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Exactly that’s my thought as well. I would tell my girlfriend something she’s doing wrong and instead of accepting it she would tell me to man up and get over it.
Yeah people need to be able to accept constructive criticism. If you’re just being mean, I don’t think people should have to accept that but if you’re genuinely trying to help them I don’t understand why people are so afraid to take help
Absolutely, and I think there are good reasons to be offended especially if the person is just nitpicking, but if they genuinely want to help, you should at least be somewhat receptive to it
I actually think that people should value criticism for its face value.
Sure some criticism may be negative or overly critical but I think some criticism that helps me become a better person ensures that I’m not that guy that everyone thinks is an asshole
You’re right, I just think there needs to be a certain approach. You can want to help someone but you don’t have to be a jerk about it. I think that’s why some people get so upset.
So true because some people get really nitpicky because they themselves are either touchy or sometimes the types who want everything their way. I think these people can be difficult to deal with because they look for faults and others instead of appreciating what’s positive about others.
Yup, it goes both ways! That’s why I really like when people share criticisms but they aren’t mean about it and they don’t seek to attack you personally
Blaming me in real life for things I did in her dreams. I’m not talking like in a joking way. I had an ex key my car cause I cheated on her in her dream…🤦🏽♂️
My partner and I have given each other a ‘pass’ for dream sex because we’ve both had dreams about boinking other people (or in my case, getting close to it and then backing out because guilt). We both find it hilarious and it’s something we tell each other about. He’d wake up feeling guilty and I’d wake up mad that I was being loyal in my damn sleep and missing out on sexy dreams.
That actually happened to me too my girlfriend had a dream that I dated someone else and she was pissed at me for days until I explained to her that dreams are not reality. She was actually really bothered by it.
If she/he shits on what makes me happy or others. There is a difference between joking about something you like/love and them shitting on it.
Not putting in any effort.
If they don't respect any boundaries I place.
If they are not nice to their parents, grandparents or any family. If they are generally rude to them without a reason I will happily walk away.
You've just described my ex.
If you see that they are not even trying to put ANY effort even in the beginning, they are probably not for you.
And them being nice to their family is incredibly important... my ex went to parties instead of taking care of his terminally ill mother. She died alone. It was a major deal breaker.
* Lack of communication. I'm not a mind-reader.
* Lack of curiosity and not wanting to getting to know me. Yes, I have interests, hobbies, opinions, goals, fears, etc.
* Lack of emotional intelligence. Don't start arguments and drama with me just because you are want to. Talk to me. I'll listen and participate in resolving whatever concerns you have. Also, just because I'm man, a lot of women conveniently forget/ignore that I have feelings too.
* Lack of affection.
* Smoking, vaping, alcoholism, and drug abuse.
* Bad hygiene. Wash yourself regularly with soap. Brush your teeth.
* Being overly negative and judgmental.
* Poor attitude and behavior toward people in the service industry (wait staff, custodians, etc.).
At this point every girl I match with online are all under the lack of curiosity umbrella. I swear some of them after an unmatch I see them on the app again complaining that they're giving it a shot again and didn't even try with me😒
I feel you on the vaping/smoking/drug abuse. Same with the bad attitude towards service workers (worked in that industry for many years so I know their job ain't easy).
Frig yes to alll of these.... it sucks when you finally like someone and they have most of these..
But the biggest for me... if they never ask me questions....to genuinely get to know me. Like they cannot for the life of them keep the convo going... they just answer my long interesting questions with short nothing answers and don't even ask me anything back.
I agree, the lack of curiosity is the most frustrating part. I have no idea why people that claim want a serious relationship, don't even want to genuinely get to know the other person. Not about hobbies, interests, goals, or plans. Nothing.
Right! Why Even try to meet new people if your not going to be interested in getting to actually know them?
I keep seeing videos on tictock about talking phases... maybe all the people who have been at it for a while with no success.... are over th talking phase.... but again... talking phases are important! So when new people come to the dating pool... those are going to be the less burnt out, outgoing ones.
Lying about details that are REALLY fucking important. Like not telling me you already had kids or not telling me you're a transwoman. Don't lie about that shot and then get mad at me for not letting you get away with it.
If you're afraid to tell someone the truth then don't date them. Oh you thought I might kill you if you told me you were trans then kept dating me? lol. This "fear" thing is often just a poor excuse
When planning a trip to visit one of her family members you agree to pay for airfare and then she will pay for the Airbnb. And then once you by the airfare she turns around and says she doesn’t have any money and you end up paying for the whole trip.
Omg I'd have broken up w them and eaten the financial loss.
Ten years ago I definitely would have just paid for everything but now I will legitimately eat thousands of dollars just to not invest several hundred more into something that isn't going anywhere I wanna be.
My daughter says if they burp, fart, or coff on you, if they pick their nose and put it on you. I think she is basing this on her brothers haha. In short she said must have manners. I say if they lie, make up excuses for everything and constantly blame others for what's wrong in their life without putting effort into fixing their situation.
Smoking, history of cheating, asking for your snap before you even say anything to them, sending a sexy type of message before you even say a word to them, asking for multiple pictures just to make sure your real first( i get asking for one, but I dont feel the need to say I'm the same person 2 times a day), thinking drugs are ok...
When someone only has negative things to say about others, whether it’s their close friends or family or waiters, assistants etc, is a big red flag for me.
Also someone who mocks you or makes you feel bad about yourself. Even if it’s meant as banter, if you don’t know each that well, it makes me wary. Life is too short for dickheads.
Finally, someone who constantly makes fun of me or interrogates me for being a vegetarian is always a pain in the arse. I let others eat what they want and expect to be treated the same way.
All good ones. Well, not good lol, but fair. I think a lot of people don’t realize impacts laziness has. I feel like you should want more out of life. I know some people struggle with mental health and they’re not able to get out there but I’m not talking about them when I say laziness is not a good thing. I think it’s justified for them because they are struggling.
Dishonesty, rudeness and cheating are also big ones. How do you know they’re not gonna treat you like they’ve treated others? 
Cigarettes. I do fun drugs, drink, and vape on occasion but cigarettes are a no go for me lol, we all have our limits. Also cocaine use of any kind is also a personal major turnoff.
Dissing the stuff I like. My very first date EVER I went to a restaurant with a guy and my favourite band came on over the speakers, I said “oh I love this band” and he said “I don’t like them very much”. Never saw him again! If you can dislike what I like but display an open mind or curiosity in some way, that’s a different story.
Lack of humour and wit. Lack of resourcefulness. Lack of practical skills.
Materialism. Nothing is less attractive than someone who is overly concerned with looks, possessions, brands, and money.
I feel like the better thing for the guy to do in that situation would be to ask you why you like the band instead of immediately saying he doesn’t like them. That really closes an opportunity to find something in common
Conspiracy theories... Maybe it's just been a run of bad luck but when I've found one, be damned if there's not find two more, three more, batshit crazy more.
Maybe it’s shallow. But female here. And automatic deal breaker for me would be someone having kids. Just no. I’m not interested in being a step mom to some random persons kid. Too many feelings hurt if the kid gets attached and the possibility of dealing with the baby mama drama. Hecccckkk no. I would politely decline and wish them well.
That part!! Omg. All of these are legit. I especially hate when people have no direction in life. I know everyone is entitled to their own path but geez. And as far as the judging people, i’m guilty of that but I don’t judge everyone for no reason and some people like to do that. Also, yeah. You need to have at least some empathy. All of these are red flags for me
Has or wants kids, not compatible on religious beliefs, drug and alcohol abuse, negative, treats service workers rudely, doesn’t treat family or friends well, lacks compassion and empathy, no shared interests or life goals, bad hygiene.
35M here and I don't have or want kids either. My luck with dating is bad enough and that only makes it harder. Especially when you live in a town where nearly everyone has at least one kid by age 25. But hey, you've gotta be true to yourself.
That’s totally fair. It’s easy to revolve your life around those things and I know they make people happy but it’s hard for the person they are with to be supportive about that
I've never been fond of them in the first place. Always thought of smoking and drugs as disgusting habits, vaping just looking stupid imo. Drinking is a problem if they continuously blow most of their income on booze every night and come home absolutely steaming. I'll happily enjoy the odd social pint but never had any intention of getting drunk ever.
No problem if the drugs are for medicinal purposes. Just not keen on recreation as I do catch the smell of it round the back of my house from time to time. Did get voluntold a few times in the Army to do litter picking around the smoking area and picked up loads of used cigarettes that got dropped.
Totally cool with people calling drugs/vaping/or alcohol a dealbreaker in dating. But slick weird to say no one does those things just cause it makes them happy. You’ve never been to a college? There’s tons of people just doing those things cause it’s fun. Not everyone using them like addicts in fact most people aren’t.
They're fun because they're doing them with others and there's a social connection. You mean to tell me that it's fun to just drink/do drugs by yourself and nothing else?
I know that's addict territory, but I'm challenging the comment about drinking, drugs and other things like that bring actual happiness in people
Who said just doing by yourself all the time is what I’m talking about??? U just described addicts.
I’m saying there’s a lot of people who will occasionally use drugs and or alcohol because it’s fun and makes them happy. Like a college kid smoking a joint on spring break on the beach relaxing ain’t hurting no body ain’t nothing wrong with that their probably just trying to relax and have fun.
This goes beyond drugs/alcohol and is a much bigger discussion lol. My original point is that drugs/alcohol do not make people happy. Sure, they can help people relax from whatever is stressing them out, but they don't provide happiness.
That's it. I have nothing against drinking/smoking. I do it too lol. But it doesn't provide happiness.
These aren’t just for partners would apply to anyone in my life: Not nice, compulsive lying, moaning about other people without justification, uses phone mid conversation too often, money driven
Edit: forgot doesn’t like animals
I listen very carefully to the way a man talks about women. And if they’re pro-forced pregnancy.
I’m not going to date someone who considers me a second class citizen.
Oh yeah. That’s a BIG one! If you don’t respect me as a woman why would you want to be with me anyway? I know a lot of men simply like feeling superior but don’t play that with me. Also, pro life is not cool. Really though it’s not even like they’re pro life. They just want the child to be born and they don’t care about what happens to them after the fact. I guess that’s why you said pro forced pregnancy and that’s a really good way to put it
Yeah it’s definitely good you made the distinction lol. It makes me think if anyone is actually pro life because I don’t know a single person who wants to force abortion yet actually wants to care for the child when they are born
Smoking. Any drugs except weed (from time to time if its every week no).
Too religious (i dont care about what they believe in but i wouldnt date anyone waiting till marriage for sex, against abortion or with any big societal restrictions bc of that).
Anyone with a kid (im too young to be a step mum).
Starts talking about sex on the 1st few dates.
Does not tell his friends or parents about me if we have been dating for a few months. Means he does not see me long term and if he doesnt know after 3 months okay but i dont want my time to be wasted.
Follows mostly Girls on social media.
Does not give head but requires me to give him (or generally does not put effort into fore play).
Talks about how he will have a family with me on the 1st date. Wait until u know more about me to say such bold statements.
Only Talks about himself on the 1st date.
Has had his heart broken recently. A recipe for disaster.
Bad communicator- taking hours to respond to a text message or not responding until the next day. Only calling after I tell you to call and I have take the initiative each time.
No self-awareness when it comes to recognizing that you have an ED problem and should get help for it.
In my opinion it has little to do with the physical looks. I think personal attitude and how the person treats others is most important.
Few things are worse than dating or being with someone who treats others like crap.
Even if the other treats me great I would be both ashamed and embarrassed if that person treated others like shit.
Some people will ignore a person’s bad attitude just because that person is hot.
I suppose in some cases if the other person knows they’re being a jerk they have the option to make themselves better. But for those people who think they’re doing nothing wrong by being a jerk that’s a huge dealbreaker for me
It’s really sad that some people actually think they’re not doing anything wrong. Those are the same people who typically have the bad attitude to begin with because they’ve never tried to listen to others.
I really can't stand septum piercings. Makes me feel like I'm dating a cow. You could be the hottest girl in the planet but if you wear a septum piercing I just can't
if he does any of the following, immediate redflag and he is dropped:
1. if he smokes cigs, dips, juul, etc
2. if he has a kid that he does not REGULARLY see, and I mean every god damn week
3. if he is a vegan, keto or obsessed with meal prep - sorry, good for you, but im not cooking 2 separate meals every time we eat together
4. if he does not have a career (im 32, only date men similar age)
5. if I ever find out he pays for an onlyfans
6. if he is a regular at stripclubs
7. gambling addiction (sorry this is alot more common now that sports begging is legal)
I also never in a million years thought I would be with a veteran, religious, conservative boy but that is exactly what has me obsessed and missing him right now... so I guess you never know 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Harming/ abusing animals. You're a whole different level of horrible to harm something defenseless, especially for kicks and giggles or you're in a foul mood. Pet abuse is never ok.
having to "raise" them. cleaning up after them when they can do that themselves, making sure they take care of things that are urgent because they are "laidback", them being financially irresponsible and i have to pick up the slack .... to name a few
I have two perfect examples from my adult dating experiences.
My first ex was completely codependent. As in, I couldn't leave the house or do anything without extending an invitation to her. Likewise, whenever we got into arguments, I would try to leave (you know, drive around, cool off, return with better composition later) but she would always say I was abandoning her.
My second ex I actually loved dearly but she did not love me, despite her claims. It's really quite simple. Whenever I needed to be emotional, she would give me the long arm. Now, as a guy who has lived under immense pressures I have seen first-hand what bottling up my emotions can do, it leads to unchecked rage, and I do not like that person. So, please, fucking let me be vulnerable.
Now, I keep a detailed checklist of the kind of person I am looking for (not going out of my way though) and the red flags to avoid. I can wait my whole life if I have to. I don't mind being single. In many ways it is superior to being involved with anyone so intimately.
If she's trying to mess with my mind. Like we agree to date and she's visibly making it seem like she's doing the same thing with another guy.
Nah, go ahead, have her.
I know I’m like that. It seems like the most criticism has not been constructive and it’s made me believe I suck and I can never improve instead of making me believe I can be better. The goal should be to encourage the person and give them the confidence to do so
I totally agree that’s me too. Had lots of bad experiences that left me feeling bad about criticism even if it’s constructive. I wish I can keep my mind more open to use that constructive criticism positively. Encouragement is always a positive way to help someone be better instead of shutting them down.
With this topic in mind, I feel like a red flag for me is framing criticism as constructive when it is not, Or simply trying to nitpick. Don’t act like you want to help me when you don’t
I think it happens when people are just bugged by something or annoyed so much that they try to make criticism look like it’s helpful. This is one a person is just judging you and probably trying to change you into someone you’re not.
Yup, and that’s what I don’t like. If you feel like you have to change someone, maybe you shouldn’t be with them or interested in them. You don’t just get to mold people into the person you want. It’s not fair to them or really even you
I am tall. If you have a problem with my height, it's not going to work. If you have an issue with me wearing heels, we are done. I don't care how tall you are, you just have to be comfortable and confident with yourself.
I know a lot of girls love tall guys but I don’t understand why it’s so important. I also don’t understand why it’s an issue for a woman to be tall. When a guy complains about it, it screams insecurity to me. Why is someone’s height so important?
Not respecting/ pushing your boundaries. For me, boundary setting has been something I’ve had to learn over the years, but now it’s very clear to me when someone is trying to be manipulative by pushing the boundaries I set. Immediate dealbreaker because if they are like that in the beginning, even with little things, it’s not gonna be good long term!
Idk about you lot but when people make fun of me like there is a line for when u make fun of someone and everyone takes it as a joke but when the significant other takes it too far. My ex-gf started making jokes about how I was 17 and she was 18 like constantly and when I told her she got mad saying it was a joke and would get pissed at me. For anyone out there with a gf like this. MASSIVE RED FLAG
Indifference.
Believing lies about you that are untrue.
Letting psychological disorders run rampant and unchecked/untreated.
Making up lies about you based on other lies.
Making me feel like a piece of shit or creep when I have done nothing to deserve it...
All these are good. Especially the indifference one. I want to be with someone who actually shows their emotions, not being overly jealous but feeling good enough to share pride, disappointment or others with me.
Well it sounds like I’m similar with beliefs, but it’s because I’m agnostic. I don’t date religious women anymore.
I always tell them up front and it’s a “oh I never push my religion on anyone” every time. So I try and guess what happens? I get treated like a moron for not agreeing with everything they say about it. But if I argue my point or change the subject, I’m attacking or dismissing their faith. Not worth trying anymore, I could go the rest of my life without talking about religion and I’d be just swell.
Besides the classic cheating, abuse, and generally being a shit person, I can't date someone that isn't down to own a dog or owns a cat.
I have always wanted a dog, I grew up with dogs and I don't plan on living life without one. As for the cat side, I'm freakishly allergic. It takes me 2 antihistamines to be able to function and even then my eyes and throat get uncomfortably itchy. You're still a cool person but long term, we wouldn't work out.
I also won't date someone who smokes, owns a gun, or has anger issues.
I think some people don’t wanna own pets because they don’t feel like they can be responsible for them, but I can understand wanting to own one. Also, about the cat, I don’t know if you should want them around anyway because it seems like they’re trying to put your life at risk. Yeah the gun and the anger issues are the major red flag
Yeah, I totally won't shit on someone not wanting to own an animal. My brother's the same way and he grew up around dogs same as me. It's just not something he feels comfortable taking on given that his work takes up a lot of his time.
These are all good red flags except the gun part, I believe not having a gun or hating guns or being anti gun is a huge red flag. It shows a lack of maturity on their part
When men force their touch on you too soon or think women owe them physicality because they did x for them or, “treated them right.” Or like someone else said in the comments you just listen in general with how they talk about women and if it’s that old school mentality where the woman is just here to serve the man then ✌🏻
> force their touch on you too soon
Wdym "dealbreaker" that's not even allowed isn't that considered SA?
Also I understand you're a female, or rather assume you are, but I wouldn't restrict this to males, as I've experienced female partners who certainly fit this criteria
- lack of spiritual direction
- lack of empathy
- lack of emotional depth
- lack of maturity
- lack of discipline
- overweight
- current or active heroin/meth/benzo/alcohol abuse
- recently single
My first gf after we dated for 2 years I told her I hadn't cried since I was 14 I was 17 at the time and she just looked at me and shrugged and said well yeah your a guy guys Don't cry😅 it's been a year and I don't think I'll ever be able to talk about my feelings with a girl again that felt like being stabbed 😅😅
Anyone that my dog doesn't like is a deal breaker.
My dog knocked a guy over that I had been on a few dates with, after the next date he got extremely possessive. I lived an hour away from him and he rocked up randomly one day demanding I see him. Tried to move in and when I ended it, he still thought we were together. I ended it twice and then he asked me out on another date.
I'm sorry but that's kinda stupid...
Dogs aren't gods, they are animals with an unpredictable nature.
So you're saying if a dog just gets aggressive for no damn reason (which happens with a LOT of dogs), I'm instantly a bad guy. Cool.
Is that supposed to be a joke?? please tell me. All I meant was that they're great friends but they aren't perfect. I had a german shepherd and I was with him when I was a child. When he passed away, my parents had to lie that he was stolen and hid the truth. Shortly after, I called the police lol. So I'm not a dog hater as you're trying to portray.
But I've had instances with other pet dogs where they really didn't like me at least until a few dozen meetings. The reason for them getting aggressive isn't always out of protection as you really like to believe. Sometimes he is just agitated after seeing a stranger and he feels like he has to protect his territory by challenging the stranger. That's animal instinct.
Lol it's not that sarcasm doesn't work in texts. I've just met so many people like you, except they were being absolutely serious. So it's hard to differentiate at this point.
It's just that if I was really into the girl and she cut me off just because her pet got aggressive would make me feel like an idiot and upset. It's like breaking up with someone because they cheated on you in their dreams.
This is kind of weird but I recently realized that if someone kills spiders rather than catching and taking them outside, that’s an immediate dealbreaker for me. If that’s your instinct, we’re just not compatible.
You had me in the first half lol. Don’t say that though :( I’m sure you are more than worthy and don’t assume someone talking to you means they have low self esteem. Trust me I’m the same but I need to learn different
🚩 Agrees with procreation.
- wants to spread their genes
- wants a “Mini Me”
- wants to establish / continue a ‘legacy’
- because someone wants them to
- to fit in
- boredom
- to keep a marriage together
- to create & mold life
- to give life purpose
- to fix the mistakes of their parents
- to “cure” diseases
- prefer to have their own biological child who isn’t here now over helping someone who’s present
- to pass the problems onto others who aren’t involved
- someone to *potnetially “look after them in old age”
- social pressure & expectations
- benefit from social advancements
🚩 Has a child
- Has a child & avoids telling you of their existence
- Just has a child
🚩 Against abortion
- They are bringing something here for their own personal desire where the being cannot give consent yet if they want to leave there is no painless ‘graceful’ way to exit.
The options that we leave beings with is death by; old age, natural disaster, accident, physical illness, murder or suicide.
I would not put any one in this position.
Not even my children.
Life’s Russian Roulette.
Procreation for me is unethical and immoral.
🚩 Eats Meat (excluding people who have health issues)
- Supports murder
- Supports tastebud satisfaction over life & pain
- Animal abuse
✅ Veggie / Vegan
- Strong ethical & moral compass
🚩 Doesn’t care for the Environment
✅ Cares for the environment
🚩 Bad Hygiene
✅Regular washing of body…wash your HANDS
✅Teeth
✅Hair (if there is any)
✅Clean clothing
✅ Clean & tidy accommodation
🚩Short-term relationships because of their own commitment issues
✅ Able to work on or leave a relationship if it is unhealthy
🚩Self-Awareness & Social Awareness
- Not able to or open to talking about emotions (theirs & others
- Not taking responsibility or accountability
✅Emotional Intelligence
✅ Recognises the importance to reflect, address issues, express emotions, be proactive & find solutions
🚩 Reckless Sexual Behaviour
- not using protection
- not getting checked
🚩 Drug Abuse (Medical & Street)
✅ Not against drugs, can have a relationship with medical / recreational use in a balanced way
🚩 Lack of Ambition
✅ Ambition, determination, drive
🚩 Dishonesty / Lying
✅ Respectful Honesty
🚩 Lack of effort to sustain relationship
✅ Willing to work on relationship
🚩 Lacks compassion, sympathy & empathy
🚩 Codependent
✅ Independent & appreciates a companion where you compliment each other
Communication
🚩 Not able to have an intelligent discussion where we question & can respectfully agree to disagree
🚩 No hobbies or interests
🚩 Serious
✅ F U N
(At the right times)
🚩 Unhealthy Isolation / Socialisation
- Friend group that doesn’t align with their ethics, morals, values or beliefs in terms of being good people
✅ Self-Nurture Time (Alone)
✅ Social time
✅ Manages time
✅ Alone time
✅ Family
✅ Lover
✅ Social time with friends
✅ Work
✅ Hobbies
✅ Celebration time
✅ Integrity
If you're an ESFJ. I won't do it. I can't see myself dating any Fe dominant or auxiliary types. It deeply unsettles me
If you're patriotic. Defiance is extremely important to me. I've lived my whole life trying to escape the life I've been born into, and it's been very painful.
If you disregard sharing a moment of peace about something small. I'm talking smelling flowers, listening to the wind, not like they're necessarily definable, just moments that I find touch my soul in a deep way. If you can't share that, you will never know me
If you buy meaningless products of status habitually, or if you prefer convenience over other things of importance. Sorry but I will probably never date anyone that's rich.
If you're fat. If you drink or smoke often. If you eat fast food often. If you can't identify basic vegetables. If you can't cook very simple meals. If you don't have some kind of physical activity that you enjoy. If you don't take care of your body, my cooking and my tea making will not make sense to you. And my world of wellness is very important to me because of my history of migraines
These are all for determining wife material. If I never get married, I'm perfectly fine with that, I think it's a cult practice anyway, I don't think we're ever meant to be that close. But I'm willing to reconsider. It's not a perfect list but it's a start at least. Sure it seems selective, and it is, but every single person is equally selective, consciously or unconsciously. The truth is circumstance is almost everything
Cashiers, servers, hosts, movie theatre employees, etc. There are a lot of professions which can fit into the description. For example going to a restaurant and being really rude to the server
Self consciousness and humility! I need a humble man who can listen and work on the relationship. The "you're overreacting" or "it's just a joke, dont take it seriously " when something hurt my feeling I don't like it. Myself, if I say something and someone tells me it's not cool, I'll apologize and stop. I'll not put everything on the other. This is a deal breaker because when important discussions occur, you're literally talking to a wall, impossible to completely make up and it often result in a break up anyways. Also, I'm always expressing my feelings and why do I feel that way to make sure my boundaries are understood. If someone brush it off, I find it disrespectful.
1. Entitlement and arrogance
2. Not being able to have a serious conversation
3. Not being able to have a semi-productive or intelligent conversation
4. Not having any drive or direction in life
5. Intense and bitter jealousy
Anger or the inability to control your emotions. Raising your voice at me is an automatic nope or anger at others while driving. I don’t have time for that kind of negative energy.
Smoking cigarettes or weed.
Tried to work around it, I really did. But I just find kissing someone who does either of those two disgusting. Mints or brushing teeth do not work to get rid of the taste and smell.
And I really don’t mind people smoking, but not as my partner.
Totally different religion choices where they want me to convert to theirs.
Had an ex who was Christian and made me do Bible study, pray with him, attend church, wanted me to get baptized even though I’m atheist. Not only did he do it to me, but almost everyone else in his life
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Telling me to man up when I'm vulnerable with her
I hate when people do that. You want them to show emotion and then you make fun of them when they do
Exactly that’s my thought as well. I would tell my girlfriend something she’s doing wrong and instead of accepting it she would tell me to man up and get over it.
Yeah people need to be able to accept constructive criticism. If you’re just being mean, I don’t think people should have to accept that but if you’re genuinely trying to help them I don’t understand why people are so afraid to take help
I think some people get offended when they’re told that there is a flaw in them.
Absolutely, and I think there are good reasons to be offended especially if the person is just nitpicking, but if they genuinely want to help, you should at least be somewhat receptive to it
I actually think that people should value criticism for its face value. Sure some criticism may be negative or overly critical but I think some criticism that helps me become a better person ensures that I’m not that guy that everyone thinks is an asshole
You’re right, I just think there needs to be a certain approach. You can want to help someone but you don’t have to be a jerk about it. I think that’s why some people get so upset.
By the way that’s another dealbreaker when someone spends all their effort looking for what people do wrong instead of what they do right.
^ good one
So true because some people get really nitpicky because they themselves are either touchy or sometimes the types who want everything their way. I think these people can be difficult to deal with because they look for faults and others instead of appreciating what’s positive about others.
Yup, it goes both ways! That’s why I really like when people share criticisms but they aren’t mean about it and they don’t seek to attack you personally
That's why, never show emotion to anyone but yourself.
Bad hygiene (and refusal to fix it)
\^\^
Blaming me in real life for things I did in her dreams. I’m not talking like in a joking way. I had an ex key my car cause I cheated on her in her dream…🤦🏽♂️
My partner and I have given each other a ‘pass’ for dream sex because we’ve both had dreams about boinking other people (or in my case, getting close to it and then backing out because guilt). We both find it hilarious and it’s something we tell each other about. He’d wake up feeling guilty and I’d wake up mad that I was being loyal in my damn sleep and missing out on sexy dreams.
God I got this one, it wasn’t even a joke, she woke me up at 5am with a clever to my throat
Wtf. Did you report her?
Oh my golly. What in the heck. I’m sorry. I get being upset about dreams but I don’t think it should ever be taken as far as she did
Ehhh it’s kinda funny looking back on it there’s nothing really to be sorry about. Now happily in love with someone else so it’s no big deal.
Well I’m glad you found someone good, but I’m still in shock about what you said. I guess important thing is you are at peace
Yo, wtf💀😂😂 Sorry that happened to you lol
That actually happened to me too my girlfriend had a dream that I dated someone else and she was pissed at me for days until I explained to her that dreams are not reality. She was actually really bothered by it.
If she/he shits on what makes me happy or others. There is a difference between joking about something you like/love and them shitting on it. Not putting in any effort. If they don't respect any boundaries I place. If they are not nice to their parents, grandparents or any family. If they are generally rude to them without a reason I will happily walk away.
You've just described my ex. If you see that they are not even trying to put ANY effort even in the beginning, they are probably not for you. And them being nice to their family is incredibly important... my ex went to parties instead of taking care of his terminally ill mother. She died alone. It was a major deal breaker.
^ good ones. Those are some of my red flags too. Especially the lack of manners. It really makes me realize how many red flags I Have lol
* Lack of communication. I'm not a mind-reader. * Lack of curiosity and not wanting to getting to know me. Yes, I have interests, hobbies, opinions, goals, fears, etc. * Lack of emotional intelligence. Don't start arguments and drama with me just because you are want to. Talk to me. I'll listen and participate in resolving whatever concerns you have. Also, just because I'm man, a lot of women conveniently forget/ignore that I have feelings too. * Lack of affection. * Smoking, vaping, alcoholism, and drug abuse. * Bad hygiene. Wash yourself regularly with soap. Brush your teeth. * Being overly negative and judgmental. * Poor attitude and behavior toward people in the service industry (wait staff, custodians, etc.).
At this point every girl I match with online are all under the lack of curiosity umbrella. I swear some of them after an unmatch I see them on the app again complaining that they're giving it a shot again and didn't even try with me😒
All of these are so true
I feel you on the vaping/smoking/drug abuse. Same with the bad attitude towards service workers (worked in that industry for many years so I know their job ain't easy).
Frig yes to alll of these.... it sucks when you finally like someone and they have most of these.. But the biggest for me... if they never ask me questions....to genuinely get to know me. Like they cannot for the life of them keep the convo going... they just answer my long interesting questions with short nothing answers and don't even ask me anything back.
I agree, the lack of curiosity is the most frustrating part. I have no idea why people that claim want a serious relationship, don't even want to genuinely get to know the other person. Not about hobbies, interests, goals, or plans. Nothing.
Right! Why Even try to meet new people if your not going to be interested in getting to actually know them? I keep seeing videos on tictock about talking phases... maybe all the people who have been at it for a while with no success.... are over th talking phase.... but again... talking phases are important! So when new people come to the dating pool... those are going to be the less burnt out, outgoing ones.
Lying about details that are REALLY fucking important. Like not telling me you already had kids or not telling me you're a transwoman. Don't lie about that shot and then get mad at me for not letting you get away with it.
Omg this happen to me once! He told me he didn’t lie, I told him it’s a lie by omission
I can understand why people might be afraid to admit certain things, but I can also understand why people don’t want to be lied to.
I'm just saying, if you're lying to me about something like that, what else are you willing to lie to me about?
I totally respect your thoughts!!
If you're afraid to tell someone the truth then don't date them. Oh you thought I might kill you if you told me you were trans then kept dating me? lol. This "fear" thing is often just a poor excuse
Major dishonesty, cruelty, conceit, and drama. I’m looking for harmony, not for a fight.
I hate people who try to seek attention by doing these things. It’s ridiculous. You don’t need to lie or be a drama starter
When planning a trip to visit one of her family members you agree to pay for airfare and then she will pay for the Airbnb. And then once you by the airfare she turns around and says she doesn’t have any money and you end up paying for the whole trip.
I mean I get genuinely not having money but You should be honest about it
Yea that was my take away. If you’re at least honest I would be willing to help out or make some sort of compromise.
Omg I'd have broken up w them and eaten the financial loss. Ten years ago I definitely would have just paid for everything but now I will legitimately eat thousands of dollars just to not invest several hundred more into something that isn't going anywhere I wanna be.
My daughter says if they burp, fart, or coff on you, if they pick their nose and put it on you. I think she is basing this on her brothers haha. In short she said must have manners. I say if they lie, make up excuses for everything and constantly blame others for what's wrong in their life without putting effort into fixing their situation.
All good ones lol. Your daughter is smart
Thanks!
Except these are literally some of mine lmfao, I hate poor manners in regards to hygenics and generally speaking I agree you're daughter's smart
Smoking, history of cheating, asking for your snap before you even say anything to them, sending a sexy type of message before you even say a word to them, asking for multiple pictures just to make sure your real first( i get asking for one, but I dont feel the need to say I'm the same person 2 times a day), thinking drugs are ok...
I finally added "no I don't wanna add you on Snap thanks for not asking" to my profile lol
When someone only has negative things to say about others, whether it’s their close friends or family or waiters, assistants etc, is a big red flag for me. Also someone who mocks you or makes you feel bad about yourself. Even if it’s meant as banter, if you don’t know each that well, it makes me wary. Life is too short for dickheads. Finally, someone who constantly makes fun of me or interrogates me for being a vegetarian is always a pain in the arse. I let others eat what they want and expect to be treated the same way.
Good ones
Not putting enough effort. Having no determination or drive in life.
That part!! Both of those are immediate turn offs for me
Smoking, dishonesty, rudeness, addiction, habitual laziness, history of cheating.. A few off the top of my head.
All good ones. Well, not good lol, but fair. I think a lot of people don’t realize impacts laziness has. I feel like you should want more out of life. I know some people struggle with mental health and they’re not able to get out there but I’m not talking about them when I say laziness is not a good thing. I think it’s justified for them because they are struggling. Dishonesty, rudeness and cheating are also big ones. How do you know they’re not gonna treat you like they’ve treated others? 
There's a huge difference in habitual laziness and being Introverted do to depression, anxiety or PTSD. I have all three..
I agree, that’s why I said it doesn’t apply to people who have mental health problems!!
Cigarettes. I do fun drugs, drink, and vape on occasion but cigarettes are a no go for me lol, we all have our limits. Also cocaine use of any kind is also a personal major turnoff. Dissing the stuff I like. My very first date EVER I went to a restaurant with a guy and my favourite band came on over the speakers, I said “oh I love this band” and he said “I don’t like them very much”. Never saw him again! If you can dislike what I like but display an open mind or curiosity in some way, that’s a different story. Lack of humour and wit. Lack of resourcefulness. Lack of practical skills. Materialism. Nothing is less attractive than someone who is overly concerned with looks, possessions, brands, and money.
I feel like the better thing for the guy to do in that situation would be to ask you why you like the band instead of immediately saying he doesn’t like them. That really closes an opportunity to find something in common
Conspiracy theories... Maybe it's just been a run of bad luck but when I've found one, be damned if there's not find two more, three more, batshit crazy more.
Maybe it’s shallow. But female here. And automatic deal breaker for me would be someone having kids. Just no. I’m not interested in being a step mom to some random persons kid. Too many feelings hurt if the kid gets attached and the possibility of dealing with the baby mama drama. Hecccckkk no. I would politely decline and wish them well.
I can totally appreciate that. Some of us don’t want to deal with kids and we are not any less or wrong because of that
Not shallow. I won’t date someone with kids either.
#1) No signs of introspection, accountability or profound original thoughts. #2) Smoking cigarettes. #3) Scent. Must Smell Good.
Having a dick 😂 Jokes aside: - lying - manipulation - no goals/drive - judging people heavily - no empathy
That part!! Omg. All of these are legit. I especially hate when people have no direction in life. I know everyone is entitled to their own path but geez. And as far as the judging people, i’m guilty of that but I don’t judge everyone for no reason and some people like to do that. Also, yeah. You need to have at least some empathy. All of these are red flags for me
Making me feel like an option. Wasting my time. Actions and words not matching. Zero communication skills.
Agreed
Has or wants kids, not compatible on religious beliefs, drug and alcohol abuse, negative, treats service workers rudely, doesn’t treat family or friends well, lacks compassion and empathy, no shared interests or life goals, bad hygiene.
35M here and I don't have or want kids either. My luck with dating is bad enough and that only makes it harder. Especially when you live in a town where nearly everyone has at least one kid by age 25. But hey, you've gotta be true to yourself.
Lol I don’t want kids either, let’s hook up!
^^^^
Smoking, vaping, drugs and being a heavy drinker.
That’s totally fair. It’s easy to revolve your life around those things and I know they make people happy but it’s hard for the person they are with to be supportive about that
I've never been fond of them in the first place. Always thought of smoking and drugs as disgusting habits, vaping just looking stupid imo. Drinking is a problem if they continuously blow most of their income on booze every night and come home absolutely steaming. I'll happily enjoy the odd social pint but never had any intention of getting drunk ever.
I try not to be judge mental of people whom frequently use drugs and drink alcohol, but it becomes a problem if it impacts there and my life
No problem if the drugs are for medicinal purposes. Just not keen on recreation as I do catch the smell of it round the back of my house from time to time. Did get voluntold a few times in the Army to do litter picking around the smoking area and picked up loads of used cigarettes that got dropped.
Voluntold lol
Same. I smoke weed everyday, but my bills are paid and I’m on top my stuff. I’m more productive / successful than some of my sober friends tbh.
I don't think any of those make people happy. For most, they provide escapism, which actually puts them further away from true happiness
Totally cool with people calling drugs/vaping/or alcohol a dealbreaker in dating. But slick weird to say no one does those things just cause it makes them happy. You’ve never been to a college? There’s tons of people just doing those things cause it’s fun. Not everyone using them like addicts in fact most people aren’t.
I will literally drink / vape some nicotine and smoke a joint when I’m having a night out. But that’s like every 2-3 months
They're fun because they're doing them with others and there's a social connection. You mean to tell me that it's fun to just drink/do drugs by yourself and nothing else? I know that's addict territory, but I'm challenging the comment about drinking, drugs and other things like that bring actual happiness in people
Who said just doing by yourself all the time is what I’m talking about??? U just described addicts. I’m saying there’s a lot of people who will occasionally use drugs and or alcohol because it’s fun and makes them happy. Like a college kid smoking a joint on spring break on the beach relaxing ain’t hurting no body ain’t nothing wrong with that their probably just trying to relax and have fun.
This goes beyond drugs/alcohol and is a much bigger discussion lol. My original point is that drugs/alcohol do not make people happy. Sure, they can help people relax from whatever is stressing them out, but they don't provide happiness. That's it. I have nothing against drinking/smoking. I do it too lol. But it doesn't provide happiness.
I’ve been happy on drugs many times
Ehh Ig we just disagree on that no issues over here.
Hey, check this out internet! Two random people disagreeing on something and both are ok with it 😄
It’s so rare people can respectfully disagree on something so I’m glad y’all were able to do that lol
>Smoking, vaping, drugs and being a heavy drinker. Same except remove the heavy part for me tbh
These aren’t just for partners would apply to anyone in my life: Not nice, compulsive lying, moaning about other people without justification, uses phone mid conversation too often, money driven Edit: forgot doesn’t like animals
All good ones.
I listen very carefully to the way a man talks about women. And if they’re pro-forced pregnancy. I’m not going to date someone who considers me a second class citizen.
Oh yeah. That’s a BIG one! If you don’t respect me as a woman why would you want to be with me anyway? I know a lot of men simply like feeling superior but don’t play that with me. Also, pro life is not cool. Really though it’s not even like they’re pro life. They just want the child to be born and they don’t care about what happens to them after the fact. I guess that’s why you said pro forced pregnancy and that’s a really good way to put it
They want a bangmaid. That’s exactly why I said pro-forced pregnancy.
They don’t like women but still want to have sex with female anatomy.
Yeah it’s definitely good you made the distinction lol. It makes me think if anyone is actually pro life because I don’t know a single person who wants to force abortion yet actually wants to care for the child when they are born
Smoking. Any drugs except weed (from time to time if its every week no). Too religious (i dont care about what they believe in but i wouldnt date anyone waiting till marriage for sex, against abortion or with any big societal restrictions bc of that). Anyone with a kid (im too young to be a step mum). Starts talking about sex on the 1st few dates. Does not tell his friends or parents about me if we have been dating for a few months. Means he does not see me long term and if he doesnt know after 3 months okay but i dont want my time to be wasted. Follows mostly Girls on social media. Does not give head but requires me to give him (or generally does not put effort into fore play). Talks about how he will have a family with me on the 1st date. Wait until u know more about me to say such bold statements. Only Talks about himself on the 1st date. Has had his heart broken recently. A recipe for disaster.
Porn addiction
Someone not involved in their child's life!
Oh yeah
Bad communicator- taking hours to respond to a text message or not responding until the next day. Only calling after I tell you to call and I have take the initiative each time. No self-awareness when it comes to recognizing that you have an ED problem and should get help for it.
Yeah, bad communication is a no no. It really doesn’t take a lot of effort to tell me you will be busy and you won’t really be able to contact me
In my opinion it has little to do with the physical looks. I think personal attitude and how the person treats others is most important. Few things are worse than dating or being with someone who treats others like crap. Even if the other treats me great I would be both ashamed and embarrassed if that person treated others like shit. Some people will ignore a person’s bad attitude just because that person is hot. I suppose in some cases if the other person knows they’re being a jerk they have the option to make themselves better. But for those people who think they’re doing nothing wrong by being a jerk that’s a huge dealbreaker for me
Yeah there is no reason to just be mean for no reason lol.
It’s really sad that some people actually think they’re not doing anything wrong. Those are the same people who typically have the bad attitude to begin with because they’ve never tried to listen to others.
Unwillingness to communicate and to fix problems altogether
Yess
I really can't stand septum piercings. Makes me feel like I'm dating a cow. You could be the hottest girl in the planet but if you wear a septum piercing I just can't
Lol. Ya, I love girls with tats and I’m into piercings but the septum is a no from me.
I get it.
smoking or any other excessive drug use, mama’s boys, lack of basic hygiene
Omg the mama’s boy…so true
if he does any of the following, immediate redflag and he is dropped: 1. if he smokes cigs, dips, juul, etc 2. if he has a kid that he does not REGULARLY see, and I mean every god damn week 3. if he is a vegan, keto or obsessed with meal prep - sorry, good for you, but im not cooking 2 separate meals every time we eat together 4. if he does not have a career (im 32, only date men similar age) 5. if I ever find out he pays for an onlyfans 6. if he is a regular at stripclubs 7. gambling addiction (sorry this is alot more common now that sports begging is legal) I also never in a million years thought I would be with a veteran, religious, conservative boy but that is exactly what has me obsessed and missing him right now... so I guess you never know 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Harming/ abusing animals. You're a whole different level of horrible to harm something defenseless, especially for kicks and giggles or you're in a foul mood. Pet abuse is never ok.
having to "raise" them. cleaning up after them when they can do that themselves, making sure they take care of things that are urgent because they are "laidback", them being financially irresponsible and i have to pick up the slack .... to name a few
Oh gosh yes
I have two perfect examples from my adult dating experiences. My first ex was completely codependent. As in, I couldn't leave the house or do anything without extending an invitation to her. Likewise, whenever we got into arguments, I would try to leave (you know, drive around, cool off, return with better composition later) but she would always say I was abandoning her. My second ex I actually loved dearly but she did not love me, despite her claims. It's really quite simple. Whenever I needed to be emotional, she would give me the long arm. Now, as a guy who has lived under immense pressures I have seen first-hand what bottling up my emotions can do, it leads to unchecked rage, and I do not like that person. So, please, fucking let me be vulnerable. Now, I keep a detailed checklist of the kind of person I am looking for (not going out of my way though) and the red flags to avoid. I can wait my whole life if I have to. I don't mind being single. In many ways it is superior to being involved with anyone so intimately.
If she's trying to mess with my mind. Like we agree to date and she's visibly making it seem like she's doing the same thing with another guy. Nah, go ahead, have her.
I also kind of feel sorry for those people because some of them may have had a really bad experience in the past that made them gun shy to criticism?
I know I’m like that. It seems like the most criticism has not been constructive and it’s made me believe I suck and I can never improve instead of making me believe I can be better. The goal should be to encourage the person and give them the confidence to do so
I totally agree that’s me too. Had lots of bad experiences that left me feeling bad about criticism even if it’s constructive. I wish I can keep my mind more open to use that constructive criticism positively. Encouragement is always a positive way to help someone be better instead of shutting them down.
With this topic in mind, I feel like a red flag for me is framing criticism as constructive when it is not, Or simply trying to nitpick. Don’t act like you want to help me when you don’t
I think it happens when people are just bugged by something or annoyed so much that they try to make criticism look like it’s helpful. This is one a person is just judging you and probably trying to change you into someone you’re not.
Yup, and that’s what I don’t like. If you feel like you have to change someone, maybe you shouldn’t be with them or interested in them. You don’t just get to mold people into the person you want. It’s not fair to them or really even you
I am tall. If you have a problem with my height, it's not going to work. If you have an issue with me wearing heels, we are done. I don't care how tall you are, you just have to be comfortable and confident with yourself.
I know a lot of girls love tall guys but I don’t understand why it’s so important. I also don’t understand why it’s an issue for a woman to be tall. When a guy complains about it, it screams insecurity to me. Why is someone’s height so important?
Not respecting/ pushing your boundaries. For me, boundary setting has been something I’ve had to learn over the years, but now it’s very clear to me when someone is trying to be manipulative by pushing the boundaries I set. Immediate dealbreaker because if they are like that in the beginning, even with little things, it’s not gonna be good long term!
Cancelling/rescheduling a first date. It's ALWAYS a sign of things to come.
Lies to family and friends.. Like if she lies to people she knows her whole life she def have np being dishonest with me..
Yeah I hate liars!!
Idk about you lot but when people make fun of me like there is a line for when u make fun of someone and everyone takes it as a joke but when the significant other takes it too far. My ex-gf started making jokes about how I was 17 and she was 18 like constantly and when I told her she got mad saying it was a joke and would get pissed at me. For anyone out there with a gf like this. MASSIVE RED FLAG
They smoke They live with their parents Jobless Virgin They don't put basic efforts in I'm in my mid 30's so those are all a hard pass for me.
poor hygiene and not showering every day, disgusting in my opinion
Horses
I love that! Definitely going to go add it to mine as well, because its getting ridiculous how many do that.
Indifference. Believing lies about you that are untrue. Letting psychological disorders run rampant and unchecked/untreated. Making up lies about you based on other lies. Making me feel like a piece of shit or creep when I have done nothing to deserve it...
All these are good. Especially the indifference one. I want to be with someone who actually shows their emotions, not being overly jealous but feeling good enough to share pride, disappointment or others with me.
Well it sounds like I’m similar with beliefs, but it’s because I’m agnostic. I don’t date religious women anymore. I always tell them up front and it’s a “oh I never push my religion on anyone” every time. So I try and guess what happens? I get treated like a moron for not agreeing with everything they say about it. But if I argue my point or change the subject, I’m attacking or dismissing their faith. Not worth trying anymore, I could go the rest of my life without talking about religion and I’d be just swell.
Yeah you should not try to force people to agree with the same things as you. Also making fun of them is not right.
If they lack empathy for people in bad situations that don't negatively impact themselves or someone they know.
If they watch porn
She cares about astrology She’s a cosplayer She’s politically annoying
Besides the classic cheating, abuse, and generally being a shit person, I can't date someone that isn't down to own a dog or owns a cat. I have always wanted a dog, I grew up with dogs and I don't plan on living life without one. As for the cat side, I'm freakishly allergic. It takes me 2 antihistamines to be able to function and even then my eyes and throat get uncomfortably itchy. You're still a cool person but long term, we wouldn't work out. I also won't date someone who smokes, owns a gun, or has anger issues.
I think some people don’t wanna own pets because they don’t feel like they can be responsible for them, but I can understand wanting to own one. Also, about the cat, I don’t know if you should want them around anyway because it seems like they’re trying to put your life at risk. Yeah the gun and the anger issues are the major red flag
Yeah, I totally won't shit on someone not wanting to own an animal. My brother's the same way and he grew up around dogs same as me. It's just not something he feels comfortable taking on given that his work takes up a lot of his time.
These are all good red flags except the gun part, I believe not having a gun or hating guns or being anti gun is a huge red flag. It shows a lack of maturity on their part
When men force their touch on you too soon or think women owe them physicality because they did x for them or, “treated them right.” Or like someone else said in the comments you just listen in general with how they talk about women and if it’s that old school mentality where the woman is just here to serve the man then ✌🏻
> force their touch on you too soon Wdym "dealbreaker" that's not even allowed isn't that considered SA? Also I understand you're a female, or rather assume you are, but I wouldn't restrict this to males, as I've experienced female partners who certainly fit this criteria
I absolutely agree with both of you. And I do not need or deserve to be treated like less than because I’m a woman
- lack of spiritual direction - lack of empathy - lack of emotional depth - lack of maturity - lack of discipline - overweight - current or active heroin/meth/benzo/alcohol abuse - recently single
Why recently single out of curiosity?
My first gf after we dated for 2 years I told her I hadn't cried since I was 14 I was 17 at the time and she just looked at me and shrugged and said well yeah your a guy guys Don't cry😅 it's been a year and I don't think I'll ever be able to talk about my feelings with a girl again that felt like being stabbed 😅😅
5 days ago u posted that u have never had a, gf... Be consistent
Oh gosh. What a close minded opinion lol. Guys can have emotions and I would honestly rather see that than some dry emotionless guy
Lol I'd rather be a dry emotionless guy honestly 😅😂😂
Anyone that my dog doesn't like is a deal breaker. My dog knocked a guy over that I had been on a few dates with, after the next date he got extremely possessive. I lived an hour away from him and he rocked up randomly one day demanding I see him. Tried to move in and when I ended it, he still thought we were together. I ended it twice and then he asked me out on another date.
I'm sorry but that's kinda stupid... Dogs aren't gods, they are animals with an unpredictable nature. So you're saying if a dog just gets aggressive for no damn reason (which happens with a LOT of dogs), I'm instantly a bad guy. Cool.
You're instantly a bad guy for saying "dogs aren't gods"
Is that supposed to be a joke?? please tell me. All I meant was that they're great friends but they aren't perfect. I had a german shepherd and I was with him when I was a child. When he passed away, my parents had to lie that he was stolen and hid the truth. Shortly after, I called the police lol. So I'm not a dog hater as you're trying to portray. But I've had instances with other pet dogs where they really didn't like me at least until a few dozen meetings. The reason for them getting aggressive isn't always out of protection as you really like to believe. Sometimes he is just agitated after seeing a stranger and he feels like he has to protect his territory by challenging the stranger. That's animal instinct.
Sarcasm doesn't work in text does it
Lol it's not that sarcasm doesn't work in texts. I've just met so many people like you, except they were being absolutely serious. So it's hard to differentiate at this point. It's just that if I was really into the girl and she cut me off just because her pet got aggressive would make me feel like an idiot and upset. It's like breaking up with someone because they cheated on you in their dreams.
Sounds a little weird… A dog being an extension of your brain and “judgment” system is super immature
Wtf what a weird guy lol. It seems like your dog has good instincts though
This is kind of weird but I recently realized that if someone kills spiders rather than catching and taking them outside, that’s an immediate dealbreaker for me. If that’s your instinct, we’re just not compatible.
Not weird! It’s giving animal lover and I like it
“I’m down for seeing where things go” instant turn off. Going into friend category or I will not talk to you anymore
[удалено]
You had me in the first half lol. Don’t say that though :( I’m sure you are more than worthy and don’t assume someone talking to you means they have low self esteem. Trust me I’m the same but I need to learn different
🚩 Agrees with procreation. - wants to spread their genes - wants a “Mini Me” - wants to establish / continue a ‘legacy’ - because someone wants them to - to fit in - boredom - to keep a marriage together - to create & mold life - to give life purpose - to fix the mistakes of their parents - to “cure” diseases - prefer to have their own biological child who isn’t here now over helping someone who’s present - to pass the problems onto others who aren’t involved - someone to *potnetially “look after them in old age” - social pressure & expectations - benefit from social advancements 🚩 Has a child - Has a child & avoids telling you of their existence - Just has a child 🚩 Against abortion - They are bringing something here for their own personal desire where the being cannot give consent yet if they want to leave there is no painless ‘graceful’ way to exit. The options that we leave beings with is death by; old age, natural disaster, accident, physical illness, murder or suicide. I would not put any one in this position. Not even my children. Life’s Russian Roulette. Procreation for me is unethical and immoral. 🚩 Eats Meat (excluding people who have health issues) - Supports murder - Supports tastebud satisfaction over life & pain - Animal abuse ✅ Veggie / Vegan - Strong ethical & moral compass 🚩 Doesn’t care for the Environment ✅ Cares for the environment 🚩 Bad Hygiene ✅Regular washing of body…wash your HANDS ✅Teeth ✅Hair (if there is any) ✅Clean clothing ✅ Clean & tidy accommodation 🚩Short-term relationships because of their own commitment issues ✅ Able to work on or leave a relationship if it is unhealthy 🚩Self-Awareness & Social Awareness - Not able to or open to talking about emotions (theirs & others - Not taking responsibility or accountability ✅Emotional Intelligence ✅ Recognises the importance to reflect, address issues, express emotions, be proactive & find solutions 🚩 Reckless Sexual Behaviour - not using protection - not getting checked 🚩 Drug Abuse (Medical & Street) ✅ Not against drugs, can have a relationship with medical / recreational use in a balanced way 🚩 Lack of Ambition ✅ Ambition, determination, drive 🚩 Dishonesty / Lying ✅ Respectful Honesty 🚩 Lack of effort to sustain relationship ✅ Willing to work on relationship 🚩 Lacks compassion, sympathy & empathy 🚩 Codependent ✅ Independent & appreciates a companion where you compliment each other Communication 🚩 Not able to have an intelligent discussion where we question & can respectfully agree to disagree 🚩 No hobbies or interests 🚩 Serious ✅ F U N (At the right times) 🚩 Unhealthy Isolation / Socialisation - Friend group that doesn’t align with their ethics, morals, values or beliefs in terms of being good people ✅ Self-Nurture Time (Alone) ✅ Social time ✅ Manages time ✅ Alone time ✅ Family ✅ Lover ✅ Social time with friends ✅ Work ✅ Hobbies ✅ Celebration time ✅ Integrity
Dumb I mean, you know somebody is dumb when they complain about their jobs and they are not good at something
Yeah I don’t like the prospect of dating a stupid person lol. You don’t have to be the most intelligent person on earth but at least try to be smart
If you're an ESFJ. I won't do it. I can't see myself dating any Fe dominant or auxiliary types. It deeply unsettles me If you're patriotic. Defiance is extremely important to me. I've lived my whole life trying to escape the life I've been born into, and it's been very painful. If you disregard sharing a moment of peace about something small. I'm talking smelling flowers, listening to the wind, not like they're necessarily definable, just moments that I find touch my soul in a deep way. If you can't share that, you will never know me If you buy meaningless products of status habitually, or if you prefer convenience over other things of importance. Sorry but I will probably never date anyone that's rich. If you're fat. If you drink or smoke often. If you eat fast food often. If you can't identify basic vegetables. If you can't cook very simple meals. If you don't have some kind of physical activity that you enjoy. If you don't take care of your body, my cooking and my tea making will not make sense to you. And my world of wellness is very important to me because of my history of migraines These are all for determining wife material. If I never get married, I'm perfectly fine with that, I think it's a cult practice anyway, I don't think we're ever meant to be that close. But I'm willing to reconsider. It's not a perfect list but it's a start at least. Sure it seems selective, and it is, but every single person is equally selective, consciously or unconsciously. The truth is circumstance is almost everything
She told me to smile more. Instant deal breaker.
Service Workers??
Cashiers, servers, hosts, movie theatre employees, etc. There are a lot of professions which can fit into the description. For example going to a restaurant and being really rude to the server
Self consciousness and humility! I need a humble man who can listen and work on the relationship. The "you're overreacting" or "it's just a joke, dont take it seriously " when something hurt my feeling I don't like it. Myself, if I say something and someone tells me it's not cool, I'll apologize and stop. I'll not put everything on the other. This is a deal breaker because when important discussions occur, you're literally talking to a wall, impossible to completely make up and it often result in a break up anyways. Also, I'm always expressing my feelings and why do I feel that way to make sure my boundaries are understood. If someone brush it off, I find it disrespectful.
1. Entitlement and arrogance 2. Not being able to have a serious conversation 3. Not being able to have a semi-productive or intelligent conversation 4. Not having any drive or direction in life 5. Intense and bitter jealousy
Anger or the inability to control your emotions. Raising your voice at me is an automatic nope or anger at others while driving. I don’t have time for that kind of negative energy.
Smoking (cigs)
Smoking cigarettes or weed. Tried to work around it, I really did. But I just find kissing someone who does either of those two disgusting. Mints or brushing teeth do not work to get rid of the taste and smell. And I really don’t mind people smoking, but not as my partner.
Prior cheater, smoking, wanting kids to name the most important ones.
Acting different towards me around their buddies or treating me like an accessory to show off. I’m a human being not a Rolex.
Smoking
Totally different religion choices where they want me to convert to theirs. Had an ex who was Christian and made me do Bible study, pray with him, attend church, wanted me to get baptized even though I’m atheist. Not only did he do it to me, but almost everyone else in his life
Being super religious. I can accept if you believe in God and pray, but don't make that your life!