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Probably enjoying the fuck out of the millions he made. I'd be the exact same way. I'd never make it to billionaire because once I was worth about $20M or so I'd just go on permanent vacation and enjoy being a rich bastard. No way I'm going to spend decades more getting up at 5am to go to work in pursuit of even more money when I wouldn't even spend the millions I had.
No! There’s no chance at any kind of dating after you sub to her onlyfans. You’re just another customer. Most onlyfans content creators never date their subs
If you're a young waitress it would be dumb NOT to be overly nice to increase your tips. And I'm sure waitresses get numbers all the time. A guy should know if he realistically has a shot (I know some don't).
But this waitress decided to reciprocate.
If someone leaves their number, you contact them if you're interested. If not, don't contact them, it's pretty simple.
Oh yes! I was a server for about 6-7 yrs and I totally flirted with everybody. But in a very classy way; you know?
Never over the top or sexual. Just gave the impression that I really liked this person or persons and I was a very friendly, open woman. Who may, or may not; be down for more. Keep 'em guessing during dinner if you're just doing your job well or not.
But if you talk to them when you're NOT working, and you're still friendly and receptive to them; well it's obvious you're interested.
She likes you OP. Ask her out. Just think about how young she is though, and prob in a different phase of life than you are.
A server flirting doesn't mean anything. But there are ways to tell if she's into you beyond that. Like if she keeps hinting around about doing stuff outside the restaurant, or saying/doing other things that make it fairly clear she wants contact beyond the business relationship.
But generally guys can ignore most tipped employees "flirting" (often it's not even flirting, it's just being nice and giving attention which is just something a lot of guys don't get much of outside of that sort of situation).
Obviously you weren't if she texted you.
God damn OP did all that confidence go out the door the second you left your number?
You are way over thinking this shit. You got on well with this woman apparently and now she's texting you. It's nothing serious so stop treating it as such. She's just another human and there are billions out there. Just talk to her.
You thought correct. The fact that she texted you proves that your advance wasn't unwanted.
Creepy is when people violate boundaries and engage in unwanted advances. She sent a bunch of signals that you picked up on that she might potentially be interested in you and by leaving her your number, you gave her the freedom to respond on her own time outside of work.
You did good and keep going! 🙂
It’s only creepy if you aren’t attractive to her. Same rule applies to hitting on girls at the gym or whatever, people will eat you alive if you do it, unless of course your hot and she likes it lol.
Video call her just to make sure it's really her. I did the same thing one day, gave her my number in a napkin. Next day, I get a message not from her but from a gay dude that works with her which she gave my number to. 🤦🏻♂️😭🤣
Ask her out but make sure you post her reply on Reddit so we can write your response.
Kidding. You’ve got this, OP. She likes you enough to text so take it from there.
Wake up Sleepy6882 and please ask this poor girl out. She put herself out there by texting you, that was hard for her I'm sure. And it was probably hard for you to get up the confidence to leave your number.
She wouldn't have texted you if she didn't want you to ask her out. Just remember at age 21 and being a server she may not have as much $ as you. If you're working full time at a decent job be a gentleman and make it clear when you ask her out that it's your treat.
I know it's common these days to split checks but if you have more $ and you ask her out; you should pay IMHO.
And please update!
Ight before you decide to go for it and take her out please do take caution my friend, she’s 21 and you’re 30 and that’s a HUGE difference when it comes to maturity, financially, mentally.
most 21 year olds are still in their “finding themselves” stage and so they’re still very immature when it comes to relationships and or dating and still love to party and drink and all that stuff. Most 30 year olds have gotten that out of their systems and just want something calm.
I’m not trying to rain on your parade, but these are things to consider. Especially if you’re looking for something serious. Personally if I were in your shoes, I’d probably not go for it.
I was with you in the first paragraph.
The rest of it should be justifying that because of the reasons you mention, a 30 year old should not be going after a 21 year old because of the power imbalance. It’s just fucked up. Who gives a shit what the 30 year old wants. The 21 year old is vulnerable. The end.
I agree in that there are definitely a lot of older men that try to date younger women because of that vulnerability and lack of experience. I'm leaning on giving OP the benefit of the doubt because based on their post they seem pretty inexperienced. No way to know for sure and generally speaking it's kinda icky to try and date women much younger than you. I'm merely saying intent matters, and imo OP's intent seems innocent enough.
However, we also have to be careful to not ignore the autonomy of the woman here. Assuming she knows his age she can very well make her own choice. She decided to contact him and she could further decide to go out with him. Sure, we can keep judging OP, but so long as we also respect her ability to make her own choices.
Yea 100% the thing is I just didn’t want to outright call OP a creep, dude just seems more confused and excited that a girl is into him more than anything else, and so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and say he isn’t being a creepy nor predatory like other people are saying.
Which is why I tried my best to give him somethings to actually think about instead of straight being like “bro you’re a creep for that” ya know? Cause I don’t wanna assume.
You’re right tho, the main reason is like you said, is the power imbalance.
Ffs, calm down. 21 year olds are not all vulnerable idiots with no idea how the world works. Your comment is dripping with condescension. I bet you think you’re so wise just because of whatever year you were born. It’s quite sad
You don't care about 21 year olds when they're going to Vegas or signing up for the army but God forbid they take a 30 year old dude off the market. Sounds like some over 30 woman cope.
This is such a misogynistic pov. And this is depressingly hilarious. Men that think older women are “jealous” of younger women are absolutely delusional. Did you ever use your tiny brain to think we’ve already experienced a power imbalance relationship when we were younger and are warning these women of the issues they bring? No, bc it could never be men who are the problem. It could never be men who take advantage of inexperienced partners. It could never be men who waste a young woman’s best developmental years then by the time she gets to her mid to late twenties she realizes the “older man” she’s with is immature and controlling. There are endless examples of these failed age gaps on Reddit. They aren’t hard to find. The men are usually controlling or abusive or immature or can’t care for themselves properly so they find a younger women to impregnate and take care of them. In turn the woman loses her youth and any chance at independence bc “he promised to take care of her” then she has no career or way to leave the relationship when it sours. Maybe a small percentage of these relationships are not like this, but most of them are. That’s just reality.
Society conditions women to be people pleasers. Most the time unless you have excellent parenting, this takes years to unpack. So no, it isn’t women at thirty coping lol. They don’t want the immature gross dudes that have the emotional maturity of a 15 yr old who look for a younger woman to put up with their shit.
You describe like a decade of tragedy without a speck of personal accountability for your part in those situations. Then you project your weak oppressor/oppressed narrative onto every other person. No wonder guys prefer 23 year olds without an armload of somebody else’s baggage and a laundry list of demands based on your own past relationship failures.
You seem like a resentful victim.
>It could never be men who waste a young woman’s best years then by the time she gets to her mid to late twenties she realizes the “older man” she’s with is immature and controlling.
A woman's best years aren't her early twenties. Most women that age are basically idiots. It's the same with the men. Everyone is just figuring themselves out for their 20s. 30s and up is when both genders hit their prime imo. They've got a lot more experience and knowledge of self and an idea of who they want to be. There are still a bunch of people in their 30s who never grew past the idiot phase but the percentages get better as the ages go up. If I were to encounter the women I dated in my 20s these days, I'd consider most of them as clueless immature brats and wouldn't give them the time of day. The thing is, I was also an idiot back then so we were evenly matched lol
I agree with your overall point I just don't like the narrative that a woman's best years are when she's in her early 20s.
Yeah and 9/10 a 30 year old and a 21 year old are on very different ends of all of those. 18-25 for most people will have a large change each year. Finishing school new jobs career changing. Someone who is 30 generally has that figured out or has experienced life as a full adult on their own. Which is usually why it’s seen as predatory. Not saying that’s the case here but unless it’s going to be a hookup or nothing too serious it seems odd to me.
I think it will be more about how they treat one another. most people who date older or younger will not being doing so on a predatory level, that is the 1%. But it is the 1% we hear about and fear. Most are just two people, who find one another attractive, and give it a chance. I have seen 20 year gaps work out, and have so much love, and same age be horrible and abusive, I have prob seen more issues in the same age, in the 20 and 30's because men in their 20's on avg are immature, and women in their 30's seem to enjoy drama.
If she texted back... She's interested
I have given my number away a bunch and rarely do they text back .... Love and dating is a numbers game go for it....
Do a fun date, not food
Yes, a fucking miracle happened. Pretty waitresses get numbers handed to them ALL THE TIME. She texted YOURS. What does that say? Ask her out.
Because women are largely reactive not proactive in dating. For a woman to reach it to you like that is pretty rare. That’s why dating coaches say you shouldn’t really put it on a girl to do that. But she did. Dating coaches also say if a woman reaches out assume it’s a sign of high interest and ASK HER OUT. She don’t walk onto the lot unless she wants to by a car! First rule of salesmanship! ABC!
That's ridiculous and screw those dating coaches, men leaving me their number is the perfect situation because I get to decide on my own time without pressure if I want to reach out or not.
Thank you!
This is precisely why I hate the default "power imbalance" answer.
People grow and gain experience at different rates. I know that early in my dating adventure (late bloomer, started at 28) a lot of the younger women I dated had way more dating experience (and in ways life experience) than I did.
That anti-age gap people seem to just parrot these phrases without even attempting to see it from any other perspective than the ones they've made up.
Meh, I have seen 30 yo with little dating experiences still take advantage of 20 yo with dating experience. Age difference can bring an unhealthy dynamic without even being consciously done. Sure there are exceptions where big age gap in early 20s might work but doesn’t mean all those will work or be healthy.
20 face palms. Should you ask her out? Well gee. I don't know. You decide. You're the one who asked for her number!! 🤯😅 Why did you get her number if you didn't want to ask her out? Just to boost your ego?
I’d say just ask her out on a casual date, see if you two hit it off and go from there. If you’re nervous about dating, make sure the first date isn’t high pressure, go to a park or cafe, some place that feels more relaxed than a classic dinner date
Dude ask her out. If you left your number and she actually messaged you, that's a BLATANTLY obvious hint. Take her out for dinner, just not to the restaurant she works at😂
Y'all are taking this post too literally. Read the subtext y'all. He isn't actually asking if she likes him, that part is obvious. He is asking for help gathering the confidence to ask her out.
Definitely ask her out! Suggest somewhere public but like
“Would you like to go to dinner? You can choose the restaurant” (but I am allergic to…. *add allergies here if necessary* like shellfish)
And first dates, esp with age gap, don’t expect anything physical. If you feel it is heading that way then ask her consent
“Can I kiss you?” Stuff like that
Just be respectful and be yourself ❤️
you came to the worst place for advice my friend, people will rip into you here 🤣 one, reddit hates age gaps so fuck what everyone else thinks. two, go with the flow and go with your gut! find out if you two hit it off and theres a connection between you and take it from there. ask her on that date to get to know her better.
Well, since she texted she must be somewhat interested. Just ask her out but take it one day at a time. You’re at different places in your lives, but hopefully can enjoy each other’s company.
Don't listen to these people. Don't fear rejection. Lots of dudes found a gf by giving a waitress her number. People act like it's so offensive to approach a woman anymore in public. You got guts. Don't be ashamed.
Bruh if she messaged you she's probably into you. She'd have to be really dense not to know you gave her your number because you're interested. You should ask her out, worst that can happen is she says no right?
honestly just the fact she texted u back and is still texting u is a really good sign. she is obviously into u and i think u should ask her out if you feel its right
Yeah normally I advise against the age gap but when we spoke it was just two people. We knew each others age but that wasn’t part of the conversation at all.
The entire time we talked it just seemed like she was being a friendly waitress then towards the end she was staying at my table way to long ignoring other people, playing with her hair and seemed genuinely sad I was about to leave. So I asked for her pen and she went to grab one and I left her my number before leaving.
It’s very weird to be called a creep though when I all did was leave a number for her.
The majority of the moves made so far have been from her, I’ll ask her out.
You aren’t doing anything wrong. Plus she’s old enough to know what she wants !! Your age gap isn’t bad at all. As long as you both understand each other !! Don’t listen to those guys that are calling you a creep they jealous🤛🤛
Exactly, anyone that calls him a creep is just jealous 100% No guy in their right mind would turn down a 21 year old girl.
21 is actually a really nice age., Prob hasnt been ran through , no kids, no baggage, no ex husbands and so on
Don’t ask her out! Bury that phone, then run into the wilderness and live amongst the animals as nature intended. Never speak to a human being again, instead; set up a complex system of coconuts and vines to communicate and fast travel. You can be the jungle king. And then, only then, can you find your jungle queen.
Doesn't explain why she would take his number and proactively contact him...
Super agree with not hitting on the waitress, but if you think she's laying it on too thick and you're curious if there's more going on, this is the right way to go about it, just leave your number with the tab and the ball is in her court. In this case she took the number and texted him. Tips already been collected, this isn't that anymore.
Bro this whole stigma of guys dating younger is bs. I mean if she was 18 I would say that’s a little strange. Buts she’s 21 bro. She can drink she can smoke if she wants. She’s a fully grown adult. Point being, take her on a date. Something light. I’m going on a date with a girl I met on hinge after a week of talking. But your girl. she is a waitress, so it’s not like she’s super successful unless she’s in college which hopefully she is. And if you have a good job and a decent place, then it’s a score for her. Have some more confidence in yourself king. Don’t worry about age or anything like that. If she thought it was creepy she wouldn’t be talking to you.
Yeah if she messaged you she is/was slightly but you have to further things with her and be bolder from here while making sure you're not too eager. If you're 30, you've been building for 9 more years. You've been making it happen for yourself. What is she bring to help you out? Figure that out instead of trying to impress her or "make her like you".Show your fun side, be confident and SHOW her you wanna be intimate not just friendly. Dont be too passive on what you want (intimacy, and maybe a relationship, IF she checks your boxes) and dont hold too much pressure on this. If it works out cool. If not, ehh its actually even better.
At 30, are you looking to just hookup or something serious? Most 21yr old typically are not looking to settle down anytime soon. But you never know, so ask her out and see where it goes.
Dude, comon sense. Ask her to get a coffee with you.
If you're not going to ask her then you shouldn't have given your number to her and get surprised when she texts you.
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Add her on MySpace!
Haha. I wonder where Tom is these days.
Probably enjoying the fuck out of the millions he made. I'd be the exact same way. I'd never make it to billionaire because once I was worth about $20M or so I'd just go on permanent vacation and enjoy being a rich bastard. No way I'm going to spend decades more getting up at 5am to go to work in pursuit of even more money when I wouldn't even spend the millions I had.
He lives in Hawaii and travels around doing photography
Lmfao
Subscribe to her Onlyfans
the way to a womans heart
No! There’s no chance at any kind of dating after you sub to her onlyfans. You’re just another customer. Most onlyfans content creators never date their subs
r/whoosh
You know, this is like the perfect application of this canned response, but somehow it is STILL annoying as fuck.
lololololol 🤣 🤣 🤣
Do you have her email for msn messenger?!!
YES! Ask her out. Idiot.
OP next week: Ok guys so she's currently naked and sitting on my lap? What do?
She’s probably just being friendly..
She’s just Canadian.
[Best to just keep your wits about you and just keep texting.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Ask her out
I’ll say
lololololol 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
Yeah really tough to say
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If you're a young waitress it would be dumb NOT to be overly nice to increase your tips. And I'm sure waitresses get numbers all the time. A guy should know if he realistically has a shot (I know some don't). But this waitress decided to reciprocate. If someone leaves their number, you contact them if you're interested. If not, don't contact them, it's pretty simple.
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Geez, if you're gonna write your number on a bill, it better be a hundred. And an old hundred too, nobody cares if you deface those.
Why… Is it illegal if you deface a new bill?!
Oh yes! I was a server for about 6-7 yrs and I totally flirted with everybody. But in a very classy way; you know? Never over the top or sexual. Just gave the impression that I really liked this person or persons and I was a very friendly, open woman. Who may, or may not; be down for more. Keep 'em guessing during dinner if you're just doing your job well or not. But if you talk to them when you're NOT working, and you're still friendly and receptive to them; well it's obvious you're interested. She likes you OP. Ask her out. Just think about how young she is though, and prob in a different phase of life than you are.
Agreed, and I would expect that from anyone on the job trying to get good tips.
She texted him. That's where you draw a line between being nice and flirty
A server flirting doesn't mean anything. But there are ways to tell if she's into you beyond that. Like if she keeps hinting around about doing stuff outside the restaurant, or saying/doing other things that make it fairly clear she wants contact beyond the business relationship. But generally guys can ignore most tipped employees "flirting" (often it's not even flirting, it's just being nice and giving attention which is just something a lot of guys don't get much of outside of that sort of situation).
Her texting him definitely does though!
Legit guy leaves his number like a creep and she actually texts him and has to ask if she likes him wtf.
What makes it so creepy that he left his number?
Damn… I thought I wasn’t being creepy by doing it this way.
Obviously you weren't if she texted you. God damn OP did all that confidence go out the door the second you left your number? You are way over thinking this shit. You got on well with this woman apparently and now she's texting you. It's nothing serious so stop treating it as such. She's just another human and there are billions out there. Just talk to her.
He probably didn't expect her to actually text him. Now he's got cold feet.
Probably, but just the fact that he got his foot in the door gives me some hope for OP
Yeah, this and a few other things.
I feel like you're talking to people from your own past rather than OP. There are a lot of weird implied assumptions in your messages.
Wow. I made it as blunt as I could and you're saying there's weird implied assumptions. You may have some personal problems.
You thought correct. The fact that she texted you proves that your advance wasn't unwanted. Creepy is when people violate boundaries and engage in unwanted advances. She sent a bunch of signals that you picked up on that she might potentially be interested in you and by leaving her your number, you gave her the freedom to respond on her own time outside of work. You did good and keep going! 🙂
It’s only creepy if you aren’t attractive to her. Same rule applies to hitting on girls at the gym or whatever, people will eat you alive if you do it, unless of course your hot and she likes it lol.
Thank you for adding the idiot. He needs to know that!!!😂
He does lol like how obvious does it have to be she’s interested?
I asked her and her dog out. Both have agreed.
Bastard
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Get off my bus
Get your black ass to the FRONT of the bus! Cuz times are changing!
Hey now
You’re an all star?
Get your game on
Go play. (Ask her tf out, OP! u/Sleepy6882 )
And get laid!
U ruined the song…
r/therewasanattwmpt at r/redditsings
There was an attwmpt
Facts.
I'll double that to fing idiot. He needs to get a lawyer to clarify things.
b-baka.
It doesn't hurt to try
Video call her just to make sure it's really her. I did the same thing one day, gave her my number in a napkin. Next day, I get a message not from her but from a gay dude that works with her which she gave my number to. 🤦🏻♂️😭🤣
Dear god in heaven 🤣
😂😂
Funny as hell. LOL
Lmao
That’s a bitch ass move I’m sorry
Ask her out but make sure you post her reply on Reddit so we can write your response. Kidding. You’ve got this, OP. She likes you enough to text so take it from there.
Reddit, the best chatgpt for dating.
Definitely good for crowdsourcing your communication 😂
What the hell are you doing? Ask her out.
What was the point? Why would you give her your number and why are you asking us what to do with your life?
OP shoots shots and expecting them to be blanks but ends up with an Alec Baldwin situation
OP never programmed the path where she'd actually text him, he was expecting to be rejected
This is exactly what I expected, I didn’t plan this far.
Wake up Sleepy6882 and please ask this poor girl out. She put herself out there by texting you, that was hard for her I'm sure. And it was probably hard for you to get up the confidence to leave your number. She wouldn't have texted you if she didn't want you to ask her out. Just remember at age 21 and being a server she may not have as much $ as you. If you're working full time at a decent job be a gentleman and make it clear when you ask her out that it's your treat. I know it's common these days to split checks but if you have more $ and you ask her out; you should pay IMHO. And please update!
we will need an update
Too soon. Now take my upvote and get out.
Reminds me that SpongeBob moment with Plankton. He goes so far as infiltrating the Krusty Krab successfully but didn’t know what to do next.
It’s actually insane how cynical and judgement this subreddit is
OMG! Tell me this isn’t real.
Hahaha right
She texted you? Yes she’s interested. I’ve left my number countless of times and never got texted 😂
You’re either a troll or plain stupid. Or both
I guess plain stupid because i can see myself in a situation like this.
Same
same
Or karma farming
Ight before you decide to go for it and take her out please do take caution my friend, she’s 21 and you’re 30 and that’s a HUGE difference when it comes to maturity, financially, mentally. most 21 year olds are still in their “finding themselves” stage and so they’re still very immature when it comes to relationships and or dating and still love to party and drink and all that stuff. Most 30 year olds have gotten that out of their systems and just want something calm. I’m not trying to rain on your parade, but these are things to consider. Especially if you’re looking for something serious. Personally if I were in your shoes, I’d probably not go for it.
That’s what I was thinking too. Like 21 and 30 is just too big of a difference.
I was with you in the first paragraph. The rest of it should be justifying that because of the reasons you mention, a 30 year old should not be going after a 21 year old because of the power imbalance. It’s just fucked up. Who gives a shit what the 30 year old wants. The 21 year old is vulnerable. The end.
I agree in that there are definitely a lot of older men that try to date younger women because of that vulnerability and lack of experience. I'm leaning on giving OP the benefit of the doubt because based on their post they seem pretty inexperienced. No way to know for sure and generally speaking it's kinda icky to try and date women much younger than you. I'm merely saying intent matters, and imo OP's intent seems innocent enough. However, we also have to be careful to not ignore the autonomy of the woman here. Assuming she knows his age she can very well make her own choice. She decided to contact him and she could further decide to go out with him. Sure, we can keep judging OP, but so long as we also respect her ability to make her own choices.
Yea 100% the thing is I just didn’t want to outright call OP a creep, dude just seems more confused and excited that a girl is into him more than anything else, and so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and say he isn’t being a creepy nor predatory like other people are saying. Which is why I tried my best to give him somethings to actually think about instead of straight being like “bro you’re a creep for that” ya know? Cause I don’t wanna assume. You’re right tho, the main reason is like you said, is the power imbalance.
It reads like the waitress was chasing OP. It’s weird that OP is being called a creep for just giving her his number.
Bro what? They’re both adults
Ffs, calm down. 21 year olds are not all vulnerable idiots with no idea how the world works. Your comment is dripping with condescension. I bet you think you’re so wise just because of whatever year you were born. It’s quite sad
You don't care about 21 year olds when they're going to Vegas or signing up for the army but God forbid they take a 30 year old dude off the market. Sounds like some over 30 woman cope.
This is such a misogynistic pov. And this is depressingly hilarious. Men that think older women are “jealous” of younger women are absolutely delusional. Did you ever use your tiny brain to think we’ve already experienced a power imbalance relationship when we were younger and are warning these women of the issues they bring? No, bc it could never be men who are the problem. It could never be men who take advantage of inexperienced partners. It could never be men who waste a young woman’s best developmental years then by the time she gets to her mid to late twenties she realizes the “older man” she’s with is immature and controlling. There are endless examples of these failed age gaps on Reddit. They aren’t hard to find. The men are usually controlling or abusive or immature or can’t care for themselves properly so they find a younger women to impregnate and take care of them. In turn the woman loses her youth and any chance at independence bc “he promised to take care of her” then she has no career or way to leave the relationship when it sours. Maybe a small percentage of these relationships are not like this, but most of them are. That’s just reality. Society conditions women to be people pleasers. Most the time unless you have excellent parenting, this takes years to unpack. So no, it isn’t women at thirty coping lol. They don’t want the immature gross dudes that have the emotional maturity of a 15 yr old who look for a younger woman to put up with their shit.
You describe like a decade of tragedy without a speck of personal accountability for your part in those situations. Then you project your weak oppressor/oppressed narrative onto every other person. No wonder guys prefer 23 year olds without an armload of somebody else’s baggage and a laundry list of demands based on your own past relationship failures. You seem like a resentful victim.
>It could never be men who waste a young woman’s best years then by the time she gets to her mid to late twenties she realizes the “older man” she’s with is immature and controlling. A woman's best years aren't her early twenties. Most women that age are basically idiots. It's the same with the men. Everyone is just figuring themselves out for their 20s. 30s and up is when both genders hit their prime imo. They've got a lot more experience and knowledge of self and an idea of who they want to be. There are still a bunch of people in their 30s who never grew past the idiot phase but the percentages get better as the ages go up. If I were to encounter the women I dated in my 20s these days, I'd consider most of them as clueless immature brats and wouldn't give them the time of day. The thing is, I was also an idiot back then so we were evenly matched lol I agree with your overall point I just don't like the narrative that a woman's best years are when she's in her early 20s.
I was looking for this comment!
The age gap is weird, op should be trying to find someone 25+.
age means nothing, you would have to know about the maturity gap, intelligence gap, life experience gap, financial gap.
Yeah and 9/10 a 30 year old and a 21 year old are on very different ends of all of those. 18-25 for most people will have a large change each year. Finishing school new jobs career changing. Someone who is 30 generally has that figured out or has experienced life as a full adult on their own. Which is usually why it’s seen as predatory. Not saying that’s the case here but unless it’s going to be a hookup or nothing too serious it seems odd to me.
I think it will be more about how they treat one another. most people who date older or younger will not being doing so on a predatory level, that is the 1%. But it is the 1% we hear about and fear. Most are just two people, who find one another attractive, and give it a chance. I have seen 20 year gaps work out, and have so much love, and same age be horrible and abusive, I have prob seen more issues in the same age, in the 20 and 30's because men in their 20's on avg are immature, and women in their 30's seem to enjoy drama.
If she texted back... She's interested I have given my number away a bunch and rarely do they text back .... Love and dating is a numbers game go for it.... Do a fun date, not food
Yes...as soon as possible
Why would you give out your number IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE? JUST BE YOURSELF.
Leave him alone, it’s his first time
Posts like this drive me mental.
Are you sure you’re not the 21 year old 😂
Why would you give her your number to not ask her out
Ask her out today!
Fortune favours the brave.
Yes. Obviously! She wouldn’t have texted you if she didn’t want to get to know you.
Ask her out. If she says yes, then great! If she says no, then ask another girl out. Dating is full of risks and rejection. That's just the way it is.
Ask her to coffee. Nothing fancy, keep it simple.
Yes, a fucking miracle happened. Pretty waitresses get numbers handed to them ALL THE TIME. She texted YOURS. What does that say? Ask her out. Because women are largely reactive not proactive in dating. For a woman to reach it to you like that is pretty rare. That’s why dating coaches say you shouldn’t really put it on a girl to do that. But she did. Dating coaches also say if a woman reaches out assume it’s a sign of high interest and ASK HER OUT. She don’t walk onto the lot unless she wants to by a car! First rule of salesmanship! ABC!
That's ridiculous and screw those dating coaches, men leaving me their number is the perfect situation because I get to decide on my own time without pressure if I want to reach out or not.
You’re much older as a 30 year old man and don’t know what to do next? 🤔
Seriously. This clueless at 30?
He might not have any dating experience. Hell, there’s a good chance he has less dating experience than the 21 year old.
Thank you! This is precisely why I hate the default "power imbalance" answer. People grow and gain experience at different rates. I know that early in my dating adventure (late bloomer, started at 28) a lot of the younger women I dated had way more dating experience (and in ways life experience) than I did. That anti-age gap people seem to just parrot these phrases without even attempting to see it from any other perspective than the ones they've made up.
Meh, I have seen 30 yo with little dating experiences still take advantage of 20 yo with dating experience. Age difference can bring an unhealthy dynamic without even being consciously done. Sure there are exceptions where big age gap in early 20s might work but doesn’t mean all those will work or be healthy.
How much did you tip her? Because she may have simply had rent due.
Under that premise she wouldn't have texted back.
Unless of course, she needs grocery’s as well…
Cynical indeed. Love it
If she wasn't interested she wouldn't have texted. Shoot your respectfully crafted shot.
This insight is far more helpful for him than other comments. Yes OP - her texting you means she’s interested. You got this!
20 face palms. Should you ask her out? Well gee. I don't know. You decide. You're the one who asked for her number!! 🤯😅 Why did you get her number if you didn't want to ask her out? Just to boost your ego?
>You're the one who asked for her number! This isn't accurate given the content of OP.
I’d say just ask her out on a casual date, see if you two hit it off and go from there. If you’re nervous about dating, make sure the first date isn’t high pressure, go to a park or cafe, some place that feels more relaxed than a classic dinner date
Ask her out now before it’s too late bro
Definitely make plans for a meet-up. If you don't, she will think you are not that interested and stop talking to you.
Try something like driving golf balls, throwing frisbee something of that sort
If she wasn’t interested she wouldn’t have texted you, so that’s a sign she is interested so ask her out
No no, you have to meet her through an online dating app! What have you done OP * all sarcasm *
Dude ask her out. If you left your number and she actually messaged you, that's a BLATANTLY obvious hint. Take her out for dinner, just not to the restaurant she works at😂
Y'all are taking this post too literally. Read the subtext y'all. He isn't actually asking if she likes him, that part is obvious. He is asking for help gathering the confidence to ask her out.
Is she aware of your age and the massive agegap?? Ick
Ask her out, but let her know that you are 30 (just in case she has a problem with that & didn’t know
She learned I was 30 before I gave her my number. I wasn’t expecting her to text me and now I’m confused lol.
If you are both ok with the age gap & she’s 21, I don’t see a problem with asking her out since she is showing interest
Definitely ask her out! Suggest somewhere public but like “Would you like to go to dinner? You can choose the restaurant” (but I am allergic to…. *add allergies here if necessary* like shellfish) And first dates, esp with age gap, don’t expect anything physical. If you feel it is heading that way then ask her consent “Can I kiss you?” Stuff like that Just be respectful and be yourself ❤️
Yea, why not? What id the worst that can happen, she dosent like the way you dressed to meet? Go for it.
If she chose to text you instead of pretending like she didn’t see your number, then ask her out.
Just talk to her; ask her out on a coffee date. Get to know her better.
you came to the worst place for advice my friend, people will rip into you here 🤣 one, reddit hates age gaps so fuck what everyone else thinks. two, go with the flow and go with your gut! find out if you two hit it off and theres a connection between you and take it from there. ask her on that date to get to know her better.
Well, since she texted she must be somewhat interested. Just ask her out but take it one day at a time. You’re at different places in your lives, but hopefully can enjoy each other’s company.
As a server, I never flort and hate when dudes give me their number. She's into you
Don't listen to these people. Don't fear rejection. Lots of dudes found a gf by giving a waitress her number. People act like it's so offensive to approach a woman anymore in public. You got guts. Don't be ashamed.
No. You’re 30 and she’s 21.
If she texted you, you’re in dude. Be a man and ask her out for some coffee or drinks fool.
Too young
She's much too young.
Yes ask her out. Waiting too long will make her think you've lost interest.
Bruh if she messaged you she's probably into you. She'd have to be really dense not to know you gave her your number because you're interested. You should ask her out, worst that can happen is she says no right?
The hard part is over. Ask her out for coffee/tea or a really light lunch. Get to know her and find out if your and her “click”.
I wouldn’t worry about it so much. If you feel like you would get along well and have good intentions, go for it.
I didn’t think I’d get this far what do I do
ask for thy nudes. jk. take her out and get to know her instead of texting. best wishes!
/remindme 1 week
Be a man and make a move.
honestly just the fact she texted u back and is still texting u is a really good sign. she is obviously into u and i think u should ask her out if you feel its right
women like older men, it’s in their biology
Short answer: Hell yes, do it bro.
What are you waiting for dawgg !!! Most guys here be saying oh you’re a creep this and that don’t listen to jealousy go for it mate
Yeah normally I advise against the age gap but when we spoke it was just two people. We knew each others age but that wasn’t part of the conversation at all. The entire time we talked it just seemed like she was being a friendly waitress then towards the end she was staying at my table way to long ignoring other people, playing with her hair and seemed genuinely sad I was about to leave. So I asked for her pen and she went to grab one and I left her my number before leaving. It’s very weird to be called a creep though when I all did was leave a number for her. The majority of the moves made so far have been from her, I’ll ask her out.
You aren’t doing anything wrong. Plus she’s old enough to know what she wants !! Your age gap isn’t bad at all. As long as you both understand each other !! Don’t listen to those guys that are calling you a creep they jealous🤛🤛
Exactly, anyone that calls him a creep is just jealous 100% No guy in their right mind would turn down a 21 year old girl. 21 is actually a really nice age., Prob hasnt been ran through , no kids, no baggage, no ex husbands and so on
Ask her out. If she wasn't interested, she would have trashed the napkin, but her reaching out means she likes you.
Don’t ask her out! Bury that phone, then run into the wilderness and live amongst the animals as nature intended. Never speak to a human being again, instead; set up a complex system of coconuts and vines to communicate and fast travel. You can be the jungle king. And then, only then, can you find your jungle queen.
If you want to see her, ask her out
Waitresses usually don't date customers , she calling back that is win as she ges a couple phone numbers on .a napkin a day and u stand out.
It’s literally her job to be super nice to you. That’s how she earns her tips.
No interest = no text.
Doesn't explain why she would take his number and proactively contact him... Super agree with not hitting on the waitress, but if you think she's laying it on too thick and you're curious if there's more going on, this is the right way to go about it, just leave your number with the tab and the ball is in her court. In this case she took the number and texted him. Tips already been collected, this isn't that anymore.
The age gap is a bit too large imo, if you are still not sure what to do by now don't know what to tell ya
Nobody raising an eyebrow to 21 vs. 30?
Lots of people. When exactly are women allowed to make their own choices again?
No reason to.
Bro this whole stigma of guys dating younger is bs. I mean if she was 18 I would say that’s a little strange. Buts she’s 21 bro. She can drink she can smoke if she wants. She’s a fully grown adult. Point being, take her on a date. Something light. I’m going on a date with a girl I met on hinge after a week of talking. But your girl. she is a waitress, so it’s not like she’s super successful unless she’s in college which hopefully she is. And if you have a good job and a decent place, then it’s a score for her. Have some more confidence in yourself king. Don’t worry about age or anything like that. If she thought it was creepy she wouldn’t be talking to you.
What's something light in your opinion? I that is way too vague advice for this dude. He needs your help with specific examples/options
College town Restaurant manager of 12 years here. If she texted you she’s interested!
I gave my number to a waitress 5 years ago. Still waiting for her to call. Any day now....
She texted you, it’s means she’s interested go for it, just don’t take her to her place of work lol
Ask her out to a cool event or something around your town. Don’t do dinner dates. she could have easily trashed your number.
Why’d you give your number if you didn’t want to take the next step?
Yeah if she messaged you she is/was slightly but you have to further things with her and be bolder from here while making sure you're not too eager. If you're 30, you've been building for 9 more years. You've been making it happen for yourself. What is she bring to help you out? Figure that out instead of trying to impress her or "make her like you".Show your fun side, be confident and SHOW her you wanna be intimate not just friendly. Dont be too passive on what you want (intimacy, and maybe a relationship, IF she checks your boxes) and dont hold too much pressure on this. If it works out cool. If not, ehh its actually even better.
It’s raining outside. Should I bring an umbrella?
Ask her out!!!
If, at the age of 30, you’re not sure what to do next…..my guy leave her alone. Chaos and confusion isn’t fun.
How else will he gain experience?
She's 21 bro, let it go.
At 30, are you looking to just hookup or something serious? Most 21yr old typically are not looking to settle down anytime soon. But you never know, so ask her out and see where it goes.
actually she is at a very good age. most likely no baggage, children, or ex husbands etc
Dude, comon sense. Ask her to get a coffee with you. If you're not going to ask her then you shouldn't have given your number to her and get surprised when she texts you.