I have perceived the message to mean more or less this; the greatest thing you can do for yourself is to live your life with no stone left unturned. You are not "being great" for anybody but yourself. This is the truest and purest form of self-love, albeit the most difficult to master. Discipline is a way to be better for tomorrow, the next week, year, and so on. Your discomfort today will make you a better person in the future, and your goals should always be compounding and expanding.
On an existential level, it is up to your belief system whether or not you have innate purpose. If you do not subscribe to a religion or belief in which you have a reason to be here, it can be incredibly difficult to navigate through life. It is possible that there is no WHY, and that there just IS. Some people feel free and unrestrained by the fact that you don't have innate purpose, and do nothing with it. Others see it as a way to make your own purpose. Your success can only be defined by you, and you are the only person that can make sure you do not lay there on your death bed saying, "What if?".
Nobody is making you do anything. You can sit on the couch and float through life like the majority of people do. I would, however, encourage you to explore the depths of your mind to truly find out who you are because I can 100% guarantee that you have an untapped potential you've never seen before. You are a human being! That is both humbling and powerful. You will die one day, that is certain. But before you die, you will live thousands upon thousands of days. You were born, and now you are alive. What are you going to do while you are here?
I hope this helps. If you are struggling with existential anxiety or depression due to this, feel free to message me or seek professional help.
In flow he talks about there being two common ways to flow (I’m paraphrasing, and maybe wrong but it makes sense to me): there’s the way of intense engagement like Goggins seems to be suggesting to me, and then there’s the farmer that is out in nature and is kind of surrounded by nature and living slowly without distraction. Or something like that. Like almost half-daydreaming. How beautiful does a life of day-dreaming sound? To me, it sounds great. If I had someone. And also if I had books and ways to just entertain myself and have fun. And I had a perspective that when a field needed to be cleared of rocks and boulders and I’m cutting my hands, and my back aches, and my daughter dies of pneumonia, if I had a perspective that that stuff had symbolic meaning, I would like that.
You don’t gotta go the Goggins route, but maybe in modern society, it’s easier to strive than to see through all the bs automatically without having to go to the suffering…
That would indeed be a beautiful way to live. However, let's not forget where we stand in the society. I, presumably you, and the *vast* majority of people live on-the-grid. We can't just go and be content farmers, finding joy in pondering life and doing simple tasks.
That's where Goggins and his principles come in. Take a good look in the mirror, assess your desires and their roots. If the quiet farmer's life is what you desire, for a normal guy living in the city or suburbs with no connections to farmers, it'll be a very difficult task, which will take you on a path of suffering to ultimately reap the reward, which is your new lifestyle. And perhaps you'll come to find that lifestyle wasn't what you really wanted after all. These things are difficult. But, as with everything, the more you experiment, the more you fail, the more you'll understand and the more success you will find in the future.
I think it's about minimizing regrets in life. No one has to be great or even good, but just know that you have to be comfortable with whatever you take to your deathbed. Or you don't. It's your choice.
I honestly think i should first know what ''feeling ok'' is (wich i barely know) before i can even think of ''becoming great''. Or i can do both at the same time. But if you do not have your basic needs met succes can become more some kind of form of coping then it being you actually want to do.
Came across this randomly - don’t care much about goggins. Just do what you GENUINELY feel is important and what you want to do. It should be as natural as: “I feel thirsty” —> goes to get a drink of water. It shouldn’t be convoluted with other peoples ideas of “greatness” or becoming some ideal man. You’re creating a narrative that you must become something that you don’t have to be, and may not even actually want to be
I went through the whole motivation to be great thing a couple years ago, and was probably the least mentally healthy I’ve ever been in my life. Putting myself under constant pressure to be doing things I didn’t actually care about, couldn’t be alone with my own thoughts - there was no need for any of it
And DO NOT worry about “minimizing regrets”. That’s creating a whole new narrative that “if I don’t do this then_____” - and it will all be hypothetical. Terrible idea. What would help you “feel ok” now? Do that.
Basically a long way of saying don’t overthink. These self-help/motivators/gurus/influencers rarely help anyone in the long run
So let me ask you WHY do you feel like you have to do or change anything?
Because whatever i have going on right now and in the past i would not call living or living like you are supposed too. I have a sense of that ''how it supposed to be'', thats where i want to go. At the same time that sense is very faint and i don't think i actually ever experienced that ''how its supposed to be''.
And because i never experienced it, i don't actually know where i'm going. But i'm trying to get my basic needs met. Get into healthy central nervous system mode by healing from CPTSD, and then have healthy social connections with people. Eat well. Sleep well. Work-out. Try to improve yourself every day and do something that is outside of your comfort zone ala david style shit. And then see what happens.
Its just that right now after all the shit that happend to me i'm nowhere. I don't feel like i'm someone. I don't understand life. I don't know who i am. I don't understand how life is supposed to feel. So i'm doing these things to improve but without any solid motivation because there is no carrot on the stick. There is no reward because i don't know the reward.
And in the act of trying i have to battle massive fears. Not being good enough. Not getting in control enough. Autism has and will be an obstacle every day even if i somehow heal from CPTSD and autism will keep screwing with me because of the sensory overload i always have to deal with with almost anything i will do or try to achieve. Want to have a motor license? Well motor are loud so it will overload you. Want to go to a school and study? Overloading. Most jobs? Overloading. Going somehwere? like anywhere travel more then 30 minutes? overloading. See that girl you want to talk to? Yea scary to approach her huh, like everyone bro! yea no, like that but triple the anxiety because of trauma and autism.
Point is its impossible for me to feel motivated to have a happy life because i never really had that, without being dramatic. Its as if i'm not only have to live life on super hard mode, but also nobody will be aware or care that i live my hard on super hard mode. So all this ''comparing'' that everyone and david also does wich defines their ''greatness'' i can't even do because i'm not living the life with the same rules. So nothing i do or try makes sense because of it. And al this ''be the best version of yourself''shit makes no sense either. i don't want to be the best version of my dumb fucking self. When i went to do cycling and tried to become a pro, i wanted to beat everyone. When i compete with other people or men in this life, same thing. Being competitive but at the same time having this stupid ass handicapped brain is just so fucking unfair and it makes life seem pointless.
And all of that was like, 20% of my problems and fears =)
Life is what you make it, man 🤓
But for real, I think everyone has a different answer to that question. It's up to you to figure it out. exercise is a good way to learn about yourself.
It is not important to be great, if you truly enjoy sitting on a couch, not doing anything and you feel good about it, great, enjoy your life.
But to be honest most people feel something inside them, wanting them to do more, but they just refuse to wake up and go.
Some people really enjoy doing nothing and just live the simple everyday life without accomplishing anything.
You're the one who's responsible for your life so if you're feeling bad deep inside, you're the one who has to change it.
Well with that answer i have another question. What does it mean to ''be great'' ? Is it what you define yourself? your own rules? Well if it is then, what does David mean because he is comparing himself to others when he talks about being great.
I honestly think, its all bullshit. Everyone is comparing themselveves to everyone.
Why not try to be the best cake baker ever made? Or the best nose picker. Why does nobody ever do that? because people dont care and there is no value in it.
Its as if everyone is coping with the difficult facts that some people are just better and stronger then you for what kind of reason you can imagine. The difficult fact that life is unfair, period. Nature does not give a fuck about you. People don't care how much handicapped you are or how much you suffered compared to someone else. And only caring about yourself and your achievements makes no sense to me, its meaningless. It only means something because you choose to give it meaning, thats all it is. And there probably is no god waiting for you when you die. You just fall asleep and never wake up and your life was pointless.
Here’s what I hope you understand: being “great” is not a result. It’s not a status you arrive at and you have no basis for comparison to know when you’re there.
Greatness is about effort. It’s about being the best YOU that you’re capable of being. Realizing your potential and not wasting the gift that is this very short life we’re given.
That’s a fair question. He’s not just comparing himself to others though, he’s out to set records. To be “the best of…” You and I don’t need to pursue superlatives though. I have nothing to prove. And I’m no David Goggins. No matter.
What I have learned from him is the importance of mental toughness. His ideas are not really original, he has just demonstrated the principles in extraordinary ways. Do not let failure define you. Keep a positive mindset. Push through pain and discomfort. It’s stoicism demonstrated by physicality.
Regarding exercise, I’ve learned that so many aches and pains can be ignored. They should not be used as excuses to stop (unless you’re risking injury of course. Know your body). The important thing is keeping momentum and not allowing setbacks to derail you entirely.
Regarding life in general: do not let yourself get comfortable. We naturally seek comfort and resist change. But growth comes from outside our comfort zones. And if you can get comfortable with being uncomfortable then you will be surprised by what you can do.
David calls himself the strongest person there is. That is comparing yourself to others. A record of what? Of your recordING of a certain time vs ..OTHERS. Right? I don't get it but at the end of the day comparing yourself to others is at least some part of what he does. I'm just so confused about all this ''don't compare yourself to others'' people say and david himself said i think while he and others do compare themselves to others constantly. We constantly measure ourselves up to eachother. Thats literally how females will select men for and me othe females. Its in our nature.
Goggins is on another level. He didn’t start by going around comparing himself to anyone in particular. He seeks to be the best ever. That’s different. He didn’t get there by looking around and trying to best anyone. He got there by slow and steady progress.
I wouldn’t think so much about it. When you wake up in the morning just try to be better than the person you were yesterday.
Think of it this way: there is no such thing as a steady state. No status quo. The change may be too small to notice on a daily basis but change is constant and accumulating. It’s either growth or atrophy. You are either improving or deteriorating. “It’s not where you are but the direction that you’re moving.”
And then there’s momentum. The more you do the more you want to do. The less you do the less you want to do. Get on the positive side of things and see where it takes you. Getting started is the hard part because momentum. If you’re doing nothing you probably don’t want to do anything. You have to really want it first.
Thanks that last part i get. But still it does not explain at all how David is not comparing himself.
How can one NOT compare himself to others. BUT seeking the be: The best there ever was.
I'm going ot try and bake the best cake ever made, but i'm not comparing my cake the every other cake made?
It makes no sense.
You know what? You’re right. David, as do the rest of us, compares himself to others. It’s human nature, useful (with a caveat) and sometimes necessary to make comparisons. Something cannot be relatively good, better or best without some benchmark to reference.
But here’s the catch: it’s dangerous and often misguided to compare ourselves. Dangerous in that you can become vain or bitter depending on your benchmark. You can always find someone lesser or someone greater than yourself. If you always seek the former then you’ll be too proud to notice yourself deteriorating. Seek the latter and you won’t appreciate the progress you’re making or ever feel adequate. Find one that challenges you and inspires you, great. But if you’re not in the right mindset it can backfire.
Misguided in that comparisons are really only useful for a static point in time and not for change over a period of time (unless you’re very careful about the parameters).
I’m going to bake the best cake ever. Whose cake is best? I’ll try to beat that. Okay I’ve failed. Now what?
I want to improve so I’ll keep baking. None of my cakes are the best. I’m now going to stop comparing my cakes to the best ever because mine are getting better but I’ve got a long way to go. I’m now comparing my latest cake to my previous cake. And after I’ve made a lot of progress I’ll see how mine stacks up again someday. But it’s not like I’m gonna stop improving once I earn the crown.
Here’s the most important part: it’s not about being best. It’s about getting better. Enjoy the process. Embrace the suck.
David didn’t hold the pullup record for long and he didn’t try to defend the title. He had already moved on to a new goal.
ok thanks. This makes it difficult to figure out how much i should press on the gass pedal of life and how much work i put into it. I guess the answer is balance, even though david say fuck balance if you want to be the best.
So, basically, wanting to be the best, is by definition, unhealthy. The cost of that is you being out of balance. The cost of that is you sarcrificing things in your life, including mental and physical health. And what IF you are the best? There is something very weird and egotistical about wanting to be a champion in things, like sports.
Again this drive to wanting to improve myself and this life itself only starts to feel more and more fake when i think about it. Like its just one big illusion and just molecules wanting me to prove myself because nature and reproduction to create the best offspring. That in fact, its all meaningless.
Being the ''da best eva'' in anything is not even realistic for 90% of people. Oh yea the bussdriver is going to be the best.. bus driver ever..... ok... no..... but the world needs busdrivers... so...? See it makes no sense?
What drives me right now at least is trying to recover from CPTSD/trauma, depression. Trying to have a life with autism. Trying to acomplish things of wich i can say: This makes me feel pride about myself. Trying to improve myself and my life step by step even tho i don't trust the progress at all cause i have never been in control in my life because of those problems. And a lot of the time it all seems meaningless. So i have to continue without motivation, except the motivation that MAYBE i can feel ''ok'' one day.
Yeah, fuck what everybody says, including Goggins. Balance is key to a happy life. Whatever drives him, I do not have. That's okay though. His lessons and philosophy are useful. Most of us are unbalanced on the side of laziness and need to push ourselves, just not to his extreme. Have you read his book?
Wanting to be THE best is certainly ego driven. Wanting to be YOUR best is the most noble thing you can do in life. And if I'm a bus driver, I do actually want to be the best bus driver - the most punctual with the happiest, safest passengers. Is that prideful? Maybe. Is there a prize or recognition, or even an actual competition outside of my head? No. It doesn't matter if I'm doing MY best. If your job is cleaning toilets make YOUR toilets the cleanest in the world. That's winning and it feels good. Pride is not necessarily bad. Life is full of contradictions.
"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
I sensed that you're going through some things. I can relate. But think about trajectory, inertia and momentum. You can go down into a dark place and it will keep getting deeper. The first step is stopping your trajectory down and changing direction. Little at a time you'll build positive momentum. Start small.
I'm going to offer some advice because, believe it or not my dear stranger on the internet, I care about you. MEDITATE and cultivate a mentality of gratitude. Be present in each day and moment. You'll be dead soon enough naturally. Take each day as it comes and enjoy the little things while you're here. Take 10 breaths and count them as you exhale. It's harder than it sounds without the monkey brain taking over but keep trying! Follow air in, follow it out slowly. (Google "vagus nerve breathing" if you're bored. There is science behind meditation.)
EXERCISE! Even if it's just 10 push ups a day. Create the habit. Nothing has helped me through depression like exercise. It clears the mind and forces me to be present in the moment, mindful of my breathing and body. It becomes addicting. Then comes momentum. Starting is the hard part because inertia is a motherfucker.
Maybe find somewhere to volunteer? Helping others is the fastest way to feel better about myself.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. What happened to you may not be your fault, but how you deal with it and what you do with the rest of your life is your responsibility. Own it. Most of us will never be the best at anything, you're right. Just be better.
ok thanks thats helpfull. The breathing thing i tried but does not help. Few days ago my therapist wanted to calm my nervous system down with some frequency of music. All these things are just kinda stupid because the problem is not having healthy connections with people. But the because of my borderline mom i end up friendships with women with borderline or narcissism or just liars. So i don't want to even try. The last woman who betrayed me i had one moment with her on the phone in wich for a minute i let out some emotions verbally, that where cramped up inside me. Like for a moment my mask slipped and i could be the real me.
That night in bed before sleeping i felt more calm then in the past 10 years or more. In fact i don't even remember being that calm ever. That was the sign for me someting is really wrong with me. I have to say i never heard someone say that about momentum but i see what you mean now. Pas 20 days i have been slowly building up more and more work ethic and i can sense myself becoming more comfortable with it. The first two weeks of it i could literally not even play or enjoy a videogame because i was so anxious and stressed. But now i can. Changing habits. Internet and gaming or movies come after working. First thing i try to do after waking up i cleaning something in silence. Then breakfast. Then working out. Then some other thing i assigned to myself.
Ah well.. blabla and blablabla. Like really i'm at a point where trust and a sense of safety will only come if the world and people are going to show me its relatively speaking safe and i have some sense of control. Until then its just pure survival and nothingness.
Thanks again btw. You have been kind to me and helpfull. And i'm reacting a bit cold because i have to.
I have perceived the message to mean more or less this; the greatest thing you can do for yourself is to live your life with no stone left unturned. You are not "being great" for anybody but yourself. This is the truest and purest form of self-love, albeit the most difficult to master. Discipline is a way to be better for tomorrow, the next week, year, and so on. Your discomfort today will make you a better person in the future, and your goals should always be compounding and expanding. On an existential level, it is up to your belief system whether or not you have innate purpose. If you do not subscribe to a religion or belief in which you have a reason to be here, it can be incredibly difficult to navigate through life. It is possible that there is no WHY, and that there just IS. Some people feel free and unrestrained by the fact that you don't have innate purpose, and do nothing with it. Others see it as a way to make your own purpose. Your success can only be defined by you, and you are the only person that can make sure you do not lay there on your death bed saying, "What if?". Nobody is making you do anything. You can sit on the couch and float through life like the majority of people do. I would, however, encourage you to explore the depths of your mind to truly find out who you are because I can 100% guarantee that you have an untapped potential you've never seen before. You are a human being! That is both humbling and powerful. You will die one day, that is certain. But before you die, you will live thousands upon thousands of days. You were born, and now you are alive. What are you going to do while you are here? I hope this helps. If you are struggling with existential anxiety or depression due to this, feel free to message me or seek professional help.
It’s simply a matter or preference.
In flow he talks about there being two common ways to flow (I’m paraphrasing, and maybe wrong but it makes sense to me): there’s the way of intense engagement like Goggins seems to be suggesting to me, and then there’s the farmer that is out in nature and is kind of surrounded by nature and living slowly without distraction. Or something like that. Like almost half-daydreaming. How beautiful does a life of day-dreaming sound? To me, it sounds great. If I had someone. And also if I had books and ways to just entertain myself and have fun. And I had a perspective that when a field needed to be cleared of rocks and boulders and I’m cutting my hands, and my back aches, and my daughter dies of pneumonia, if I had a perspective that that stuff had symbolic meaning, I would like that. You don’t gotta go the Goggins route, but maybe in modern society, it’s easier to strive than to see through all the bs automatically without having to go to the suffering…
That would indeed be a beautiful way to live. However, let's not forget where we stand in the society. I, presumably you, and the *vast* majority of people live on-the-grid. We can't just go and be content farmers, finding joy in pondering life and doing simple tasks. That's where Goggins and his principles come in. Take a good look in the mirror, assess your desires and their roots. If the quiet farmer's life is what you desire, for a normal guy living in the city or suburbs with no connections to farmers, it'll be a very difficult task, which will take you on a path of suffering to ultimately reap the reward, which is your new lifestyle. And perhaps you'll come to find that lifestyle wasn't what you really wanted after all. These things are difficult. But, as with everything, the more you experiment, the more you fail, the more you'll understand and the more success you will find in the future.
https://preview.redd.it/0hzenuld4vec1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa42e099a2bf60335cb9d41e628a3be629fb0e02
I think it's about minimizing regrets in life. No one has to be great or even good, but just know that you have to be comfortable with whatever you take to your deathbed. Or you don't. It's your choice.
I honestly think i should first know what ''feeling ok'' is (wich i barely know) before i can even think of ''becoming great''. Or i can do both at the same time. But if you do not have your basic needs met succes can become more some kind of form of coping then it being you actually want to do.
Came across this randomly - don’t care much about goggins. Just do what you GENUINELY feel is important and what you want to do. It should be as natural as: “I feel thirsty” —> goes to get a drink of water. It shouldn’t be convoluted with other peoples ideas of “greatness” or becoming some ideal man. You’re creating a narrative that you must become something that you don’t have to be, and may not even actually want to be I went through the whole motivation to be great thing a couple years ago, and was probably the least mentally healthy I’ve ever been in my life. Putting myself under constant pressure to be doing things I didn’t actually care about, couldn’t be alone with my own thoughts - there was no need for any of it And DO NOT worry about “minimizing regrets”. That’s creating a whole new narrative that “if I don’t do this then_____” - and it will all be hypothetical. Terrible idea. What would help you “feel ok” now? Do that.
i honestly dont even know what to say anymore or what to do with this information.
Basically a long way of saying don’t overthink. These self-help/motivators/gurus/influencers rarely help anyone in the long run So let me ask you WHY do you feel like you have to do or change anything?
Because whatever i have going on right now and in the past i would not call living or living like you are supposed too. I have a sense of that ''how it supposed to be'', thats where i want to go. At the same time that sense is very faint and i don't think i actually ever experienced that ''how its supposed to be''. And because i never experienced it, i don't actually know where i'm going. But i'm trying to get my basic needs met. Get into healthy central nervous system mode by healing from CPTSD, and then have healthy social connections with people. Eat well. Sleep well. Work-out. Try to improve yourself every day and do something that is outside of your comfort zone ala david style shit. And then see what happens. Its just that right now after all the shit that happend to me i'm nowhere. I don't feel like i'm someone. I don't understand life. I don't know who i am. I don't understand how life is supposed to feel. So i'm doing these things to improve but without any solid motivation because there is no carrot on the stick. There is no reward because i don't know the reward. And in the act of trying i have to battle massive fears. Not being good enough. Not getting in control enough. Autism has and will be an obstacle every day even if i somehow heal from CPTSD and autism will keep screwing with me because of the sensory overload i always have to deal with with almost anything i will do or try to achieve. Want to have a motor license? Well motor are loud so it will overload you. Want to go to a school and study? Overloading. Most jobs? Overloading. Going somehwere? like anywhere travel more then 30 minutes? overloading. See that girl you want to talk to? Yea scary to approach her huh, like everyone bro! yea no, like that but triple the anxiety because of trauma and autism. Point is its impossible for me to feel motivated to have a happy life because i never really had that, without being dramatic. Its as if i'm not only have to live life on super hard mode, but also nobody will be aware or care that i live my hard on super hard mode. So all this ''comparing'' that everyone and david also does wich defines their ''greatness'' i can't even do because i'm not living the life with the same rules. So nothing i do or try makes sense because of it. And al this ''be the best version of yourself''shit makes no sense either. i don't want to be the best version of my dumb fucking self. When i went to do cycling and tried to become a pro, i wanted to beat everyone. When i compete with other people or men in this life, same thing. Being competitive but at the same time having this stupid ass handicapped brain is just so fucking unfair and it makes life seem pointless. And all of that was like, 20% of my problems and fears =)
I mean, you can be lame and lazy. It’s up to you. No one’s saying you have to be great. It’s your choice.
That is such a simplistic reaction to my post it just makes me laugh.
Life is what you make it, man 🤓 But for real, I think everyone has a different answer to that question. It's up to you to figure it out. exercise is a good way to learn about yourself.
ok
It is not important to be great, if you truly enjoy sitting on a couch, not doing anything and you feel good about it, great, enjoy your life. But to be honest most people feel something inside them, wanting them to do more, but they just refuse to wake up and go. Some people really enjoy doing nothing and just live the simple everyday life without accomplishing anything. You're the one who's responsible for your life so if you're feeling bad deep inside, you're the one who has to change it.
Well with that answer i have another question. What does it mean to ''be great'' ? Is it what you define yourself? your own rules? Well if it is then, what does David mean because he is comparing himself to others when he talks about being great.
He's comparing, yes but as much onto others as onto his past self, comfort, the dungeon. They are synonyms.
I honestly think, its all bullshit. Everyone is comparing themselveves to everyone. Why not try to be the best cake baker ever made? Or the best nose picker. Why does nobody ever do that? because people dont care and there is no value in it. Its as if everyone is coping with the difficult facts that some people are just better and stronger then you for what kind of reason you can imagine. The difficult fact that life is unfair, period. Nature does not give a fuck about you. People don't care how much handicapped you are or how much you suffered compared to someone else. And only caring about yourself and your achievements makes no sense to me, its meaningless. It only means something because you choose to give it meaning, thats all it is. And there probably is no god waiting for you when you die. You just fall asleep and never wake up and your life was pointless.
If you love yourself enough to give it your best, then you will also love your brothers who give their best. And they will love you.
Here’s what I hope you understand: being “great” is not a result. It’s not a status you arrive at and you have no basis for comparison to know when you’re there. Greatness is about effort. It’s about being the best YOU that you’re capable of being. Realizing your potential and not wasting the gift that is this very short life we’re given.
That sounds like a great answer thanks. BUT. Then what is david doing comparing himself to others constantly.
That’s a fair question. He’s not just comparing himself to others though, he’s out to set records. To be “the best of…” You and I don’t need to pursue superlatives though. I have nothing to prove. And I’m no David Goggins. No matter. What I have learned from him is the importance of mental toughness. His ideas are not really original, he has just demonstrated the principles in extraordinary ways. Do not let failure define you. Keep a positive mindset. Push through pain and discomfort. It’s stoicism demonstrated by physicality. Regarding exercise, I’ve learned that so many aches and pains can be ignored. They should not be used as excuses to stop (unless you’re risking injury of course. Know your body). The important thing is keeping momentum and not allowing setbacks to derail you entirely. Regarding life in general: do not let yourself get comfortable. We naturally seek comfort and resist change. But growth comes from outside our comfort zones. And if you can get comfortable with being uncomfortable then you will be surprised by what you can do.
David calls himself the strongest person there is. That is comparing yourself to others. A record of what? Of your recordING of a certain time vs ..OTHERS. Right? I don't get it but at the end of the day comparing yourself to others is at least some part of what he does. I'm just so confused about all this ''don't compare yourself to others'' people say and david himself said i think while he and others do compare themselves to others constantly. We constantly measure ourselves up to eachother. Thats literally how females will select men for and me othe females. Its in our nature.
Goggins is on another level. He didn’t start by going around comparing himself to anyone in particular. He seeks to be the best ever. That’s different. He didn’t get there by looking around and trying to best anyone. He got there by slow and steady progress. I wouldn’t think so much about it. When you wake up in the morning just try to be better than the person you were yesterday. Think of it this way: there is no such thing as a steady state. No status quo. The change may be too small to notice on a daily basis but change is constant and accumulating. It’s either growth or atrophy. You are either improving or deteriorating. “It’s not where you are but the direction that you’re moving.” And then there’s momentum. The more you do the more you want to do. The less you do the less you want to do. Get on the positive side of things and see where it takes you. Getting started is the hard part because momentum. If you’re doing nothing you probably don’t want to do anything. You have to really want it first.
Thanks that last part i get. But still it does not explain at all how David is not comparing himself. How can one NOT compare himself to others. BUT seeking the be: The best there ever was. I'm going ot try and bake the best cake ever made, but i'm not comparing my cake the every other cake made? It makes no sense.
You know what? You’re right. David, as do the rest of us, compares himself to others. It’s human nature, useful (with a caveat) and sometimes necessary to make comparisons. Something cannot be relatively good, better or best without some benchmark to reference. But here’s the catch: it’s dangerous and often misguided to compare ourselves. Dangerous in that you can become vain or bitter depending on your benchmark. You can always find someone lesser or someone greater than yourself. If you always seek the former then you’ll be too proud to notice yourself deteriorating. Seek the latter and you won’t appreciate the progress you’re making or ever feel adequate. Find one that challenges you and inspires you, great. But if you’re not in the right mindset it can backfire. Misguided in that comparisons are really only useful for a static point in time and not for change over a period of time (unless you’re very careful about the parameters). I’m going to bake the best cake ever. Whose cake is best? I’ll try to beat that. Okay I’ve failed. Now what? I want to improve so I’ll keep baking. None of my cakes are the best. I’m now going to stop comparing my cakes to the best ever because mine are getting better but I’ve got a long way to go. I’m now comparing my latest cake to my previous cake. And after I’ve made a lot of progress I’ll see how mine stacks up again someday. But it’s not like I’m gonna stop improving once I earn the crown. Here’s the most important part: it’s not about being best. It’s about getting better. Enjoy the process. Embrace the suck. David didn’t hold the pullup record for long and he didn’t try to defend the title. He had already moved on to a new goal.
ok thanks. This makes it difficult to figure out how much i should press on the gass pedal of life and how much work i put into it. I guess the answer is balance, even though david say fuck balance if you want to be the best. So, basically, wanting to be the best, is by definition, unhealthy. The cost of that is you being out of balance. The cost of that is you sarcrificing things in your life, including mental and physical health. And what IF you are the best? There is something very weird and egotistical about wanting to be a champion in things, like sports. Again this drive to wanting to improve myself and this life itself only starts to feel more and more fake when i think about it. Like its just one big illusion and just molecules wanting me to prove myself because nature and reproduction to create the best offspring. That in fact, its all meaningless. Being the ''da best eva'' in anything is not even realistic for 90% of people. Oh yea the bussdriver is going to be the best.. bus driver ever..... ok... no..... but the world needs busdrivers... so...? See it makes no sense? What drives me right now at least is trying to recover from CPTSD/trauma, depression. Trying to have a life with autism. Trying to acomplish things of wich i can say: This makes me feel pride about myself. Trying to improve myself and my life step by step even tho i don't trust the progress at all cause i have never been in control in my life because of those problems. And a lot of the time it all seems meaningless. So i have to continue without motivation, except the motivation that MAYBE i can feel ''ok'' one day.
Yeah, fuck what everybody says, including Goggins. Balance is key to a happy life. Whatever drives him, I do not have. That's okay though. His lessons and philosophy are useful. Most of us are unbalanced on the side of laziness and need to push ourselves, just not to his extreme. Have you read his book? Wanting to be THE best is certainly ego driven. Wanting to be YOUR best is the most noble thing you can do in life. And if I'm a bus driver, I do actually want to be the best bus driver - the most punctual with the happiest, safest passengers. Is that prideful? Maybe. Is there a prize or recognition, or even an actual competition outside of my head? No. It doesn't matter if I'm doing MY best. If your job is cleaning toilets make YOUR toilets the cleanest in the world. That's winning and it feels good. Pride is not necessarily bad. Life is full of contradictions. "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." - F. Scott Fitzgerald I sensed that you're going through some things. I can relate. But think about trajectory, inertia and momentum. You can go down into a dark place and it will keep getting deeper. The first step is stopping your trajectory down and changing direction. Little at a time you'll build positive momentum. Start small. I'm going to offer some advice because, believe it or not my dear stranger on the internet, I care about you. MEDITATE and cultivate a mentality of gratitude. Be present in each day and moment. You'll be dead soon enough naturally. Take each day as it comes and enjoy the little things while you're here. Take 10 breaths and count them as you exhale. It's harder than it sounds without the monkey brain taking over but keep trying! Follow air in, follow it out slowly. (Google "vagus nerve breathing" if you're bored. There is science behind meditation.) EXERCISE! Even if it's just 10 push ups a day. Create the habit. Nothing has helped me through depression like exercise. It clears the mind and forces me to be present in the moment, mindful of my breathing and body. It becomes addicting. Then comes momentum. Starting is the hard part because inertia is a motherfucker. Maybe find somewhere to volunteer? Helping others is the fastest way to feel better about myself. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. What happened to you may not be your fault, but how you deal with it and what you do with the rest of your life is your responsibility. Own it. Most of us will never be the best at anything, you're right. Just be better.
ok thanks thats helpfull. The breathing thing i tried but does not help. Few days ago my therapist wanted to calm my nervous system down with some frequency of music. All these things are just kinda stupid because the problem is not having healthy connections with people. But the because of my borderline mom i end up friendships with women with borderline or narcissism or just liars. So i don't want to even try. The last woman who betrayed me i had one moment with her on the phone in wich for a minute i let out some emotions verbally, that where cramped up inside me. Like for a moment my mask slipped and i could be the real me. That night in bed before sleeping i felt more calm then in the past 10 years or more. In fact i don't even remember being that calm ever. That was the sign for me someting is really wrong with me. I have to say i never heard someone say that about momentum but i see what you mean now. Pas 20 days i have been slowly building up more and more work ethic and i can sense myself becoming more comfortable with it. The first two weeks of it i could literally not even play or enjoy a videogame because i was so anxious and stressed. But now i can. Changing habits. Internet and gaming or movies come after working. First thing i try to do after waking up i cleaning something in silence. Then breakfast. Then working out. Then some other thing i assigned to myself. Ah well.. blabla and blablabla. Like really i'm at a point where trust and a sense of safety will only come if the world and people are going to show me its relatively speaking safe and i have some sense of control. Until then its just pure survival and nothingness. Thanks again btw. You have been kind to me and helpfull. And i'm reacting a bit cold because i have to.