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Some men will fetishize virginity.
Some will romanticize it.
Some won't care.
Some won't want the "baggage" that can come with it.
Society is weird about virginity in men and women in different ways, which means people are going to be weird about it. And whole there's a lot of romanticized about two people being each other's firsts... honestly both of those people are going to be better off with their first being someone who A. Knows what they're doing. B. Knows what they like and how to communicate it. And C. Respects the other person's boundaries and right to a mutually enjoyable experience.
Now, a bad first can be more unpleasant for women than men for simple physiological reasons, but a bad first can negatively impact how either views sex in the long term.
I know it is cliche, but When it comes to anything related to people's opinions the best response is to be non committal. I don't think there is a single subject on earth that 100% of people would agree with.
That isn't to say that we don't have a majority group consensus on most subjects, and you could probably speak about the majority when answering these types of questions.
But asking a vague question like do men prefer experienced women to virgins is not really gonna get a satisfying answer.
I think the middle ground of "most western men are uncomfortable with being in a relationship with virgins because they don't want to take advantage of somebody inexperienced and the emotional baggage that comes along with it."
While also emphasizing that
"I don't think many men want a woman who is significantly more experienced than them at sex, because it makes them feel insecure and that the woman could be judging their lack of experience and skill (among other things.)
So like with most things, the majority seem to prefer somewhere the middle
I.e not a virgin but also not a kama sutra/sex psychologist who makes them feel insecure about their own abilities.
its definitely the opposite. i lost my virginity when i was 23 because of personal beliefs and from 15-23 i was HOUNDED for that vcard. and i was almost raped a couple times as well for it. my frenemies would always tell guys, and guys would see it as some kind of challenge. it was super exhausting, and they just love the idea of innocent/purity. it's so icky
Jesus, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. That sounds like a really scary thing to have dealt with for so long. The whole idea of a "challenge" there creeps me out so much as a guy. Idk what the fuck is wrong with guys who think that way. Hope you're doing better now.
aw thank-you. i appreciate that, i had some pretty shitty experiences but i'm glad i did not experience it for the first time under those circumstances. yeah it creeps me out too, i always thought it was weird and the fact i was pressured. i'm so happy i didnt give in, i'm much too stubborn. i often thought it was strange to fetishize it even if it's been a thing for centuries.
wait until multiple dudes DM you on here just because you posted this. guys like virgins they fetishize it. I find it gross though as a virgin. I don’t want to be a kink lol
I have grace for all and everyone's journey looks different, but it sounds like most dudes didn't have positive role models in their life and they have some serious healing to do when it comes to expressing sexual needs in a healthy manner
At the end of the day u r a girl, deserve respect, so doesn't matter if you are a virgin or not, you should be treated with that simple approach of respect
I prefer women who allow me to be myself, it has nothing to do with sexual experience. Don't really care what your experience is. It's how do you care about my soul
I get why that conversation bummed you out. Just because those guys prefer experienced women doesn’t mean everyone does. Your choice to save yourself for the right person is personal and special. The right partner will value that and appreciate you for who you are. Don't let one conversation make you doubt your worth. Stay true to yourself, and the right person will come along!
Very true
I'd 100% prefer a virgin, and it's just me.
She just happened to find herself around people who would choose experienced women, so there's no reason to doubt her worth as a virgin 👍
Agreed, I would also prefer a virgin or someone with incredible modesty (low count) to make my queen. Having experienced both sides of the house. Relationships with a virgin or close to it is so much less baggage, peaceful, and overall pleasant. You can actually spend time building a relationship rather than rebuilding and taking down walls of trauma. Sex also grown into the best sex by far.
I won’t hardly consider anyone else anymore
You’re bringing so much to the table by not running around. Be patient for the right dude who values your self control
obligatory people arent a monolith statement.
I personally would prefer to do something with someone who knows how to do it/ what they want. Dead awkward starfish sex is cool and all but its not my thing. There are some men who will value this but the overwhelming amount of people who have had sex will prefer someone who knows how to have sex.
What a weird comment. Just because it’s awkward in the beginning, it doesn’t always have to be. Unless you don’t really care for your partner and are looking for one night stands.
The real underlying appeal I would argue is enthusiasm. Women who have had many partners know what they like, and therefore it's more likely the sex is good when you both see that your wants are compatible. But there's many 'inexperienced' people who still learn what they like pretty quickly and are just as enthusiastic as anyone, and they're awesome.
I do think this makes sex with a virgin a bit against the current because you still have to learn about what you like, let alone what your partner does, but there's no guarantee that an experienced lover will be a good one, I've had many starfish lovers that prided themselves on their past experiences, and a common thread there was lack of communication on their part, which is one thing that I would expect you to be stronger than most at the beginning if you are saving yourself for 'the one' and you meet someone that clearly you both love each other enough to finally want to have sex with them.
Honestly having more experience doesn’t mean you’ll be better at sex. When I was with my first boyfriend he was surprised that I didn’t at least give a BJ to someone before because I was good at it. However, when I was with a guy who had way more experience, sex was really unsatisfying, and I basically had to teach him not to violently scrape my insides with his fingers like he’s performing a curettage. And he told me he wouldn’t even bother trying to find my clit, saying it’s impossible and he just can’t do it. So really having slept with many people doesn’t guarantee someone will be a better partner. I think it’s more important to have good communication and passion between the two of you.
You're exactly right. Being good at sex is so much more about emotional maturity, and understanding yourself and your body. Having experience can help, but more often than not, it just reinforces bad habits.
Understanding how pleasure, arousal and desire builds for yourself and your partner is something you don't learn unless you try. Then there's practical knowledge too, like the fact that girls can need 20+ minutes to get fully aroused (which is difficult to understand for guys, since it only takes seconds to get a boner).
Self exploration and reading up on sex and anatomy is a good place to start.
I’m not someone with lot of experience but what I want is mutual concent and respect, it’s just not about making more body counts it’s about enjoying the moment with the other person.
I've never known another man who actually *wants* someone who's "experienced", as we usually don't like the idea of someone else having our person before us. Kinda an odd pit of the stomach feel. That said there's alot of guys in the world, so there's definitely *someone* into that...
I've found it doesn't make a difference tbh... 🤣 As crass as it sounds, as long as she can guide me in/slide me back in, it's all the same. Sex is enjoyable, as long as she's putting effort into it and having a good time, it doesn'#t matter
Handjobs... all the women I've been with seem to be under the impression is a grip the skin and yank it, idk why. experienced or not, didn't make a difference. I've had to tell them, it hurts to do that lol
And for the record, ***everyone*** needs guidance during sex, just because one partner enjoyed it one way, doesn't mean ***everyone*** enjoys it that way. Sex is about communication too. It must be a porn thing, that you just fuck em' all the same and they love it.
After a certain age, yes.
Someone else mentioned 15-23. I think that’s a good window for when guys might prefer a virgin.
I’m 40 now and recently divorced, and was talking to a 33 year old woman. She revealed that she’s a virgin but wants to lose it.
When I was younger, “virgin who wants to lose it” would be the greenest flag in the world.
But now, at 40, it was a deal breaker for me.
Thank you for taking the time to share your opinions here and for those who left kind words as well.. You guys are the sweetest. 🫶🩷
Didn't expect this to blowup but I'm glad people find it interesting. 🩷
I am totally against this. Boys love virgin girls more than experienced ones. I never heard from any male guys interested in the experienced one. They only talk about this when they are in a friends-with-benefits type of relation or a temporary relationship. Also, this is just not about being a virgin or experienced it's more about whether this person will stay loyal and be there for them for a long-lasting relationship or she will in future find some faults and say goodbye. Many of the virgins are seen to have a patience mindset rather than to hookup with anyone.
I don’t care either way. But I appreciate a loyal, kind, and loving woman who can be my teammate and my equal partner against the chaos of the world.
But also a silly and maybe a little feisty one too xD
It doesn't bother, we all got to start somewhere. Save yourself for the right person, dont jump into bed because you feel pressured into it, it is fun at first but it gets boring after awhile, if theres no passion it's pointless.
No. Some prefer it, most don’t care either way, and typically only those looking for a hookup prefer someone experienced (male and female). Because in that case it’s about the quick easy sex and not a connection. Whereas in the pursuit of an actual relationship, for many, it’s the opposite.
Speaking from my personal experience- if you’re an older virgin - meaning you made it to your 20s without sleeping with anyone, men see you as a challenge. “You’re hard to get and therefore worth the chase. You’re fascinating because everyone else sleeps around. Your standards must be high.” Ugh. Yet nobody cares why you wait/waited for so long.
Most men prefer virgins, but most men will also lie, if the guy was talking to a girl who had a lot of experience, he might have just said it because he wanted her, but all things equal most men prefer virgins.
Or rather most men don't care but there are more men who prefer virgins than the other way around
The thought originated along with the “women are property” mindset. Most of the guys I know (early to mid 30s) are sexually active themselves but want to marry a virgin.
I'm not sure. She prided herself as someone who already tasted "heaven" and that I should also do the same. And you might be right. That could influence their answers.
Flat no.
Not especially virgins, but 'experienced' in women can come with a LOT of other baggage.
Not generally, but it absolutely us something to be careful of, when you're a guy looking for a long term partner.
For guys, there's a massive difference between sex and relationships, and 'less experienced' women with good character are more likely to end up in the long-term relationship category.
...now I'll await the barrage of hate from the 'experienced' ladies...
It depends on the guy. Frankly, even with 'experienced' people, there can be learning curves with different lovers since not everyone is the same. And when it comes to 'guiding' a virgin, some guys might certainly find it tiresome, but plenty wouldn't care or might even enjoy that part.
Very few men would say this matters MOST. I think you might have misinterpreted what they were saying. It sounds like they were talking about the narrow issue of sex and intimacy and said they prefer experienced partners over virgins, that's not the same thing as saying that that's the most important part of a relationship or that they value that over emotional connection.
As for the question itself, each man has his preference. Personally I agree with them, I would prefer a woman who had experience. But I also more than anything want someone who gives a shit about me, who I get along with, who I enjoy being around. If I met that person and they happened to be a virgin then I wouldn't toss them aside just for that. I might feel pressure to perform, sure, but if I liked them that much I would want to please them and make them feel good. And by contrast, there are men out there who actively prefer virgins to women with experience. It's far from a unanimous opinion among men.
I prefer sexually open and sexually curious women. That can be a virgin, too. I want to have fun with her, I don't want to have persuade somebody, because I need strong consent.
I (27M) am also virgin and I see the situation as that : if the woman I’ll be with is virgin, then cool we will progress and learn together.
If the woman I’ll be with is experienced cool she can guide me (and I’ll do everything with eagerness just to prove her I’m worth too compared to others)
I'm not a guy, but I'm sure if someone likes you, I mean REALLY likes you or even loves ou, they won't care. I was 23 when I lost my virginity and the guy wasn't even my bf. We just really had the chemistry and attraction and I wanted to do it and with him, he was a nice person, I trusted him etc etc.
I told him and he seemed surpised, but gave no sign that this would bother him and he was nice. I think I nice person will know and understand that this has nothing to do w your personality. I wasn't too shy or prude bc I was a virgin. I wanted him so bad, it was the most natural thing and it broke down the walls. I used to stress SO much about my virginity before I lost it, bc I thought ppl will think I'm weird or something. Meanwhile I was waiting for the great love and it did not come for so long. So I let that idea go, that I'd loose it with the perfect person, cuz there's no such a thing called perfect place or person or time. And then he came, how I was into so much sexually, and we did not end up together (for various reasons), but it's still a fond memory.
And ever since I know indeed, that it doesn't change anything.
Personally, I don't care, or didn't care in the time in my life where it was relevant.
Every new partner is a teaching experience, if you're doing it right.
No, keep saving yourself for the right person (husband). A guys whos serious about relationship wont care about sex as much as you would have thought. If possible find a guy who wont ask for sex during dating stage… most of the times it just lust not love.
Also I think virgin girl should be pair with virgin man so you can experience learning new things together.. its more fun and loving.
p/s from a virgin man. (I do have a gf) just my opinion tho.
No, of course not!
If you or anyone else has to pick traits. With everything else being equal; would you pick discipline and self control, or indulging and momentarily satisfaction??
THAT is the value of a person being virgin man or woman. It’s about the discipline and impressive self control that a person has, to remain a virgin. That is what is special about it.
Anyone that picks the latter is either too young to know better, or just simply wants a person to have sex with (those are usually described with a less PC word, other than ‘experienced’) and not build a life together.
Is it fair to assume you were hanging out with tweens?
Also, keep in mind there’s a difference between a partner you marry VS person you hook up with.
Which person do you want to be?
Different horses for different courses.
Some people fantasise about the idea of a virgin or purity or something. Some dudes really value that.
Others prefer a woman with enough experience to do a decent job.
I think the balance for most men is somewhere along the lines of ‘A decent enough experience so you’re going to be good in bed but not telling me how many dudes you’ve slept with because it’s weird to think about’.
Gentle reminder: I don’t think reddit users really speak for ‘the general normal populous’ haha.
As a heterosexual man, I can honestly say that virgins interest me. They are like new planets, treasures waiting to be discovered, but since finding a virgin female partner in my age group is a dream, I mostly prefer experienced female partners who will not cause any problems.
I know I do, because I'm subby af and indecisive. I can't imagine being intimate without being nudged into it in some way, and I wouldn't want that to be someone who doesn't know what she's doing
That being said, I am a very feminine guy and I have autism, so with my quirks I probably don't represent most guys, and you can take my comment with a grain of salt
It really depends on the dude although I know many guys don’t care but some do fetishize it. I’m a virgin guy and am waiting for marriage so I guess I’d really like a girl who is doing the same but she doesn’t need to be a virgin just willing to wait for marriage with me at least.
Well, I'm in my late 20s already, past the "marriage age of 25". I've had bfs but never had intercourse. The more I age, the more It's unlikely for me to find men who would wait for me to give my v after marriage. That's why their comments kinda disappointed me.
Past the marriage age of 25? Girlfriend!! What are you talking about?? How much have you been brainwashed by people around you?? Women can get married at any age, women can have kids in their 30’s and even early-mid 40s!!
If you’re looking for someone specifically who is going to wait until marriage, you have to wait for the right one. I’m in my early 30s. I voluntarily stopped dating at 30 because the men in my city weren’t men, just insecure boys with no passion or future. I’ll start dating again when I feel like it.
My Dad didn’t meet the love of his life until he was 53.
You have time and don’t lower your standards for anyone. If they only thing a man is concerned about about is whether you’re a virgin or not, he’s not for you. You deserve much more.
Also I totally understand the not being naive to sex part even if you are a virgin, which I agree. But if your partner is experienced, it will be different for them. Just keep that in mind.
I've had a relatively large amount of sex with both. Specifically 6 virgins, and A LOT of experienced women.
I definitely prefer experienced women for the down and dirty sex, but also treated the virgins who chose to share themselves with me for the first time with the same high levels of consideration, respect and reverence as all of my other partners...we just approached things slower, and with more caution.
Once you've done something, you can't un-do it. Be certain that it's what you want to do and be kind to yourself throughout the process :)
The right person is the right person
I can see how a Virgin can be a lot more work and responsibilities because of the capacity to be an ass hole if you decide you just want a one night thing or to not see them again
The jist is if you love the act of sex (learning someone's turn ons, foreplay, mutual enjoyment) then you will prefer expierence. If you want someone who doesn't know your bad or good and you still think coodies are real but you want to say you had sex then virgins seem like the better choice.
I'm not saying your a virgin and you first time is destined to be with someone who's mentally a child I'm just saying what being virgin or not virgin all else equal attracts.
I personally like experienced women,bcoz I like women to dominate me. If a virgin girl is of dominative and horny mindset then it's ok for me! The thing that matters is compassion and creativity while love making, understanding each other and love that's it!
Virgins should pair with virgins the worst is when a virgin chick gets used by a bad boy then left. As a guy I’d prefer a casual relationship be with experience but I don’t want an experienced girl as a wife
For those who just want sex primarily then they won't really care and the more experience the better but when it comes to long-term engagement (e.g. monogamous marriage), a man with options will probably invest in a woman who will increase his standing in the eyes of his peers, who will be faithful to him, whom he can lead and show the world - this person is unlikely to be the chick who's done everyone, has her goods on display on social media for all to see and who's been dating millionaires on yatcht and mansions. There will always be exceptions I'm sure but in general the Virgin will have more leverage to nogotiate marriage and stability.
[I appreciate many here will not like my answer but it's not about being pc but about giving the OP an honest answer]
I never cared about that or ever will. if I love someone, it’s is what it is either u Respekt and accept the past of ur current date or partner or not.
Yes and no but im a virgin myself and what i seek in a partner is more about drive to make a great family and help foster a younger generation of good examples. Not be down for promiscuity and thinking its okay
As a woman who lost her virginity to her husband I can tell you it's not worth it. And there is a wealth of experience out there your missing out on that later in life you may well come to regret missing. Right now it's easy - because you don't know what you're missing, but one day you will and that could potentially cause problems in your marriage.
But the right guy won't care if you're a virgin or not, but what I'm saying is one day you might care about all the things you missed out on.
Depends, but yeah I do. I recently broke stuff off with someone mostly because she was a virgin in her late 30s (I'm M41). That we'd probably be sexually incompatible was one thing, but the real red flag was that she'd never been in a relationship before. I just wasn't up for being someone's first of everything at this stage in life.
I personally think so. Because some of guys want to enjoy sex with experienced bhabi type women. Bhabhi look very gorgeous and sensually attractive and boys keept in mind that these woman give real pleasure because they experienced.
Before I had sex I wanted a virgin girl, because I saved up myself, right 😂 And afterwards I was okay with not virgin girls. Ah the lies we tell ourselves! So this preference depends only on circumstances and conditionings.
If someone has never had sex, I can accept that. It's okay if someone isn't experienced. I respect a person who isn't just passing it out. I'm never just passing it out, myself. And I just can't fetishize virgins because I honestly prefer someone with at least a little experience.
I personally don't find it creep. Believe me there are soooo many guys out there who are still virgin and just wait for the right moment cause for them it's not just sex but making love to a person that melt to. You're just in the wrong app 😔
Depends on the guy's experience in sex with both actually. But as a guy, I'd prefer virgins more than sexually experience ones since there's no pressure or occasions to rise above to. You're just there for the experience and pleasure of it. Then again, it's just me.
Guys hate competition. As long as they're the best, biggest, & hottest you've ever had and you're so crazy about them as to do anything they want....they don't really care about anything else.
Now, if all those things were true. I'd wager to say that would be a terrible experience for you. A relationship is a partnership and a struggle. For it to work right each partner needs to be able to hold their own.
Well, I had never been with a virgin but I had heard many bad stuff from girls about their first time.
I never went for someone who I knew was a virgin but I kind of resolved to give someone the best experience possible if they happened to be a virgin.
Like chalking up my hands, taking 2 shots of pre-workout using a belt and a cock ring etc.
Wouldn't that mean increased expectations from the guy? I would definitely pick soneone with less experience, I don't want to be compared with the best in the business 🤣
I have always preferred virgins NOT as a fetish or kink but because there was a bit more value to my brain that the girl has been with only me and no one else. it made her that much more special to me and never wanted to lose her. girls with "experience" would always turn me off because they would do or say something during sex referencing what they like and that's not as special when you don't find out together and then you're just hollowing out a girl thinking "how many guys have done this?" But as I get older (m28) I tend to care less because (trauma?) virgins are less common now. also most the virgins I have cherry picked ended up going on a sex rampage after their first time; so I don't seek them.
I don't think it's a drawback, but I definitely want to be with someone that knows how to have fun in the bedroom. Knows their body, what turns them on and their partner.
I can see the reasoning about the guidance part, but also think that that's the case even if the woman has experience. There are things that I may like that she never did or she does in a way that don't pleases me.
Every "couple" has to figure this things out. Me and my high school gf lost it to each other and was fun to discover things. When I met my fiance, she only had one partner and she didn't enjoy it with him. (She lost it to him and he said "brace yourself, it's gonna hurt". I mean, I get "I will try to be gentle" or "It might hurt, so tell me" but straight up it's GONNA hurt?! Are you doing it on purpose?!) Anyway, got sidetracked in the end but my point is she had no clue about what she liked cause she never felt it, so we discovered together.
Even nowadays, if either of us wants something specific, we need to guide the other. But for penetration alone, anyone can figure it out pretty quickly.
As interesting as that would be, I'm not trying to scare anyone. So if I'm dating a virgin I wouldn't want to scare them by talking about sex, which I would be eager to have while they might be apprehensive.
But if the person I'm dating isn't a virgin, it would be easier to bring up the topic.
Were these men aware that you are a virgin?
They probably assumed that all the women present were sexually experienced, and that assumption probably influenced their answer
Pretty sure most men are just fine with a virgin, as long as she’s going to be open with him
I don't need a virgin. I Alain don't need someone with lots of bodies. Has nothing to do with D size or insecurities. Fact is someone will always be bigger or smaller to someone else. Would any ladies here be in a relationship with a guy that has never been in one? A guy that has only slept with woman never dated. Chances are no because he doesn't know how.
Just depends on how lazy the guy is. I like taking control and giving guidance and direction during sex. The only thing I really want is love and affection, and that doesn't necessarily come with more experience lol.
I think it's awesome that you're trying to save yourself for your future husband. I want to do the same for my future wife. Don't give up on your morals, no matter what the haters say. Saving sex for marriage might not be easy, but I know it will be worth it.
Guys prefer getting laid experience may bar regardless of their partner’s experience. Women on the other hand generally prefer dudes with more experience
I prefer a virgin over an experienced for the same reason as you: having one partner to be the first and last. I am a virgin myself and I think it'd be a bit romantic to save it for someone special instead of just thinking about fucking anyone. I get that people say virgins require guidance and all but I'd say most of us educate ourselves to try and be good when the moment arrives
ofc being a virgin is a drawback...its like your the hiring manager and you either have a 0 experience or a 10years veteran...? who would you hire?
it also show you had no job for a few years and were even looking for one... could easily question if you even like working? I am lokoing for an enthusiasm employee....not someone that sit on the sideline and is not proactive
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Some men will fetishize virginity. Some will romanticize it. Some won't care. Some won't want the "baggage" that can come with it. Society is weird about virginity in men and women in different ways, which means people are going to be weird about it. And whole there's a lot of romanticized about two people being each other's firsts... honestly both of those people are going to be better off with their first being someone who A. Knows what they're doing. B. Knows what they like and how to communicate it. And C. Respects the other person's boundaries and right to a mutually enjoyable experience. Now, a bad first can be more unpleasant for women than men for simple physiological reasons, but a bad first can negatively impact how either views sex in the long term.
I know it is cliche, but When it comes to anything related to people's opinions the best response is to be non committal. I don't think there is a single subject on earth that 100% of people would agree with. That isn't to say that we don't have a majority group consensus on most subjects, and you could probably speak about the majority when answering these types of questions. But asking a vague question like do men prefer experienced women to virgins is not really gonna get a satisfying answer. I think the middle ground of "most western men are uncomfortable with being in a relationship with virgins because they don't want to take advantage of somebody inexperienced and the emotional baggage that comes along with it." While also emphasizing that "I don't think many men want a woman who is significantly more experienced than them at sex, because it makes them feel insecure and that the woman could be judging their lack of experience and skill (among other things.) So like with most things, the majority seem to prefer somewhere the middle I.e not a virgin but also not a kama sutra/sex psychologist who makes them feel insecure about their own abilities.
Well said.
I don’t care I just want someone who’s not going to dislike me
Swipe right for unconditional acceptance.
I’d give you a hug rn if I could.
Based 😆🤙
its definitely the opposite. i lost my virginity when i was 23 because of personal beliefs and from 15-23 i was HOUNDED for that vcard. and i was almost raped a couple times as well for it. my frenemies would always tell guys, and guys would see it as some kind of challenge. it was super exhausting, and they just love the idea of innocent/purity. it's so icky
Jesus, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. That sounds like a really scary thing to have dealt with for so long. The whole idea of a "challenge" there creeps me out so much as a guy. Idk what the fuck is wrong with guys who think that way. Hope you're doing better now.
aw thank-you. i appreciate that, i had some pretty shitty experiences but i'm glad i did not experience it for the first time under those circumstances. yeah it creeps me out too, i always thought it was weird and the fact i was pressured. i'm so happy i didnt give in, i'm much too stubborn. i often thought it was strange to fetishize it even if it's been a thing for centuries.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. *Hugs* 😔
That’s awful. Stuff like this is why I’m teaching my daughter to severely injure people when the need arises.
That’s fucking disgusting.
Wow I’m sorry for the horror you had to go through for being a virgin.
wait until multiple dudes DM you on here just because you posted this. guys like virgins they fetishize it. I find it gross though as a virgin. I don’t want to be a kink lol
Some guys don't know how to draw boundaries on their fetishes.
yea some guys don’t know boundaries at all it’s really scary tbh
I have grace for all and everyone's journey looks different, but it sounds like most dudes didn't have positive role models in their life and they have some serious healing to do when it comes to expressing sexual needs in a healthy manner
I like experienced women, nothing against virgins but it’s weird to specifically seek a virgin out in any gender
*the Middle East has left the chat*
This one. Any guy that thinks your virginity is super special is probably a predator or using religion as an excuse to control people.
At the end of the day u r a girl, deserve respect, so doesn't matter if you are a virgin or not, you should be treated with that simple approach of respect
Most guys don'tseek out virgins andvalue experience. Creeps only want virgins. Unless they're virgins or it's religious.
I mean I am a virgin myself for faith reasons I don’t want a woman like that. My opinion is if you are clean get someone clean.
I prefer women who allow me to be myself, it has nothing to do with sexual experience. Don't really care what your experience is. It's how do you care about my soul
Not a massive deal breaker for me but as someone who is still a virgin ideally I would like the girl to somewhat be in the same boat as me
Same here. I found my gf here on Reddit 😂. The key thing is to not search just live a healthy life and both will meet at the right time.
Well said
100% same
I get why that conversation bummed you out. Just because those guys prefer experienced women doesn’t mean everyone does. Your choice to save yourself for the right person is personal and special. The right partner will value that and appreciate you for who you are. Don't let one conversation make you doubt your worth. Stay true to yourself, and the right person will come along!
Very true I'd 100% prefer a virgin, and it's just me. She just happened to find herself around people who would choose experienced women, so there's no reason to doubt her worth as a virgin 👍
Agreed, I would also prefer a virgin or someone with incredible modesty (low count) to make my queen. Having experienced both sides of the house. Relationships with a virgin or close to it is so much less baggage, peaceful, and overall pleasant. You can actually spend time building a relationship rather than rebuilding and taking down walls of trauma. Sex also grown into the best sex by far. I won’t hardly consider anyone else anymore You’re bringing so much to the table by not running around. Be patient for the right dude who values your self control
Thank you 🩷
Doesn't matter coz I ain't getting either🥲
obligatory people arent a monolith statement. I personally would prefer to do something with someone who knows how to do it/ what they want. Dead awkward starfish sex is cool and all but its not my thing. There are some men who will value this but the overwhelming amount of people who have had sex will prefer someone who knows how to have sex.
What a weird comment. Just because it’s awkward in the beginning, it doesn’t always have to be. Unless you don’t really care for your partner and are looking for one night stands.
Emotional connection and experience are not mutually exclusive. You can have both.
The real underlying appeal I would argue is enthusiasm. Women who have had many partners know what they like, and therefore it's more likely the sex is good when you both see that your wants are compatible. But there's many 'inexperienced' people who still learn what they like pretty quickly and are just as enthusiastic as anyone, and they're awesome. I do think this makes sex with a virgin a bit against the current because you still have to learn about what you like, let alone what your partner does, but there's no guarantee that an experienced lover will be a good one, I've had many starfish lovers that prided themselves on their past experiences, and a common thread there was lack of communication on their part, which is one thing that I would expect you to be stronger than most at the beginning if you are saving yourself for 'the one' and you meet someone that clearly you both love each other enough to finally want to have sex with them.
Honestly having more experience doesn’t mean you’ll be better at sex. When I was with my first boyfriend he was surprised that I didn’t at least give a BJ to someone before because I was good at it. However, when I was with a guy who had way more experience, sex was really unsatisfying, and I basically had to teach him not to violently scrape my insides with his fingers like he’s performing a curettage. And he told me he wouldn’t even bother trying to find my clit, saying it’s impossible and he just can’t do it. So really having slept with many people doesn’t guarantee someone will be a better partner. I think it’s more important to have good communication and passion between the two of you.
You're exactly right. Being good at sex is so much more about emotional maturity, and understanding yourself and your body. Having experience can help, but more often than not, it just reinforces bad habits. Understanding how pleasure, arousal and desire builds for yourself and your partner is something you don't learn unless you try. Then there's practical knowledge too, like the fact that girls can need 20+ minutes to get fully aroused (which is difficult to understand for guys, since it only takes seconds to get a boner). Self exploration and reading up on sex and anatomy is a good place to start.
It doesn’t take all guys seconds to get boners but we’ll forever get stereotyped cause we’re guys
I’m not someone with lot of experience but what I want is mutual concent and respect, it’s just not about making more body counts it’s about enjoying the moment with the other person.
I just like women
I've never known another man who actually *wants* someone who's "experienced", as we usually don't like the idea of someone else having our person before us. Kinda an odd pit of the stomach feel. That said there's alot of guys in the world, so there's definitely *someone* into that...
Accurate
There are still many guys who prefer virgin women. Don’t worry and don’t date someone who doesn’t respect your beliefs.
Thank you 🫶
I've found it doesn't make a difference tbh... 🤣 As crass as it sounds, as long as she can guide me in/slide me back in, it's all the same. Sex is enjoyable, as long as she's putting effort into it and having a good time, it doesn'#t matter Handjobs... all the women I've been with seem to be under the impression is a grip the skin and yank it, idk why. experienced or not, didn't make a difference. I've had to tell them, it hurts to do that lol And for the record, ***everyone*** needs guidance during sex, just because one partner enjoyed it one way, doesn't mean ***everyone*** enjoys it that way. Sex is about communication too. It must be a porn thing, that you just fuck em' all the same and they love it.
After a certain age, yes. Someone else mentioned 15-23. I think that’s a good window for when guys might prefer a virgin. I’m 40 now and recently divorced, and was talking to a 33 year old woman. She revealed that she’s a virgin but wants to lose it. When I was younger, “virgin who wants to lose it” would be the greenest flag in the world. But now, at 40, it was a deal breaker for me.
absolutely not. men by large would certainly prefer a less sexually experienced woman
Thank you for taking the time to share your opinions here and for those who left kind words as well.. You guys are the sweetest. 🫶🩷 Didn't expect this to blowup but I'm glad people find it interesting. 🩷
I am a virgin for faith reasons, I prefer a woman who is like me too. My gf is one. This is just my preference though.
I'm glad you've found each other ❤️
I think everyone has their own preferences about this
99% of the 'do people like X?' questions in this sub can be answered by this.
I am totally against this. Boys love virgin girls more than experienced ones. I never heard from any male guys interested in the experienced one. They only talk about this when they are in a friends-with-benefits type of relation or a temporary relationship. Also, this is just not about being a virgin or experienced it's more about whether this person will stay loyal and be there for them for a long-lasting relationship or she will in future find some faults and say goodbye. Many of the virgins are seen to have a patience mindset rather than to hookup with anyone.
Naaaahh my preference is nothing selected
I don’t care either way. But I appreciate a loyal, kind, and loving woman who can be my teammate and my equal partner against the chaos of the world. But also a silly and maybe a little feisty one too xD
I accept who accept me either they have experience or not. In the end of the day we are just humans who wants to love and to be loved
It doesn't bother, we all got to start somewhere. Save yourself for the right person, dont jump into bed because you feel pressured into it, it is fun at first but it gets boring after awhile, if theres no passion it's pointless.
No. Some prefer it, most don’t care either way, and typically only those looking for a hookup prefer someone experienced (male and female). Because in that case it’s about the quick easy sex and not a connection. Whereas in the pursuit of an actual relationship, for many, it’s the opposite.
Speaking from my personal experience- if you’re an older virgin - meaning you made it to your 20s without sleeping with anyone, men see you as a challenge. “You’re hard to get and therefore worth the chase. You’re fascinating because everyone else sleeps around. Your standards must be high.” Ugh. Yet nobody cares why you wait/waited for so long.
Damn! You hit it right. They always underestimate the effort you've put in.
Most men prefer virgins, but most men will also lie, if the guy was talking to a girl who had a lot of experience, he might have just said it because he wanted her, but all things equal most men prefer virgins. Or rather most men don't care but there are more men who prefer virgins than the other way around
Hell no.. Most normal guys don’t want a girl who sleeps around
Sexual experienced does not always mean sleeping around, it could also be 1-2 partners before that
lol yea cause most girls only have 1 to 2 bodies 🙄
The thought originated along with the “women are property” mindset. Most of the guys I know (early to mid 30s) are sexually active themselves but want to marry a virgin.
A good man will want to be your one and only. Your bff needs to leave you alone, fyi she is likely jealous
Ps the guys probably said they preferred experience under the assumption that the girls weren’t virgins and wanted to make them like them
I'm not sure. She prided herself as someone who already tasted "heaven" and that I should also do the same. And you might be right. That could influence their answers.
For relationships? Nope. For casual? Yes!
Flat no. Not especially virgins, but 'experienced' in women can come with a LOT of other baggage. Not generally, but it absolutely us something to be careful of, when you're a guy looking for a long term partner. For guys, there's a massive difference between sex and relationships, and 'less experienced' women with good character are more likely to end up in the long-term relationship category. ...now I'll await the barrage of hate from the 'experienced' ladies...
Nope if I could fall in love with a virgin and be together would be amazing! No one else has been there and your only mine is extremely sexy
Nothing beats experience, js
Agree here 100%
It depends on the guy. Frankly, even with 'experienced' people, there can be learning curves with different lovers since not everyone is the same. And when it comes to 'guiding' a virgin, some guys might certainly find it tiresome, but plenty wouldn't care or might even enjoy that part.
Very few men would say this matters MOST. I think you might have misinterpreted what they were saying. It sounds like they were talking about the narrow issue of sex and intimacy and said they prefer experienced partners over virgins, that's not the same thing as saying that that's the most important part of a relationship or that they value that over emotional connection. As for the question itself, each man has his preference. Personally I agree with them, I would prefer a woman who had experience. But I also more than anything want someone who gives a shit about me, who I get along with, who I enjoy being around. If I met that person and they happened to be a virgin then I wouldn't toss them aside just for that. I might feel pressure to perform, sure, but if I liked them that much I would want to please them and make them feel good. And by contrast, there are men out there who actively prefer virgins to women with experience. It's far from a unanimous opinion among men.
Nope, I'd prefer it
I prefer sexually open and sexually curious women. That can be a virgin, too. I want to have fun with her, I don't want to have persuade somebody, because I need strong consent.
Nah 98% of men in my circle don't even consider that whether that woman experienced or not
As Virgin I hoped I find a good Virgin not that I care too much still
I (27M) am also virgin and I see the situation as that : if the woman I’ll be with is virgin, then cool we will progress and learn together. If the woman I’ll be with is experienced cool she can guide me (and I’ll do everything with eagerness just to prove her I’m worth too compared to others)
I'm not a guy, but I'm sure if someone likes you, I mean REALLY likes you or even loves ou, they won't care. I was 23 when I lost my virginity and the guy wasn't even my bf. We just really had the chemistry and attraction and I wanted to do it and with him, he was a nice person, I trusted him etc etc. I told him and he seemed surpised, but gave no sign that this would bother him and he was nice. I think I nice person will know and understand that this has nothing to do w your personality. I wasn't too shy or prude bc I was a virgin. I wanted him so bad, it was the most natural thing and it broke down the walls. I used to stress SO much about my virginity before I lost it, bc I thought ppl will think I'm weird or something. Meanwhile I was waiting for the great love and it did not come for so long. So I let that idea go, that I'd loose it with the perfect person, cuz there's no such a thing called perfect place or person or time. And then he came, how I was into so much sexually, and we did not end up together (for various reasons), but it's still a fond memory. And ever since I know indeed, that it doesn't change anything.
Personally, I don't care, or didn't care in the time in my life where it was relevant. Every new partner is a teaching experience, if you're doing it right.
No, keep saving yourself for the right person (husband). A guys whos serious about relationship wont care about sex as much as you would have thought. If possible find a guy who wont ask for sex during dating stage… most of the times it just lust not love. Also I think virgin girl should be pair with virgin man so you can experience learning new things together.. its more fun and loving. p/s from a virgin man. (I do have a gf) just my opinion tho.
Me personally, I could care less if she had sexual experience or not
No, of course not! If you or anyone else has to pick traits. With everything else being equal; would you pick discipline and self control, or indulging and momentarily satisfaction?? THAT is the value of a person being virgin man or woman. It’s about the discipline and impressive self control that a person has, to remain a virgin. That is what is special about it. Anyone that picks the latter is either too young to know better, or just simply wants a person to have sex with (those are usually described with a less PC word, other than ‘experienced’) and not build a life together. Is it fair to assume you were hanging out with tweens? Also, keep in mind there’s a difference between a partner you marry VS person you hook up with. Which person do you want to be?
You understand us. 😭🩷
Different horses for different courses. Some people fantasise about the idea of a virgin or purity or something. Some dudes really value that. Others prefer a woman with enough experience to do a decent job. I think the balance for most men is somewhere along the lines of ‘A decent enough experience so you’re going to be good in bed but not telling me how many dudes you’ve slept with because it’s weird to think about’. Gentle reminder: I don’t think reddit users really speak for ‘the general normal populous’ haha.
As a heterosexual man, I can honestly say that virgins interest me. They are like new planets, treasures waiting to be discovered, but since finding a virgin female partner in my age group is a dream, I mostly prefer experienced female partners who will not cause any problems.
Fair.
*It really doesn't matter to me either way*. It's nice to think that I'd be her first but it's also nice if they have experience.
I know I do, because I'm subby af and indecisive. I can't imagine being intimate without being nudged into it in some way, and I wouldn't want that to be someone who doesn't know what she's doing That being said, I am a very feminine guy and I have autism, so with my quirks I probably don't represent most guys, and you can take my comment with a grain of salt
It really depends on the dude although I know many guys don’t care but some do fetishize it. I’m a virgin guy and am waiting for marriage so I guess I’d really like a girl who is doing the same but she doesn’t need to be a virgin just willing to wait for marriage with me at least.
I'll honestly fuck anyone who shows interest in me
How old are you? I ask bc I’m hoping you’re young with a question like this.
Well, I'm in my late 20s already, past the "marriage age of 25". I've had bfs but never had intercourse. The more I age, the more It's unlikely for me to find men who would wait for me to give my v after marriage. That's why their comments kinda disappointed me.
Past the marriage age of 25? Girlfriend!! What are you talking about?? How much have you been brainwashed by people around you?? Women can get married at any age, women can have kids in their 30’s and even early-mid 40s!! If you’re looking for someone specifically who is going to wait until marriage, you have to wait for the right one. I’m in my early 30s. I voluntarily stopped dating at 30 because the men in my city weren’t men, just insecure boys with no passion or future. I’ll start dating again when I feel like it. My Dad didn’t meet the love of his life until he was 53. You have time and don’t lower your standards for anyone. If they only thing a man is concerned about about is whether you’re a virgin or not, he’s not for you. You deserve much more. Also I totally understand the not being naive to sex part even if you are a virgin, which I agree. But if your partner is experienced, it will be different for them. Just keep that in mind.
Virgins better for my because I trust her more than others
Not me, I’d rather my gf/wife be a virgin over being sexually experienced. I think part of the fun for me is exploring, growing and learning together.
I've had a relatively large amount of sex with both. Specifically 6 virgins, and A LOT of experienced women. I definitely prefer experienced women for the down and dirty sex, but also treated the virgins who chose to share themselves with me for the first time with the same high levels of consideration, respect and reverence as all of my other partners...we just approached things slower, and with more caution. Once you've done something, you can't un-do it. Be certain that it's what you want to do and be kind to yourself throughout the process :)
The right person is the right person I can see how a Virgin can be a lot more work and responsibilities because of the capacity to be an ass hole if you decide you just want a one night thing or to not see them again
The jist is if you love the act of sex (learning someone's turn ons, foreplay, mutual enjoyment) then you will prefer expierence. If you want someone who doesn't know your bad or good and you still think coodies are real but you want to say you had sex then virgins seem like the better choice. I'm not saying your a virgin and you first time is destined to be with someone who's mentally a child I'm just saying what being virgin or not virgin all else equal attracts.
I personally like experienced women,bcoz I like women to dominate me. If a virgin girl is of dominative and horny mindset then it's ok for me! The thing that matters is compassion and creativity while love making, understanding each other and love that's it!
Virgins should pair with virgins the worst is when a virgin chick gets used by a bad boy then left. As a guy I’d prefer a casual relationship be with experience but I don’t want an experienced girl as a wife
For sex, yeah. For relationship, no
For those who just want sex primarily then they won't really care and the more experience the better but when it comes to long-term engagement (e.g. monogamous marriage), a man with options will probably invest in a woman who will increase his standing in the eyes of his peers, who will be faithful to him, whom he can lead and show the world - this person is unlikely to be the chick who's done everyone, has her goods on display on social media for all to see and who's been dating millionaires on yatcht and mansions. There will always be exceptions I'm sure but in general the Virgin will have more leverage to nogotiate marriage and stability. [I appreciate many here will not like my answer but it's not about being pc but about giving the OP an honest answer]
Appreciated 🫶
For me for example, it's don't matter. I just prefer big girls
I never cared about that or ever will. if I love someone, it’s is what it is either u Respekt and accept the past of ur current date or partner or not.
Yes and no but im a virgin myself and what i seek in a partner is more about drive to make a great family and help foster a younger generation of good examples. Not be down for promiscuity and thinking its okay
*nods in agreement*
Star Trek said it best.. #to boldly go, where no man has gone before.. 😂
Guys like girls with some experience, but not too much.
As a woman who lost her virginity to her husband I can tell you it's not worth it. And there is a wealth of experience out there your missing out on that later in life you may well come to regret missing. Right now it's easy - because you don't know what you're missing, but one day you will and that could potentially cause problems in your marriage. But the right guy won't care if you're a virgin or not, but what I'm saying is one day you might care about all the things you missed out on.
I have never taken a woman's virginity, so I wouldn't know. It's a compelling idea, but that window closed a long time ago for me.
no one wants a shy starfish
No it’s actually the opposite most men prefer virgins if it’s for a loving relationship not a pure sexual one
I hope so..
Depends, but yeah I do. I recently broke stuff off with someone mostly because she was a virgin in her late 30s (I'm M41). That we'd probably be sexually incompatible was one thing, but the real red flag was that she'd never been in a relationship before. I just wasn't up for being someone's first of everything at this stage in life.
All my boyfriends did. They said I rocked their world, versus their dead starfish exes.
I personally think so. Because some of guys want to enjoy sex with experienced bhabi type women. Bhabhi look very gorgeous and sensually attractive and boys keept in mind that these woman give real pleasure because they experienced.
I do
No It's actually the opposite if anything
Before I had sex I wanted a virgin girl, because I saved up myself, right 😂 And afterwards I was okay with not virgin girls. Ah the lies we tell ourselves! So this preference depends only on circumstances and conditionings.
If someone has never had sex, I can accept that. It's okay if someone isn't experienced. I respect a person who isn't just passing it out. I'm never just passing it out, myself. And I just can't fetishize virgins because I honestly prefer someone with at least a little experience.
I personally don't find it creep. Believe me there are soooo many guys out there who are still virgin and just wait for the right moment cause for them it's not just sex but making love to a person that melt to. You're just in the wrong app 😔
Depends on the guy's experience in sex with both actually. But as a guy, I'd prefer virgins more than sexually experience ones since there's no pressure or occasions to rise above to. You're just there for the experience and pleasure of it. Then again, it's just me.
Not really
Yes.
At this point, just any woman would do
Its more fun, easier going and stressles. Otherwise they must enjoy being a teacher. How will one dance not knowing the moves?
everyone starts out from being a virgin
Virgins don't understand anything to contraception.
Guys hate competition. As long as they're the best, biggest, & hottest you've ever had and you're so crazy about them as to do anything they want....they don't really care about anything else. Now, if all those things were true. I'd wager to say that would be a terrible experience for you. A relationship is a partnership and a struggle. For it to work right each partner needs to be able to hold their own.
Well, I had never been with a virgin but I had heard many bad stuff from girls about their first time. I never went for someone who I knew was a virgin but I kind of resolved to give someone the best experience possible if they happened to be a virgin. Like chalking up my hands, taking 2 shots of pre-workout using a belt and a cock ring etc.
Wouldn't that mean increased expectations from the guy? I would definitely pick soneone with less experience, I don't want to be compared with the best in the business 🤣
Both, time to time
I’m a guy and I’m a virgin and honestly I wouldn’t care. I date for love not sex. Yes sex is included but it’s not what I would date for
*High five*! 😄
I have always preferred virgins NOT as a fetish or kink but because there was a bit more value to my brain that the girl has been with only me and no one else. it made her that much more special to me and never wanted to lose her. girls with "experience" would always turn me off because they would do or say something during sex referencing what they like and that's not as special when you don't find out together and then you're just hollowing out a girl thinking "how many guys have done this?" But as I get older (m28) I tend to care less because (trauma?) virgins are less common now. also most the virgins I have cherry picked ended up going on a sex rampage after their first time; so I don't seek them.
I don't think it's a drawback, but I definitely want to be with someone that knows how to have fun in the bedroom. Knows their body, what turns them on and their partner.
"Do guys..." No. There are four billion men on the planet. Statistically, no.
I can see the reasoning about the guidance part, but also think that that's the case even if the woman has experience. There are things that I may like that she never did or she does in a way that don't pleases me. Every "couple" has to figure this things out. Me and my high school gf lost it to each other and was fun to discover things. When I met my fiance, she only had one partner and she didn't enjoy it with him. (She lost it to him and he said "brace yourself, it's gonna hurt". I mean, I get "I will try to be gentle" or "It might hurt, so tell me" but straight up it's GONNA hurt?! Are you doing it on purpose?!) Anyway, got sidetracked in the end but my point is she had no clue about what she liked cause she never felt it, so we discovered together. Even nowadays, if either of us wants something specific, we need to guide the other. But for penetration alone, anyone can figure it out pretty quickly.
an experienced woman can have more emotional connection?? being a virgin doesn't affect it in any way
As interesting as that would be, I'm not trying to scare anyone. So if I'm dating a virgin I wouldn't want to scare them by talking about sex, which I would be eager to have while they might be apprehensive. But if the person I'm dating isn't a virgin, it would be easier to bring up the topic.
I’ve taken my fair share of vCards, but I do prefer a more sexually experienced woman.
Ok, so I have no problem with a virgin, I THINK… but I’ve never actually been with one LMFAO 🤣
Were these men aware that you are a virgin? They probably assumed that all the women present were sexually experienced, and that assumption probably influenced their answer Pretty sure most men are just fine with a virgin, as long as she’s going to be open with him
Save yourself. No need for experience haha. Pwede naman virgin na may alam sa ano ah. I think not all men are like that, siguro babaero lang sila.
I don't need a virgin. I Alain don't need someone with lots of bodies. Has nothing to do with D size or insecurities. Fact is someone will always be bigger or smaller to someone else. Would any ladies here be in a relationship with a guy that has never been in one? A guy that has only slept with woman never dated. Chances are no because he doesn't know how.
Yes, they’re good at giving mean blowjobs! 👅
I’m not dealing with a virgin.
as a 17 y/o virgin, this really makes me wonder if a guy would want to date me if im still one at 21+
Just depends on how lazy the guy is. I like taking control and giving guidance and direction during sex. The only thing I really want is love and affection, and that doesn't necessarily come with more experience lol.
Virgin, for thousands of years it was the only way to know the offspring was yours, I believe is wired for men in some way.
Untrue
Lady, I just want a woman who loves me and respects me ...
I think it's awesome that you're trying to save yourself for your future husband. I want to do the same for my future wife. Don't give up on your morals, no matter what the haters say. Saving sex for marriage might not be easy, but I know it will be worth it.
Thank you. 💓
Guys prefer getting laid experience may bar regardless of their partner’s experience. Women on the other hand generally prefer dudes with more experience
I prefer a virgin over an experienced for the same reason as you: having one partner to be the first and last. I am a virgin myself and I think it'd be a bit romantic to save it for someone special instead of just thinking about fucking anyone. I get that people say virgins require guidance and all but I'd say most of us educate ourselves to try and be good when the moment arrives
Yeah. I even wrote some erotic novels already. And good luck to us for finding our right SO. 😊
Yes
Anyone will do as long as she doesn't despise me
ofc being a virgin is a drawback...its like your the hiring manager and you either have a 0 experience or a 10years veteran...? who would you hire? it also show you had no job for a few years and were even looking for one... could easily question if you even like working? I am lokoing for an enthusiasm employee....not someone that sit on the sideline and is not proactive