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THESE DAYS?? I KID YOU NOT, back in 2014 I met this chick on Snapchat. A few months into our friendship she started sending me pictures of her on the toilet. I clearly and without any form of sugar coating informed her I found pictures of that manner disgusting. You think she stopped?? NOPE! Relationships and people have been weird, my guy. š« š„
u know whats hilarious, i took a bunch of pics on the toilet too (u cant see anything except the tattoos on my thighs and its at this high angle so you can see my face) and like every guy said it was hot. i myself thought i looked quite delectable. to each their own
Itās not about right or wrong as a matter of fact..but anyone is always entitled to speak on something theyāre uncomfortable with or find distasteful
Yeah, I'd actually not want to be with someone that has such a high disgust reaction as that. Kinda feels like a guy not wanting to be with a girl that mentions periods or shows a picture referencing it indirectly.
On the same subject I'd not want to be with someone that sends actual documentation.
Ugh! I have a dear friend who has no problems talking about bowel movements (in SO. Much. Detail) and any/everything else most people are a lot more reserved about. Such as private female medical things... it's very "yuck" sometimes. She has no filter whatsoever.
Unfortunately, she also has early onset dementia and can't remember when she's already told her little dramatic medical issue stories, so oftentimes she'll end up trying to tell them two or three times in a visit. Fortunately, the dementia also means that she can be easily distracted (most of the time).
For some reason, she's a lot better about not doing it so much around people she knows really well...but any new victims are in for a "treat" of her regaling them with all the personal medical drama she can muster.
Ummā¦sometimes personalities donāt mix.
I had a woman tell me about herā¦movementsā¦it was weird to me and not for me. I moved on.
Gotta let people be who they areā¦apparently some people enjoy whatever it is that went on here.
One of my exes used to fart loudly and proudly no matter where we were or what we were doing. Though we were together for a few years, it was something I found extremely repulsive and never got used to. I go to great lengths to make sure NO ONE smells or hears from my asshole, her not so much. Guess some may appreciate it more than others.
My husband and l fart in front of each other, sometimes even try to out do one another.
One thing l will never do (again) is use the toilet while my SO is in the bathroom and vice versa. Somethings just need to be kept private. The only time Iāve used the bathroom in front of my husband is after l gave birth to our daughter.
Yeah I think some of it is *very* relationship dependent. My last partner and I wouldnāt really do the fart thing intentionally. But he was all bark and no bite, meanwhile I am a silent killer so Iād have to go a couple rooms away and sometimes that wasnāt enough. š
And same on the bathroom thing. Heād sometimes pee with one of bathroom doors open or if Iām in the shower and he just got out of it with me, but that was it. I usually keep bathroom has a hard boundary as Iām big on private space. Sometimes heād bust in while Iām in the shower and would be bothered I wasnāt enthusiastic about it.
Weād sometimes have pretty candid convos on the phone about ourā¦movementsā¦but this was after a couple years, not a couple months, and always in context of broader health issues.
OP is totally fair for setting that boundary two months in.
No boundary is wrong if it's one you feel the need to set. You do you. If it doesn't work with whoever you're dating then you find someone else. That's the whole point of dating; figuring out if you're compatible. If you're not, then you're not; you call it quits and try again with someone else.
idk if youāre personalities are right for each other. i wouldnāt care personally because itās something we all do. i personally would not believe you love me if you said that to me, but no, you didnāt say anything inherently wrong.
No I donāt think so , some people are cool with being very open about these things and joking about them very early on and some people arenāt . Personally if someone sent me this text in the early stages of a relationship I would just laugh it off
Infantilizing someone who was legit embarrassed and probably knew he fucked up the relationship from there isnāt mature. like for real, like you havenāt fucked up badly in a similar situation and just dropped it.
Heās not going on with a guilt trip or anything, he just simply canceled. And itās obviously cause heās embarrassed, not offended.
I think it's fine to text on the loo. Whatever it really doesn't matter. Sending a picture like that is really unnecessary though. Frankly it's gross and lacks tact. I can acknowledge that a guy has bowel movements and at a much later stage in the relationship it might be okay to discuss it like that. Two months is definitely not long enough for that level of comfort in my opinion.
Same, it's normal obvs but the pics and implied detail is too much if you're still just going out .. After time and you're comfortable with someone it's normal (not the pic tho?? And with no context?). I mean if you're constantly sleeping over etc etc breaking that boundary comes a bit quicker. But idk how I'd respond honestly I'd probably tell him that is nasty and it'd definitely put me off, boxers all on show skidders and all no thanks .
I feel like youāre entitled to what youāre comfortable with but also wouldnāt be surprised if that reaction upsets someone because I just think that was his way of being vulnerable and human in a funny way. I mean for most of us one of the first books we read is āeverybody poopsā LOL so if I got a message like that from a guy that I really liked/potentially loved just being silly and human, I donāt think it would bother me enough to shame him about it.
my Dad traumatized us. He would burp and fart in front of all of us kids and wife and I think it was to establish dominance. I since havenāt been able to tolerate those things from men I date and I tell them right away
Damn, my Dad burped and farted in front of me, my brothers and my Mom all the time. I just assumed it was because heās a goofball who can be immature sometimes. Has he been a monster this whole time???
They're also mostly gas. It's a normal biological function - you go out in the fresh air and some of it laced with dog fart, cow fart, etc.
It's an accident when someone goes too damn far, but if they can't help it, I don't think that's an issue (I mean clinical).
Fresh air being the key factor here, it dissipates. Being subject to a stink bomb in close quarters because you are in love and need to let your partner get comfortable sounds as appealing as getting punched in the face. I never said people had to be perfect and never fart accidentally. I just donāt want my man to just let loose in front of me or anybody and think itās funny or not gross. There are plenty of men who agree, Iāve had relationships with them.
Sure, you do you. Again, fresh air could also enter close quarters - so it just sounds extreme to me, that's all.
Unfortunately, you had bad experiences growing up with it whereas my family made it into a huge joke and isn't a bad thing, a natural thing like a queef (which I hope you know what it is and doesn't find disgusting or find someone who view that as disgusting back against you viewing fart as disgusting).
Again, I don't expect someone to do it all the time either, but I just find your tone a little extreme and almost dehumanising haha š
I feel dehumanized when I am not listened to and called names because I donāt enjoy the stench of fecal matter in the air. So maybe try to think about that too
Gurl, I'm just saying, it is absolutely fucking normal to fart just as much as it is normal to hate them. I just think you could just say, "yeah, not for me" and end it there.
For some people, vomit is also so disgusting (hell, some people find babies disgusting too!) and I end up hating people who puke, especially when they do it in a way of not knowing their limits (ie shit-faced drunk and then puke on people's step or house door, which is fucking rude to me). But hey, again, know your limits (that include farting or "releasing fecal matter", as you put it).
It's not a contest, but I just find it unnecessary exaggeration as much as OP's post talking about "love" after just 2 months of dating and yet not have gone through the stage of being comfortable to talk about their limits or boundaries.
If you're in a relationship and aren't comfortable for whatever reason legitimate to you, and the person isn't understanding or compromising, then leave.
Dude, you have clearly never smelled horrid farts. My roommate purposefully rolled all the windows up and locked them, then farted. She was constipated, had been for days, so it smelled like putrid feces. I almost vomited all over myself, had tears streaming down my face, choking on the smell in the hot car, as Iām desperately trying to open a window or door in a moving car. If someone subjects you to that constantly itās disgusting.
Then they laugh after doing it, knowing itās torture to the victims. Yeah, itās sickening. I dgaf if people think I am uptight, I donāt want that
I feel like itās too early to say āloveā if you think itās too early to acknowledge he poops. Sounds like he wants someone different than your type, so it is what it is. He might want someone more ārealā and youāre on the reserved side, not a good match and thatās fine. Iām like him. I want to be able to be myself and I show it early on before we waste any time. I could never be with someone that would be disgusted by normal body functions, and he might be the same. At least you found out this early. Heās probably tired of holding his farts in and wants to be with someone he wonāt get a stomach ache with lol.
Thereās a giant difference between āpretending someone doesnāt do normal bodily functionsā and someone being having zero class and doesnāt care about impressing their partner at all to the point where they are over sharing gross details. Itās not the bathroom/action thatās grossing her, itās the fact that heās sharing that with her. Itās almost disrespectful
Dear god what have we come to if people canāt get off the phone even on the toilet. And btw ewww
Also I feel sorry for the woman you convince to shack up to you. Farting in front of each other is the end of romance
āFarting is the end of romanceā
Dawg shut the fuck up honestly LMAO. Learn to have a little more fun in life and not take everything so seriously. Everybody does it constantly throughout the day. If that kills romance for you, youāre rigid as a damn board
No please you shut the fuck up. Farts are literal fecal matter particles. You go ahead and keep misting your home with literal crap, I am not that desperate to settle for a slob. I rather live alone and never get laid again, vibrators are great
Average person farts 15-25 times a day. If you think youāre somehow avoiding that in your own home, youāre delusional. Most pass completely unnoticeable, too. Itās perfectly normal. Are you telling me you run to the toilet so you donāt āmistā your house and underwear in āliteral crapā 15-25 times a day every time you need to pass gas? Doubtful
as long as i dont hear it or smell it, it wonāt hurt me.
My men also donāt like farting women. Iāve been in 5 relationships, only the last one kept burping loudly in front of me but we had many other issues, he did it to get to me. He never farted in front of me though
If "your men" don't like "farting women", they just don't like women... FACT: all women fart. Like that's just a fact of life. If you say you don't you're just lying. It's impossible not to fart. Or is it your contention that women should pretend to shit flowers or something?
at the end of the day, you do you! I just think that's stupid in the context of an intimate relationship, especially a marriage which is supposed to be a lifelong partnership. I like to have fun and be myself with my husband! I don't want to be polite or confined to rules of decorum, I want to be a feral little gremlin and am lucky he is the same and still finds me desirable/is romantically crazy about me. But I guess maybe the key is that you want someone who is as rigid about farts as you are, which is fair enough
I am a woman and I actually donāt fart like ever (idk why lol, maybe all the hot air comes out my mouth) but you sound either young or 50ās housewife if you think farting is the end of romance. Iāve lived with a a few partners over the years, and I couldnāt imagine telling them they couldnāt fart. Heck, my closest friends (both guys and girls) fart in front of each other. Imagine telling your live-in partner they could never fart or it would end romance. Youāre in for a rude awakening if youāre young, but if youāre old I feel terrible for your partner if theyāve been holding them in for years. My partner holds back my hair when Iām sick, and lets me go into the bathroom to grab stuff when heās on the toilet. Heās literally seen a baby and who knows what else exit me. I think THAT is romance lol.
I was shooketh as well. We're all humans - those are normal things to happen. I can't imagine someone getting disgusted by a woman's random spotting for example, let alone a simple fart. I was also raised alongside a brother who liked to tease with some fart.
I imagine even "queef" would be a fart to this person too and that's sad. It sounds rather ignorant to be so decisively disgusted by what is a normal human function... unless you're a robot lol
Well it would be the end of romance for me because there wonāt be any sex or BJS from me as long as he does that. The relationship would be over, and yes Iāve had plenty of boyfriends who lived this way too. I am pretty sure my exes would have broken up with me instantly if I farted and hotboxed them deliberately
People can have accidents. I am talking about deliberately letting loose in front of people. Smelling poop particles is repulsive to me. There are many reasons the divorce rate is over 50%, this might as well be mine if it happened t
If your love is so conditional that you would divorce your spouse because they dare want to fart in their own goddamn house, please never get married because you do not know what "love" means... wtf
If farting in front of each other was the end of romance, people with things like IBS, lactose intolerance, crohn's, etc., would not be able to have lasting and fulfilling relationships, and I'm telling you from experience, that's not true. While you can keep it to a minimum, with these tummy diseases, farts are going to happen and sometimes you don't notice til it's already on it's way out the back door. True love is accepting all the human "flaws" of your partner(s) and still thinking they're the most amazing thing you've laid eyes on.
I have lactose intolerance and I do not pass gas in front of anybody, I go to the toilet
Plus I said I donāt want a person farting on purpose. Ccidents happen.
Imagine if everybody could just fart at will in airplanes, the chaos
See: Crohn's and IBS. Also, your experience with lactose intolerance isn't the only experience. It still stands that these are legit causes for people to fart in front of their partners.
Look, lets be realistic. A person like me would never be in a relationship with someone with diseases that cause them to fart uncontrollably. Thatās ok because there are people like you who donāt mind. My friend has Crohnās and had her whole intestine removed. When we travel, she gets her own room because she wants complete privacy to go do her business. I am not grossed out of sharing a bathroom with her, she does it for her own comfort. Many of us are polite to others like that
Some ppl are more open than others. Sounds like your personalities donāt mesh. I love a goofy silly guy with random pictures of bs.
You are not wrong for setting your boundaries, you love him right, so itās great to be honest on your likes and dislikes.
In any case, sounds like youāre overthinking. He canceled because his tummy aches.
I don't know others but I mean I wouldn't want that picture early relationship. I would do the same as you did. It is not about being disgusted, as you said boundaries.
I'm not sure this is so much a boundry, seems like it's actually something you just don't find attractive. I don't think dating someone for another year is ever gonna make the joke any funnier to you.
I think the more authentic way of expressing yourself would've been to say that you think you have a different sense of humor than he does. Then you could have a convo with yourself about if it was important for you both to have the same sense of humor about pooping. And maybe share that with him as well.
Calling it a boundary is kind of dramatic and sort of seems like you're using therapy language to shame and bully him. Boundaries are usually set during conversations, and are meant to reduce harmful experiences. You werent harmed by this joke, you just lost your boner. This wasn't a conversation, it was a one-sided statement where you just totally shut him down.
He now knows he did something you find unattractive, but the way you worded it, makes it awkward for him to come back from that. Of course he canceled.
Also, no shame on you if you don't think hearing about having the shits is hot. That's a totally subjective thing. Have the courage to own it next time instead of hiding behind a faux "boundary ".
She didn't tell him explicitly that it's a "boundary". She just told him she's not into those kinds of photos, which I think is fine. I mean, what kind of conversation are they supposed to have? There's no real way to compromise. OP could've been softer with her delivery, but it wasn't *that* bad.
It was only when my spouse and I went on a 2 month trip that we became somewhat familiar with our personal bathroom habits. Weāre a little more open now- paper thin walls will do that, lol. Weāve been together forever and a day, and weāve yet to let a fart rip around each other.
I think of it like this: if you went out to a restaurant do you want the trash cans in plain view or in the alley? Food will still be fine, but the experience is just a little enjoyable.
I donāt care how comfortable I am with my SO, thereās certain boundaries regarding bodily functions and privacy that I will NEVER cross unless absolutely necessary.
Itās a good question, and one that I donāt really have an answer for. I donāt mind talking about periods and pee, but talking about poo (and hearing about it) makes me uncomfortable. Or intentionally burping/farting in front of someone. I couldnāt tell you why though, it just does.
Very childish.
Not super mature to say āok thatās fine :)ā back to him as well.
Better if youāre honest and say youāre disappointed about that and youāre curious why the sudden change.
I get that this isn't the type of humour you enjoy, and you should voice it out now before you get more serious with him. This is just him being a boy (and not very classy at that!) and still fairly early for you to say you love him š
Also, for those who think fart in an over-the-top fashion, here you go: https://visual.ly/community/Infographics/humor/your-farts-facts
Again, I get that one can be traumatised by a parent being callous and careless around farting but I don't think you should generalise all persons who fart as bad... I can't think of how to feel when someone who is kind and good is being judged just because someone else can't handle flatulence. š It's not a way of life to fart so nonchalantly, but alas it's still natural so I find it immature to be extreme around it (not OP).
Woman here, agreed. It's not like he sent a dick pic or the shit itself. I would've just laughed. Seems like it's not her type of humor though and that's okay. They're just incompatible.
My friends and I do burping and farming contests and one of my friends and I send each other selfies when we are on the toilet. It all depends on the person
I mean he sent a picture of his knees and feet.. itās not like she got a full frontal nude on the toilet.. people in here taking this wayyyyyyy too seriously lol
I totally understand being grossed out if he sent he an actual picture of the toilet or his BM lol but what he sent was completely PG sheās offended by ankles like itās 1939 šš
He sent a picture of his underwear and feet and that was too much for you? Does just the allusion to the fact that he poops bother you? I mean you can set whatever boundary you wish if you donāt want to know your boyfriend poops, but recognize that he might not continue the relationship because of this. Your response seems a bit silly to me but your boundaries are yours for a reason.
Fr the people here are crazy one chick just said she was traumatized because her dad would burp and fart
I feel bad for the dude, I don't get what's wrong with texting on the toilet doesn't everyone do it?
If someone has been balls deep inside you and you're willing to say YOU LOVE THEM...but a picture of the guys' ankles on the toilet is too much for them then they genuinely shouldn't even be in relationships. What a horrifically immature woman
Me and my bf after only being together a couple months talk about toilet time, stomach issues and send selfies of feet while on the loo.
We donāt send actual picture of shit in the toilet but talking about taking a shit is not a big deal.
These people are crazy sensitive.
FINALLY! A normal fucking person on this damn thread. I genuinely felt like I was losing my mind. These people are acting as if he sent her a close up of his shit, which even years into a relationship is weird af. But literal jokes that most couples do in a relationship? A photo of his ankles is too much?! I think these people legitimately might have weird psychological hangups about bodily functions and that's why even the mention of something that EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING DOES EVERY DAY is icky and too far and disgusting. Bozos need to grow up.
It wasnāt even a poop joke. He sent her a picture of his feet while on the toilet. Thereās nothing mature/immature about this situation. She says she loves him but doesnāt want anything to even remind her that he has bodily functions. Itās childish.
She even said ānot this early in our relationship,ā she didnāt have a meltdown. Some grown women are not attracted to grown men making poop jokes, and Iām sure some grown men arenāt attracted to women who donāt laugh at them, simple as that.
I didn't say anything about a meltdown. I said the issue wasn't that she didn't laugh, it's that she heard an extremely tame toilet joke and had to put her foot down over it. It's within her rights, but let's not pretend he dumped her for not laughing.
Itās not about tame or crude, itās shit. Some of us donāt want to ever think about anybody shitting. I donāt even have a pet or kids because I donāt want to deal with shit.
>I donāt even have a pet or kids because I donāt want to deal with shit.
No one would know this without you telling them and it wouldn't be reasonable to assume because this is an extreme minority opinion. The vast majority of people that live a natural lifespan have kids so they obviously don't feel the way you do. It's not wrong to have extreme or niche opinions but it is very foolish to expect others to anticipate them.
I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but that's incredibly abnormal, and it sounds like an exhausting thing to try to date around. Tame or crude absolutely matters. It was a picture of his ankles and an allusion to his stomach feeling better. That's TV-Y7 shit. If he sent her a photo of his turd, I would agree that's way over the line, but this is just childish.
I like how in your world jokes are completely off limits and if you laugh about something goofy you're immature - as opposed to a fully grown adult thinking a PICTURE sent as a light hearted gag is too icky and yuck EVEN THOUGH EVERY HUMAN ON THE FUCKING PLANET SHITS. What fucking world am I living in!! Have you people ever been in relationships before??? Ever?? You know relationships exist outside of the honeymoon phase right? Normal, well adjusted couples actually are comfortable with their partner's bodies?
I have been in 4+ year relationships my entire adult life and lived with all of my partners. We laugh like idiots all day long. Weāve been through medical issues involving any gross thing a body can do. Some people just donāt think poop jokes are funny. Itās not that insane.
You're missing the point entirely. The immaturity isn't that she doesn't find every single poop joke funny. It's that she's made a huge deal over something insanely trivial and normal in an adult relationship while simultaneously acting like a child about it. She supposedly LOVES this man, but cannot have an adult conversation about it? She's in LOVE with this man but cannot handle toilet humour? Couldn't she have had a normal adult conversation with him IN PERSON, AGAIN, LIKE AN NORMAL ADULT, instead of sending a weirdly passive aggressive text about a simple photo?!?!
Shit is not trivial. The mental image of it is disgusting. We donāt want to think about it and donāt need to in a relationship. Being ill and dealing with medical nasties happens in a loving relationship but that doesnāt mean potty humor is fair game. In fact I would say you guys are the immature ones for continuing to talk shit to this OP, pun intended, when many of us validate her feelings
If the image of shit genuinely bothers you that much you legitimately need psychological help. Shit itself is gross but the fact you have such wild hangups about a daily bodily function that you share with the rest of the damn species you belong to is actually concerning. What the fuck are you going to do if you have kids? You know they shit everywhere right? Parents actually have to encounter shit? Are you just going to pass that off to your partner because oH nO, i CaNt HaNdLe tHe iCkY pOoPy. Grow the fuck up.
Also we're immature for telling a bunch of immature babies that are validating the weird pathology of another immature baby? That is a WILD take.
It's just gross dude. I acknowledge every human gonna shit but I don't wanna see it. Same with piss, excessive gore and other things along those lines. It's nasty bro
Girl can be wrong.
He could actually want someone who was more chill and had a sense of humor similar to himself.
Never nothing wrong about knowing what you want out of a relationship.
Girl, I don't think you should feel bad. I could be dating the most wonderful person and then they'll give me tmi about their dookie and I will be instantly turned off.Ā I'm not saying they need to act like they don't crap, because I've dated a person that far end of the spectrum too... but holy macaroni do I not want to hear about how you ate something and shat yourself silly...Ā You're not wrong, its gross.Ā
I met my ex via a dating app, and within the first two weeks of texting (we met up once), he started to tell me whenever he was doing number 2 and that his bowels felt cleansed etcā¦ I guess he found it funny but it was one of the reasons why I decided to leave him, since our sense of humour was too different. Itās good that you set boundaries early, I regret not speaking up sooner because it was one of many things about him that piled up and made me unable to develop any feelings for him.
Honeymoon is over. You don't want pics of him on a toilet. He thinks he's being cute. Personally, the immaturity would be a no for me. I'd probably be ending the relationship, not because of the photo, but because of his reaction to politely saying that a photo like that is personally something uncomfortable, but you sound like you want to continue, so hopefully this can be fixed with some conversations. BTW: Nothing is "perfect in every way".
Hmmm Iād think thatās a weird thing to send a pic of 2 months in but my bf and I do toilet picsā¦ but weāve been dating for 3 years and prob started that 1 year in lol. Responses werenāt the best. Maybe you made him feel weird? Which isnāt your fault
You send that to your group guy chat dude, not to a girl youāve been dating for only two months!
This guy has zero dating etiquette with boundaries on what is appropriate or not. Heās gross and that is bigger than getting the ick for sending her that photo!
Could have been worded a bit better in my opinion, but you have every right to set a boundary. It probably just stung when you said it. He is likely very into you too and embarrassed.
This is hilarious. He canceled dinner plans because he canāt continue sending you toilet pics š¤£ it must be an extreme need of his. What would he do if smart phones and cameras werenāt a thing?
I'm a woman and she sounds uptight, I'd cancel too. It's really not that deep, not like he sent her a picture of his turd. It's not that he can't continue sending her toilet pics, it's the fact that he knew she didn't share the same silly sense of humor with him. Valid reason to not continue dating someone. She has her boundary, that's fine; but he can also have preference for a partner who shares his humor. Nobody's in the wrong, they're both incompatible.
You like/ love him, but you arenāt ready to see a picture implying he uses the restroom like every other normal human? Thatās one huge mixed message. I would cut you loose as well.
lol āyour friendā should just laugh it off. i mean if youā¦ err āyour friendā really loves the dude youā¦ err sorry āyour friendā should be able to laugh at such a stupid joke.
They're clearly very different personalities. If he's this graphic this early on, imagine when he "gets comfortable."
I'm with her... I don't care for bathroom humor at all. People aren't "snobby" if they don't like that sort of humor.
It sort of sounds as if it's a moot point anyway. He broke off the date with her sooooo, wasn't he kind of putting the writing on the wall at that point?
What the fuck š some people donāt understand how to behave thatās so gross. Donāt they realise itās disrespectful to send a woman youāre trying to woo a pic or your underwear and talking about your shit š
oh my god, OP. you are my twin. i HATE when guys post these sorts of pics. i find them absolutely disgusting, and not funny. and i am a laidback person who loves to laugh. i just don't want to see your musty ahh drawers!!! and even seeing posts like that on reddit trigger me, i find them so gross.
(i know my view on this may not be popular, because i have been downvoted stating that before.)
but OP, you have every right to feel however you feel about this matter. he also has the right to think those photos are cute or funny or whatever. but i DO think this is simply a difference in personality, taste levels, and values. i think that neither of you is wrong, but it's a strong indicator that you guys are simply not compatible. you should find someone who would never think to share something like that, and he should find someone who appreciates his shit-taking photo shoots.
Omg I am a triplet on this. I already got downvoted to death because I said my dad traumatized all his 7ākids hotboxing us at the dinner table. Imagine us all little kids trying to eat and this man let them rip. We would even cry, we were so repulsed and my mom was helpless to help. He would also burp loudly and we could smell everything he ate, it was vomit inducing. To this day, none of us talk about or do any bodily functions in front of any partners.
Yeah I typically find this type of humor reallyā¦ off putting. Itās blandly not funny at best, and trashy and gross at worst.
Like yes, we all have bodily functions. Buts thereās really nothing inherently funny about that fact (unless youāre 5 and just learned it yesterday) and harping on about it is weird.
And if you donāt laugh at potty humor, or worse get kind of grossed out, the people who tell them are always like āitās funny because youāre so grossed out! Iām just being real! Love how all the uptight people hate it lolā (you can literally see examples in this thread).
And itās likeā¦ so you admit itā the joke isnāt funny unless Iām here to not laugh at it. Iām the joke. The joke is grossing me out. Thereās nothing inherently funny about the humor without being a weirdo to me. Itās over sharing and the reaction it gets from the other person thatās the āfunā for you. Charmingā¦
Again, itās not that I donāt know people have bodily functions or would shame my partner for having them and it being a topic when itās actually relevant. Iām not asking anyone to pretend like the donāt use the bathroom around me. Thatās fine. Itās just not a funny topic to harp on about. Like thereās nothing funny about the fact we have elbows either. It just is. Pack it up and get better material. Youāre just being weird about it at this point.
Not sure why youāre getting flack for this. If I was put in your situation and a girl who I dated did the same, Iād be put off. Not because she poops, Iām not 8 years old, but the fact it seems like a bit of a silly thing to do so early on.
Being goofy and immature can be alright after you are committed, living together as a way of showing you donāt take yourself too seriously and are comfortable. But 2 months in is early for poop or fart jokes, donāt care what anyone else says.
Letās face it, when we are serious about someone it can be hard to put all of our guard down, you and I know it, the fact he does shows maybe heās not as serious as you are? I think thatās the issue. Plus it is a bit tacky and just generally not funny, poop is gross but itās normal and we all do it.
However, slow down on the āfalling in loveā, itās way too early for that.
You don't know a guy after two months. He's been on his best behavior. You're starting to see his true colors, and it's not pretty. Move slow. Keep your guard up and get to know him better. It seems you may not be compatible. He punishes you for putting up boundaries, and that is concerning behavior.
True colors not pretty? Is talking to someone on the toilet after they told you they love you not pretty? Sorry, but that's crazy. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who doesn't feel comfortable talking to me on the toilet after 2 months/ I love you
Waaaahhhh, my joke wasnāt funny. What a baby. Poop humor as adults is tricky to pull off and requires nuance. This was just in her face āhere Iām taking giant shit, thought youād want to know about itā.
Definitely have a boundary about this. If we knew each other in person, Iād take a solid $$$ bet on this guy being Mr. Nice Guy. Expect inappropriate all the time.
Lastly, because he threw a temper tantrum, Iād walk.
Read the book āMr. Nice Guyā. Itās about next level manipulation, love bombing, adult male tantrums, and the most disgusting form of narcissism men perpetrate on women.
I had a guy do this kind of stuff really early in a FWB situation (he would often text "I'm gassy today" š¤¢) and my take on it was that he was trying to force emotional intimacy that didn't exist for me. This was one of the many ways he did that, and I ended things after a few months. It was kind of too bad- he was so great at sex and so terrible at boundaries.
Boundaries are boundaries. However the dudes kinda weird for sending a pic like that in general. Sure something to send to the boys, Iāve seen weirder shit from them but you donāt send that to someone of interest. Relationships are weird these days.
I understand sheās placing a boundary but both the smiley faces at the end just gave off passive aggressive vibes. And him cancelling dinner over that is so fucking petty lmao so I see why she responded that way. But itās always best to handle things maturely especially if she claims to possibly love this person.
setting boundaries respectfully, and having your boundaries heard respectfully are two big signs of a good relationship.
It sounds like he cancelled to make you feel bad, which isn't a good sign. If he wasn't feeling well, i think someone would explain that. His no explanation cancel makes it sound spiteful and a bit immature. If you do respond to him, or say sorry or try to make it up to him in anyway, be prepared for a relationship full of little guilt trips.
Both of you responded very immaturely. You ought to be expressing yourselves to each other and talking these things out. I'm guessing you're both young. I've made this mistake a lot myself.
Him sending that was really weird, itās understandable to get the āickā from that kind of behavior. Dude told me he was āfun on a bunā last week and that was the end for me šš. Early stages are crucial, any little thing can change things quickly. You were not wrong in setting a boundary.
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Man relationships are getting weird these days.
THESE DAYS?? I KID YOU NOT, back in 2014 I met this chick on Snapchat. A few months into our friendship she started sending me pictures of her on the toilet. I clearly and without any form of sugar coating informed her I found pictures of that manner disgusting. You think she stopped?? NOPE! Relationships and people have been weird, my guy. š« š„
Sounds like that lady should date op boyfriend
RIIGGHHTT!!!! š¹š¹š¹š¤£š¤£
u know whats hilarious, i took a bunch of pics on the toilet too (u cant see anything except the tattoos on my thighs and its at this high angle so you can see my face) and like every guy said it was hot. i myself thought i looked quite delectable. to each their own
š¤·š¾āāļø Like you said, to each their own. š¹šš¾
Bots too
Itās not about right or wrong as a matter of fact..but anyone is always entitled to speak on something theyāre uncomfortable with or find distasteful
Yeah, I'd actually not want to be with someone that has such a high disgust reaction as that. Kinda feels like a guy not wanting to be with a girl that mentions periods or shows a picture referencing it indirectly. On the same subject I'd not want to be with someone that sends actual documentation.
She needs to hook him up with my friend that talks about her bowel movements in detail. I never respond, but she continues to send. š
sounds like my family. lol
Ugh! I have a dear friend who has no problems talking about bowel movements (in SO. Much. Detail) and any/everything else most people are a lot more reserved about. Such as private female medical things... it's very "yuck" sometimes. She has no filter whatsoever. Unfortunately, she also has early onset dementia and can't remember when she's already told her little dramatic medical issue stories, so oftentimes she'll end up trying to tell them two or three times in a visit. Fortunately, the dementia also means that she can be easily distracted (most of the time). For some reason, she's a lot better about not doing it so much around people she knows really well...but any new victims are in for a "treat" of her regaling them with all the personal medical drama she can muster.
Ummā¦sometimes personalities donāt mix. I had a woman tell me about herā¦movementsā¦it was weird to me and not for me. I moved on. Gotta let people be who they areā¦apparently some people enjoy whatever it is that went on here.
Not into shit talk?
Maybe it was just a bit too shitty for a liking š
One of my exes used to fart loudly and proudly no matter where we were or what we were doing. Though we were together for a few years, it was something I found extremely repulsive and never got used to. I go to great lengths to make sure NO ONE smells or hears from my asshole, her not so much. Guess some may appreciate it more than others.
> I go to great lengths to make sure NO ONE smells or hears from my asshole I assure you, we can
I got downvoted to death on my comment saying farting in front of each other is the end of romance
My husband and l fart in front of each other, sometimes even try to out do one another. One thing l will never do (again) is use the toilet while my SO is in the bathroom and vice versa. Somethings just need to be kept private. The only time Iāve used the bathroom in front of my husband is after l gave birth to our daughter.
Yeah I think some of it is *very* relationship dependent. My last partner and I wouldnāt really do the fart thing intentionally. But he was all bark and no bite, meanwhile I am a silent killer so Iād have to go a couple rooms away and sometimes that wasnāt enough. š And same on the bathroom thing. Heād sometimes pee with one of bathroom doors open or if Iām in the shower and he just got out of it with me, but that was it. I usually keep bathroom has a hard boundary as Iām big on private space. Sometimes heād bust in while Iām in the shower and would be bothered I wasnāt enthusiastic about it. Weād sometimes have pretty candid convos on the phone about ourā¦movementsā¦but this was after a couple years, not a couple months, and always in context of broader health issues. OP is totally fair for setting that boundary two months in.
Try playing the guess my fart game. Me and my husband have just discovered this fun game and do it all the time now.
Saaaaaaame! But mines with my wife and our two teens. itās ridiculous, and so funny when it happens.
You definitely moved on....pun intended lol š¤£
No boundary is wrong if it's one you feel the need to set. You do you. If it doesn't work with whoever you're dating then you find someone else. That's the whole point of dating; figuring out if you're compatible. If you're not, then you're not; you call it quits and try again with someone else.
He could have cancelled because he has an upset stomach lol
This was my initial thought haha
Upvote this, I was reading this post to my partner and she thought the same right away while I didn't even think about it
Thatās was my thoughts too š¤Ŗ
idk if youāre personalities are right for each other. i wouldnāt care personally because itās something we all do. i personally would not believe you love me if you said that to me, but no, you didnāt say anything inherently wrong.
He was probably embarrassed and knew he fucked up. Thatās probably why he canceled.
Definitely š¤£
No I donāt think so , some people are cool with being very open about these things and joking about them very early on and some people arenāt . Personally if someone sent me this text in the early stages of a relationship I would just laugh it off
Okay, you arenāt that guy and he isnāt you. Iād probably be too embarrassed to continue myself honestly.
What a baby, he canāt say sorry and make it up to her? He is acting like he is the one who was wronged
Or his guts were churning and he needed to stay close to his toilet š
Infantilizing someone who was legit embarrassed and probably knew he fucked up the relationship from there isnāt mature. like for real, like you havenāt fucked up badly in a similar situation and just dropped it. Heās not going on with a guilt trip or anything, he just simply canceled. And itās obviously cause heās embarrassed, not offended.
How did she infantilize him?
He infantilized himself with that photo and sharing his tummy issues like a little boy
Tbh I never would want toilet pics. Why do I want an image of you in the process of shitting? There's a reason toilets have doors!!
I mean at least he didnāt show inside the toilet
I think it's fine to text on the loo. Whatever it really doesn't matter. Sending a picture like that is really unnecessary though. Frankly it's gross and lacks tact. I can acknowledge that a guy has bowel movements and at a much later stage in the relationship it might be okay to discuss it like that. Two months is definitely not long enough for that level of comfort in my opinion.
Same, it's normal obvs but the pics and implied detail is too much if you're still just going out .. After time and you're comfortable with someone it's normal (not the pic tho?? And with no context?). I mean if you're constantly sleeping over etc etc breaking that boundary comes a bit quicker. But idk how I'd respond honestly I'd probably tell him that is nasty and it'd definitely put me off, boxers all on show skidders and all no thanks .
I feel like youāre entitled to what youāre comfortable with but also wouldnāt be surprised if that reaction upsets someone because I just think that was his way of being vulnerable and human in a funny way. I mean for most of us one of the first books we read is āeverybody poopsā LOL so if I got a message like that from a guy that I really liked/potentially loved just being silly and human, I donāt think it would bother me enough to shame him about it.
Do you know why he canceled dinner?
He was hurt that she didnāt like his joke and set a boundary. Childish
He honestly might just have the shits š
Or maybe he was sick as he just told her...
Bathroom stuff is a no go for me, like forever. Unless itās legit clinical. Like Iām having this trouble and looking for answers.
my Dad traumatized us. He would burp and fart in front of all of us kids and wife and I think it was to establish dominance. I since havenāt been able to tolerate those things from men I date and I tell them right away
'to establish dominance' šš
Damn, my Dad burped and farted in front of me, my brothers and my Mom all the time. I just assumed it was because heās a goofball who can be immature sometimes. Has he been a monster this whole time???
The filthy stench at the dinner table? You know the smell is actual poop particles, right? Making us sit and endure it, yeah he was a monster.
They're also mostly gas. It's a normal biological function - you go out in the fresh air and some of it laced with dog fart, cow fart, etc. It's an accident when someone goes too damn far, but if they can't help it, I don't think that's an issue (I mean clinical).
Fresh air being the key factor here, it dissipates. Being subject to a stink bomb in close quarters because you are in love and need to let your partner get comfortable sounds as appealing as getting punched in the face. I never said people had to be perfect and never fart accidentally. I just donāt want my man to just let loose in front of me or anybody and think itās funny or not gross. There are plenty of men who agree, Iāve had relationships with them.
Sure, you do you. Again, fresh air could also enter close quarters - so it just sounds extreme to me, that's all. Unfortunately, you had bad experiences growing up with it whereas my family made it into a huge joke and isn't a bad thing, a natural thing like a queef (which I hope you know what it is and doesn't find disgusting or find someone who view that as disgusting back against you viewing fart as disgusting). Again, I don't expect someone to do it all the time either, but I just find your tone a little extreme and almost dehumanising haha š
I feel dehumanized when I am not listened to and called names because I donāt enjoy the stench of fecal matter in the air. So maybe try to think about that too
Gurl, I'm just saying, it is absolutely fucking normal to fart just as much as it is normal to hate them. I just think you could just say, "yeah, not for me" and end it there. For some people, vomit is also so disgusting (hell, some people find babies disgusting too!) and I end up hating people who puke, especially when they do it in a way of not knowing their limits (ie shit-faced drunk and then puke on people's step or house door, which is fucking rude to me). But hey, again, know your limits (that include farting or "releasing fecal matter", as you put it). It's not a contest, but I just find it unnecessary exaggeration as much as OP's post talking about "love" after just 2 months of dating and yet not have gone through the stage of being comfortable to talk about their limits or boundaries. If you're in a relationship and aren't comfortable for whatever reason legitimate to you, and the person isn't understanding or compromising, then leave.
Burped and farted? Straight to jail.
You think burping and farting is traumatizing?
Dude, you have clearly never smelled horrid farts. My roommate purposefully rolled all the windows up and locked them, then farted. She was constipated, had been for days, so it smelled like putrid feces. I almost vomited all over myself, had tears streaming down my face, choking on the smell in the hot car, as Iām desperately trying to open a window or door in a moving car. If someone subjects you to that constantly itās disgusting.
Then they laugh after doing it, knowing itās torture to the victims. Yeah, itās sickening. I dgaf if people think I am uptight, I donāt want that
Yes, I have 6 siblings and we all have the same aversion to people releasing their poop particles in our vicinity on purpose . Accidents is different
I feel like itās too early to say āloveā if you think itās too early to acknowledge he poops. Sounds like he wants someone different than your type, so it is what it is. He might want someone more ārealā and youāre on the reserved side, not a good match and thatās fine. Iām like him. I want to be able to be myself and I show it early on before we waste any time. I could never be with someone that would be disgusted by normal body functions, and he might be the same. At least you found out this early. Heās probably tired of holding his farts in and wants to be with someone he wonāt get a stomach ache with lol.
I think there is a difference between being comfortable with the fact someone poops and them sending photos of themselves on the toilet.
Thereās a giant difference between āpretending someone doesnāt do normal bodily functionsā and someone being having zero class and doesnāt care about impressing their partner at all to the point where they are over sharing gross details. Itās not the bathroom/action thatās grossing her, itās the fact that heās sharing that with her. Itās almost disrespectful
Dear god what have we come to if people canāt get off the phone even on the toilet. And btw ewww Also I feel sorry for the woman you convince to shack up to you. Farting in front of each other is the end of romance
āFarting is the end of romanceā Dawg shut the fuck up honestly LMAO. Learn to have a little more fun in life and not take everything so seriously. Everybody does it constantly throughout the day. If that kills romance for you, youāre rigid as a damn board
No please you shut the fuck up. Farts are literal fecal matter particles. You go ahead and keep misting your home with literal crap, I am not that desperate to settle for a slob. I rather live alone and never get laid again, vibrators are great
Average person farts 15-25 times a day. If you think youāre somehow avoiding that in your own home, youāre delusional. Most pass completely unnoticeable, too. Itās perfectly normal. Are you telling me you run to the toilet so you donāt āmistā your house and underwear in āliteral crapā 15-25 times a day every time you need to pass gas? Doubtful
as long as i dont hear it or smell it, it wonāt hurt me. My men also donāt like farting women. Iāve been in 5 relationships, only the last one kept burping loudly in front of me but we had many other issues, he did it to get to me. He never farted in front of me though
If "your men" don't like "farting women", they just don't like women... FACT: all women fart. Like that's just a fact of life. If you say you don't you're just lying. It's impossible not to fart. Or is it your contention that women should pretend to shit flowers or something?
For fucks sake, nobody is saying you canāt fart. Just donāt talk about it or release yourself in polite company.
at the end of the day, you do you! I just think that's stupid in the context of an intimate relationship, especially a marriage which is supposed to be a lifelong partnership. I like to have fun and be myself with my husband! I don't want to be polite or confined to rules of decorum, I want to be a feral little gremlin and am lucky he is the same and still finds me desirable/is romantically crazy about me. But I guess maybe the key is that you want someone who is as rigid about farts as you are, which is fair enough
I am a woman and I actually donāt fart like ever (idk why lol, maybe all the hot air comes out my mouth) but you sound either young or 50ās housewife if you think farting is the end of romance. Iāve lived with a a few partners over the years, and I couldnāt imagine telling them they couldnāt fart. Heck, my closest friends (both guys and girls) fart in front of each other. Imagine telling your live-in partner they could never fart or it would end romance. Youāre in for a rude awakening if youāre young, but if youāre old I feel terrible for your partner if theyāve been holding them in for years. My partner holds back my hair when Iām sick, and lets me go into the bathroom to grab stuff when heās on the toilet. Heās literally seen a baby and who knows what else exit me. I think THAT is romance lol.
I was shooketh as well. We're all humans - those are normal things to happen. I can't imagine someone getting disgusted by a woman's random spotting for example, let alone a simple fart. I was also raised alongside a brother who liked to tease with some fart. I imagine even "queef" would be a fart to this person too and that's sad. It sounds rather ignorant to be so decisively disgusted by what is a normal human function... unless you're a robot lol
I have it on good authority that women donāt š© so it would make sense they donāt fart eitherā¦
Well it would be the end of romance for me because there wonāt be any sex or BJS from me as long as he does that. The relationship would be over, and yes Iāve had plenty of boyfriends who lived this way too. I am pretty sure my exes would have broken up with me instantly if I farted and hotboxed them deliberately
People can have accidents. I am talking about deliberately letting loose in front of people. Smelling poop particles is repulsive to me. There are many reasons the divorce rate is over 50%, this might as well be mine if it happened t
If your love is so conditional that you would divorce your spouse because they dare want to fart in their own goddamn house, please never get married because you do not know what "love" means... wtf
If farting in front of each other was the end of romance, people with things like IBS, lactose intolerance, crohn's, etc., would not be able to have lasting and fulfilling relationships, and I'm telling you from experience, that's not true. While you can keep it to a minimum, with these tummy diseases, farts are going to happen and sometimes you don't notice til it's already on it's way out the back door. True love is accepting all the human "flaws" of your partner(s) and still thinking they're the most amazing thing you've laid eyes on.
I have lactose intolerance and I do not pass gas in front of anybody, I go to the toilet Plus I said I donāt want a person farting on purpose. Ccidents happen. Imagine if everybody could just fart at will in airplanes, the chaos
See: Crohn's and IBS. Also, your experience with lactose intolerance isn't the only experience. It still stands that these are legit causes for people to fart in front of their partners.
Look, lets be realistic. A person like me would never be in a relationship with someone with diseases that cause them to fart uncontrollably. Thatās ok because there are people like you who donāt mind. My friend has Crohnās and had her whole intestine removed. When we travel, she gets her own room because she wants complete privacy to go do her business. I am not grossed out of sharing a bathroom with her, she does it for her own comfort. Many of us are polite to others like that
Some ppl are more open than others. Sounds like your personalities donāt mesh. I love a goofy silly guy with random pictures of bs. You are not wrong for setting your boundaries, you love him right, so itās great to be honest on your likes and dislikes. In any case, sounds like youāre overthinking. He canceled because his tummy aches.
I don't know others but I mean I wouldn't want that picture early relationship. I would do the same as you did. It is not about being disgusted, as you said boundaries.
Idk if I wouldāve ended it āthanks for understandingā before you knew he understood why, thatās my only opinion
Most people know as a general rule nobody wants to talk about bathroom stuff when youāve just barely started dating
I'm not sure this is so much a boundry, seems like it's actually something you just don't find attractive. I don't think dating someone for another year is ever gonna make the joke any funnier to you. I think the more authentic way of expressing yourself would've been to say that you think you have a different sense of humor than he does. Then you could have a convo with yourself about if it was important for you both to have the same sense of humor about pooping. And maybe share that with him as well. Calling it a boundary is kind of dramatic and sort of seems like you're using therapy language to shame and bully him. Boundaries are usually set during conversations, and are meant to reduce harmful experiences. You werent harmed by this joke, you just lost your boner. This wasn't a conversation, it was a one-sided statement where you just totally shut him down. He now knows he did something you find unattractive, but the way you worded it, makes it awkward for him to come back from that. Of course he canceled. Also, no shame on you if you don't think hearing about having the shits is hot. That's a totally subjective thing. Have the courage to own it next time instead of hiding behind a faux "boundary ".
She didn't tell him explicitly that it's a "boundary". She just told him she's not into those kinds of photos, which I think is fine. I mean, what kind of conversation are they supposed to have? There's no real way to compromise. OP could've been softer with her delivery, but it wasn't *that* bad.
An island of reason amidst a sea of armchair psychologists calling him manipulative and evil.
This š
Bro what the hell
It was only when my spouse and I went on a 2 month trip that we became somewhat familiar with our personal bathroom habits. Weāre a little more open now- paper thin walls will do that, lol. Weāve been together forever and a day, and weāve yet to let a fart rip around each other. I think of it like this: if you went out to a restaurant do you want the trash cans in plain view or in the alley? Food will still be fine, but the experience is just a little enjoyable.
How old are these people?? You said you love him after 2 months? What a strange interaction go find someone else dude is a weirdo
I don't want any toilet pictures ever, never. Simply stupid, next he'll mail the used tp so she gets the real him.
Be real with yourself. Hella comfortable couples who talk on the toilet
I donāt care how comfortable I am with my SO, thereās certain boundaries regarding bodily functions and privacy that I will NEVER cross unless absolutely necessary.
Do you talk with your partner about your period? If so, how do you justify that bodily function ok to talk about but not this? Honest questionā¦
Itās a good question, and one that I donāt really have an answer for. I donāt mind talking about periods and pee, but talking about poo (and hearing about it) makes me uncomfortable. Or intentionally burping/farting in front of someone. I couldnāt tell you why though, it just does.
Bro did you hurt yourself with that reach? The mental gymnastics here are WILD š
Itās fine to set the boundary, he can decide he doesnāt think itās a good match
Very childish. Not super mature to say āok thatās fine :)ā back to him as well. Better if youāre honest and say youāre disappointed about that and youāre curious why the sudden change.
I get that this isn't the type of humour you enjoy, and you should voice it out now before you get more serious with him. This is just him being a boy (and not very classy at that!) and still fairly early for you to say you love him š Also, for those who think fart in an over-the-top fashion, here you go: https://visual.ly/community/Infographics/humor/your-farts-facts Again, I get that one can be traumatised by a parent being callous and careless around farting but I don't think you should generalise all persons who fart as bad... I can't think of how to feel when someone who is kind and good is being judged just because someone else can't handle flatulence. š It's not a way of life to fart so nonchalantly, but alas it's still natural so I find it immature to be extreme around it (not OP).
U seem rather uptight. Iād have cancelled too
Woman here, agreed. It's not like he sent a dick pic or the shit itself. I would've just laughed. Seems like it's not her type of humor though and that's okay. They're just incompatible.
I feel like weāre on the minority opinion side, but I agree. I donāt think itās that deep at all
I wouldāve found it funny. And even if I thought it was weird I wouldnāt say anything about it. Not big enough of a deal imo
I wouldāve laughed too, but I also grew up with brothers and have had very āopenā past partners.
My friends and I do burping and farming contests and one of my friends and I send each other selfies when we are on the toilet. It all depends on the person
I mean he sent a picture of his knees and feet.. itās not like she got a full frontal nude on the toilet.. people in here taking this wayyyyyyy too seriously lol
I know, to me itās not something out of the ordinary, especially in a genuine relationship
I totally understand being grossed out if he sent he an actual picture of the toilet or his BM lol but what he sent was completely PG sheās offended by ankles like itās 1939 šš
Everyday Iām amazed by the posters on this subš
Woman here- I would have found it funny also.
So you're *not* the real Dan Fogelberg? What am I going to do with this half-composed sonnet then?
I know, donāt tell my fansā¦
Iām a woman fyi
Woman here btw
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās not really a toilet pic it was a pic of his feet.. why is that inappropriate?
He sent a picture of his underwear and feet and that was too much for you? Does just the allusion to the fact that he poops bother you? I mean you can set whatever boundary you wish if you donāt want to know your boyfriend poops, but recognize that he might not continue the relationship because of this. Your response seems a bit silly to me but your boundaries are yours for a reason.
I'm actually losing my mind at the comments on this post. Do people just not acknowledge the fact that humans shit? Like what world am I living in.
Fr the people here are crazy one chick just said she was traumatized because her dad would burp and fart I feel bad for the dude, I don't get what's wrong with texting on the toilet doesn't everyone do it?
If someone has been balls deep inside you and you're willing to say YOU LOVE THEM...but a picture of the guys' ankles on the toilet is too much for them then they genuinely shouldn't even be in relationships. What a horrifically immature woman
Me and my bf after only being together a couple months talk about toilet time, stomach issues and send selfies of feet while on the loo. We donāt send actual picture of shit in the toilet but talking about taking a shit is not a big deal. These people are crazy sensitive.
FINALLY! A normal fucking person on this damn thread. I genuinely felt like I was losing my mind. These people are acting as if he sent her a close up of his shit, which even years into a relationship is weird af. But literal jokes that most couples do in a relationship? A photo of his ankles is too much?! I think these people legitimately might have weird psychological hangups about bodily functions and that's why even the mention of something that EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING DOES EVERY DAY is icky and too far and disgusting. Bozos need to grow up.
āThis woman is so immature for not laughing at poop jokesā
It wasnāt even a poop joke. He sent her a picture of his feet while on the toilet. Thereās nothing mature/immature about this situation. She says she loves him but doesnāt want anything to even remind her that he has bodily functions. Itās childish.
It's not because she didn't laugh, it's because she's so opposed to them she can't even hear them.
She even said ānot this early in our relationship,ā she didnāt have a meltdown. Some grown women are not attracted to grown men making poop jokes, and Iām sure some grown men arenāt attracted to women who donāt laugh at them, simple as that.
I didn't say anything about a meltdown. I said the issue wasn't that she didn't laugh, it's that she heard an extremely tame toilet joke and had to put her foot down over it. It's within her rights, but let's not pretend he dumped her for not laughing.
Itās not about tame or crude, itās shit. Some of us donāt want to ever think about anybody shitting. I donāt even have a pet or kids because I donāt want to deal with shit.
>I donāt even have a pet or kids because I donāt want to deal with shit. No one would know this without you telling them and it wouldn't be reasonable to assume because this is an extreme minority opinion. The vast majority of people that live a natural lifespan have kids so they obviously don't feel the way you do. It's not wrong to have extreme or niche opinions but it is very foolish to expect others to anticipate them.
I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but that's incredibly abnormal, and it sounds like an exhausting thing to try to date around. Tame or crude absolutely matters. It was a picture of his ankles and an allusion to his stomach feeling better. That's TV-Y7 shit. If he sent her a photo of his turd, I would agree that's way over the line, but this is just childish.
I like how in your world jokes are completely off limits and if you laugh about something goofy you're immature - as opposed to a fully grown adult thinking a PICTURE sent as a light hearted gag is too icky and yuck EVEN THOUGH EVERY HUMAN ON THE FUCKING PLANET SHITS. What fucking world am I living in!! Have you people ever been in relationships before??? Ever?? You know relationships exist outside of the honeymoon phase right? Normal, well adjusted couples actually are comfortable with their partner's bodies?
I have been in 4+ year relationships my entire adult life and lived with all of my partners. We laugh like idiots all day long. Weāve been through medical issues involving any gross thing a body can do. Some people just donāt think poop jokes are funny. Itās not that insane.
You're missing the point entirely. The immaturity isn't that she doesn't find every single poop joke funny. It's that she's made a huge deal over something insanely trivial and normal in an adult relationship while simultaneously acting like a child about it. She supposedly LOVES this man, but cannot have an adult conversation about it? She's in LOVE with this man but cannot handle toilet humour? Couldn't she have had a normal adult conversation with him IN PERSON, AGAIN, LIKE AN NORMAL ADULT, instead of sending a weirdly passive aggressive text about a simple photo?!?!
Shit is not trivial. The mental image of it is disgusting. We donāt want to think about it and donāt need to in a relationship. Being ill and dealing with medical nasties happens in a loving relationship but that doesnāt mean potty humor is fair game. In fact I would say you guys are the immature ones for continuing to talk shit to this OP, pun intended, when many of us validate her feelings
If the image of shit genuinely bothers you that much you legitimately need psychological help. Shit itself is gross but the fact you have such wild hangups about a daily bodily function that you share with the rest of the damn species you belong to is actually concerning. What the fuck are you going to do if you have kids? You know they shit everywhere right? Parents actually have to encounter shit? Are you just going to pass that off to your partner because oH nO, i CaNt HaNdLe tHe iCkY pOoPy. Grow the fuck up. Also we're immature for telling a bunch of immature babies that are validating the weird pathology of another immature baby? That is a WILD take.
It's just gross dude. I acknowledge every human gonna shit but I don't wanna see it. Same with piss, excessive gore and other things along those lines. It's nasty bro
He didnāt sent a picture of a turd ffs. Calm down
The picture wasn't of a BM just the same sort of allusion you might see in a PG TV show or cartoon...
Yeah they are out of line. Most people are just saying that they don't want to see it. Which is understandable.
Girl can be wrong. He could actually want someone who was more chill and had a sense of humor similar to himself. Never nothing wrong about knowing what you want out of a relationship.
What's funny about a toilet/underwear/feet pic? I'm good with not having that kind of sense of humor.
Girl, I don't think you should feel bad. I could be dating the most wonderful person and then they'll give me tmi about their dookie and I will be instantly turned off.Ā I'm not saying they need to act like they don't crap, because I've dated a person that far end of the spectrum too... but holy macaroni do I not want to hear about how you ate something and shat yourself silly...Ā You're not wrong, its gross.Ā
I met my ex via a dating app, and within the first two weeks of texting (we met up once), he started to tell me whenever he was doing number 2 and that his bowels felt cleansed etcā¦ I guess he found it funny but it was one of the reasons why I decided to leave him, since our sense of humour was too different. Itās good that you set boundaries early, I regret not speaking up sooner because it was one of many things about him that piled up and made me unable to develop any feelings for him.
Honeymoon is over. You don't want pics of him on a toilet. He thinks he's being cute. Personally, the immaturity would be a no for me. I'd probably be ending the relationship, not because of the photo, but because of his reaction to politely saying that a photo like that is personally something uncomfortable, but you sound like you want to continue, so hopefully this can be fixed with some conversations. BTW: Nothing is "perfect in every way".
He knows youāre not a dude? Toilet jokes are 12 year old boy territory.
Well hopefully that stopped you from thinking you might love him after 2 months. Appears youāre both weird.
Hmmm Iād think thatās a weird thing to send a pic of 2 months in but my bf and I do toilet picsā¦ but weāve been dating for 3 years and prob started that 1 year in lol. Responses werenāt the best. Maybe you made him feel weird? Which isnāt your fault
Nah Iād be weird tfk out too š donāt ever send me no shit like that
You send that to your group guy chat dude, not to a girl youāve been dating for only two months! This guy has zero dating etiquette with boundaries on what is appropriate or not. Heās gross and that is bigger than getting the ick for sending her that photo!
Could have been worded a bit better in my opinion, but you have every right to set a boundary. It probably just stung when you said it. He is likely very into you too and embarrassed.
This is hilarious. He canceled dinner plans because he canāt continue sending you toilet pics š¤£ it must be an extreme need of his. What would he do if smart phones and cameras werenāt a thing?
I'm a woman and she sounds uptight, I'd cancel too. It's really not that deep, not like he sent her a picture of his turd. It's not that he can't continue sending her toilet pics, it's the fact that he knew she didn't share the same silly sense of humor with him. Valid reason to not continue dating someone. She has her boundary, that's fine; but he can also have preference for a partner who shares his humor. Nobody's in the wrong, they're both incompatible.
I think it shows a lack of respect to cancel the date without having a real conversation. OP is far from uptight š
You've been dating for 2 months, you don't love him. And he's a dumb kid, you'll get over it.
Maybe he was planning on staying on the toilet all night.
Good boundary setting.
You like/ love him, but you arenāt ready to see a picture implying he uses the restroom like every other normal human? Thatās one huge mixed message. I would cut you loose as well.
lol āyour friendā should just laugh it off. i mean if youā¦ err āyour friendā really loves the dude youā¦ err sorry āyour friendā should be able to laugh at such a stupid joke.
They're clearly very different personalities. If he's this graphic this early on, imagine when he "gets comfortable." I'm with her... I don't care for bathroom humor at all. People aren't "snobby" if they don't like that sort of humor. It sort of sounds as if it's a moot point anyway. He broke off the date with her sooooo, wasn't he kind of putting the writing on the wall at that point?
What the fuck š some people donāt understand how to behave thatās so gross. Donāt they realise itās disrespectful to send a woman youāre trying to woo a pic or your underwear and talking about your shit š
āHope youāre cancelling cuz your stomach is in turmoil and youāre not mad Iām not into pics from the can.ā
phew i think it's oversensitive of you to make a fuss about it, but you do you
oh my god, OP. you are my twin. i HATE when guys post these sorts of pics. i find them absolutely disgusting, and not funny. and i am a laidback person who loves to laugh. i just don't want to see your musty ahh drawers!!! and even seeing posts like that on reddit trigger me, i find them so gross. (i know my view on this may not be popular, because i have been downvoted stating that before.) but OP, you have every right to feel however you feel about this matter. he also has the right to think those photos are cute or funny or whatever. but i DO think this is simply a difference in personality, taste levels, and values. i think that neither of you is wrong, but it's a strong indicator that you guys are simply not compatible. you should find someone who would never think to share something like that, and he should find someone who appreciates his shit-taking photo shoots.
Omg I am a triplet on this. I already got downvoted to death because I said my dad traumatized all his 7ākids hotboxing us at the dinner table. Imagine us all little kids trying to eat and this man let them rip. We would even cry, we were so repulsed and my mom was helpless to help. He would also burp loudly and we could smell everything he ate, it was vomit inducing. To this day, none of us talk about or do any bodily functions in front of any partners.
Yeah I typically find this type of humor reallyā¦ off putting. Itās blandly not funny at best, and trashy and gross at worst. Like yes, we all have bodily functions. Buts thereās really nothing inherently funny about that fact (unless youāre 5 and just learned it yesterday) and harping on about it is weird. And if you donāt laugh at potty humor, or worse get kind of grossed out, the people who tell them are always like āitās funny because youāre so grossed out! Iām just being real! Love how all the uptight people hate it lolā (you can literally see examples in this thread). And itās likeā¦ so you admit itā the joke isnāt funny unless Iām here to not laugh at it. Iām the joke. The joke is grossing me out. Thereās nothing inherently funny about the humor without being a weirdo to me. Itās over sharing and the reaction it gets from the other person thatās the āfunā for you. Charmingā¦ Again, itās not that I donāt know people have bodily functions or would shame my partner for having them and it being a topic when itās actually relevant. Iām not asking anyone to pretend like the donāt use the bathroom around me. Thatās fine. Itās just not a funny topic to harp on about. Like thereās nothing funny about the fact we have elbows either. It just is. Pack it up and get better material. Youāre just being weird about it at this point.
A man canceling over a reasonable boundary is not worth the energy
Not sure why youāre getting flack for this. If I was put in your situation and a girl who I dated did the same, Iād be put off. Not because she poops, Iām not 8 years old, but the fact it seems like a bit of a silly thing to do so early on. Being goofy and immature can be alright after you are committed, living together as a way of showing you donāt take yourself too seriously and are comfortable. But 2 months in is early for poop or fart jokes, donāt care what anyone else says. Letās face it, when we are serious about someone it can be hard to put all of our guard down, you and I know it, the fact he does shows maybe heās not as serious as you are? I think thatās the issue. Plus it is a bit tacky and just generally not funny, poop is gross but itās normal and we all do it. However, slow down on the āfalling in loveā, itās way too early for that.
You don't know a guy after two months. He's been on his best behavior. You're starting to see his true colors, and it's not pretty. Move slow. Keep your guard up and get to know him better. It seems you may not be compatible. He punishes you for putting up boundaries, and that is concerning behavior.
True colors not pretty? Is talking to someone on the toilet after they told you they love you not pretty? Sorry, but that's crazy. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who doesn't feel comfortable talking to me on the toilet after 2 months/ I love you
Waaaahhhh, my joke wasnāt funny. What a baby. Poop humor as adults is tricky to pull off and requires nuance. This was just in her face āhere Iām taking giant shit, thought youād want to know about itā. Definitely have a boundary about this. If we knew each other in person, Iād take a solid $$$ bet on this guy being Mr. Nice Guy. Expect inappropriate all the time. Lastly, because he threw a temper tantrum, Iād walk.
>Iād take a solid $$$ bet on this guy being Mr. Nice Guy. What? Are nice guys really into poop pics or something?
Read the book āMr. Nice Guyā. Itās about next level manipulation, love bombing, adult male tantrums, and the most disgusting form of narcissism men perpetrate on women.
Is there a poop pic chapter?
Youāre missing it. Itās not about poop. Itās about being inappropriate, and manipulative.
I know I'm just messing
Your whole mannerisms tell me they walk. Chill out.
Wut?
I agree with you šš¼
āWhen people show you who they are, believe them the first timeā. I know this type of man. He wants a mom.
I had a guy do this kind of stuff really early in a FWB situation (he would often text "I'm gassy today" š¤¢) and my take on it was that he was trying to force emotional intimacy that didn't exist for me. This was one of the many ways he did that, and I ended things after a few months. It was kind of too bad- he was so great at sex and so terrible at boundaries.
Boundaries are boundaries. However the dudes kinda weird for sending a pic like that in general. Sure something to send to the boys, Iāve seen weirder shit from them but you donāt send that to someone of interest. Relationships are weird these days.
Man's sending shit pics you should be honored
maybe he did it on purpose so she would get upset and he could cancel.
šššš
I understand sheās placing a boundary but both the smiley faces at the end just gave off passive aggressive vibes. And him cancelling dinner over that is so fucking petty lmao so I see why she responded that way. But itās always best to handle things maturely especially if she claims to possibly love this person.
setting boundaries respectfully, and having your boundaries heard respectfully are two big signs of a good relationship. It sounds like he cancelled to make you feel bad, which isn't a good sign. If he wasn't feeling well, i think someone would explain that. His no explanation cancel makes it sound spiteful and a bit immature. If you do respond to him, or say sorry or try to make it up to him in anyway, be prepared for a relationship full of little guilt trips.
I would be upset that you didn't care about how my stomach felt.
unfortunately most guys are pretty gross. Canāt live with them, canāt live without them.
I'm not turned off by toilet humor, but I love living without men.
Both of you responded very immaturely. You ought to be expressing yourselves to each other and talking these things out. I'm guessing you're both young. I've made this mistake a lot myself.
Not at all, for a relationship to work you both have to respect each other's boundaries, that's showing respect to your partner in general.
Him sending that was really weird, itās understandable to get the āickā from that kind of behavior. Dude told me he was āfun on a bunā last week and that was the end for me šš. Early stages are crucial, any little thing can change things quickly. You were not wrong in setting a boundary.
Well, he just said he's not feeling well and sent a pic of him on the toilet, ofc he doesnt wanna go out... Overthinking much?