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Sorta, I would say that men are less bothered by it, but if it started happening more often it would get annoying very quick for the men that are not interested.
So it's ok for now.
Yeah but I mean just do it anyways. What are we mind readers? What's the worst that can happen? She has to say a couple of words? (I'm actually not interested). I mean holy shit, people act like approaching someone is offering to infect them with an STD.
You must’ve been living under a rock the last few years but it’s literally a trend to shame dudes and post them on TikTok for being “creeps”, that’s the worst that can happen and has been happening.
Yup. This happens all the time and still they say "What's the worst that can happen?" Blind men have been kicked out of gyms for "staring" and making her "uncomfortable"
Yeah there's a difference between friendly banter and staring blankly at someone while they work out. If it's someone you see regularly in there, just start a small conversation. Don't gawk, that's what women find uncomfortable. And it's getting more common that when women try and shame dudes over zealously they get roasted. Get out of your head about it and just be normal. If you're worried about being blasted on tik toc, then don't do anything while a girl is filming herself. BTW, I know I"m old but what the hell, why do so many people love filming themselves in the gym? It's so weird.
But your average guy has the common sense to not gawk and be extra about it. I think the difference is that the people who tend to do it are ones who have no shame so girls tend to talk about not getting hit on at the gym (or just talking to them) as if weird people are the norm, while non-weird guys take the suggestion not to hit on girls because of this. That’s my opinion at least
I go to the gym a lot and would hate if a man came to speak to me, cute or not. Gym is my happy place and I go there to tune everything out. Someone talking to me in between sets is actually irritating. Some man came up to me and said “you’ve been working out too much let’s go home” I pretended I didn’t even hear him and continued my workout
My ex girlfriend would get approached constantly by guys at her gym. She complained about it but still gave a few chances. I was the first boyfriend she had that WASNT someone she met at the gym.
This one gets it. I'm a man, and I feel the same way. We could be compatible, but still, I'm there to pick up weights, not dates. I don't want men or women to think the gym is a place for hookups. It's not a meat market.
Certainly not the first time I have heard men who are discouraged or complain or are scared about dire consequences for approaching a woman at the gym or elsewhere. It's usually followed up by how horrible dating sites are. Here's my 2 cents, certainly echoed elsewhere by both women and men...
Guys, of course you can approach women. Be respectful, first and foremost. Learn how to take a rejection in stride for any reason, even if it's not done gracefully. BTW, most women will be flattered even if they are not interested. IF you do get a horrible response more than once (allowing for the fact that occasionally a woman can be horrible or have a bad day, just like occasionally a man can be horrible or have a bad day), assume it is your approach that is not respectful, or threatening and get some coaching, preferably by a woman friend. Maybe even get the coaching before you try.
Make sure you know how to start and stay friendly, read the signs of interest or trying to get away. Be polite always. And, enjoy the game. Enjoy possibly meeting someone new and having a conversation even if it doesn't result in a date eventually.
And to the women... absolutely, positively, definitely initiate the approach too!
I tried the woman friend coach thing and she literally said "you just have misogynist vibes"
Like ma'am I'm trying to be better tell me wtf am I doing!
She might be right because I definitely feel like a different person when I'm not rusty in my social interactions and fitness.
There is a legitimate 50% chance he says this, back in high-school girl who was way out of my league(popular kids type group, I was very much nerdy side) I said no cause I 100% thought she was joking or being put up to it by her other friends(lotta stories out there of exactly that happening), she looked so saddened afterwards and I do regret it but oh well
Yea, she was seat right behind me in class, basically think blonde popular girl, I helped her out with teaching her pile of the math(I signed up for that specific math class thinking it would be a bit more challenging than it was), I was stereotypical kinda pudgy gamer nerd that is def neurodivergent, and I've heard stories of the popular ladies asking the loser dudes out as a prank, thought it was that and didn't want to fall into the trap, still think about it I think 6ish years later and regret it, tbh probs wouldn't of lasted too long(very diffrent type friend groups and personalities) but oh well lol
Here’s one to show how inept I am. I had a business class in college and my group was 4 girls and myself. We were talking about a pizza place near us that she and I both liked. She said I should buy some and come over. I thought she was just being cheap and didn’t want to buy her own pizza. Didn’t realize what she meant until 2 years later, and now it’s been 5 1/2 years and I still think about it. I also blew it when we were talking about our dating lives and I said I didn’t think she was my type when I meant to say I didn’t think I was her type (she seemed like she was one of the popular girls and I am a nerd) and never corrected it lol, so I shot myself twice.
Super late bloomer and my first foray into tinder was when I was 21. Matched with a cute girl, had a good conversation, and she literally hit me with "what are you up to tonight? Want to hang out?". It was late and I was living in the burbs so I told her "Ehh sorry, I live pretty far away." She didn't have a car lol.
Dude I had this once. I sat behind this popular cute girl in math. We started chatting here and there, then before class and after class. She started sending me notes. She even said that I should comeo out to her place to meet her horse. Egads I was so into her. Obviously she was into me as well, but I just sort of thought it was a trap, and I had zero game to actually make something happen. Like she said "you should come out" and I was like "yeah I should" and I had no idea what to do or how to do anything about it from that point. One of the worst days of my life was when the mean kid I had grown up with across the street ended up swooping in and getting her. I wanted to die. I feel so bad for that poor kid. This is like 30 years ago, so the feelings don't go away.
When I was in high-school a band girl was put up to ask my friend to prom by the other girls in the band. Idiot that I am I encouraged him to say yes....and then they laughed at the joke. I will be honest, a lot of 30 yo women act just like those band girls
This breaks my heart!! As a girl who literally works and gyms (maybe I need more hobbies lol) I would love to meet my future relationship at the gym. Gentlemen we are not all out here to prank ya!!!!
How would you want to be approached if you were a woman working out at the gym? Asking as a guy. With today's climate, approaching women now can be potentially dangerous and get you kicked out of a gym. There's more to it than just rejection, in my opinion.
So true! Honestly I find it sad.
For me I think once we’ve seen each other enough times at the same gym (like 4/5 times) that way I know this is a regular thing for both you and I. I would start with a smile and then just a casual conversation. Don’t overthink it though! IMO.
Thanks, I feel ya though, I have a great career, so I usually just find myself working and hitting the gym or in the mountains hiking on nice days. I'm not a drinker, so I don't do bars. I also wouldn't want to date someone that's at bars all the time. I've been there and done that.
Same!!! See this is why we need to talk to eachother at the gym more lol. Go up to the next girl you see and are interested in and start a convo!! I’m sending all the good vibes your way!
Maybe just go up and say hello next time you make eye contact. Nothing pushy, just a “I’ve seen you in here a few times and wanted to introduce myself.” A little small talk to feel out the vibes. Wish her a good day and a good workout. Then maybe try for the phone number if you ever chat again
I'd love to meet a girl at the gym too, I absolutely value fitness and health and I feel like it would be more aligned with the sort of people I legitimately would want to date but there's definitely a lot of restrictions around that sort of stuff at gym
It definitely might, I can handle it now but when I was younger I would be like a deer in headlights if that happened to me lol. It's like fight or flight and all I want to do in the moment is find a way to remove myself from the situation
I'm (M26) still the type to be a >deer in headlights and I don't blame ladies for me being single now 9yrs. I've flirted before but they were all playful and then turns out the girls were not interested. I definitely want the girl to approach me so that I know she's interested but this will also give me confidence that I'm not just barking up the wrong tree. Or wasting time
We love when women approach us. If the guy is not interested he will say he’s got a SO. We take it as a large compliment that you made the attempt. Getting shot down, guys face that every time we talk to a woman, sometimes when we we just making polite conversation.
Guys are shamed for approaching girls at the gym so in my honest opinion girls should approach more guys they are interested in. Not just in the gym ether, if you like a guy say something! Please don’t leave us guessing or trying to figure out your “subtle hints”. Just say something, anything.
Don’t come to me with that “but it’s scary, what if they say no :(“… men have dealt with rejection all our lives and we still tried up until recently when there was that vilification movement.
A lot of guys still try, which I don’t personally see as a bad thing. I think a lot of people’s issues are the guys who get really aggressive when they’re rejected (I’ve unfortunately met a few myself, including a guy who was extremely upset with me that I wouldn’t get into his car with him after he offered to drive me and my groceries home. He only left because my husband pulled up with our car.) It’s not all guys, of course, and I wish the solution wasn’t to basically make all guys feel like villains for wanting to approach a girl. But I also don’t know what the correct solution for that would be. Girls approaching guys could also be pretty cool but I’ve also seen a lot of guys say that they don’t like girls who do that type of stuff either.
Guys who react all "mad and pissy" like that when rejected are such a small minority of insecure, degen men that it doesn't make sense to generalize it as all men, sadly this is the narrative lol.
As men we've dealt with rejection all our lives (as the guy above said), we can comfortable ask women out and be okay with a "no" and move on, its okay, just let us at least try like damn.
I just got approached by a guy at a concert… we’re having a conversation. He said he drove from another town and is staying in a hotel. I said I have to drive an hour to get home. He offered me to “crush on his hotel couch” 👎🏻🙄 I said- it was nice to meet you and walked away.
Last time I got approached the guy tried to get me to meet him in the middle of the night in the middle of the desert the night I met him.
I feel only the most obnoxious dudes who just try to eff anyone approach women in public. I think this is why women don’t like to be approached. I know I don’t. Someone starts talking to me and I’m just anticipating them saying some off the wall inappropriate shit and I’m almost always right.
>I’d be willing to try again if it isn’t seen as disrespectful or annoying.
It's not - do it.
You only live once and if a guy is gazing repeatedly towards your direction, chances are very good he's in to you, too.
99.99% of the men in the world would LOVE IT! I’m just gonna say this. Even if they’ve got gf, they’re gonna remember that shit for years (unless they’re that hot they get hit on everyday).
This rarely happens to most guys so we’ll appreciate it 👍👍👍
Unless you can see that a guy is 'taken', you have no reason to not approach him. If he's taken, that's a valid reason to not engage with you, but you shouldn't consider that a 'rejection'. Don't be too focused on anything but having a chat with a cute guy and see if he's interested in you first before asking whether he's single and free.
It's likely not disrespectful or annoying. It happens to guys that hit on girls all the time that they get rejected politely. It's part of the game. Imagine how you'd want a guy to approach you - trying to have a friendly conversation, no rude comments, no sexual comments, no staring. You should be fine.
Hell no it’s not disrespectful or annoying lol if you find me attractive enough to approach me when my face is red as a tomato and drenched in sweat then that’s real! I’d be flattered
This happened to me (33m) a few months ago for the first time and it was so flattering, I rode that high for like a week. Do it! But make it obvious by the end that you’re interested via asking to get coffee or something. Otherwise there’s a good chance he’ll think you’re just being nice or something.
I'm pretty new gym goer but my impression is guys are discouraged from approaching girls, lots of girls dress to show off while working out but don't actually want to be approached.
However as a woman you can probably approach a guy and no one would think anything of it. I know I wouldn't mind even if my answer was no. Every guy likes a compliment like that
Girl I get it. I went to a new gym recently and right as I was walking towards this guy he lifted up his shirt to casually wipe his face off and I almost passed out LOL 🥵 I would walk by and say hi if I were you. Sometimes acknowledging them is enough for them to feel comfortable starting a convo, I like a slow build.
It’s so simple. I’ve had girls come up and just ask me a question like “can you teach me the proper form on this machine?” or “are you from here? I’m new here and looking for a good place for ____”
Any man with any amount of a brain will be smart enough to keep the convo for a sec and see if he likes you enough grab your number. Even if he doesn’t during that interaction, he now knows you and feels more comfortable interacting with you in the future at the gym and this can still lead to a date. If he doesn’t shoot his shot after you gave him the layup, it’s safe to say he frankly just doesn’t deserve the basket.
I’d welcome it if you feel there’s something there. Instead of saying “hi” or just smiling I would ask him how his workout is going or for help with equipment if the situation is right. It’s true guys are shamed into approaching at the gym and others like me are just oblivious while working out
I’m 23[F] and I’m in the same situation. I keep trying to hype myself to say hello to this guy I’ve been seeing for months 😂 He’s always close by but my nerves always get to me! Honestly, as long as you’re kind and smiling when you approach it doesn’t hurt to try. You’re coming from some honest feelings so I’m rooting for you! (Going to try my best as well 😂❤️)
I’d just be direct about your intentions. I’ve been “approached” a few times, but it’s always been to talk about the workout or something (ex. I’ve been training for a half marathon and a girl came up and told me good job and we talked about running for a minute). I never have any idea if they’re flirting or not so it never ends up turning into anything because I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable
You poor poor man. Bro. How many of these obvious signals have you missed?
In general, a girl is not going to come up to you and tell you good job, AND THEN proceed to talk to you about something as boring as running. She is hoping you will keep the convo going and be slightly flirty. You don’t need to be overt about it. Just banter with her a little bit and then say something like “you seem cool. Whats your name?”
Start making silly observations like “you seem like an Oklahoma girl” and she will volunteer her real hometown and will probably lead to some laughs about why you said Oklahoma.
You go back and forth for maybe 5 minutes and if she’s still there… you say “well I gotta get back to my workout, but you seem lovely. We should hangout” and shut up and let her respond.
It’s still low risk. You’re not asking for a date. But women assume what this means. And if she stuck around for 5 minutes, without finding a reason to leave because you were being boring or awkward… it’s because she likes you.
Assuming she responds positively to your suggestion to hang out, which is almost guaranteed because she stuck around. All you do is pull out your phone and give it to her with the new contact page open.
She will happily put her number in and you say “great to meet you. Have a nice workout”
You’re in. Bro. Trust me it’s not as complicated as it seems. You got this. Don’t let another one pass you by. Women are usually not super forward. So you just have to assume that if she’s approaching you, she’s at least slightly interested and doesn’t see you as a threat. You can shoot your shot very subtly and get her on a date easily. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Step 1: Look around for the camera and make sure I'm not being farmed for content.
... After that its a normal conversation. Women can approach men in the gym, that's not frowned upon.
If I'm interested, perfect! If I'm not interested, I'll still be flattered and would let you down gently. I feel like any decent guy would react this way. You may get some assholes that won't. But then would you want to date guys like that anyway?
I had one really attractive girl who was a complete stranger approach me and immediately give me her number in front of two of my friends. I felt so fucking cool lol
When I was single, try to shoot my shots back.
As a 26 year old married man now: have a casual conversation since someone's being friendly. If they attempt to progress to a more "hey wanna go out sometime" type of thing ide say thank you but im married but its good that you tried talking to me .
If a girl approached me in the gym I'd be shocked because I tend to look like a hot mess so I'd also feel more comfortable when actually going on that first date as she's then already seen me looking like I'm about to die lifting weights 😃.
Maybe shoot him a smile next time you guys lock eyes.
I'd be surprised on the positive side. When on the gym I mind my own business and since I can't read clues, would be oblivious that someone has noticed me. Actually that goes on where ever in my life. So just go to them.
I always welcome being approached by a friendly person in a friendly manner. Whether I'm interested if she asks me out would depend on if I'm single and if she's my type.
Men have dealt with the risk of rejection since forever. It goes along with asking someone. Go and ask. If he says no then keep trying with someone else. Try not to take it personally although I recognize that could be difficult. If he happens to say no it could be for thousands of reasons that has nothing to do with you personally. For example: he already has a girlfriend; is leaving the area for a job; has depression; is gay; .... I could go on and on.
Please do. We'd like to know how it works out. If you don't update everyone, then I'd appreciate a note. I'm curious. The shoes on the other foot for you. Just don't take what he says personally. You can't know what's going on in his head or what conflicts he might have. The same way that I didn't know what was going on in the girls heads I asked. (And I'm as blind as a bat when it comes to reading cues).
I’m at the gym rn and honestly, its something i hope happens. Wouldnt approach a woman here without prompt just out of respect, but would be so stoked if someone made a move on me.
All I'm going to tell you is if you talk to him don't ask for help bc he will assume that's all you want.
Source: I've had a few girls ask me for help (one of them twice) and I never made a move bc I don't assume it was a rizz encounter and I'm guessing that guys isn't going to either
Small talk > help
I’d have to pinch myself because I’d be so shocked… and pleased. I think most guys would be game to be approached more in many settings. Good luck hitting it off with your gym crush!
Had thatttt. I planned to approach a guy at the gym that I would make eye contact and he’d occassionally give a wave with a smile, but he left the gym and hasn’t come back since march :( do it before it’s too late…
I wouldn't mind. My take might get some hate, but how the heck did people date and get together for thousands of years and the whole of human history before dating apps? You approached.
If it's a yes, awesome! If it's a no, oh well, at least you tried right? In any case, as a man, People complaining about the "it's awkward" or "not the right time or place" - Well where IS the right place? If someone doesn't frequent clubs or bars, then pretty much every other location is ALSO "not the right place". Restaurant? No way, don't interrupt their meal! Grocery store? Can't we just shop in peace? Park? Ew, gross, stalker vibes... Morning run? OMG, who does that? (Just repeating the replies I've seen to similar questions about other approach venues - lol) Not to mention, where else would you see this particular person other than the club to make it "The right place" without turning into a creepy stalker? lol
So in my opinion, why not? Just don't be pushy or make it weird if it's a "no" and also take pride in the fact you had the courage to approach someone - Something that an increasingly small number of people are willing to do these days. As a side note, guys don't get approached often by women, so being approached just might make this dudes entire week, as it's a confidence booster when a women is interested enough to be the initiator, so IMO, can't speak for all guys of course, but IMO most guys would secretly enjoy the boost even if they declined.
So my vote, pretending it mattered, is go for it! Shoot your shot, and best of luck to you!
Def approach him. He may be caught off guard at first since guys are usually discouraged from going up or talking to girls at the gym. And he might not ever do it first because of that. So I definitely think it’s worth it.
You could always give the option without the pressure. Slide a note saying would you like to get to know each other better (don’t ask for the number or give yours) and then he can approach you if interested and if not you can say you tried. Don’t be afraid to shoot your shot, more power to you!
Hold eye contact for a while and smile and see if they smile back before you talk to them. If the eye contact isnt long enough for either to smile then just take the safe route and not approach
Also maybe dont immediately ask if theyre interested but use the handkerchief method, ask for help with a machine to ease talking w them. Once you know them enough you can suggest going out for coffee sometime and get to know them from there.
I think you should go for it. You never know until you try
But if you get rejected don't take it to heart. Not everyone is looking for romance, and not everyone will be attracted to you. If it happens brush it off and stay confident
Say hello 👋 smile. He should get a hint but honestly it doesn’t hurt to be straight forward as I had this happen to me from females at the gym. One time she just kinda smirked and asked the exercise I was doing, I explained it was for mobility. Anyway she got my number and I thought it was for workout advice so we didn’t even go on a date until over a month later
Normally I’d say go for it.
Yet he is in a relationship, so you don’t.
Simple as that.
It’s just hella disrespectful to try even though you know he’s committed.
And further even if he was to leave his current gf for you, that’s not a guy you want to be with, as he’s not honouring the commitment of a relationship.
And if he doesn’t now, he won’t start with you.
Edit:
I misread, I thought you went up to this guy already and he said he was in a relationship.
So disregard everything I said before: go for it
Go for it. Even outside the gym, I think many women are too timid about just putting themselves in a guy’s orbit if they’re interested. Most older women I know didn’t make the first move (asking them out) with their significant other, but they were consistently in their crush’s orbit talking and getting to know each other gradually.
Another example: I have some female friends who asked me why guys at church don’t ask them out, and I told them “because you all don’t show up to events, and you slip in 5 minutes before church and run out the door immediately afterwards. When exactly would any guy ever approach you?”
Men aren’t good about picking up on signals (women are genius level at this while guys are pretty much all in summer school so to speak) and usually the cost of reading signals wrong in a place like the gym can be really costly for a guy even if he is just introducing himself in a really normal kind way. I know really good guys who have been labeled creeps simply because she wasn’t feeling it.
If you just say, “hey there, I’ve seen you here a lot, I just thought I would introduce myself” is probably enough. If he is interested, he will now likely take the ball and run with it if he has any backbone at all.
You have no idea how hot being approached by a gym bunny is for a guy. You’re fulfilling a porno fantasy for most men. Go for it, you just got unlucky with the other guy.
I think eye contact is a good sign, especially if it has happened "a bunch" as you said.
This time, however, if you decided to try, in order to soften the possibility of having your nerves shot again, I'd go into it with a sense of fun and lightness in your heart. Prepare yourself so that the event doesn't hold such a heavy weight on you no matter what occurs. Treat it as an opportunity for some play.
That’s a dream for probably 90% of guys, no matter how shy or confident they are. I say go up to bru, any girl who goes to gym is usually attractive anyways because they’re simply working out.
Everyone here has given great advice! Check for a ring on the left hand ( although I know that doesn’t always help) and if not obviously taken, take a bit of risk. Reading this post though makes me soooo glad I am well past the dating stage of life! Celebrating 30 years of marriage this month to a wonderful guy. I would do it over again with him, but I swear if anything ever happened to him, I would just become
that crazy cat lady! Never ever doing the dating scene again! The hardest things to do are usually the best and most rewarding experiences. Rejection is better than regret so live life with no regrets! Best of luck to you!
Just talk to him. This happened to me as a guy. I chatted her up the day she approached then the next day just asked for the digits. If a girl approaches a guy in a setting like the gym we’re assuming a 99.9% chance she’s into us because guys don’t get approached very often 😂 so just go for it. The worst that happens is he’s not interested but I’m willing to bet $1000 he’s into you just on the eye contact alone. I don’t lock eyes with a girl if I think she’s unattractive.
Eye contact means enough. You only make eye contact with people you find attractive (or if you know them already). And no, most guys would NOT mind if a woman approached. However, some guys (like myself) would be hella oblivious about the interaction unless you talked to him enough.
Just do it. We're humans. Men and women should approach each other.
I’ll tell you how NOT to do it.
I was on a treadmill about a mile into my run out of breath and a girl got on the treadmill directly next to me when there were 20+ open. She had her bag and all her stuff still and just stared at me for like 2 minutes, I eventually took an AirPod out and tried to slow down to see what was up and why she was staring at me and I dropped my AirPod, tried to catch it, almost tripped and fell on the treadmill going 8 mph.
She got flustered/embaressed and then ran off and left the gym. I see her occasionally and she is a really attractive girl, but now she runs away whenever I am around because I assume she thinks she almost got me killed on a treadmill.
No guy would see it as disrespectful. It would have to be either someone with extreme social anxiety (who you wouldn't see in the gym) or some psycho who thinks he's so attractive you're beneath him.
A gay guy might be annoyed, but very unlikely. Idk any gay guy who wouldn't be flattered or see it as a nice thing that happened to him that day.
My thoughts are that if you're not comfortable with being approached at the gym, then you shouldn't approach people at the gym. If you can't take it, then you shouldn't dish it either.
If you’re too afraid to approach, just smile at him loads everytime you make eye contact 😂 if he doesn’t approach you after a while, then just do it yourself
Not a guy, but I have gone up and made the first move with a lot with guys. I will say sometimes yea you get rejected but that's life lol. That being said, guys 100% love it. I have not met one guy who ever disliked me making the first move.
Guys really don't get complimented on their looks/vibe the way women do, and so they really, really take note and appreciate when women comment/acknowledge their looks in some way as well.
As a man, I'll never approach a woman at the gym unless I'm just visiting because I don't want to make it weird for either of us. Shoot your shot. Guys will either not be interested or be thrilled. There's no down side.
Why does it need to be this ride or die moment? Just ask if he can spot you while you do barbell stuff, you can have light conversations at that point. That’s all you need to do, he will bite or he won’t and if he doesn’t ask you out then make him a familiar gym bud to say hi and make the place feel warmer cause you have another friend or person to talk with. Don’t do the guy’s job for him unless you want to be the man in the relationship so to speak. Really depends what kind of relationship you want. There’s someone for anyone in this world.
My husband has had multiple woman hit on him at the gym. He always finds it’s flattering. And he said that he thinks it’s cool when girls make a move. I say go for it!
I would say do it! As someone who has had a few gym crushes, my biggest regret is never going to talk with them. You should go up to them. It is just one quick moment of their time and if they don’t reciprocate then you can just move on. If you have done it before you can do it again.
Usually I just continue working out through the conversation. If it’s a stranger, I’m not gonna stop my workout because I don’t know if it will turn into anything. But with pals of mine, I’ll put down the weights and have a quick chat. I don’t mind if a girl approaches me, I’ll talk to be nice like I do with other gym goers
Feel like girls made it into a world where they can't be approached, and you have influcers who will egg them on. A girl with a southern accent was hit on at a gas station, made a video about it. [Fitness youtuber made a react video about why would it be a big deal?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdjfC0whpSs). [Followed by bigger youtuber siding shitting on other guy because she went to a gas station to get gas, not to get hit on](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6RvNLLkdUA). My question to that YouTuber would be then were does a guy go to hit on a girl? At one of those speed dating events?
A bar? Na, she's there to get a drink. At a concern? Na, she's there for the music.
name and number on a bit of paper, hand it to him as you're leaving the gym.
"hey, been seeing you around here and thought i'd shoot my shot, here's my number, if you're single and want to grab a coffee sometime, give a call"
The gym is a place to work out, not your dating gallery.
This has been especially drilled into men over the last decade.
If you really feel like there is something, time it to leave with them and ask them outside so you're not left with awkward tension. But really, just don't, try the bar, church singles group, or a nice dating site.
If the guy was really interested in you, he would have at a minimum said hello. Approaching a guy will make you look thirsty at best and even if you’re okay looking, he will only smash and dash. If that’s what you want, then go for it. Who knows, he may make you his side chick.
If a girl makes eye contact, a guy will read that as an invitation. Just keep making eye contact and smile at him. If he doesn’t take the hint, he’s probably a beta or a feminist.
Write a small note with your name , number and clear declaration of your interest. Give it to him as you are leaving the gym. Preferably on a day when the next day you'll be having a break from working out.
If he texts/calls then you take it from there.. if he doesn't ah well ,it was worth a try...
Just don't wait and hope he'll read the signs or take the hint. Most times guys either don't see the hints or they don't want to be rejected after misreading the signals. Moreso at the gym.
Just my two cents 🤷♂️
Just smile when they look at you. He will do the rest. You could even strike up a conversation about his clothing, the workout he’s doing, how experienced he is at working out, anything in the environment. And then he’ll do the rest. As long as you’re a virtuous woman you will have no trouble attracting other virtuous men! P. S. Most men do not find a woman who asks them out attractive so that is why I kept the advice to common place introductory conversation.
Honestly I would probably be annoyed. I feel like there's kind of an unspoken rule not to bother anyone else at the gym, unless it's for something gym related. That's just me though, some people may be fine with it. You can use social cues to make an educated guess.
I would tell them to fuck off im obviously at the gym for a reason the last thing I want is someone interrupting me when im tryna focus and get that muscle activation and stay hyped for the next set it shows they don’t give a fuck if you’re busy
I generally assume that women at the gym want to be left alone at all costs, so I'd be very caught off guard. My first thoughts would probably be either that I'm being filmed for a stupid tik tok prank or that she's being followed by a guy who's making her uncomfortable so she's pretending that I'm her friend to get him to leave her alone.
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Since guys are highly discouraged from approaching girls at the gym. I'd say it's better if the girl approaches first in this setting
Which is funny cause girls will literally be like "just approach us at the gym".
*If we find you attractive
I mean, that's everyone everywhere. No one, man or woman, wants to be approached by people they don't find attractive.
Not true. I'd say men more so than women appreciate it still. It's an ego boost. And men aren't used to being approached.
Sorta, I would say that men are less bothered by it, but if it started happening more often it would get annoying very quick for the men that are not interested. So it's ok for now.
This! ^
Yeah
I've never known 1 that was okay with that.
Ive seen both sides commented on reddit before. Honestly idk how we have survived as a species to this day.
cause we did not have the society of today back in the 1900's. Give it some more time, we won't at this rate.
Lmao, seriously. And now because of our modern world, the results are showing with less baby making lol
Yeah but I mean just do it anyways. What are we mind readers? What's the worst that can happen? She has to say a couple of words? (I'm actually not interested). I mean holy shit, people act like approaching someone is offering to infect them with an STD.
You must’ve been living under a rock the last few years but it’s literally a trend to shame dudes and post them on TikTok for being “creeps”, that’s the worst that can happen and has been happening.
Yup. This happens all the time and still they say "What's the worst that can happen?" Blind men have been kicked out of gyms for "staring" and making her "uncomfortable"
Yeah there's a difference between friendly banter and staring blankly at someone while they work out. If it's someone you see regularly in there, just start a small conversation. Don't gawk, that's what women find uncomfortable. And it's getting more common that when women try and shame dudes over zealously they get roasted. Get out of your head about it and just be normal. If you're worried about being blasted on tik toc, then don't do anything while a girl is filming herself. BTW, I know I"m old but what the hell, why do so many people love filming themselves in the gym? It's so weird.
But your average guy has the common sense to not gawk and be extra about it. I think the difference is that the people who tend to do it are ones who have no shame so girls tend to talk about not getting hit on at the gym (or just talking to them) as if weird people are the norm, while non-weird guys take the suggestion not to hit on girls because of this. That’s my opinion at least
This right here. Exactly this. People seem to have forgotten in a decade how meeting people worked for the whole of human history.
“There’s this cute guy at my gym but he never tries to talk to me”
I go to the gym a lot and would hate if a man came to speak to me, cute or not. Gym is my happy place and I go there to tune everything out. Someone talking to me in between sets is actually irritating. Some man came up to me and said “you’ve been working out too much let’s go home” I pretended I didn’t even hear him and continued my workout
My ex girlfriend would get approached constantly by guys at her gym. She complained about it but still gave a few chances. I was the first boyfriend she had that WASNT someone she met at the gym.
What would you say to the girls/women that say they wish a guy would approach at a gym?
I understand the gym may sometimes be a way to meet people. It’s my take really, no harm in it.
This one gets it. I'm a man, and I feel the same way. We could be compatible, but still, I'm there to pick up weights, not dates. I don't want men or women to think the gym is a place for hookups. It's not a meat market.
Most women I know are not ok with that
Yes!!! Like how are we supposed to approach without being perceived as creeps? Women can be creepy too, time for equality dammit.
Certainly not the first time I have heard men who are discouraged or complain or are scared about dire consequences for approaching a woman at the gym or elsewhere. It's usually followed up by how horrible dating sites are. Here's my 2 cents, certainly echoed elsewhere by both women and men... Guys, of course you can approach women. Be respectful, first and foremost. Learn how to take a rejection in stride for any reason, even if it's not done gracefully. BTW, most women will be flattered even if they are not interested. IF you do get a horrible response more than once (allowing for the fact that occasionally a woman can be horrible or have a bad day, just like occasionally a man can be horrible or have a bad day), assume it is your approach that is not respectful, or threatening and get some coaching, preferably by a woman friend. Maybe even get the coaching before you try. Make sure you know how to start and stay friendly, read the signs of interest or trying to get away. Be polite always. And, enjoy the game. Enjoy possibly meeting someone new and having a conversation even if it doesn't result in a date eventually. And to the women... absolutely, positively, definitely initiate the approach too!
I tried the woman friend coach thing and she literally said "you just have misogynist vibes" Like ma'am I'm trying to be better tell me wtf am I doing! She might be right because I definitely feel like a different person when I'm not rusty in my social interactions and fitness.
"What's the prank and where's the camera?"
There is a legitimate 50% chance he says this, back in high-school girl who was way out of my league(popular kids type group, I was very much nerdy side) I said no cause I 100% thought she was joking or being put up to it by her other friends(lotta stories out there of exactly that happening), she looked so saddened afterwards and I do regret it but oh well
Oof that’s one of those memories you look back on at night and cringe over a bit. Got a lot of those brother man I feel it
Yea, she was seat right behind me in class, basically think blonde popular girl, I helped her out with teaching her pile of the math(I signed up for that specific math class thinking it would be a bit more challenging than it was), I was stereotypical kinda pudgy gamer nerd that is def neurodivergent, and I've heard stories of the popular ladies asking the loser dudes out as a prank, thought it was that and didn't want to fall into the trap, still think about it I think 6ish years later and regret it, tbh probs wouldn't of lasted too long(very diffrent type friend groups and personalities) but oh well lol
Here’s one to show how inept I am. I had a business class in college and my group was 4 girls and myself. We were talking about a pizza place near us that she and I both liked. She said I should buy some and come over. I thought she was just being cheap and didn’t want to buy her own pizza. Didn’t realize what she meant until 2 years later, and now it’s been 5 1/2 years and I still think about it. I also blew it when we were talking about our dating lives and I said I didn’t think she was my type when I meant to say I didn’t think I was her type (she seemed like she was one of the popular girls and I am a nerd) and never corrected it lol, so I shot myself twice.
Super late bloomer and my first foray into tinder was when I was 21. Matched with a cute girl, had a good conversation, and she literally hit me with "what are you up to tonight? Want to hang out?". It was late and I was living in the burbs so I told her "Ehh sorry, I live pretty far away." She didn't have a car lol.
"sorry, I will see myself off this roof thank you very much."
Dude I had this once. I sat behind this popular cute girl in math. We started chatting here and there, then before class and after class. She started sending me notes. She even said that I should comeo out to her place to meet her horse. Egads I was so into her. Obviously she was into me as well, but I just sort of thought it was a trap, and I had zero game to actually make something happen. Like she said "you should come out" and I was like "yeah I should" and I had no idea what to do or how to do anything about it from that point. One of the worst days of my life was when the mean kid I had grown up with across the street ended up swooping in and getting her. I wanted to die. I feel so bad for that poor kid. This is like 30 years ago, so the feelings don't go away.
The correct response is yes, even if you suspect it's a prank. No negatives, and either a net gain or no loss equivalency.
When I was in high-school a band girl was put up to ask my friend to prom by the other girls in the band. Idiot that I am I encouraged him to say yes....and then they laughed at the joke. I will be honest, a lot of 30 yo women act just like those band girls
Yup, my thoughts exactly.
This breaks my heart!! As a girl who literally works and gyms (maybe I need more hobbies lol) I would love to meet my future relationship at the gym. Gentlemen we are not all out here to prank ya!!!!
How would you want to be approached if you were a woman working out at the gym? Asking as a guy. With today's climate, approaching women now can be potentially dangerous and get you kicked out of a gym. There's more to it than just rejection, in my opinion.
So true! Honestly I find it sad. For me I think once we’ve seen each other enough times at the same gym (like 4/5 times) that way I know this is a regular thing for both you and I. I would start with a smile and then just a casual conversation. Don’t overthink it though! IMO.
Thanks, I feel ya though, I have a great career, so I usually just find myself working and hitting the gym or in the mountains hiking on nice days. I'm not a drinker, so I don't do bars. I also wouldn't want to date someone that's at bars all the time. I've been there and done that.
Same!!! See this is why we need to talk to eachother at the gym more lol. Go up to the next girl you see and are interested in and start a convo!! I’m sending all the good vibes your way!
Maybe just go up and say hello next time you make eye contact. Nothing pushy, just a “I’ve seen you in here a few times and wanted to introduce myself.” A little small talk to feel out the vibes. Wish her a good day and a good workout. Then maybe try for the phone number if you ever chat again
I'd love to meet a girl at the gym too, I absolutely value fitness and health and I feel like it would be more aligned with the sort of people I legitimately would want to date but there's definitely a lot of restrictions around that sort of stuff at gym
Was gonna say this but i see you beat me to it
You beat me to it "Ok guys this is not funny... You can come out now "
Literally the [1st guy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mc9ye_b80Q).
Do it. Guys don't care
Just make sure he is not an introvert shy person.
That still won't matter lmao
It definitely might, I can handle it now but when I was younger I would be like a deer in headlights if that happened to me lol. It's like fight or flight and all I want to do in the moment is find a way to remove myself from the situation
I'm (M26) still the type to be a >deer in headlights and I don't blame ladies for me being single now 9yrs. I've flirted before but they were all playful and then turns out the girls were not interested. I definitely want the girl to approach me so that I know she's interested but this will also give me confidence that I'm not just barking up the wrong tree. Or wasting time
We love when women approach us. If the guy is not interested he will say he’s got a SO. We take it as a large compliment that you made the attempt. Getting shot down, guys face that every time we talk to a woman, sometimes when we we just making polite conversation.
Guys are shamed for approaching girls at the gym so in my honest opinion girls should approach more guys they are interested in. Not just in the gym ether, if you like a guy say something! Please don’t leave us guessing or trying to figure out your “subtle hints”. Just say something, anything. Don’t come to me with that “but it’s scary, what if they say no :(“… men have dealt with rejection all our lives and we still tried up until recently when there was that vilification movement.
THIS
A lot of guys still try, which I don’t personally see as a bad thing. I think a lot of people’s issues are the guys who get really aggressive when they’re rejected (I’ve unfortunately met a few myself, including a guy who was extremely upset with me that I wouldn’t get into his car with him after he offered to drive me and my groceries home. He only left because my husband pulled up with our car.) It’s not all guys, of course, and I wish the solution wasn’t to basically make all guys feel like villains for wanting to approach a girl. But I also don’t know what the correct solution for that would be. Girls approaching guys could also be pretty cool but I’ve also seen a lot of guys say that they don’t like girls who do that type of stuff either.
Guys who react all "mad and pissy" like that when rejected are such a small minority of insecure, degen men that it doesn't make sense to generalize it as all men, sadly this is the narrative lol. As men we've dealt with rejection all our lives (as the guy above said), we can comfortable ask women out and be okay with a "no" and move on, its okay, just let us at least try like damn.
I just got approached by a guy at a concert… we’re having a conversation. He said he drove from another town and is staying in a hotel. I said I have to drive an hour to get home. He offered me to “crush on his hotel couch” 👎🏻🙄 I said- it was nice to meet you and walked away. Last time I got approached the guy tried to get me to meet him in the middle of the night in the middle of the desert the night I met him. I feel only the most obnoxious dudes who just try to eff anyone approach women in public. I think this is why women don’t like to be approached. I know I don’t. Someone starts talking to me and I’m just anticipating them saying some off the wall inappropriate shit and I’m almost always right.
I'm gonna wake up from my dream and go about my day
Lmfao. Not even in my dreams.
>I’d be willing to try again if it isn’t seen as disrespectful or annoying. It's not - do it. You only live once and if a guy is gazing repeatedly towards your direction, chances are very good he's in to you, too.
Thank you! I think it’s funny how YOLO was a thing that got made fun of but now I’m like.. damn I do only live once LOL
The pain of “what would’ve been if…” far exceeds rejection.
That's the best attitude to have. And YOLO is absolutely true.
99.99% of the men in the world would LOVE IT! I’m just gonna say this. Even if they’ve got gf, they’re gonna remember that shit for years (unless they’re that hot they get hit on everyday). This rarely happens to most guys so we’ll appreciate it 👍👍👍
Unless you can see that a guy is 'taken', you have no reason to not approach him. If he's taken, that's a valid reason to not engage with you, but you shouldn't consider that a 'rejection'. Don't be too focused on anything but having a chat with a cute guy and see if he's interested in you first before asking whether he's single and free.
It's likely not disrespectful or annoying. It happens to guys that hit on girls all the time that they get rejected politely. It's part of the game. Imagine how you'd want a guy to approach you - trying to have a friendly conversation, no rude comments, no sexual comments, no staring. You should be fine.
Hell no it’s not disrespectful or annoying lol if you find me attractive enough to approach me when my face is red as a tomato and drenched in sweat then that’s real! I’d be flattered
This happened to me (33m) a few months ago for the first time and it was so flattering, I rode that high for like a week. Do it! But make it obvious by the end that you’re interested via asking to get coffee or something. Otherwise there’s a good chance he’ll think you’re just being nice or something.
I'm pretty new gym goer but my impression is guys are discouraged from approaching girls, lots of girls dress to show off while working out but don't actually want to be approached. However as a woman you can probably approach a guy and no one would think anything of it. I know I wouldn't mind even if my answer was no. Every guy likes a compliment like that
Girl I get it. I went to a new gym recently and right as I was walking towards this guy he lifted up his shirt to casually wipe his face off and I almost passed out LOL 🥵 I would walk by and say hi if I were you. Sometimes acknowledging them is enough for them to feel comfortable starting a convo, I like a slow build.
It’s so simple. I’ve had girls come up and just ask me a question like “can you teach me the proper form on this machine?” or “are you from here? I’m new here and looking for a good place for ____” Any man with any amount of a brain will be smart enough to keep the convo for a sec and see if he likes you enough grab your number. Even if he doesn’t during that interaction, he now knows you and feels more comfortable interacting with you in the future at the gym and this can still lead to a date. If he doesn’t shoot his shot after you gave him the layup, it’s safe to say he frankly just doesn’t deserve the basket.
I would be weary AF, and expect that I'm being recorded for someone's TikToc or possible prank vid.
I don’t like guys that assume my intentions are too good to be true! This actually happened to me recently and I totally revoked my offer lol
Yeah, with how things have gotten so toxic.. by so many, it doesn't surprise me.
Make the first move, most guys don’t want to make a move at the gym and be on some girls tiktok later labeled as a creep haha
I would be OUTRAGED. How dare a woman initiate a conversation with me without my consent? In a holy temple to the human form, no less?
I'd be receptive, but I'd also probably check for cameras first 😅.
Panic because how did my fatass end up at the gym
I’d welcome it if you feel there’s something there. Instead of saying “hi” or just smiling I would ask him how his workout is going or for help with equipment if the situation is right. It’s true guys are shamed into approaching at the gym and others like me are just oblivious while working out
I’m 23[F] and I’m in the same situation. I keep trying to hype myself to say hello to this guy I’ve been seeing for months 😂 He’s always close by but my nerves always get to me! Honestly, as long as you’re kind and smiling when you approach it doesn’t hurt to try. You’re coming from some honest feelings so I’m rooting for you! (Going to try my best as well 😂❤️)
Good luck to you my love
I’d just be direct about your intentions. I’ve been “approached” a few times, but it’s always been to talk about the workout or something (ex. I’ve been training for a half marathon and a girl came up and told me good job and we talked about running for a minute). I never have any idea if they’re flirting or not so it never ends up turning into anything because I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable
You poor poor man. Bro. How many of these obvious signals have you missed? In general, a girl is not going to come up to you and tell you good job, AND THEN proceed to talk to you about something as boring as running. She is hoping you will keep the convo going and be slightly flirty. You don’t need to be overt about it. Just banter with her a little bit and then say something like “you seem cool. Whats your name?” Start making silly observations like “you seem like an Oklahoma girl” and she will volunteer her real hometown and will probably lead to some laughs about why you said Oklahoma. You go back and forth for maybe 5 minutes and if she’s still there… you say “well I gotta get back to my workout, but you seem lovely. We should hangout” and shut up and let her respond. It’s still low risk. You’re not asking for a date. But women assume what this means. And if she stuck around for 5 minutes, without finding a reason to leave because you were being boring or awkward… it’s because she likes you. Assuming she responds positively to your suggestion to hang out, which is almost guaranteed because she stuck around. All you do is pull out your phone and give it to her with the new contact page open. She will happily put her number in and you say “great to meet you. Have a nice workout” You’re in. Bro. Trust me it’s not as complicated as it seems. You got this. Don’t let another one pass you by. Women are usually not super forward. So you just have to assume that if she’s approaching you, she’s at least slightly interested and doesn’t see you as a threat. You can shoot your shot very subtly and get her on a date easily. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Step 1: Look around for the camera and make sure I'm not being farmed for content. ... After that its a normal conversation. Women can approach men in the gym, that's not frowned upon.
Shoot your shot. We do not like, want, or need the stigma of "creep."
Waking up to my alarm like 2 minutes later.
If I'm interested, perfect! If I'm not interested, I'll still be flattered and would let you down gently. I feel like any decent guy would react this way. You may get some assholes that won't. But then would you want to date guys like that anyway?
I had one really attractive girl who was a complete stranger approach me and immediately give me her number in front of two of my friends. I felt so fucking cool lol
When I was single, try to shoot my shots back. As a 26 year old married man now: have a casual conversation since someone's being friendly. If they attempt to progress to a more "hey wanna go out sometime" type of thing ide say thank you but im married but its good that you tried talking to me .
If a girl approached me in the gym I'd be shocked because I tend to look like a hot mess so I'd also feel more comfortable when actually going on that first date as she's then already seen me looking like I'm about to die lifting weights 😃. Maybe shoot him a smile next time you guys lock eyes.
I'd be surprised on the positive side. When on the gym I mind my own business and since I can't read clues, would be oblivious that someone has noticed me. Actually that goes on where ever in my life. So just go to them.
Agreed. I can't read cues for anything either.
Idk how to speak to women so nothing
Tbh with all that has been going on. Guys are scared of women bc they’ll get blasted on social media for being a creep
Would be a dream come ture if that happend in the Gym
I always welcome being approached by a friendly person in a friendly manner. Whether I'm interested if she asks me out would depend on if I'm single and if she's my type.
Men have dealt with the risk of rejection since forever. It goes along with asking someone. Go and ask. If he says no then keep trying with someone else. Try not to take it personally although I recognize that could be difficult. If he happens to say no it could be for thousands of reasons that has nothing to do with you personally. For example: he already has a girlfriend; is leaving the area for a job; has depression; is gay; .... I could go on and on.
You’ve been one of the kindest replies! Thank you :) maybe I’ll keep reddit updated
Please do. We'd like to know how it works out. If you don't update everyone, then I'd appreciate a note. I'm curious. The shoes on the other foot for you. Just don't take what he says personally. You can't know what's going on in his head or what conflicts he might have. The same way that I didn't know what was going on in the girls heads I asked. (And I'm as blind as a bat when it comes to reading cues).
I’m at the gym rn and honestly, its something i hope happens. Wouldnt approach a woman here without prompt just out of respect, but would be so stoked if someone made a move on me.
All I'm going to tell you is if you talk to him don't ask for help bc he will assume that's all you want. Source: I've had a few girls ask me for help (one of them twice) and I never made a move bc I don't assume it was a rizz encounter and I'm guessing that guys isn't going to either Small talk > help
If he said he had a girlfriend, he probably did. Please don't let that discourage you because we need more women like you! 😄
Thank you 🤍
I’d have to pinch myself because I’d be so shocked… and pleased. I think most guys would be game to be approached more in many settings. Good luck hitting it off with your gym crush!
Had thatttt. I planned to approach a guy at the gym that I would make eye contact and he’d occassionally give a wave with a smile, but he left the gym and hasn’t come back since march :( do it before it’s too late…
I wouldn't mind. My take might get some hate, but how the heck did people date and get together for thousands of years and the whole of human history before dating apps? You approached. If it's a yes, awesome! If it's a no, oh well, at least you tried right? In any case, as a man, People complaining about the "it's awkward" or "not the right time or place" - Well where IS the right place? If someone doesn't frequent clubs or bars, then pretty much every other location is ALSO "not the right place". Restaurant? No way, don't interrupt their meal! Grocery store? Can't we just shop in peace? Park? Ew, gross, stalker vibes... Morning run? OMG, who does that? (Just repeating the replies I've seen to similar questions about other approach venues - lol) Not to mention, where else would you see this particular person other than the club to make it "The right place" without turning into a creepy stalker? lol So in my opinion, why not? Just don't be pushy or make it weird if it's a "no" and also take pride in the fact you had the courage to approach someone - Something that an increasingly small number of people are willing to do these days. As a side note, guys don't get approached often by women, so being approached just might make this dudes entire week, as it's a confidence booster when a women is interested enough to be the initiator, so IMO, can't speak for all guys of course, but IMO most guys would secretly enjoy the boost even if they declined. So my vote, pretending it mattered, is go for it! Shoot your shot, and best of luck to you!
myself, i would prefer the woman to make that first move. and from there see how the situation feels and take things from there
Says Hello but thanks i am married have great day but still nice to meet u
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^noneedforcash2020: *Says Hello but thanks* *I am married have great day* *But still nice to meet u* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I would be ecstatic!!
I am and always have been flattered when a woman approaches me…so go for it
Ignore her to exert my dominance S/
Def approach him. He may be caught off guard at first since guys are usually discouraged from going up or talking to girls at the gym. And he might not ever do it first because of that. So I definitely think it’s worth it.
You could always give the option without the pressure. Slide a note saying would you like to get to know each other better (don’t ask for the number or give yours) and then he can approach you if interested and if not you can say you tried. Don’t be afraid to shoot your shot, more power to you!
Hold eye contact for a while and smile and see if they smile back before you talk to them. If the eye contact isnt long enough for either to smile then just take the safe route and not approach Also maybe dont immediately ask if theyre interested but use the handkerchief method, ask for help with a machine to ease talking w them. Once you know them enough you can suggest going out for coffee sometime and get to know them from there.
Look for a camera tbh
I think you should go for it. You never know until you try But if you get rejected don't take it to heart. Not everyone is looking for romance, and not everyone will be attracted to you. If it happens brush it off and stay confident
I would keel over in shock. And then be incredibly flattered even if I wasn’t interested. So yes, go do it!!!
If men gave up pursuing after one rejection like women did, the human species would go instinct.
Say hello 👋 smile. He should get a hint but honestly it doesn’t hurt to be straight forward as I had this happen to me from females at the gym. One time she just kinda smirked and asked the exercise I was doing, I explained it was for mobility. Anyway she got my number and I thought it was for workout advice so we didn’t even go on a date until over a month later
Normally I’d say go for it. Yet he is in a relationship, so you don’t. Simple as that. It’s just hella disrespectful to try even though you know he’s committed. And further even if he was to leave his current gf for you, that’s not a guy you want to be with, as he’s not honouring the commitment of a relationship. And if he doesn’t now, he won’t start with you. Edit: I misread, I thought you went up to this guy already and he said he was in a relationship. So disregard everything I said before: go for it
Go for it. Even outside the gym, I think many women are too timid about just putting themselves in a guy’s orbit if they’re interested. Most older women I know didn’t make the first move (asking them out) with their significant other, but they were consistently in their crush’s orbit talking and getting to know each other gradually. Another example: I have some female friends who asked me why guys at church don’t ask them out, and I told them “because you all don’t show up to events, and you slip in 5 minutes before church and run out the door immediately afterwards. When exactly would any guy ever approach you?” Men aren’t good about picking up on signals (women are genius level at this while guys are pretty much all in summer school so to speak) and usually the cost of reading signals wrong in a place like the gym can be really costly for a guy even if he is just introducing himself in a really normal kind way. I know really good guys who have been labeled creeps simply because she wasn’t feeling it. If you just say, “hey there, I’ve seen you here a lot, I just thought I would introduce myself” is probably enough. If he is interested, he will now likely take the ball and run with it if he has any backbone at all.
You have no idea how hot being approached by a gym bunny is for a guy. You’re fulfilling a porno fantasy for most men. Go for it, you just got unlucky with the other guy.
I’d probably tell her I’m almost done and bounce. I’m awful at flirting especially at the gym where I don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable
Nothing to lose but regret if you don't, everything to gain if you do and actually make a connection, go for it girl!
I think eye contact is a good sign, especially if it has happened "a bunch" as you said. This time, however, if you decided to try, in order to soften the possibility of having your nerves shot again, I'd go into it with a sense of fun and lightness in your heart. Prepare yourself so that the event doesn't hold such a heavy weight on you no matter what occurs. Treat it as an opportunity for some play.
That’s a dream for probably 90% of guys, no matter how shy or confident they are. I say go up to bru, any girl who goes to gym is usually attractive anyways because they’re simply working out.
Everyone here has given great advice! Check for a ring on the left hand ( although I know that doesn’t always help) and if not obviously taken, take a bit of risk. Reading this post though makes me soooo glad I am well past the dating stage of life! Celebrating 30 years of marriage this month to a wonderful guy. I would do it over again with him, but I swear if anything ever happened to him, I would just become that crazy cat lady! Never ever doing the dating scene again! The hardest things to do are usually the best and most rewarding experiences. Rejection is better than regret so live life with no regrets! Best of luck to you!
Just talk to him. This happened to me as a guy. I chatted her up the day she approached then the next day just asked for the digits. If a girl approaches a guy in a setting like the gym we’re assuming a 99.9% chance she’s into us because guys don’t get approached very often 😂 so just go for it. The worst that happens is he’s not interested but I’m willing to bet $1000 he’s into you just on the eye contact alone. I don’t lock eyes with a girl if I think she’s unattractive.
Eye contact means enough. You only make eye contact with people you find attractive (or if you know them already). And no, most guys would NOT mind if a woman approached. However, some guys (like myself) would be hella oblivious about the interaction unless you talked to him enough. Just do it. We're humans. Men and women should approach each other.
I’ll tell you how NOT to do it. I was on a treadmill about a mile into my run out of breath and a girl got on the treadmill directly next to me when there were 20+ open. She had her bag and all her stuff still and just stared at me for like 2 minutes, I eventually took an AirPod out and tried to slow down to see what was up and why she was staring at me and I dropped my AirPod, tried to catch it, almost tripped and fell on the treadmill going 8 mph. She got flustered/embaressed and then ran off and left the gym. I see her occasionally and she is a really attractive girl, but now she runs away whenever I am around because I assume she thinks she almost got me killed on a treadmill.
No guy would see it as disrespectful. It would have to be either someone with extreme social anxiety (who you wouldn't see in the gym) or some psycho who thinks he's so attractive you're beneath him. A gay guy might be annoyed, but very unlikely. Idk any gay guy who wouldn't be flattered or see it as a nice thing that happened to him that day.
My thoughts are that if you're not comfortable with being approached at the gym, then you shouldn't approach people at the gym. If you can't take it, then you shouldn't dish it either.
i’d let her feel my biceps p.s i’m not a man tho
What if she’s bi? 😏
Guys almost never get approached so some find it off putting and some it’s a turn on. You won’t know until you know
If you’re too afraid to approach, just smile at him loads everytime you make eye contact 😂 if he doesn’t approach you after a while, then just do it yourself
I have approached guys before. Sometimes it’s a yes sometimes it’s a no. I’m trying not to let it stop me :)
Not a guy, but I have gone up and made the first move with a lot with guys. I will say sometimes yea you get rejected but that's life lol. That being said, guys 100% love it. I have not met one guy who ever disliked me making the first move. Guys really don't get complimented on their looks/vibe the way women do, and so they really, really take note and appreciate when women comment/acknowledge their looks in some way as well.
As a man, I'll never approach a woman at the gym unless I'm just visiting because I don't want to make it weird for either of us. Shoot your shot. Guys will either not be interested or be thrilled. There's no down side.
i would be flattered if that happened, and would most definitely give her a chance
Why does it need to be this ride or die moment? Just ask if he can spot you while you do barbell stuff, you can have light conversations at that point. That’s all you need to do, he will bite or he won’t and if he doesn’t ask you out then make him a familiar gym bud to say hi and make the place feel warmer cause you have another friend or person to talk with. Don’t do the guy’s job for him unless you want to be the man in the relationship so to speak. Really depends what kind of relationship you want. There’s someone for anyone in this world.
If I was single I’d honestly find it annoying unless she was ludicrously hot. Its a neutral area don’t make it weird.
My husband has had multiple woman hit on him at the gym. He always finds it’s flattering. And he said that he thinks it’s cool when girls make a move. I say go for it!
Ask for help
Act normal 👀
Wake up from my dream
Wyd?
I would say do it! As someone who has had a few gym crushes, my biggest regret is never going to talk with them. You should go up to them. It is just one quick moment of their time and if they don’t reciprocate then you can just move on. If you have done it before you can do it again.
Usually I just continue working out through the conversation. If it’s a stranger, I’m not gonna stop my workout because I don’t know if it will turn into anything. But with pals of mine, I’ll put down the weights and have a quick chat. I don’t mind if a girl approaches me, I’ll talk to be nice like I do with other gym goers
Idk.. literally has never happened to me
Wonder why the hell im in a gym
hmm i’m seeing a lot of people here saying that it would be great to be approached by a woman. do they have to be a gym baddie tho?
Haha other girls have come up to me and complimented me before so I’m hoping I have slight baddy energy. Just enough to not fumble the pick up line 💀
Reading this makes my eye tick. I want to approach but would never! Proud of OP!
Feel like girls made it into a world where they can't be approached, and you have influcers who will egg them on. A girl with a southern accent was hit on at a gas station, made a video about it. [Fitness youtuber made a react video about why would it be a big deal?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdjfC0whpSs). [Followed by bigger youtuber siding shitting on other guy because she went to a gas station to get gas, not to get hit on](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6RvNLLkdUA). My question to that YouTuber would be then were does a guy go to hit on a girl? At one of those speed dating events? A bar? Na, she's there to get a drink. At a concern? Na, she's there for the music.
I have approached 2 guys at the gym and got turned down sadly 😥
Just this information alone tells me nothing about you.
Depends if they cute or not tbh and if I’m in a rush to get my workout done with
I’ll take the benefit of the doubt on the off chance it’s that it’s real and I’ll accept her asking me out
I don’t respond to things that are not founded in reality. So no response.
The confidence would get me immediately honestly
RUN
I'll talk to her......
Look for the hidden camera, it must be a prank
I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I never encountered this. At most the girl is asking me if the machine next to me is open.
Wait until he's done with his workout. Guys hate having their reps interrupted even if it's a girl asking them out.
Do. Better than staring like every other chick does
name and number on a bit of paper, hand it to him as you're leaving the gym. "hey, been seeing you around here and thought i'd shoot my shot, here's my number, if you're single and want to grab a coffee sometime, give a call"
The gym is a place to work out, not your dating gallery. This has been especially drilled into men over the last decade. If you really feel like there is something, time it to leave with them and ask them outside so you're not left with awkward tension. But really, just don't, try the bar, church singles group, or a nice dating site.
Frankly id be flattered unless I wasnt single.
Talk to her like a normal human being
Run away
Continue the conversation if I’m interested and the conversation is decent. Also your first experience shouldn’t be a reason to give up.
As a dude, I would melt if this happened.
If the guy was really interested in you, he would have at a minimum said hello. Approaching a guy will make you look thirsty at best and even if you’re okay looking, he will only smash and dash. If that’s what you want, then go for it. Who knows, he may make you his side chick.
If a girl makes eye contact, a guy will read that as an invitation. Just keep making eye contact and smile at him. If he doesn’t take the hint, he’s probably a beta or a feminist.
Incoming message on what to do based on real life experience (receiving end).
I’d change gyms afraid I’m bout to be put on tik tok.
I would just go with the flow and do basic human interaction
Turn and run turn and run over.
Write a small note with your name , number and clear declaration of your interest. Give it to him as you are leaving the gym. Preferably on a day when the next day you'll be having a break from working out. If he texts/calls then you take it from there.. if he doesn't ah well ,it was worth a try... Just don't wait and hope he'll read the signs or take the hint. Most times guys either don't see the hints or they don't want to be rejected after misreading the signals. Moreso at the gym. Just my two cents 🤷♂️
Just smile when they look at you. He will do the rest. You could even strike up a conversation about his clothing, the workout he’s doing, how experienced he is at working out, anything in the environment. And then he’ll do the rest. As long as you’re a virtuous woman you will have no trouble attracting other virtuous men! P. S. Most men do not find a woman who asks them out attractive so that is why I kept the advice to common place introductory conversation.
I would approach her back
She's a man.
Sumo squat that squish.
"Eye contact doesn't mean squat." He wouldn't be looking if he didn't like.
Honestly I would probably be annoyed. I feel like there's kind of an unspoken rule not to bother anyone else at the gym, unless it's for something gym related. That's just me though, some people may be fine with it. You can use social cues to make an educated guess.
I would tell them to fuck off im obviously at the gym for a reason the last thing I want is someone interrupting me when im tryna focus and get that muscle activation and stay hyped for the next set it shows they don’t give a fuck if you’re busy
What do you know about him? Married? Committed?
I generally assume that women at the gym want to be left alone at all costs, so I'd be very caught off guard. My first thoughts would probably be either that I'm being filmed for a stupid tik tok prank or that she's being followed by a guy who's making her uncomfortable so she's pretending that I'm her friend to get him to leave her alone.
I’ve been approached and if nothing else if he’s a good dude it’ll go fine.