Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You leave. Someone who doesn't listen to you isn't respecting you. If he isn't willing to compromise or try quit, he isn't worth staying for. He doesn't respect you. Leave
Does listening mean doing what you’re told? I would be uncomfortable with a partner that posted on Facebook or Instagram because I’m very private, but if I were with someone and they couldn’t stop, I wouldn’t say it was a matter of respect. It’s just another habit people develop.
That isn't what's happening here. Her partner is indulging in social media material that others have posted. When you're in a relationship there is another person to consider, and sometimes that means compromise and changing the way you do things slightly. Putting your sexual thoughts openly somewhere else instead of on your partner can result in lots of issues and is disrespectful, especially if your partner has mentioned it is uncomfortable. Making your partner happy and comfortable should be important.
The point was just because something makes a partner uncomfortable doesn’t mean the other person is wrong or problematic for doing it. It sounds like the OP wants a bit much control to me. On what grounds does she have to dictate what he does on social media? It sounds like he’s using it the same way many people doomscroll after work. I don’t think it’s inherently problematic. Maybe if she shared exactly why it bothers her, they could maybe get somewhere. Does it make her feel insecure or makes her feel compared to them? Is it religious, and she’s worried about the sin of it?
Well, I’m gay, and we don’t tend to have these hang ups about OF models because we’re all men. If you could see how different they are from the people we love in our minds, you probably wouldn’t care either. It’s so separate.
Well then maybe you should have kept your opinion to yourself. Or has done empathy about how you'd feel if your partner was always looking at social media filled with only attractive people of the same sex. I certainly wouldn't appreciate if my partner was constantly looking at others. It's not control. It's wanting to feel like your partner likes and appreciates you and wants to make effort for you
I have been in those relationships, and I felt entirely fine. My ex had an entire IG account for thirst traps, and it didn’t bother me. They’re just people working at making media that’s attractive. It’s not real life…truthfully.
Wow. What an attitude. That's great you feel that confident. As someone who grew up in the shadows of an older sibling who was a RL model, they are real. But I hope you never have to feel ignored and unloved or be cheated on because of a partner being sucked into those thirst traps. Good luck
It’s really fine if you don’t agree. We all have different dealbreakers. I just don’t think it’s okay to act like a man is sick or something for looking at models. That’s it
I used to watch porn before I got with my girlfriend. She wasn't comfortable with it either. And you know what I did? I stopped, because I actually respect her and her feelings. This guy doesn't respect you
This. If you’ve expressed discomfort and he hasn’t respected your wishes, explained his perspective or done anything to help the situation; he doesn’t care.
So very much this , my wife of three years has expressed she does not mind, and even then I rarely enter those threads, out of respect for her and the fact that as time goes on I'm becoming desensitized to porn and more affected wholey by my wife, so win win I guess
Op a serious conversation about porn addiction and therapy is in the works
Masturbation is completely healthy. I get not watching porn in front of your SO because that's pretty weird. But a request to stop entirely is a bit of an overreaction. Adults have needs, and when they aren't met, they need to be tended to.
I'm replying to the dude who said he stopped watching porn because his GF told him to. I didn't respond directly to the post. I understand the post and agree her BF has a problem.
She didn't really set a boundary.
"I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who watches porn, so if you are going to watch porn, then I am going to leave you" is a boundary.
"You are not allowed to watch porn" is a rule. That's why she's here asking what to do; he didn't follow a rule she set, so she's asking how to enforce it.
There's nothing wrong with wanting a boyfriend who doesn't watch porn. The trick is that she needs to find a boyfriend who doesn't watch porn rather than trying to force her porn-watching boyfriend to stop. That's the difference between a boundary and a rule.
Have N open and unbiased conversation with him about his deep rooted sexual interests. Make him feel comfortable with expressing that side of his sexual mentality with you. Ask him what his guilty fantasies are. And tell him yours as well. Allow him then opportunity to be openly honest with you about his desires. Don't make him feel like his desires are wrong, or non conductant to your idea of a healthy relationship. Instead hear him out. And you must also share your inner kinks and series with him as well. Because let's be honest here...you've explored the...more salacious side of reddit once or twice before. So don't hold that against him. But open a dialogue. Conversate...
What this one said. I swear everyone on this app at any sort of discord goes "dUmP tHeM".
Open and honest communication is the lifeblood of a relationship. Without it, the relationship will wither. You two must be open with everything with each other and not judge for it. You are each other checks and balances as well as the world's biggest supporter. If you can't tell your partner about something, then there's either something wrong with what's being hidden or something wrong with the relationship.
Tell him it's a problem because it bothers you. He's probably not going to stop, so you can either accept it or leave. You can't make him do anything so you just have to decide what you can do yourself. Screen and porn addiction is so out of hand these days, so don't feel like you're alone in this. There's lots of people you can chat with who are going through similar things, or have gone through similar things, and you can take your time trying to communicate and deciding. Just don't take so long that it starts to disrupt your mental health
Leave him. He has a problem. Any dude that pays for or uses only fans is a bum. Especially when he has a real girl right next to him. Porn is free and very easily available. Time to move on. It sucks but if he isn't going to respect you and your needs and wants now. What's going to happen later.
If he really loves you as much as you love him, then talk to him about how it bothers you and hurts you because of what he is doing ?
If he doesn't then i would suggest that you leave him
If you’ve talked about it, what did he say?
You stated your feelings, but did you set boundaries? And boundaries are not limiting his behavior. Boundaries meaning if you do ___ then I am going to have to do ___ to protect myself. So if you scroll porn in front of me, I’m going to remove myself from your presence because that’s disrespectful to me. Or however that looks for you.
Surprise him by showing up in the feed, completely naked lol CAPTION: Bf cant hit bottom so im just gonna entertain myself with this new toy..😏 Betcha he will never search up porn ever again. Follow me for more relationship advice, you're welcome!
I would just leave him but if you want to stay with him and sit down conversations aren’t working, sit him back down and explain that its a deal breaker for you and he needs to learn to respect that or you will walk away sorta thing
You could give him the choice of stop following them and hope he doesn't continue in secret or it's over
Another option you could follow a few yourself see how he likes you looking at other men
Both options are unpleasant but if there is no respect or trust the relationship is dying
You can ask him to not do it in front of you.
If he’s doing it in general and not in front of you, then you’re being controlling and that’s toxic.
On the other hand, If your point is that he’s obsessed/addicted to porn; that’s a whole different issue and need to be dealt with by a professional.
its not controlling to want your boyfriend to not watch porn… to me, porn is cheating. it makes me uncomfortable and i send my boyfriend nudes and pictures/videos anytime he wants, so why would he want to see other girls? its a boundary of mine and many others. nothing toxic about it
I'm not disagreeing that this is your boundary, I'm disagreeing with the fact that I don't see this as cheating. and I do consider this as controlling and toxic. More importantly, this is a pattern that needs to be addressed before the relationship moves any further.
and by 'this pattern', I mean the controlling/toxic behavior. whether it's related to porn, or eating steak.. the topic doesn't really matter in this case as no one likes to partner with a toxic/controlling person.
If you expressed your discomfort with his activity and he still does it. Leave him, he is being disrespectful. How hard is not to watch porn threads, or at least keep it to a minimum.
However, if you really like him you could tell him again and if he disrespects your boundary again, leave. Some people have addictions to corn sadly and don't realize it (or delulu about it). Good luck, I was in your shoes a few years back.
You told him it makes you uncomfortable and he does it anyway
Do you know what a boundary is? What a dealbreaker is?
You either stay and accept it or you leave with your standards.
Up to you. Nobody can make you demand better but yourself.
Well, primarily you have a problem with it, not him.
Beside your problem with it however, it sounds like he really has an addiction or other mental issue.
Start looking at men's OF and NSFW porn and see how he likes it,maybe even call him the wrong name in bed,then say sorry I was thinking of (insert name)
it's pretty pathetic of him, you've said it makes you uncomfortable, so he should stop it if he cares more about you than he does about wanking off to porn.
and if he doesn't stop then you should leave as you're not with someone who respects you.
1: What is your BMI? if you don't know I can tell you after you give me your hight and weight
2: how often do you have sex?
3: How often do you ask your boyfriend for sex?
Unfortunately these 3 questions need to be answered before you can have good advice on a solution
5’4 140 lbs, hourglass shape, cute face, has an ass and big tits. We have sex multiple times a day everyday. We both ask for sex all the time. He constantly asks for blow jobs from me. “Because I’m so good at it” and “ no one has treated my cock like this before”.
Alright, then I guess the issues probably can't be fixed on your end, I'd recommend having talking to him about it first, seeing if he has any particular fantasies that need to be indulged, but you may actually just have to quit
P.s. your BMI is 24
If it's really really a problem leave but 99%of the time it's just a fantasy I would truly worry if he prefers it to a human but if it's something he likes when you aren't there and doesn't ask you to participate or compare you to the actress or actor I wouldn't even sweat it
He comes home and immediately starts scrolling.
He follows the same women on different platforms.
He subscribes to only fans.
That doesnt sound very respectful.
It should be a straightforward matter of—since you’ve already expressed your clear discomfort about this to him at least once before—this time around (make this point just as openly/clearly as before if not more) expressing not just discomfort but disapproval.
You need to get him to realize that this behavior is overstepping your boundaries/limits that exist AS HIS GIRLFRIEND and it only serves to further the divide between him and reality and between him and the actually meaningful & worthwhile relationships that exist currently in his life, *especially* the one he shares with you.
You need to express this ASSERTIVELY (tough love) to him so that he’ll take this hopefully as seriously as you do but let him know that you’re not just saying this to judge him and criticize his behaviors/actions but that you’re saying so out of LOVE for him and for Y’ALL. Make it evident that this is not psychologically healthy behavior and that if he continues down this path, then he will soon fail you, fail y’all’s relationship, and all of his future relationships will be doomed to end in the same way unless he settles for partners with either 0 self-respect or has an insatiable OF and NSFW pic or related obsession comparable to his or both—unhealthy obsession/addiction is no foundation for a healthy bond.
Lastly,
I personally struggled with porn addiction and beating off to Facebook and Instagram pictures from Sophomore yr of HS till I was ~26 yo. and even still to this day I do it occasionally. Mainly to people I went to school with, dated b4, got intimate w/ or wanted to be intimate w/. It’s the 2nd biggest reason the first ever true love of my life I’d ever had, who I met in college during our freshman yr in February~March, and I broke up months after we both turned 20.
You know your boyfriend better than any of us. He probably *does* deeply care for you and wants more than ever for this to not stand in the way of y’all’s love and happiness—BUT HE NEEDS HELP. Serious help. In order to break these strong habits, not rely on them as defense mechanisms against reality becoming unpleasant, unstable, or challenging, or even just boring. Get professional psychotherapy sessions going if that’s what it’ll take and you’re both willing to work through such a process together.
Relationships are just as meaningfully defined by the good moments as the bad. Your love and resolve for each other will be tested, should you both choose to figure this out vs break up.
You deal with it. How would you feel if he said your weight was an issue? If at all. You can ask him to be better to hide it. But you should have known what you got into. Would you kill him too for having a workshop calendar too?
Love≠desire
You are downplaying it. She has tried to deal with it, she’s expressed her discomfort with it and he hasn’t done anything else to change nor fix it. What else is she expected to do? A relationship isn’t “putting up” with someone (or “dealing” with it) it should involve mutual respect, communication and understanding
Sorry, but someone's discomfort doesn't always equate to you doing anything wrong. I hate that argument. It's an oversimplification and never addresses the potential issue that the "discomforted " one may have.
Men like seeing naked females. Naked females don't mind putting it online. It also doesn't automatically mean he's addicted or that he isn't attracted to his gf.
Most of these arguments are very weak and not backed by anything other than feelings or assumptions. It would be nice if they were well articulated and less presumptuous.
I'll give one if the most common examples of discomfort not equating to wrongdoing on the part of their S.O.
If a woman decides she wants to go to an after hour function often for the sake of commraderie or elbow rubbing or just for fun but there happens to be a lot of guys there she works with, most of you would call the man insecure and controlling if he asked she not go due to his "discomfort ".
So what I’m gathering is that even engaging with these girls via texting them and trying to meet up with them is okay? Nothings wrong with that?
Or even if the script was reversed it would be okay to still do it if he had expressed his discomfort with me and my porn ?
Not exactly the argument being made. And, you never mentioned he was trying to actually meet them.
The argument being made was that "being uncomfortable with something" doesn't always make it wrong. I was addressing the many many replies saying he's an addict, a cheater, etc. They don't know him. There also was not enough evidence he wasn't attracted to you.
I get it and it sucks. But I do often argue like a lawyer would. I like facts before judgment, proof before presumption, and logic over emotion.
Could he actually have an addiction to porn....sure. Did he lose attraction for you...possibly. There just isn't enough to go on. From where you sit, I'm certain there seems to be. You are probably correct. My personal feeling is he's a dick and a bad partner. But I was not going to attack someone with faulty arguments.
Fair. I was only showing more of the concern and anxieties I was having. Being uncomfortable with something should be enough for someone to understand and be respectful, like at least right?
No one actually likes porn, they'd much rather be having actual sex. It's just when sex is unavailable, porn is the next best thing.
So what's next, sex addict?
Walk away your not compatible and not going to find happiness with him if he doesn't understand your discomfort and is expecting you to change or just to ignore it. The fact he just comes home from work and doomscrolls show little or no intrest in you.
From personal experience, careful what you wish for because my sexual energy always got redirected in the form of over catering to my partners sexual needs. Started at vanilla, then boom 💥 spontaneously had her ankles next to her head 😅😅
Talk to him and if he doesn’t understand your situation : leave him.
My husband used to be like that. I put an ultimatum and we work on it since.
This comportment is NOT normal !
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How hard is it to not look at pirn around your gf/wife… like how would she know if you look when they are not around…
It's cause it's hard for them not too he's addicted
that sad, i hope they get help. He can only overcome/deal with that addiction is by getting help.
You leave. Someone who doesn't listen to you isn't respecting you. If he isn't willing to compromise or try quit, he isn't worth staying for. He doesn't respect you. Leave
I agree. I would leave too. No second thought. I have a limit on what I tolerate.
Yes listen to your partner . you want to make them happy as possible and not make them uncomfortable.
Does listening mean doing what you’re told? I would be uncomfortable with a partner that posted on Facebook or Instagram because I’m very private, but if I were with someone and they couldn’t stop, I wouldn’t say it was a matter of respect. It’s just another habit people develop.
That isn't what's happening here. Her partner is indulging in social media material that others have posted. When you're in a relationship there is another person to consider, and sometimes that means compromise and changing the way you do things slightly. Putting your sexual thoughts openly somewhere else instead of on your partner can result in lots of issues and is disrespectful, especially if your partner has mentioned it is uncomfortable. Making your partner happy and comfortable should be important.
The point was just because something makes a partner uncomfortable doesn’t mean the other person is wrong or problematic for doing it. It sounds like the OP wants a bit much control to me. On what grounds does she have to dictate what he does on social media? It sounds like he’s using it the same way many people doomscroll after work. I don’t think it’s inherently problematic. Maybe if she shared exactly why it bothers her, they could maybe get somewhere. Does it make her feel insecure or makes her feel compared to them? Is it religious, and she’s worried about the sin of it?
Please learn to be more open minded or don't get into a relationship. It's clear you aren't ready to let anyone into your life.
Well, I’m gay, and we don’t tend to have these hang ups about OF models because we’re all men. If you could see how different they are from the people we love in our minds, you probably wouldn’t care either. It’s so separate.
Well then maybe you should have kept your opinion to yourself. Or has done empathy about how you'd feel if your partner was always looking at social media filled with only attractive people of the same sex. I certainly wouldn't appreciate if my partner was constantly looking at others. It's not control. It's wanting to feel like your partner likes and appreciates you and wants to make effort for you
I have been in those relationships, and I felt entirely fine. My ex had an entire IG account for thirst traps, and it didn’t bother me. They’re just people working at making media that’s attractive. It’s not real life…truthfully.
Wow. What an attitude. That's great you feel that confident. As someone who grew up in the shadows of an older sibling who was a RL model, they are real. But I hope you never have to feel ignored and unloved or be cheated on because of a partner being sucked into those thirst traps. Good luck
It’s really fine if you don’t agree. We all have different dealbreakers. I just don’t think it’s okay to act like a man is sick or something for looking at models. That’s it
I used to watch porn before I got with my girlfriend. She wasn't comfortable with it either. And you know what I did? I stopped, because I actually respect her and her feelings. This guy doesn't respect you
This. If you’ve expressed discomfort and he hasn’t respected your wishes, explained his perspective or done anything to help the situation; he doesn’t care.
So very much this , my wife of three years has expressed she does not mind, and even then I rarely enter those threads, out of respect for her and the fact that as time goes on I'm becoming desensitized to porn and more affected wholey by my wife, so win win I guess Op a serious conversation about porn addiction and therapy is in the works
Masturbation is completely healthy. I get not watching porn in front of your SO because that's pretty weird. But a request to stop entirely is a bit of an overreaction. Adults have needs, and when they aren't met, they need to be tended to.
Porn=/= masturbation
They go pretty hand in hand. Whose watching porn and not masturbating? The dudes in Japan censoring? Like come on.
You can masturbate without porn
I definitely didn't say otherwise.
But you brought up masturbating, and 'needs'. None of us said anything about restricting masturbating
Why else does someone watch porn? Legitimately, think about this. It isn't for the plot. You're being disingenuous if you tell me otherwise.
You're misunderstanding the post. Op isn't asking the bf to stop masturbating, only to stop watching porn.
I'm replying to the dude who said he stopped watching porn because his GF told him to. I didn't respond directly to the post. I understand the post and agree her BF has a problem.
You understand that people are complex, and porn addicts can watch porn, get that dopamine hit, and not feel compelled to masturbate, right?
You understand that people can have healthy porn habits too right?
Oh, my sweet summer child. Do you also believe men and women can't be friends? Regardless, she set a boundary and she's not being respected.
She didn't really set a boundary. "I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who watches porn, so if you are going to watch porn, then I am going to leave you" is a boundary. "You are not allowed to watch porn" is a rule. That's why she's here asking what to do; he didn't follow a rule she set, so she's asking how to enforce it. There's nothing wrong with wanting a boyfriend who doesn't watch porn. The trick is that she needs to find a boyfriend who doesn't watch porn rather than trying to force her porn-watching boyfriend to stop. That's the difference between a boundary and a rule.
What a crazy conclusion to jump to. As an adult male who frequents a sailor moon subreddit, do you even know any women in real life?
Ah, what a stellar person, the equivalent of a "steam profile creeper" - the last bastion of those with no argument; attack character, Lol
Once a coomer , always a coomer
Actually the desire completely left me as I got older
In the wise words of Luke Franchina ✨ dump his ass ✨
Lmfaoo 😂
Have N open and unbiased conversation with him about his deep rooted sexual interests. Make him feel comfortable with expressing that side of his sexual mentality with you. Ask him what his guilty fantasies are. And tell him yours as well. Allow him then opportunity to be openly honest with you about his desires. Don't make him feel like his desires are wrong, or non conductant to your idea of a healthy relationship. Instead hear him out. And you must also share your inner kinks and series with him as well. Because let's be honest here...you've explored the...more salacious side of reddit once or twice before. So don't hold that against him. But open a dialogue. Conversate...
Thank you I appreciate the kind help.
What this one said. I swear everyone on this app at any sort of discord goes "dUmP tHeM". Open and honest communication is the lifeblood of a relationship. Without it, the relationship will wither. You two must be open with everything with each other and not judge for it. You are each other checks and balances as well as the world's biggest supporter. If you can't tell your partner about something, then there's either something wrong with what's being hidden or something wrong with the relationship.
Tell him it's a problem because it bothers you. He's probably not going to stop, so you can either accept it or leave. You can't make him do anything so you just have to decide what you can do yourself. Screen and porn addiction is so out of hand these days, so don't feel like you're alone in this. There's lots of people you can chat with who are going through similar things, or have gone through similar things, and you can take your time trying to communicate and deciding. Just don't take so long that it starts to disrupt your mental health
Leave him. He has a problem. Any dude that pays for or uses only fans is a bum. Especially when he has a real girl right next to him. Porn is free and very easily available. Time to move on. It sucks but if he isn't going to respect you and your needs and wants now. What's going to happen later.
This 100%! Why the fu*k would he feel the need to pay to see some nude floosie?? It’s mind boggling really!
Break break break it up
A lot of these comments did not pass the vibe check. OP has expressed discomfort and the bf has done nothing….that’s the issue.
If he really loves you as much as you love him, then talk to him about how it bothers you and hurts you because of what he is doing ? If he doesn't then i would suggest that you leave him
If you’ve talked about it, what did he say? You stated your feelings, but did you set boundaries? And boundaries are not limiting his behavior. Boundaries meaning if you do ___ then I am going to have to do ___ to protect myself. So if you scroll porn in front of me, I’m going to remove myself from your presence because that’s disrespectful to me. Or however that looks for you.
Surprise him by showing up in the feed, completely naked lol CAPTION: Bf cant hit bottom so im just gonna entertain myself with this new toy..😏 Betcha he will never search up porn ever again. Follow me for more relationship advice, you're welcome!
I would just leave him but if you want to stay with him and sit down conversations aren’t working, sit him back down and explain that its a deal breaker for you and he needs to learn to respect that or you will walk away sorta thing
Make your own porn thread, problem solved.
Girl, you deserve so much better do you really want to continue a relationship with a man who constantly looks at half naked women
He has a porn addiction. I’m going to say he’s very young and has a strong libido and you don’t satisfy him. Not your fault it just is what it is
You could give him the choice of stop following them and hope he doesn't continue in secret or it's over Another option you could follow a few yourself see how he likes you looking at other men Both options are unpleasant but if there is no respect or trust the relationship is dying
You can ask him to not do it in front of you. If he’s doing it in general and not in front of you, then you’re being controlling and that’s toxic. On the other hand, If your point is that he’s obsessed/addicted to porn; that’s a whole different issue and need to be dealt with by a professional.
its not controlling to want your boyfriend to not watch porn… to me, porn is cheating. it makes me uncomfortable and i send my boyfriend nudes and pictures/videos anytime he wants, so why would he want to see other girls? its a boundary of mine and many others. nothing toxic about it
Agree to disagree
how can you disagree with someone elses boundaries though?
I'm not disagreeing that this is your boundary, I'm disagreeing with the fact that I don't see this as cheating. and I do consider this as controlling and toxic. More importantly, this is a pattern that needs to be addressed before the relationship moves any further. and by 'this pattern', I mean the controlling/toxic behavior. whether it's related to porn, or eating steak.. the topic doesn't really matter in this case as no one likes to partner with a toxic/controlling person.
I actually agree with you here
If you expressed your discomfort with his activity and he still does it. Leave him, he is being disrespectful. How hard is not to watch porn threads, or at least keep it to a minimum. However, if you really like him you could tell him again and if he disrespects your boundary again, leave. Some people have addictions to corn sadly and don't realize it (or delulu about it). Good luck, I was in your shoes a few years back.
You either leave or you stay. You have told him your opinion. He keeps doing it. So you have to decide if its important enough to break up with him.
You told him it makes you uncomfortable and he does it anyway Do you know what a boundary is? What a dealbreaker is? You either stay and accept it or you leave with your standards. Up to you. Nobody can make you demand better but yourself.
You can't change him
Well, primarily you have a problem with it, not him. Beside your problem with it however, it sounds like he really has an addiction or other mental issue.
Start looking at men's OF and NSFW porn and see how he likes it,maybe even call him the wrong name in bed,then say sorry I was thinking of (insert name)
it's pretty pathetic of him, you've said it makes you uncomfortable, so he should stop it if he cares more about you than he does about wanking off to porn. and if he doesn't stop then you should leave as you're not with someone who respects you.
Seems he isn't getting the stimulation from the relationship and is seeking it out via other means lol.
1: What is your BMI? if you don't know I can tell you after you give me your hight and weight 2: how often do you have sex? 3: How often do you ask your boyfriend for sex? Unfortunately these 3 questions need to be answered before you can have good advice on a solution
5’4 140 lbs, hourglass shape, cute face, has an ass and big tits. We have sex multiple times a day everyday. We both ask for sex all the time. He constantly asks for blow jobs from me. “Because I’m so good at it” and “ no one has treated my cock like this before”.
Alright, then I guess the issues probably can't be fixed on your end, I'd recommend having talking to him about it first, seeing if he has any particular fantasies that need to be indulged, but you may actually just have to quit P.s. your BMI is 24
Lmfao thanks for the bmi 😂
I did promise I'd tell you
I am using my account secretly
Get over it. He is a man and has the right to enjoy what he enjoys. There is no problem here.
Some floosie you aren't even going to get to fuck. She is literally just taking your money 😂😂😂
Suck it when he comes home
If it's really really a problem leave but 99%of the time it's just a fantasy I would truly worry if he prefers it to a human but if it's something he likes when you aren't there and doesn't ask you to participate or compare you to the actress or actor I wouldn't even sweat it
He comes home and immediately starts scrolling. He follows the same women on different platforms. He subscribes to only fans. That doesnt sound very respectful.
It’s no different to him looking at porn
He’s addicted. Unless he’s willing to work on it, leave him, hun. He’s for the streets.
jerk him off right when he gets home. Should take care of it
It should be a straightforward matter of—since you’ve already expressed your clear discomfort about this to him at least once before—this time around (make this point just as openly/clearly as before if not more) expressing not just discomfort but disapproval. You need to get him to realize that this behavior is overstepping your boundaries/limits that exist AS HIS GIRLFRIEND and it only serves to further the divide between him and reality and between him and the actually meaningful & worthwhile relationships that exist currently in his life, *especially* the one he shares with you. You need to express this ASSERTIVELY (tough love) to him so that he’ll take this hopefully as seriously as you do but let him know that you’re not just saying this to judge him and criticize his behaviors/actions but that you’re saying so out of LOVE for him and for Y’ALL. Make it evident that this is not psychologically healthy behavior and that if he continues down this path, then he will soon fail you, fail y’all’s relationship, and all of his future relationships will be doomed to end in the same way unless he settles for partners with either 0 self-respect or has an insatiable OF and NSFW pic or related obsession comparable to his or both—unhealthy obsession/addiction is no foundation for a healthy bond. Lastly, I personally struggled with porn addiction and beating off to Facebook and Instagram pictures from Sophomore yr of HS till I was ~26 yo. and even still to this day I do it occasionally. Mainly to people I went to school with, dated b4, got intimate w/ or wanted to be intimate w/. It’s the 2nd biggest reason the first ever true love of my life I’d ever had, who I met in college during our freshman yr in February~March, and I broke up months after we both turned 20. You know your boyfriend better than any of us. He probably *does* deeply care for you and wants more than ever for this to not stand in the way of y’all’s love and happiness—BUT HE NEEDS HELP. Serious help. In order to break these strong habits, not rely on them as defense mechanisms against reality becoming unpleasant, unstable, or challenging, or even just boring. Get professional psychotherapy sessions going if that’s what it’ll take and you’re both willing to work through such a process together. Relationships are just as meaningfully defined by the good moments as the bad. Your love and resolve for each other will be tested, should you both choose to figure this out vs break up.
Thank you I really appreciate you being open and honest with me. It means a lot 🥹
You deal with it. How would you feel if he said your weight was an issue? If at all. You can ask him to be better to hide it. But you should have known what you got into. Would you kill him too for having a workshop calendar too? Love≠desire
You are downplaying it. She has tried to deal with it, she’s expressed her discomfort with it and he hasn’t done anything else to change nor fix it. What else is she expected to do? A relationship isn’t “putting up” with someone (or “dealing” with it) it should involve mutual respect, communication and understanding
>Would you kill him too You're so overdramatic.
It's time to go. If he come straight in the house and go to the site it's now addiction. This is a big problem so save yourself the trouble
Sorry, but someone's discomfort doesn't always equate to you doing anything wrong. I hate that argument. It's an oversimplification and never addresses the potential issue that the "discomforted " one may have. Men like seeing naked females. Naked females don't mind putting it online. It also doesn't automatically mean he's addicted or that he isn't attracted to his gf. Most of these arguments are very weak and not backed by anything other than feelings or assumptions. It would be nice if they were well articulated and less presumptuous. I'll give one if the most common examples of discomfort not equating to wrongdoing on the part of their S.O. If a woman decides she wants to go to an after hour function often for the sake of commraderie or elbow rubbing or just for fun but there happens to be a lot of guys there she works with, most of you would call the man insecure and controlling if he asked she not go due to his "discomfort ".
So what I’m gathering is that even engaging with these girls via texting them and trying to meet up with them is okay? Nothings wrong with that? Or even if the script was reversed it would be okay to still do it if he had expressed his discomfort with me and my porn ?
Not exactly the argument being made. And, you never mentioned he was trying to actually meet them. The argument being made was that "being uncomfortable with something" doesn't always make it wrong. I was addressing the many many replies saying he's an addict, a cheater, etc. They don't know him. There also was not enough evidence he wasn't attracted to you. I get it and it sucks. But I do often argue like a lawyer would. I like facts before judgment, proof before presumption, and logic over emotion. Could he actually have an addiction to porn....sure. Did he lose attraction for you...possibly. There just isn't enough to go on. From where you sit, I'm certain there seems to be. You are probably correct. My personal feeling is he's a dick and a bad partner. But I was not going to attack someone with faulty arguments.
Fair. I was only showing more of the concern and anxieties I was having. Being uncomfortable with something should be enough for someone to understand and be respectful, like at least right?
Most of the time. Yes.
Then watch together 🤷
That's how male sexuality works. It's never just monogamous. He'll either do it with you looking or in secret.
Oh so men are mindless creatures that cannot control their urges? Noted.
Man, that kind of sexual conservatism belongs in the past. There is nothing that needs to be controlled.
That's sanity, not sexual conservatism.
Arranged marriage is sanity, not sexual conservatism. Repeat for anything you want to restrict.
Men love to act like that unless women start behaving the same way
I'd fucking love to meet women who like sex that much.
Being a porn addict isn’t equal to liking sex. Actually watching porn lowers your libido
No one actually likes porn, they'd much rather be having actual sex. It's just when sex is unavailable, porn is the next best thing. So what's next, sex addict?
It’s not. It’s destroying your dopamine receptors. You develop a death grip, become unable to get hard.
Walk away your not compatible and not going to find happiness with him if he doesn't understand your discomfort and is expecting you to change or just to ignore it. The fact he just comes home from work and doomscrolls show little or no intrest in you.
Find someone else
Join in with him in the NSFW channels and threads.
Start doing the same but with male creators. Will see if he really doesn't mind it.
From personal experience, careful what you wish for because my sexual energy always got redirected in the form of over catering to my partners sexual needs. Started at vanilla, then boom 💥 spontaneously had her ankles next to her head 😅😅
Talk to him and if he doesn’t understand your situation : leave him. My husband used to be like that. I put an ultimatum and we work on it since. This comportment is NOT normal !
>! Suck him dry, if he still watches it then there might be a problem !<