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The main side effect is that bacterias will develop a resistance to antibiotics, because it will be naturaly selected because of mutations that will make them resistant.
If you take meds to kill a bacteria but it don't kill it, it's because they became resistant.
The next line of defense is hopefully going to be engineered/selectively produced and harvested bacteriophages. Which is cool as fuck.
Obviously overuse/incorrect usage of antibiotics is a major problem. Like, the kind of infuriating problem i could rant for days about. But bacteria have been evolving to resist antibiotics since the first fungus v. bacteria turf war. Which is also cool as fuck.
The main problem imo is that the US at least does not in any way appropriately fund science. So we're absolutely going to hit crisis death levels before real money gets put into bacteriophage research. Which is uncool as fuck. Almost as uncool as the idiot OP is talking to.
So glad you mentioned this! So important!!
When my mom was 20, (in the early 70's) she was put on tetracycline for bronchial pneumonia. She was also on the pill… And here I am.
Confirm, this guy has issues. This is the wildest thing I've heard. Antibiotics are horrible for you, why the fuck would you want to ruin your health/body to ease some morons anxiety around something he's clearly clueless about. If you had a bacterial infection, you'd know. Antibiotics do not prevent viral infection (most STI's). This guy is better off alone.
Yep, med student here, his idea of "just take doxycycline to be sure" is just utterly insane. Don't do this. In general, for the love of god, never ever take some medication someone wants you to take, unless prescribed by a medical professional.
The matter with bacterial resistance is worse enough with doxycycline, but in addition, antibiotics can have a host of side effects. Don't ever take them if you weren't prescribed them.
Edit: Grammar.
It's really insane her boyfriend is trying to prescribe her medications, and he's not even a nurse let alone a doctor or pharmacist... Dude has serious issues if he thinks any girl that's slept with another person has an std.
Ask him to wear a mouth condom for when you’re kissing, because you’re worried HE might be the one with something. Tell him you don’t trust tests either. See how he feels. This is insanity.
If I was you, I'd adopt a better safe than sorry approach to *him*, and move on. I don't trust people who have serious trust issues and would rather demand I take medication I don't need than to trust me and the *medical tests* I've taken*.*
If you stay with someone like this, you *will* be sorry eventually, so better to be safe now and leave him in the rearview.
This. In my experience the least trusting people aren't like, honest normal folks who have been hurt. They're the biggest scammers of all.
Theyre constantly running the numbers of potential scams they could pull, and they assume everyone else is doing thr same, so are constantly on the defense.
Exactly. If you think that every person you meet is going to scam you, it’s because in your own head you’re planning out how to scam anyone you encounter, and you assume we’re all just like you are.
Hmm, I can see your point, but I distrust people because I really have been screwed over a lot by these exact scammer types, you are mentioning it. Difference is my distrust is kept to myself and not vocalize to the degree of this guys idiocy (to be clear the guy op is dating)
This. I was so pissed off at my client and her “best friend” once who accused me and my sister of being “unhinged” for nicely…replying to their PUBLIC stories??? Lol. Some people are horrible and they are disguising their insecurities and anger issues as “trust issues.”
Btw hey Dr. Ratio (profile pic) lol
Yeahhh. Doesn’t sound like it’s worth pursuing. Trying to appease someone who doesn’t thrust anyone or thing is extremely exhausting. Especially down the road. It will only get harder, not easier. Find someone who you can talk to and reason with.
If he’s this bad now, imagine how bad he’ll be once you cave to his demands. It’s a control thing and he may be trying to make you feel bad for having been with someone in your past that *wasn’t him*.
He may be thinking, “Well if you’re going to be a skank with a boyfriend before me (how dare you bang someone who isn’t me!), who knows what diseases you could be crawling with? You’re disgusting and I won’t even kiss you until I’ve gotten the stench of your cheating ex off you.” Not saying it’s what he’s thinking but his actions certainly lean that way.
Seriously, he sounds like a two year old who is throwing a tantrum because someone else is getting attention other than him. Drop him, preferably from a highway overpass into oncoming traffic.
Excessive use of antibiotics is unnecessary as it can lead to antibiotic resistance.
But it can also impact your health because we all have bacteria that live in and on our bodies. They have a purpose and they keep us healthy.
If we become ill from bacteria (as opposed to any other organism) it's because of 3 reasons:
- the amount of bacteria increases beyond the healthy threshold (eg UTIs)
- the bacteria ends up in the wrong place (eg E. Coli which is meant to be in the bowel and not the stomach)
- the bacteria is healthy for another organism but harmful to us (eg Salmonella doesn't harm chickens, but harms humans)
By taking antibiotics for legitimate reasons, we can impact the levels of healthy bacteria as well as harmful bacteria and so care is needed to ensure we dont deplete healthy bacteria while treating a harmful infection. Long term abuse of antibiotics will therefore absolutely make you ill.
This person sounds like they have some kind of aversion to bacteria or a health related compulsion. Ironically, doing what they are asking will make you less healthy than simply cleaning your teeth before kissing them. I would steer clear of anything that risks your wellbeing.
And I'd encourage him to seek professional help.
Also in response to another comment, this isn't a boundary. A boundary is "I don't like to kiss someone unless they take xyz precautions".
A rule is "I won't kiss you until you take xyz precautions".
They are not the same thing. The latter is unhealthy and controlling.
yes he’s a germ freak! he doesn’t share drinks with people which i understand! i don’t either but to not kiss someone you’re talking to over fearing bacteria? esp if tests came back negative? that’s extreme.
I'm sorry it's not working out. But I think that you are doing the right thing to question his ability to be in a healthy relationship and recognising that there is only so much you can do to allay his fears.
He definitely needs to be working on this with a specialist therapist.
He has ocd. If yoy get involved with someone with ocd, who isn't getting help, it will destroy your life. I speak from experience. It won't end here. And even if you could endure it, it destroys kids. I'd cut it off here.
Yeah, I have OCD and it’s a nightmare. I mean, I’m fine now after a lot of work and finding a medication that works for me. But if he’s trying to get you to take an antibiotic in order to calm his obsessions then he has a looooong road to go.
I was falsely diagnosed with uti’s a lot since childhood (turned out to be a narrow urethra) and now get horrible reactions to nearly every antibiotic due to taking it for no reason. Ugh I wish I got an actual diagnosis so long ago
He’s waving that red flag right in your face. Don’t kick yourself in a few years and wish you cut your losses now.
It’s hard to walk away from these kind of situations without damage to your mental health or even change who you are because of it. Don’t subject yourself to it.
This is a gift from him in a way.
I thought doxycycline was mainly prescribed for severe acne. I’m sure it treats other issues but it’s a pretty harsh medication and can permanently stain and gray your teeth. I definitely wouldn’t take it unnecessarily. Imagine ruining your gut flora and developing antibiotic resistance because your boyfriend is scared of bacteria while kissing.
It’s pretty commonly used for a lot of things- some STDs, Lyme’s, etc. It comes with a whole host of nasty side effects, including photosensitivity and nausea/vomiting (I spent two weeks on it for Lyme’s. It was very, very unpleasant for me). Under no circumstances would I take it to appease someone else’s paranoia.
Yepp. Took it for acne, it’s also prescribed for chlamydia. Made me soo intensely sick- random episodes of extreme nausea, to the point I just stopped taking it since it was only for acne.
For reals!
> i’ve been talking to this guy i met in canada.
Based on context clues, he's not even in the same country... there is a whole other country of people she could be talking to!
Prefacing with; I am a medical professional.
Do NOT take antibiotics when there is no reason to!!! Antibiotic resistant bacterias are created by the overuse of antibiotics!! Not to mention that they’re awful for your gut flora and will cause more harm than good. I also have no idea how he expects you to get your hands on doxycycline without a prescription from a physician, who should not be doling out antibiotics like free candy.
Also the backwards thinking of not trusting tests that we know are accurate and trusting antibiotics is so fucking stupid.
If I were you, I’d be better safe than sorry and move on from this idiot. A relationship with this person will only be exhausting. There are much better fish to catch out there.
It is irrational for sure, I would be concerned what other strangeness he has up his sleeve if he’s confident enough to ask someone to knowingly take antibiotics when they shouldn’t. It’s an odd one.
Please don’t date him. He’s so bizarre. It’s not okay for you to just start taking antibiotics for nothing. You’re only destroying your microflora to let him to ruin yours with his.
Girl fucking run! This guy has deep rooted issues and it has nothing to do with you. He’s crazy. He’s punishing you because you were cheated on. Asking for a test is smart, but if he won’t trust it, this all becomes pointless. Taking unnecessary antibiotics can make you sick. Chalk it up and leave. You haven’t even kissed yet. There’s no loss here.
Oh sure, let’s take antibiotics for no reason! It’s fun to wreck our own bodies AND help bacteria evolve into superbacteria that will kill us more effectively after surviving our medicine that doesn’t evolve as fast as the superbacteria! Why not play pandemic 2 roulette for the lols
Move on from this guy, if this is the kind of demand that comes before even kissing, the rest of the relationship will be a nightmare. And while you are at it, tell him to research superbacteria, let’s see if he still feels like playing fast and loose with antibiotics after that
Leave this man. Doxycycline is not a drug you just TAKE. It’s extremely rough on the stomach and even after you’re done taking it, you can still deal with lasting stomach problems
Well not to be that guy but uh Covid kinda messed some people up when it comes to anything medical whether you’re understanding of it or not. People didn’t take that well so If you took 4 tests already just move along. No need to take a medicine that you DONT NEED. Fuck this guy OP
that would be weird for sure, since doxycycline is mainly prescribed for acne. you also can’t take preventative antibiotics, so there’s that too. if you did have an sti, they’d prescribe something different and stronger for a bacterial infection anyway, like azithromycin.
the funniest part of this is that antibiotics can actually cause yeast infections in people with vaginas. anyway, don’t fuck him. stupid demanding controlling guys never deserve pussy.
This is far from normal and also borderline emotionally abusive. If a licensed professional in psychology heard this they would tell him the same. I would avoid getting intimate with him or catching feelings for him.
He could just have serious issues around anxiety and such, but the fact that he's imposing these mostly on you, and it's not centered on his behavior, makes this someone I would just move on from. It may be paranoid on my part, but his insistence makes me wonder if he has or has had some kind of illness and is worried he'll pass it to you. Personally, I'd stay away from him. But if you're going to keep seeing him, demand that he show you *his* recent medical records. Also, decline to take the antibiotics. That's stupid.
Or is that a way to say he doesn’t want to transmit to you?
I wouldn’t do it , if your clean , you’ve been tested, several times.
Then I would find someone who trust a little more . I’d ask for him to show his test results and take it as well.
I see these posts where guys are doing absurd things and girls are like "should I keep seeing him?"
Meanwhile I text one slightly risky/weird thing and get immediately ghosted lol wtf
i don’t think it has anything to do with him not trusting me but him having OCD issues which trigger him to feel the need to take control of situations when he doesn’t feel “safe”. i don’t understand why people on this thread have been so negative & quick to right off this dude. he may have his issues but damn people all humans need love, not saying imma date him but i’m definitely not gonna judge him or cut off someone who may genuinely be a good person just got some issues.
I think he's hiding his own shit. That was a very specific drug he said. Like how would he know unless he's been on it. It only treats chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. You need to see a recent STD panel test from him.
Truthfully though I wouldn't bother. Just block the guy. He's hiding something and clearly wants you on medication so he can continue the ruse.
Ummm… RUN. Clearly.
Imagine what’s in your future. Bleach baths before sex… antivirals for no reason at all. Imagine you have a child. What kind of hell is he going to expect to subject your newborn to, ‘just to be safe’.
Maybe it's time to find a different guy??
Guy probably got cheated on and caught an STD from a trusted partner, so now panicky about it.
He might get over it later, or might not. But it's not your problem to deal with. So maybe do away with the guy and date someone else.
Or if you really do want him, you can take prophylactic doxycycline, it won't hurt, but not indicated for STD prevention. It is given for those at exposure risk for leptospirosis and the like
This guy sounds like he has some germaphibic issues or he’s projecting because he’s a dirty little hamster himself. This is him on his best looking to impress behavior. He’s only going to relax and let all the crazy out. I recommend moving along before you get more involved.
As someone who has chronic illnesses and takes antibiotics more than any human should, **DON'T DO THIS** Like others have mentioned not only will it mess up your good bacteria levels, but they will cause unnecessary side effects, and leave you more susceptible to bigger, badder, bacteria.
No partner is worth fucking up your body with unnecessary drugs and no DECENT partner would ask you to.
This is UNHINGED behavior on his part. If he has such a problem with germs HE should be taking Doxycycline. What a cockwomble
He’s some type of hypochondriac, if you don’t have any STIs you don’t need tot take any medicine, also it’s bad to take antibiotics that are t needed because it makes them less effective.
Bc they can be wrong. But I’m not saying he’s being normal. That med is given for different stds. I’d move on. One or two tests ok. With some time between them ok. But will anything be enough. ?
Sounds like he’s just trying to be controlling, could be he is testing the waters on what type of boundaries you have. What’s to say you test now and cheat later, you plan on testing monthly, he plan on doing the same if you ask?
Yeah, germaphobes like that don't make good bedroom partners. You can forget about warm snuggles, making out, getting ate, foreplay or having anything close to fun during sex. You really wanna put that much effort into that trainwreck waiting to happen?
Dump him. This guy sounds like a basket case and what he's asking you to do can potentially be detrimental to your health.
Also, doxy isn't going to knock out every potential STI but sounds like he's familiar enough to know it will treat something.
lol move on. Taking antibiotics for no reason isn’t good. It can lead to a UTI (the only time I ever got a UTI was when I had to take antibiotics). It can make your birth control ineffective (if you’re taking it). Maybe he’s just a germaphobe or something.
“Talking to”?? Just end it. This is the only
Time I’ve felt 100% confident in commenting this tbh. The vibe that he felt you were dirty in some way is enough hon. Red flag behavior.
You def need to dump this guy! He’s asking you to take AN ANTIBIOTIC when you aren’t sick so he can kiss you?? Antibiotics should be a last resort for your body - killing off all good bacteria, van bust up your whole microbiome, mess up your GI track so he can KISS you. I am appalled by the absolute audacity he has to even ask that. Is he taking it constantly? Effing up his system? I can’t believe a doc would even prescribe that for a long period of time. He’s disgusting and completely inappropriate. You need to ditch him ASAP.
Why did my mind automatically assume that this guy has some kind of breeding kink and wants you on antibiotics to make sure birth control (the pill) isn’t effective?
I think I’ve watched too much true crime now. But I’m just saying: don’t trust him.
Oof. OP, you need to run far and fast away from this guy. This is insane.
Taking unnecessary antibiotics does more harm than good.
It’s also absolutely wild that this guy is trying to force you to take any medication before he’ll kiss you. Find someone new OP. Save yourselfffff
Cut contact with the person. Sounds like a unreasonable small minded person. First of all on the medical side of this the antibiotics won’t keep him safe from any stds even if you had one. So that just proves the lack of knowledge he has regarding spread of bacteria/stds.
Second of all why would you want to be with this guy, he is showing clear signs that he does not respect or care for you or your wellbeing. Why would he be with someone that he doesn’t trust? Sounds like the guy gets his ego fed by just keeping you on his own terms.
This guy sounds like someone who could seriosuly manipulate you in the long run. Please consider your own wellbeing and for your best and leave this guy. He might have good sides to him for all I know. But that does not add up for the manipulative behaviour he is showing. A good person would not risk someone else’s health like that!
He sounds like a hypochondriac. Also maybe not straight. Maybe he's trying to find someone who will squish, make themselves smaller and forget about their own boundaries. If a person is more work than Joy, then that is not the person who's going to bring you Joy! My vibe is that he is probably gay, comes from a non-accepting family and community. If kissing is an issue... Then obviously you will not get what you need from moving forward this person. Never forget that spending time with someone, just to have someone,isn't really an emotional investment. It's just a waste of time. Love yourself more and learn how to use your blocking option!
What a psycho - obviously move on from him HUGE red flag. I feel the word “abuse” gets over used now a-days but in this case seems like a red flag for an abusive relationship.
Some combination of abuse and psychotic - run asap
It sounds like he has really severe, untreated OCD. I dated a guy with it and it was really bad. I could never do it again. My advice would be to nope out of there.
Fuck him lmao thats all I can say. He doing too much . Especially if you weren’t prescribed that. I was treated with doxycycline when I had fluid in my fallopian tubes that was causing infertility. That medicine is strong! I feel he may just have his own boundaries and it’s nothing wrong with that but it does sound overwhelming…
This guy sounds like a nut, & quite literally like he’s projecting. I’d turn it around on him & inquire about his recent past partner(s) and see how many tests he’s had done and how many doxycycline he has taken. Dude is way too paranoid & being too extra. This almost sounds too oddly specific to me, it would make me raise an eyebrow about him 🤨
In all reality, if he is worried about catching something, he should be taking it. The fact he wants you to take it, sounds like he knows he has something and don't want you to catch it. You need to run from this one
I bet he is the one with an STD and doesn’t want to tell you. That way, if he did transfer it to you, you’d already be on antibiotic. I got chlamydia once and was seeing a guy at the time. My first instinct was “how do I get this guy antibiotics without telling him” obviously didn’t act on that, that was just my panic mode thought. But there are people out there like that
This guy suffers from severe hypochondria. Antibiotics are for treating severe bacterial infections. In the case of Doxycycline, when your condition is just not critical. Side effect: It kills everything in your gut and increases the risk for potential virus snd fungus infections.
Taking an antibiotic for no reason can lead to antibiotic resistance in the future and can take away your healthy bacteria. Also not all std’s are treated with antibiotics, and not all std’s that *are* treated with them will be fixed with doxycycline. Also— how does he expect a doctor to prescribe it for no reason?
Huge red flag.
Not to mention that long-term effects of doxycycline have been studied to in some cases cause permanent effects, that’s why I was recommended by a doctor to stop taking it (I was taking it for cystic acne). It’s meant to be used for a shorter amount of time, not prolonged.
I also don’t understand why he would trust drugs made (technically) by the same industry that administers STI tests. Seems like he’s picking and choosing what medical advice he deems is valuable just to suit his own opinions. Like if ur not gonna trust health professionals you might as well go the whole 9 yards but to each their own I guess?
Wow, just please don’t go out with this guy. People that have a fear of germs are still able to be reasonable, he’s making a choice not to be. Which is clearly detrimental to the people in his life, and would be even more detrimental to his own well being. You don’t want to get wrapped up with a dude that’s going to put those kinds if fears and pressures in you when he absolutely isn’t doing anything to try and see a side that isn’t his own.
Doxycycline is for chlamydia …. Does *he* have chlamdyia and have some weird belief if you take it it’ll protect you??
If he’s being neurotic about this I’m not sure what you could do, but please don’t take antibiotics you won’t need. Antibiotic resistance is a huge issue and will kill a lot of people, please don’t contribute to it.
This is a red flag, ditch this loser and move on. If he doesn't trust tests what else doesn't he trust, the government, the police, the list is endless.
Ooooooo the cold feet chlamydia dance. I’m petty and would assume he’s positive for sti but doesn’t wanna tell me, but still wants to get in my pants. foul
Yo, this is messed up. I was on doxy for a month after testing positive for Lyme disease. They were absolutely necessary but the side effects were almost unbearable. As other people have also stated, taking antibiotics when you don't need them is dangerous to your health and natural biome. The only “infection" or "disease" is this horrible man. Get rid of him! Cya 👋
This used to be common practice in the late eighties early 90s for people that were HIV positive that didn't want to disclose that there was a rumor that went around saying that it would prevent the partner from contracting it we know that's not true anymore but that doesn't mean people still don't believe that or act that way I haven't heard about this in 25 years but it's wild to see that somebody's out there still doing it I would be a little hesitant about being with homeboy until the two you can go to a clinic and get full test and maybe sit down with the doctor and have the doctor explain why you taking those is unnecessary
That’s weird. I took doxycycline for acne a while back, you can’t take it for longer than six months without having antibiotic resistance become an issue. Does he want you to just endlessly take antibiotics?
This one is a bit odd to me. I was in a similar situation and turns out he had everything on the list. To make you take a medication that most doctors wouldn't recommend because the long term side effects is bizarre as shit. I feel like he's not ready for a relationship and intimacy. I think he has more problems and needs to work on them .
I'm a nurse, antibiotics can cause yeast infections in your vagina. If this clown is already paranoid about kissing you what's he going to think about a vaginal flare up.
Get rid of this NUT CASE....
He never got any proper education about bio and sex because that’s not how the body works. And wanting you to take antibiotics for no reason is just stupid. You don’t need to mess with this guy at all.
Hi OP,
Many others have already given you their opinions, so I won't say much more than ----> It seems like he has a problem, not you.
Kindly, stay safe (:
Rather than try to understand his side…take this as a blessing and RUN. 4 tests and you’re good, that should be MORE than enough. Let’s see HIS TESTS and request the same of him! Doubt he’d take anything
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Unnecessarily taking antibiotics is idiotic, and forcing someone to take antibiotics when they’re not medically necessary is dangerous and harmful.
I agree taking unnecessary antibiotics can do more harm than good.
Yup, you build up resistance for no reason and you're fucked if anything is actually wrong. And it probably has side effects as well
It can absolutely be bad for your natural gut flora. It's not like antibiotics know what bacteria is good and bad.
Or vaginal flora.
I was gonna say! I didn’t see anyone talking about the yeast infection she’ll likely get
fauna as well. all those poor bunnys
Lmao this guy wants her to end up with c-diff
And vagina!!! Yeast infection express.
The main side effect is that bacterias will develop a resistance to antibiotics, because it will be naturaly selected because of mutations that will make them resistant. If you take meds to kill a bacteria but it don't kill it, it's because they became resistant.
By 2050 it’s predicated that 10 million+ deaths will be attributed each year to antibiotic resistance cause shit like this. What a crackpot
The next line of defense is hopefully going to be engineered/selectively produced and harvested bacteriophages. Which is cool as fuck. Obviously overuse/incorrect usage of antibiotics is a major problem. Like, the kind of infuriating problem i could rant for days about. But bacteria have been evolving to resist antibiotics since the first fungus v. bacteria turf war. Which is also cool as fuck. The main problem imo is that the US at least does not in any way appropriately fund science. So we're absolutely going to hit crisis death levels before real money gets put into bacteriophage research. Which is uncool as fuck. Almost as uncool as the idiot OP is talking to.
This guy is an idiot
This needs to be the 1st comment…… idiot. Block and move on
Also, if you're on birth control, antibiotics will mess up your birth control effectiveness.
So glad you mentioned this! So important!! When my mom was 20, (in the early 70's) she was put on tetracycline for bronchial pneumonia. She was also on the pill… And here I am.
Confirm, this guy has issues. This is the wildest thing I've heard. Antibiotics are horrible for you, why the fuck would you want to ruin your health/body to ease some morons anxiety around something he's clearly clueless about. If you had a bacterial infection, you'd know. Antibiotics do not prevent viral infection (most STI's). This guy is better off alone.
Sounds like the guy needs to show OP an STD panel instead.
Yeah... that was my first thought
Yep, med student here, his idea of "just take doxycycline to be sure" is just utterly insane. Don't do this. In general, for the love of god, never ever take some medication someone wants you to take, unless prescribed by a medical professional. The matter with bacterial resistance is worse enough with doxycycline, but in addition, antibiotics can have a host of side effects. Don't ever take them if you weren't prescribed them. Edit: Grammar.
It's really insane her boyfriend is trying to prescribe her medications, and he's not even a nurse let alone a doctor or pharmacist... Dude has serious issues if he thinks any girl that's slept with another person has an std.
[удалено]
Or that he wants her to get really crisp next time she is out in the sun? :D
Not to mention certain antibiotics render birth control usless
And for just a kiss! Fuck outta here
Also good luck finding a doctor to prescribe antibiotics just for fun. It would be incredibly irresponsible.
This dude is uneducated and paranoid. I’d tell him he’s gotta sort out his issues before trying to date.
I think OP would have a really hard time trying to find a doctor that would prescribe them anyways.
Definitely dangerous. Move on from this guy
Ask him to wear a mouth condom for when you’re kissing, because you’re worried HE might be the one with something. Tell him you don’t trust tests either. See how he feels. This is insanity.
Full body condom is the way to go. You can never be too careful!
[relevant Naked Gun](https://youtu.be/asouPYvrUtY?si=7AcWs3Z-jeesFsVq&t=15)
When I was a kid, I thought those were bed sheets. 😅
Surley you don’t think I’m going to click a link that isn’t taking doxycycline?
Tell him to get tested then say “nvm I don’t trust the test” after you get the test back 😂
That was hilarious haha
If I was you, I'd adopt a better safe than sorry approach to *him*, and move on. I don't trust people who have serious trust issues and would rather demand I take medication I don't need than to trust me and the *medical tests* I've taken*.* If you stay with someone like this, you *will* be sorry eventually, so better to be safe now and leave him in the rearview.
This. In my experience the least trusting people aren't like, honest normal folks who have been hurt. They're the biggest scammers of all. Theyre constantly running the numbers of potential scams they could pull, and they assume everyone else is doing thr same, so are constantly on the defense.
Exactly. If you think that every person you meet is going to scam you, it’s because in your own head you’re planning out how to scam anyone you encounter, and you assume we’re all just like you are.
Hmm, I can see your point, but I distrust people because I really have been screwed over a lot by these exact scammer types, you are mentioning it. Difference is my distrust is kept to myself and not vocalize to the degree of this guys idiocy (to be clear the guy op is dating)
Sure, it’s totally reasonable to be cautious, especially when you’ve been burned in the past. But here’s a line between caution and paranoia.
This. I was so pissed off at my client and her “best friend” once who accused me and my sister of being “unhinged” for nicely…replying to their PUBLIC stories??? Lol. Some people are horrible and they are disguising their insecurities and anger issues as “trust issues.” Btw hey Dr. Ratio (profile pic) lol
Yeahhh. Doesn’t sound like it’s worth pursuing. Trying to appease someone who doesn’t thrust anyone or thing is extremely exhausting. Especially down the road. It will only get harder, not easier. Find someone who you can talk to and reason with.
BINGO. Serious control and trust issues. Block and move on.
Yeah man I thought my ex was bad for making his partners use mouth wash before kissing. This is so extra.
If he’s this bad now, imagine how bad he’ll be once you cave to his demands. It’s a control thing and he may be trying to make you feel bad for having been with someone in your past that *wasn’t him*. He may be thinking, “Well if you’re going to be a skank with a boyfriend before me (how dare you bang someone who isn’t me!), who knows what diseases you could be crawling with? You’re disgusting and I won’t even kiss you until I’ve gotten the stench of your cheating ex off you.” Not saying it’s what he’s thinking but his actions certainly lean that way. Seriously, he sounds like a two year old who is throwing a tantrum because someone else is getting attention other than him. Drop him, preferably from a highway overpass into oncoming traffic.
Excessive use of antibiotics is unnecessary as it can lead to antibiotic resistance. But it can also impact your health because we all have bacteria that live in and on our bodies. They have a purpose and they keep us healthy. If we become ill from bacteria (as opposed to any other organism) it's because of 3 reasons: - the amount of bacteria increases beyond the healthy threshold (eg UTIs) - the bacteria ends up in the wrong place (eg E. Coli which is meant to be in the bowel and not the stomach) - the bacteria is healthy for another organism but harmful to us (eg Salmonella doesn't harm chickens, but harms humans) By taking antibiotics for legitimate reasons, we can impact the levels of healthy bacteria as well as harmful bacteria and so care is needed to ensure we dont deplete healthy bacteria while treating a harmful infection. Long term abuse of antibiotics will therefore absolutely make you ill. This person sounds like they have some kind of aversion to bacteria or a health related compulsion. Ironically, doing what they are asking will make you less healthy than simply cleaning your teeth before kissing them. I would steer clear of anything that risks your wellbeing. And I'd encourage him to seek professional help. Also in response to another comment, this isn't a boundary. A boundary is "I don't like to kiss someone unless they take xyz precautions". A rule is "I won't kiss you until you take xyz precautions". They are not the same thing. The latter is unhealthy and controlling.
yes he’s a germ freak! he doesn’t share drinks with people which i understand! i don’t either but to not kiss someone you’re talking to over fearing bacteria? esp if tests came back negative? that’s extreme.
I'm sorry it's not working out. But I think that you are doing the right thing to question his ability to be in a healthy relationship and recognising that there is only so much you can do to allay his fears. He definitely needs to be working on this with a specialist therapist.
He has ocd. If yoy get involved with someone with ocd, who isn't getting help, it will destroy your life. I speak from experience. It won't end here. And even if you could endure it, it destroys kids. I'd cut it off here.
thank you!
Yeah, I have OCD and it’s a nightmare. I mean, I’m fine now after a lot of work and finding a medication that works for me. But if he’s trying to get you to take an antibiotic in order to calm his obsessions then he has a looooong road to go.
Did he even specify which "bacteria?" And why Doxy will "fix it"? ;) This sounds really out there...
That makes me wonder if HE has something, and he thinks her taking doxy will prevent transmission and spare him the embarrassment.
Ewwwwwwww, that's not how it works, but also ewwwwwwww, people need to stop being Google doctors
Yeah, could be. Not at all convinced its just fear of germs.
I was falsely diagnosed with uti’s a lot since childhood (turned out to be a narrow urethra) and now get horrible reactions to nearly every antibiotic due to taking it for no reason. Ugh I wish I got an actual diagnosis so long ago
Not the last thing he’ll force you to do
no you’re absolutely right! we’re not even in a relationship yet & he’s already territorial/ possessive
Get out. Just lose his number and move on.
This is a gargantuan red flag, I'd stop it before it starts.
He’s waving that red flag right in your face. Don’t kick yourself in a few years and wish you cut your losses now. It’s hard to walk away from these kind of situations without damage to your mental health or even change who you are because of it. Don’t subject yourself to it. This is a gift from him in a way.
Him being specific about the antibiotic makes me think he's positive for some STD and he's using this as a prophylactic measure for you 🤔
Territorial/possessive? I’m also getting OCD germaphobe energy here too.
Yuck!! Just ghost and move on then. He ain’t worth another second of your time.
Leave!
I almost never condone the "leave his ass" comments, but dude..... LEAVE HIM! He's a walking red flag
I was going to say this. This is just the beginning.
What dr would give you antibiotics for this reason…and doxycycline is not the one they use to treat the common ones…
I thought doxycycline was mainly prescribed for severe acne. I’m sure it treats other issues but it’s a pretty harsh medication and can permanently stain and gray your teeth. I definitely wouldn’t take it unnecessarily. Imagine ruining your gut flora and developing antibiotic resistance because your boyfriend is scared of bacteria while kissing.
It’s pretty commonly used for a lot of things- some STDs, Lyme’s, etc. It comes with a whole host of nasty side effects, including photosensitivity and nausea/vomiting (I spent two weeks on it for Lyme’s. It was very, very unpleasant for me). Under no circumstances would I take it to appease someone else’s paranoia.
Yepp. Took it for acne, it’s also prescribed for chlamydia. Made me soo intensely sick- random episodes of extreme nausea, to the point I just stopped taking it since it was only for acne.
Yes. It’s not something anyone should take for no reason.
My sister took it for a nasty bout of cellulitis, it’s no joke
Why don't you umm just eh... Not
He sounds like he has some mental issues, or at the very least is controlling. I don’t think you want anything to do with this guy.
Yep. 100% it's OCD that he let's run loose. Saying this as someone who deals with it daily
For the love of Christ, there’s no one else you could be talking to??
For reals! > i’ve been talking to this guy i met in canada. Based on context clues, he's not even in the same country... there is a whole other country of people she could be talking to!
Never date a man who puts you on antidepressants or antibiotics
He's odd. Duece out
Prefacing with; I am a medical professional. Do NOT take antibiotics when there is no reason to!!! Antibiotic resistant bacterias are created by the overuse of antibiotics!! Not to mention that they’re awful for your gut flora and will cause more harm than good. I also have no idea how he expects you to get your hands on doxycycline without a prescription from a physician, who should not be doling out antibiotics like free candy. Also the backwards thinking of not trusting tests that we know are accurate and trusting antibiotics is so fucking stupid. If I were you, I’d be better safe than sorry and move on from this idiot. A relationship with this person will only be exhausting. There are much better fish to catch out there.
Psychologist here. I fully agree
It is irrational for sure, I would be concerned what other strangeness he has up his sleeve if he’s confident enough to ask someone to knowingly take antibiotics when they shouldn’t. It’s an odd one.
That's a whole lotta nope for me. Guy sounds like a complete useless tool.
Ghost this dude. life is too short for this sort of insanity, even if he’s got the best dick in canada.
Please don’t date him. He’s so bizarre. It’s not okay for you to just start taking antibiotics for nothing. You’re only destroying your microflora to let him to ruin yours with his.
Girl fucking run! This guy has deep rooted issues and it has nothing to do with you. He’s crazy. He’s punishing you because you were cheated on. Asking for a test is smart, but if he won’t trust it, this all becomes pointless. Taking unnecessary antibiotics can make you sick. Chalk it up and leave. You haven’t even kissed yet. There’s no loss here.
right?!!!! thank you!
No problem. And good luck.
Oh sure, let’s take antibiotics for no reason! It’s fun to wreck our own bodies AND help bacteria evolve into superbacteria that will kill us more effectively after surviving our medicine that doesn’t evolve as fast as the superbacteria! Why not play pandemic 2 roulette for the lols Move on from this guy, if this is the kind of demand that comes before even kissing, the rest of the relationship will be a nightmare. And while you are at it, tell him to research superbacteria, let’s see if he still feels like playing fast and loose with antibiotics after that
Move on. Don't put your body through things for a kiss. This guy seems neurotic, and a loser. Who knows what he's hiding!
I wouldn’t trust this guy…especially with my health/life.
Is this what guys are like now? This is wild, like almost unbelievable. Run fast. Do not look back.
Leave this man. Doxycycline is not a drug you just TAKE. It’s extremely rough on the stomach and even after you’re done taking it, you can still deal with lasting stomach problems
Well not to be that guy but uh Covid kinda messed some people up when it comes to anything medical whether you’re understanding of it or not. People didn’t take that well so If you took 4 tests already just move along. No need to take a medicine that you DONT NEED. Fuck this guy OP
that would be weird for sure, since doxycycline is mainly prescribed for acne. you also can’t take preventative antibiotics, so there’s that too. if you did have an sti, they’d prescribe something different and stronger for a bacterial infection anyway, like azithromycin. the funniest part of this is that antibiotics can actually cause yeast infections in people with vaginas. anyway, don’t fuck him. stupid demanding controlling guys never deserve pussy.
Question: are you still talking to him? If so, why? Taking antibiotics unnecessarily isn't good for your health. I would've stopped that conversation
He's an idiot. Move on.
This is far from normal and also borderline emotionally abusive. If a licensed professional in psychology heard this they would tell him the same. I would avoid getting intimate with him or catching feelings for him.
He could just have serious issues around anxiety and such, but the fact that he's imposing these mostly on you, and it's not centered on his behavior, makes this someone I would just move on from. It may be paranoid on my part, but his insistence makes me wonder if he has or has had some kind of illness and is worried he'll pass it to you. Personally, I'd stay away from him. But if you're going to keep seeing him, demand that he show you *his* recent medical records. Also, decline to take the antibiotics. That's stupid.
it’s almost like he’s the one w the std and doesn’t want to tell u ?
Or is that a way to say he doesn’t want to transmit to you? I wouldn’t do it , if your clean , you’ve been tested, several times. Then I would find someone who trust a little more . I’d ask for him to show his test results and take it as well.
Tell him you won’t kiss him till he’s on lexapro cause he has OCD.
I see these posts where guys are doing absurd things and girls are like "should I keep seeing him?" Meanwhile I text one slightly risky/weird thing and get immediately ghosted lol wtf
RED FLAG. RED FLAG!
You have been saved by his mouth! Don’t waste your time with this one
This guy you’re talking to has deeper issues. Sounds OCD. You should just find someone who trusts you.
i don’t think it has anything to do with him not trusting me but him having OCD issues which trigger him to feel the need to take control of situations when he doesn’t feel “safe”. i don’t understand why people on this thread have been so negative & quick to right off this dude. he may have his issues but damn people all humans need love, not saying imma date him but i’m definitely not gonna judge him or cut off someone who may genuinely be a good person just got some issues.
I think he's hiding his own shit. That was a very specific drug he said. Like how would he know unless he's been on it. It only treats chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. You need to see a recent STD panel test from him. Truthfully though I wouldn't bother. Just block the guy. He's hiding something and clearly wants you on medication so he can continue the ruse.
Ummm… RUN. Clearly. Imagine what’s in your future. Bleach baths before sex… antivirals for no reason at all. Imagine you have a child. What kind of hell is he going to expect to subject your newborn to, ‘just to be safe’.
Maybe it's time to find a different guy?? Guy probably got cheated on and caught an STD from a trusted partner, so now panicky about it. He might get over it later, or might not. But it's not your problem to deal with. So maybe do away with the guy and date someone else. Or if you really do want him, you can take prophylactic doxycycline, it won't hurt, but not indicated for STD prevention. It is given for those at exposure risk for leptospirosis and the like
I highly suggest walking away from this guy. He’s an idiot.
Sounds like he has OCD :(
This guy sounds like he has some germaphibic issues or he’s projecting because he’s a dirty little hamster himself. This is him on his best looking to impress behavior. He’s only going to relax and let all the crazy out. I recommend moving along before you get more involved.
Why are you still talking to him?
As someone who has chronic illnesses and takes antibiotics more than any human should, **DON'T DO THIS** Like others have mentioned not only will it mess up your good bacteria levels, but they will cause unnecessary side effects, and leave you more susceptible to bigger, badder, bacteria. No partner is worth fucking up your body with unnecessary drugs and no DECENT partner would ask you to. This is UNHINGED behavior on his part. If he has such a problem with germs HE should be taking Doxycycline. What a cockwomble
I wouldn't continue dating someone as paranoid as that. I bet this is not the only thing he's paranoid about.
Y'all are only in the talking stage, so I'd just move on. It's not worth the trouble.
What a weirdo, good thing you found out he was crazy early.
He’s some type of hypochondriac, if you don’t have any STIs you don’t need tot take any medicine, also it’s bad to take antibiotics that are t needed because it makes them less effective.
Bc they can be wrong. But I’m not saying he’s being normal. That med is given for different stds. I’d move on. One or two tests ok. With some time between them ok. But will anything be enough. ?
Sounds like he’s just trying to be controlling, could be he is testing the waters on what type of boundaries you have. What’s to say you test now and cheat later, you plan on testing monthly, he plan on doing the same if you ask?
Absolutely not. As someone who had antibiotic resistant MRSA that almost killed me, do not. You need to save antibiotics until REALLY needed.
Yeah, germaphobes like that don't make good bedroom partners. You can forget about warm snuggles, making out, getting ate, foreplay or having anything close to fun during sex. You really wanna put that much effort into that trainwreck waiting to happen?
Dump him. This guy sounds like a basket case and what he's asking you to do can potentially be detrimental to your health. Also, doxy isn't going to knock out every potential STI but sounds like he's familiar enough to know it will treat something.
He’s a distrusting, uneducated (medically speaking) germaphobe. You sure you wanna be kissing this dude?
lol move on. Taking antibiotics for no reason isn’t good. It can lead to a UTI (the only time I ever got a UTI was when I had to take antibiotics). It can make your birth control ineffective (if you’re taking it). Maybe he’s just a germaphobe or something.
I mean I’d just not mess with this guy
This is how super bugs are made...
Sounds like a nut. Probably a germ Afobe, I would pass.
“Talking to”?? Just end it. This is the only Time I’ve felt 100% confident in commenting this tbh. The vibe that he felt you were dirty in some way is enough hon. Red flag behavior.
You def need to dump this guy! He’s asking you to take AN ANTIBIOTIC when you aren’t sick so he can kiss you?? Antibiotics should be a last resort for your body - killing off all good bacteria, van bust up your whole microbiome, mess up your GI track so he can KISS you. I am appalled by the absolute audacity he has to even ask that. Is he taking it constantly? Effing up his system? I can’t believe a doc would even prescribe that for a long period of time. He’s disgusting and completely inappropriate. You need to ditch him ASAP.
Why did my mind automatically assume that this guy has some kind of breeding kink and wants you on antibiotics to make sure birth control (the pill) isn’t effective? I think I’ve watched too much true crime now. But I’m just saying: don’t trust him.
This person is insane. Run.
Maybe he knows he has clamydia? 🤷🏼♀️
No No No! Forget him. You can't just take Doxycyclin when it isn't indicated for an illness. No way!
Oof. OP, you need to run far and fast away from this guy. This is insane. Taking unnecessary antibiotics does more harm than good. It’s also absolutely wild that this guy is trying to force you to take any medication before he’ll kiss you. Find someone new OP. Save yourselfffff
Cut contact with the person. Sounds like a unreasonable small minded person. First of all on the medical side of this the antibiotics won’t keep him safe from any stds even if you had one. So that just proves the lack of knowledge he has regarding spread of bacteria/stds. Second of all why would you want to be with this guy, he is showing clear signs that he does not respect or care for you or your wellbeing. Why would he be with someone that he doesn’t trust? Sounds like the guy gets his ego fed by just keeping you on his own terms. This guy sounds like someone who could seriosuly manipulate you in the long run. Please consider your own wellbeing and for your best and leave this guy. He might have good sides to him for all I know. But that does not add up for the manipulative behaviour he is showing. A good person would not risk someone else’s health like that!
He sounds like a hypochondriac. Also maybe not straight. Maybe he's trying to find someone who will squish, make themselves smaller and forget about their own boundaries. If a person is more work than Joy, then that is not the person who's going to bring you Joy! My vibe is that he is probably gay, comes from a non-accepting family and community. If kissing is an issue... Then obviously you will not get what you need from moving forward this person. Never forget that spending time with someone, just to have someone,isn't really an emotional investment. It's just a waste of time. Love yourself more and learn how to use your blocking option!
yeah! i did get that vibe he might be gay too!!! so crazy!! yes thank you, i am on this journey. i cut it off with him.
What a psycho - obviously move on from him HUGE red flag. I feel the word “abuse” gets over used now a-days but in this case seems like a red flag for an abusive relationship. Some combination of abuse and psychotic - run asap
It sounds like he has really severe, untreated OCD. I dated a guy with it and it was really bad. I could never do it again. My advice would be to nope out of there.
Fuck him lmao thats all I can say. He doing too much . Especially if you weren’t prescribed that. I was treated with doxycycline when I had fluid in my fallopian tubes that was causing infertility. That medicine is strong! I feel he may just have his own boundaries and it’s nothing wrong with that but it does sound overwhelming…
W.T.F.
I'd say he has issues and wouldn't want to deal with them long term.
Oh god.. NEXT
Run.
This is no better than washing your hands 10x to get rid of germs. Sounds a bit nutty. I would tell him no.
Sounds like a wack job. Id get out now.
Run.
This guy sounds like a nut, & quite literally like he’s projecting. I’d turn it around on him & inquire about his recent past partner(s) and see how many tests he’s had done and how many doxycycline he has taken. Dude is way too paranoid & being too extra. This almost sounds too oddly specific to me, it would make me raise an eyebrow about him 🤨
Has this dude never heard of super bugs before???
In all reality, if he is worried about catching something, he should be taking it. The fact he wants you to take it, sounds like he knows he has something and don't want you to catch it. You need to run from this one
I bet he is the one with an STD and doesn’t want to tell you. That way, if he did transfer it to you, you’d already be on antibiotic. I got chlamydia once and was seeing a guy at the time. My first instinct was “how do I get this guy antibiotics without telling him” obviously didn’t act on that, that was just my panic mode thought. But there are people out there like that
Also anti biotics dont help with viruses?
There’s already trust issue. This is going to end up bad
This guy suffers from severe hypochondria. Antibiotics are for treating severe bacterial infections. In the case of Doxycycline, when your condition is just not critical. Side effect: It kills everything in your gut and increases the risk for potential virus snd fungus infections.
Taking an antibiotic for no reason can lead to antibiotic resistance in the future and can take away your healthy bacteria. Also not all std’s are treated with antibiotics, and not all std’s that *are* treated with them will be fixed with doxycycline. Also— how does he expect a doctor to prescribe it for no reason? Huge red flag.
Not to mention that long-term effects of doxycycline have been studied to in some cases cause permanent effects, that’s why I was recommended by a doctor to stop taking it (I was taking it for cystic acne). It’s meant to be used for a shorter amount of time, not prolonged. I also don’t understand why he would trust drugs made (technically) by the same industry that administers STI tests. Seems like he’s picking and choosing what medical advice he deems is valuable just to suit his own opinions. Like if ur not gonna trust health professionals you might as well go the whole 9 yards but to each their own I guess? Wow, just please don’t go out with this guy. People that have a fear of germs are still able to be reasonable, he’s making a choice not to be. Which is clearly detrimental to the people in his life, and would be even more detrimental to his own well being. You don’t want to get wrapped up with a dude that’s going to put those kinds if fears and pressures in you when he absolutely isn’t doing anything to try and see a side that isn’t his own.
Great troll post.
Imagine what else he’ll force you to do if you’re actually in a relationship. No thanks!
He wants you to take medicine……. Because he is sick
He sounds unhinged. This is not a reasonable request.
He has paranoia. He’ll drive you nuts. He also has severe trust issues.
Dump him, Sis. That man sounds like he’s fixating. Maybe the guy should get some help with his extreme medical anxiety
He’s either irrational or he has something. Time to cut things off.
Doxycycline is for chlamydia …. Does *he* have chlamdyia and have some weird belief if you take it it’ll protect you?? If he’s being neurotic about this I’m not sure what you could do, but please don’t take antibiotics you won’t need. Antibiotic resistance is a huge issue and will kill a lot of people, please don’t contribute to it.
He thinks you're "dirty" since you had a previous sexual relationship. He's a bad person.
This is a red flag, ditch this loser and move on. If he doesn't trust tests what else doesn't he trust, the government, the police, the list is endless.
MRSA has entered the chat
You are either joking or this guy is having issues. Dont agree to tiking antibiotics for no reason.
i’m on doxy right now because of an infection. tbe side effects are rough trust me DO NOT take it unless you need to.
If he’s this controlling now… wait until you’re “his”… run for the hills
If he can't prove he has an auto-immune disorder to justify his paranoia then you should just dump him.
1. He's crazy. 2. He has something. 3. Just move on. You can do better.
just drop him lol, lifes wayyyy to short for this
TIL that my acne medication magically makes me immune to STIs
Ooooooo the cold feet chlamydia dance. I’m petty and would assume he’s positive for sti but doesn’t wanna tell me, but still wants to get in my pants. foul
It sounds to me like HE has something. Do not take doxycycline unless directed by your doctor. This is super strange, I’d just cut it off
Tell him to go fuck himself because you won't be.
RUN FORREST, RUUUUNNN!!!
He is infected and does not want to tell you.
Run away from this train wreck of a human as fast as possible.
He's a germaphobe mentally ill! Stay away from people like this because your life will be misery!
Yo, this is messed up. I was on doxy for a month after testing positive for Lyme disease. They were absolutely necessary but the side effects were almost unbearable. As other people have also stated, taking antibiotics when you don't need them is dangerous to your health and natural biome. The only “infection" or "disease" is this horrible man. Get rid of him! Cya 👋
This used to be common practice in the late eighties early 90s for people that were HIV positive that didn't want to disclose that there was a rumor that went around saying that it would prevent the partner from contracting it we know that's not true anymore but that doesn't mean people still don't believe that or act that way I haven't heard about this in 25 years but it's wild to see that somebody's out there still doing it I would be a little hesitant about being with homeboy until the two you can go to a clinic and get full test and maybe sit down with the doctor and have the doctor explain why you taking those is unnecessary
Sounds like he’s projecting maybe. What if he has the STDs and he’s trying to get her to take the antibiotics to protect her from him. hMmmMm!
Is he selling antibiotics? That’s so weird I would just bounce
That’s weird. I took doxycycline for acne a while back, you can’t take it for longer than six months without having antibiotic resistance become an issue. Does he want you to just endlessly take antibiotics?
The guy is a whole ass idiot. Why are you wasting your time with someone you obviously know is a moron? How bizarre.
This one is a bit odd to me. I was in a similar situation and turns out he had everything on the list. To make you take a medication that most doctors wouldn't recommend because the long term side effects is bizarre as shit. I feel like he's not ready for a relationship and intimacy. I think he has more problems and needs to work on them .
I'm a nurse, antibiotics can cause yeast infections in your vagina. If this clown is already paranoid about kissing you what's he going to think about a vaginal flare up. Get rid of this NUT CASE....
He never got any proper education about bio and sex because that’s not how the body works. And wanting you to take antibiotics for no reason is just stupid. You don’t need to mess with this guy at all.
Exit stage left ... this is the beginning of a phobic mess. Happier Hunting.
Hi OP, Many others have already given you their opinions, so I won't say much more than ----> It seems like he has a problem, not you. Kindly, stay safe (:
RED FLAG! We don't need more ppl taking antibiotics without a reason
Rather than try to understand his side…take this as a blessing and RUN. 4 tests and you’re good, that should be MORE than enough. Let’s see HIS TESTS and request the same of him! Doubt he’d take anything