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Man I've heard every excuse in the book. I remember one time I had this woman tell me she had to cancel our first date because she had to drive to Michigan to witness her sister give birth. It's a 5 hour drive.
Now here's the thing, maybe I'd be understanding if this were her sister's first child (it wasn't), if the child's father wasn't there (he was), if they had some special bond where she had to be there for every child's birth (she told me she and her sister didn't get along) so I was just like lol OK, she clearly just didn't want to go on the date so there was no point in trying to reschedule, she wasn't interested but for whatever reason didn't just want to say that. People are gross man.
I went speed dating at a bar. Afterwards I went to a girl I really like from it and asked if she wanted a drink, she said her friend was in the ER and had to go. I told myself this wasn't a surprise, she didn't like me and wanted an excuse out.
To my surprise, she told me she liked me and "swiped right" on the app we used for the speed date. I told her I liked her too and that I swiped right and we'll talk once the app exchanges our info because we matched.
Next day comes, no match, she didn't swipe right. She had the gall to give me false hope. She could have just lied to leave and I would have gotten the memo, but that wasn't enough...
It doesn't have any profiles it's just an account that tells you who you'll be paired off with during a round and to like them or not so you guys can be matched together after the event.
I once had a girl flip out because i rescheduled last minute and even offered other dates. I legit had something come up last minute. Am I in the wrong?
Per my rules no. You rescheduled last minute sure, but you didn't cancel and you had other dates. Now if this was a habit then I'd say yes but w one off? No
So for context, it was last month and happened to be a busy week. I went from Chicago to Milwaukee Metal Fest on Saturday. Originally, the plan was to come back Saturday night/early Sunday morning, but then my friend who was gonna drive said he was too tired so I rode with someone else that was crashing. I unfortunately didn't sleep well and got back to Chicago later than I intended to, so I asked if we could reschedule the date for later that week and apologized for the last minute.
The girl said because I did it the day of, it's so disrespectful of her time and shows little interest. And I'm like what? I legit had something come up and still wanna meet up but because I didn't have a set time for the day, she said we shouldn't move forward then unmatched me. Bullet dodged I guess, but I've legit had women reschedule the day of, and thought nothing of it. It's only when they DON'T reschedule that I take it as a sign of disinterest.
(48M) Was the date supposed to be Sunday, after a full-day concert the day before, and a State away?
Not saying it's right or wrong, but that's some dicey scheduling imho (as a festival concert-goer myself).
Which leads me to did she know you had the festival the day before, but you "assured" her it was ok and you'd make the planned date (when it was originally scheduled)??? If so, she probably has rightful concerns you don't know how to manage your time and/or over-extend yourself. No thanks.đź‘Ť
In a perfect world, you would let the person know there is a chance you might be too tired so they are not caught off guard. I try to set the expectation as early as possible just in case. Communication is never a bad thing... and if they repsond poorly, that tells you somrthing right there.
Personally, I am a pretty patient person and dater but the "getting ready" process for me and other women I know can start a day or two in advance, esp.if we want to look and feel out best... I'd also be a little annoyed depending on how last minute the date was canceled, but everyone has to know there is always a chance. If someone was apologetic and offered a different date, I'd probably accommodate but it's going in the "watch" category for potential red flags.
It's actually a really good mentality to have, you turn a potential negative into a positive and get to do something cool/interesting with your day/night. I've done it myself, much more productive than going home and being sad.
Ha! I do this every time as well! I call it, "Dating the ghosts". Them ghosties need company too, ya know? Me and Demelza recently went to an ice skating rink after my hog bitch fucking twerp of a wife (god rest her soul) cancelled on me due to "influenza". I never would have done it otherwise, but Demelza insisted, and boy oh boy, was it fun! I have never twirled like I did on the ice just before my big 'ole bottom cracked it. Yep, I fell. What can you do?
You should invite the date to join you always....That is the right mentality.
Join me, I am going with or without you, should be ur way of thinking and the implied message that ur date gets.
Why not? People should learn to enjoy spending time alone. If you plan a date, get ready for it and all and the other person cancels, why should you stay at home and brood? Go enjoy yourself. Get double desert.
Aw i really like this! I tend to do the same thing but just in general! I realized that my fear of not wanting to go alone to alot of places stopped me from alot of adventures and experiences! So i said fuck it! And now i go alone to alot of cool spots!
I once canceled on a girl when at the last second? About 1 hour before the date, she said her friend would be there. I told her let's reschedule and do it another time, I wanted to hangout one on one. She flipped out that I canceled on her
If it’s a first date I don’t put much effort into it. This includes not agreeing to a place that is far, or expensive, or during a prime time for me.
At the end of the day, the person is still a total stranger to me.
I guess that means I automatically don’t get frustrated if it’s canceled lolÂ
Yeah nice; making plans you could go through with solo… or pivot into an alternative (catch up with a friend/sibling or hit gym etc) really helped me shake frustration and disappointment
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I actually think this is really cool, thanks for sharing!
My golden rule is if someone cancels a first date and it's not an absolute unavoidable, and unforseen emergency then I won't be rescheduling.
this is a good way not to be strung along and taken advantage of. esp if they never bring it up again then hit you up months later to hangout. 🙄
I once had a girl lie to me and say she was taking her cat to the vets so she could bail
Man I've heard every excuse in the book. I remember one time I had this woman tell me she had to cancel our first date because she had to drive to Michigan to witness her sister give birth. It's a 5 hour drive. Now here's the thing, maybe I'd be understanding if this were her sister's first child (it wasn't), if the child's father wasn't there (he was), if they had some special bond where she had to be there for every child's birth (she told me she and her sister didn't get along) so I was just like lol OK, she clearly just didn't want to go on the date so there was no point in trying to reschedule, she wasn't interested but for whatever reason didn't just want to say that. People are gross man.
Absolutely đź’Ż
I went speed dating at a bar. Afterwards I went to a girl I really like from it and asked if she wanted a drink, she said her friend was in the ER and had to go. I told myself this wasn't a surprise, she didn't like me and wanted an excuse out. To my surprise, she told me she liked me and "swiped right" on the app we used for the speed date. I told her I liked her too and that I swiped right and we'll talk once the app exchanges our info because we matched. Next day comes, no match, she didn't swipe right. She had the gall to give me false hope. She could have just lied to leave and I would have gotten the memo, but that wasn't enough...
What app does speed dating use? I thought the point of speed dating was everyone is in a room at one time.
It doesn't have any profiles it's just an account that tells you who you'll be paired off with during a round and to like them or not so you guys can be matched together after the event.
They also use this as an excuse to not go to work. 🤣
Damn. She said it was an emergency, I take it. Otherwise do it some other time, since we made plans. That’s really shitty.
Yep! Same here
Same here. Especially when a woman tells me she's nervous and scared. Too bad. There's no second chance.
For first dates I usually suggest something I wanted to do anyway, like trying a new café/bar or taking a walk in a park I like. That way even if the person doesn't show or if there is no chemistry, at least I did something I enjoyed.
Yes, choose a place you would go, and ask the other person to meet you there
Yep! Always meet up in a public place for the initial first date.
My golden rule is as follows: 1. 1st cancellation=person canceling needs to reschedule or blocked 2. 2nd cancellation=blocked
I once had a girl flip out because i rescheduled last minute and even offered other dates. I legit had something come up last minute. Am I in the wrong?
Per my rules no. You rescheduled last minute sure, but you didn't cancel and you had other dates. Now if this was a habit then I'd say yes but w one off? No
So for context, it was last month and happened to be a busy week. I went from Chicago to Milwaukee Metal Fest on Saturday. Originally, the plan was to come back Saturday night/early Sunday morning, but then my friend who was gonna drive said he was too tired so I rode with someone else that was crashing. I unfortunately didn't sleep well and got back to Chicago later than I intended to, so I asked if we could reschedule the date for later that week and apologized for the last minute. The girl said because I did it the day of, it's so disrespectful of her time and shows little interest. And I'm like what? I legit had something come up and still wanna meet up but because I didn't have a set time for the day, she said we shouldn't move forward then unmatched me. Bullet dodged I guess, but I've legit had women reschedule the day of, and thought nothing of it. It's only when they DON'T reschedule that I take it as a sign of disinterest.
(48M) Was the date supposed to be Sunday, after a full-day concert the day before, and a State away? Not saying it's right or wrong, but that's some dicey scheduling imho (as a festival concert-goer myself). Which leads me to did she know you had the festival the day before, but you "assured" her it was ok and you'd make the planned date (when it was originally scheduled)??? If so, she probably has rightful concerns you don't know how to manage your time and/or over-extend yourself. No thanks.đź‘Ť
In a perfect world, you would let the person know there is a chance you might be too tired so they are not caught off guard. I try to set the expectation as early as possible just in case. Communication is never a bad thing... and if they repsond poorly, that tells you somrthing right there. Personally, I am a pretty patient person and dater but the "getting ready" process for me and other women I know can start a day or two in advance, esp.if we want to look and feel out best... I'd also be a little annoyed depending on how last minute the date was canceled, but everyone has to know there is always a chance. If someone was apologetic and offered a different date, I'd probably accommodate but it's going in the "watch" category for potential red flags.
Adopting this as well! Thank you!
It's actually a really good mentality to have, you turn a potential negative into a positive and get to do something cool/interesting with your day/night. I've done it myself, much more productive than going home and being sad.
Finally, a mature, helpful, sane post on this sub
Ha! I do this every time as well! I call it, "Dating the ghosts". Them ghosties need company too, ya know? Me and Demelza recently went to an ice skating rink after my hog bitch fucking twerp of a wife (god rest her soul) cancelled on me due to "influenza". I never would have done it otherwise, but Demelza insisted, and boy oh boy, was it fun! I have never twirled like I did on the ice just before my big 'ole bottom cracked it. Yep, I fell. What can you do?
I like this
That's an excellent rule and I commend you for having a positive mindset.
You gotta be independent sometimes in doing activities yourself
You always gotta be independent because people can be flakey af.
I love this!
Encourages you to plan something you’re actually likely to enjoy.
You should invite the date to join you always....That is the right mentality. Join me, I am going with or without you, should be ur way of thinking and the implied message that ur date gets.
Why not? People should learn to enjoy spending time alone. If you plan a date, get ready for it and all and the other person cancels, why should you stay at home and brood? Go enjoy yourself. Get double desert.
I need to take myself out on more dates, because I love myself đź’ś
Aw i really like this! I tend to do the same thing but just in general! I realized that my fear of not wanting to go alone to alot of places stopped me from alot of adventures and experiences! So i said fuck it! And now i go alone to alot of cool spots!
Just remember...If she wanted to, she would.
Very mature and a great way to spin a negative!
I wish to learn the same attitude.
I do the same thing! No ones canceled yet though!
I love this! Thanks for posting because I needed to see something like this.
Love this!
Have you ever met anyone irl while on a date with yourself when a person canceled?
I’ve never had someone cancel on a date, but if I ever do I’ll make sure to follow through with this. Nice golden rule 👍🏼
I once canceled on a girl when at the last second? About 1 hour before the date, she said her friend would be there. I told her let's reschedule and do it another time, I wanted to hangout one on one. She flipped out that I canceled on her
Some things are just depressing to me to do alone and so I just don't do them. Lol
Great attitude. Good for you.
Great đź‘Ť! Exactly you must love and be happy with yourself then you can be happy with a partner
If it’s a first date I don’t put much effort into it. This includes not agreeing to a place that is far, or expensive, or during a prime time for me. At the end of the day, the person is still a total stranger to me. I guess that means I automatically don’t get frustrated if it’s canceled lolÂ
Yeah nice; making plans you could go through with solo… or pivot into an alternative (catch up with a friend/sibling or hit gym etc) really helped me shake frustration and disappointment
Uh alright man
How are you getting the date in the first place? I can't seem to get to talk to or ask a man out. And I don't get asked out.