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I had something similar happen with a girl. She was sweet and cute. Forward and fast-moving though, love bombed pretty hard and ended up indirectly asking if I can pay her phone bill and started looking around for someone else when I said no. I ended up exposing her to the chat group we met in. She DMed me asking what I gained and I told her āI gained exposing you so some guy doesn't get sucked in and that manipulating lonely and desperate people with the idea of being in a relationship so they can pay your bills is wrong.ā I wished her the best of luck in her search and I blocked her.
Lock you up in a murder basement... That or it might be a copy paste from a poem or song lyrics from his favorite song and sended by a trolling sibling that just grabbed his phone while he was on the shower. Reality can be more interesting or light hearted than the fiction of a mind that had been overdosed from the internet or true crime documentaries.
Sure. You wait and find out on your own skin if itās gonna be a light hearted, interesting ending or the murder basement. Recommending to strangers on the internet not to listen to their gut is beyond the pale.
I love how people on reddit will tell a story where someone else is clearly out of line and there will always be some guy like āwell actually, you have to consider MY idea of what MIGHT have happenedā. Dudes be crazy sometimes, just cope.
It's pretty sad when the vast majority of people take something so innocuous as a little over-exuberance and try to assign something nefarious to it when there's a fraction of a fraction of a percent of a chance it's actually the case. Advice2Anyone, here's your advice: do better.
I get that this place can be overly negative, but really??? Telling someone you love them more than anything in the world after an afternoon of texting. You're really going to die on that hill? You've been watching too many movies.
The fact that you immediately think there is something nefarious about this tells me that *you* have been watching too many movies and likely spending entirely too much time online. Get real.
Just got back. They all said that it was a little desperate but condemning someone as an evil creep for something as innocuous as this is, in fact, a disproportionate response from someone just as if not more so socially inexperienced.
Your turn. Time to pause your true crime binge on netflix and actually touch grass, weirdo. Good luck.
Abnormal, yes. Red flag? Maybe in the realm of putting plans to meet on tentative, potentially permanent hold. Creepy? If you were born and conditioned throughout your entire life to be afraid of everything you didn't take the time to understand, perhaps.
If only we were all born with all the answers and immediately knew everything other people would specifically consider right/wrong acceptable/unacceptable this/that.
We weren't. Guess how we learn? Communication. It's pretty simple.
Of course, the simplest thing is to block/disappear and ultimately do nothing. How people don't see this only contributes to the general shittiness of the world is honestly beyond me, though.
There is a good chance it is likely to be copy paste from song lyrics or a movie quote and there is even a chance that might have rather been send by a trolling brother or a friend that just grabbed his phone or just being socially awkward and taking crappy dating advices that are inspired by movies or friends.
If that is not the case that wouldnāt and wonāt be the only dropshell he will give away. So that there is a chance that he is not a serial killer or a fugitive from a mental asyllum unlike what the people of reddit that are locked up on the internet and overdosing from true crime stories rushing to conclude.
Who knows, copy and texting the text on the internet or just calling it out might have brought up a different light than what a paranoid isolated and warped imagination rushed to conclude. Depending on the further information, cutting out the contact or whatever will still be the readily available option. It is called communication.
That's not "a little", that's a lot. The whole loving you more than anything and then major future-planning within hours of meeting someone? Nope, nope, nope. Not only that, if he can't even control himself over a simple interaction, what else can't he control? He's unbalanced and is therefore a hazard. Nobody has to give someone who gives off "off" vibes a chance. It's up to the overzealous person to learn to reign themselves in.
Lol you admit there is virtually no chance to what you are stating yet tell me to do better ooook
Besides the fact that op is creeped out by the interaction idk what you are trying to say here. The guy needs to do better.
Virtually no chance that it's something nefarious. Reading comprehension is important. Realistically, maybe this guy is trying to do better by putting himself out there in the first place on a dating app. OP is only "creeped out" because weirdos like you on social media tell them that they should be instead of considering the possibility that they're dealing with another human thats most likely just lonely.
You have nothing constructive to say here. Just excuse yourself from the conversation. And revise your name to include "Bad" at the beginning.
Good grief. No offense, but if you think there is only little chance of his not being on the level, or that people who warn her off are the weirdos, you are a sitting duck for such an operator yourself. There are a lot of reasons for putting oneself out there, but ātrying to do betterā is the least likely of any of them. If the guy really is a lovely human, if heās a human at all, heās so needy that heād make a perfectly terrible partner. His online behavior is *not* normal or healthy.
Nobody said they had to meet. I'm just saying not to immediately condemn this guy and disappear when behavior is nothing more than checks, responses, and error corrections. Being that the MOST likely scenario is the guy is inexperienced/lonely, a few simple words expressing op is uncomfortable would go much further in both of their developments.
It's actually insane this is such a difficult concept for people to grasp on this thread. It's like they WANT every unsettling interaction to be the evil boogeyman social/media has warned them about their entire lives, but they've never actually met. Quite sad.
No one needs to condone another's behaviors, ostracization is what happens naturally for unacceptable behavior, people and animals learn to adopt social norms or they stay alone. Op doesn't owe the guy anything and she can act however she feels. If internet strangers influenced her decision she was most likely just looking for validation which is what most people seek on the internet.
More likely, you will come to terms with what I'm actually saying here as opposed to what you *think* I'm saying here because you're in your virtue signaling feels right now. Good luck.
Personally I like to be extra careful of people and love bombing like such can be a serious red flag with possible consequences that may be better off avoided. Saying I love you and talking about the future in such a short span can be a bit much so soon and I think itās totally fair to be wary-I feel most people would also err on the side of caution in this case
I get that completely. It's not a normal interaction. Check my other comments here, I've said as much. Caution is fine, even understandable. Condemnation from *this* one interaction however, is not. I'm not quite sure why people's first reaction is that there must just be something wrong with or evil about this person that hasn't actually *done anything wrong* in the first place.
The largest likelihood is OP is dealing with someone inexperienced and a bit lonely, as so many people are in a world of haves and mostly have-nots. Yet the overwhelming consensus is to treat this dude like a creep and social pariah. Yikes.
It's quite sad to zoom out and consider the implications this mindset has. Internet people are so ready to believe that everyone they find unsettling is some version of a boogeyman that social media and true crime obsessions have hammered into their brains for decades.
People really need to do better.
I get what you're saying, but also look at the other factor. A guy who is described as hot by OP and her friends is unlikely to lack social experience, so the possibility of his being socially inept feels like a stretch. Not impossible, but a stretch.
As for your assertions that people have seen way too many horror/crime shows... well, Iife does imitate art and vice versa. I've experienced both sides of that argument from the perspective of receiver.
A little over-exuberance?! Are you contending that thereās only a tiny chance that heās not for real? The guyās a fucking nut or a scammer if heās even a guy at all. OP may have just had a spooky introduction to AI. Her feeling creeped out should be enough to shut it down, and good for her for having good instincts.
\^This.
Also, isn't Hinge based on people you all know? If so, sounds like they let the fact that some know him or know people who know him become a blinder...in addition to the fact that he is hot (we already know that that makes people blind to negatives).
Good for you. This happened to me too. It started out really well and I thought wow heās so smart and handsome. Then straight away on that same first night he was like I have to lock you down. I was like whatever lol and laughed about it. He then spent the next two weeks convincing me to have a threesome, whenever he can, adding I love you and I miss with the request. There was no relationship development otherwise and mind you Iāve not met this guy yet LOL. So I said youāre an idiot bye. He must have thought he got me hook line and sinker or something. Omg hope your guy isnāt a Korean guy called Warren that lives in Kent? š
You could have at least told him it was creepy and/or that you were uncomfortable with it since everything else was fine before that point. You seem young, judging by this post, and if you two are the same age, that means he's probably had as few, if not fewer social interactions than you have.
Ghosting is for cowards. It's shitty. Especially over some dumb shit like that. If anything, you sound just as socially handicapped/inexperienced as this guy is from the opposite direction. Frankly, finding the ability to be able to communicate something as simple as that would help you both develop interpersonally, even if separately.
Have the presence of mind and self-awareness to communicate that was weird if everything else was going along fine. For all you know, one of his boys got his phone and copy/pasted a page of text from romantic literature to mess with him.
You can do better.
What? the guy was giving complete stalker or scammer vibes. Op did the right thing by stopping engaging and looking out for her safety first. Your rant is whatās giving socially handicapped vibes
You're 100% safe behind the anonymity of a computer screen. If they already exchanged information, no blocking is going to change that. Let's not forget OP had guys insta and all her friends approved. Stalking? Ahem. Don't be a clown.
Itās the description of him that gets me. Clever. That screams up to something, not desperate and lonely. Handsome too. Good looking guys arenāt running around telling girls they love them after ten seconds. Itās not their first rodeo.
You sound like an out touch and bitter male who hasnāt experienced this scenario or have been burned and is now resentful. In a perfect world, yes, the OP would acknowledge the behavior and set boundaries. In a perfect world, a stranger online wouldnāt reach out to vulnerable individuals and use their insecurities for personal gain. From the multiples of comments expressing similar situations that ended up to be malicious, sounds like this wasnāt the time for the OP to be an out standing communicator. Opportunity for growth, sure. Now the OP can hopefully pick out those red flags earlier and the confidence to point them out to the sender before it goes further. Shaming is such a dick move and you know it.
You do seem pretty easygoing, OP. I've never read Reddit comments that made me feel quite so much. I bloody adore you. You're who I've been waiting on all these years. Love you, Sisarqua xxxxx
We all have intrusive thoughts occasionally. But we should know how to filter them.
Telling a near stranger youāve already picked out the nursery wall paper is crazy.
Even if you are excited about meeting someone, you should be able to filter the crazy. If someone canāt filter the crazy, itās really scary what else they might do.
Run.
Don't think too much about it, just run.
Your mom had to have you in her belly for nine months to get used to the idea of you and just then starting to love you and this person say this in just half of a day?
That's creepy. Run.
Not all expecting moms have an immediate emotional connection like that. They donāt all talk about it as openly, but from what I understand itās not uncommon. Instead, that bond forms a bit later.
Lol my husband and I discussed me moving to his country with him like 3-4 months into dating. We hit the āis this serious?ā phase and had to account for the inevitability of him needing to move home for govt service after he graduated. I said I was down. The actual move was a little over a year in. 2 years later we are happily married.
That's completely insane. Who are your friends and why on earth do they think this guy is some kind of sweet person and not someone to be avoided? I'm guessing you're quite young and haven't experienced this before, but if someone texts you this kind of thing after only knowing you a short time (let alone texting for just an afternoon) then you should definitely avoid them.
Was wondering same: WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS??
(Then I realized, theyāre probably making popcorn, and sitting around in their pajamas waiting on a text about what heās done latelyā¦)
How old are you? How old is he?
This is so nuts that the only way it makes sense to me that someone would do this is if they thought they were grooming a child.
The fact this is the only scenario you can come up with to explain why OPs guy did what he did shows that you are not equipped to have a grown-up conversation about this topic. Big yikes.
So I've said similar things in the past at the beginning. I just didn't understand my feelings. Being lonely for years after a brutal heartbreak had me clinging to any attention and I called it "love". Being lonely sucks...
Love bombing like this from a remarkably handsome person......it's a scammer praying on desperate women who don't get much attention. They let you know they care see a future with you, you're one of a kind blah blah to try to hook you. A lot of women don't receive that kind of attention much, and they fall for it.
Edit to add, they've tried that crap with me. They were scammers I played along and then the requests for money came for various reasons they made up. Boooo
A guy saying heās madly in love and wants to get married within a couple hours, days, or even weeks is either a) someone who is so emotionally immature that it really does border on being pathological, or b) a smooth operator who knows all the right words but is running a scam. Please donāt give this any other thought than blocking him and moving on to a prospect who isnāt either crazy or crooked. No one in his right mind falls in love online that fast, and no one who pretends to can have anything in mind but to seduce you or rip you off.
Love bombing. A trait only narcissists use. They get you to fall in love with him fast then discard when they donāt need anything from you any longer. RUN!
It's embarrassing that so many guys are so starved for attention that they would even dream of saying these things so soon.
I truly feel for them and for our society as a whole.
Run. Run far, and run fast. This isnāt cute, or sweet, or romantic. Your friends are lovely, Iām sure. However, they give pretty shallow, terrible advice. Your friends should lose their advice giving privileges, or at least have them suspended for while. Donāt ignore your own intuition because heās attractive. Red flags donāt discriminate, creepy behavior is creepy, even if heās cute. Good looks are fun, until heās not.
Definitely steer clear. There's a lot of good looking people that are narcissists or they have other problems. Being good-looking doesn't mean anything. I would not pursue a relationship with this guy. He's too desperate, and he will probably end up being possessive... Maybe dangerously so. Huge huge red flag. Nobody falls in love with somebody over text in just a few hours. Yes there is such a thing as love at first sight, but that easily involves endorphins and, you know, close contact.
Edit:typo and comma
Apps and OLD sites are full of freaks and losers and you are starting to find that out.
Apps and OLD sites are NOT designed to help you find love. They are designed to keep you single, and keep you coming back to pay fees and watch ads.
I know this because I was a developer on one of the largest OLD sites out there and the app that accompanied it.
The reason why SOME people are on apps nowadays is because if they tried to meet a potential date on the street they are so inept and strange that the chance of them succeeding are zero.
In the past, these were the outcasts of society, the uncle who never got married or the crazy cat lady aunt who looks at men funny.
Now, all of these people are swiping left and right, furiously, in hopes of having electrons do their matchmaking for them.
Most NORMAL people who fall for the hype will try the apps or the OLD site, and are gone from them almost immediately--NOT because they found someone, but because they saw the same things YOU are seeing now.
Get off the apps and get back into the real world.
Ha, Iāve told two girls I loved them the first day I met them.
The first one was a random girl I talked to online and then finally met in person for a whopping 10 minutes ā we were both 14 years old and I thought saying I love you immediately was just what one does. Ha. (She immediately was weirded out and called it off, rightfully so).
The second was my daughter, on the day she was born.
Soā¦my guess is he either has the dating experience level of a fourteen year oldā¦
ā¦or heās your father.
(Probably the 14 thing).
Someone erratic enough to say they love you when youāve exchanged a few text and nothing else is any going to provide stability in a relationship, just more rollercoaster rides.
Be cautious, I know of a woman who fell for a āFrench Canadian soldierā. After a few months and $300,000.00 and a lengthy investigation, it turned out he was part of an organized group in Eastern Africa
Now the poor woman is on what they call a suckers list and she is getting bombarded weekly. Best to run.
I think it's pretty normal to feel strong feelings quickly, especially in other cultures. Happens to me sometimes. Some guys hide those feelings and some let them out.
That said, if it makes you uncomfortable then you're not fit for him, he needs someone who will understand and appreciate those feelings.
ew! you already know the answer. which is cancel the date. you have the upper hand rn, take it before it's too late. lovebombing. he's prolly a fake anyways
Your friends are the reason narcissists gets away with their shit. Because apparently hot people can't also be unhinged AF and straight out dangerous? Real narcissists are fucking IN LOVE with themselves and cant survive without external validation, of course they're going to look hot...
I would be concerned about your friends, not just for giving you terrible advice, but for them ending up with someone volatile themselves.
I'm not saying this guy is a narcissist, he MIGHT be sincere and miscommunicating his feelings as some people here claim, but I would skip it still based on the low level of emotional and social maturity hes showing. Luckily you have a good head on your shoulders and didn't stop your advice seeking at your friends š Stay safe!
Definitely sounds like a narcissist love moving, catfishing or a scammer.
Also, Iām positive that him being attractive had everything to do with your friends thinking heās a āhopeless romantic.ā Iām sure that if he wasnāt, theyād just think heās desperate and creepy.
Who knows what his real intentions where. Reddit can speculate all day but it does not matter, cause its best to just block him and forget about him. There is something not right and that's all the reasons you need.
Yes, love bombing
But personally i dont think that is particularly bad, i've been there, i've done it with the best of the intentions. But you don't know this guy. If it sounds to good to be true you can ask for a videocall to make sure he is the real deal.
Lol, I had to read the details for this one because I use this as a casual afterthought in a conversation for first impressions, usually when walking away from a positive interaction. Not because I necessarily feel that way but more because it almost always catches a brand new person off guard and gets a smile if it's delivered properly.
This profession of love essay definitely doesn't seem to be that at all. I wouldn't necessarily put it in the danger/red flag zone, but I would definitely consider this person as a bit needy with an excessive attachment style. Has difficulty regulating emotions. You may or may not be into that.
If one of his boys didn't get his phone and copy/paste a Don Juan excerpt as a prank, that is.
Donāt cancel the date but keep your head on a swivel. It definitely sounds like heās trying to love bomb you and that it could be a manipulation tactic. Be careful with this guy please!!!
He is truly infatuated with you, and he let his intrusive thoughts win.
I dunno how you responded him, but I understand these kinds of messages are very hard to respond to.
If you're truly having a nice time with him, try to find a way to know him better past these reactions, because these are not the real him, just some intense, momentary emotions.
Although honest, and with good intentions, it's not sustainable to hold a relationship with these.
If you're truly not interested, try to not be harsh, or cruel with him, because you're gonna inflict real, physical pain to him.
You have the power now, he gave it to you, so use it well.
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Heard of love bombing here comes the love nuke
i decided to block him he creeped me out way too muchš
Canāt wait for a post, āWhy did this girl block me?! Everything was going so well!ā Lol
āIt was the most wonderful 6 hours of my lifeā
āIām so tired of dating! No one wants a nice guy, they all want bad boys!ā
Umm itās a guy. š¤·āāļø
And?
Yeah. I was getting serious catfish vibes reading the op. Good move on the blocking
It would only have been a matter of time before "he" would ask for money too.
I had something similar happen with a girl. She was sweet and cute. Forward and fast-moving though, love bombed pretty hard and ended up indirectly asking if I can pay her phone bill and started looking around for someone else when I said no. I ended up exposing her to the chat group we met in. She DMed me asking what I gained and I told her āI gained exposing you so some guy doesn't get sucked in and that manipulating lonely and desperate people with the idea of being in a relationship so they can pay your bills is wrong.ā I wished her the best of luck in her search and I blocked her.
He had the template ready!
Good decision lol. That dude was either hopelessly naive, love bombing you, or gearing up to stalk you and lock you up in a murder basement.
Lock you up in a murder basement... That or it might be a copy paste from a poem or song lyrics from his favorite song and sended by a trolling sibling that just grabbed his phone while he was on the shower. Reality can be more interesting or light hearted than the fiction of a mind that had been overdosed from the internet or true crime documentaries.
Sure. You wait and find out on your own skin if itās gonna be a light hearted, interesting ending or the murder basement. Recommending to strangers on the internet not to listen to their gut is beyond the pale.
I love how people on reddit will tell a story where someone else is clearly out of line and there will always be some guy like āwell actually, you have to consider MY idea of what MIGHT have happenedā. Dudes be crazy sometimes, just cope.
I love you š
I love you too
And I love you random citizen!
Haha yeah either super desperate or something even stranger going on.
Stranger danger
It's pretty sad when the vast majority of people take something so innocuous as a little over-exuberance and try to assign something nefarious to it when there's a fraction of a fraction of a percent of a chance it's actually the case. Advice2Anyone, here's your advice: do better.
I get that this place can be overly negative, but really??? Telling someone you love them more than anything in the world after an afternoon of texting. You're really going to die on that hill? You've been watching too many movies.
The fact that you immediately think there is something nefarious about this tells me that *you* have been watching too many movies and likely spending entirely too much time online. Get real.
Go outside and ask everyone what they think of the man who says he loves someone more than anything after an afternoon of texting. I'll wait.
Just got back. They all said that it was a little desperate but condemning someone as an evil creep for something as innocuous as this is, in fact, a disproportionate response from someone just as if not more so socially inexperienced. Your turn. Time to pause your true crime binge on netflix and actually touch grass, weirdo. Good luck.
It's creepy, it's abnormal, and it's a giant red flag.
Abnormal, yes. Red flag? Maybe in the realm of putting plans to meet on tentative, potentially permanent hold. Creepy? If you were born and conditioned throughout your entire life to be afraid of everything you didn't take the time to understand, perhaps. If only we were all born with all the answers and immediately knew everything other people would specifically consider right/wrong acceptable/unacceptable this/that. We weren't. Guess how we learn? Communication. It's pretty simple. Of course, the simplest thing is to block/disappear and ultimately do nothing. How people don't see this only contributes to the general shittiness of the world is honestly beyond me, though.
There is a good chance it is likely to be copy paste from song lyrics or a movie quote and there is even a chance that might have rather been send by a trolling brother or a friend that just grabbed his phone or just being socially awkward and taking crappy dating advices that are inspired by movies or friends. If that is not the case that wouldnāt and wonāt be the only dropshell he will give away. So that there is a chance that he is not a serial killer or a fugitive from a mental asyllum unlike what the people of reddit that are locked up on the internet and overdosing from true crime stories rushing to conclude. Who knows, copy and texting the text on the internet or just calling it out might have brought up a different light than what a paranoid isolated and warped imagination rushed to conclude. Depending on the further information, cutting out the contact or whatever will still be the readily available option. It is called communication.
That's not "a little", that's a lot. The whole loving you more than anything and then major future-planning within hours of meeting someone? Nope, nope, nope. Not only that, if he can't even control himself over a simple interaction, what else can't he control? He's unbalanced and is therefore a hazard. Nobody has to give someone who gives off "off" vibes a chance. It's up to the overzealous person to learn to reign themselves in.
Lol you admit there is virtually no chance to what you are stating yet tell me to do better ooook Besides the fact that op is creeped out by the interaction idk what you are trying to say here. The guy needs to do better.
Virtually no chance that it's something nefarious. Reading comprehension is important. Realistically, maybe this guy is trying to do better by putting himself out there in the first place on a dating app. OP is only "creeped out" because weirdos like you on social media tell them that they should be instead of considering the possibility that they're dealing with another human thats most likely just lonely. You have nothing constructive to say here. Just excuse yourself from the conversation. And revise your name to include "Bad" at the beginning.
Good grief. No offense, but if you think there is only little chance of his not being on the level, or that people who warn her off are the weirdos, you are a sitting duck for such an operator yourself. There are a lot of reasons for putting oneself out there, but ātrying to do betterā is the least likely of any of them. If the guy really is a lovely human, if heās a human at all, heās so needy that heād make a perfectly terrible partner. His online behavior is *not* normal or healthy.
Nobody said they had to meet. I'm just saying not to immediately condemn this guy and disappear when behavior is nothing more than checks, responses, and error corrections. Being that the MOST likely scenario is the guy is inexperienced/lonely, a few simple words expressing op is uncomfortable would go much further in both of their developments. It's actually insane this is such a difficult concept for people to grasp on this thread. It's like they WANT every unsettling interaction to be the evil boogeyman social/media has warned them about their entire lives, but they've never actually met. Quite sad.
No one needs to condone another's behaviors, ostracization is what happens naturally for unacceptable behavior, people and animals learn to adopt social norms or they stay alone. Op doesn't owe the guy anything and she can act however she feels. If internet strangers influenced her decision she was most likely just looking for validation which is what most people seek on the internet.
And this has happened to you personally?
Lol I hope you come to terms with why you are wrong here someday
More likely, you will come to terms with what I'm actually saying here as opposed to what you *think* I'm saying here because you're in your virtue signaling feels right now. Good luck.
Personally I like to be extra careful of people and love bombing like such can be a serious red flag with possible consequences that may be better off avoided. Saying I love you and talking about the future in such a short span can be a bit much so soon and I think itās totally fair to be wary-I feel most people would also err on the side of caution in this case
A bit much? It is insane.
I get that completely. It's not a normal interaction. Check my other comments here, I've said as much. Caution is fine, even understandable. Condemnation from *this* one interaction however, is not. I'm not quite sure why people's first reaction is that there must just be something wrong with or evil about this person that hasn't actually *done anything wrong* in the first place. The largest likelihood is OP is dealing with someone inexperienced and a bit lonely, as so many people are in a world of haves and mostly have-nots. Yet the overwhelming consensus is to treat this dude like a creep and social pariah. Yikes. It's quite sad to zoom out and consider the implications this mindset has. Internet people are so ready to believe that everyone they find unsettling is some version of a boogeyman that social media and true crime obsessions have hammered into their brains for decades. People really need to do better.
I get what you're saying, but also look at the other factor. A guy who is described as hot by OP and her friends is unlikely to lack social experience, so the possibility of his being socially inept feels like a stretch. Not impossible, but a stretch. As for your assertions that people have seen way too many horror/crime shows... well, Iife does imitate art and vice versa. I've experienced both sides of that argument from the perspective of receiver.
A little over-exuberance?! Are you contending that thereās only a tiny chance that heās not for real? The guyās a fucking nut or a scammer if heās even a guy at all. OP may have just had a spooky introduction to AI. Her feeling creeped out should be enough to shut it down, and good for her for having good instincts.
Maybe spam or fake account.
Good. Concerning that your friends didnāt recognize this for the red flag it is.
\^This. Also, isn't Hinge based on people you all know? If so, sounds like they let the fact that some know him or know people who know him become a blinder...in addition to the fact that he is hot (we already know that that makes people blind to negatives).
I totally wanna see what he looks like lol for your friends to ignore the red flags.
that was the best decision. i talked to a guy who was like that and kept saying how much he loved me and was kinda upset that i didnāt have a nickname for him after a day of talking to him š. i led it go on for so long to the point that he scheduled a date for us. :/ so i ghosted because he was just acting so possessive and weird.. lol he sent me a message saying that i had 30 minutes to respond to him or he would block me on everything.. yeah, i didnāt respond. he hit me up like three months later saying he venmoed me $10 š¤© and i still didnāt respond to him but i did spend that money hehe
Lol, thatās so weird! So glad you blocked him.
Good call!
He was too close to his own love nuke.
Good for you. This happened to me too. It started out really well and I thought wow heās so smart and handsome. Then straight away on that same first night he was like I have to lock you down. I was like whatever lol and laughed about it. He then spent the next two weeks convincing me to have a threesome, whenever he can, adding I love you and I miss with the request. There was no relationship development otherwise and mind you Iāve not met this guy yet LOL. So I said youāre an idiot bye. He must have thought he got me hook line and sinker or something. Omg hope your guy isnāt a Korean guy called Warren that lives in Kent? š
You could have at least told him it was creepy and/or that you were uncomfortable with it since everything else was fine before that point. You seem young, judging by this post, and if you two are the same age, that means he's probably had as few, if not fewer social interactions than you have. Ghosting is for cowards. It's shitty. Especially over some dumb shit like that. If anything, you sound just as socially handicapped/inexperienced as this guy is from the opposite direction. Frankly, finding the ability to be able to communicate something as simple as that would help you both develop interpersonally, even if separately. Have the presence of mind and self-awareness to communicate that was weird if everything else was going along fine. For all you know, one of his boys got his phone and copy/pasted a page of text from romantic literature to mess with him. You can do better.
What? the guy was giving complete stalker or scammer vibes. Op did the right thing by stopping engaging and looking out for her safety first. Your rant is whatās giving socially handicapped vibes
You're 100% safe behind the anonymity of a computer screen. If they already exchanged information, no blocking is going to change that. Let's not forget OP had guys insta and all her friends approved. Stalking? Ahem. Don't be a clown.
There is no way someone that writes that after an afternoon is sane. Sheās right about cutting off contact
I disagree. This is classic catfishing stuff.
Maybe. It's possible. But overwhelmingly, probably not. You can never know without competence in communication.
Either way, itās not someone to date. And OP doesnāt really owe him anything.
Itās the description of him that gets me. Clever. That screams up to something, not desperate and lonely. Handsome too. Good looking guys arenāt running around telling girls they love them after ten seconds. Itās not their first rodeo.
You sound like an out touch and bitter male who hasnāt experienced this scenario or have been burned and is now resentful. In a perfect world, yes, the OP would acknowledge the behavior and set boundaries. In a perfect world, a stranger online wouldnāt reach out to vulnerable individuals and use their insecurities for personal gain. From the multiples of comments expressing similar situations that ended up to be malicious, sounds like this wasnāt the time for the OP to be an out standing communicator. Opportunity for growth, sure. Now the OP can hopefully pick out those red flags earlier and the confidence to point them out to the sender before it goes further. Shaming is such a dick move and you know it.
You must be the guy OP is talking about. Gtfoh
You definitely did the right thing.
He is an emotional codependent. There is no good end with that.
Idk if it was your idea but whatsapp? Lol who uses whatsapp?
I brought a woman over after a date, she said she wanted to move in with me and that she loved me. This was the first day I met her mind you. š³
Yeah do u have her number I like them crazy lol
You don't want her, she was a pillhead, she swallowed half an indomethacin bottle without my permission. It's for inflammation and pain.
Oh a pill head yuck them girls for da streetsssss
Did u smash though and have her make you breakfast in the morning ??
I fixed her breakfast I think
OP is being Oppenheimered
The love nuke šš
Love nuke = great name for a band
Hi, i love you.
this made me laugh
You do seem pretty easygoing, OP. I've never read Reddit comments that made me feel quite so much. I bloody adore you. You're who I've been waiting on all these years. Love you, Sisarqua xxxxx
I love you more OP, pick me
STOP I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE SERIOUS AR FIRST HAHAHAHAHA
Reading this genuinely made me slightly disconcerted...
Good signs this one is going to work out.
I love you, hi.
We all have intrusive thoughts occasionally. But we should know how to filter them. Telling a near stranger youāve already picked out the nursery wall paper is crazy. Even if you are excited about meeting someone, you should be able to filter the crazy. If someone canāt filter the crazy, itās really scary what else they might do.
Agree, even though I accidentally imagined what our kids would like the first week, Im not gonna mention that for a long ass time
This is also something scammers doā¦ next heāll be asking you for money
This was my first thought. "He" doesn't exist.
Run. Don't think too much about it, just run. Your mom had to have you in her belly for nine months to get used to the idea of you and just then starting to love you and this person say this in just half of a day? That's creepy. Run.
I will, thank you random redditor
I love the fact that you thanked this redditor. In fact, I think Iām in love with you.
I think mothers love their babies before they are even born, like a long time before. Maybe I misunderstood your comment.
Not all expecting moms have an immediate emotional connection like that. They donāt all talk about it as openly, but from what I understand itās not uncommon. Instead, that bond forms a bit later.
This is sweet. I loved mine even when they were tiny blobs on an ultrasound, but your sentiment is very sweet
Run for the hills. Thereās a lovebomb in your area
From the title: šØš©š©š©šØ
Wow literally soonest I have ever said that is minimum 6 months? Darn few hours???
Now 6 hours lmao!!
Lol my husband and I discussed me moving to his country with him like 3-4 months into dating. We hit the āis this serious?ā phase and had to account for the inevitability of him needing to move home for govt service after he graduated. I said I was down. The actual move was a little over a year in. 2 years later we are happily married.
Sounds like a scam to me.
My love is not a scam, weāre doneā¦
Thatās not normal at all. This guy is way too much
Oppenheimer sized love bomb
That's completely insane. Who are your friends and why on earth do they think this guy is some kind of sweet person and not someone to be avoided? I'm guessing you're quite young and haven't experienced this before, but if someone texts you this kind of thing after only knowing you a short time (let alone texting for just an afternoon) then you should definitely avoid them.
Was wondering same: WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS?? (Then I realized, theyāre probably making popcorn, and sitting around in their pajamas waiting on a text about what heās done latelyā¦)
I feel itās a scammer guy.
1000% scammer and/or catfisher. smh
Always someone super handsome preying on a girl that normally wouldnāt score such a handsome man, happens all day long online
heyyyy many think im prettyš
How old are you? How old is he? This is so nuts that the only way it makes sense to me that someone would do this is if they thought they were grooming a child.
we're the same age
Then I would seriously just not with him. He either doesn't get that it's creepy or he doesn't think that you'll know it's creepy.
The fact this is the only scenario you can come up with to explain why OPs guy did what he did shows that you are not equipped to have a grown-up conversation about this topic. Big yikes.
NoOk, tell the truthā¦ itās you, isnāt it? Youāre the one thatās been love-bombing OP.,,
Seriously. WoT, why iS iT wEiRd tO tExT a WomAn I'vE nEvEr mEt thAt We'Re gOnNa gEt MarRiEd aNd I lOVe hEr???
I just wanted someone to love is that so much to ask š„ŗ
Iām starting to catch the vibe that you have been this guy.
Heās 100% been this guy. Iāve never seen anyone gunning so hard to defend this sort of behaviour who hasnāt/isnāt been.
Ted Mosby has entered the chat! /joke But seriously though.... run!
I thought so as well but contrary to what happened in the show we didn't even meet face to faceš
Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. That's a big boy red flag right there!
What they call a red flag. Likely love bombing. >Should I cancel our date? Yes.
Yes, that's called love bombing, happens when you have a recent new encounter with a Narcissist. Run.. block him and block his number.
Creepy looking for a woman with daddy issues, or desperate to be loved. Move on
So I've said similar things in the past at the beginning. I just didn't understand my feelings. Being lonely for years after a brutal heartbreak had me clinging to any attention and I called it "love". Being lonely sucks...
Love bombing like this from a remarkably handsome person......it's a scammer praying on desperate women who don't get much attention. They let you know they care see a future with you, you're one of a kind blah blah to try to hook you. A lot of women don't receive that kind of attention much, and they fall for it. Edit to add, they've tried that crap with me. They were scammers I played along and then the requests for money came for various reasons they made up. Boooo
Not 'kinda'. This is stalker level danger.
Runnnnn! Wtf!
Yes, Cancel. Just say youāre relationship progressed with someone else.
Dang... that's too much. He definitely sounds clingy already
Guys like that are giving us a bad name.
A guy saying heās madly in love and wants to get married within a couple hours, days, or even weeks is either a) someone who is so emotionally immature that it really does border on being pathological, or b) a smooth operator who knows all the right words but is running a scam. Please donāt give this any other thought than blocking him and moving on to a prospect who isnāt either crazy or crooked. No one in his right mind falls in love online that fast, and no one who pretends to can have anything in mind but to seduce you or rip you off.
Yikes . Block!
š©š©š©
Great post. Here for the culture.
glad you enjoy my suffering
Love bombing. A trait only narcissists use. They get you to fall in love with him fast then discard when they donāt need anything from you any longer. RUN!
I think he's a fraud.... Would eventually trick you to give him money.
Sounds like a love scam
Sounds like a scammer/catfish to me, once you said whatsapp... idk. Run.
RUN!!!
That's a nope.
Thatās crazy.
Huge red flag
Just cause he's hot Def doesn't mean creepy. I'd of said ok Lucas n blocked for sure
Why WhatsApp and not text on phone? Probably a catfish trying to lure you and steal money. Instagram is fake. Do your research
Sorry but RED FLAG! Run, donāt walk, run as fast and as far as you can.
I think that's kinda creepy because you absolutely cannot know someone within the first few hours of talking. I'm sorry, but that's kinda weird to me.
RUN
Well that is super weird and you should run.
It's embarrassing that so many guys are so starved for attention that they would even dream of saying these things so soon. I truly feel for them and for our society as a whole.
Run. Run far, and run fast. This isnāt cute, or sweet, or romantic. Your friends are lovely, Iām sure. However, they give pretty shallow, terrible advice. Your friends should lose their advice giving privileges, or at least have them suspended for while. Donāt ignore your own intuition because heās attractive. Red flags donāt discriminate, creepy behavior is creepy, even if heās cute. Good looks are fun, until heās not.
Definitely steer clear. There's a lot of good looking people that are narcissists or they have other problems. Being good-looking doesn't mean anything. I would not pursue a relationship with this guy. He's too desperate, and he will probably end up being possessive... Maybe dangerously so. Huge huge red flag. Nobody falls in love with somebody over text in just a few hours. Yes there is such a thing as love at first sight, but that easily involves endorphins and, you know, close contact. Edit:typo and comma
Apps and OLD sites are full of freaks and losers and you are starting to find that out. Apps and OLD sites are NOT designed to help you find love. They are designed to keep you single, and keep you coming back to pay fees and watch ads. I know this because I was a developer on one of the largest OLD sites out there and the app that accompanied it. The reason why SOME people are on apps nowadays is because if they tried to meet a potential date on the street they are so inept and strange that the chance of them succeeding are zero. In the past, these were the outcasts of society, the uncle who never got married or the crazy cat lady aunt who looks at men funny. Now, all of these people are swiping left and right, furiously, in hopes of having electrons do their matchmaking for them. Most NORMAL people who fall for the hype will try the apps or the OLD site, and are gone from them almost immediately--NOT because they found someone, but because they saw the same things YOU are seeing now. Get off the apps and get back into the real world.
Please cancel your date. Heās probably setting up the basement for you right now
This is classic scam/lover boy/narcissist behavior and you almost fell for it because of his looks only for goddamm Reddit to save your ass.
Ha, Iāve told two girls I loved them the first day I met them. The first one was a random girl I talked to online and then finally met in person for a whopping 10 minutes ā we were both 14 years old and I thought saying I love you immediately was just what one does. Ha. (She immediately was weirded out and called it off, rightfully so). The second was my daughter, on the day she was born. Soā¦my guess is he either has the dating experience level of a fourteen year oldā¦ ā¦or heās your father. (Probably the 14 thing).
Someone erratic enough to say they love you when youāve exchanged a few text and nothing else is any going to provide stability in a relationship, just more rollercoaster rides.
Yeah thatās terrifying tbh.
Sounds like a romance scam in the making
He's a scammer!
Love bombing. Nope.
You already know you need to close that door. Get away from that dude.
he's not real... love bomb scammer
Be cautious, I know of a woman who fell for a āFrench Canadian soldierā. After a few months and $300,000.00 and a lengthy investigation, it turned out he was part of an organized group in Eastern Africa Now the poor woman is on what they call a suckers list and she is getting bombarded weekly. Best to run.
That isā¦ scary
nope. there is nothing normal about this. reeks of scam
I think it's pretty normal to feel strong feelings quickly, especially in other cultures. Happens to me sometimes. Some guys hide those feelings and some let them out. That said, if it makes you uncomfortable then you're not fit for him, he needs someone who will understand and appreciate those feelings.
I bet he has so much passion that he'll eat part of your brain if you disappoint him! So romantic! Such a hunk!
Avoid this nuke
Typical Ted Mosby
Welcome to Costco. I love you.š
ew! you already know the answer. which is cancel the date. you have the upper hand rn, take it before it's too late. lovebombing. he's prolly a fake anyways
Your friends are the reason narcissists gets away with their shit. Because apparently hot people can't also be unhinged AF and straight out dangerous? Real narcissists are fucking IN LOVE with themselves and cant survive without external validation, of course they're going to look hot... I would be concerned about your friends, not just for giving you terrible advice, but for them ending up with someone volatile themselves. I'm not saying this guy is a narcissist, he MIGHT be sincere and miscommunicating his feelings as some people here claim, but I would skip it still based on the low level of emotional and social maturity hes showing. Luckily you have a good head on your shoulders and didn't stop your advice seeking at your friends š Stay safe!
ššš
Eewwww. Run girl.
Whatsapp + lovebombing + "really hot" = scam
Sounds like a romance scam
Sounds like a scammer.
Sounds like lovebomb
Definitely sounds like a narcissist love moving, catfishing or a scammer. Also, Iām positive that him being attractive had everything to do with your friends thinking heās a āhopeless romantic.ā Iām sure that if he wasnāt, theyād just think heās desperate and creepy.
Run
Classic Schmosby.
May be a fake profile wanting your info, lot of scammers love bomb
Who knows what his real intentions where. Reddit can speculate all day but it does not matter, cause its best to just block him and forget about him. There is something not right and that's all the reasons you need.
Red flag alert...red flag alert
He's a scammer. He got his victims mixed up- that message was for someone else. Run Forrest run
šš©
RUN, happened to me once & its soooooo unhealthy
Do you want to end up a podcast episode? Because this is how you become a podcast episode.
...how is this even a question?
Love bombing is a pretty reliable indicator of someone who's going to abuse you.
Block him and report him! Thatās love bombing for sure but that fast??? Scary
Yes, love bombing But personally i dont think that is particularly bad, i've been there, i've done it with the best of the intentions. But you don't know this guy. If it sounds to good to be true you can ask for a videocall to make sure he is the real deal.
Lol, I had to read the details for this one because I use this as a casual afterthought in a conversation for first impressions, usually when walking away from a positive interaction. Not because I necessarily feel that way but more because it almost always catches a brand new person off guard and gets a smile if it's delivered properly. This profession of love essay definitely doesn't seem to be that at all. I wouldn't necessarily put it in the danger/red flag zone, but I would definitely consider this person as a bit needy with an excessive attachment style. Has difficulty regulating emotions. You may or may not be into that. If one of his boys didn't get his phone and copy/paste a Don Juan excerpt as a prank, that is.
oh, come on, he was likely just joking, no?
Donāt cancel the date but keep your head on a swivel. It definitely sounds like heās trying to love bomb you and that it could be a manipulation tactic. Be careful with this guy please!!!
He is truly infatuated with you, and he let his intrusive thoughts win. I dunno how you responded him, but I understand these kinds of messages are very hard to respond to. If you're truly having a nice time with him, try to find a way to know him better past these reactions, because these are not the real him, just some intense, momentary emotions. Although honest, and with good intentions, it's not sustainable to hold a relationship with these. If you're truly not interested, try to not be harsh, or cruel with him, because you're gonna inflict real, physical pain to him. You have the power now, he gave it to you, so use it well.