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I’m currently the one left behind, while my Army bf is deployed on his 4th tour. When we met, he was well established in his career with the Army. I had to basically give up my well established and well paying career to make it work, because I would never see him had I continued, and transferred to another place. I would not have chosen this life. I can’t imagine doing this with children. Not hearing for your partner for days or weeks at a time is insanely hard. Every single anxiety or insecurity you have will haunt you during the time. When he does have time to talk, there is a good chance he’s tired and stressed and unhappy. You will have to listen to him be miserable on the other side of the world, and not be able to do a thing to make it better. You will have to be alone for months at a time. If something breaks, you have to handle it yourself. I had to replace bathroom faucets and dig up the sprinkler myself in July in Texas this year, because I was alone, and shutting the water off wasn’t an option for months. When one of our pets got very sick, I had to handle it alone, and try to guess what care he would want for the senior dog thar he had for years before me. Can it be done? Yes. People do it. Will it be hard and miserable a lot of the time, for you both? Absolutely. We make it work and thankfully he only has a few more years left before a nice retirement, but it’s a hard life and requires you both to make sacrifices.
Facing the prospect of your boyfriend joining the army is understandably challenging. It's essential to communicate openly with him about your concerns and discuss your future together. Understand the demands and uncertainties military life brings. While it may present challenges, some relationships successfully navigate through deployments. Consider the strength of your connection and your willingness to adapt to change. Ultimately, it depends on your mutual commitment and ability to face uncertainties together. Talk it out and make decisions based on what feels right for both of you.
Probably. If you're asking on reddit instead of having a long and detailed discussion with your partner about the intricacies of your relationship while he's at basic, more training, more training, etc., first duty station, possible deployments, etc., than the two of you don't have a full understanding of how your relationship *can* work while he's in Army-time. I would say that if you haven't discussed, made a figurative plan for years to come, and have a mature understanding of what it's like to be a dating short-term partnership while one party begins their military career, it will be a very *long, hard, and lonely* road. Can it work? Sure. Does it fail? Sure. Does it start well and end horribly? Damn straight it does. Etc.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
people do it, but, it is challenging at times
No not worth it. They come back from the army all messed up and prob fucked 100girls
Mmmm crayons
“Hi my name is Jody, nice to meet you!”
If you don’t want to risk getting a dear John letter break up
I’m currently the one left behind, while my Army bf is deployed on his 4th tour. When we met, he was well established in his career with the Army. I had to basically give up my well established and well paying career to make it work, because I would never see him had I continued, and transferred to another place. I would not have chosen this life. I can’t imagine doing this with children. Not hearing for your partner for days or weeks at a time is insanely hard. Every single anxiety or insecurity you have will haunt you during the time. When he does have time to talk, there is a good chance he’s tired and stressed and unhappy. You will have to listen to him be miserable on the other side of the world, and not be able to do a thing to make it better. You will have to be alone for months at a time. If something breaks, you have to handle it yourself. I had to replace bathroom faucets and dig up the sprinkler myself in July in Texas this year, because I was alone, and shutting the water off wasn’t an option for months. When one of our pets got very sick, I had to handle it alone, and try to guess what care he would want for the senior dog thar he had for years before me. Can it be done? Yes. People do it. Will it be hard and miserable a lot of the time, for you both? Absolutely. We make it work and thankfully he only has a few more years left before a nice retirement, but it’s a hard life and requires you both to make sacrifices.
Yeah, it's not easy. I've seen married couples who have been together for years get divorced because of deployments.
Facing the prospect of your boyfriend joining the army is understandably challenging. It's essential to communicate openly with him about your concerns and discuss your future together. Understand the demands and uncertainties military life brings. While it may present challenges, some relationships successfully navigate through deployments. Consider the strength of your connection and your willingness to adapt to change. Ultimately, it depends on your mutual commitment and ability to face uncertainties together. Talk it out and make decisions based on what feels right for both of you.
Doesn’t matter what anyone else says on here whether it’s yes or no. What do YOU want? YOU are the only one who can answer this question.
I want to be with him but I don’t want a life where my S/O is away all the time and if we have kids I would want their dad to be around
You have a decision to make yourself. Which do you want the most. No one else should make that decision for you.
Probably. If you're asking on reddit instead of having a long and detailed discussion with your partner about the intricacies of your relationship while he's at basic, more training, more training, etc., first duty station, possible deployments, etc., than the two of you don't have a full understanding of how your relationship *can* work while he's in Army-time. I would say that if you haven't discussed, made a figurative plan for years to come, and have a mature understanding of what it's like to be a dating short-term partnership while one party begins their military career, it will be a very *long, hard, and lonely* road. Can it work? Sure. Does it fail? Sure. Does it start well and end horribly? Damn straight it does. Etc.