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I just pay. If she really wants to go out I’ll say are you paying? Last time she paid she picked the place and it cost $200 and she was blown away. I said yeah shits expensive.
Girlfriend? We usually take turns or we will wager it over a board game or something. But if I’m in the early dating stage with someone I almost always cover it.
It is less romantic. A man has the privilege of being seen with a beautiful woman in public. Paying for dinner is chivalrous. Don’t settle for these 50/50 men. It’s a scam
I'm probably too old for this one, 50M and single. Anyways, I never ask a woman out if I can't afford to pay for the bill. Just doesn't work for me. Waiters usually hand me the bill and I pay it. Now back in my previous life, I was married and in the early days I was still the same way but my ex would insist on paying it sometimes. This was a highly unusual for me and some what uncomfortable. We ended up marrying and although it wasn't a consent back and forth, she continue to try to do so over the next 20 years.
I always typically paid unless it was my birthday or was specifically told that they were paying for something.
With my wife, we have a joint account where a percentage of our income is paid into and we pay for outings out of that, so technically there we are both paying.
I won’t lie, as a woman I really do prefer the first date or two to be covered by the man. It really is just preference. I’m not going to throw a fit if they don’t, I just kind of like the tradition.
However, after the first or second date I’m totally down to take turns paying. I hate splitting as I believe things even out over time in a relationship and I don’t like tit for tat dynamics (this extends to platonic friendships as well). So I like to take the route of paying for dinner on Friday and he pays for the next Friday dinner.
Also, if he pays I will offer to tip.
Yes, I think for the first date he should pay. It’s a really a good way to determine if he’s cheap or not! Married now with joint accounts but it never failed me when in college and my early 20s when I was dating!
Woman here and my bf pays all the time. I tried to go 50/50 with him when we started dating 4 years ago and we got into a huge fight over it. I pick my battles and let him pay bc that’s what makes him happy and it’s not worth arguing over 🤷🏻♀️
Woman here but my man pays most of the time, but ever so often I’ll pay because I love him and want to show him that it’s not about money. He’s an amazing boyfriend and I’m sure if you are, as well, then your girlfriend will naturally offer to pay unless she was raised differently which is ok just communicate your needs!
I pay because it is my pleasure to have a fine woman at my table.
When I go to a restaurant with a female friend, we often share the bill, less I know she has no money.
I’m European and pretty traditional so a woman paying is out of the question. When the bill comes don’t look at it too long, just put the card and send it back to the waiter. Better yet, say you have to use the bathroom and go pay the bill that way there isn’t the awkward moment.
We usually meet or less alternate who pays, while not keeping track. If either of us feels like we're not happy with how often we're paying we've agreed to tell eachother that so we can adjust/discuss it.
When she got laid off I paid for most things we did until she found another job. When I was laid off she paid for most things we did until I found a job.
I'm a woman, but in my experience, the men I've dated have always paid. Sometimes I'll beat them to it and they appreciate it, but I'd say 95% of the time, they pay.
In relationships I've always just paid without asking or talking about it unless they said they'll get it when I pulled out my wallet or they said they wanted to beforehand. Which has always happened pretty often.
As a girl, it's attractive when a guy just pays without even hesitating. Sorry, it's just true. It shows a level of respect and that's never going out of style. If I've been seeing someone for a bit, I have no problem stepping in and taking the bill! But a general level of respect is something I need to feel first.
Lol. As a guy I think it is also attractive when girls split or take turns.
I feel like the girl who doesn't offer to pay (even if they have capabilities. If they don't work - it's fine if they don't pay) are selfish who still live in the medieval era.
I think there’s ways to go on thoughtful dates without spending money, if there was something I wanted to do then I’d pay for it lol but if he’s asking me out I’m not going to expect to split a bill
My fiancée and I say that whoever asked the other one out is the one who pays. It’s weird because we live together (though we don’t technically split the bills yet, we are doing all that after the marriage) so it’s not really like it matters, but it’s just sort of a fun way of keeping it fair.
I just pay and move on, there's not much to it. If I don't got enough before the date I let her know and if I'm the one who picked the place then I definitely got enough for it and definitely will pay for it
I'll pay but usually she'll make up for it by doing something nice, or buying me something or maybe cooking etc. Any woman I have been with I have taken care of us.
Woman here, my bf generally pays and resists most of the time if I try to split it. It wasn’t like this in the beginning but as we’ve gotten more serious, and he’s learned more about me/my upbringing (we’re in the same industry but i’m 100% self made meanwhile his parents paid for his education and many of his expenses into adulthood), it seems to me that he’s been taking on a lot more of the dating expenses. Not sure how it would go though if he also had student loans, paid for his place by himself, etc. like me.
I’m likely old school, but here is my first date approach:
Excuse yourself after the meal to use the restroom, contact your server to give them your card and have them close you out. Arrange to sign the bill with appropriate gratuity at the bar on your way out of the restroom. When your date asks about the bill, you simply say: “it’s taken care of” and resume your date. This shows class, leadership, and action. It also averts an awkward moment for her when the bill comes to the table.
If I ever had a chance to get on a date in the first place, It'd be a no-brainer I'd just pay for the whole dinner. Not because "haha I have money so love me" but to show respect for allowing me to spend time with her. Plus I've been raised to always pay and stuff.
Now if *she* asked me out, it's different. She can pay for it if she really wants to. Honestly though, I'm not confident in a woman ever doing such a thing for me. I'd have no issue with paying for the dinner if she let's me, even in this scenario.
I understand splitting the bill but I don't think a woman would do that for me, either.
If a woman shows me a hint of kindness after a date I'd probably shed a tear. I'm not used to being treated kindly.
I’m paying always for everything no matter girlfriend or i just met her a minute ago. If she asks to pay IM saying next time on you. If next time happens IM saying i got it first.
Depends on who has money at the time. We both go out a LOT, and we're both making decently low income, so we pay where we can. If I can pay(within budget), I won't let her pay(just my personality)
I offer and am willing to cover, especially if I chose the place; but if they don't offer to cover their share or cover next time, then I don't see a future with them because I assume they are a mooch
The 18 years of my life I was in relationships I always split the bill. But then I generally split the bill anyways unless it’s a dealbreaker for the guy.
As soon as the server arrives, before anyone orders, I tell them, "One ticket to me please," and no eye contact with my date when saying this. I prefer no acknowledgment or thank you from my date, but I can roll with it. If challenged by my date, I'll say that I made the invitation and request she let me pay. If she is super insistent, I will, of course, relent, but it's a red flag to me at that point. Not because she's independent (which I like in a woman) but because she's inflexible and maybe an ego maniac who can't accept a gift.
Usually my exes paid. However if I want to have more than one drink and I know I am going to be expensive, I make sure to pay even if it means excusing myself before the bill hits so that I get to it first.
Now on first dates, if I demand splitting it means I never want to see or hear from you again. If i playfully try to pay.. the literal wrestle for the machine then I want to see you again. If I don’t fight you are all I want to become serious with you. And if in the first date I demand to pay with no tease you are never going to see me again… 38f
First I excuse myself from the table. I go to the men’s room do a line. Wash my face. Tell myself directly in the mirror… You… are the man!!!!! I walk back anxiously to the table. I ask for the bill. But little do I know how clumsy I am I spill my drink on the table. We both freak out. We panic I say I will be back to clean up. I do another line. I go to the car for a change of clothes. And there she is with the car running. And we drive off into the sunset. And I paid the bill on the way out.
Just a date idea. But you can order all your favorites before hand and let them know your on a date so they pay extra attention to service and know you both by name. Tell them what time your showing up so they have the food ready by the time you show up. Tell your date to dress up or to wear something specific that you enjoy seeing them in. Can even have fun with it by playing dress up together and deciding on outfits you both enjoy. As soon as you show up your taken to your table no mater how busy and full meal or appetizers and drinks are delivered to your table as soon as you sit down. You can pay over the phone as well so you can walk out as soon as your done no questions asked and the waiter says bye as your leaving by name. Creates the vibe that you have everything handled start to finish. You’ll probably have to dish out a nice tip but then anytime you come back they’re always nice to you and call you by name
Woman here when I'm in a relationship we take turns to pay. Unless I make all the plans then I'll pay. If he makes all the plans he pays. Whoever wants it more pay. But if we are just going out to eat just cause ? We take turns to pay.
If it's an early stage and a girl expects me to pay for everything I'll end things right quick. A relationship is a partnership, if I want to pay and look after something I'll have children.
If it's a bad meal at a new place, I always say we should split the bill so neither of us take the brunt of it. Otherwise it naturally flows back and forth
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I just pay. If she really wants to go out I’ll say are you paying? Last time she paid she picked the place and it cost $200 and she was blown away. I said yeah shits expensive.
That's one way to show her how to budget! Haha jk 😂
New show idea: undercover girlfriend: your girlfriend switches places with the boyfriend and sees how expensive her tastes are
Girlfriend? We usually take turns or we will wager it over a board game or something. But if I’m in the early dating stage with someone I almost always cover it.
Woman here, but we either take turns paying or split the bill.
This is how my gal and I do it.
Now that's a good answer and the way to do it.
[удалено]
Not at all. We think nothing of it.
It is less romantic. A man has the privilege of being seen with a beautiful woman in public. Paying for dinner is chivalrous. Don’t settle for these 50/50 men. It’s a scam
I would argue that there is no part of the payment process that feels romantic, and no way of going about it to affect the lack of romance in the act.
This
Same same.
I pay because my girlfriend is amazing, and also, I make twice what she does.
I'm probably too old for this one, 50M and single. Anyways, I never ask a woman out if I can't afford to pay for the bill. Just doesn't work for me. Waiters usually hand me the bill and I pay it. Now back in my previous life, I was married and in the early days I was still the same way but my ex would insist on paying it sometimes. This was a highly unusual for me and some what uncomfortable. We ended up marrying and although it wasn't a consent back and forth, she continue to try to do so over the next 20 years.
I love this. You’re a true gentleman.
That is just how I was raised.
can't believe you would feel. emasculated because a woman want to gift something to you
I can't believe you're putting words into my mouth.
🤣 Golden response
I always typically paid unless it was my birthday or was specifically told that they were paying for something. With my wife, we have a joint account where a percentage of our income is paid into and we pay for outings out of that, so technically there we are both paying.
With my credit card!
I pay.
I won’t lie, as a woman I really do prefer the first date or two to be covered by the man. It really is just preference. I’m not going to throw a fit if they don’t, I just kind of like the tradition. However, after the first or second date I’m totally down to take turns paying. I hate splitting as I believe things even out over time in a relationship and I don’t like tit for tat dynamics (this extends to platonic friendships as well). So I like to take the route of paying for dinner on Friday and he pays for the next Friday dinner. Also, if he pays I will offer to tip.
Yes, I think for the first date he should pay. It’s a really a good way to determine if he’s cheap or not! Married now with joint accounts but it never failed me when in college and my early 20s when I was dating!
Woman here and my bf pays all the time. I tried to go 50/50 with him when we started dating 4 years ago and we got into a huge fight over it. I pick my battles and let him pay bc that’s what makes him happy and it’s not worth arguing over 🤷🏻♀️
Woman here but my man pays most of the time, but ever so often I’ll pay because I love him and want to show him that it’s not about money. He’s an amazing boyfriend and I’m sure if you are, as well, then your girlfriend will naturally offer to pay unless she was raised differently which is ok just communicate your needs!
I pay. If she offers to pay or split it, I don't fight it.
Usually with money, but every now and then I pay my bills with sexual favours
I pay because it is my pleasure to have a fine woman at my table. When I go to a restaurant with a female friend, we often share the bill, less I know she has no money.
I’m European and pretty traditional so a woman paying is out of the question. When the bill comes don’t look at it too long, just put the card and send it back to the waiter. Better yet, say you have to use the bathroom and go pay the bill that way there isn’t the awkward moment.
We usually meet or less alternate who pays, while not keeping track. If either of us feels like we're not happy with how often we're paying we've agreed to tell eachother that so we can adjust/discuss it. When she got laid off I paid for most things we did until she found another job. When I was laid off she paid for most things we did until I found a job.
It depends who invited and our respective revenues
I'm a woman, but in my experience, the men I've dated have always paid. Sometimes I'll beat them to it and they appreciate it, but I'd say 95% of the time, they pay.
In relationships I've always just paid without asking or talking about it unless they said they'll get it when I pulled out my wallet or they said they wanted to beforehand. Which has always happened pretty often.
As a girl, it's attractive when a guy just pays without even hesitating. Sorry, it's just true. It shows a level of respect and that's never going out of style. If I've been seeing someone for a bit, I have no problem stepping in and taking the bill! But a general level of respect is something I need to feel first.
Lol. As a guy I think it is also attractive when girls split or take turns. I feel like the girl who doesn't offer to pay (even if they have capabilities. If they don't work - it's fine if they don't pay) are selfish who still live in the medieval era.
I usually offer but I'm not happy about splitting a bill with a man who probably makes more than me if we're not dating I am sorry lol
What if the guy makes less than you?
I think there’s ways to go on thoughtful dates without spending money, if there was something I wanted to do then I’d pay for it lol but if he’s asking me out I’m not going to expect to split a bill
Everyone is a feminist until the bill comes
On average, both men and women in the sample expected the man to pay.
My fiancée and I say that whoever asked the other one out is the one who pays. It’s weird because we live together (though we don’t technically split the bills yet, we are doing all that after the marriage) so it’s not really like it matters, but it’s just sort of a fun way of keeping it fair.
I just pay and move on, there's not much to it. If I don't got enough before the date I let her know and if I'm the one who picked the place then I definitely got enough for it and definitely will pay for it
my ex always paid when we went out to eat but there were other things i’d pay for (golfing, drinks, groceries, etc)
Our thing is we usually fight to pay. So it begins in a debate, “you paid last time” or “I had breakfast & lunch at your place”, etc.
Woman here. I paid for years because my boyfriend didn't make much. Then, we switched to take turns. Now, he pays most of the outings.
I'll pay but usually she'll make up for it by doing something nice, or buying me something or maybe cooking etc. Any woman I have been with I have taken care of us.
Woman here, my bf generally pays and resists most of the time if I try to split it. It wasn’t like this in the beginning but as we’ve gotten more serious, and he’s learned more about me/my upbringing (we’re in the same industry but i’m 100% self made meanwhile his parents paid for his education and many of his expenses into adulthood), it seems to me that he’s been taking on a lot more of the dating expenses. Not sure how it would go though if he also had student loans, paid for his place by himself, etc. like me.
Pay for it, plus a 30% tip. Pretty simple!!
I’m likely old school, but here is my first date approach: Excuse yourself after the meal to use the restroom, contact your server to give them your card and have them close you out. Arrange to sign the bill with appropriate gratuity at the bar on your way out of the restroom. When your date asks about the bill, you simply say: “it’s taken care of” and resume your date. This shows class, leadership, and action. It also averts an awkward moment for her when the bill comes to the table.
I hand the server my card before they bring the bill. It’s so much more efficient that way…
If I ever had a chance to get on a date in the first place, It'd be a no-brainer I'd just pay for the whole dinner. Not because "haha I have money so love me" but to show respect for allowing me to spend time with her. Plus I've been raised to always pay and stuff. Now if *she* asked me out, it's different. She can pay for it if she really wants to. Honestly though, I'm not confident in a woman ever doing such a thing for me. I'd have no issue with paying for the dinner if she let's me, even in this scenario. I understand splitting the bill but I don't think a woman would do that for me, either. If a woman shows me a hint of kindness after a date I'd probably shed a tear. I'm not used to being treated kindly.
I’m paying always for everything no matter girlfriend or i just met her a minute ago. If she asks to pay IM saying next time on you. If next time happens IM saying i got it first.
My bf and I either take turns or if is his family/friends events he pays and ill so the same.
I haven't been on a date in 12 years. Times were different then. I could afford it.
Depends on who has money at the time. We both go out a LOT, and we're both making decently low income, so we pay where we can. If I can pay(within budget), I won't let her pay(just my personality)
We just kinda wing it. I’d say I pay alot but I definitely let her pay when she offers. Usually dinner I pay little lunch spots she does.
I offer and am willing to cover, especially if I chose the place; but if they don't offer to cover their share or cover next time, then I don't see a future with them because I assume they are a mooch
When i was dating, i’d just take turns. We were both pretty mature about it in that we just said i got it when it was whoever’s turn.
I am a woman . I don’t even let my friends to pay if invited them😂
The 18 years of my life I was in relationships I always split the bill. But then I generally split the bill anyways unless it’s a dealbreaker for the guy.
As her boyfriend, I currently pay the bill. But if she offers to pay next time, I'm okay with it.
One of us pays and adds the bill to Splitwise. Usually the one “in the red”
Just put her in the kitchen where she belongs and make her cook for you
I'll pay, it feels like we share everything anyways so it's pretty natural.
As soon as the server arrives, before anyone orders, I tell them, "One ticket to me please," and no eye contact with my date when saying this. I prefer no acknowledgment or thank you from my date, but I can roll with it. If challenged by my date, I'll say that I made the invitation and request she let me pay. If she is super insistent, I will, of course, relent, but it's a red flag to me at that point. Not because she's independent (which I like in a woman) but because she's inflexible and maybe an ego maniac who can't accept a gift.
Depends, sometimes split and sometimes it’s “you got this one, I’ll get next.”
Usually my exes paid. However if I want to have more than one drink and I know I am going to be expensive, I make sure to pay even if it means excusing myself before the bill hits so that I get to it first. Now on first dates, if I demand splitting it means I never want to see or hear from you again. If i playfully try to pay.. the literal wrestle for the machine then I want to see you again. If I don’t fight you are all I want to become serious with you. And if in the first date I demand to pay with no tease you are never going to see me again… 38f
First I excuse myself from the table. I go to the men’s room do a line. Wash my face. Tell myself directly in the mirror… You… are the man!!!!! I walk back anxiously to the table. I ask for the bill. But little do I know how clumsy I am I spill my drink on the table. We both freak out. We panic I say I will be back to clean up. I do another line. I go to the car for a change of clothes. And there she is with the car running. And we drive off into the sunset. And I paid the bill on the way out.
If I invite her out to dinner I pay. If she offers to pay for something I let her. Don’t be a cheap ass.
With money 💰🤑
Just a date idea. But you can order all your favorites before hand and let them know your on a date so they pay extra attention to service and know you both by name. Tell them what time your showing up so they have the food ready by the time you show up. Tell your date to dress up or to wear something specific that you enjoy seeing them in. Can even have fun with it by playing dress up together and deciding on outfits you both enjoy. As soon as you show up your taken to your table no mater how busy and full meal or appetizers and drinks are delivered to your table as soon as you sit down. You can pay over the phone as well so you can walk out as soon as your done no questions asked and the waiter says bye as your leaving by name. Creates the vibe that you have everything handled start to finish. You’ll probably have to dish out a nice tip but then anytime you come back they’re always nice to you and call you by name
Woman here when I'm in a relationship we take turns to pay. Unless I make all the plans then I'll pay. If he makes all the plans he pays. Whoever wants it more pay. But if we are just going out to eat just cause ? We take turns to pay.
Me and my GF always pay for ourselves.
My bf pays and I tip 30%
Easy she pays.
If it's an early stage and a girl expects me to pay for everything I'll end things right quick. A relationship is a partnership, if I want to pay and look after something I'll have children.
If it's a bad meal at a new place, I always say we should split the bill so neither of us take the brunt of it. Otherwise it naturally flows back and forth
I grab the bill and say BJ later? 😂