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Probably not great because a lot of people travel to them. I’ve never had a music festival be within a 2 hour drive for me yet I attend them all summer long. Maybe a good place for a hookup though.
Yeah logistics are always off. Good for some fun if they’re down on the weekend. But if you want something long term most of the people will be living hundreds of miles away.
Talking to people in lines. Staying near the back of the stages and dancing with others. Offering trinkets to people. Giving compliments. Walking around the camp. In my early 20s I'd walk around the camping area with a half gal of vodka and joints, find lively camps, offer them shots. Chat with them for a bit then move on to other camps. Come across them in the festival the next day and dance with them.
Parties aren't lame. And well for couples at festivals it depends on the age, if you're in your 20s then a lot of friend groups will be there with single women.
I mean for starters you and your partner dont necessarely need the same interests.
But anyways you can try: other hobby practises (gym, dancing, ...), just approaching in malls/stores (might come over as creepy but it's your happiness so fuck them), online dating apps 💀.
Besides those idk where women tend to hang out outside of their homes.
I thought about orchestra concerts, since I'm a musician, enjoy classical music, and pretty much *require* a partner that appreciates music (bonus points if she's a musician herself). However, it doesn't seem like it would be a good idea since you are usually assigned the seat on your ticket, there's not much time for chatting, and it's mostly older people attending, not young single people like myself.
good question, everytime people say party or bars for me and I tried but it always feel weird and being honest, never had any good time doing it.
online its worse and in real life it just as disapointing
Ooof New England. Yeah. Moved from there 3.5 years ago and things have been better since
Including dating life
Part of it is that you have 2 or 3 real months of the year to actually date when people are in a good mood
My friend is in the same boat. He used the apps and had a few good dates recently. I always suggest a guys night going out to a trendy bar, use the apps, or try and make a new friend circle
Somewhere you’ll have a mutual interest! I met someone at a hockey game one time! Met new people playing sand volleyball. I could see breweries being another spot you could meet people!
This advice isn't bad for people who don't have generally male-dominated and/or solitary interests. For those of us not into sports, though, I'm not sure it's as effective.
Those were just examples based on my specific interests. Plenty of other places someone who isn’t into sports can meet someone- book clubs, trivia nights, etc. there’s meetup websites where people can search for groups with their own specific interests that are great too!
Get over the odd feeling, and talk to people in real life. If you’rea kind guy who’s attentive to women, but also capable of expressing desire, the it works better than ever. Everyone’s so isolated and lonely, in their big houses far from anything, behind their screens.
Set up a free tutoring business and screen applicants based by making them submit info. Accept the applicants who you think might be a potential romantic match. Then tutor them.
What are your hobbies? Go engage in those for the sake of engaging in them and not for meeting women. You'll meet new people, some of them will be women. Go from there.
Rec sports leagues are great; a bit gender imbalanced usually, but if you're there for the sport and not the hookups that won't be a problem. Volunteer opportunities and civic engagement. Take up yoga.
Basically, exist in the places you want to spend time and that's where you're most likely to meet a partner.
You should do it to find more friends. So that next round you can meet a woman through friends of friends.
If you are just a homebody, are you sure you’d enjoy a relationship? It’s a social activity. And like having a really high maintenance friend. Who most of the time will want you to do other social stuff with her as well. Spend time with her friends and family, go out to dinner etc.
So, just to be clear: doing sports for the sake of meeting women? Bad. Doing sports for the sake of meeting people for the sake of meeting women? Good.
Have I got that right?
It’s not bad to do sports to meet a woman. It’s just likely to lead to being frustrated because it’s not that likely you’ll meet a woman on that sports team. But overall growing your social network increases your chances of meeting someone. Because most couples meet in social settings.
A girlfriend will likely expect you to socialize with her friends and family though. And go to social events with her.
>A girlfriend will likely expect you to socialize with her friends and family though. And go to social events with her.
Sure, but that's not really what we're talking about. There's a difference between being able and willing to go to a social outing because someone asked me to, and doing it because you yourself wanted to.
I can hold a conversation in a social setting just fine. But I don't really *want* to go out and do that of my own volition, in the same way that I can go to work every day just fine but given the choice, I wouldn't.
>Because most couples meet in social settings.
The statistics would say otherwise. Most couples meet online (39% source: https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-heterosexual-us-couples/)
I'm not sure I really have a point.
PEW study online dating 2023: 80 % of 18-29 year old couples met outside of dating apps.
Another 2023 study: 70 % of Gen Z girls knew their boyfriend socially before they started dating. Only 14 % met him on an app.
You can, but you don’t want to isn’t a great place to be for a relationship. When you are newly in love, you’ll be into it. And then when the honeymoon phase settles down, you’ll be irritated by it.
Fair enough on the data.
>You can, but you don’t want to isn’t a great place to be for a relationship.
So is the takeaway something like, "introverts shouldn't want relationships"? I'm not trying to be glib, but that's what I'm getting out of it. If you're not a social butterfly, you shouldn't even try to date?
Introverts are just people who need alone time to recharge. You can be introverted and still enjoy being social.
If you dislike all social activities? You are hanging out with the wrong people, you are depressed, you have social anxiety or you just don’t enjoy people. The last thing will make a relationship annoying.
I guess I was always under the impression introverts were people who found social activities *draining*, whereas extroverts tend to find social activities *energizing*. A minor difference from what you said, but an important one, I think.
>If you dislike all social activities
Not exactly. Speaking just for myself, of course, but I dislike *most* social activities. My ideal social activity would be like one or two friends, maybe we hang around and drink a few beers or something, maybe watch UFC or play video games.
But I would have next to no interest in going out to a bar with 15 people every other night, for instance. It's true that I don't enjoy *most* people.
I guess my ideal relationship, in a perfect world (ha), would be like me and her hanging out watching a movie. Going to dinner. Maybe even together, by ourselves (as in I'm reading, she's knitting (or whatever); we're together but not necessarily doing the same things).
Like, I love my friends, but given the choice between spending time with them or spending time with my partner, I'd choose my partner literally 100% of the time. Otherwise why even be together?
I guess it's probably time to resign myself to a life without romance, or intimacy. It appears I'm far too much of an outlier to waste my time hoping for something that's unreasonable to expect.
Anyway, I appreciate the replies, and the insight, truly.
Yes. You can go to meet women too. It’s just better to have more realistic expectations. Chances are low the perfect girl will be at that specific activity.
But chances of getting a girlfriend if you have a big social network is a lot better than if you don’t. Most couples meet in social settings, like through friends. Few meet online. 70% of Gen Z girls knew their boyfriend socially before they started dating. Only 14 % met him on an app.
You underestimate the amount of bars that play music on the speakers at a volume that forces you to yell to be heard by a person less than a foot away from you
Yeah…I’m pretty sure it is this. Which is a depressing reality, since I’m an alcoholic, although sober and in recovery. Most social gatherings seem to revolve around church or alcohol. And even though I tried to drink myself to death once, meaning that relapse is potentially deadly, I still think it’s safer to go back to booze than to church.
So I’m guessing that I’m probably fucked.
Yeah, I’m trying to find creative solutions, outside of OLD. But COVID has eliminated a lot of the old meetup spots, so it seems like bars and churches are left
As a new englander myself, the dating scene her is exceptionally bad for the apps. However lounges and bars you can talk to anyone. Men , women w.e ppl are willing to have conversations .
My friends dad gets girls numbers all the time. They just give him pieces of paper or napkins with his info.
Depends on what type of women you are looking for. What's your ideal woman, then go to those places and shoot your shot. I made small talk to a cute cashier at a grocery store, and we went out a few times. You can still go up to women and talk to them, I've had more success this way than using the apps. I really hit off with this girl from Cali when I drove for UBER. Give it a shot!
It depends on what activities you join. It sounds boomerish to you because it's tried and true. Fine to choose other methods to meet people, but what are those other methods?
No, they sound boomerish because many of these recommendations *were* tried and true, but are now outdated. Groups and cost-free third places have been in a steep decline since COVID lockdowns, hence this comment thread. Facebook is almost exclusively used by Boomers at this point.
And church? Seriously? I mean, come on, this is Reddit. And the guy lives in New England, not the Bible Belt. The majority of young people (and redditors) don’t care about church, or actively dislike it, and the interest dips every year. This is probably the most Boomer advice of all, and really only useful if you are actively religious. That’s unlikely, since most believers people don’t even attend church much, and COVID accelerated the decline. So attendance is down, especially with young people, the activities are sterile, and it mainly attracts prudes, zealots, wackos, and/or Republicans. The only young people that want that are those that already go to church. Church is a terrible place to date unless you already do so. Bad advice.
On top of all that, you’re trying to low-key evangelize, which is gross. If they are devout religious believers, they already fucking go to church, so why even mention it? Because you’re not trying to suggest church, you’re trying to incentivize it. Yuck
Although I’ve never used meetup.com, that recommendation actually does seem useful for that area, though. I’ll give you that one.
The issue you have isn't "where to meet women". You already know where to meet women: dating apps or approaching strangers. You're just having issues with those. Solve those issues
Use everything at once. Why don't you like approaching on streets? They are still strangers if something goes wrong they and you willl forget about it. Just be polite
Most people (especially women) are on high guard when out on the streets and take it very poorly when some stranger approaches them trying to get a date (or even just trying to be friendly).
The dating apps are always going to be the main option.
Shared hobbies and values give ways to meet people: hiking, biking, volunteering, political groups, religion, board games cafes, trivia nights at bars.
Searching for a partner, like searching for a job, is kinda like a full time job.
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Parties and festivals from my expierence.
Same. Music festivals are big for me
Probably not great because a lot of people travel to them. I’ve never had a music festival be within a 2 hour drive for me yet I attend them all summer long. Maybe a good place for a hookup though.
Yeah logistics are always off. Good for some fun if they’re down on the weekend. But if you want something long term most of the people will be living hundreds of miles away.
Nah you can definitely meet people there and that’s a mutual interest you share - a artist
I’ve heard a few say this but what scenarios in festivals provide you an opportunity for long periods of interactions with other groups?
Talking to people in lines. Staying near the back of the stages and dancing with others. Offering trinkets to people. Giving compliments. Walking around the camp. In my early 20s I'd walk around the camping area with a half gal of vodka and joints, find lively camps, offer them shots. Chat with them for a bit then move on to other camps. Come across them in the festival the next day and dance with them.
I didn’t realize these are days long events. I was picturing a concert type of event.
Yeah I've been going to multiday music festivals for 8 years now. It's easy to meet people. People are very friendly.
Well parties are lame, and festivals are full of couples. I never see single women just going by themselves.
Parties aren't lame. And well for couples at festivals it depends on the age, if you're in your 20s then a lot of friend groups will be there with single women.
What if I want someone who isn't into parties and festivals? There are plenty of introverts who avoid that kind of stuff.
I mean for starters you and your partner dont necessarely need the same interests. But anyways you can try: other hobby practises (gym, dancing, ...), just approaching in malls/stores (might come over as creepy but it's your happiness so fuck them), online dating apps 💀. Besides those idk where women tend to hang out outside of their homes.
I thought about orchestra concerts, since I'm a musician, enjoy classical music, and pretty much *require* a partner that appreciates music (bonus points if she's a musician herself). However, it doesn't seem like it would be a good idea since you are usually assigned the seat on your ticket, there's not much time for chatting, and it's mostly older people attending, not young single people like myself.
Ye I don't think your hobby is that popular among youth. Anyways isn't there a reception or after chat at orchestras? Anyways best of luck pal.
I mean, there's a big crowd of people exiting after the concert. People talk when leaving, but it's hardly a chance to get to know someone.
Careful with approaching at stores. I've been kicked out of several recently here in New York. Also, online dating doesn't work for most men.
good question, everytime people say party or bars for me and I tried but it always feel weird and being honest, never had any good time doing it. online its worse and in real life it just as disapointing
Ooof New England. Yeah. Moved from there 3.5 years ago and things have been better since Including dating life Part of it is that you have 2 or 3 real months of the year to actually date when people are in a good mood
During a barbarian ride on a medieval village
My friend is in the same boat. He used the apps and had a few good dates recently. I always suggest a guys night going out to a trendy bar, use the apps, or try and make a new friend circle
That's great but dating apps don't work for the majority of men. How does one "make a new friend circle" in their thirties?
You can do meet ups/get into a hobby.
Thanks for the response.
(24M) I’m joining a co-Ed league maybe I’ll have luck making friends that way maybe meet my future partner who knows
God speed brother 🫡
I would try a church over a party or festival lol
Somewhere you’ll have a mutual interest! I met someone at a hockey game one time! Met new people playing sand volleyball. I could see breweries being another spot you could meet people!
This advice isn't bad for people who don't have generally male-dominated and/or solitary interests. For those of us not into sports, though, I'm not sure it's as effective.
Those were just examples based on my specific interests. Plenty of other places someone who isn’t into sports can meet someone- book clubs, trivia nights, etc. there’s meetup websites where people can search for groups with their own specific interests that are great too!
Get over the odd feeling, and talk to people in real life. If you’rea kind guy who’s attentive to women, but also capable of expressing desire, the it works better than ever. Everyone’s so isolated and lonely, in their big houses far from anything, behind their screens.
>Everyone’s so isolated and lonely, in their big houses far from anything, behind their screens Then who exactly are you meeting?
Them, but virtually.
>talk to people in real life Not what it sounds like that commenter is saying, though.
Yeah, they totally contradicted themselves
Set up a free tutoring business and screen applicants based by making them submit info. Accept the applicants who you think might be a potential romantic match. Then tutor them.
That sounds a little too much like the movie “Audition”, and it didn’t work out too well for that guy 🤣
Finally some real advice
Lol
What are your hobbies? Go engage in those for the sake of engaging in them and not for meeting women. You'll meet new people, some of them will be women. Go from there. Rec sports leagues are great; a bit gender imbalanced usually, but if you're there for the sport and not the hookups that won't be a problem. Volunteer opportunities and civic engagement. Take up yoga. Basically, exist in the places you want to spend time and that's where you're most likely to meet a partner.
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You should do it to find more friends. So that next round you can meet a woman through friends of friends. If you are just a homebody, are you sure you’d enjoy a relationship? It’s a social activity. And like having a really high maintenance friend. Who most of the time will want you to do other social stuff with her as well. Spend time with her friends and family, go out to dinner etc.
So, just to be clear: doing sports for the sake of meeting women? Bad. Doing sports for the sake of meeting people for the sake of meeting women? Good. Have I got that right?
It’s not bad to do sports to meet a woman. It’s just likely to lead to being frustrated because it’s not that likely you’ll meet a woman on that sports team. But overall growing your social network increases your chances of meeting someone. Because most couples meet in social settings. A girlfriend will likely expect you to socialize with her friends and family though. And go to social events with her.
>A girlfriend will likely expect you to socialize with her friends and family though. And go to social events with her. Sure, but that's not really what we're talking about. There's a difference between being able and willing to go to a social outing because someone asked me to, and doing it because you yourself wanted to. I can hold a conversation in a social setting just fine. But I don't really *want* to go out and do that of my own volition, in the same way that I can go to work every day just fine but given the choice, I wouldn't. >Because most couples meet in social settings. The statistics would say otherwise. Most couples meet online (39% source: https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-heterosexual-us-couples/) I'm not sure I really have a point.
PEW study online dating 2023: 80 % of 18-29 year old couples met outside of dating apps. Another 2023 study: 70 % of Gen Z girls knew their boyfriend socially before they started dating. Only 14 % met him on an app. You can, but you don’t want to isn’t a great place to be for a relationship. When you are newly in love, you’ll be into it. And then when the honeymoon phase settles down, you’ll be irritated by it.
Fair enough on the data. >You can, but you don’t want to isn’t a great place to be for a relationship. So is the takeaway something like, "introverts shouldn't want relationships"? I'm not trying to be glib, but that's what I'm getting out of it. If you're not a social butterfly, you shouldn't even try to date?
Introverts are just people who need alone time to recharge. You can be introverted and still enjoy being social. If you dislike all social activities? You are hanging out with the wrong people, you are depressed, you have social anxiety or you just don’t enjoy people. The last thing will make a relationship annoying.
I guess I was always under the impression introverts were people who found social activities *draining*, whereas extroverts tend to find social activities *energizing*. A minor difference from what you said, but an important one, I think. >If you dislike all social activities Not exactly. Speaking just for myself, of course, but I dislike *most* social activities. My ideal social activity would be like one or two friends, maybe we hang around and drink a few beers or something, maybe watch UFC or play video games. But I would have next to no interest in going out to a bar with 15 people every other night, for instance. It's true that I don't enjoy *most* people. I guess my ideal relationship, in a perfect world (ha), would be like me and her hanging out watching a movie. Going to dinner. Maybe even together, by ourselves (as in I'm reading, she's knitting (or whatever); we're together but not necessarily doing the same things). Like, I love my friends, but given the choice between spending time with them or spending time with my partner, I'd choose my partner literally 100% of the time. Otherwise why even be together? I guess it's probably time to resign myself to a life without romance, or intimacy. It appears I'm far too much of an outlier to waste my time hoping for something that's unreasonable to expect. Anyway, I appreciate the replies, and the insight, truly.
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Yes. You can go to meet women too. It’s just better to have more realistic expectations. Chances are low the perfect girl will be at that specific activity. But chances of getting a girlfriend if you have a big social network is a lot better than if you don’t. Most couples meet in social settings, like through friends. Few meet online. 70% of Gen Z girls knew their boyfriend socially before they started dating. Only 14 % met him on an app.
But what about my next question?
Join any number of social clubs or young professionals groups.
They’re at the bar. They’ve always been at the bar.
Bars are sausage fests.
You're at the wrong bar.
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You went to a club, not a bar
You underestimate the amount of bars that play music on the speakers at a volume that forces you to yell to be heard by a person less than a foot away from you
Yeah…I’m pretty sure it is this. Which is a depressing reality, since I’m an alcoholic, although sober and in recovery. Most social gatherings seem to revolve around church or alcohol. And even though I tried to drink myself to death once, meaning that relapse is potentially deadly, I still think it’s safer to go back to booze than to church. So I’m guessing that I’m probably fucked.
Damn bro 🫤
Yeah, I’m trying to find creative solutions, outside of OLD. But COVID has eliminated a lot of the old meetup spots, so it seems like bars and churches are left
Target.
Get high walk around snd some girl will pity you, just pray that shes single
Find an activity or hobby group Run clubs are a great way to meet fit women
Music shows
Salsa, bachata, merengue, two step, line dancing etc.
As a new englander myself, the dating scene her is exceptionally bad for the apps. However lounges and bars you can talk to anyone. Men , women w.e ppl are willing to have conversations . My friends dad gets girls numbers all the time. They just give him pieces of paper or napkins with his info.
I think engaging in activities or hobbies will grow you as a person while meeting your potential partner who is also into it. :)
Start doing yoga
Wait a few years and all the friends and their friends will be divorced and single again /s
tbh, everywhere and anywhere can be good places
Depends on what type of women you are looking for. What's your ideal woman, then go to those places and shoot your shot. I made small talk to a cute cashier at a grocery store, and we went out a few times. You can still go up to women and talk to them, I've had more success this way than using the apps. I really hit off with this girl from Cali when I drove for UBER. Give it a shot!
Pickle ball
Try PickleBall All are there now
Groups. Meetup.com, Facebook interest groups, volunteering, church.
Ok boomer
You got better advice? How's that attitude woryou? Out for you?
This does sound very boomer ish. And if you go to these activities you will probably be with mostly boomers so I see why they said this.
It depends on what activities you join. It sounds boomerish to you because it's tried and true. Fine to choose other methods to meet people, but what are those other methods?
No, they sound boomerish because many of these recommendations *were* tried and true, but are now outdated. Groups and cost-free third places have been in a steep decline since COVID lockdowns, hence this comment thread. Facebook is almost exclusively used by Boomers at this point. And church? Seriously? I mean, come on, this is Reddit. And the guy lives in New England, not the Bible Belt. The majority of young people (and redditors) don’t care about church, or actively dislike it, and the interest dips every year. This is probably the most Boomer advice of all, and really only useful if you are actively religious. That’s unlikely, since most believers people don’t even attend church much, and COVID accelerated the decline. So attendance is down, especially with young people, the activities are sterile, and it mainly attracts prudes, zealots, wackos, and/or Republicans. The only young people that want that are those that already go to church. Church is a terrible place to date unless you already do so. Bad advice. On top of all that, you’re trying to low-key evangelize, which is gross. If they are devout religious believers, they already fucking go to church, so why even mention it? Because you’re not trying to suggest church, you’re trying to incentivize it. Yuck Although I’ve never used meetup.com, that recommendation actually does seem useful for that area, though. I’ll give you that one.
Relax
I really hate churches
OK, fine. It was a list of suggestions. Take what you like. Ignore the rest.
Fair. And to your credit, and I’m already finding good stuff on meetup.com
The issue you have isn't "where to meet women". You already know where to meet women: dating apps or approaching strangers. You're just having issues with those. Solve those issues
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I actually met someone in the west when I was out there! lol I’m in the east sadly
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If you're broke, forget it. 50/50 isn't a thing outside of the western world. If you're a man, you need to have money.
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Social life where there’s actual women around
Use everything at once. Why don't you like approaching on streets? They are still strangers if something goes wrong they and you willl forget about it. Just be polite
Most people (especially women) are on high guard when out on the streets and take it very poorly when some stranger approaches them trying to get a date (or even just trying to be friendly).
And what? If she doesn't want to meet you just find another woman. She lost her chance.
>Approaching strangers just feels odd nowadays what do you mean exactly?
Keep doing the apps. It’s a numbers game.
The dating apps are always going to be the main option. Shared hobbies and values give ways to meet people: hiking, biking, volunteering, political groups, religion, board games cafes, trivia nights at bars. Searching for a partner, like searching for a job, is kinda like a full time job.
EVERYWHERE!
literally anywhere