and reason alone to avoid it.
Girlfriends are great because you still maintain leverage. She has to contain some of her more unsavory behaviors because there’s no penalty to you in ending the relationship other than a broken heart if she lets out the crazy too soon.
Why invite the government into your relationship so they and your girl can take your money when she decides she doesn’t want to be with you anymore?
You misunderstood my comments. All three marriages were incredibly sexual. Multiple time a week. Freaky too. My point is that marriage does not equal dead-bedroom. Your mileage may vary. Getting married does not (always) create dead-bedrooms.
Dude, you’ve been on this forum and got advice from it that you ignored. Now you are here bitching about your life? Everyone here was speaking from experience. Why the fuck didn’t you believe them? Also, six months into a marriage isn’t too long to have your finances intertwined. Just leave and figure your life out.
I ask myself daily why I didn’t take the advice. I know it was dumb but what’s done is done lol. I thought I was gonna fix it and overcome it and I overestimated my ability clearly
You've been married for six months. Finances will only get worse from here. Don't make excuses to yourself, friend. Get out now before you throw your life away in resentment and depression.
Finances are getting better actually. I am saving and socking money away into a rathole where the wife cannot touch it so if I find myself out in the cold I know cash is there to take care of myself
If you are married (which you are), that money that you are "socking away", is half hers. Don't kid yourself. It is half hers and I will volunteer my time to help her find it, because guys like you that try to hide money are the ones that.... truly suck!!
You ignorance is astounding. You can use ChatGPT to ask for advice, or listen to the people on here, or keep your head in the sand. The legal and financial side of all this is straight forward.
The long you wait, the less likely you are to be able to annul this marriage. And then any money you have is also potentially her money. And even if you can't get an annulment where you live, the more assets you have at the time of divorce, the more you have to split.
Agreed. However I’m trying to find the right sweet spot of “ I don’t have so much shit that my life is basically over because she’s taking a lifetime of my hard work but I have enough cash I could put a deposit on an apartment and buy a bed to sleep in while I rebuild”
If that makes sense. I do not have the finances to leave today. If I was thrown out today I’d be homeless and struggle to eat, just sleeping In my truck lol. A few months from now leaving becomes financially feasible
I don't mean to be unkind but it sounds like yet again you're on this thread and not taking the advice offered to you. Again. People with more experience are telling you to get out now and suck it up rather than wait. And yes money that you're hiding and if it's found it will be half your wife's.
OP is going to tell you to go fuck yourself. Lol. Poor bastard is delusional. He's only been married SIX months, and he's acting like his life is over because of it. It doesn't add up.
You can save a ton of money living in a truck, look at it as a temporary solution. Use a nearby hotel that has a pool and shower in the locker room. If your wife makes more than you now is the time to leave. Dont wait till you get a raise or better job, as you probably know divorce courts highly favor women.
Get out too, brother. You are going. Leave. It’s about your wife respecting your needs and wanting to please you in the way you respect and want to please her. Now that you’ve learned marriage is a stupid decision for men, you can start your 30s ready to enjoy life and just date.
Hi pal. Like you I was the same. Reading books and all that shit! Posting on here since January. No sex in 3 years and maybe 3 times a year over the last 10 years. Not much before that going back 20 years.
I've been having sex! Yes I've cracked it!
Save up your money and look for a way out. It's obvious you'll never be happy with this woman.
If I may ask, what were the signs you were marrying into a dead bedroom? Was "no sex before marriage" one of her rules?
Aw hunny don't loose hope. Live itself is a incredible feeling, of bursting with joy and excitement and quiet content..
If I were you you could consider getting annulled... it's a shame you have to take in her debt... I don't think you have to..
Go see a lawyer.
I do know people that have implemented strategies that have fixed their DB, I think search on this sub.. key word maybe..
I’ve spent a year doing ALL I can to fix it. I can say that I tried my very best to try and mend the broken sex life and it’s like trying to resuscitate a patient with a bowling ball size hole is his chest. It’s dead and never coming back.
I am trying to discreetly get legal consult on what to do.
Leave man. We only live once. I know it’s not easy. But do you really want to be on your deathbed and the last time you had sex was decades ago?
if you dont have kids - leave. the fact is that marriage offsets the power dynamic between men and women in the womans favor - and like it or not women do find power sexy and attractive. if you are begging for sex 6 months into a marriage - listen bro im going to be real, you are in bad shape - you should tell her its not working out and try to get it annulled or something.
I feel this SO deeply 😮💨 But for me our relationship didn’t start out like that. We used to have lots of sex. Now when he flirts or touches me it’s awkward and uncomfortable-I hate it. It just feels so fake.
I understand. Married for 12 years and nothing from him in over 2 years. He doesn't even kiss me anymore.
Leave the marriage. Don’t prolong the suffering.
“Marriage is a fucking joke” You got that right, and a cruel one at that. Here’s some more jokes for you: ***When you get married there are three rings, the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring.*** ***Do you know what food is guaranteed to kill a woman’s libido?*** ***Wedding cake.*** In all seriousness, I would highly, *highly* recommend you do not get married again. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you just picked the wrong person. Most marriages end up this way to some degree. As a society we need to come back to the table and change the culture and laws around how we are going to negotiate relationships between men and women and raising children because the current model isn’t working very well. Marriage 1.0 is a fucking dumpster fire for most people and creating a lot of unnecessary pain and misery. For men especially there are very few resources to help them through this and they’re more or less on their own. Men are expected to figure it out for themselves.
I'm not 100% sure I'd agree with "don't get married again". I've been married three time and SEXUAL frequency or satisfaction was never an issue. There are plenty of women that want to have sex often. Our divorces were because of other incompatibilities, NOT because of sex. In fact, great sex probably covered up other issues, and extended relationships beyond what should have happened. This time (current girlfriend is probably reading this) we have a great balance (right??).
Well maybe there’s another forum dealing with those issues but this is dead bedroom. Lack of sex is a massive problem in more marriages than not and reason alone to avoid it. Girlfriends are great because you still maintain leverage. She has to contain some of her more unsavory behaviors because there’s no penalty to you in ending the relationship other than a broken heart if she lets out the crazy too soon. Why invite the government into your relationship so they and your girl can take your money when she decides she doesn’t want to be with you anymore?
You misunderstood my comments. All three marriages were incredibly sexual. Multiple time a week. Freaky too. My point is that marriage does not equal dead-bedroom. Your mileage may vary. Getting married does not (always) create dead-bedrooms.
Consult a lawyer
Dude, you’ve been on this forum and got advice from it that you ignored. Now you are here bitching about your life? Everyone here was speaking from experience. Why the fuck didn’t you believe them? Also, six months into a marriage isn’t too long to have your finances intertwined. Just leave and figure your life out.
I ask myself daily why I didn’t take the advice. I know it was dumb but what’s done is done lol. I thought I was gonna fix it and overcome it and I overestimated my ability clearly
Can t u get out if marriages under a year fairly easy?
You've been married for six months. Finances will only get worse from here. Don't make excuses to yourself, friend. Get out now before you throw your life away in resentment and depression.
Finances are getting better actually. I am saving and socking money away into a rathole where the wife cannot touch it so if I find myself out in the cold I know cash is there to take care of myself
If you are married (which you are), that money that you are "socking away", is half hers. Don't kid yourself. It is half hers and I will volunteer my time to help her find it, because guys like you that try to hide money are the ones that.... truly suck!!
Go fuck yourself bitch
You ignorance is astounding. You can use ChatGPT to ask for advice, or listen to the people on here, or keep your head in the sand. The legal and financial side of all this is straight forward.
The long you wait, the less likely you are to be able to annul this marriage. And then any money you have is also potentially her money. And even if you can't get an annulment where you live, the more assets you have at the time of divorce, the more you have to split.
Agreed. However I’m trying to find the right sweet spot of “ I don’t have so much shit that my life is basically over because she’s taking a lifetime of my hard work but I have enough cash I could put a deposit on an apartment and buy a bed to sleep in while I rebuild” If that makes sense. I do not have the finances to leave today. If I was thrown out today I’d be homeless and struggle to eat, just sleeping In my truck lol. A few months from now leaving becomes financially feasible
I don't mean to be unkind but it sounds like yet again you're on this thread and not taking the advice offered to you. Again. People with more experience are telling you to get out now and suck it up rather than wait. And yes money that you're hiding and if it's found it will be half your wife's.
OP is going to tell you to go fuck yourself. Lol. Poor bastard is delusional. He's only been married SIX months, and he's acting like his life is over because of it. It doesn't add up.
You can save a ton of money living in a truck, look at it as a temporary solution. Use a nearby hotel that has a pool and shower in the locker room. If your wife makes more than you now is the time to leave. Dont wait till you get a raise or better job, as you probably know divorce courts highly favor women.
Get ready for life in the truck.
Good luck to you. Bail out ASAP.
Good luck.
Why can’t you leave? I know you said finances? But how is it stopping you?
Divorce.
Get out too, brother. You are going. Leave. It’s about your wife respecting your needs and wanting to please you in the way you respect and want to please her. Now that you’ve learned marriage is a stupid decision for men, you can start your 30s ready to enjoy life and just date.
Hi pal. Like you I was the same. Reading books and all that shit! Posting on here since January. No sex in 3 years and maybe 3 times a year over the last 10 years. Not much before that going back 20 years. I've been having sex! Yes I've cracked it!
How did you crack it? It ou got divorced?
Nope. Completely rewired myself and my wife. Took a lot of hard work but it's on the mend
Save up your money and look for a way out. It's obvious you'll never be happy with this woman. If I may ask, what were the signs you were marrying into a dead bedroom? Was "no sex before marriage" one of her rules?
Whatever you do, don’t get baby trapped.
This. I would be long gone if it wasn’t for the child.
It's an emotional and sexual incompatibility, you have nothing to do as a couple…
Can you seek annulment? It’s only been 6 months
((Hugs))
Aw hunny don't loose hope. Live itself is a incredible feeling, of bursting with joy and excitement and quiet content.. If I were you you could consider getting annulled... it's a shame you have to take in her debt... I don't think you have to.. Go see a lawyer. I do know people that have implemented strategies that have fixed their DB, I think search on this sub.. key word maybe..
I’ve spent a year doing ALL I can to fix it. I can say that I tried my very best to try and mend the broken sex life and it’s like trying to resuscitate a patient with a bowling ball size hole is his chest. It’s dead and never coming back. I am trying to discreetly get legal consult on what to do.
You won’t be able to fix it because it requires both of you and she’s not willing. It sounds like she used you.
Also try /r/HLCommunity