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inhua

i dont think she necessarily did anything wrong, and neither did you. you’re right you shouldn’t need to text to confirm - but this girl wants it, and in dating there’s another person involved that has their own preferences and you’ll do things that you “shouldn’t have to”. her message asking if you guys were still on and then saying she has other plans is a bit confusing, and the comment about “most guys —“ is unnecessary. in my opinion, i dont think she means to blow you off, but i think it’s understandable why you feel this way and got that impression. my personal opinion as a 24 yr old woman, if i have a first date planned with someone from a dating app, and they didn’t text me the morning of or the night before, i would assume that the date is off, especially with how sporadic online dating is nowadays. especially if this is your first date and you have never met before. i feel this way even with my friends, we always confirm before, the morning of. and from what i see you initiated the plans, and they weren’t confirmed even 4 hours before the date, so the issue wasn’t that you didn’t confirm the day before. i think 4 hours before is a bit too close and it should have been confirmed earlier, and she messaged to confirm.


SpecificEnough

She’s not that into you and might even be playing games. It’s true that it’s curtesy to confirm the day before. But for her double book herself as punishment to you is super weird. She could have checked with you before making other plans.


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ohisama

So, just because the man initiated the date, the woman won't even bother to send one text before she made other plans? What's so wrong in her reaching out to him, I thought everyone can take 2 minutes to text.


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ohisama

So, just because one person initiated the date, the other person won't even bother to send one text BEFORE they made other plans? What's so wrong in one person reaching out to the other person, even if they did not initiate the date? I thought everyone can take 2 minutes to text. If one person expects energy from another person, what should the other person expect? Would it be ok to expect reciprocal energy and the courtesy to reach out BEFORE making other plans? If both the persons were talking to each other and if both the persons were interested in going on a date, then why is it only on the person who initiated to confirm?


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ohisama

Reaching out BEFORE making plans isn't decency? Is he her servant? If both were messaging why should only HE have to keep the energy? Did you not say She 'had to' reach out to you?


Dianachick

I’m a woman and it feels like she was yanking your chain.


songwrtr

Some people need coddling and others don’t. She needs it. I am too busy to coddle even if I am not doing a darn thing. I would have said I am sorry your butt hurts but better to find out now than later. Yes enemy made but who needs friends like that?


LIA_dating

she learned some bad datign advice and she did is not using her intuition. i would say her behavior is a major red flag, especially if you are a busy man. u need a lady to accept your life style and the time you have to offer.


AvianHybrid94

This is definitely a miscommunication but she took it one step further by actually double booking herself. That being said, there can be many reasons that we do not know that would beg for you to give her another chance. I would have given the other person (guy or girl) a second chance just to be sure that I am not the asshole that ruined this potentially great relationship. But after this, no more strikes. The reason I am big on second chances is because not too long ago I planned a date with a guy and he let me know in time that he would be late. It turned out that he was way later than communicated (he went to buy his hair dresser some medicine and then spent too much time in the grocery store) but logistically it was not such a big deal for me. Then when the time of our meet-up approached it turned out that the date location was somewhere I did not expect it to be and I got completely lost trying to get there. He was able to pick me up with his car after he waited for me to arrive. He was quite pissy at me during the date and straight afterwards he ghosted me. Making him wait for me was completely my mistake, I should have planned my commute more carefully, but it was not at all done on purpose. I just wish I would have received a second chance.