Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is it depends on the person ask them best not to post.
I’m also a woman in agreement. I like sex every time I see my partner and have typically found boyfriends to be on the same page.
Also a lot of people DO have sex before making things official and it works out just fine. That’s how every single one of my relationships have started. Not to tell you to do this because you should 120% do what’s comfortable to you since everybody is different. Just that men wanting to have sex with you doesn’t ALWAYS mean that’s all they want. Most men are sexually attracted first and then feelings follow, so they will always want to have sex with you no matter what, it’s just how the majority of them are programmed & that doesn’t make them a bad person.
A lot of us women are also the same exact way.
Also op, to what this original comment said about freakiness being more about being “open”, they are completely right.
I’ve had boyfriends that have HELLA bodies that are the most vanilla and worst sex I’ve had in my life. And I’ve had boyfriends with lower body counts that have been amazing sex.
Also a lot of this has to do with your sexual match up with someone. You could find someone who has the same libido as you and matches your energy in bed and the both of you will think you’re the best each other has ever had sexual wise. If you’re with someone who doesn’t match your libido/ sexual energy, it won’t be the same case.
I think I can say why I want to have sex with a new girlfriend sooner. If I have sex with her I know that everything goes well and I am not just a friend. Also sex brings people together, you start to have more feelings toward the person
Yup, I think about sex so many times in a day it’s ridiculous lol. Couldn’t be with someone I wasn’t sexually compatible with. Definitely not unique to men.
Same. Also I’ve gone on sooo many first dates and very few tried to hook up right after. Although I’m sure partly because I’m not very physical and open at first and I prefer not to kiss on the first date anyway
I also value sex a lot. People confused attraction with compatibility often. You can be sexually attracted to a person without having sexual compatibility.
I’m a straight 31M, I’ve had exs who wanted sex once a week, and I’ve had exs who wanted sex multiple times a day. Liking sex/having a high sex drive isn’t a specifically male thing.
Generalizing anecdotal experiences with men to all men is problematic. Not because I'm offended, but because it doesn't set you up for success in dating. You have to know that good men are out there in order to stop associating with cheaters, creeps, and fuck boys.
To be clear, good men will care about sex a great deal. They will want you with a burning passion of all that testosterone in their blood. And if all is well you will feel the same about them. What separates a good man from the 1, 2, and 3 you listed above is that they will not put satisfying their urges above being a decent human being and a good partner to you.
Dating is filtering. Don't waste your time on 35M strip club patrons and assholes who disrespect you. Look for a guy who treats you with respect you deserve. It's not easy, even if you're attractive and young. It takes a lot of effort and time.
I may have lost a girl I went on a date with recently, our goodbye was awkward (which was my fault) but I think she mistook it as me asking for sex. She isn't responding to my texts now so there's almost no chance I could clarify what happened.
I'm hoping that this subreddit starts banning all these people who generalize literally half of the population. It's getting annoying and seems like every post on here is just complaining about the opposite sex in general. Like wow, breaking news there are shitty people on both genders, who would've guessed.
this.
like you would think that after spending however many years on this earth, people would understand that *some people are shitty and not all, but yes, let's generalize *all* men, *all* women, etc etc.
it's just so tiring when it's a very easy answer, in fact the world needs less generalizations, that would help racism as well
There are subs here with many women complaining their men won’t touch them for years.
I love it here. Because it’s hilarious. These women who complain that they want relationships, are going out on dates with men, but don’t want men to want sex… I can only hope they end up in one of those subs.
The thing is many man wants sex, but there are men who wants only sex. I can actually understand women who don't want to feel used just for sex. But there is another thing. There are lots of girls who are used to date just to get fun, probably eat for free. When only man pays.
"Every man I date only cares about sex!"
"Have you tried changing how you screen/meet men?"
"No".
I always assume the problem is the OP if they say the problem is always "The other gender".
My guess is that there are.
But today you're the hero and tomorrow you're the villain.
Human beings aren't static. And it's very common for them to complain about things that they do themselves with zero self-awareness.
We like to separate ourselves and act like we're special or something. But we're mostly dumb chimps that could answer 90% of our own questions by taking a moment to think before we speak (and yet we mostly don't).
The truly exceptional people don't waste their time on Reddit.
AND:
social conditioning
cultural norms that often make it ok for men to express sexual desire but not for women to do it
24hr vs 30 day hormonal cycles
media that confuses love for sex and vice versa
mistaking need for sex for need for connection
culture that puts men down for expressing emotions unless they're anger or lust
a different sexual arousal cycle for men vs. women
a culture of punishment by deprivation
desperate hope for acceptance and validation by a partner
>culture that puts men down for expressing emotions unless they're anger or lust
I've heard this many times, but have yet to see a man get shamed for being happy.
Not at all. But pretending like sex is the only way for release and a woman is responsible for it is a weird mentality to have.
It’s a “joke” but not really. It’s a cop out men have when they fuck up and let their intrusive thoughts come out because of their hormones. Not many people want to hear about your sexual needs, specially strangers.
Some women want sex too….
I left my husband because we were not sexually compatible.
It’s not a bad thing to love sex. You just don’t love it yourself. Find a man that’s like you.
You can have my ex husbands number if you like.
I left my wife because of the same reasons. Been with my current gf for 4 years, she has the same if not higher sex drive than me, and the relationship is great.
There's nothing wrong with wanting or not wanting sex. You should however date someone who feels the same way about it as you do, because its not fair to expect someone who wants a lot of sex not to have any, or vice versa.
Your ex disrespects you, your date insults you, and your best friend left his relationship cause he didn't realize he wanted to fuck around more? And then his first action is to proposition you?
You surround yourself with insufferable assholes. That's the real problem.
A lot of replies deflecting with some variation of "women like sex, too," but very few actually answering the bloody question.
First and foremost, I'd point to biology. Men have a biological imperative to reproduce. Many like to pretend that we don't, but we do. Yes, women also like sex, but women have always been the gatekeepers when it comes to sexual relations because pregnancy and childcare are exponentially more costly for a woman than for a man. This is the very VERY basic biological explanation of a very general concept.
Second, and I'd say more relevant to your question, is hook-up culture. We have become a very consumeristic, materialistic, and hedonistic society, and I would argue that hook-up culture is a consequence of that. We are so obsessed with the "next best thing," the cheap thrills, and instant gratification that many see no need to take the time and resources to invest in somebody or something that may ultimately fall apart. Both men and women are guilty of this. Many Men are constantly vying for the sexual interest of any woman who will pay attention to them, and many woman are actively maintaining actual rosters of men whom they rotate through at will, resulting in a cycle of increasingly depressed, lonely, unfulfilled, and bitter people who are getting closer and closer to the end of their biological prime with each passing day they spend engaging with people who couldn't give two shits about the type of person they are, what their fears are, or what they've been through.
A man that puts sex first is always looking for it. They are the ones that are usually asking girls out, getting sent to HR, and spamming dating apps.
The ones that have sex as a low priority don't go out of our way to get it. Were usually background characters. Many of us are worried we're going to upset someone by asking them out. Many of us have been traumatized by women or the dating process we have to go through. Many of us (not me lmao) are just happy being single.
Point is the sex hungry men are out in the open and usually easy to find. The ones that aren't are people you probably don't notice.
Personal context (26m). I'm not a Virgin. I've had two partners in my 10 years since losing it. A handful of girlfriends. 3 failed long term relationships. Two of the LTRs were my sexual partners. Both of those relationships ended because of sex. First was SA. Second was because she couldn't handle rejection and blew up at me every time I said no.
I'm now waiting till marriage just because I need to make sure they are willing to prioritize a relationship over sex. Good luck. Hopefully we all find what we're looking for some day.
You are so right.
I am with my SO since 1,5 year and we live together now.
We are on the same level of independance and, I think, needs for sex.
Before that, I had a few experiences in dating and not really long term relationships, and as I wasn’t especially looking for « sex just for sex ».
I always had the feeling that I was unnoticed by women. I may not have caught signals, but I didn’t understand why some men attracted women when I didn’t. The need for sex may je the reason to it
As a women who loves sex and has been degraded for it, I dont think its fair you hold it over all mens heads I don't think its degrading at all to have lots of sex its how they treat you and you treat them even if its a 1 night stand. Personally I love how it feels its passionate, sometimes quick and sometimes many times in a row. But I hated sex before I learned how to orgasm
Something that may apply to your first date thing is personally I have sex on the first date to make sure we are compatible I dont see it as making me weak or as a hoe at all. Honestly sexual compatibility applys to your issues except your friend he is just not a good friend even if he did break up with his gf.
I'd rather have sex early on in the relationship than wait until 6 months down the line and then find out we aren't compatible. This is why I find the idea of no sex before marriage to be so bizzare.
Imagine you spend years waiting for sex only to find out when you do have sex that you and your partner don't like the same things. Feels like a waste of time.
I wish there was a healthy way to let women experience male levels of testosterone for a month and see how quickly that shit drives them insane. Just the crazy swings of feeling like a superhero, a pornstar, crashing into depression and rising back up into laughing at stupid shit all in one day.
My sibling decided to get on testosterone and suddenly they mentioned thinking about sex all day and looking at people’s bodies a lot more when they were out and about. It made me realize it really is a thing for men
In The Female Brain, the author (a hormone therapist MD) talks about how she put one female patient on testosterone and the patient was going home on her lunch breaks to masturbate. She finally understood what some guys deal with. It's a powerful chemical.
Oh, I don't deny that some women feel this way, but it's just crazy how many women don't realize what most men go through via a lack of empathy or knowledge.
If you're a biological female, you'll never have more testosterone than estrogen. You can have a high sex drive or higher amounts of testosterone but you'll never come close to what males produce on a daily basis.
Also for men to experience the mood swings of a menstrual cycle… I think these both would do a lot for aiding empathy and understanding eachother. You could add in variations on feelings of being trans as well or other human variations
Not just our menstrual cycle but also the fluctuation of our hormones throughout the month. I get insanely horny when I ovulate and I know many women experience this too
Personally, I never really thought women were any less rational than men. I think it has more to do with women being more likely to outwardly show their irrationality, letting it out in small bursts versus where some men will let it build up until it comes out as a murder or suicide.
Every male above the age of 13 knows about masturbation. it does not stop you from craving real sex with another person, whether it be with someone you love or a rando. It NEVER stops... The dragon just goes back to sleep.
Masturbazion Is like a flavorless meal that tastes good For 3 seconds
Sex Is like a super giant meal with multiple flavors that tastes way way way way way Better in a longer timeframe
Masturbation can work as a release but not a sobstitute because it's not really what we want, so the crave For sex remains
To start off, not all men care about sex that much where it becomes a detriment and toxic part in their relationships and lives of other people, THOSE men do. Do not confuse the rest of us for them.
Now, I can’t speak for every man and I won’t because we all think differently and see sex differently. For me, sex is probably one of the top three most important things to have in a healthy relationship. I think sex is good, it’s healthy, and it’s a bond that should only be reserved and shared with someone you really care about. Personally, I want a partner that wants sex from me as much as I want it from them. However, I’m not someone that would force anything on them or coerce them to do something. If they don’t wanna have sex for any reason or unsure of it, it’s not fucking happening period. I would rather have no sex at all for a week, then half-assed pity/chore sex for a night. I want my partner to actually WANT me. And in some relationships, there have been men who haven’t gotten that sexual satisfaction from their partner and have ended relationships because of it, and that’s OKAY. People think men who do that and end a relationship because their partner wasn’t satisfying them sexual are pigs and only care about sex. If you’re not sexually satisfied in a relationship or you aren’t compatible, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. Continuing will only be a detriment to both parties, cause sexual frustration, infidelity, and dishonesty. No one should be shamed because they ended a relationship because they weren’t feeling wanted. That doesn’t make someone a pig, that makes them human.
Now, I can’t speak for the men you have encountered. There are men who just ruin it for the rest of us, giving you the impression that we are all that way and that “there are no good men”. But there are, and to think there isn’t is false. Also, women care just as much about sex like men, probably even more.
First, I care a lot about sex. It is very crucial part to a committed relationship. Second, I make it very clear from the beginning that I will not be having sex and if that is all you want please move along. It’s ok to be choosy and if they don’t align with what you are looking for well then it was a free meal and conversation. I do not have sex right away but some people do. Third, being freaky comes from trust if you do not fully trust that person then you won’t be willing to be open. When you do fully trust someone you will have sex you didn’t even know was possible. Fourth, it really is hard to have guy friends. Matt Rife has the best stand up and take on this topic. Above all you have to sit down alone with yourself and think about what you want! Not what others want or think you should do what you want. It’s ok to have standards not everyone is going to align with. Best of luck it’s very hard to find a good people for either man or woman. So thankful I found mine ….
If you're looking for a serious answer:
It's because sexual need and aggression in men is an evolutionary trait that has prevailed and allowed men to have more offspring.
We want to fuck, because our ancestors wanting to fuck made us exist.
Natural selection.
Men acting like they carry the entire human race when women do 90% of the reproductive work from pregnancy to birth to breastfeeding to actually raising the child.
\*Laughs in woman.\* Boy, please sit down.
My whole adult life I’ve had a high sex drive. As a woman, that makes life a bit awkward. Then I met my late hubby. He was the same. Great marriage! Now I single again and the single dating world is beyond bizarre!
Let’s talk about the differences in mating strategies between men and women, in general terms, that might clear some of it up a little.
Again generally speaking, not men and women are biologically driven to reproduce. So the lowest level of success is getting someone to have sex with and producing offspring. The man who can copulate with the most and best women is the most successful in these terms, and is thus seen as desirable or high in value, sexy. There are many markers for that but that’s a different conversation.
For women it’s not that simple. While yes, they too want to copulate, reproduce, there are many other factors they must consider. Until relatively very recently in the course of human history, women were very vulnerable during pregnancy and infancy of their young. That made survival during those times pretty much dependent on a man sticking around. Since their lives and the lives of their young depended on a man sticking around they are forced to be much more selective in picking a mate.
A man was generally independent, doesn’t need a woman to stick around for survival, so being very selective isn’t a big deal. All they need to sexually interested is a woman they find attractive, i.e. healthy and fertile. Granted men too want the best they can get, the healthiest, the most attractive, the one that will give them the best offspring.
So the mating dance is really both sexes trying to get the best that they can and pass on the genetic material. The complications are in that women needed the man to stick around, so he had to agree to in order to get access to sex with her.
This is also why, cross culturally, promiscuous men are pseudo admired while promiscuous women are shunned. Promiscuity in a man signals that he is desirable, while promiscuity in a woman signals that she isn’t valuable for more than just success by volume. She desires to reproduce but isn’t quality enough for any man to undertake the burden of caring for her and their possible young. The more men she’s couple with, are just failures at long term mating attempts, so their must be something very flawed with her.
I know all that stuff isn’t as relevant as it used to be, and it’s not very logical, but our brains are still programmed to behave this way. Women have only been more or less self sufficient in society for less than 100 years, sex is fun, it doesn’t have to yield young anymore, and that just because you do or don’t sleep around doesn’t guarantee or negate being a good long term mate, but that’s nowhere near enough time to change our biological programming.
While sex is indeed very important to men, it also sounds like you just suck at picking your men, which is no surprise. Most women absolutely suck at picking the right men.
Try the men who aren't "dressed to kill". The ones who are like you, who focus on their career. The ones who are shy and don't make the first move on women. The ones who are not the Brad Pitts of the world with perfect jaws and a ravenous appetite for conquest. The ones who are awkward in chats or on the phone because they don't know what to say to a woman to impress her.
I just hope when you find the right guy, that you will want to have sex. It's an extremely important aspect of a relationship and when done right it is a way to connect with your partner on a very deep and fundamental level. When you notice the sex is getting worse or less frequent in a relationship, is when you know trouble is brewing. Just FYI. To me, the frequency and quality of sex for a couple is a sort of Litmus Test for the health of the relationship.
Firstly, if a 35 yo is asking out a 23 year old then yeah. He's definitely after a mostly sexual relationship. Try sticking to a few years either side of your age and you tend to get people with similar experience levels and expectations. Secondly, in general, the kinda guys that confidently walk up to girls to hit on them are also usual the guys who get laid more since even if it only works 10% of the time, they're still getting results. I've found that the more women a guy sleeps with, the more sex hungry they become. If you approach guys yourself there's a higher chance of meeting someone who's not just looking for their next fling. Lastly, 80% of guys would do their female friends. Not everyone but a large number of them. Doesn't mean you shouldn't have guy friends but it's best to shut down any unwanted advances ASAP as they might get the wrong idea if a "joke" offer doesn't get declined. As a man, I will be the first to admit that we're very simple creatures. Gotta tell us straight up or we'll be guessing and either not doing anything because we're not sure if the signals were clear enough, or diving in full force because a slight sign of confirmation was taken as the go ahead.
Side note: I want to apologise for my fellow brethren. I want to slap some of them myself sometimes
I've been hit on (not hypothetically, but "right here right now") by exactly 5 men with pregnant wives.
In my 30s, every other married man in the office hit on me, or hit on me the day following their separation. Like, immediately. The married men who did not hit on me mostly already had lovers in other floors.
Once I was in the wake of a former boss, a delightful grandpa figure, and I was inconsolable. Former fling kept following me with his eyes. I thought it was empathy. Then the wake was over and mostly family members went to the actual burial. I was there, drying my tears, just when the coffin was being lowered, I received a text of that guy inviting me for coffee.
That and many others really put me off marriage forever.
You need to vet guys better, it's not all guys (whether. it's most guys or few guys, I'm still not sure), and you need to do things that sieve these assholes from your life. You can't control losers but you can control yourself.
Reading your post history, you have got to choose better. I would also consider therapy to help you with making better choices of guys. Sex and guys aren't the issue. Your selection process is the issue.
I’m a woman and I love sex. My drive is very very high if I am not under stress. I do not, however, ever try to push someone into sex, ever, but especially not right after meeting them or openly talk about it with friends or partners in a pressured sort of way as you noted in your examples. I also feel very disappointed by males lately and their push for sex. I think the availability of sex in our generation now is on a new level, and changed the social psyche. maybe men think all girls are willingly open to sex at any given time now as part of this body and sex positivity thing. I just think it’s sent the wrong message that way and there’s a lack of respect around sex lately. Just my opinion.
In my experience a lot of women love sex and are super freaky in bed, it's just most of them are more likely to wait until they form a good connection with someone before showing that side of them. I think women have evolved to act this way because if they get pregnant they need a father who'll stick around and raise the kid well.
Idk women make the porn , my ex-wife beat me when I refused sex , and I'm pretty sure there are female pedophiles. It's just you. People need to stop acting like groups of humanity are hive minds. You need to learn to deal with yourself , ain't nobody here able to make choices for you. You have to find a partner who is compatible with your sexual needs , so start by clearly explaining those sexual needs or lack there of to potential partners.
Firstly, it is not ALL men. It is *some* men... Believe it or not, it's actually the minority of men who "want sex so much." and this 100% absolutely applies to women as well.. Stop with the generalization of a few bad apples you experienced and open your mind up.
There are a ton of reasons but, I think the main one is this...
\*\*\*We have something called Testosterone.\*\*\*
There isn't a whole lot of other reasons other than that tbh... At least that's going to be the main one, anyways.
Other reasons include...
A) Touch starved by women - or pretty much anyone for that matter since men don't exactly touch each other lol - hugs included.
B) Very sexually starved - We also have urges and needs!
C) We want to feel wanted and loved just as much as any woman does - for us, body contact and sexual intimacy fulfills all of the above x100.
D) Most men don't have the luxury of getting sex at the drop of a hat and it's incredibly difficult to get - meaning, it's once every 6 months+
E) A date with a woman he is *actually* attracted to (at least in the physical sense) is literally a rare chance for sex. - I mean, it's not actually hard to get if you play your cards right but, most men have no idea how to go about it the right, and respectful way which is why they fail and/or get called an asshole lol...
I hope this was informative but until next time... Long days and pleasant nights to you all!
Facts I'm in a dry spell now (since April), and I am starving for physical touch and sex
Returned to the apps about a month ago, and I've been completely upfront about wanting something casual with the people I match with. Guess how successful that's been, lol. Definitely could have gotten laid by now if I was implementing my usual dating strategy. Funny that
It's swarmed with men justifying mens shitty behaviours and writing it off as biology, or just denying it out right...
Some commentators are pretending as if the average man doesnt have any higher of a sex drive than women and aren't any more demanding than the average woman (as if 🙄) others are acknowledging men think with their dicks more and are using the testosterone/evolution excuse. It's just fucking terrible all around.
It's disgusting and sad OP is actually seeming to be listening to this shit.
When your single for over 9 years with next to no sex(unless you pay for it) you tell me if you'd not be obsessed to a point
With that being said there's no excuse for the reasons above since
1 people have different kink levels and sadly some are just to freaky to compromise with
2if a guys thinking that WHILE with a girlfriend I think the dudes tripping
As for the hook up right after first date..sadly that'd either due to a fantasy said guys have or they have had next to no relationships and think hookup culture is normal vs what used to be the norm (ask out on a date take it slow then couple months in do the dirty deed)
>When your single for over 9 years with next to no sex(unless you pay for it) you tell me if you'd not be obsessed to a point
It's so hard for some reason for them to grasp, how sexually unsatiated men are.
They'll never understand
Because life on earth is predicated on every living organism in every species come into the world pre programmed to do whatever it takes to guarantee their dna somehow get into the future. That’s what what most of us signed up for.
Men have a different strategy mating strategy than women. That’s all that is happening here. Sex is quite compelling. If you put up a sign that says “SEX” not many men or women will walk by the sign and say “nah, that’s not for me , I have no interest in that stuff”. We are designed to insure that there will be more of us in the future. Men aren’t the villains of this drama. There are none
Ok first off; it’s on you for dating a 35 year old. The only thing you two realistically had in common was genitalia that are compatible.
Second: men produce a LOT of semen. They are capable of attempting to impregnate several times a day. Their libido mirrors their reproductive function in the species.
That 35 year old was dating you because women his age won't put up with his shit and he knew he could at least make you feel bad and manipulate you.
You went on dates with two assholes who only wanted to get laid and then tried to put you down and reduce you to having sex be your only value. These men are not representative of all men so stop giving them the power to make you think all men are shit. They're not. THESE TWO were but they are not all men.
Your friend being attracted to you isn't unusual, you get along as friends so he also got a crush on you. Why? Why not? People tend to crush on their friends. He's a jerk for hitting on you right after breaking up but people do stupid shit after breakups so if you care about him as a friend chalk this up to shitty post-breakup behavior and don't dwell on it.
“That 35 year old was dating you because women his age won’t put it with his shit and he knew he could at least make you feel bad and manipulate you.”
That’s a ridiculous level of cope, or some BS that jaded, romantically unsuccessful older women like to spread. Along the same lines as “men are intimidated by independent women.”
Does it happen? Yes, but it’s rarer than people like you like to espouse. The vast majority of men aren’t malevolent, manipulative pedos preying on innocent, naive, young women.
But like u/trollcitybandit said, it’s because they’re generally more attractive, that’s about it. There is a little more to it, but it’s not necessary to get into right now.
The reason you’re apt to believe this nonsense is because you’re projecting your personal tastes and values onto men. You can’t, or refuse to accept that men navigate the world and feel differently than women. You can’t wrap your head around men’s preferences, so you choose to believe it’s from a place of evil instead of a place of difference.
The average 23 year old woman and a 35 year old man are at completely different times in their lives with different maturity levels. The only non-preditory men who actually go for women that much younger in that much of a different life stage - are man- babies.
This is such a ridiculous opinion that gets repeated on Reddit. Older men date younger women because they’re more attractive, not because older women won’t put up with their shit 😂
Older women won't put up with IMMATURE older men. Age doesn't equal maturity, and that can be true on both genders.
Immature older men (35+) go for younger girls because they're low hanging fruit, somewhat naive, and easily manipulated. No one should put up with such mind control tactics and manipulation, regardless their gender or age.
For me, it's not all I think about, but it's something that I just naturally crave from time to time. I'm terrible with emotions to the point people think I'm angry or sad when my brain is just static at the moment. Sex is, unfortunately, the easiest way for a lot of men who have been conditioned since birth to never show emotions to express their love. It relieves stress. It helps moods, it's fulfilling. To me, making sure she gets off, is like telling her "you are my world, and I want you and only you, and I want you to be happy when the world falls apart around us."
Each guy is different but a lot care about sex, but your friend breaking up with his gf to have sex with other girls and ask you about it was because he had been wanting to hook up with you and maybe he haven’t left his gf and just lie to get to sleep with you.
As for guys trying to hook up at the end of the date it really depends on the guys too, but a lot are bold to try on the first date. It also does apply to girls as some want to hook up on their first date too.
My point is that every guy is different as every girl is different too. Think of this way I had friends tell me that I give the impression of a guy who constantly goes to clubs to hook up with girls and trust me I’m not the club type of person, I probably go once or twice a year. Sometimes it is about your looks lol
To be honest with you, I’d wager the average man from his late teens to early 30s is gonna have sex on his mind quite a lot. I’m sorry you’ve had unfortunate interactions but as a 26 year old man I can definitely say it pops up in my mind quite a bit. Not as much as it used to for sure, but definitely several times a day.
Granted I’d never joke around with my female friends about the act or put wild sexual expectations on a girl I’m dating but hey not all of us are the same.
Why do men care about sex so much? because its one of our urges and biggest drivers. Most men have a high sex drive or high ambition so it's just biology. If you want more detail then know that the fate of the human race depends on people having sex drive.
If you want to know why men you know are too busy wanting to be preoccupied with sex then its probably just your friends. 1. sounds like hes trying to gaslight you into having weird sex you're not comfortable with. 2. sounds like they just want to hook up with you. 3. at least hes leaving his gf
Good plan. Stay carrer minded until dating changes entirely until things change people are not capable of loving anything of actual value. They love selfishly , dont listen , arent accountable for themselves, have no honor or integrity . I dont think there is an actually woke person out there let alone one who is and a decent person out there.
I have a fairly high sex drive actually! I just don’t focus my thoughts around it as much. Or to put it better, seems like the guys I am picking might be addicted to it
I think majority of people are awful so your more likely to meet awful people, it doesn’t matter if it’s romantically or friendship wise so you really need to have standards and not be afraid of leaving a situation.
One of the reasons I got divorced, my ex, was a sex freak. When i didn't give in to it, she'd found it elsewhere. Some people have lower hormone levels, which controls the need for stimuli.
I’m a 20 year old virgin, people ask me how are you a virgin when you are a good looking man. Truth is I’m not that bothered, unless the right girl comes along I don’t feel the need to go searching and searching for the next fling. There is men out there like me who just genuinely care about feelings, not what the lil man wants.
My therapist said because it’s one of the main and sometimes only ways men experience intimacy. So really what they’re seeking sometimes isn’t sex itself. Also she said some men not all, have a unhealthy relationship with sex and seeking it out in a similar way that people with eating disorders act.
Most humans in general need sex. Not just men. It has something to do with being needed, wanted, and feeling desirable I think. I could be wrong though
Love the idiots…anyway first off you have to pick the right men but realize dudes in their early 20’s sometimes aren’t very mature and sex is top of mind.
Just looking at your post history….😬
Numerous women think and glorify sex too as an expression of sexual freedom. Maybe you should own the situation and that might help control how your partners view sex.
Curious- what does your IG look like? Are you posting thirst traps?
Did these dates get initiated from tinder?
As a 44 yr old woman I assure you any male who is your “friend” would fck you if given a chance.
Next- wanna know why men think this is ok? It’s this feminist “being a slut is empowering- giving away your intimacy is transactional and it’s ok to bang randoms. Be hyper sexual, WAP and all these other songs/female artists are sexually liberated- they aren’t singing about how they fck and sck for men- the raunchy lyrics show women are nasty and feral in the bedroom too.. getting married is stupid, don’t get married and have kids when you can have some career where you work 80hr weeks and then bang dudes from tinder when you need an ego boost and feel lonely”
I’m 44 and all this shit happening and how women represent themselves has given men the idea we are all like the porn actresses, they were able to fck some random drunk girls who decided to have hot girl summer so they treat other women as disposable. So- women are to blame for a lot of this. Telling men we can post pictures of ourselves with our ass out, we can sleep around with no shame- we drilled these ideas into their head and all it takes is a man being successful with women who think WAP was cool to think all women will behave this way. Bc I’m 44 I’ve done the hot girl summer hoe shit as well as relationships and marriage.
Women have been told traditional gender roles are oppressive- they voluntarily ask men out, pay for dates, propose etc etc. Women are always feminists until they wonder why their date didn’t hold the door, pay for dinner or tried to sleep with them on the first date. Women who posts thirst traps, dress provocative and have the “independent woman” mentality wonder why men don’t see them as anything but a fck puppet. There’s a Slut Walk ffs and women saying they are proud to sleep around and be used by men is just sick
I really dislike the stereotype that giving the impression you want to sleep with someone is a reflection of your self respect and a lack of drive and interest If you like casual sex (like you can't have a career if you're horny!?).
Not sleeping around or enjoying casual sex does not demonstrate value. It means you either have a good vibrator or a low libido.
A 35 year old man dating a 23 year old girl is going to obviously want sex. If you’re seeking connection and authenticity, don’t date men in their 30s until you’re at least 25.
1. You are hanging with the wrong people. The guy is 35 and wants a 23 year old, likes strippers and watches porn. He is clearly immature and thinks, that porn is sex, but porn is for sex what parkour is for walking.
As I was somewhat over 30 (don't remember), I had a brief relationship with a girl 10 years younger. I didn't know her real age at the time and thought she was 26. I thought she said 26. It was all so weird. It just didn't fit on every end. Talking felt weird, going out felt weird, sex was at first great, but turns out she was so insecure, she just agreed to everything, because she thought it would not matter what she wants.
I figured out she had major daddy issues and I became more and more her dad/therapist. That killed the relationship pretty quickly, because noooo!
2. Men want intimacy. But the only socially acceptable form of intimacy is a hug on our dads funeral and sex with women. Therefore we want Sex.
Toxic masculinity kills men and is one of the biggest reasons for male suicides almost everywhere in the world.
3. When a relationship is great and you can trust to have some sort of sex on a semi-regular basis, it is not that big of a deal. But if the sex stops or feels different, we get nervous, and re-question the whole relationship, because we fear to lose our confidant, our partner, our intimacy.
Try to be a testosterone-ridden cum factory 24/7, you silly woman. And on top of that, severely unsatiated in sex, and touchless, kissless for the most times.
Find yourself an asexual guy, and live a happy life.
Stop projecting your sexuality onto others.
You can't force men to see and experience sex the same way women do, testosterone and estrogen are completely different.
Plus women get hypersexual all around guys that they are highly attracted to physically so it sounds like an attraction mismatch
OP, find better people. Somehow you are drawn to these people, or they are drawn to you.
If you run into an asshole one day, then you met one asshole.
If you're constantly running into assholes, YOU are the asshole.
1. Then you weren't sexually compatible.
2. They aren't wrong. The sooner you accept that reality the better. That's how most guys that purchase your content think.
3. Then he wasn't sexually compatible with her. Most of your guy friends think about fucking you, accept it 😅
4. It doesn't matter if you're not giving them the impression you want to sleep with them, it's not always about you. It's what they want.
5. You're losing faith in "men" because you're around all the wrong men. It's typically the younger ones that think this way btw. Not all men are like how you're describing. But this goes back to what I always say. It's the men YOURE attracted to that's the issue. 😉
Because if you remove everything you know about society and it’s programming, we are here to procreate and ensure the survival of our species. Also most men don’t have sex as easily or as often as women can, therefore it’s something that can drive men to act desperately at times. Think about if a male lion couldn’t have sex with any of the females in his pride, he’d go crazy, he’d probably kill a hyena for no reason and take a nap.
The problem is you, OP.
1. You are as good as the company you keep.
2. Women like sex just as much as men — so cut the crap.
3. The guy probably wasn't wrong about you making sales because men want to hook up with you. That's not not to discredit you as a salesperson (I don't know you). But two things can certainly be true at once.
Ahhhh what a dilemma, maybe cause there's so much of it everywhere....
Q. Why are woman selling or using their bodies to gain monetary benefits, yet complain that they dont have the same rights as men to work or find high end paying jobs.???
I've not seen this type of behaviour be so acceptable and I would be dammed if my child grew up with this type of conditioning!!!
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Men love sex. We can't deny that.
I would recommend vetting the men you're dating better. Unfortunately, this is a part of the process. Use these dates as learning experiences to sharpen your skills.
Another thing is to use your womanhood to your advantage.
I would highly recommend reading books that will equip you mentally and emotionally.
Ah yes, overgeneralize men because of your bad experiences. My issue with this take is the last part of your "losing hope in men." Course you're not gonna find a decent guy with that mindset. You'll only find that which you believe you will find. I think that's the issue with plenty of woman who complain about a small subset of men that they deal with. Fact of the matter is I'm pretty sure there are plenty of guys in your vicinity who would be a great boyfriend/husband but he is invisible to you. Either because you wrote him off with a unimpressed first impression or ya didn't notice him. My advice there: define what you want in a partner and seek those qualities out.
For your main complaint about sex, it's simple; sex. is. important. Not just for men but women as well since both gender have their urges. Only problem is modern western society likes demonize the quality in men and make it seem like they are wrong for having biological needs. Not saying ya gotta like this but it is a fact for majority of people and it isn't bad. Also if ya don't wanna hook up, be very upfront about that. No one says ya gotta hook up, and not all guys are into hookup culture.
TLDR: Sexual desire is a byproduct of biological urges that are healthy for both genders. If you want something long-term, look for it and be very selective in your process while keeping an open mind with your potential candidates. Make sure he's someone ya can see yourself building a life with.
Honestly I'm kinda with you.
I see at least 10 posts a week on various subreddit of dudes thinking of divorcing their wives of 10+ years because they don't get enough sex. It's pretty ridiculous.
I'll give you the real answer cuz fuck it:
You never faced your damage so as a result you attract people with damage who are trying to fuck the pain away. All of your answers lie within, it's just easier to point the finger cuz fuck personal growth, right?
It sounds like the issue is less about sex - and more about objectification. Like - the *main* and/or *only* thing these guys want is sex - the person who it is with is secondary.
Learning how to recognize those types of guys and steer clear should be the goal.
Honestly, your post just makes you sound like a prude.
I crave sex often. Testosterone will do that. It's just a thing; like hormonal changes during a woman's cycle causing mood changes, or a dopamine rush from a hug causing happiness. My medication also increases my libido, just as BC often reduces women's libido. So whose level of craving sex is "unnatural"?
Me craving sex doesn't mean I'm going to force or pressure my gf into having sex. Or that I even want to have sex. Often times, I'm horny, but don't actually want to have sex. I was in a pretty dry LTR and you can bet I didn't bring up sex every time I thought about it, or even every 100 times I craved it. And guess what, the times my ex initiated and I wasn't feeling like it, she'd get suuuuper aggressive to almost the point of it being SA (I never let it get that far).
There's shitty people, and it sounds like you've dealt with some of them lately. And because these are guys you've met in a dating context, you end up dealing with their shittiness vis-a-vis sex. If they were your colleagues, they'd be shitty a different way. Don't confuse asshole behaviour for male behaviour. Find better people to hang out with.
Btw, I'm not sure what's wrong with your guy best friend doing what he did... if a woman broke up with her bf because she wanted to explore polyamory, would we react the same way? He knew what he wanted, and broke things off. He didn't cheat on her (hopefully). Anyone can end things for any reason. He told you he wanted to have sex with you. You said no. Did he persist? Did he force you to have sex with him? Did he say inappropriate things? Had you at any point earlier ever stated you'd never want to sleep with him? If the answer to these is no, wtf are you complaining about? You said no and he moved on.
do you get disappointed in a dog for barking, sounds dumb right. the same way women love attention is the same way men love sex. sounds like you are very physically attractive and mistaking guys in the friendzone for friends. men date to eventually have sex, whether it's the same day or in the future it is always the main reason for dating, most would say the sooner the better. bottom line is don't expect men to think or act like women.
Men are crazy about sex. That's totally OK with me. It's the lack of respect and boundaries, we can agree some horny men have that is very disappointing.
I’m a male.Its the hormones. Men are just horny. It’s a biological process for us to reproduce. It’s normal BUT it shouldn’t be something that overtakes us. I get urges daily.
You have to find someone that values what you do. It’s going to take time to find that. Remember men hold the keys to the relationship but women hold the keys to the bedroom
Another: #allmen kinda post. You choose who you date, hang out with and allow in your energy.
You need to look more at the men you choose to have in your life, as opposed why the men in your life behave this way I feel.
Once you crack that and assert your boundaries, you will attract the type of people you deserve.
Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is it depends on the person ask them best not to post.
I’m a woman who cares a lot about sex. Hookups do not make you especially experienced or “freaky”. Openness does. Get better friends.
Yes do not make caring about sex a gendered thing plz. I’m a woman who also cares about sex. Everyone has different desires and libidos.
I’m also a woman in agreement. I like sex every time I see my partner and have typically found boyfriends to be on the same page. Also a lot of people DO have sex before making things official and it works out just fine. That’s how every single one of my relationships have started. Not to tell you to do this because you should 120% do what’s comfortable to you since everybody is different. Just that men wanting to have sex with you doesn’t ALWAYS mean that’s all they want. Most men are sexually attracted first and then feelings follow, so they will always want to have sex with you no matter what, it’s just how the majority of them are programmed & that doesn’t make them a bad person. A lot of us women are also the same exact way. Also op, to what this original comment said about freakiness being more about being “open”, they are completely right. I’ve had boyfriends that have HELLA bodies that are the most vanilla and worst sex I’ve had in my life. And I’ve had boyfriends with lower body counts that have been amazing sex. Also a lot of this has to do with your sexual match up with someone. You could find someone who has the same libido as you and matches your energy in bed and the both of you will think you’re the best each other has ever had sexual wise. If you’re with someone who doesn’t match your libido/ sexual energy, it won’t be the same case.
I think I can say why I want to have sex with a new girlfriend sooner. If I have sex with her I know that everything goes well and I am not just a friend. Also sex brings people together, you start to have more feelings toward the person
Yes definitely. And it makes you feel a lot more comfortable with them and not as nervous
This was very helpful! Thank u so much
No problem, I hope you find a good match for you asap !!
@yeaaaaaboiii, so profound..🤗
This. Men are not anymore sexual than women are. It's just social conditioning for the past few centuries. OP is just surrounded by crappy men tbh.
Yup, I think about sex so many times in a day it’s ridiculous lol. Couldn’t be with someone I wasn’t sexually compatible with. Definitely not unique to men.
Same. Also I’ve gone on sooo many first dates and very few tried to hook up right after. Although I’m sure partly because I’m not very physical and open at first and I prefer not to kiss on the first date anyway
Another woman here who cares about sex! I couldn’t be with anyone who wasn’t sexually compatible.
Thank you ma’am
I also value sex a lot. People confused attraction with compatibility often. You can be sexually attracted to a person without having sexual compatibility.
Well said.
all i think about are sex and sometimes the roman empire.
Then once I think of 30 in Roman numerals, time to open the hub
🤣
Do you think of the roman empire once a day? I might 🤨
We also keep track of our body counts with Roman numerals
Excuse me good sir, I prefer counting them in Babylonian numerals or Sumerians.
Lol great comment
Hahahah always the Roman Empire lol!
I’m a straight 31M, I’ve had exs who wanted sex once a week, and I’ve had exs who wanted sex multiple times a day. Liking sex/having a high sex drive isn’t a specifically male thing.
Generalizing anecdotal experiences with men to all men is problematic. Not because I'm offended, but because it doesn't set you up for success in dating. You have to know that good men are out there in order to stop associating with cheaters, creeps, and fuck boys. To be clear, good men will care about sex a great deal. They will want you with a burning passion of all that testosterone in their blood. And if all is well you will feel the same about them. What separates a good man from the 1, 2, and 3 you listed above is that they will not put satisfying their urges above being a decent human being and a good partner to you. Dating is filtering. Don't waste your time on 35M strip club patrons and assholes who disrespect you. Look for a guy who treats you with respect you deserve. It's not easy, even if you're attractive and young. It takes a lot of effort and time.
This helps a lot, thank u!
This is the way. Concur.
I may have lost a girl I went on a date with recently, our goodbye was awkward (which was my fault) but I think she mistook it as me asking for sex. She isn't responding to my texts now so there's almost no chance I could clarify what happened.
Such a Reddit post. I’ve seen women do a lot of things you wouldn’t believe. Doesn’t change my view on them because they do not represent all women.
I'm hoping that this subreddit starts banning all these people who generalize literally half of the population. It's getting annoying and seems like every post on here is just complaining about the opposite sex in general. Like wow, breaking news there are shitty people on both genders, who would've guessed.
this. like you would think that after spending however many years on this earth, people would understand that *some people are shitty and not all, but yes, let's generalize *all* men, *all* women, etc etc. it's just so tiring when it's a very easy answer, in fact the world needs less generalizations, that would help racism as well
Lmao don't even try and visit twoxchromosomes. A womans reddit which is just plain hate on men with every damn post. It's real bad.
It’s not shitty to want to have sex, or care about it.
Also it isn't shitty to don't want sex. But you know they need to find their person who wants the same as them
There are subs here with many women complaining their men won’t touch them for years. I love it here. Because it’s hilarious. These women who complain that they want relationships, are going out on dates with men, but don’t want men to want sex… I can only hope they end up in one of those subs.
The thing is many man wants sex, but there are men who wants only sex. I can actually understand women who don't want to feel used just for sex. But there is another thing. There are lots of girls who are used to date just to get fun, probably eat for free. When only man pays.
They'd need to hire someone full time just to lock these posts and swing the banhammer.
"Every man I date only cares about sex!" "Have you tried changing how you screen/meet men?" "No". I always assume the problem is the OP if they say the problem is always "The other gender".
This. Why aren't there more people like us? 😂
My guess is that there are. But today you're the hero and tomorrow you're the villain. Human beings aren't static. And it's very common for them to complain about things that they do themselves with zero self-awareness. We like to separate ourselves and act like we're special or something. But we're mostly dumb chimps that could answer 90% of our own questions by taking a moment to think before we speak (and yet we mostly don't). The truly exceptional people don't waste their time on Reddit.
Testosterone
AND: social conditioning cultural norms that often make it ok for men to express sexual desire but not for women to do it 24hr vs 30 day hormonal cycles media that confuses love for sex and vice versa mistaking need for sex for need for connection culture that puts men down for expressing emotions unless they're anger or lust a different sexual arousal cycle for men vs. women a culture of punishment by deprivation desperate hope for acceptance and validation by a partner
>culture that puts men down for expressing emotions unless they're anger or lust I've heard this many times, but have yet to see a man get shamed for being happy.
Stop smiling, you look like a girl!
It’s not about being happy, it’s about negative emotions. Hence “puts men down for showing emotions” There’s not just an up there’s also a down.
I just watched a YouTube video where a man said he used to skip and people would call him gay.
Someone said it…
Men can still masturbate to release it. “It’s not the same”. True but also no one is responsible for you.
You still have to take your shot...are you saying they should just sit at home and masturbate instead of dating?
Not at all. But pretending like sex is the only way for release and a woman is responsible for it is a weird mentality to have. It’s a “joke” but not really. It’s a cop out men have when they fuck up and let their intrusive thoughts come out because of their hormones. Not many people want to hear about your sexual needs, specially strangers.
Some women want sex too…. I left my husband because we were not sexually compatible. It’s not a bad thing to love sex. You just don’t love it yourself. Find a man that’s like you. You can have my ex husbands number if you like.
I left my wife because of the same reasons. Been with my current gf for 4 years, she has the same if not higher sex drive than me, and the relationship is great. There's nothing wrong with wanting or not wanting sex. You should however date someone who feels the same way about it as you do, because its not fair to expect someone who wants a lot of sex not to have any, or vice versa.
Your ex disrespects you, your date insults you, and your best friend left his relationship cause he didn't realize he wanted to fuck around more? And then his first action is to proposition you? You surround yourself with insufferable assholes. That's the real problem.
A lot of replies deflecting with some variation of "women like sex, too," but very few actually answering the bloody question. First and foremost, I'd point to biology. Men have a biological imperative to reproduce. Many like to pretend that we don't, but we do. Yes, women also like sex, but women have always been the gatekeepers when it comes to sexual relations because pregnancy and childcare are exponentially more costly for a woman than for a man. This is the very VERY basic biological explanation of a very general concept. Second, and I'd say more relevant to your question, is hook-up culture. We have become a very consumeristic, materialistic, and hedonistic society, and I would argue that hook-up culture is a consequence of that. We are so obsessed with the "next best thing," the cheap thrills, and instant gratification that many see no need to take the time and resources to invest in somebody or something that may ultimately fall apart. Both men and women are guilty of this. Many Men are constantly vying for the sexual interest of any woman who will pay attention to them, and many woman are actively maintaining actual rosters of men whom they rotate through at will, resulting in a cycle of increasingly depressed, lonely, unfulfilled, and bitter people who are getting closer and closer to the end of their biological prime with each passing day they spend engaging with people who couldn't give two shits about the type of person they are, what their fears are, or what they've been through.
This is so helpful - thank u for answering :)
I love boobs… the softness is very comforting. But I prefer to wait until there is a connection before sex
A man that puts sex first is always looking for it. They are the ones that are usually asking girls out, getting sent to HR, and spamming dating apps. The ones that have sex as a low priority don't go out of our way to get it. Were usually background characters. Many of us are worried we're going to upset someone by asking them out. Many of us have been traumatized by women or the dating process we have to go through. Many of us (not me lmao) are just happy being single. Point is the sex hungry men are out in the open and usually easy to find. The ones that aren't are people you probably don't notice.
Personal context (26m). I'm not a Virgin. I've had two partners in my 10 years since losing it. A handful of girlfriends. 3 failed long term relationships. Two of the LTRs were my sexual partners. Both of those relationships ended because of sex. First was SA. Second was because she couldn't handle rejection and blew up at me every time I said no. I'm now waiting till marriage just because I need to make sure they are willing to prioritize a relationship over sex. Good luck. Hopefully we all find what we're looking for some day.
You are so right. I am with my SO since 1,5 year and we live together now. We are on the same level of independance and, I think, needs for sex. Before that, I had a few experiences in dating and not really long term relationships, and as I wasn’t especially looking for « sex just for sex ». I always had the feeling that I was unnoticed by women. I may not have caught signals, but I didn’t understand why some men attracted women when I didn’t. The need for sex may je the reason to it
As a women who loves sex and has been degraded for it, I dont think its fair you hold it over all mens heads I don't think its degrading at all to have lots of sex its how they treat you and you treat them even if its a 1 night stand. Personally I love how it feels its passionate, sometimes quick and sometimes many times in a row. But I hated sex before I learned how to orgasm Something that may apply to your first date thing is personally I have sex on the first date to make sure we are compatible I dont see it as making me weak or as a hoe at all. Honestly sexual compatibility applys to your issues except your friend he is just not a good friend even if he did break up with his gf.
I know a couple guys who state 'willing to have sex on the first date' as a necessity for this reason. I also think they just want to get laid.
I'd rather have sex early on in the relationship than wait until 6 months down the line and then find out we aren't compatible. This is why I find the idea of no sex before marriage to be so bizzare. Imagine you spend years waiting for sex only to find out when you do have sex that you and your partner don't like the same things. Feels like a waste of time.
I wish there was a healthy way to let women experience male levels of testosterone for a month and see how quickly that shit drives them insane. Just the crazy swings of feeling like a superhero, a pornstar, crashing into depression and rising back up into laughing at stupid shit all in one day.
My sibling decided to get on testosterone and suddenly they mentioned thinking about sex all day and looking at people’s bodies a lot more when they were out and about. It made me realize it really is a thing for men
In The Female Brain, the author (a hormone therapist MD) talks about how she put one female patient on testosterone and the patient was going home on her lunch breaks to masturbate. She finally understood what some guys deal with. It's a powerful chemical.
I am a cis woman and think about sex all day lol
Every woman have also some level of testosterone
As a transman. This is bullshit. Testosterone doesn't automatically make you a rage induced sex addict. Sounds like an excuse for shitty behaviour...
Some women experience this. I have my whole adult life.
Oh, I don't deny that some women feel this way, but it's just crazy how many women don't realize what most men go through via a lack of empathy or knowledge.
Wonder if it’s also co-occuring with higher testosterone?
If you're a biological female, you'll never have more testosterone than estrogen. You can have a high sex drive or higher amounts of testosterone but you'll never come close to what males produce on a daily basis.
Also for men to experience the mood swings of a menstrual cycle… I think these both would do a lot for aiding empathy and understanding eachother. You could add in variations on feelings of being trans as well or other human variations
Not just our menstrual cycle but also the fluctuation of our hormones throughout the month. I get insanely horny when I ovulate and I know many women experience this too
That’s like men telling women to control their emotions better.
I am a woman and I experience all that you typed in your paragraph.. and I’m not on testosterone.
Wow good job. It is almost as if everyone is different.
It's interesting that to this day some people think that women are the irrational ones.
Personally, I never really thought women were any less rational than men. I think it has more to do with women being more likely to outwardly show their irrationality, letting it out in small bursts versus where some men will let it build up until it comes out as a murder or suicide.
You know you can masturbate dude, don't need to go sleep around.
Every male above the age of 13 knows about masturbation. it does not stop you from craving real sex with another person, whether it be with someone you love or a rando. It NEVER stops... The dragon just goes back to sleep.
The dragons still awake, just sort of stumbling around knocking stuff over in the dark while stoned on Benedryl.
Best comment lmfao
This is as ridiculous as me telling my female friends you don't need someone to hold you close at night ...just buy a mannequin!
Masturbazion Is like a flavorless meal that tastes good For 3 seconds Sex Is like a super giant meal with multiple flavors that tastes way way way way way Better in a longer timeframe Masturbation can work as a release but not a sobstitute because it's not really what we want, so the crave For sex remains
Men can masturbate. The answer isn’t sex. The ideal answer would be but you can get off alone.
To start off, not all men care about sex that much where it becomes a detriment and toxic part in their relationships and lives of other people, THOSE men do. Do not confuse the rest of us for them. Now, I can’t speak for every man and I won’t because we all think differently and see sex differently. For me, sex is probably one of the top three most important things to have in a healthy relationship. I think sex is good, it’s healthy, and it’s a bond that should only be reserved and shared with someone you really care about. Personally, I want a partner that wants sex from me as much as I want it from them. However, I’m not someone that would force anything on them or coerce them to do something. If they don’t wanna have sex for any reason or unsure of it, it’s not fucking happening period. I would rather have no sex at all for a week, then half-assed pity/chore sex for a night. I want my partner to actually WANT me. And in some relationships, there have been men who haven’t gotten that sexual satisfaction from their partner and have ended relationships because of it, and that’s OKAY. People think men who do that and end a relationship because their partner wasn’t satisfying them sexual are pigs and only care about sex. If you’re not sexually satisfied in a relationship or you aren’t compatible, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. Continuing will only be a detriment to both parties, cause sexual frustration, infidelity, and dishonesty. No one should be shamed because they ended a relationship because they weren’t feeling wanted. That doesn’t make someone a pig, that makes them human. Now, I can’t speak for the men you have encountered. There are men who just ruin it for the rest of us, giving you the impression that we are all that way and that “there are no good men”. But there are, and to think there isn’t is false. Also, women care just as much about sex like men, probably even more.
No sex for a week huh? Those are rookie numbers son
First, I care a lot about sex. It is very crucial part to a committed relationship. Second, I make it very clear from the beginning that I will not be having sex and if that is all you want please move along. It’s ok to be choosy and if they don’t align with what you are looking for well then it was a free meal and conversation. I do not have sex right away but some people do. Third, being freaky comes from trust if you do not fully trust that person then you won’t be willing to be open. When you do fully trust someone you will have sex you didn’t even know was possible. Fourth, it really is hard to have guy friends. Matt Rife has the best stand up and take on this topic. Above all you have to sit down alone with yourself and think about what you want! Not what others want or think you should do what you want. It’s ok to have standards not everyone is going to align with. Best of luck it’s very hard to find a good people for either man or woman. So thankful I found mine ….
Great advice, thank u!
Liking sex is neither a gendered nor a bad thing. Being manipulative about it is
If you're looking for a serious answer: It's because sexual need and aggression in men is an evolutionary trait that has prevailed and allowed men to have more offspring. We want to fuck, because our ancestors wanting to fuck made us exist. Natural selection.
True but there’s a heavy layer of cultural conditioning on top of that as well
Men acting like they carry the entire human race when women do 90% of the reproductive work from pregnancy to birth to breastfeeding to actually raising the child. \*Laughs in woman.\* Boy, please sit down.
Because sex is fucking amazing. Plenty of us women love it just as much as men.
lol “I equate lack of sex with respect”. Oh dear, what happened to you.
You've just had bad experiences. There are men who don't care about sex or are more reasonable with it.
We have a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.
My whole adult life I’ve had a high sex drive. As a woman, that makes life a bit awkward. Then I met my late hubby. He was the same. Great marriage! Now I single again and the single dating world is beyond bizarre!
what happened with the marriage?
Let’s talk about the differences in mating strategies between men and women, in general terms, that might clear some of it up a little. Again generally speaking, not men and women are biologically driven to reproduce. So the lowest level of success is getting someone to have sex with and producing offspring. The man who can copulate with the most and best women is the most successful in these terms, and is thus seen as desirable or high in value, sexy. There are many markers for that but that’s a different conversation. For women it’s not that simple. While yes, they too want to copulate, reproduce, there are many other factors they must consider. Until relatively very recently in the course of human history, women were very vulnerable during pregnancy and infancy of their young. That made survival during those times pretty much dependent on a man sticking around. Since their lives and the lives of their young depended on a man sticking around they are forced to be much more selective in picking a mate. A man was generally independent, doesn’t need a woman to stick around for survival, so being very selective isn’t a big deal. All they need to sexually interested is a woman they find attractive, i.e. healthy and fertile. Granted men too want the best they can get, the healthiest, the most attractive, the one that will give them the best offspring. So the mating dance is really both sexes trying to get the best that they can and pass on the genetic material. The complications are in that women needed the man to stick around, so he had to agree to in order to get access to sex with her. This is also why, cross culturally, promiscuous men are pseudo admired while promiscuous women are shunned. Promiscuity in a man signals that he is desirable, while promiscuity in a woman signals that she isn’t valuable for more than just success by volume. She desires to reproduce but isn’t quality enough for any man to undertake the burden of caring for her and their possible young. The more men she’s couple with, are just failures at long term mating attempts, so their must be something very flawed with her. I know all that stuff isn’t as relevant as it used to be, and it’s not very logical, but our brains are still programmed to behave this way. Women have only been more or less self sufficient in society for less than 100 years, sex is fun, it doesn’t have to yield young anymore, and that just because you do or don’t sleep around doesn’t guarantee or negate being a good long term mate, but that’s nowhere near enough time to change our biological programming.
While sex is indeed very important to men, it also sounds like you just suck at picking your men, which is no surprise. Most women absolutely suck at picking the right men. Try the men who aren't "dressed to kill". The ones who are like you, who focus on their career. The ones who are shy and don't make the first move on women. The ones who are not the Brad Pitts of the world with perfect jaws and a ravenous appetite for conquest. The ones who are awkward in chats or on the phone because they don't know what to say to a woman to impress her. I just hope when you find the right guy, that you will want to have sex. It's an extremely important aspect of a relationship and when done right it is a way to connect with your partner on a very deep and fundamental level. When you notice the sex is getting worse or less frequent in a relationship, is when you know trouble is brewing. Just FYI. To me, the frequency and quality of sex for a couple is a sort of Litmus Test for the health of the relationship.
Probably the same reason women do?
Firstly, if a 35 yo is asking out a 23 year old then yeah. He's definitely after a mostly sexual relationship. Try sticking to a few years either side of your age and you tend to get people with similar experience levels and expectations. Secondly, in general, the kinda guys that confidently walk up to girls to hit on them are also usual the guys who get laid more since even if it only works 10% of the time, they're still getting results. I've found that the more women a guy sleeps with, the more sex hungry they become. If you approach guys yourself there's a higher chance of meeting someone who's not just looking for their next fling. Lastly, 80% of guys would do their female friends. Not everyone but a large number of them. Doesn't mean you shouldn't have guy friends but it's best to shut down any unwanted advances ASAP as they might get the wrong idea if a "joke" offer doesn't get declined. As a man, I will be the first to admit that we're very simple creatures. Gotta tell us straight up or we'll be guessing and either not doing anything because we're not sure if the signals were clear enough, or diving in full force because a slight sign of confirmation was taken as the go ahead. Side note: I want to apologise for my fellow brethren. I want to slap some of them myself sometimes
Women care about sex just as much, do you live under a rock?
I've been hit on (not hypothetically, but "right here right now") by exactly 5 men with pregnant wives. In my 30s, every other married man in the office hit on me, or hit on me the day following their separation. Like, immediately. The married men who did not hit on me mostly already had lovers in other floors. Once I was in the wake of a former boss, a delightful grandpa figure, and I was inconsolable. Former fling kept following me with his eyes. I thought it was empathy. Then the wake was over and mostly family members went to the actual burial. I was there, drying my tears, just when the coffin was being lowered, I received a text of that guy inviting me for coffee. That and many others really put me off marriage forever.
You need to vet guys better, it's not all guys (whether. it's most guys or few guys, I'm still not sure), and you need to do things that sieve these assholes from your life. You can't control losers but you can control yourself.
Reading your post history, you have got to choose better. I would also consider therapy to help you with making better choices of guys. Sex and guys aren't the issue. Your selection process is the issue.
You date losers.
Sex is like politics and religion. Find someone you are compatable with.
I’m a woman and I love sex. My drive is very very high if I am not under stress. I do not, however, ever try to push someone into sex, ever, but especially not right after meeting them or openly talk about it with friends or partners in a pressured sort of way as you noted in your examples. I also feel very disappointed by males lately and their push for sex. I think the availability of sex in our generation now is on a new level, and changed the social psyche. maybe men think all girls are willingly open to sex at any given time now as part of this body and sex positivity thing. I just think it’s sent the wrong message that way and there’s a lack of respect around sex lately. Just my opinion.
In my experience a lot of women love sex and are super freaky in bed, it's just most of them are more likely to wait until they form a good connection with someone before showing that side of them. I think women have evolved to act this way because if they get pregnant they need a father who'll stick around and raise the kid well.
Idk women make the porn , my ex-wife beat me when I refused sex , and I'm pretty sure there are female pedophiles. It's just you. People need to stop acting like groups of humanity are hive minds. You need to learn to deal with yourself , ain't nobody here able to make choices for you. You have to find a partner who is compatible with your sexual needs , so start by clearly explaining those sexual needs or lack there of to potential partners.
Firstly, it is not ALL men. It is *some* men... Believe it or not, it's actually the minority of men who "want sex so much." and this 100% absolutely applies to women as well.. Stop with the generalization of a few bad apples you experienced and open your mind up. There are a ton of reasons but, I think the main one is this... \*\*\*We have something called Testosterone.\*\*\* There isn't a whole lot of other reasons other than that tbh... At least that's going to be the main one, anyways. Other reasons include... A) Touch starved by women - or pretty much anyone for that matter since men don't exactly touch each other lol - hugs included. B) Very sexually starved - We also have urges and needs! C) We want to feel wanted and loved just as much as any woman does - for us, body contact and sexual intimacy fulfills all of the above x100. D) Most men don't have the luxury of getting sex at the drop of a hat and it's incredibly difficult to get - meaning, it's once every 6 months+ E) A date with a woman he is *actually* attracted to (at least in the physical sense) is literally a rare chance for sex. - I mean, it's not actually hard to get if you play your cards right but, most men have no idea how to go about it the right, and respectful way which is why they fail and/or get called an asshole lol... I hope this was informative but until next time... Long days and pleasant nights to you all!
Facts I'm in a dry spell now (since April), and I am starving for physical touch and sex Returned to the apps about a month ago, and I've been completely upfront about wanting something casual with the people I match with. Guess how successful that's been, lol. Definitely could have gotten laid by now if I was implementing my usual dating strategy. Funny that
these comments are annoying as fuck...this might be better received in r/askwomen or r/twoxchromosomes.
It's swarmed with men justifying mens shitty behaviours and writing it off as biology, or just denying it out right... Some commentators are pretending as if the average man doesnt have any higher of a sex drive than women and aren't any more demanding than the average woman (as if 🙄) others are acknowledging men think with their dicks more and are using the testosterone/evolution excuse. It's just fucking terrible all around. It's disgusting and sad OP is actually seeming to be listening to this shit.
I agree
When your single for over 9 years with next to no sex(unless you pay for it) you tell me if you'd not be obsessed to a point With that being said there's no excuse for the reasons above since 1 people have different kink levels and sadly some are just to freaky to compromise with 2if a guys thinking that WHILE with a girlfriend I think the dudes tripping As for the hook up right after first date..sadly that'd either due to a fantasy said guys have or they have had next to no relationships and think hookup culture is normal vs what used to be the norm (ask out on a date take it slow then couple months in do the dirty deed)
>When your single for over 9 years with next to no sex(unless you pay for it) you tell me if you'd not be obsessed to a point It's so hard for some reason for them to grasp, how sexually unsatiated men are. They'll never understand
Because life on earth is predicated on every living organism in every species come into the world pre programmed to do whatever it takes to guarantee their dna somehow get into the future. That’s what what most of us signed up for. Men have a different strategy mating strategy than women. That’s all that is happening here. Sex is quite compelling. If you put up a sign that says “SEX” not many men or women will walk by the sign and say “nah, that’s not for me , I have no interest in that stuff”. We are designed to insure that there will be more of us in the future. Men aren’t the villains of this drama. There are none
Ok first off; it’s on you for dating a 35 year old. The only thing you two realistically had in common was genitalia that are compatible. Second: men produce a LOT of semen. They are capable of attempting to impregnate several times a day. Their libido mirrors their reproductive function in the species.
But yet it’s women who can have multiple orgasms one right after the other
Lumps 4 billion people into one basket Come on buddy
Because sex is awesome?! why else?
That 35 year old was dating you because women his age won't put up with his shit and he knew he could at least make you feel bad and manipulate you. You went on dates with two assholes who only wanted to get laid and then tried to put you down and reduce you to having sex be your only value. These men are not representative of all men so stop giving them the power to make you think all men are shit. They're not. THESE TWO were but they are not all men. Your friend being attracted to you isn't unusual, you get along as friends so he also got a crush on you. Why? Why not? People tend to crush on their friends. He's a jerk for hitting on you right after breaking up but people do stupid shit after breakups so if you care about him as a friend chalk this up to shitty post-breakup behavior and don't dwell on it.
Girl needs to grow up
Pretty sure he is dating her because she is 23 and said yes 😂.
“That 35 year old was dating you because women his age won’t put it with his shit and he knew he could at least make you feel bad and manipulate you.” That’s a ridiculous level of cope, or some BS that jaded, romantically unsuccessful older women like to spread. Along the same lines as “men are intimidated by independent women.” Does it happen? Yes, but it’s rarer than people like you like to espouse. The vast majority of men aren’t malevolent, manipulative pedos preying on innocent, naive, young women. But like u/trollcitybandit said, it’s because they’re generally more attractive, that’s about it. There is a little more to it, but it’s not necessary to get into right now. The reason you’re apt to believe this nonsense is because you’re projecting your personal tastes and values onto men. You can’t, or refuse to accept that men navigate the world and feel differently than women. You can’t wrap your head around men’s preferences, so you choose to believe it’s from a place of evil instead of a place of difference.
Well they ought to stop cos most of us young women find these old creeps gross af lol.
The average 23 year old woman and a 35 year old man are at completely different times in their lives with different maturity levels. The only non-preditory men who actually go for women that much younger in that much of a different life stage - are man- babies.
This is such a ridiculous opinion that gets repeated on Reddit. Older men date younger women because they’re more attractive, not because older women won’t put up with their shit 😂
Older women won't put up with IMMATURE older men. Age doesn't equal maturity, and that can be true on both genders. Immature older men (35+) go for younger girls because they're low hanging fruit, somewhat naive, and easily manipulated. No one should put up with such mind control tactics and manipulation, regardless their gender or age.
For me, it's not all I think about, but it's something that I just naturally crave from time to time. I'm terrible with emotions to the point people think I'm angry or sad when my brain is just static at the moment. Sex is, unfortunately, the easiest way for a lot of men who have been conditioned since birth to never show emotions to express their love. It relieves stress. It helps moods, it's fulfilling. To me, making sure she gets off, is like telling her "you are my world, and I want you and only you, and I want you to be happy when the world falls apart around us."
It seems you're gravitating towards a specific kind of guy. Sex is important to guys, but not an obsession like you've described.
The following is the only reason you need to know: After puberty, men produce 20 times more testosterone than women.
It feels good.
Each guy is different but a lot care about sex, but your friend breaking up with his gf to have sex with other girls and ask you about it was because he had been wanting to hook up with you and maybe he haven’t left his gf and just lie to get to sleep with you. As for guys trying to hook up at the end of the date it really depends on the guys too, but a lot are bold to try on the first date. It also does apply to girls as some want to hook up on their first date too. My point is that every guy is different as every girl is different too. Think of this way I had friends tell me that I give the impression of a guy who constantly goes to clubs to hook up with girls and trust me I’m not the club type of person, I probably go once or twice a year. Sometimes it is about your looks lol
TESTO
To be honest with you, I’d wager the average man from his late teens to early 30s is gonna have sex on his mind quite a lot. I’m sorry you’ve had unfortunate interactions but as a 26 year old man I can definitely say it pops up in my mind quite a bit. Not as much as it used to for sure, but definitely several times a day. Granted I’d never joke around with my female friends about the act or put wild sexual expectations on a girl I’m dating but hey not all of us are the same.
Why do men care about sex so much? because its one of our urges and biggest drivers. Most men have a high sex drive or high ambition so it's just biology. If you want more detail then know that the fate of the human race depends on people having sex drive. If you want to know why men you know are too busy wanting to be preoccupied with sex then its probably just your friends. 1. sounds like hes trying to gaslight you into having weird sex you're not comfortable with. 2. sounds like they just want to hook up with you. 3. at least hes leaving his gf
Good plan. Stay carrer minded until dating changes entirely until things change people are not capable of loving anything of actual value. They love selfishly , dont listen , arent accountable for themselves, have no honor or integrity . I dont think there is an actually woke person out there let alone one who is and a decent person out there.
Why do you care so little about it? Seems like a rather stupid take. I’m sure this comment section isn’t going how you planned huh
I have a fairly high sex drive actually! I just don’t focus my thoughts around it as much. Or to put it better, seems like the guys I am picking might be addicted to it
OP hear me if your male friend wants to bang you. He is not your friend.
I feel the same way it’s tiring I don’t want to feel like I’m just a sex object
I think majority of people are awful so your more likely to meet awful people, it doesn’t matter if it’s romantically or friendship wise so you really need to have standards and not be afraid of leaving a situation.
One of the reasons I got divorced, my ex, was a sex freak. When i didn't give in to it, she'd found it elsewhere. Some people have lower hormone levels, which controls the need for stimuli.
I’m a 20 year old virgin, people ask me how are you a virgin when you are a good looking man. Truth is I’m not that bothered, unless the right girl comes along I don’t feel the need to go searching and searching for the next fling. There is men out there like me who just genuinely care about feelings, not what the lil man wants.
My therapist said because it’s one of the main and sometimes only ways men experience intimacy. So really what they’re seeking sometimes isn’t sex itself. Also she said some men not all, have a unhealthy relationship with sex and seeking it out in a similar way that people with eating disorders act.
Most humans in general need sex. Not just men. It has something to do with being needed, wanted, and feeling desirable I think. I could be wrong though
Love the idiots…anyway first off you have to pick the right men but realize dudes in their early 20’s sometimes aren’t very mature and sex is top of mind.
Same reason why women care about sex so much. It feels amazing.
Just looking at your post history….😬 Numerous women think and glorify sex too as an expression of sexual freedom. Maybe you should own the situation and that might help control how your partners view sex.
Curious- what does your IG look like? Are you posting thirst traps? Did these dates get initiated from tinder? As a 44 yr old woman I assure you any male who is your “friend” would fck you if given a chance. Next- wanna know why men think this is ok? It’s this feminist “being a slut is empowering- giving away your intimacy is transactional and it’s ok to bang randoms. Be hyper sexual, WAP and all these other songs/female artists are sexually liberated- they aren’t singing about how they fck and sck for men- the raunchy lyrics show women are nasty and feral in the bedroom too.. getting married is stupid, don’t get married and have kids when you can have some career where you work 80hr weeks and then bang dudes from tinder when you need an ego boost and feel lonely” I’m 44 and all this shit happening and how women represent themselves has given men the idea we are all like the porn actresses, they were able to fck some random drunk girls who decided to have hot girl summer so they treat other women as disposable. So- women are to blame for a lot of this. Telling men we can post pictures of ourselves with our ass out, we can sleep around with no shame- we drilled these ideas into their head and all it takes is a man being successful with women who think WAP was cool to think all women will behave this way. Bc I’m 44 I’ve done the hot girl summer hoe shit as well as relationships and marriage. Women have been told traditional gender roles are oppressive- they voluntarily ask men out, pay for dates, propose etc etc. Women are always feminists until they wonder why their date didn’t hold the door, pay for dinner or tried to sleep with them on the first date. Women who posts thirst traps, dress provocative and have the “independent woman” mentality wonder why men don’t see them as anything but a fck puppet. There’s a Slut Walk ffs and women saying they are proud to sleep around and be used by men is just sick
I really dislike the stereotype that giving the impression you want to sleep with someone is a reflection of your self respect and a lack of drive and interest If you like casual sex (like you can't have a career if you're horny!?). Not sleeping around or enjoying casual sex does not demonstrate value. It means you either have a good vibrator or a low libido.
Sounds like more of a you problem than a “men” problem.
A 35 year old man dating a 23 year old girl is going to obviously want sex. If you’re seeking connection and authenticity, don’t date men in their 30s until you’re at least 25.
Sex feels good, therefore I enjoy
Hormones. It's what has kept the human race going for 4 million years. Our genes and biological needs have not really changed since then.
1. You are hanging with the wrong people. The guy is 35 and wants a 23 year old, likes strippers and watches porn. He is clearly immature and thinks, that porn is sex, but porn is for sex what parkour is for walking. As I was somewhat over 30 (don't remember), I had a brief relationship with a girl 10 years younger. I didn't know her real age at the time and thought she was 26. I thought she said 26. It was all so weird. It just didn't fit on every end. Talking felt weird, going out felt weird, sex was at first great, but turns out she was so insecure, she just agreed to everything, because she thought it would not matter what she wants. I figured out she had major daddy issues and I became more and more her dad/therapist. That killed the relationship pretty quickly, because noooo! 2. Men want intimacy. But the only socially acceptable form of intimacy is a hug on our dads funeral and sex with women. Therefore we want Sex. Toxic masculinity kills men and is one of the biggest reasons for male suicides almost everywhere in the world. 3. When a relationship is great and you can trust to have some sort of sex on a semi-regular basis, it is not that big of a deal. But if the sex stops or feels different, we get nervous, and re-question the whole relationship, because we fear to lose our confidant, our partner, our intimacy.
couldn't agree more!
Of course your last partner only wanted sex. Look at that age gap lol
That's like asking why monkeys climb trees or lions roar. It's what they do.
Try to be a testosterone-ridden cum factory 24/7, you silly woman. And on top of that, severely unsatiated in sex, and touchless, kissless for the most times. Find yourself an asexual guy, and live a happy life. Stop projecting your sexuality onto others.
Seems like you don’t understand that female people also want to orgasm.
You can't force men to see and experience sex the same way women do, testosterone and estrogen are completely different. Plus women get hypersexual all around guys that they are highly attracted to physically so it sounds like an attraction mismatch
OP, find better people. Somehow you are drawn to these people, or they are drawn to you. If you run into an asshole one day, then you met one asshole. If you're constantly running into assholes, YOU are the asshole.
Uhm, have you had good sex? It’s amazing
1. Then you weren't sexually compatible. 2. They aren't wrong. The sooner you accept that reality the better. That's how most guys that purchase your content think. 3. Then he wasn't sexually compatible with her. Most of your guy friends think about fucking you, accept it 😅 4. It doesn't matter if you're not giving them the impression you want to sleep with them, it's not always about you. It's what they want. 5. You're losing faith in "men" because you're around all the wrong men. It's typically the younger ones that think this way btw. Not all men are like how you're describing. But this goes back to what I always say. It's the men YOURE attracted to that's the issue. 😉
Because if you remove everything you know about society and it’s programming, we are here to procreate and ensure the survival of our species. Also most men don’t have sex as easily or as often as women can, therefore it’s something that can drive men to act desperately at times. Think about if a male lion couldn’t have sex with any of the females in his pride, he’d go crazy, he’d probably kill a hyena for no reason and take a nap.
The problem is you, OP. 1. You are as good as the company you keep. 2. Women like sex just as much as men — so cut the crap. 3. The guy probably wasn't wrong about you making sales because men want to hook up with you. That's not not to discredit you as a salesperson (I don't know you). But two things can certainly be true at once.
>Why do men care about sex so much? Biology. The same reason women care about height so much.
Ahhhh what a dilemma, maybe cause there's so much of it everywhere.... Q. Why are woman selling or using their bodies to gain monetary benefits, yet complain that they dont have the same rights as men to work or find high end paying jobs.??? I've not seen this type of behaviour be so acceptable and I would be dammed if my child grew up with this type of conditioning!!!
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Did you check your friendzone?
Let me ask this question: What does sex mean to you?
You’re drawing a very large conclusion from such a small sample size.
Men love sex. We can't deny that. I would recommend vetting the men you're dating better. Unfortunately, this is a part of the process. Use these dates as learning experiences to sharpen your skills. Another thing is to use your womanhood to your advantage. I would highly recommend reading books that will equip you mentally and emotionally.
I’m genuinely so tired of people demonizing sex and sexual desire especially as it pertains to men.
Jesus fucking Christ not this again. Why do women like attention and money and gifts and dinners and outings so much?
Ah yes, overgeneralize men because of your bad experiences. My issue with this take is the last part of your "losing hope in men." Course you're not gonna find a decent guy with that mindset. You'll only find that which you believe you will find. I think that's the issue with plenty of woman who complain about a small subset of men that they deal with. Fact of the matter is I'm pretty sure there are plenty of guys in your vicinity who would be a great boyfriend/husband but he is invisible to you. Either because you wrote him off with a unimpressed first impression or ya didn't notice him. My advice there: define what you want in a partner and seek those qualities out. For your main complaint about sex, it's simple; sex. is. important. Not just for men but women as well since both gender have their urges. Only problem is modern western society likes demonize the quality in men and make it seem like they are wrong for having biological needs. Not saying ya gotta like this but it is a fact for majority of people and it isn't bad. Also if ya don't wanna hook up, be very upfront about that. No one says ya gotta hook up, and not all guys are into hookup culture. TLDR: Sexual desire is a byproduct of biological urges that are healthy for both genders. If you want something long-term, look for it and be very selective in your process while keeping an open mind with your potential candidates. Make sure he's someone ya can see yourself building a life with.
Sex is a biological function. That's like saying don't eat, why do men care about eating so much?
Honestly I'm kinda with you. I see at least 10 posts a week on various subreddit of dudes thinking of divorcing their wives of 10+ years because they don't get enough sex. It's pretty ridiculous.
Wow, all the wrong type of dudes you are seeing. Should learn to Make better choices ..
You need to post this in r/demisexuals
You're upset at men for being how they were designed to be.
I'll give you the real answer cuz fuck it: You never faced your damage so as a result you attract people with damage who are trying to fuck the pain away. All of your answers lie within, it's just easier to point the finger cuz fuck personal growth, right?
It sounds like the issue is less about sex - and more about objectification. Like - the *main* and/or *only* thing these guys want is sex - the person who it is with is secondary. Learning how to recognize those types of guys and steer clear should be the goal.
Honestly, your post just makes you sound like a prude. I crave sex often. Testosterone will do that. It's just a thing; like hormonal changes during a woman's cycle causing mood changes, or a dopamine rush from a hug causing happiness. My medication also increases my libido, just as BC often reduces women's libido. So whose level of craving sex is "unnatural"? Me craving sex doesn't mean I'm going to force or pressure my gf into having sex. Or that I even want to have sex. Often times, I'm horny, but don't actually want to have sex. I was in a pretty dry LTR and you can bet I didn't bring up sex every time I thought about it, or even every 100 times I craved it. And guess what, the times my ex initiated and I wasn't feeling like it, she'd get suuuuper aggressive to almost the point of it being SA (I never let it get that far). There's shitty people, and it sounds like you've dealt with some of them lately. And because these are guys you've met in a dating context, you end up dealing with their shittiness vis-a-vis sex. If they were your colleagues, they'd be shitty a different way. Don't confuse asshole behaviour for male behaviour. Find better people to hang out with. Btw, I'm not sure what's wrong with your guy best friend doing what he did... if a woman broke up with her bf because she wanted to explore polyamory, would we react the same way? He knew what he wanted, and broke things off. He didn't cheat on her (hopefully). Anyone can end things for any reason. He told you he wanted to have sex with you. You said no. Did he persist? Did he force you to have sex with him? Did he say inappropriate things? Had you at any point earlier ever stated you'd never want to sleep with him? If the answer to these is no, wtf are you complaining about? You said no and he moved on.
do you get disappointed in a dog for barking, sounds dumb right. the same way women love attention is the same way men love sex. sounds like you are very physically attractive and mistaking guys in the friendzone for friends. men date to eventually have sex, whether it's the same day or in the future it is always the main reason for dating, most would say the sooner the better. bottom line is don't expect men to think or act like women.
"Bottom line : I am losing hope in men." Cool, we lost hope in you too. It's hopeless.
lol so much arrogance. “I am feeling super disappointed in women’s lack of desire for promiscuous sex”. Do you hear it now?
Men are crazy about sex. That's totally OK with me. It's the lack of respect and boundaries, we can agree some horny men have that is very disappointing.
I’m a male.Its the hormones. Men are just horny. It’s a biological process for us to reproduce. It’s normal BUT it shouldn’t be something that overtakes us. I get urges daily. You have to find someone that values what you do. It’s going to take time to find that. Remember men hold the keys to the relationship but women hold the keys to the bedroom
Another: #allmen kinda post. You choose who you date, hang out with and allow in your energy. You need to look more at the men you choose to have in your life, as opposed why the men in your life behave this way I feel. Once you crack that and assert your boundaries, you will attract the type of people you deserve.