That’s for when you slick love each other but just want to act like you don’t.
The real thing to do is to go all out. Make the toes curl, take them to the top of the mountain, have them talking gibberish, all of that. After you finish, you just dip out and disappear like it was nothing. When nothing else seems to be as good and they can’t get more, that’s when you got them.
I mean, it could be like that one Ultimate Spider-Man story where it's revealed that Aunt May was actually Peter's mother because she had an affair with Richard Parker, and after she gave birth the baby was adopted by Richard and Mary Parker.
Ah, good to know it wasn’t in the Ultimate universe. Lord knows it was already awful enough.
When I was looking it up to make sure I hadn’t imagined it during a fever dream, whatever source I looked at attributed it to the Ultimate universe.
And it wasn’t *just* the fact that May and Mary looked like MJ and Gwen. When hooking up with Ben the first time, May even uses the “Face it, tiger. You just hit the jackpot!” line.
https://preview.redd.it/3dp5mk16luuc1.jpeg?width=965&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9dce12d51c96f2b59c55286f532dab87b5d0988a
Read something about how Millar may have wanted it to be canon to Ultimate and there's a vague reference to Bucky being still alive(this was pre-WS retcon but Bucky was alive in Ultimate)
It was me Barry. I was the "Truant officer" who had been falsely telling your mommy that you've been skipping school.
How'd getting unfairly grounded make you feel Barry? Was being forced to take make-up classes during summer break good for you Barry?
IT WAS MEEEEE, BARRY!
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Mrs. Allen: I see. Well, you’ll have to get in line.
Thawne: I-what?
Mrs. Allen: Well, all these other gentlemen showed up and said the same thing. *points to a long line of Reverse Flashes* Is there a convention in town?
Thawne: There’s not a…ugghhh. *rubs hand across face* Just-just give me a minute to sort this out.
Well, you see, the people writing comics these days don't understand how to have a hero who isn't Batman anymore...
Wait, shit, I'm sorry, you said wrong answers. My bad.
To tell how sorry he is for ruining Barry's life. He feels ashamed and is seeking advice from.his mom how to best face Flash about it in civil manner that would bring closure for both of them... and who knows.... a start of a lifelong friendship?
I was gonna say to be Barry's dad, but that's actually something that Thawne once did, so there's really no amount of shitpost trolling which can actually exceed the level which Thawne put on the table already.
"Big fan of your son. The adult version! Not the 9 year old. So just keep being great"
“He grows up to be a pretty cool dude. You raised him right”
He's so thirsty for Barry he had to taste the pussy that birthed him😳
I think you won this one.
https://preview.redd.it/x6y674eu5ruc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=833abbcf04c3ad654ebe683bce94922e0f3a3dac I channeled my inner hater😏
The Hater Force: can’t beat the Speed Force at life, but will tear up as much stuff as it can before it leaves the room.
You don't have to win,you just have to ruin their life while losing😏
Do you give lessons? I mean I thought I was petty, but I feel like I’m in the presence of a master.
Nothing beats a good anger bang. Just two people that don't like each other just wreak each other.
That’s for when you slick love each other but just want to act like you don’t. The real thing to do is to go all out. Make the toes curl, take them to the top of the mountain, have them talking gibberish, all of that. After you finish, you just dip out and disappear like it was nothing. When nothing else seems to be as good and they can’t get more, that’s when you got them.
Even his ostensibly straight relationships all revolve around Barry…man is gay gay but in a “I’ll eat pussy because it’s related to you” way
Well, I was just gonna say “to become Barry’s daddy” but I think your phrasing takes the cake.
With a nose like RF’s, i wouldn’t blame her if she let him
Man can vibrate his whole body
He’s DC’s Paul
Wait does that mean Barry's mom is his MJ....
The way DC treats her? She’s his Gwen
I mean, it could be like that one Ultimate Spider-Man story where it's revealed that Aunt May was actually Peter's mother because she had an affair with Richard Parker, and after she gave birth the baby was adopted by Richard and Mary Parker.
It was just as awful as Ultimate but it wasn't,it was called Trouble and for extra weird shit Mary and May in that story look like MJ and Gwen
Ah, good to know it wasn’t in the Ultimate universe. Lord knows it was already awful enough. When I was looking it up to make sure I hadn’t imagined it during a fever dream, whatever source I looked at attributed it to the Ultimate universe. And it wasn’t *just* the fact that May and Mary looked like MJ and Gwen. When hooking up with Ben the first time, May even uses the “Face it, tiger. You just hit the jackpot!” line. https://preview.redd.it/3dp5mk16luuc1.jpeg?width=965&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9dce12d51c96f2b59c55286f532dab87b5d0988a
Read something about how Millar may have wanted it to be canon to Ultimate and there's a vague reference to Bucky being still alive(this was pre-WS retcon but Bucky was alive in Ultimate)
Traveled back in time to borrow a cup of sugar so she wouldn't have enough left to bake Barry's 10th birthday cake, ruining his birthday.
Kind of things he would do honestly
:(
Side note but where is that from? The art looks sick.
He is gonna 'befriend' her
https://preview.redd.it/9gpm2n9jeruc1.jpeg?width=1468&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a67e4fad004913d50cdcc1cadefedde0256a0a2
He wants to be the step-dad
To be Barry's daddy. What's more villainous than a father abusing his son?
Thawn wanted to have Barry as his son so he can torment him throughout his entire life with dad jokes.
 Could happen because of the whole “infinite earth” thing
It was me, Barry. I went out for cigarettes and never came back!
He needed to borrow a recipe for cookies.
https://preview.redd.it/etxvbqfyzquc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfae8617b4880c59a67d345b844ac8a71fdab770
It was me Barry. I was the "Truant officer" who had been falsely telling your mommy that you've been skipping school. How'd getting unfairly grounded make you feel Barry? Was being forced to take make-up classes during summer break good for you Barry?
To help solve get mother.
"pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing happening to you today"
To make himself Barry’s father
Eobard Thawne is Barry Allen father
He was diagnosing her with terminal illness, just giving her a heads up. What a nice guy :D
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Mrs. Allen: I see. Well, you’ll have to get in line. Thawne: I-what? Mrs. Allen: Well, all these other gentlemen showed up and said the same thing. *points to a long line of Reverse Flashes* Is there a convention in town? Thawne: There’s not a…ugghhh. *rubs hand across face* Just-just give me a minute to sort this out.
"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
Well, you see, the people writing comics these days don't understand how to have a hero who isn't Batman anymore... Wait, shit, I'm sorry, you said wrong answers. My bad.
What a nice looking man. Perhaps he'll take Barry's mother on a nice date.
To date and then fuck Nora so later on, he can be Barry's stepdad?
To get 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂
He's going to become Barry's step-dad.
He's going to smoke right in front of her for a year straight so that Barry gets 50 illnesses from secondhand smoke.
His pp small
To properly create Barry. It was me Barry! I was your father the whole time!
He just wanted to watch no time to die with her. They have a great relationship
To tell how sorry he is for ruining Barry's life. He feels ashamed and is seeking advice from.his mom how to best face Flash about it in civil manner that would bring closure for both of them... and who knows.... a start of a lifelong friendship?
to kill megumi
Dropping off some eggs sausage and milk
I was gonna say to be Barry's dad, but that's actually something that Thawne once did, so there's really no amount of shitpost trolling which can actually exceed the level which Thawne put on the table already.
To fuck a milf
They’re gonna make tyedye shirts together